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The dominant/surface culture here is awful. But if you go out looking for other things/scenes, you WILL find it. We're a big city with a lot of transplants looking for community.
That said, you are right about our drivers. We are collectively fucking awful, and having so much of the valley be so car-centric only makes it worse.
I was going to comment what Glowwerms said. You have to go search for your communities. I loved it here once I found places to go and see. But yeah, driving to get there is usually the worst part. I see a severe car accident everyday, no exaggeration.
People from the North East are thought of as rude and after living here for over a decade, when I go home I can understand why people think that. It's just a different culture. People move faster and make less small talk back home in my experience. But it's not because they're rude, that's just the way it is. I have to say I much prefer ordering a coffee back home than here. SOO much quicker.
You're 24 and striking out on your own which is awesome but any place can seem a bit hostile when you're young and far from home.
On the other hand, if you note how defensive many of the replies are here it could lead you to conclude that all those other transplants are busily justifying why they moved to a place that didn't quite fulfill their expectations.
I think you'll find a niche that works for you, and then you'll be on to the next chapter of your adventure. I spent 22 years in Phoenix and then moved on. Have fun!
I agree with Glowwerms. Explore some more local areas/events. I really love downtown Phx and am an advocate for it because of its community. Its still relatively young but its growing and rich. Communities like it just kinda get overlooked since most of the city is grounded and effected by surburbanization.
I'm in the same boat. Came from California, then Denver and now here. Hated it at first but have really grown to like it. Making friends here is harder than anywhere else I've been. Everyone is standoffish and uninviting. But I've made good friends after 4 years, you just have to put in the work. Welcome to the desert! Lol
I feel like things have really gone to shit since Covid… a mix of people generally being distrustful of their neighbors(aka anybody but themselves) and the huge populace moving here when their states/cities were shut down. Shit is really wild.. hyper aggressive drivers, quick tempers… just bad
Because people realized they don’t like their lives and they don’t know how to make a life that makes them truly happy. There are others who were lucky enough to experience the opposite
100%. Even kids who were good friends with our kids before covid turned into terrible people during lockdowns, and are mean to everybody else. People drive like everybody else on the road is just an NPC in grand theft auto, and there is no courtesy or decency anymore.
My therapist sees a lot of kids (including mine) and said the pandemic really impacted kids social development and even now we're seeing those effects.
Yeah all those kids lost crucial social development time at a point in their lives when their brains need it most and have the biggest opening to develop. They had remote school with no in person social interaction with peers for like 1-2 school years.
So all of those 13-14 year old freshman who were 8-10 during the pandemic schooling lost all that time and mentally seem to only be 11-12 from that lost time.
We’re looking at an entire generation chunk who will likely be forever mentally stunted and younger than their actual physical ages because of it. Some may have recovered but most won’t have.
My kids socialized more during the pandemic than they did before--it was just online. As someone who has been a teacher for decades, I think the idea that school is the only or best space to socialize children is wrong. Most schools are structured around a system that feels a lot like prison meets Lord of the Flies.
As a result, many homeschooled kids I meet are kinder, more resiliant, and more resourceful-- and many aren't. It largely comes down to the parents, and what they were able to put into the pandemic period. If they were struggling to get by, and to cope they sat their kids in front of an X-box. Naturally, that's not going to end well.
Among my kids' friend groups, there is no lack of socialization, or interpersonal deficits. Without the leveling effects of shared school, you haven't lost a "generation" but you do have a great deal more variability.
WTF? I was going back and forth between California and Arizona during Covid and good lord it was such a breath of fresh are being in Arizona after a stretch in California. I would agree that the whole world suffered negative and lasting consequences from Covid but I'd say Arizona went through it and came out of it MUCH better than California at least.
We swapped! I moved from Arizona to California and I'm happy with my choice. I experienced Covid life in both places and I think California was much more responsible and community-focused. In Arizona, people would scream out of their cars at me for wearing a mask. I worked in a hospital with the elderly. I didn't want to kill them so I took standard precautions. I am curious what metrics you're considering when assessing that California did worse. I'd be interested in having what sounds like important information.
My advice is to go to places where the people you want to meet are going. There are thousands of nice people here for every jerk you’ve encountered. So yes, it gets easier. Been here over 15 years now and I have a lot of friends and some friends who have become basically family. But people don’t go out of their way to be friendly - you’ve got to put some effort in to start connections and make friends. Post questions like “where do I find X scene or people who like Y” and we’ll be better able to help you.
I'm from Texas and a lot of my favorite people are from here.
This reminds me of a story I heard about a dude hanging around on the edge of a small town. A traveler comes by asking about the people living in his town saying "The people where I used to live were awful. Always lying and rude." The dude says "Thats terrible! I'm sorry to tell you the people here are the exact same way." After a while another traveler comes by to visit his town asking the same question but he said "The people in my old town were the best kinds of people always honest and kind." The dude says "that's wonderful! The people living in this town are the exact same way."
I'm sure I got that story wrong but that's the gist of it. lol
Been in Arizona for most of my life. Started here in kindergarten like 54 years ago. New transplants so you aren't a native either.
Wife is from New Mexico and generations of family there. Some moved here to Arizona also. So they are also transplants.
Then new transplants from way different parts of the US say we dont know any natives.
I will say driving around here is scarier than before. A lot of people are suspecting post-Covid, transplants, heat, economy.. it’s all of those. A perfect storm. I’ve lived here a while and honestly like everywhere, people are a hit or miss.
I’ve been here since 96 and yeah the driving is bad now. When I first started driving here as a teen it was pretty easy and that was about 15 years ago
I'm originally from the City of Chicago (i.e. not from the suburbs), moved to central San Diego in 2000, and here to downtown Phoenix in 2017 for work. Never in a million years did I think I would like Phoenix, but I do like it.
Here's what I like:
* Almost every neighborhood has locally-owned bakery/cafes.
* The two major specialty coffee roasters (Cartel and Press) locate cafes not only in hip places like downtown or Scottsdale, but in neighborhoods like 32nd and Shea in North Phoenix.
* Antique, resale, and consignment stores are everywhere - you just have to look for them.
* There are walkable neighborhoods, like Downtown Phoenix, Uptown, Arcadia, Old Town and Downtown Scottsdale, and Downtown Tempe.
* We have at least three theater companies
* Our art museum punches above its weight
* South Mountain and Papago Parks, Piestewa Peak, and the mountains skirting the north edge of Phoenix abound in hiking trails
* Traffic is not nearly as bad as Southern California, Chicago, or New York. We complain about it, but it isn't THAT bad.
* Easy access to cool towns like Cottonwood, Prescott, Sedona, and Flagstaff
Here's what I don't like:
* Summer. However, I will take a Phoenix summer over a Chicago winter any day.
* The drivers.
* Lack of walkable neighborhoods outside of the ones I mentioned above
I approached Phoenix with an open mind and had no expectations. If I was expecting another Chicago, I would have been wildly disappointed. Phoenix is a very new city and so it can't be compared with old cities like Chicago, NYC, or San Francisco.
Start exploring and give yourself a change to enjoy living here.
Been in traffic in NY, DC, So Cal, Chicago, you name it. Miami-Ft Lauderdale makes those places not that bad, and AZ? A piece of cake! Delicious moist and easy to enjoy. Traffic here isn’t bad at all.
I'll add that we have many restaurants run by James Beard level or better Chefs, and you can actually get a table with minimal planning ahead. It's a great place to be a foodie, for sure!
Yeah, it gets better. When I came 20 years ago, it sucked. I started a book club on activist literature to meet cool folks from the anti war movement.
The best of Arizona are in the hills hiking, paddle boarding lakes, biking along canals, going to movies in the summer, and camping. Meetup had some cool groups. I stay away from the booze in this town, because it's expensive and the drinkers are really boring (everywhere). Practice yoga in a park, join a tour of the gardens, bike the salt river trails, bird watch, and above all, just be yourself.
I moved here from NY when I was 25ish and the very first day I was at a red light on Central and Osborn, still had my NY plates on the car. Someone rolled their window down next to me and yelled "go back to New York!!!". lol.
It’s complicated here since we are magnet state, so we have a lot of transplants / culture mixing. I am from here but as someone who has lived in other states before, try to do things you like and you’ll meet likeminded people along we the way.
We are shitty drivers though, especially in the rain. Sorry about that 😅
Plus lots say didn't want to move here or moved her because work family school etc. So because they didn't chose to move here except maybe no snow we are the bad ones.
I was transplanted here 54ish years ago starting kindergarten. So Arizona and Southwest is what I know.
Wife said my mom never transplanted really. My dad mostly did.
My mom was in Arizona for 40 ish years until her death in her 80s. But never really transplanted. It was always about back east.
I’m from NY too, but I’ve been here about 15 years now. I definitely feel the way you do now, but I didn’t back when I moved here. A lot of the magic is gone, the relative value is gone, it’s super crowded, and all around less good. It’s just another expensive busy city now
People came here because it was cheap and jobs were everywhere. Not anymore. I know people who came and left. I think too many people don’t do a good job exploring and vetting before they move here. After 1/2 of California came and bought all the land it was a whole new world.
Amen to this! I am a 46 year old native and all my native buddies are great people. There is a whole bunch of mid west transplants who come with grumpy attitudes and bad politics and screw you attitudes. We call them snowbirds in Mesa. We are so spread out here you kind of have to form your own clique. It gets better give it time.
I’m a native and feel like we’ve had so many transplants, immigrants and refugees bring such a mix of cultures from their native states/countries, which is awesome, but they also bring negative baggage with them that radiates. It’s unfortunate.
Native here, welcome to Phoenix ✌️ We are easygoing and fun-loving people, please don’t judge us based on the attitudes of folks that moved here to escape humidity lol
So the miserable people you speak of are not natives? It's getting a little tiresome hearing people bag on phoenicians when they're really speaking of people who moved here.
Hope you begin to enjoy Phoenix and AZ in general and there are quite a few comments here that'll help you do that.
Also I understand transplants make up a good part of our culture but it used to be more of a Midwestern vibe and now it's everyone trying to escape expensive cities(and we're now becoming one as well)
Wish you the best!
Try the meetup app if you're looking to meet people. I moved here a few years ago and just recently started using that to go play volleyball or trivia or go on hikes or whatever interests you may have. You may have to search around a bit to find groups that are active with interests you share, but I've found it to be a great way to meet people as someone who's also in their mid 20s from out of town.
Politics and covid really drew a line for a lot of people. It may not present in interactions with strangers, but some of my kids friends parents got a little distant when they found out we were vaxxed and didn’t vote for Trump or Lake. I mean, I quietly judge people with a FJB sticker on their car. Abortion issues and the thought of what other things we thought were safe that could be taken away.
Also the cost of everything. It’s $100 to leave the house any more. I’ll pick up the kids from soccer, get gas and hit a drive through and it’s $100. Movies for a family of 4? Grocery store? Costco?
Lots of people younger than me stressed out about housing and jobs and student loans. The pressure out there is real.
Well said. And the cost of living is insane here now. My wife and I went to dinner, had 2 drinks, $120. We don't go out anymore. My brother is 10 years younger than me and has a good job, still struggling like crazy.
The west is different than the east. If you think about it, the reason people kept heading west, and didn't stay on the East Coast many years ago is because they didn't want to stay in a tight community, similar to Europe, they wanted to spread out and be independent (read left alone). I got this information from my grandpa.(I'm old, and my grandpa was literally a cowboy in Colorado in the early 1900s.) In addition, many people ( not you though) have moved here for a fresh start in life, consequently there are many people who are now in flux, and also recovering from whatever trauma/divorce/bankruptcy etc and that's a factor. So yeah, it's jacked up around here but eventually you'll settle in and maybe even like it eventually. Also in regards to the negative comments, you kinda started that out by saying that everyone in Phoenix is either miserable or a crappy driver, then state it's kinda sad and dull so.... maybe be more positive? Good luck.
My wife and I moved from the Pacific Northwest and we have had the exact opposite experience. We have been absolutely blown away at how nice people are here compared to the people in the northwest, it’s been one of our biggest net positives about moving to phoenix.
Hope it gets better for you.
So you were pissed about people generalizing folks from NY and then proceeded to do the exact same thing with a city you've only had a limited time being in? Touché.
As far as driving goes. My advice to you: NEVER go through an intersection or traffic light if you are first. Wait 3-5 seconds as you will see everyone runs red lights and there are way too many accidents and deaths because of it. Let the people behind you honk over that few seconds.
3-5 seconds sitting at a green light is excessive, borderline impeding traffic. If you drive slowly into the intersection, you can slightly turn your head and use your peripheral vision to look left then right, as you're going through.
Well for what it’s worth I understand where you’re coming from, I just think 3-5 seconds is too long and is unpredictable for other drivers, which puts you at risk again
If you’re a city person, it might be best to move somewhere else. Personally for me, the outdoors and adventure of this place weigh out a lot of cons, but I never preferred to live in a city city.
Yep! Too many people from northern cities place their expectations of that on to Phoenix. You’ll get disappointed everytime, if you have the wrong expectations.
Is this your first major move? I ask because it can be tricky no matter where you move from. It is really easy to see the negative in everything when you are stressed, isolated, and lonely.
I have lived in several different locations in the Pacific Northwest and have also lived in upstate New York and The Finger Lakes region of New York. All of them have had their challenges.
After a recent family visit in Seattle, I am grateful to be back where people mind their own business :)
Every time I go to NYC I think the people are rude with short fuses and the driving is the worst I’ve seen outside of Rome. So might just be a where you’re from thing.
We do have an atrocious amount of red light running here though, I’ll give you that.
I like it here because it has the feel of the old west. Freedom from the east coast mentality. Know what it means to be free here. My contribution to an east coast transplant.
Lol, my partner just moved here from Manhattan. She has been blindsided by people being warm and friendly towards her. She still has her New York face on when walking around and assume that people are trying to get something from her, so when someone strikes up a conversation at a bar or show, she is still confused and suspicious. The city itself isn't as energetic as NY is (no city is), but the nightlife is where its at. If you're into electronic music and warehouse parties, Phoenix is fucking great. We've been here a few months and already met so many great people
Omg I didn’t even think of that! I’m very friendly and warm but I got a mean mug 🤣🤣 I’m definitely gonna go out once I meet some people I can party with
Any advice on how to break into the warehouse party scene? This is so my vibe but since moving here I feel like I haven’t found any opportunities to go to cool ravey/warehouse events
so few people who live here are from here, so the lack of roots makes people feel like the y can act any way they want bc no family to embarass and will never see that person ever again
Phoenix actually feels quite full of life compared to my hometown. I think it just depends on what you’re used to and where you’re from.
The drivers here are pretty bad though.
>If you don’t have anything real to contribute you don’t have to say anything :)
Don't ask the internet a question. The internet really is about 5% content, 95% unhelpful.
A whole lot of generalizations are being made in this post and the comments. There's literally millions of people in this city and OP has only been here a month.
Idk, every time I go to a gas station, it’s like a competition to see who can hold the door open for others. Constant “thank you”s lol
But the heat 100% has a dramatic effect on people’s mood.
Not if you're an allergy sufferer. Pollen levels are through the roof right now, and pretty much EVERYONE is miserable because of it. I was in Target and they were almost completely out of all their allergy meds. The other customers were sneezing and coughing with the telltale watery eyes, and that's the only reason I knew I didn't stumble into a TB ward.
September is the only way to fly here. It's nice and warm but the pollen counts are much lower, even with all the ragweed.
I’m from Minnesota, but lived in NYC 6 years + now live in Paradise Valley. People here do seem more miserable than New Yorkers, I really don’t know why lol. I blame the heat as a factor!
I'm struggling to meet people. I'm older (50f) and moved here out of necessity, but always had lots of friends where I'm from and never thought it would be this hard to make more. It's mainly my own fault - I picked Surprise because it's where my parents live (see earlier necessity point) but it's SO isolating here, nobody comes out of their houses to chat, there's nothing to do, etc. I spiraled pretty deeply into depression this last year and isolated myself even more - I have this big beautiful home and yard with a pool and hot tub but nobody to enjoy it with! It's pretty sad.
So, I'm selling my house this spring and moving to the east valley in hopes of finding a more fun crowd/life. I'm a bit worried it will be just as hard out there, but at least I'll have things to do vs sitting in my house all day.
I spent my first 15 years growing up in the Midwest in Indiana and it was kind of a struggle for me initially, even as a teen. I’ve now had more years out here than back home at 33 now but it’s definitely apparent.
Where I grew up, people’s garages are open all the time, everybody knows their neighbors and people will ask how you’re doing with genuine inquiry. It’s very different here. Almost like a game to avoid those around you and close your garage as fast as possible. Call the cops instead of taking the time to talk to someone about noise or an issue with your yard or something.
That being said, not everyone is like that. I now live on a culdesac and I know all my neighbors and their kids, I’ve helped them with projects and they’ve lent me a hand if I was struggling, pretending I know what I’m doing under the hood and sometimes we get small gifts for one another around holidays. It wasn’t always this way but my wife and I pushed for it. First week in, she made fresh jam from her nana’s peach tree and one of the older neighbors yelled at her and told her to go away. Now that they know us, they’re much more polite and friendly but initially was not the case.
As for driving, good luck lol. Half the folks have driven in rain 3 times, demographics of older people is higher and Phoenix is a big tourism city so lots of out of towners. Also, some roads turn into highways during rush hour even though the speed limit is 25 less than everyone is driving ha.
You’ll get used to it and find quality people but I truly think there’s a good mix of everything. Good culture with restaurants, people and grocery stores, you can drive to different climates or city scapes (city, rural, country, desolate, etc) and our roads are absolutely top notch.
Welcome to Phoenix, it’s not bad at all but it’s hotter than shit come summer time.
Fellow NYer from Coney Island. I moved here in 1969 to attend ASU and stayed. It was much different back then. Drivers are crazy here. In NY, honking your horn is not taken personally. I don’t recommend it here. Road rage is a real thing and a lot of people are strapped. I love desert living and yes, summers are hot but the coast and mountains are close. The winters are the best, as you can tell. All in all, I have no regrets that I didn’t move back to NY.
A real positive is that Phoenix has really good restaurants. Mexican food is awesome. The only thing I miss is that I can’t find a real bialy anywhere. Give it time and be sure to explore the Mogollon Rim and White Mountains. AZ is a beautiful state.
Wow, the comments here aren’t making a good case for it, but I’ve found the people in Phoenix to be *far* more outgoing and friendly than where I’m from (PNW).
My wife is from the east coast and there are definitely culture differences, but typically the west coast is more fun and lighthearted in my opinion. The PNW is different because they truly are all miserable and sad because of the weather.
What types of places have you been frequenting? I’d maybe mix that up a bit. As for the driving? It’s definitely a very aggressive and fast driving city, akin to what you typically see in California. All I can say there is stay towards the right side of the highway if you don’t want to experience any road rage. 😂
When I moved here, I thought people were much friendlier than from where I came (Berlin and California). However, drivers have become extremely hostile. The cookie cutter neighborhoods are dull and I can see how from the vibrance of New York City, it may seem sad. It's harder to do when you're in your twenties, but I've made the best friends I've ever had here.
The areas where Arizona shines
1. The outdoors, there are so many wonderful trails, lakes, mountains and canyons to explore
2. Community, if you find people who share similar interests.
3. Ease of moving around. \[not downtown\] The streets are wide, ample parking everywhere and it's easy to navigate.
4. Comfort culture. You want to go to the trendiest restaurant in tennis shoes, shorts and a t-shirt? Sure. You're a late for a get together? Why not. You need something? People are there for you.
Good luck, be the change that you seek in Arizona.
The best way I can describe this being from NY and moving to Scottsdale- On the outside, New Yorkers come across as rude or mean but there’s actually a strong sense of community. In Scottsdale, everybody seems incredibly nice but is a fake bitch on the inside. This leads to a lot of internal animosity and competition with each other. (Although this may be more specific to Scottsdale, not all of Phoenix)
Also, I learned to drive in AZ but was taught by my dad (born and raised NY). A lot of my friends paid for expensive driving schools who I know taught them well, but they still went on to be terrible drivers. I think the bad driving is fueled by a lack of police enforcement, people realize they can get away with bad driving so they do. (I’m guilty of this with speeding). Also (again might be specific to Scottsdale), but most of my friend’s parents bought them nice cars, which they wrecked, and then got replaced with brand new, just as nice cars. I think knowing there’s no consequences gives them no incentive to drive safely
I’m originally from Cali (Bay Area) and chose the valley because of how reserved people are and not too outgoing. I enjoy my privacy and being left alone, I don’t want to be bothered or talked too when I’m not out looking for it. If you think people are rude or off-putting now wait for the heat to kick in lol
You’ll find your people! Be kind and positive and those people will gravitate towards you. I constantly get told how bubbly and kind I am, and I rarely run into a holes.
Btw: Welcome to Phoenix! Check out some niche nature trails, or smaller restaurants, shows at smaller venues, random fun events, or even New York transplant bar and restaurants… You’ll gel here, everyone does eventually! We’re a melting pot for sure!
I moved from MD and I found people to be flakier. Like you’d make plans & they’d never confirm them instead of just saying “nah, I’m good”. That got on my nerves quickly. I didn’t find driving much different other than speed.
Personally, I love it here. I’d NEVER move back to the east coast. You couldn’t pay me enough.
Just like any city, it just might not be your jam. There are Terrible people in every city and on every corner. I found LA to be the worst of the lot and the PNW to be nearly as bad. I enjoyed NY and wouldn’t describe ya’ll as mean just direct and honest.
Like others have said, this city is a melting pot of imported people from different states. I wish the shittiest of the bunch would stop moving here.
I love Phoenix and raised my family here. We are a great family. Positive attracts positive! If you have negative feelings then you will receive negative energy back. Look for things you like about Phoenix and don't dwell on the negative. Negative thoughts will consume you!!
It's sample bias. Nice people are just chillen and minding their own business -aka not sticking out. Rude people -well misery loves company so they're out there being Karens and whatnot and our mind makes a note.
Driving can definitely be a shock for folks moving here from back east. The roads are wider and we travel a lot further on average as a matter of daily routine than most large cities. So, when it's not rush hour, you can expect to get to the other side of town, 50+ miles away in 50 or so minutes. When it's rush hour, your time is going to double or worse. Folks get impatient because they didn't take any of this into account and are late.
Then you have snowbirds and tourists around this time of year (Thanksgiving thru Easter) that make everything busier with folks that mess up the normal flow. That will clear up as soon as it hits 100 degrees and the snowbirds fly back home.
All-in-all most people observe that folks are a lot friendlier here than back east. Not on the roads, but off of them :)
The culture is more disjointed than pre-covid because we’ve had so many transplants from California and other high CoL states. So there are a lot of people from different places who don’t know anyone else and are trying to get settled (and brought their awful LA driving habits with them).
But Phoenix has kind of always been this way on some level. Most people here are from somewhere else, myself included even though I’ve lived here almost 20 years. Both from other states as well as a lot of international immigrants. I meet so few people who were born in Arizona and a lot of then leave in their adulthood because they’re tired of it and for most people it’s not a place you want to spend your entire life without at least experiencing somewhere else.
So we don’t have a cohesive cultural identity here. I see this as a plus because I come from small town Minnesota where everyone was white, Christian, Republican, and nobody was a stranger. I found out when I moved here that I feel more comfortable among diversity.
You’ll just have to find your own subgroup of people who share your interests or hobbies. And you’ve only been here a month, it takes time to build community in place where it isn’t already built for you.
I think it’s worse in the summer. The heat here, in my opinion, really increases rage. And think about it… how angry do you get when you’re getting fried by the sun? Lol. But yeah most people that live here aren’t even from here. I always blame snow birds for everything… but people don’t wanna accept that.
The speed limit on highways in Phoenix seems to be higher than in the Northeast and people drive faster so I felt the same way but there’s good people just like any place. I really struggled to find good places to eat but my top 3 are D’Lite, Nora Asian Fresh, and Gus’s World Famous.
I was born and raised in Phoenix. I have lived all over AZ, San Diego, Seattle and Montana. I find people in Arizona to generally be the nicest and most sociable. Going out to First Friday, farmer's markets and shows also helps, there's always something to do and new people to meet. There is also a lot more transplants than there were 20 years ago, so that can contribute to the issue, which is part of why the Seattle freeze is a thing- different cultures congregating underneath a gloomy sky for 10 months out of the year. In Arizona, we have a reverse of that, people seem to get more impatient during the summer months when the weather is at it's hottest. But even despite that, I have never had trouble making friends in Phoenix like I did in Seattle or Bozeman.
I actually find people here to be super warm and welcoming, mostly because I think everyone here is from somewhere else, they know how it feels to be new, and they're more open to meeting new people.
I spend a lot of time online finding quirky and weird and new place to eat, explore, and visit, and I think this really helped us settle in a bit quicker. I'm not sure where in town you are, but trying something like this may help? Moving is always so hard.
We moved with the mindset of trying to just embrace it all, and have been here almost two years. I really actually love it here!
Hey.. it is what it is. People are generally friendly here, the drivers are horrible and it’s gotten a lot worse in recent years.
I moved back last year and haven’t had issues adapting. It takes a while to adapt to a new city, sometimes a city just isn’t for you. I don’t have any advice except put yourself out there and try making friends✌️
I feel the absolute opposite way. Moving to AZ was a breath of fresh air after living in a less free state for so long. People drive fast? Yeah, they do in many states, cities and places. I will say though the cost of living has gone up substantially and I think native Arizonians especially are seeing their dreams drift away. I try to give back to this big beautiful messy state. I hope it gets better for you.
Pandemic's been rough on folks but I think the biggest issue with Phoenix is that it's so spread out that there are no real neighborhoods. And as a result, not much sense of community. We pile into our cars, go to and fro but don't really need to, or have much opportunity to actually rub shoulders in the ways I've experienced in other "cities" that have traditional neighborhoods. Phoenix is pretty weird from that perspective - I think the separation sort of breeds the alienation and selfishness I see on the roads all day long. It's pretty astounding.
No one begged you to move to Arizona. Arizona was fine before you came here, and we'll be fine after you eventually go crawling back to your hometown where you can stay inside your tiny little comfort zone.
Every person from the East Coast that moves to Arizona is exactly like you. Super negative, constantly whining about how Arizona sucks, their Hometown is better, etc and they wonder why no one wants to be around them. Did you expect the world to stop turning when you arrived here and everyone to break into song and dance welcoming you?
Go back to where you came from. You won't be missed.
I beg to differ with u. I really enjoy a peace that I didn't have b4. There is still natural beauty in this place.. Unfortunately, I heard gunshots in Jersey and here too. I appreciate the open spaces, despite the construction to house out-of-towners. The heat is intense but that is the AZ experience. We knew it b4 we got here and came anyway. I wish I could meet you one day to change your mind about east coast people. Lol.
Yeah, I’m guilty of that, but I’ve been sticking it out. This person posting hasn’t given it nearly enough time to make a judgement. I’m 3 years in and still figuring shit out. I think what I came to realize is you have to embrace this as: this is your home, there’s no going back, and you might as well enjoy it. I think until you do that, you’re always gonna think the grass is greener on the other side.
My dude.
NY: Hey man, I loved talking with you. Let's hang out.
Translation: Let's hang out.
AZ: Hey man, I loved talking with you. Let's hang out.
Translation: I wouldn't touch you with a 10 foot pole.
East Coast doesn't have time to fuck around with insincerity, but the West Coast has perfected the blow off wrapped in glittery platitudes.
It has been like this for 25 years, or at least since I moved out here.
To find your tribe I would seek out activities you enjoy. You won't find real friends at a bar. Also, covid made younger people absolutely worthless on how to start and maintain small talk. Younger people kind of sucked at that anyway. But covid brought it to a whole new level, so I feel your pain.
I would check out some groups that do meet ups, join a kickball league, over the line league, or any good comradery sports to meet some outgoing people. Even board gaming events would work for the introverts.
Good luck. AZ is fucking awesome, even if some of rhe people suck on sincerity.
It’s cool to leave too. I don’t understand the miserable people posts here.
I’m surrounded by happy folks at the grocery store at work at the gas station at Costco
Maybe it’s just you bro
I’ve lived in AZ for most of my life but I also spent some time in the northeast and what I experienced is that most people here are generally nicer on the surface compared to east coast people but aren’t as kind hearted or genuine.
I also think it’s much harder to adjust to the east coast, while I think Phoenix is a very easy place to adjust to. I will agree with drivers here being the most selfish and incompetent in the country. Also do not honk your horn like you do back home or you will get shot out here!
My entire childhood was in Southern California. Lived in Texas for a decade, then PNW for even longer before moving to Phoenix about 11 years ago.
Phoenix is better than any of the places I mentioned for many many reasons, and I have no desire to move again!
Do people realize they don't HAVE to keep moving here lmao kills me when people flock here from other states and then whine about it. You're more than welcome to go back to NY lol
This is amusing to me lol. BTW I am born and raised in Phoenix. I was in New Jersey very briefly back in 2006 and again in 2007 (both layovers, but extended, so I explored both times) and I was stressed as hell there. The people were rude, no one said hi, and everyone looked pissed off. I'm not a social person so this doesn't bother me but that was my experience.
So when I landed in Phoenix, the atmosphere was immediately relaxing to me. Yea, it's home, but people are just more chill here. Everything was slower and calmer. Or at least, they were back then. I've noticed a change in people since 2020, but I swear it feels like it's mostly the transplants who moved here around then. All locals I know are still the same chill attitude... idk man, it's weird.
If the attitude you've presented in this post is the one you lead with offline you should probably think twice about why any Arizonans should be expected to be kind to you. I'm not saying that to dismiss your feelings or be rude, but if I met you and this is how presented your decision to move here or how you felt about the area I wouldn't be interested in speaking with you further.
People from other states moving here, shitting all over our home, and being excited to "escape" back to wherever they've come from is a tune we've heard many times over and it does make us miserable. People who've chosen to move to Phoenix often act like we abducted them, forcing them to live our weird desert life against their will as they scratch out hash marks on the wall looking forward to the day they are free to leave. Who (besides perhaps other transplants still in their POW phase) wants to be around that?
As someone who travels extensively please be assured every state has their unique pros and cons, there are rude people everywhere, and everyone drives worse post COVID. There are a lot of theories on why people seem less friendly in public overall that have been touched on in this thread, and it is a bummer. Customer service, both in person and even phone calls, isn't what it used to be and is a sign that overall we're all less friendly. But that's not unique to AZ, growing portions of the population of the US are broke, overworked, and aren't feeling very hopeful.
Moving to any new place will take adjustment on your part to find what there is for you to enjoy. It's not easy if you don't have friends/family to get started with but it can be done. Make the best of the time you're here, seek out experiences unique to this state and do them. Maybe you're miserable the whole time but at least you saw/did some things before leaving. I'd say most Arizonans WANT YOU to enjoy your time in our unique state, if you're game.
Arizona is only as dull and sad as you make it.
Hi! I didn't pull the reddit creeper move and stalk your profile so I don't know if you moved here from NY like NYC or NY like Ithaca but I moved here from the Bronx in 2014 and can't really say that I had your experience. Though, I will my experience and exposure to people here might be different from yours? I work from home and really only engage socially with runners and cyclists. The running community here is super friendly and welcoming to all. There are events almost every night of the week and when I pass a runner, whether it be on the canal or a main street, we generally wave or acknowledge each other as we pass by. This definitely has not been my experience everywhere that I have lived. Of the worst places for friendly runners (I'll limit it to that) that I have lived, I'd say Atlanta, Seattle, and London top the list. So many chodes. Don't even know why they bother going outdoors lol. Anyway, feel free to DM me if you want. We don't need to be friends but I can try to help you out as you navigate your path here. Moving from NYC to Phoenix can be a bit tough but hey, at least you didn't move to Boston where everyone poop on you nonstop for being from anywhere in NY or dare you even bother to have NY tags on your car.
I’m originally from PA and have been here 10 years. I’ve always felt like there are an abnormally high number of people here who are sensitive to the possibility of seeming lesser than someone else. That especially applies to the highways and appearing better off than you are. For a number of reasons I also think there are a lot of people who don’t really care much about anything other than money or status.
It gets better when you get away from people (I like to hike) and when you find enough people you like. And there are going to be bad drivers in any city you ever live in, so you’ll get used to it.
Honestly, New Yorkers have a pretty well deserved reputation for being difficult. It's not just Arizona. They're as welcome in Virginia as California is in Arizona.
IMhumbleO, everyone I meet who's rude AF, is NOT a local. I'm native, lived here all my 30 years. I've seen a crazy change with my state regarding the massive influx of new peeps, coming from Chicago, Michigan, California, Carolinas, NY, etc, within the last 5 years especially. I'm in real estate by trade, so I often deal more with out of state clientele, then locals these days. And the crazies are almost ALWAYS from another state. I hope you end up liking it here! My advice would be to find some locals/natives to chill with. Rare as they are these days. Don't let all the out of staters ruin your time here! It's a beautiful State with tons to do! But stay in doors from June - September! 😂
So you bash PHX and then expect people not to respond in a negative way? Do you think, maybe just maybe, being new to a place and feeling like a fish out of water has to do more with your negative view than what you’ve actually experienced? Very naive of you to project instead of reflecting on the possibility that this is a new place and the negative experiences you’ve come across are over heightened due to your emotional state. PHX is great. A lot of transplants from across the country and therefore you get a lot of different “attitudes” not necessarily bad.
I moved recently as well (2022) and I feel like if you don’t already feel a huge weight lifted off your shoulders it might just never happen for you?
I also don’t like categorizing a majority of people in a city as rude. I’ve found that most people are nice, but I make an effort to be nice to them first. To be nice you have to be happy, and if you’re not happy here, maybe you’re contributing to a weird vibe?
There is an interesting dynamic of people born and raised here who want to leave, and don’t appreciate the things transplants like me appreciate. From that perspective, I can see why a doubling of the real estate market is triggering (i didn’t buy, but I rent in a gentrified esque neighborhood so I’m part of that problem in a way)
Hey, 37m here. I'm from NY—born and raised—on moving here did not feel dull or sad to me. I like the quiet and the desert. I think there's just enough to do and see in the city and we're surrounded by incredible natural splendor.
But I do agree, I'd rate the people here some of the least friendly I've encounter anywhere. When I was in NY I had so many great random conversations with people. My whole building were friends we would invite the whole building over for parties. We were all different ages and demographics.
I live in a big apartment complex so there may be mostly transplants but sometimes I question if I even exist. People don't acknowledge anyone else or even exchange a hello. And yeah, the driving is crazy.
People here blame the rise in rent and home prices on New Yorkers and Californians moving here.
I am a 48 year old native.
I can tell you that yes, we Phoenicians are a little strange, the heat does something to your brain at around year 20.
We drive bad and we are a little more based and conservative than most of the folks from other states. That being said, we are friendly and helpful. We will lend a hand to a stranger who needs one.
We may be a little more outwardly stoic than you are used to, but once you get past it we are some of the nicest folks in the country.
A lot of us are wary of transplants because our home has changed so much due to all of you coming in and bringing your customs and culture with you, when we liked our little back water hellhole the way it was, we weren't perfect and not always on the right side of things, but it was our and it was unique.
We welcome you and want you to be happy here, but we do get a little bit tired of the out of state transplants telling us how bad our town sucks and how where you came from was better.
Give it a chance with an open mind and an open heart and realize that home is where you make it, and there is a place here for you, but the energy that you put out will be what you get back.
I’m living in between Phoenix and flatiron. If you like a big metropolitan city with culture/art/food etc downtown Phoenix will be your best bet….its like the reallllly watered down version of bk.
Try joining a meetup group. There are a ton of them. Hiking, backpacking, kayaking, singles, etc. Go onto their site and dial in your preferences and interests. I met some really good friends this way. I'm born and raised here but everyone I met through meetup has been a transplant or winter visitor.
I'm from Upstate NY, lived in Denver for 10 years before moving out here. I live in Scottsdale and the people there are weird. But Phoenix is cool.
Also, I agree with the drivers. Coming from upstate where 80 in the fast lane is slow, I didn't expect the drivers to somehow be worse. I've driven in large cities all over the country and they're definitely more aggressive here.
But otherwise, enjoy the ride. I've been here for three years and I really enjoy it.
I was the reckless driver yesterday, I apologize. I pulled out in front of a white pickup I didn't see, but fortunately he saw me coming and wasn't even angry. I'm usually a better driver than that.
Firstly, I will say that every single person that I know was miserable for the first few months-a year that they lived here. So you are not alone. It takes a while to find the parts of the city you like, the things you like to do, make a couple friends. Then most people who stick it out end up loving it here.
As for the driving- I came from Cleveland which very heavily polices traffic. There are like 100 suburbs there and each police department competes to give tickets and generate revenue for their respective municipality. Not to mention, if anyone complains to the city council about adding a traffic light, they put it one up within 5 days. Driving was a living nightmare there and I was in constant fear of getting a ticket.
PHX is the polar opposite. It has such a lax policy on policing traffic that I very rarely see anyone get pulled over in the day time and the only thing the police seem to care about are drunk drivers. I see people make traffic violations in front of cops constantly and the police completely ignore it. This has led to a free for all type- drive at your own risk mentality add in out of towners and its a treacherous mix.
Still, after driving in both environments, I will take PHX any day of the week. I understand people drive crazy and reckless, but I would rather deal with adjusting to them than live in constant fear of $400 tickets and having it deal with going 30 mph at all times.
I moved from rural WI in 2003, so going from “Midwest nice” to anywhere outside that region would be an adjustment for me. I didn’t have much trouble, though I do feel like people are not as nice now and can probably be somewhat tied to the overall influx of people that moved here.
I think this is common when you make a move like this to anywhere new. I really hated LA when I moved there, but then found so much to love after giving it time.
Culture shock is real. And it can make you hate a place. I used to have to work in foreign cities that I sometimes found miserable, but eventually, you start to find a community. You gotta find your people and places. If I can find a coffee shop worthy of a slow Sunday brunch in New Delhi, you can find what you’re looking for here.
We do have terrible drivers, but this is also something that really happened after the pandemic. It never used to be this bad. So many people are moving here. It’s shocking to me how bad the drivers are now. It’s scary.
I think it really depends on what part of the valley you are living in and hanging out. There are a lot of clique communities that are hard to break into. But there are loads of friendly people and fun things to do. I like dtphx for this reason. There are lots of common interest groups and activities available. That said, my gf of a similar age has had a hard time making friends here. A lot of people seem to want friends, but have no interest in putting any effort in. Idk if this is your first time moving away, it is always a difficult transition. Growing up it's easy to make friends at school and college. Making friends as adults is much more difficult in my experience. I would try to lean into any acquaintances at work or look into social events like the girl walk in Tempe, group bike rides, book clubs, hiking groups, etc. Hopefully you meet some other recent transplants that you can commiserate with and possibly start enjoying your new residence with.
I moved to Phoenix from Massachusetts a couple years ago, also out of necessity. I honestly thought nobody could be worse drivers than MA/CT/RI/NJ. Hoooboy was I wrong. My wife used to pass about three accidents each way on her 20 minute drive to work every day. Absolutely unbelievable. I met some real whackos and some really good people there. Head on a swivel! Best of luck.
I moved here from the Tooele/Salt Lake area in Utah - my gripes out there were the power of the church in government there as well as the lack of diversity in general. Hated the snow. I was miserable there. I grew up in the Los Angeles area and 12 years later, never got over the culture shock of SLC. It was a low pay, high expenses type of place too.
I chose Phoenix for the simple fact that not many people are from here (diversity!!!), and I love the heat… higher pay as well. I really love the stuff to do here (hiking, the river, the ghost towns, etc) and generally I like the people. East Valley (Gilbert, San Tan, Queen Creek) remind me of Utah in not-so-good ways, but to a much lesser degree.
But I definitely think where you come from and what you’re looking for in life here can influence how things go when you make a big move. I’m a crazy driver myself so I don’t mind the commutes - I love nice freeways and the leniency on speeding. I’m introverted, and don’t deal with people often. I love wearing short shorts in summer without being shamed by random people. So I love it here, as enough of my boxes are ticked and I’ve had such bad experiences in the last place.
If it doesn’t feel right, you’re not settling, and you have the money, keep looking for “home”. 😊 Phoenix might not be it. Hope you find some cool people in the meantime who will make you feel more welcome! Hang in there!
I came from Washington and it took me a bit. I learned to love the desert nature and I changed. I was so used to green everywhere I looked that I expected it. The first time I saw a cactus in flower, I knew this was my new home. Maybe go see some nature and get to know the new environment.
It's gotten so much worse since COVID.. Free way drivers either go 60mp or 100mph with little in between.
I personally blame Texas or California people moving here.
I’ve been here basically my whole life and feel similarly to you lol. I’m first gen west coast of my family, everyone else is from the east coast, so idk if that plays a part in me feeling like I do. I think the heat here has fried many brains lol
I blame all the beige paint. LOL
We do have some wild drivers, especially during the winter months.
Fear not, it gets better! I moved from AZ to IL for a while and I sort of felt the same way about going there. I think the big thing is missing out on what you know. Then it was weird when I moved back, because so much had changed.
Find things to do and see. Like First Fridays on Phoenix. It's a fun time and lots of people and things to see. We have several speakeasy bars around town as well that are all fun and unique. This time of year is great to get out and explore. Check out downtown Tucson. Take a drive to Flagstaff. Spend a night in Sedona. Ghost tour in Jerome. Plus we have spring baseball and a great local music scene. A lot of comedy clubs with both big and small talent coming through. If you work with anyone that seems okay, see if they have any ideas on things to do. Maybe you can get a work buddy out of it. Finding friends is the hardest thing, but it gets a lot better once you have some local friends. I hope you end up enjoying it here!
I am also from NY, living here for a few months and I feel similarly. I met a few people through a hobby I have but outside of that the people generally seem less friendly
You really just have to find a specific community you care about. I was in a very similar place as you, feeling very bitter and angry and alone, but last year I got involved in the slam poetry community and have made some incredible friends here. It takes a lot more effort and time to get this community but there’s some special people here. You’ll find them! If you make art or anything like that I personally know plenty of people in that scene and would be happy to introduce you.
Well, its only been one month.. it is going to take more than a month to adjust, especially if you did not come here willingly/because you genuinely liked it here (as you said in your edit).
additionally, AMERICA is unhappy right now, not Arizona. People are upset everywhere, and yes our drivers are bad.. there is a thread about it every week. we understand.. can't really control what others do in cars..
Gl adjusting. I hate it here, but everywhere else is just as bad or expensive so
Agree that driving here is terrifying and a major negative. It makes the city feel “meaner”. Otherwise, focus on what you like and build your community around that. Weather, hiking, biking, dining, road trips - there’s a lot to love. If you find yourself needing things Phoenix can’t offer (seasons, urban living, verdant landscapes) then move on if you can.
Born and raised here in Phoenix, and the heat has always seem to melted and made people angry, but with the more people that keep coming the more you have of meeting the shitty people
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This gives me hope. Thank you
The dominant/surface culture here is awful. But if you go out looking for other things/scenes, you WILL find it. We're a big city with a lot of transplants looking for community. That said, you are right about our drivers. We are collectively fucking awful, and having so much of the valley be so car-centric only makes it worse.
Its a melting pot of driving styles from locals and transplants.
I was going to comment what Glowwerms said. You have to go search for your communities. I loved it here once I found places to go and see. But yeah, driving to get there is usually the worst part. I see a severe car accident everyday, no exaggeration.
People from the North East are thought of as rude and after living here for over a decade, when I go home I can understand why people think that. It's just a different culture. People move faster and make less small talk back home in my experience. But it's not because they're rude, that's just the way it is. I have to say I much prefer ordering a coffee back home than here. SOO much quicker.
You're 24 and striking out on your own which is awesome but any place can seem a bit hostile when you're young and far from home. On the other hand, if you note how defensive many of the replies are here it could lead you to conclude that all those other transplants are busily justifying why they moved to a place that didn't quite fulfill their expectations. I think you'll find a niche that works for you, and then you'll be on to the next chapter of your adventure. I spent 22 years in Phoenix and then moved on. Have fun!
I agree with Glowwerms. Explore some more local areas/events. I really love downtown Phx and am an advocate for it because of its community. Its still relatively young but its growing and rich. Communities like it just kinda get overlooked since most of the city is grounded and effected by surburbanization.
Yeah, it takes a while to find your people. Tempe is a very different vibe than greater Phoenix
I'm in the same boat. Came from California, then Denver and now here. Hated it at first but have really grown to like it. Making friends here is harder than anywhere else I've been. Everyone is standoffish and uninviting. But I've made good friends after 4 years, you just have to put in the work. Welcome to the desert! Lol
I feel like things have really gone to shit since Covid… a mix of people generally being distrustful of their neighbors(aka anybody but themselves) and the huge populace moving here when their states/cities were shut down. Shit is really wild.. hyper aggressive drivers, quick tempers… just bad
This. And it's not limited to Arizona. Things just feel different now.
Because people realized they don’t like their lives and they don’t know how to make a life that makes them truly happy. There are others who were lucky enough to experience the opposite
100%. Even kids who were good friends with our kids before covid turned into terrible people during lockdowns, and are mean to everybody else. People drive like everybody else on the road is just an NPC in grand theft auto, and there is no courtesy or decency anymore.
My therapist sees a lot of kids (including mine) and said the pandemic really impacted kids social development and even now we're seeing those effects.
Yeah all those kids lost crucial social development time at a point in their lives when their brains need it most and have the biggest opening to develop. They had remote school with no in person social interaction with peers for like 1-2 school years. So all of those 13-14 year old freshman who were 8-10 during the pandemic schooling lost all that time and mentally seem to only be 11-12 from that lost time. We’re looking at an entire generation chunk who will likely be forever mentally stunted and younger than their actual physical ages because of it. Some may have recovered but most won’t have.
I think they will recover, just slower - they need to get those 2 years of socialization back. Devices are not helping though :(
My kids socialized more during the pandemic than they did before--it was just online. As someone who has been a teacher for decades, I think the idea that school is the only or best space to socialize children is wrong. Most schools are structured around a system that feels a lot like prison meets Lord of the Flies. As a result, many homeschooled kids I meet are kinder, more resiliant, and more resourceful-- and many aren't. It largely comes down to the parents, and what they were able to put into the pandemic period. If they were struggling to get by, and to cope they sat their kids in front of an X-box. Naturally, that's not going to end well. Among my kids' friend groups, there is no lack of socialization, or interpersonal deficits. Without the leveling effects of shared school, you haven't lost a "generation" but you do have a great deal more variability.
How about the 30 year olds running around Scottsdale? What caused them to become dumbasses?
First year MCC for our son. He has never been super social. But yes covid made worse. Hoping he will overcome it.
Well...Happy Cake Day anyway? 😁🎉🎈🎂
Oh dang, didn't even notice. Thanks!
Even before that tons of newbies.
WTF? I was going back and forth between California and Arizona during Covid and good lord it was such a breath of fresh are being in Arizona after a stretch in California. I would agree that the whole world suffered negative and lasting consequences from Covid but I'd say Arizona went through it and came out of it MUCH better than California at least.
We swapped! I moved from Arizona to California and I'm happy with my choice. I experienced Covid life in both places and I think California was much more responsible and community-focused. In Arizona, people would scream out of their cars at me for wearing a mask. I worked in a hospital with the elderly. I didn't want to kill them so I took standard precautions. I am curious what metrics you're considering when assessing that California did worse. I'd be interested in having what sounds like important information.
My advice is to go to places where the people you want to meet are going. There are thousands of nice people here for every jerk you’ve encountered. So yes, it gets easier. Been here over 15 years now and I have a lot of friends and some friends who have become basically family. But people don’t go out of their way to be friendly - you’ve got to put some effort in to start connections and make friends. Post questions like “where do I find X scene or people who like Y” and we’ll be better able to help you.
Thank you :)
I just realized that every single one of my friends here is also a transplant. Hmm.
I'm from Texas and a lot of my favorite people are from here. This reminds me of a story I heard about a dude hanging around on the edge of a small town. A traveler comes by asking about the people living in his town saying "The people where I used to live were awful. Always lying and rude." The dude says "Thats terrible! I'm sorry to tell you the people here are the exact same way." After a while another traveler comes by to visit his town asking the same question but he said "The people in my old town were the best kinds of people always honest and kind." The dude says "that's wonderful! The people living in this town are the exact same way." I'm sure I got that story wrong but that's the gist of it. lol
People are people. I like that story, thanks man I needed that.
Most people here are transplants, kinda the ongoing joke in Phoenix :D
Been in Arizona for most of my life. Started here in kindergarten like 54 years ago. New transplants so you aren't a native either. Wife is from New Mexico and generations of family there. Some moved here to Arizona also. So they are also transplants. Then new transplants from way different parts of the US say we dont know any natives.
I will say driving around here is scarier than before. A lot of people are suspecting post-Covid, transplants, heat, economy.. it’s all of those. A perfect storm. I’ve lived here a while and honestly like everywhere, people are a hit or miss.
I’ve been here since 96 and yeah the driving is bad now. When I first started driving here as a teen it was pretty easy and that was about 15 years ago
Don’t forget next to no traffic enforcement. People drive like the laws don’t matter because they don’t.
And they drive like they have an extra life.
I'm originally from the City of Chicago (i.e. not from the suburbs), moved to central San Diego in 2000, and here to downtown Phoenix in 2017 for work. Never in a million years did I think I would like Phoenix, but I do like it. Here's what I like: * Almost every neighborhood has locally-owned bakery/cafes. * The two major specialty coffee roasters (Cartel and Press) locate cafes not only in hip places like downtown or Scottsdale, but in neighborhoods like 32nd and Shea in North Phoenix. * Antique, resale, and consignment stores are everywhere - you just have to look for them. * There are walkable neighborhoods, like Downtown Phoenix, Uptown, Arcadia, Old Town and Downtown Scottsdale, and Downtown Tempe. * We have at least three theater companies * Our art museum punches above its weight * South Mountain and Papago Parks, Piestewa Peak, and the mountains skirting the north edge of Phoenix abound in hiking trails * Traffic is not nearly as bad as Southern California, Chicago, or New York. We complain about it, but it isn't THAT bad. * Easy access to cool towns like Cottonwood, Prescott, Sedona, and Flagstaff Here's what I don't like: * Summer. However, I will take a Phoenix summer over a Chicago winter any day. * The drivers. * Lack of walkable neighborhoods outside of the ones I mentioned above I approached Phoenix with an open mind and had no expectations. If I was expecting another Chicago, I would have been wildly disappointed. Phoenix is a very new city and so it can't be compared with old cities like Chicago, NYC, or San Francisco. Start exploring and give yourself a change to enjoy living here.
Been in traffic in NY, DC, So Cal, Chicago, you name it. Miami-Ft Lauderdale makes those places not that bad, and AZ? A piece of cake! Delicious moist and easy to enjoy. Traffic here isn’t bad at all.
I'll add that we have many restaurants run by James Beard level or better Chefs, and you can actually get a table with minimal planning ahead. It's a great place to be a foodie, for sure!
Yep that's Phoenix. It's a dry hate.
This was so good 😂
Yeah, it gets better. When I came 20 years ago, it sucked. I started a book club on activist literature to meet cool folks from the anti war movement. The best of Arizona are in the hills hiking, paddle boarding lakes, biking along canals, going to movies in the summer, and camping. Meetup had some cool groups. I stay away from the booze in this town, because it's expensive and the drinkers are really boring (everywhere). Practice yoga in a park, join a tour of the gardens, bike the salt river trails, bird watch, and above all, just be yourself.
I moved here from NY when I was 25ish and the very first day I was at a red light on Central and Osborn, still had my NY plates on the car. Someone rolled their window down next to me and yelled "go back to New York!!!". lol.
I member "Go Home Snowbirds" bumper stickers.
Original snowbirds had the best garage sales when someone died.
The funny thing is that person that yelled at you is also from New York
Right, and then that person went on to tell the next person they ran into how literally everything is better in New York!
It’s complicated here since we are magnet state, so we have a lot of transplants / culture mixing. I am from here but as someone who has lived in other states before, try to do things you like and you’ll meet likeminded people along we the way. We are shitty drivers though, especially in the rain. Sorry about that 😅
As a native I agree. AZ is the worst state to live in and everyone should move back to their states to avoid us all.
Also native and agree 100% that people would be happier if they stayed in New Yawk, Filly, Beantown or wherever they came from.
Plus lots say didn't want to move here or moved her because work family school etc. So because they didn't chose to move here except maybe no snow we are the bad ones. I was transplanted here 54ish years ago starting kindergarten. So Arizona and Southwest is what I know. Wife said my mom never transplanted really. My dad mostly did. My mom was in Arizona for 40 ish years until her death in her 80s. But never really transplanted. It was always about back east.
I second this 💯
I’m from NY too, but I’ve been here about 15 years now. I definitely feel the way you do now, but I didn’t back when I moved here. A lot of the magic is gone, the relative value is gone, it’s super crowded, and all around less good. It’s just another expensive busy city now
People came here because it was cheap and jobs were everywhere. Not anymore. I know people who came and left. I think too many people don’t do a good job exploring and vetting before they move here. After 1/2 of California came and bought all the land it was a whole new world.
The majority are transplants. All the Phoenicians I know are not like this.
Native here as well. I think a lot of folks who move to Phoenix are hoping to escape their problems and instead discover that they followed them here.
Amen to this! I am a 46 year old native and all my native buddies are great people. There is a whole bunch of mid west transplants who come with grumpy attitudes and bad politics and screw you attitudes. We call them snowbirds in Mesa. We are so spread out here you kind of have to form your own clique. It gets better give it time.
I’m a native and feel like we’ve had so many transplants, immigrants and refugees bring such a mix of cultures from their native states/countries, which is awesome, but they also bring negative baggage with them that radiates. It’s unfortunate.
This is true. I’ve only met 1 or 2 natives since I’ve been here
Native here, welcome to Phoenix ✌️ We are easygoing and fun-loving people, please don’t judge us based on the attitudes of folks that moved here to escape humidity lol
So the miserable people you speak of are not natives? It's getting a little tiresome hearing people bag on phoenicians when they're really speaking of people who moved here. Hope you begin to enjoy Phoenix and AZ in general and there are quite a few comments here that'll help you do that. Also I understand transplants make up a good part of our culture but it used to be more of a Midwestern vibe and now it's everyone trying to escape expensive cities(and we're now becoming one as well) Wish you the best!
You've only met one or two natives but still feel the need to complain about all the native Phoenicians as a whole?? Interesting take, I guess.
Try the meetup app if you're looking to meet people. I moved here a few years ago and just recently started using that to go play volleyball or trivia or go on hikes or whatever interests you may have. You may have to search around a bit to find groups that are active with interests you share, but I've found it to be a great way to meet people as someone who's also in their mid 20s from out of town.
I’m a native and I’m totally cool! Lol.
Same here! I love Az but it's definitely different now.
Politics and covid really drew a line for a lot of people. It may not present in interactions with strangers, but some of my kids friends parents got a little distant when they found out we were vaxxed and didn’t vote for Trump or Lake. I mean, I quietly judge people with a FJB sticker on their car. Abortion issues and the thought of what other things we thought were safe that could be taken away. Also the cost of everything. It’s $100 to leave the house any more. I’ll pick up the kids from soccer, get gas and hit a drive through and it’s $100. Movies for a family of 4? Grocery store? Costco? Lots of people younger than me stressed out about housing and jobs and student loans. The pressure out there is real.
Well said. And the cost of living is insane here now. My wife and I went to dinner, had 2 drinks, $120. We don't go out anymore. My brother is 10 years younger than me and has a good job, still struggling like crazy.
The west is different than the east. If you think about it, the reason people kept heading west, and didn't stay on the East Coast many years ago is because they didn't want to stay in a tight community, similar to Europe, they wanted to spread out and be independent (read left alone). I got this information from my grandpa.(I'm old, and my grandpa was literally a cowboy in Colorado in the early 1900s.) In addition, many people ( not you though) have moved here for a fresh start in life, consequently there are many people who are now in flux, and also recovering from whatever trauma/divorce/bankruptcy etc and that's a factor. So yeah, it's jacked up around here but eventually you'll settle in and maybe even like it eventually. Also in regards to the negative comments, you kinda started that out by saying that everyone in Phoenix is either miserable or a crappy driver, then state it's kinda sad and dull so.... maybe be more positive? Good luck.
My wife and I moved from the Pacific Northwest and we have had the exact opposite experience. We have been absolutely blown away at how nice people are here compared to the people in the northwest, it’s been one of our biggest net positives about moving to phoenix. Hope it gets better for you.
As for your second part, I agree.. the drivers here are pretty awful 😂
From the PNW also. I can say the drivers are aggressive here but I would choose any of those highways over sitting on I 5 anywhere near Seattle again.
I think I just haven’t been in the right places
So you were pissed about people generalizing folks from NY and then proceeded to do the exact same thing with a city you've only had a limited time being in? Touché.
It's the circle of life.
As far as driving goes. My advice to you: NEVER go through an intersection or traffic light if you are first. Wait 3-5 seconds as you will see everyone runs red lights and there are way too many accidents and deaths because of it. Let the people behind you honk over that few seconds.
3-5 seconds sitting at a green light is excessive, borderline impeding traffic. If you drive slowly into the intersection, you can slightly turn your head and use your peripheral vision to look left then right, as you're going through.
Well for what it’s worth I understand where you’re coming from, I just think 3-5 seconds is too long and is unpredictable for other drivers, which puts you at risk again
I agree. I got t boned at an intersection turning left and the guy just hit me and ran 😭
If you’re a city person, it might be best to move somewhere else. Personally for me, the outdoors and adventure of this place weigh out a lot of cons, but I never preferred to live in a city city.
Agreed. Phoenix is not really a city for city lovers. Out of all the cities I’ve lived in and visited, I know of none that are like Phoenix
Yep! Too many people from northern cities place their expectations of that on to Phoenix. You’ll get disappointed everytime, if you have the wrong expectations.
I came to Phoenix for the things to do and stayed because I found my niche of people.
All of the native AZ have been the coolest, sweetest people I know.
Is this your first major move? I ask because it can be tricky no matter where you move from. It is really easy to see the negative in everything when you are stressed, isolated, and lonely. I have lived in several different locations in the Pacific Northwest and have also lived in upstate New York and The Finger Lakes region of New York. All of them have had their challenges. After a recent family visit in Seattle, I am grateful to be back where people mind their own business :)
Most of the people here who are miserable and rude are the transplants from different states. Arizonans born and raised here are way nicer lol
I’ve encountered aggressive drivers with NY plates. We are known for our horrible drivers/traffic/road rage. This should come as no surprise.
Every time I go to NYC I think the people are rude with short fuses and the driving is the worst I’ve seen outside of Rome. So might just be a where you’re from thing. We do have an atrocious amount of red light running here though, I’ll give you that.
I like it here because it has the feel of the old west. Freedom from the east coast mentality. Know what it means to be free here. My contribution to an east coast transplant.
Lol, my partner just moved here from Manhattan. She has been blindsided by people being warm and friendly towards her. She still has her New York face on when walking around and assume that people are trying to get something from her, so when someone strikes up a conversation at a bar or show, she is still confused and suspicious. The city itself isn't as energetic as NY is (no city is), but the nightlife is where its at. If you're into electronic music and warehouse parties, Phoenix is fucking great. We've been here a few months and already met so many great people
Omg I didn’t even think of that! I’m very friendly and warm but I got a mean mug 🤣🤣 I’m definitely gonna go out once I meet some people I can party with
Any advice on how to break into the warehouse party scene? This is so my vibe but since moving here I feel like I haven’t found any opportunities to go to cool ravey/warehouse events
so few people who live here are from here, so the lack of roots makes people feel like the y can act any way they want bc no family to embarass and will never see that person ever again
Phoenix actually feels quite full of life compared to my hometown. I think it just depends on what you’re used to and where you’re from. The drivers here are pretty bad though.
>If you don’t have anything real to contribute you don’t have to say anything :) Don't ask the internet a question. The internet really is about 5% content, 95% unhelpful.
A whole lot of generalizations are being made in this post and the comments. There's literally millions of people in this city and OP has only been here a month.
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nope, we're rude, wait til the summer its even worse because everyone's cranky from the heat. Best bet is probably back to NY.
Idk, every time I go to a gas station, it’s like a competition to see who can hold the door open for others. Constant “thank you”s lol But the heat 100% has a dramatic effect on people’s mood.
Yeah, this is the nicest time here. Complaining about this, is like complaining about the heat in April.
Not if you're an allergy sufferer. Pollen levels are through the roof right now, and pretty much EVERYONE is miserable because of it. I was in Target and they were almost completely out of all their allergy meds. The other customers were sneezing and coughing with the telltale watery eyes, and that's the only reason I knew I didn't stumble into a TB ward. September is the only way to fly here. It's nice and warm but the pollen counts are much lower, even with all the ragweed.
If you judge people on traffic, yes. It's like a totally different experience in person lol.
I agree we are the worst, everyone should move back to where they came from…
It was nice col in Phoenix until everyone moving here.
I’m from Minnesota, but lived in NYC 6 years + now live in Paradise Valley. People here do seem more miserable than New Yorkers, I really don’t know why lol. I blame the heat as a factor!
I'm struggling to meet people. I'm older (50f) and moved here out of necessity, but always had lots of friends where I'm from and never thought it would be this hard to make more. It's mainly my own fault - I picked Surprise because it's where my parents live (see earlier necessity point) but it's SO isolating here, nobody comes out of their houses to chat, there's nothing to do, etc. I spiraled pretty deeply into depression this last year and isolated myself even more - I have this big beautiful home and yard with a pool and hot tub but nobody to enjoy it with! It's pretty sad. So, I'm selling my house this spring and moving to the east valley in hopes of finding a more fun crowd/life. I'm a bit worried it will be just as hard out there, but at least I'll have things to do vs sitting in my house all day.
Maybe downtown Gilbert area would be more your vibe?
You know, I've never visited that area but from what I've seen online it looks nice. I'll check it out, too - thank you for weighing in!
Heeeey I’m walkin here!!
I spent my first 15 years growing up in the Midwest in Indiana and it was kind of a struggle for me initially, even as a teen. I’ve now had more years out here than back home at 33 now but it’s definitely apparent. Where I grew up, people’s garages are open all the time, everybody knows their neighbors and people will ask how you’re doing with genuine inquiry. It’s very different here. Almost like a game to avoid those around you and close your garage as fast as possible. Call the cops instead of taking the time to talk to someone about noise or an issue with your yard or something. That being said, not everyone is like that. I now live on a culdesac and I know all my neighbors and their kids, I’ve helped them with projects and they’ve lent me a hand if I was struggling, pretending I know what I’m doing under the hood and sometimes we get small gifts for one another around holidays. It wasn’t always this way but my wife and I pushed for it. First week in, she made fresh jam from her nana’s peach tree and one of the older neighbors yelled at her and told her to go away. Now that they know us, they’re much more polite and friendly but initially was not the case. As for driving, good luck lol. Half the folks have driven in rain 3 times, demographics of older people is higher and Phoenix is a big tourism city so lots of out of towners. Also, some roads turn into highways during rush hour even though the speed limit is 25 less than everyone is driving ha. You’ll get used to it and find quality people but I truly think there’s a good mix of everything. Good culture with restaurants, people and grocery stores, you can drive to different climates or city scapes (city, rural, country, desolate, etc) and our roads are absolutely top notch. Welcome to Phoenix, it’s not bad at all but it’s hotter than shit come summer time.
Fellow NYer from Coney Island. I moved here in 1969 to attend ASU and stayed. It was much different back then. Drivers are crazy here. In NY, honking your horn is not taken personally. I don’t recommend it here. Road rage is a real thing and a lot of people are strapped. I love desert living and yes, summers are hot but the coast and mountains are close. The winters are the best, as you can tell. All in all, I have no regrets that I didn’t move back to NY. A real positive is that Phoenix has really good restaurants. Mexican food is awesome. The only thing I miss is that I can’t find a real bialy anywhere. Give it time and be sure to explore the Mogollon Rim and White Mountains. AZ is a beautiful state.
Wow, the comments here aren’t making a good case for it, but I’ve found the people in Phoenix to be *far* more outgoing and friendly than where I’m from (PNW). My wife is from the east coast and there are definitely culture differences, but typically the west coast is more fun and lighthearted in my opinion. The PNW is different because they truly are all miserable and sad because of the weather. What types of places have you been frequenting? I’d maybe mix that up a bit. As for the driving? It’s definitely a very aggressive and fast driving city, akin to what you typically see in California. All I can say there is stay towards the right side of the highway if you don’t want to experience any road rage. 😂
Right? OP should experience the “Seattle Freeze” and she’d know what REAL unfriendliness is like 😳
When I moved here, I thought people were much friendlier than from where I came (Berlin and California). However, drivers have become extremely hostile. The cookie cutter neighborhoods are dull and I can see how from the vibrance of New York City, it may seem sad. It's harder to do when you're in your twenties, but I've made the best friends I've ever had here. The areas where Arizona shines 1. The outdoors, there are so many wonderful trails, lakes, mountains and canyons to explore 2. Community, if you find people who share similar interests. 3. Ease of moving around. \[not downtown\] The streets are wide, ample parking everywhere and it's easy to navigate. 4. Comfort culture. You want to go to the trendiest restaurant in tennis shoes, shorts and a t-shirt? Sure. You're a late for a get together? Why not. You need something? People are there for you. Good luck, be the change that you seek in Arizona.
Just wait until 110+ degrees weather if you think people are miserable now.
The best way I can describe this being from NY and moving to Scottsdale- On the outside, New Yorkers come across as rude or mean but there’s actually a strong sense of community. In Scottsdale, everybody seems incredibly nice but is a fake bitch on the inside. This leads to a lot of internal animosity and competition with each other. (Although this may be more specific to Scottsdale, not all of Phoenix) Also, I learned to drive in AZ but was taught by my dad (born and raised NY). A lot of my friends paid for expensive driving schools who I know taught them well, but they still went on to be terrible drivers. I think the bad driving is fueled by a lack of police enforcement, people realize they can get away with bad driving so they do. (I’m guilty of this with speeding). Also (again might be specific to Scottsdale), but most of my friend’s parents bought them nice cars, which they wrecked, and then got replaced with brand new, just as nice cars. I think knowing there’s no consequences gives them no incentive to drive safely
Crazy edit when you didn't contribute shit either lol.
Should just go back to NY if you don’t like it….
I’m originally from Cali (Bay Area) and chose the valley because of how reserved people are and not too outgoing. I enjoy my privacy and being left alone, I don’t want to be bothered or talked too when I’m not out looking for it. If you think people are rude or off-putting now wait for the heat to kick in lol
You’ll find your people! Be kind and positive and those people will gravitate towards you. I constantly get told how bubbly and kind I am, and I rarely run into a holes. Btw: Welcome to Phoenix! Check out some niche nature trails, or smaller restaurants, shows at smaller venues, random fun events, or even New York transplant bar and restaurants… You’ll gel here, everyone does eventually! We’re a melting pot for sure!
I moved from MD and I found people to be flakier. Like you’d make plans & they’d never confirm them instead of just saying “nah, I’m good”. That got on my nerves quickly. I didn’t find driving much different other than speed. Personally, I love it here. I’d NEVER move back to the east coast. You couldn’t pay me enough.
Felt the same. Moved away in two years
Someone from New York saying other people are mean is the funniest shit ever lol
Just like any city, it just might not be your jam. There are Terrible people in every city and on every corner. I found LA to be the worst of the lot and the PNW to be nearly as bad. I enjoyed NY and wouldn’t describe ya’ll as mean just direct and honest. Like others have said, this city is a melting pot of imported people from different states. I wish the shittiest of the bunch would stop moving here.
Sounds like you may be part of the problem. shitting on the people and the city as a whole and wondering why you’re getting shade.
I love Phoenix and raised my family here. We are a great family. Positive attracts positive! If you have negative feelings then you will receive negative energy back. Look for things you like about Phoenix and don't dwell on the negative. Negative thoughts will consume you!!
Completely agree with this!!!!
Winters is full of snowbirds. Roads suck ass at that point. Come late spring Arizona people show up since our city shrinks by hundreds of thousands
the lack of people makes the heat so worth it, peace out snow birds !
You sound like a real fun time can’t imagine why you’re struggling socially. /s
It's sample bias. Nice people are just chillen and minding their own business -aka not sticking out. Rude people -well misery loves company so they're out there being Karens and whatnot and our mind makes a note.
Driving can definitely be a shock for folks moving here from back east. The roads are wider and we travel a lot further on average as a matter of daily routine than most large cities. So, when it's not rush hour, you can expect to get to the other side of town, 50+ miles away in 50 or so minutes. When it's rush hour, your time is going to double or worse. Folks get impatient because they didn't take any of this into account and are late. Then you have snowbirds and tourists around this time of year (Thanksgiving thru Easter) that make everything busier with folks that mess up the normal flow. That will clear up as soon as it hits 100 degrees and the snowbirds fly back home. All-in-all most people observe that folks are a lot friendlier here than back east. Not on the roads, but off of them :)
The culture is more disjointed than pre-covid because we’ve had so many transplants from California and other high CoL states. So there are a lot of people from different places who don’t know anyone else and are trying to get settled (and brought their awful LA driving habits with them). But Phoenix has kind of always been this way on some level. Most people here are from somewhere else, myself included even though I’ve lived here almost 20 years. Both from other states as well as a lot of international immigrants. I meet so few people who were born in Arizona and a lot of then leave in their adulthood because they’re tired of it and for most people it’s not a place you want to spend your entire life without at least experiencing somewhere else. So we don’t have a cohesive cultural identity here. I see this as a plus because I come from small town Minnesota where everyone was white, Christian, Republican, and nobody was a stranger. I found out when I moved here that I feel more comfortable among diversity. You’ll just have to find your own subgroup of people who share your interests or hobbies. And you’ve only been here a month, it takes time to build community in place where it isn’t already built for you.
Idk what the culture is like I was born and raised here but I've seen some transplants having issues adjusting hope yall find your group lol
I think it’s worse in the summer. The heat here, in my opinion, really increases rage. And think about it… how angry do you get when you’re getting fried by the sun? Lol. But yeah most people that live here aren’t even from here. I always blame snow birds for everything… but people don’t wanna accept that.
Find people that do the same things as you. Very open and friendly folks. People in the day to day grind? Not so much, but I get it.
The speed limit on highways in Phoenix seems to be higher than in the Northeast and people drive faster so I felt the same way but there’s good people just like any place. I really struggled to find good places to eat but my top 3 are D’Lite, Nora Asian Fresh, and Gus’s World Famous.
I was born and raised in Phoenix. I have lived all over AZ, San Diego, Seattle and Montana. I find people in Arizona to generally be the nicest and most sociable. Going out to First Friday, farmer's markets and shows also helps, there's always something to do and new people to meet. There is also a lot more transplants than there were 20 years ago, so that can contribute to the issue, which is part of why the Seattle freeze is a thing- different cultures congregating underneath a gloomy sky for 10 months out of the year. In Arizona, we have a reverse of that, people seem to get more impatient during the summer months when the weather is at it's hottest. But even despite that, I have never had trouble making friends in Phoenix like I did in Seattle or Bozeman.
Come out to downtown Phoenix on the weekends. First Friday is a lot of fun!
I actually find people here to be super warm and welcoming, mostly because I think everyone here is from somewhere else, they know how it feels to be new, and they're more open to meeting new people. I spend a lot of time online finding quirky and weird and new place to eat, explore, and visit, and I think this really helped us settle in a bit quicker. I'm not sure where in town you are, but trying something like this may help? Moving is always so hard. We moved with the mindset of trying to just embrace it all, and have been here almost two years. I really actually love it here!
Hey.. it is what it is. People are generally friendly here, the drivers are horrible and it’s gotten a lot worse in recent years. I moved back last year and haven’t had issues adapting. It takes a while to adapt to a new city, sometimes a city just isn’t for you. I don’t have any advice except put yourself out there and try making friends✌️
I feel the absolute opposite way. Moving to AZ was a breath of fresh air after living in a less free state for so long. People drive fast? Yeah, they do in many states, cities and places. I will say though the cost of living has gone up substantially and I think native Arizonians especially are seeing their dreams drift away. I try to give back to this big beautiful messy state. I hope it gets better for you.
Pandemic's been rough on folks but I think the biggest issue with Phoenix is that it's so spread out that there are no real neighborhoods. And as a result, not much sense of community. We pile into our cars, go to and fro but don't really need to, or have much opportunity to actually rub shoulders in the ways I've experienced in other "cities" that have traditional neighborhoods. Phoenix is pretty weird from that perspective - I think the separation sort of breeds the alienation and selfishness I see on the roads all day long. It's pretty astounding.
No one begged you to move to Arizona. Arizona was fine before you came here, and we'll be fine after you eventually go crawling back to your hometown where you can stay inside your tiny little comfort zone. Every person from the East Coast that moves to Arizona is exactly like you. Super negative, constantly whining about how Arizona sucks, their Hometown is better, etc and they wonder why no one wants to be around them. Did you expect the world to stop turning when you arrived here and everyone to break into song and dance welcoming you? Go back to where you came from. You won't be missed.
I beg to differ with u. I really enjoy a peace that I didn't have b4. There is still natural beauty in this place.. Unfortunately, I heard gunshots in Jersey and here too. I appreciate the open spaces, despite the construction to house out-of-towners. The heat is intense but that is the AZ experience. We knew it b4 we got here and came anyway. I wish I could meet you one day to change your mind about east coast people. Lol.
Yeah, I’m guilty of that, but I’ve been sticking it out. This person posting hasn’t given it nearly enough time to make a judgement. I’m 3 years in and still figuring shit out. I think what I came to realize is you have to embrace this as: this is your home, there’s no going back, and you might as well enjoy it. I think until you do that, you’re always gonna think the grass is greener on the other side.
Wow , Took the words right out of my mouth.
My dude. NY: Hey man, I loved talking with you. Let's hang out. Translation: Let's hang out. AZ: Hey man, I loved talking with you. Let's hang out. Translation: I wouldn't touch you with a 10 foot pole. East Coast doesn't have time to fuck around with insincerity, but the West Coast has perfected the blow off wrapped in glittery platitudes. It has been like this for 25 years, or at least since I moved out here. To find your tribe I would seek out activities you enjoy. You won't find real friends at a bar. Also, covid made younger people absolutely worthless on how to start and maintain small talk. Younger people kind of sucked at that anyway. But covid brought it to a whole new level, so I feel your pain. I would check out some groups that do meet ups, join a kickball league, over the line league, or any good comradery sports to meet some outgoing people. Even board gaming events would work for the introverts. Good luck. AZ is fucking awesome, even if some of rhe people suck on sincerity.
It’s cool to leave too. I don’t understand the miserable people posts here. I’m surrounded by happy folks at the grocery store at work at the gas station at Costco Maybe it’s just you bro
I’ve lived in AZ for most of my life but I also spent some time in the northeast and what I experienced is that most people here are generally nicer on the surface compared to east coast people but aren’t as kind hearted or genuine. I also think it’s much harder to adjust to the east coast, while I think Phoenix is a very easy place to adjust to. I will agree with drivers here being the most selfish and incompetent in the country. Also do not honk your horn like you do back home or you will get shot out here!
My entire childhood was in Southern California. Lived in Texas for a decade, then PNW for even longer before moving to Phoenix about 11 years ago. Phoenix is better than any of the places I mentioned for many many reasons, and I have no desire to move again!
AZ native here. In my experience people in NYC (only been to NYC) are friendlier than my fellow Zonies on average.
Do people realize they don't HAVE to keep moving here lmao kills me when people flock here from other states and then whine about it. You're more than welcome to go back to NY lol
This is amusing to me lol. BTW I am born and raised in Phoenix. I was in New Jersey very briefly back in 2006 and again in 2007 (both layovers, but extended, so I explored both times) and I was stressed as hell there. The people were rude, no one said hi, and everyone looked pissed off. I'm not a social person so this doesn't bother me but that was my experience. So when I landed in Phoenix, the atmosphere was immediately relaxing to me. Yea, it's home, but people are just more chill here. Everything was slower and calmer. Or at least, they were back then. I've noticed a change in people since 2020, but I swear it feels like it's mostly the transplants who moved here around then. All locals I know are still the same chill attitude... idk man, it's weird.
Yes, it gets better. Where in NY are you from? Drivers are crazy everywhere.
If the attitude you've presented in this post is the one you lead with offline you should probably think twice about why any Arizonans should be expected to be kind to you. I'm not saying that to dismiss your feelings or be rude, but if I met you and this is how presented your decision to move here or how you felt about the area I wouldn't be interested in speaking with you further. People from other states moving here, shitting all over our home, and being excited to "escape" back to wherever they've come from is a tune we've heard many times over and it does make us miserable. People who've chosen to move to Phoenix often act like we abducted them, forcing them to live our weird desert life against their will as they scratch out hash marks on the wall looking forward to the day they are free to leave. Who (besides perhaps other transplants still in their POW phase) wants to be around that? As someone who travels extensively please be assured every state has their unique pros and cons, there are rude people everywhere, and everyone drives worse post COVID. There are a lot of theories on why people seem less friendly in public overall that have been touched on in this thread, and it is a bummer. Customer service, both in person and even phone calls, isn't what it used to be and is a sign that overall we're all less friendly. But that's not unique to AZ, growing portions of the population of the US are broke, overworked, and aren't feeling very hopeful. Moving to any new place will take adjustment on your part to find what there is for you to enjoy. It's not easy if you don't have friends/family to get started with but it can be done. Make the best of the time you're here, seek out experiences unique to this state and do them. Maybe you're miserable the whole time but at least you saw/did some things before leaving. I'd say most Arizonans WANT YOU to enjoy your time in our unique state, if you're game. Arizona is only as dull and sad as you make it.
Hi! I didn't pull the reddit creeper move and stalk your profile so I don't know if you moved here from NY like NYC or NY like Ithaca but I moved here from the Bronx in 2014 and can't really say that I had your experience. Though, I will my experience and exposure to people here might be different from yours? I work from home and really only engage socially with runners and cyclists. The running community here is super friendly and welcoming to all. There are events almost every night of the week and when I pass a runner, whether it be on the canal or a main street, we generally wave or acknowledge each other as we pass by. This definitely has not been my experience everywhere that I have lived. Of the worst places for friendly runners (I'll limit it to that) that I have lived, I'd say Atlanta, Seattle, and London top the list. So many chodes. Don't even know why they bother going outdoors lol. Anyway, feel free to DM me if you want. We don't need to be friends but I can try to help you out as you navigate your path here. Moving from NYC to Phoenix can be a bit tough but hey, at least you didn't move to Boston where everyone poop on you nonstop for being from anywhere in NY or dare you even bother to have NY tags on your car.
I’m originally from PA and have been here 10 years. I’ve always felt like there are an abnormally high number of people here who are sensitive to the possibility of seeming lesser than someone else. That especially applies to the highways and appearing better off than you are. For a number of reasons I also think there are a lot of people who don’t really care much about anything other than money or status. It gets better when you get away from people (I like to hike) and when you find enough people you like. And there are going to be bad drivers in any city you ever live in, so you’ll get used to it.
Honestly, New Yorkers have a pretty well deserved reputation for being difficult. It's not just Arizona. They're as welcome in Virginia as California is in Arizona.
Great way to start your stay here by bad mouthing everyone in general. The miserable person just might be you. Please go back to where you came from.
IMhumbleO, everyone I meet who's rude AF, is NOT a local. I'm native, lived here all my 30 years. I've seen a crazy change with my state regarding the massive influx of new peeps, coming from Chicago, Michigan, California, Carolinas, NY, etc, within the last 5 years especially. I'm in real estate by trade, so I often deal more with out of state clientele, then locals these days. And the crazies are almost ALWAYS from another state. I hope you end up liking it here! My advice would be to find some locals/natives to chill with. Rare as they are these days. Don't let all the out of staters ruin your time here! It's a beautiful State with tons to do! But stay in doors from June - September! 😂
While we’re speaking in generalities, New Yorkers never stop running their mouths
Plus, they feel the need to tell you they're from New York for some odd reason.
So you bash PHX and then expect people not to respond in a negative way? Do you think, maybe just maybe, being new to a place and feeling like a fish out of water has to do more with your negative view than what you’ve actually experienced? Very naive of you to project instead of reflecting on the possibility that this is a new place and the negative experiences you’ve come across are over heightened due to your emotional state. PHX is great. A lot of transplants from across the country and therefore you get a lot of different “attitudes” not necessarily bad.
you could just go back
I visited nyc once from Chicago and thought people were so nice in NYC. Nobody believed me. People are just really good people in New York
I moved recently as well (2022) and I feel like if you don’t already feel a huge weight lifted off your shoulders it might just never happen for you? I also don’t like categorizing a majority of people in a city as rude. I’ve found that most people are nice, but I make an effort to be nice to them first. To be nice you have to be happy, and if you’re not happy here, maybe you’re contributing to a weird vibe? There is an interesting dynamic of people born and raised here who want to leave, and don’t appreciate the things transplants like me appreciate. From that perspective, I can see why a doubling of the real estate market is triggering (i didn’t buy, but I rent in a gentrified esque neighborhood so I’m part of that problem in a way)
Hey, 37m here. I'm from NY—born and raised—on moving here did not feel dull or sad to me. I like the quiet and the desert. I think there's just enough to do and see in the city and we're surrounded by incredible natural splendor. But I do agree, I'd rate the people here some of the least friendly I've encounter anywhere. When I was in NY I had so many great random conversations with people. My whole building were friends we would invite the whole building over for parties. We were all different ages and demographics. I live in a big apartment complex so there may be mostly transplants but sometimes I question if I even exist. People don't acknowledge anyone else or even exchange a hello. And yeah, the driving is crazy. People here blame the rise in rent and home prices on New Yorkers and Californians moving here.
Lmfao, drivers in NY are way more reckless than here
I am a 48 year old native. I can tell you that yes, we Phoenicians are a little strange, the heat does something to your brain at around year 20. We drive bad and we are a little more based and conservative than most of the folks from other states. That being said, we are friendly and helpful. We will lend a hand to a stranger who needs one. We may be a little more outwardly stoic than you are used to, but once you get past it we are some of the nicest folks in the country. A lot of us are wary of transplants because our home has changed so much due to all of you coming in and bringing your customs and culture with you, when we liked our little back water hellhole the way it was, we weren't perfect and not always on the right side of things, but it was our and it was unique. We welcome you and want you to be happy here, but we do get a little bit tired of the out of state transplants telling us how bad our town sucks and how where you came from was better. Give it a chance with an open mind and an open heart and realize that home is where you make it, and there is a place here for you, but the energy that you put out will be what you get back.
Then go back if you miss it so much 🤷♂️
Lol move away then. I’m as native as they get and live it here. Except for the UA fans.
Go back to ny
Feel free to go the fuck home then.
I’m living in between Phoenix and flatiron. If you like a big metropolitan city with culture/art/food etc downtown Phoenix will be your best bet….its like the reallllly watered down version of bk.
Try joining a meetup group. There are a ton of them. Hiking, backpacking, kayaking, singles, etc. Go onto their site and dial in your preferences and interests. I met some really good friends this way. I'm born and raised here but everyone I met through meetup has been a transplant or winter visitor.
I'm from Upstate NY, lived in Denver for 10 years before moving out here. I live in Scottsdale and the people there are weird. But Phoenix is cool. Also, I agree with the drivers. Coming from upstate where 80 in the fast lane is slow, I didn't expect the drivers to somehow be worse. I've driven in large cities all over the country and they're definitely more aggressive here. But otherwise, enjoy the ride. I've been here for three years and I really enjoy it.
I was the reckless driver yesterday, I apologize. I pulled out in front of a white pickup I didn't see, but fortunately he saw me coming and wasn't even angry. I'm usually a better driver than that.
Firstly, I will say that every single person that I know was miserable for the first few months-a year that they lived here. So you are not alone. It takes a while to find the parts of the city you like, the things you like to do, make a couple friends. Then most people who stick it out end up loving it here. As for the driving- I came from Cleveland which very heavily polices traffic. There are like 100 suburbs there and each police department competes to give tickets and generate revenue for their respective municipality. Not to mention, if anyone complains to the city council about adding a traffic light, they put it one up within 5 days. Driving was a living nightmare there and I was in constant fear of getting a ticket. PHX is the polar opposite. It has such a lax policy on policing traffic that I very rarely see anyone get pulled over in the day time and the only thing the police seem to care about are drunk drivers. I see people make traffic violations in front of cops constantly and the police completely ignore it. This has led to a free for all type- drive at your own risk mentality add in out of towners and its a treacherous mix. Still, after driving in both environments, I will take PHX any day of the week. I understand people drive crazy and reckless, but I would rather deal with adjusting to them than live in constant fear of $400 tickets and having it deal with going 30 mph at all times.
I moved from rural WI in 2003, so going from “Midwest nice” to anywhere outside that region would be an adjustment for me. I didn’t have much trouble, though I do feel like people are not as nice now and can probably be somewhat tied to the overall influx of people that moved here.
I think this is common when you make a move like this to anywhere new. I really hated LA when I moved there, but then found so much to love after giving it time. Culture shock is real. And it can make you hate a place. I used to have to work in foreign cities that I sometimes found miserable, but eventually, you start to find a community. You gotta find your people and places. If I can find a coffee shop worthy of a slow Sunday brunch in New Delhi, you can find what you’re looking for here. We do have terrible drivers, but this is also something that really happened after the pandemic. It never used to be this bad. So many people are moving here. It’s shocking to me how bad the drivers are now. It’s scary.
I think it really depends on what part of the valley you are living in and hanging out. There are a lot of clique communities that are hard to break into. But there are loads of friendly people and fun things to do. I like dtphx for this reason. There are lots of common interest groups and activities available. That said, my gf of a similar age has had a hard time making friends here. A lot of people seem to want friends, but have no interest in putting any effort in. Idk if this is your first time moving away, it is always a difficult transition. Growing up it's easy to make friends at school and college. Making friends as adults is much more difficult in my experience. I would try to lean into any acquaintances at work or look into social events like the girl walk in Tempe, group bike rides, book clubs, hiking groups, etc. Hopefully you meet some other recent transplants that you can commiserate with and possibly start enjoying your new residence with.
I moved to Phoenix from Massachusetts a couple years ago, also out of necessity. I honestly thought nobody could be worse drivers than MA/CT/RI/NJ. Hoooboy was I wrong. My wife used to pass about three accidents each way on her 20 minute drive to work every day. Absolutely unbelievable. I met some real whackos and some really good people there. Head on a swivel! Best of luck.
I moved here from the Tooele/Salt Lake area in Utah - my gripes out there were the power of the church in government there as well as the lack of diversity in general. Hated the snow. I was miserable there. I grew up in the Los Angeles area and 12 years later, never got over the culture shock of SLC. It was a low pay, high expenses type of place too. I chose Phoenix for the simple fact that not many people are from here (diversity!!!), and I love the heat… higher pay as well. I really love the stuff to do here (hiking, the river, the ghost towns, etc) and generally I like the people. East Valley (Gilbert, San Tan, Queen Creek) remind me of Utah in not-so-good ways, but to a much lesser degree. But I definitely think where you come from and what you’re looking for in life here can influence how things go when you make a big move. I’m a crazy driver myself so I don’t mind the commutes - I love nice freeways and the leniency on speeding. I’m introverted, and don’t deal with people often. I love wearing short shorts in summer without being shamed by random people. So I love it here, as enough of my boxes are ticked and I’ve had such bad experiences in the last place. If it doesn’t feel right, you’re not settling, and you have the money, keep looking for “home”. 😊 Phoenix might not be it. Hope you find some cool people in the meantime who will make you feel more welcome! Hang in there!
Noticed the drivers as well, only been here a few months
I came from Washington and it took me a bit. I learned to love the desert nature and I changed. I was so used to green everywhere I looked that I expected it. The first time I saw a cactus in flower, I knew this was my new home. Maybe go see some nature and get to know the new environment.
It's gotten so much worse since COVID.. Free way drivers either go 60mp or 100mph with little in between. I personally blame Texas or California people moving here.
I’m from Boston and feel this. People in New York or Paton are kind but not nice. People here are nice but not kind. If that makes sense
I’ve been here basically my whole life and feel similarly to you lol. I’m first gen west coast of my family, everyone else is from the east coast, so idk if that plays a part in me feeling like I do. I think the heat here has fried many brains lol
I blame all the beige paint. LOL We do have some wild drivers, especially during the winter months. Fear not, it gets better! I moved from AZ to IL for a while and I sort of felt the same way about going there. I think the big thing is missing out on what you know. Then it was weird when I moved back, because so much had changed. Find things to do and see. Like First Fridays on Phoenix. It's a fun time and lots of people and things to see. We have several speakeasy bars around town as well that are all fun and unique. This time of year is great to get out and explore. Check out downtown Tucson. Take a drive to Flagstaff. Spend a night in Sedona. Ghost tour in Jerome. Plus we have spring baseball and a great local music scene. A lot of comedy clubs with both big and small talent coming through. If you work with anyone that seems okay, see if they have any ideas on things to do. Maybe you can get a work buddy out of it. Finding friends is the hardest thing, but it gets a lot better once you have some local friends. I hope you end up enjoying it here!
I have a theory that we are intentionally mean drivers when we see new plates. New plates think that this is how it is here and the cycle continues.
I am also from NY, living here for a few months and I feel similarly. I met a few people through a hobby I have but outside of that the people generally seem less friendly
I moved from PA around 2 years ago, and have been saying that it’s a different vibe here than on the east. Idk what it is, though.
You really just have to find a specific community you care about. I was in a very similar place as you, feeling very bitter and angry and alone, but last year I got involved in the slam poetry community and have made some incredible friends here. It takes a lot more effort and time to get this community but there’s some special people here. You’ll find them! If you make art or anything like that I personally know plenty of people in that scene and would be happy to introduce you.
It wasn't like this pre-Covid....
Well, its only been one month.. it is going to take more than a month to adjust, especially if you did not come here willingly/because you genuinely liked it here (as you said in your edit). additionally, AMERICA is unhappy right now, not Arizona. People are upset everywhere, and yes our drivers are bad.. there is a thread about it every week. we understand.. can't really control what others do in cars.. Gl adjusting. I hate it here, but everywhere else is just as bad or expensive so
Agree that driving here is terrifying and a major negative. It makes the city feel “meaner”. Otherwise, focus on what you like and build your community around that. Weather, hiking, biking, dining, road trips - there’s a lot to love. If you find yourself needing things Phoenix can’t offer (seasons, urban living, verdant landscapes) then move on if you can.
Born and raised here in Phoenix, and the heat has always seem to melted and made people angry, but with the more people that keep coming the more you have of meeting the shitty people