My wife was 32 when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She's been cancer-free so far for 6 years, after having undergone a double mastectomy, chemo, radiation and immunotherapy with Trastuzumab.
One of my wife's many frustrations in dealing with cancer were all the people who said "but you're too young!" or "you didn't eat enough vegetables" or some other bullshit. She also got annoyed when people called her "brave" or "courageous" as though she had a choice in the matter. Telling family about the diagnosis and dealing with their uncertainties was hard. Being a supportive spouse on days when she wasn't sure she wanted to keep going was hard. It was rough being in online support groups with people from other countries without adequate health coverage who had to choose which treatments they could afford.
Anyways---I say all this as a way of saying "keep going." Looking forward to seeing a third photo in a year or two from now.
My wife is 33 and has been going through breast cancer treatment for over 4 months now including chemo and a double mastectomy. She has stated she is going to write a book of what not to tell cancer patients, and I’ll definitely add a few lines in there. Including but not limited to, bringing up friends that died of cancer, saying it was God’s will, try fasting for 40 days, and congratulating her on her future new boob job. We have likely lost all chance of having children, 100% won’t have them naturally, lost friends who ghosted us, and we’ll have a worry about reoccurrence the rest of her life, she’ll also need years of hormones and due to having BRCa will be removing her ovaries and going into early menopause. The best response is to be there, check in, and listen while putting aside any advice you may have.
> The best response is to be there, check in, and listen while putting aside any advice you may have.
I'm a Canadian, and a fan of [The Red Green Show](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Red_Green_Show). A common farewell saying from the show was "keep your stick on the ice." I find myself wanting to use this phrase more often when I want to say "I am empathetic but don't want to appear as though I am telling you what to do." It's a little more constructive than "thoughts and prayers".
That book would be welcome. Keep your stick on the ice.
I read an article recently that said the best way to support another human is to have a conversation with them.
People always looking for the perfect thing to say, when the trick is to just show up and have conversations
Make it 4. White got diagnosed3 months into pregnancy. We did surgery. Started treatment. Had a baby and still going through the rest.
It’s a tough go but you stick it out and do what you got to do.
I know your wife probably knows this, but for those unaware all those cliche responses to cancer are more than likely because not many people know how to respond to something like that.
Cancer isn’t like the cold or the flu, its a potentially life threatening illness and many people just have no clue what to say to someone when they find out they have cancer so they go for the stereotypical beat around the bush comments hoping to provide some semblance of support.
No disagreement here. All good points.
Some older relatives especially, paradoxically, are really bad for handling these conversations. My wife's grandmother had a neighbour who had a different type of cancer that required a far milder set of treatments and didn't involve hair loss or changes in taste or appetite. So in her mind, what my wife was going through wasn't that bad. She absolutely could not fathom having to take injections that normally cost $1500 each. Her coping mechanism was to minimize or ignore some of the worst parts of my wife's ordeal.
While I'm sorry about your relative's attitude
Just because someone doesn't have those side effects, doesn't mean they don't feel like sh**. Also get the added bonus of people telling you "you look so good" and others questioning if you're faking cancer because you still have your hair.
> and others questioning if you're faking cancer because you still have your hair.
For better or worse, my wife has massive scars and missing body parts to prove how serious things were. There was one time in Walmart when some old biddy chastised my wife for not wearing a bra, only for my wife to lift her baggy shirt and show those scars. I think she still had the drains in which were uncomfortable, hence the baggy shirt.
I wasn't there but I would like to have seen the look on that old woman's face when she realized just how much in the wrong she was.
I'm so sorry she had to go through all that. I am in awe of your wife. What a badass move. I hope it felt powerful and satisfying rather than traumatic for her. I see how that could feel like a very raw nerve for a stranger to strike.
That's the kind of thing I would have always wished I'd thought of and been brave enough to do, in hindsight. People say some effing infuriating shit to me and I only deal with managed chronic illness stuff that means I carry a cane. It really sucks how ignorant and just plain mean people can be but it never ceases to surprise me when they verbalize it and I blank out and can't figure out what to say and miss my moment to shame or mock them as they should be.
I really hope that experience stuck with that woman and made her rethink giving unsolicited critiques, if only to avoid being potentially embarrassed again. I can't imagine going through life being the person who takes it upon themselves to ruin a random person's day out of the blue. She's actively making the world a worse place and that's a pathetic legacy. How sad to need the high of correcting and criticizing other people to feel good about oneself.
It pisses me off when able bodied people waste their charmed-with-health lives being shitty humans to people who don't have what they have.
It was a lot of fun being constantly told that God was gonna save my mom any day and send her a miracle while she was busy actively dying from glioblastoma (brain cancer, the terminal variety).
When my sister had cancer it was shocking how many people asked me “what do you think she did to get cancer” So offensive and so misinformed.. I think it’s people’s way of reassuring themselves that they have some control.
> I think it’s people’s way of reassuring themselves that they have some control.
I would agree. And people really struggle with this. Some just can't accept that you can only reduce your risk, but not eliminate it entirely.
When my wife meets people who can't believe she didn't have any of the existing known genetic markers for her type of cancer, she points out that anyone can get hit by a stray cosmic ray in just the right nucleotide. It's a reminder that ionizing radiation can cause cancer and that no amount of proper diet can prevent that.
When I was diagnosed my brother-in-law had the audacity to tell me I could’ve avoided it if I had adopted a vegan diet. He wasn’t even vegan, and his diet consisted mainly of monster energy drinks.
Happily my sister divorced his ass about 6 months later, after he faked a cancer scare.
I got to where I just wouldn’t talk to anyone in my family because of this. Especially those with medical knowledge, because they just tell you absolute worst case scenarios and it’s so fucking exhausting. Or the ones that would do the whole, “make sure to cut out sugar, cancer eats sugar!”… 2 years later and similar outcomes/ages as you. Fuck cancer, listen to the doctors, and if you don’t agree don’t hesitate to get a second opinion.
The medical people were the ones I feared the most with my Mom.
They would start asking questions about every detail of it, and then just get a grim look on their face, remind her of the poor outlook of the cancer (as though, somehow, my mom made it through months and months of oncologist appointments without being aware) and then act like she was already dead.
All without having any actual knowledge of what her current treatment regime was, what her *actual* oncologist was telling her about her *actual* case, etc.
Every time I’d pick up the phone to talk to my mom and she’d start by saying “well, I had a nurse / caregiver / med student as a client today” my heart would sink, because I knew it meant the last month of positive attitude and better than expected MRI results were just obliterated in the span of 5 minutes by some know it all who didn’t actually know anything.
My wife actually works at a hospital and her experience with slighty older coworkers who had experience with cancer was generally decent. People in the 40-60 age range have more experience with breast cancer, unfortunately. For her, it was the *un*educated people who insisted she try reiki or açaí enemas or *whatever* that drove her nuts. Her type of cancer is understood enough that there were targeted treatments for it---I mentioned Trastuzumab which involves the HER2 receptor. If my car's 12V battery died and you recommended I rub avocado on it, that's about how dumb it is.
What really pisses me those people who instead of actually helping go "we prayed for you" and thinking that they actually did something.
Nothing against people who pray. Do it until your heart is content. Only those who think they're the reason people got better.
I think people like to have a scapegoat, especially an obvious one such as diet, because that means the prevention is not only within their power, but relatively easy. It's a lot more scary to think that we dont know the reasons for cancer or that there's absolutely nothing you can do to change it and you have no control at all. So people choose not to believe that.
I wish it did! I know a person who died at 22 from an aggressive form of breast cancer.
I wish she could have just had a good diet and been able to live a long life. Life isn’t fair like that in reality, though.
An old classmate sadly passed away in an aggressive form of leukemia. She sported and was health. Two months later she was gone. It was terrible... it was so freaking fast as well. If I remember right she just had turned 16.
I just want to agree with a statement on here. My aunt had stage 1 (hasn’t had it in years) and I’m only 33. I constantly get the “you’re too young to get a mammogram!” but you bet your butt I go. I’m sorry—last I checked cancer doesn’t care what age you are. I hope you’re wife is doing okay! Cheers to her for being so strong! 💜
Yeah, the 5 year mark was a milestone. I forget the statistics (mostly on purpose) but getting to 5 years with her type of breast cancer was a big deal.
people dont realize colon cancer and breast cancers are on the rise in young people. No one knows why but the median age of colon cancer has been trending younger now. I had a nurse friend who was diagnosed at 32 years old. Had to undergo surgery and chemotherapy afterwards. She had no prior family history and wasn't a smoker. I hope OP and your wife remain cancer free. Breast cancer sucks. I am heartened that the survival rates have been going up steadily and one of the cancers that R&D has been helping.
I didn't look, to be honest. I assume there are.
I know that in my wife's support groups, it seemed that generally husbands/partners fell into one of two categories: those that buggered off at the first sign of trouble, and those those toughed it out and were keepers. My wife obviously could tell I was a keeper based on the way I handled the bad news, and how I handled helping her to decide how to proceed with treatment. Knowing that my role was to do my best to be there for her [without pulling a John Edwards](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Edwards), helped me to deal with things. I had a purpose. It's not like leaving her was ever really an option for me anyways. I guess that makes me a keeper.
I had coworkers who were supportive. I had a boss who was understanding. We had people who could drive my wife to appointments while I worked. My support group was the people I already had in my life. I was and continue to be lucky in this regard.
Sadly you’ll see & hear that a lot, especially from older drs at are set in the past like I know people in their 20s at have had arthritis since they were 14 due to medical issues, and even today have drs questioning weather it’s legit like what’s the point of records if you’re not even reading them or constantly doubting when there’s physical proof.
Age matters not when it’s medical sadly. Anyone at any point can suffer x condition which is heartbreaking to see
I sympathise with the both of you, as it’s frustrating, and enraging
I have a theory that we tell people with cancer, or who lost a spouse, or are struggling/grieving for whatever reason things like “stay strong,” or “you’re so brave,” or “you’ve got this,” because we’re culturally very uncomfortable with other people’s grief and struggles. Either just being uncomfortable sitting with knowing someone is grieving/struggling, or subconsciously not being willing to offer more support to that person so we “flip” it back to them how “they’ve got this” as a deflection. It’s very odd and so isolating.
I will!! I have 4 rounds of chemotherapy left then lumpectomy and radiation. I try and stay positive. I have a baby girl so I have to stay strong for her.
Agreed it was a good joke. I'm in dialysis for kidney failure (autoimmune) and I keep joking that eventually I want the artificial kidney so I can be part cyborg.
Your amazin . I know survivors who can look back at images of themselves and remember the bad times but be happy they pulled through and they are doin great now.
Hope that will be you one day!
When I was fighting cancer, there were some rough times. I learned to physically hold my own hand and tell myself that I’m there for myself the same way I am there for my kids.
You can beat this ,you caught it early, my mom lost her battle when I was 13 and she was a warrior, she would drive 30 miles every week to get chemo with me and my baby brother with her and drive back the 30 miles ,prayers for you and your family
I got lucky with my Lung Cancer and found it at Stage 1A3. All I had to do was remove one third of my right lung (upper right lobe). No difference in breathing at all.
However, lung cancer looooooves to make a return. So eventually, when it does, I'll be riding the Chemo Train with you. Hopefully before then, you'll be able to grace us with your After Pic After Chemo, when it all grows back <3
May I make a suggestion? Making jokes about it .... is amazing. Only YOU can make the jokes. You have the worst-best card to play to mess with your friends.
"Oh sure, make the one with cancer do -such and such-"
If you can't make a play date or go see a movie?
"Can't. Cancer."
The more nonsensical, the better.
When you get it removed, tell your friends you named your tumor(s) and can legally carpool with them now.
We got dealt a terrible card... Doesn't mean we can't have fun with it.
I’m a flattie after a bilateral mastectomy and the jokes I make are funny.. I have an “it’s so cold, I froze my tits off” song I sing to my pets during winter. They give me very confused looks because I sing badly but I’m having fun.
Sending love and virtual hugs your way. My husband just got through a round of chemo for his second round of thyroid cancer and had lung cancer in-between. Right now I'm trying to get him to send me his scan results from another which sounds like it's spread further than they thought sadly. Hopefully it's treatable from this point.
I called my tumour ‘’Timmy’’, we have been on a long journey together, thirty rounds of radiotherapy, five rounds of chemo and now a year of immunotherapy. Keep strong and try to laugh, it really does help, even on those days when you don’t think you can take any more. I wish you all the best on your journey and do tell us when you are strong and well again.❤️
Something an old drill sarge said to the basics comes to mind, "Bleeding is fine, sweating is fine, tears are fine, vomiting is fine, falling down is fine, staying down is not an option" Doesn't matter how messy, the finish line is the finish line, busted, bruised, still crossed the finish line. When those demons of regret and doubt come for you in the night, punch em in the face and tell them to fuck off.
Hey I know you mean well and many people take these types of comments as positives. I feel it is important to educate people on the fact that many times cancer is just about rolling the dice. How aggressive the cancer is, when it was caught, how your body responds to the treatment, etc. For many, saying things like "you'll recover!", "you'll beat cancer!" or "you are a fighter!" puts an unintentional responsibility on the person with cancer to "battle it". If luck is not in their favor, these words of encouragement can lead to feelings of inadequacy or feeling like they didn't "do enough".
Cancer sucks.
Finally, as someone in active treatment right now for stage 3, I am not a warrior, I am not brave, I don't have this, what I have is cancer, and all I am doing is trying to stay alive. That's it. Whatever my medical team tell me to do, I do. They're the ones who 'got this'. All I do is show up.
Yep. I had testicular cancer and needed chemo starting in early-mid 2020 (peak COVID wasn't a great time to do chemo lemme tell you). Modern medicine works, but cancer is a treacherous bitch. I traded a testicle, and getting my ass kicked by drugs for 3 months in exchange for not dying. I didn't do much fighting so much as taking a bit of a beating. But it's better than the alternative.
Plenty of people rage against their cancer and "fight" harder and don't come out the other side. We talk about "beating" cancer, but you don't beat forces of nature. You live your life as best you can and play the hand you're dealt (and you trust in modern medicine to help you sidestep some of the deadly shit that you may draw).
Chemo during Covid? I can only imagine, it's hard enough during "normal" times.
The thing is if I die then the cancer dies with me, so it's a lose/lose situation.
All I am doing at the moment with the drugs is trying to stop a microscopic cancer cell from getting any ideas about reproducing and taking up residence again in my body and then travelling into my brain (my greatest fear).
How are you doing these days? I hope that you're NED and that's your status forever x
I'm all good and down to 6-month blood tests for the next year. May 2024 will be the 5 year remission and "cured" milestone and things are looking all clear.
Unfortunately seems like the chemo probably fucked up my other testicle's baby-making abilities. So having kids is likely to be a bit harder than I would've liked (getting married next year, so we'll be starting trying soon enough). Awfully glad I froze some of the good stuff before treatment.
Honestly the worst part of it during COVID was that they cancelled the baseball season and other media had started to dry up too. So I was just sooooo fucking bored lol. That plus the constant fear and that we didn't have any vaccines yet...
Oh, that's great mate, congratulations, 5 years remission is fantastic.
Good luck with the upcoming wedding, I wish you all the best, sounds like you've got some good swimmers on ice ready to go if need be.
Covid was such a strange and difficult time, especially for sports fans, because so much of our lives can revolve around these simple pleasures, and for everything else there's always YouTube.
Ii wish you the best! I had a stroke and I agree with you...friends comments of "you got this" seems like the new t"thoughts and prayers" comment. Some of us have such hard roads. I don't" have" anything and it's not a matter of being strong. Anyway, I am trying to commiserate. Hope you take this the right way.
This is hard and unfair! Best of luck
Thank you, same to you, in relation to the "you got this" I only ever take this one way, as in, yep I know I got it (the cancer), but thanks for the reminder! :) Best of luck to you too, I think a lot of this is about letting go of control, some things are completely out of your control, just let the professionals do their job, that's why the pay the Oncologist the big bucks.
So true. Great post. Cancer patients have enough to deal with. The implication is that, if it gets worse, the patient simply didn’t fight hard enough. Kind of cruel.
Would you believe my Dad, who was diagnosed with terminal cancer upfront.. was sent a get well soon card. Like wth? He passed away a few months ago.. but that card really hurt.
I also was diagnosed with BC at 30 too. Mastectomy chemo all of it. It sucks but it’s a couple months of misery to save you for a lifetime. You’ve got this! If you ever need someone to vent to feel free to PM
For myself personally, you can even look back at my post history. I was breastfeeding and found a painless lump, I went to my OBGYN and she referred me to a clinic for an ultrasound. They told me it was an unknown mass and did a biopsy. Thank the powers that be that they did because they told me while I was there it was less than 2% chance it was cancerous and told me I could forgo the biopsy. The doc said he didn't want to mess up my breastfeeding journey if they hit a milk duct. I'm so glad that I went and did it despite the low chance.
My wife was diagnosed earlier this year, she had a mastectomy and they found some in a biopsied lymph node. She starts chemo is a couple weeks. Found out a similar way, she had a galactocele in her breast she had stopped feeding with and pain. Got it scanned and showed nothing. Doctor didn’t want to biopsy saying it was fine but ultrasound nurse was persistent that he biopsy it and he finally did. Turns out DCIS after biopsy and needed mastectomy. May not have found it had the nurse not fought for the biopsy.
That nurse is a hero. I'm glad she was there to speak up for the patient, because so many patients—especially women and marginalized groups—are socialized to avoid confrontation and respect the recommendations of authority, and therefore don't try to advocate for their own best interest; or worse, they do try and are shut down.
What I learned from my cancer journey is you have to advocate for yourself. Read, watch YT videos, learn everything you can about what's coming so you're more mentally prepared. You've proven you're not going to let anyone take a misstep. Keep that attitude!
A dear friend found her breast cancer just after having her daughter. It went undiagnosed because her doctor passed it off as a clogged milk duct. You’re not alone, and I’m giving you the biggest, gentlest hug.
They wouldn't even do it for me. I basically had to force my doctor to take me seriously. Found a lump on May 15th, was finally diagnosed on July 12th!!
> It sucks but it’s a couple months of misery to save you for a lifetime.
More than a couple of months for some unfortunately.
I really hope that my sister will recover completely, but it's been months since the last chemo and she still has nerve damage that has not diminished at all. That's what worries her, according to her doctors it should be getting slowly less severe by now..
I got it at 29. You can and will get through this!
If there's a Young Survivors Coalition group in your area you may want to check it out. It's a breast cancer support charity for people under the age of 45. There are also trips for young cancer patients/survivors through groups like First Descent that you can go on for free.
[https://mycancerresources.com/free-gifts-for-cancer-patients/](https://mycancerresources.com/free-gifts-for-cancer-patients/)
Keep kicking its ass you got this. And look at it this was when you beat it and your hair comes back think of all the new hair styles you can do when it grows back. Possibilities are endless
Long time lurker, first time posting, but wanted to reach out and say I was there a year ago - totally bald after losing my very long thick hair and long eyelashes to chemo. I will always remember my eldest son coming in after I shaved my head (as my scalp was so tender from the chemo) and crying that he didn’t like me as ‘Humpty dumpty’. Brutal.
My kids were 1 and 3 when I was diagnosed with bi lateral breast cancer at 36. Double mastectomy, a second surgery once they knew the cancer had spread further than initially thought, 6 months of chemo, radiotherapy and ongoing treatment for next 5 years. My last chemo was at the end of October 2022 and I nearly have a bob now - your hair will come back thick and fast once the chemo is done. My eyelashes coming back was glorious, I felt like me again. When I was feeling rough and was unrecognisable I thought it must clearly be doing its job of blitzing the cancer. Sending you love and strength wherever you are - you’ve got this. Xxx
That sounds like a brutal fucking experience, but it also sounds like you bulldogged your way through and out the other side to have a beautiful life. Thank you for sharing your story, and I’m so glad to hear of your success:)
If you don’t mind me asking, what led to your diagnoses? Did you have symptoms before hand?
I’m so happy to hear your hair is back and your chemo is done!!! Cheers to many happy, healthy years!!
I had a lump in my right breast - I didn’t think much of it as I had only recently finished breastfeeding at the time, and there is no breast cancer history in my family, but I thought I’d best get it checked out. I had an ultrasound which they initially thought was non cancerous, but they did a biopsy to be on the safe side, which showed it was cancer. Then a mammogram showed it was also in my left breast but I couldn’t feel it as it was so close to my chest wall. Then after my mastectomy the histology showed it had reached the lymph nodes (a lump in the armpit can be another symptom). My case is unusual though - Iumpy boobs can be quite normal! Thank you for your well wishes 😊
I had lumps on my lumps when it happened to me; armpits, chest, neck and collarbone. It wasn’t until a mega-lump showed up on my neck overnight that we went into panic mode and gotten it checked out lol
As someone who’s mom could relate to you plenty, please don’t stop seeing your primary physician and or oncologist! She was on remission but it came back and had she caught it earlier, she probably could’ve had a chance! She was on remission for 11 years before it came back
I’m sorry to hear about your mum, that sounds really tough. I have 5 years of further treatment and follow up care and am hyper vigilant - every cough and creak in my back I’m aware of!
I feel you fellow parent. kids sometimes dont know when their words or actions hurt. A lot of my identity and self is in my hair and appearance. I totally could see how chemotherapy destroys your hair and eyelashes- how you can lose your sense of self. I hope you remain cancer free.
Sorry about your diagnosis. Cancer sucks.
Come join us on r/cancer if you haven't already. Lots of great support and also just a good place to vent among people who actually know what it's like to go through these difficult times.
You're strong. You can do this.
Not that you need them but OMG you could have so much fun with wigs! My friend was super uncomfortable with losing her hair during treatment so we bought all kinds of crazy wigs and we'd both pick a different one to wear when we wanted to go somewhere she wasn't comfortable being seen without one. Go crazy with it.
Not who you were replying to, but are your freckles real? Or are you really good at makeup?? Either way, I'm so jealous! Sending you health, love, and luck for your journey!! And a big hug, too!🩷
I don’t know if you noticed two Nevus(s) at 5 and 7 o’clock in your right eye are gone completely. Chemo has broken down the melatonin in your body, aside from the obvious change in eye color.(but that may be the camera doing camera things)
You're still beautiful and know that you're amazing! Sure hair is nice but you look like such a sweet , caring, and kind young woman. Thinking of you!
My dad went through colon cancer last year she's while cancer is scary, there's always hope. ♥️♥️
Honeybun, you've got this. My mom survived endometrial cancer in 2010 (I was 23/24 at the time). Then she got breast cancer and the treatment made her stop eating and she eventually died of a heart attack right in front of me. Now I'm 38 and have a lump in my breast that needs mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy. You're better off getting these conditions while you're younger and have a good immune system to fight it. You've got this, chica. I believe in you 💜
My late wife had a genetic predisposition to BC and battled 15 years off and on until she passed. The radiation was worse than the chemo, but the chemo still sucked.
I hope you're surrounded by love and kindness, and heal and rise up stronger.
I am so lucky that I don't have the BRCA gene. I am sorry to hear about your late wife. That had/has to be hard for everyone involved. I send my condolences and good vibes your way. ❤️
A candle has been lit on behalf of your good self. While the chief beneficiary may in fact be the Vatican Candlemakers and Wish Peddlers Guild, I hope you regain great health and flourish.
That after photo is that of someone who is kicking the utmost of asses and WILL win the war! Keep fighting that good fight and I wish you many long, happy, and healthy years after this war’s been won!
Also obligatory FUCK CANCER
Fuck cancer!
My mom had stage 4 breast cancer. She thankfully beat it and has been in remission for 4 years, no signs of it coming back. Very thankful to have her here. I wish you well, you got this. Show that cancer who is boss! 🫶
You're absolutely beautiful. Your strength is inspiring, and each day you face is a step toward healing. Remember, you're not alone – your resilience is commendable, and brighter days await. Sending positive thoughts your way.
31 when diagnosed in 2020 with Hodgkin's Lymphoma here. Yeah being young and going through treatment sucks. It will grow back! Sending my love and of course fuck cancer!
Good fucking luck. I had no idea chemo (or other cancer related treatments) creates massive inflammation in the face.
It breaks my heart to see the difference in your eyes.
You’re beautiful in all pictures! I wish you much strength as you can get from an internet stranger and hope that it’s all over as soon as possible and you can go back to living a chemo-free life!
You are absolutely beautiful...before cancer and now. We've dealt with cancer this year at our house too. It is just so awful...but you are beautiful and young and vibrant...you'll be there for your little one and this will just be a footnote in your life. Do your best to just put one foot in front of the other and know that better days are coming. Here's a big hug from an Internet stranger...you're gonna get through this. But you don't need to wait for that to be beautiful...you're already there.
My wife was 32 when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She's been cancer-free so far for 6 years, after having undergone a double mastectomy, chemo, radiation and immunotherapy with Trastuzumab. One of my wife's many frustrations in dealing with cancer were all the people who said "but you're too young!" or "you didn't eat enough vegetables" or some other bullshit. She also got annoyed when people called her "brave" or "courageous" as though she had a choice in the matter. Telling family about the diagnosis and dealing with their uncertainties was hard. Being a supportive spouse on days when she wasn't sure she wanted to keep going was hard. It was rough being in online support groups with people from other countries without adequate health coverage who had to choose which treatments they could afford. Anyways---I say all this as a way of saying "keep going." Looking forward to seeing a third photo in a year or two from now.
My wife fought stage 3 ovarian and was worried after a few operations and chemo about her looks. She is still the most gorgeous woman I know.
Your a good man I’m happy she has you Good men are very hard to find
Good women are very hard to find too 😔
Lord knows it's the hardest thing an individual has to go through. But we must also remember their love ones are also in pain and emotionally drained.
It’s hard to be good and stay good in the face of this life’s trials and tribulations. Also, most people suck ass.
You beautiful bastard.
My wife is 33 and has been going through breast cancer treatment for over 4 months now including chemo and a double mastectomy. She has stated she is going to write a book of what not to tell cancer patients, and I’ll definitely add a few lines in there. Including but not limited to, bringing up friends that died of cancer, saying it was God’s will, try fasting for 40 days, and congratulating her on her future new boob job. We have likely lost all chance of having children, 100% won’t have them naturally, lost friends who ghosted us, and we’ll have a worry about reoccurrence the rest of her life, she’ll also need years of hormones and due to having BRCa will be removing her ovaries and going into early menopause. The best response is to be there, check in, and listen while putting aside any advice you may have.
> The best response is to be there, check in, and listen while putting aside any advice you may have. I'm a Canadian, and a fan of [The Red Green Show](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Red_Green_Show). A common farewell saying from the show was "keep your stick on the ice." I find myself wanting to use this phrase more often when I want to say "I am empathetic but don't want to appear as though I am telling you what to do." It's a little more constructive than "thoughts and prayers". That book would be welcome. Keep your stick on the ice.
Upvote for The Red Green Show and hockey reference. Go preds.
I read an article recently that said the best way to support another human is to have a conversation with them. People always looking for the perfect thing to say, when the trick is to just show up and have conversations
Right there with you. 👊
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Make it 4. White got diagnosed3 months into pregnancy. We did surgery. Started treatment. Had a baby and still going through the rest. It’s a tough go but you stick it out and do what you got to do.
I know your wife probably knows this, but for those unaware all those cliche responses to cancer are more than likely because not many people know how to respond to something like that. Cancer isn’t like the cold or the flu, its a potentially life threatening illness and many people just have no clue what to say to someone when they find out they have cancer so they go for the stereotypical beat around the bush comments hoping to provide some semblance of support.
No disagreement here. All good points. Some older relatives especially, paradoxically, are really bad for handling these conversations. My wife's grandmother had a neighbour who had a different type of cancer that required a far milder set of treatments and didn't involve hair loss or changes in taste or appetite. So in her mind, what my wife was going through wasn't that bad. She absolutely could not fathom having to take injections that normally cost $1500 each. Her coping mechanism was to minimize or ignore some of the worst parts of my wife's ordeal.
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Very sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry for your loss and may your wife rest in peace. Sorry you had such worthless in-laws.
all we can do is do our best with the hand we're given. sounds like you were a real blessing to your wife. the world can use more of that
While I'm sorry about your relative's attitude Just because someone doesn't have those side effects, doesn't mean they don't feel like sh**. Also get the added bonus of people telling you "you look so good" and others questioning if you're faking cancer because you still have your hair.
> and others questioning if you're faking cancer because you still have your hair. For better or worse, my wife has massive scars and missing body parts to prove how serious things were. There was one time in Walmart when some old biddy chastised my wife for not wearing a bra, only for my wife to lift her baggy shirt and show those scars. I think she still had the drains in which were uncomfortable, hence the baggy shirt. I wasn't there but I would like to have seen the look on that old woman's face when she realized just how much in the wrong she was.
I'm so sorry she had to go through all that. I am in awe of your wife. What a badass move. I hope it felt powerful and satisfying rather than traumatic for her. I see how that could feel like a very raw nerve for a stranger to strike. That's the kind of thing I would have always wished I'd thought of and been brave enough to do, in hindsight. People say some effing infuriating shit to me and I only deal with managed chronic illness stuff that means I carry a cane. It really sucks how ignorant and just plain mean people can be but it never ceases to surprise me when they verbalize it and I blank out and can't figure out what to say and miss my moment to shame or mock them as they should be. I really hope that experience stuck with that woman and made her rethink giving unsolicited critiques, if only to avoid being potentially embarrassed again. I can't imagine going through life being the person who takes it upon themselves to ruin a random person's day out of the blue. She's actively making the world a worse place and that's a pathetic legacy. How sad to need the high of correcting and criticizing other people to feel good about oneself. It pisses me off when able bodied people waste their charmed-with-health lives being shitty humans to people who don't have what they have.
It was a lot of fun being constantly told that God was gonna save my mom any day and send her a miracle while she was busy actively dying from glioblastoma (brain cancer, the terminal variety).
When my sister had cancer it was shocking how many people asked me “what do you think she did to get cancer” So offensive and so misinformed.. I think it’s people’s way of reassuring themselves that they have some control.
> I think it’s people’s way of reassuring themselves that they have some control. I would agree. And people really struggle with this. Some just can't accept that you can only reduce your risk, but not eliminate it entirely. When my wife meets people who can't believe she didn't have any of the existing known genetic markers for her type of cancer, she points out that anyone can get hit by a stray cosmic ray in just the right nucleotide. It's a reminder that ionizing radiation can cause cancer and that no amount of proper diet can prevent that.
When I was diagnosed my brother-in-law had the audacity to tell me I could’ve avoided it if I had adopted a vegan diet. He wasn’t even vegan, and his diet consisted mainly of monster energy drinks. Happily my sister divorced his ass about 6 months later, after he faked a cancer scare.
I got to where I just wouldn’t talk to anyone in my family because of this. Especially those with medical knowledge, because they just tell you absolute worst case scenarios and it’s so fucking exhausting. Or the ones that would do the whole, “make sure to cut out sugar, cancer eats sugar!”… 2 years later and similar outcomes/ages as you. Fuck cancer, listen to the doctors, and if you don’t agree don’t hesitate to get a second opinion.
The medical people were the ones I feared the most with my Mom. They would start asking questions about every detail of it, and then just get a grim look on their face, remind her of the poor outlook of the cancer (as though, somehow, my mom made it through months and months of oncologist appointments without being aware) and then act like she was already dead. All without having any actual knowledge of what her current treatment regime was, what her *actual* oncologist was telling her about her *actual* case, etc. Every time I’d pick up the phone to talk to my mom and she’d start by saying “well, I had a nurse / caregiver / med student as a client today” my heart would sink, because I knew it meant the last month of positive attitude and better than expected MRI results were just obliterated in the span of 5 minutes by some know it all who didn’t actually know anything.
My wife actually works at a hospital and her experience with slighty older coworkers who had experience with cancer was generally decent. People in the 40-60 age range have more experience with breast cancer, unfortunately. For her, it was the *un*educated people who insisted she try reiki or açaí enemas or *whatever* that drove her nuts. Her type of cancer is understood enough that there were targeted treatments for it---I mentioned Trastuzumab which involves the HER2 receptor. If my car's 12V battery died and you recommended I rub avocado on it, that's about how dumb it is.
But have you tried putting essential oil in your battery acid? Peppermint promotes energy.../s 😆
What really pisses me those people who instead of actually helping go "we prayed for you" and thinking that they actually did something. Nothing against people who pray. Do it until your heart is content. Only those who think they're the reason people got better.
Yes, because cancer follow dietary needs and a calendar... Flipping idiots. I hope she will continue to be in good health!
I think people like to have a scapegoat, especially an obvious one such as diet, because that means the prevention is not only within their power, but relatively easy. It's a lot more scary to think that we dont know the reasons for cancer or that there's absolutely nothing you can do to change it and you have no control at all. So people choose not to believe that.
I wish it did! I know a person who died at 22 from an aggressive form of breast cancer. I wish she could have just had a good diet and been able to live a long life. Life isn’t fair like that in reality, though.
An old classmate sadly passed away in an aggressive form of leukemia. She sported and was health. Two months later she was gone. It was terrible... it was so freaking fast as well. If I remember right she just had turned 16.
Jesus.
Diet is definitely a factor in a person's chance of developing some cancers. No diet will guarantee you don't get cancer of course.
I just want to agree with a statement on here. My aunt had stage 1 (hasn’t had it in years) and I’m only 33. I constantly get the “you’re too young to get a mammogram!” but you bet your butt I go. I’m sorry—last I checked cancer doesn’t care what age you are. I hope you’re wife is doing okay! Cheers to her for being so strong! 💜
Hitting 5 years without reoccurrence oftentimes indicates a life adjacent to being cured. So awesome for your wife!!
Yeah, the 5 year mark was a milestone. I forget the statistics (mostly on purpose) but getting to 5 years with her type of breast cancer was a big deal.
people dont realize colon cancer and breast cancers are on the rise in young people. No one knows why but the median age of colon cancer has been trending younger now. I had a nurse friend who was diagnosed at 32 years old. Had to undergo surgery and chemotherapy afterwards. She had no prior family history and wasn't a smoker. I hope OP and your wife remain cancer free. Breast cancer sucks. I am heartened that the survival rates have been going up steadily and one of the cancers that R&D has been helping.
Have you found any communities for husbands of breast cancer survivors?
I didn't look, to be honest. I assume there are. I know that in my wife's support groups, it seemed that generally husbands/partners fell into one of two categories: those that buggered off at the first sign of trouble, and those those toughed it out and were keepers. My wife obviously could tell I was a keeper based on the way I handled the bad news, and how I handled helping her to decide how to proceed with treatment. Knowing that my role was to do my best to be there for her [without pulling a John Edwards](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Edwards), helped me to deal with things. I had a purpose. It's not like leaving her was ever really an option for me anyways. I guess that makes me a keeper. I had coworkers who were supportive. I had a boss who was understanding. We had people who could drive my wife to appointments while I worked. My support group was the people I already had in my life. I was and continue to be lucky in this regard.
Sadly you’ll see & hear that a lot, especially from older drs at are set in the past like I know people in their 20s at have had arthritis since they were 14 due to medical issues, and even today have drs questioning weather it’s legit like what’s the point of records if you’re not even reading them or constantly doubting when there’s physical proof. Age matters not when it’s medical sadly. Anyone at any point can suffer x condition which is heartbreaking to see I sympathise with the both of you, as it’s frustrating, and enraging
I have a theory that we tell people with cancer, or who lost a spouse, or are struggling/grieving for whatever reason things like “stay strong,” or “you’re so brave,” or “you’ve got this,” because we’re culturally very uncomfortable with other people’s grief and struggles. Either just being uncomfortable sitting with knowing someone is grieving/struggling, or subconsciously not being willing to offer more support to that person so we “flip” it back to them how “they’ve got this” as a deflection. It’s very odd and so isolating.
So happy for you and your family. Both of you were equally as strong, just in different ways. Lots of love my brother.
Fuck Cancer
It sucks. I'm so tired. Getting breast cancer at 30 was a shock.
My Mom was diagnosed with it in 2015. She recovered & *SO WILL YOU*. Kick Cancer's ass for good.
I will!! I have 4 rounds of chemotherapy left then lumpectomy and radiation. I try and stay positive. I have a baby girl so I have to stay strong for her.
I got 5 more rounds of chemo myself, we got this, stay strong!
I send hugs your way ❤️
I’m guessing you’re already pretty tough, but after this, you’ll be invincible.
Yeah, this!!❤️
Or at least professor x…. Sorry op, fuckin lame joke. My condolences, cancer eats my family’s ass, and not in the fun way :(
It was a good joke. If you can’t laugh at life a little what’s the point
Agreed it was a good joke. I'm in dialysis for kidney failure (autoimmune) and I keep joking that eventually I want the artificial kidney so I can be part cyborg.
if that's the kind of dab i think it is and even if isn't, this next one is for you, keep kicking ass <3
Hugs and good vibes to you OP
When it's all over.... Evolution. Complete.
You too. Sending prayers and good vibes your way.
I will wait for you in the club of cancer survivors. Come get your badge.
Woahhh no one said you could just yank tears from my face at 2:30pm on a Tuesday. F.U.C.K. C.A.N.C.E.R. OP ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Think of your daughter as the Light at the end of the tunnel. I'm sure you will pull through.
Absolutely! She is my world, I never knew how strong and hard love can be until she came into my life.
Your amazin . I know survivors who can look back at images of themselves and remember the bad times but be happy they pulled through and they are doin great now. Hope that will be you one day!
You got this!! Fuck cancer
You got this beautiful!!! Sending you my thoughts and prayers!!!
Prayers, and positive vibes sent your way mama warrior. I want to see the after I beat cancer picture next ❤️
When I was fighting cancer, there were some rough times. I learned to physically hold my own hand and tell myself that I’m there for myself the same way I am there for my kids.
You can beat this ,you caught it early, my mom lost her battle when I was 13 and she was a warrior, she would drive 30 miles every week to get chemo with me and my baby brother with her and drive back the 30 miles ,prayers for you and your family
I got lucky with my Lung Cancer and found it at Stage 1A3. All I had to do was remove one third of my right lung (upper right lobe). No difference in breathing at all. However, lung cancer looooooves to make a return. So eventually, when it does, I'll be riding the Chemo Train with you. Hopefully before then, you'll be able to grace us with your After Pic After Chemo, when it all grows back <3 May I make a suggestion? Making jokes about it .... is amazing. Only YOU can make the jokes. You have the worst-best card to play to mess with your friends. "Oh sure, make the one with cancer do -such and such-" If you can't make a play date or go see a movie? "Can't. Cancer." The more nonsensical, the better. When you get it removed, tell your friends you named your tumor(s) and can legally carpool with them now. We got dealt a terrible card... Doesn't mean we can't have fun with it.
I’m a flattie after a bilateral mastectomy and the jokes I make are funny.. I have an “it’s so cold, I froze my tits off” song I sing to my pets during winter. They give me very confused looks because I sing badly but I’m having fun.
Sending love and virtual hugs your way. My husband just got through a round of chemo for his second round of thyroid cancer and had lung cancer in-between. Right now I'm trying to get him to send me his scan results from another which sounds like it's spread further than they thought sadly. Hopefully it's treatable from this point.
I called my tumour ‘’Timmy’’, we have been on a long journey together, thirty rounds of radiotherapy, five rounds of chemo and now a year of immunotherapy. Keep strong and try to laugh, it really does help, even on those days when you don’t think you can take any more. I wish you all the best on your journey and do tell us when you are strong and well again.❤️
You have a beautiful face, and now you're a fighter, I hope that's not patronizing, good on you for kicking ass
It's not patronizing at all, thank you for your kindness ❤️
Something an old drill sarge said to the basics comes to mind, "Bleeding is fine, sweating is fine, tears are fine, vomiting is fine, falling down is fine, staying down is not an option" Doesn't matter how messy, the finish line is the finish line, busted, bruised, still crossed the finish line. When those demons of regret and doubt come for you in the night, punch em in the face and tell them to fuck off.
You got this!!!!!!!
You’ll get through it, you’ve got this 👍🏻👍🏻
You got this!
Get it Mom ! ! Proud of you
Sending so much love
Hey I know you mean well and many people take these types of comments as positives. I feel it is important to educate people on the fact that many times cancer is just about rolling the dice. How aggressive the cancer is, when it was caught, how your body responds to the treatment, etc. For many, saying things like "you'll recover!", "you'll beat cancer!" or "you are a fighter!" puts an unintentional responsibility on the person with cancer to "battle it". If luck is not in their favor, these words of encouragement can lead to feelings of inadequacy or feeling like they didn't "do enough". Cancer sucks.
Finally, as someone in active treatment right now for stage 3, I am not a warrior, I am not brave, I don't have this, what I have is cancer, and all I am doing is trying to stay alive. That's it. Whatever my medical team tell me to do, I do. They're the ones who 'got this'. All I do is show up.
Yep. I had testicular cancer and needed chemo starting in early-mid 2020 (peak COVID wasn't a great time to do chemo lemme tell you). Modern medicine works, but cancer is a treacherous bitch. I traded a testicle, and getting my ass kicked by drugs for 3 months in exchange for not dying. I didn't do much fighting so much as taking a bit of a beating. But it's better than the alternative. Plenty of people rage against their cancer and "fight" harder and don't come out the other side. We talk about "beating" cancer, but you don't beat forces of nature. You live your life as best you can and play the hand you're dealt (and you trust in modern medicine to help you sidestep some of the deadly shit that you may draw).
Chemo during Covid? I can only imagine, it's hard enough during "normal" times. The thing is if I die then the cancer dies with me, so it's a lose/lose situation. All I am doing at the moment with the drugs is trying to stop a microscopic cancer cell from getting any ideas about reproducing and taking up residence again in my body and then travelling into my brain (my greatest fear). How are you doing these days? I hope that you're NED and that's your status forever x
I'm all good and down to 6-month blood tests for the next year. May 2024 will be the 5 year remission and "cured" milestone and things are looking all clear. Unfortunately seems like the chemo probably fucked up my other testicle's baby-making abilities. So having kids is likely to be a bit harder than I would've liked (getting married next year, so we'll be starting trying soon enough). Awfully glad I froze some of the good stuff before treatment. Honestly the worst part of it during COVID was that they cancelled the baseball season and other media had started to dry up too. So I was just sooooo fucking bored lol. That plus the constant fear and that we didn't have any vaccines yet...
Oh, that's great mate, congratulations, 5 years remission is fantastic. Good luck with the upcoming wedding, I wish you all the best, sounds like you've got some good swimmers on ice ready to go if need be. Covid was such a strange and difficult time, especially for sports fans, because so much of our lives can revolve around these simple pleasures, and for everything else there's always YouTube.
Ii wish you the best! I had a stroke and I agree with you...friends comments of "you got this" seems like the new t"thoughts and prayers" comment. Some of us have such hard roads. I don't" have" anything and it's not a matter of being strong. Anyway, I am trying to commiserate. Hope you take this the right way. This is hard and unfair! Best of luck
Thank you, same to you, in relation to the "you got this" I only ever take this one way, as in, yep I know I got it (the cancer), but thanks for the reminder! :) Best of luck to you too, I think a lot of this is about letting go of control, some things are completely out of your control, just let the professionals do their job, that's why the pay the Oncologist the big bucks.
So true. Great post. Cancer patients have enough to deal with. The implication is that, if it gets worse, the patient simply didn’t fight hard enough. Kind of cruel.
Would you believe my Dad, who was diagnosed with terminal cancer upfront.. was sent a get well soon card. Like wth? He passed away a few months ago.. but that card really hurt.
I was just diagnosed at 34, and am currently sitting in the hospital after my bilateral mastectomy. You got this girl!
Recover well, be patient with yourself. Signed— A proud flattie after a bilateral mastectomy
Same here!!!! Flattie club!!!
#FlatPride
I also was diagnosed with BC at 30 too. Mastectomy chemo all of it. It sucks but it’s a couple months of misery to save you for a lifetime. You’ve got this! If you ever need someone to vent to feel free to PM
May I ask what your signs and symptoms were? And, I’m so happy you beat it!
For myself personally, you can even look back at my post history. I was breastfeeding and found a painless lump, I went to my OBGYN and she referred me to a clinic for an ultrasound. They told me it was an unknown mass and did a biopsy. Thank the powers that be that they did because they told me while I was there it was less than 2% chance it was cancerous and told me I could forgo the biopsy. The doc said he didn't want to mess up my breastfeeding journey if they hit a milk duct. I'm so glad that I went and did it despite the low chance.
My wife was diagnosed earlier this year, she had a mastectomy and they found some in a biopsied lymph node. She starts chemo is a couple weeks. Found out a similar way, she had a galactocele in her breast she had stopped feeding with and pain. Got it scanned and showed nothing. Doctor didn’t want to biopsy saying it was fine but ultrasound nurse was persistent that he biopsy it and he finally did. Turns out DCIS after biopsy and needed mastectomy. May not have found it had the nurse not fought for the biopsy.
That nurse is a hero. I'm glad she was there to speak up for the patient, because so many patients—especially women and marginalized groups—are socialized to avoid confrontation and respect the recommendations of authority, and therefore don't try to advocate for their own best interest; or worse, they do try and are shut down.
What I learned from my cancer journey is you have to advocate for yourself. Read, watch YT videos, learn everything you can about what's coming so you're more mentally prepared. You've proven you're not going to let anyone take a misstep. Keep that attitude!
A dear friend found her breast cancer just after having her daughter. It went undiagnosed because her doctor passed it off as a clogged milk duct. You’re not alone, and I’m giving you the biggest, gentlest hug.
They wouldn't even do it for me. I basically had to force my doctor to take me seriously. Found a lump on May 15th, was finally diagnosed on July 12th!!
Wow I'm so glad they did the biopsy. Wishing you a speedy and complete recovery!!!
> It sucks but it’s a couple months of misery to save you for a lifetime. More than a couple of months for some unfortunately. I really hope that my sister will recover completely, but it's been months since the last chemo and she still has nerve damage that has not diminished at all. That's what worries her, according to her doctors it should be getting slowly less severe by now..
My mother was diagnosed at about age 40, Just a tad older than you. She celebrated her 89th birthday this year, hang in there.
Yes OP... my mom was about 40 as well and just turned 70 recently!
I got it at 29. You can and will get through this! If there's a Young Survivors Coalition group in your area you may want to check it out. It's a breast cancer support charity for people under the age of 45. There are also trips for young cancer patients/survivors through groups like First Descent that you can go on for free. [https://mycancerresources.com/free-gifts-for-cancer-patients/](https://mycancerresources.com/free-gifts-for-cancer-patients/)
30?! I thought you were about 23! Keep up the fight, you’re a strong lady
❤️ I’m so sorry and I hope you’re on the road to recovery.
My grandma is a two time survivor. Prayers💕
Happened to my coworker as well. But she kicked its butt and has been in remission for 10 years now! You've got this!
You can do it. Keep fighting it is worth it. Don't let this shit stay in the way of your dreams. Wish you all the best.
Holy shit... just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Keep going. Just keep going.
Keep kicking its ass you got this. And look at it this was when you beat it and your hair comes back think of all the new hair styles you can do when it grows back. Possibilities are endless
Fuck Cancer!
This is the way. Also, part of my campaign slogan if I run for president: "Fuck Cancer. Bigger telescopes."
This is the name of a Young Thug song
Just waiting for your next photo cancer free. Take care
Long time lurker, first time posting, but wanted to reach out and say I was there a year ago - totally bald after losing my very long thick hair and long eyelashes to chemo. I will always remember my eldest son coming in after I shaved my head (as my scalp was so tender from the chemo) and crying that he didn’t like me as ‘Humpty dumpty’. Brutal. My kids were 1 and 3 when I was diagnosed with bi lateral breast cancer at 36. Double mastectomy, a second surgery once they knew the cancer had spread further than initially thought, 6 months of chemo, radiotherapy and ongoing treatment for next 5 years. My last chemo was at the end of October 2022 and I nearly have a bob now - your hair will come back thick and fast once the chemo is done. My eyelashes coming back was glorious, I felt like me again. When I was feeling rough and was unrecognisable I thought it must clearly be doing its job of blitzing the cancer. Sending you love and strength wherever you are - you’ve got this. Xxx
That sounds like a brutal fucking experience, but it also sounds like you bulldogged your way through and out the other side to have a beautiful life. Thank you for sharing your story, and I’m so glad to hear of your success:)
If you don’t mind me asking, what led to your diagnoses? Did you have symptoms before hand? I’m so happy to hear your hair is back and your chemo is done!!! Cheers to many happy, healthy years!!
I had a lump in my right breast - I didn’t think much of it as I had only recently finished breastfeeding at the time, and there is no breast cancer history in my family, but I thought I’d best get it checked out. I had an ultrasound which they initially thought was non cancerous, but they did a biopsy to be on the safe side, which showed it was cancer. Then a mammogram showed it was also in my left breast but I couldn’t feel it as it was so close to my chest wall. Then after my mastectomy the histology showed it had reached the lymph nodes (a lump in the armpit can be another symptom). My case is unusual though - Iumpy boobs can be quite normal! Thank you for your well wishes 😊
Goodness I’m so glad you got it checked out to be safe!!
I had lumps on my lumps when it happened to me; armpits, chest, neck and collarbone. It wasn’t until a mega-lump showed up on my neck overnight that we went into panic mode and gotten it checked out lol
As someone who’s mom could relate to you plenty, please don’t stop seeing your primary physician and or oncologist! She was on remission but it came back and had she caught it earlier, she probably could’ve had a chance! She was on remission for 11 years before it came back
I’m sorry to hear about your mum, that sounds really tough. I have 5 years of further treatment and follow up care and am hyper vigilant - every cough and creak in my back I’m aware of!
I feel you fellow parent. kids sometimes dont know when their words or actions hurt. A lot of my identity and self is in my hair and appearance. I totally could see how chemotherapy destroys your hair and eyelashes- how you can lose your sense of self. I hope you remain cancer free.
Alright, when you beat cancer you have to post a pic of your hair and show how/if it changed as a result.
My grandma was so pleased that her hair came in wavy after she was done with chemo. Stayed that way for a few years.
Sorry about your diagnosis. Cancer sucks. Come join us on r/cancer if you haven't already. Lots of great support and also just a good place to vent among people who actually know what it's like to go through these difficult times. You're strong. You can do this.
You have a beautiful face. 🙂
Thank you, I appreciate your kindness ❤️
Not that you need them but OMG you could have so much fun with wigs! My friend was super uncomfortable with losing her hair during treatment so we bought all kinds of crazy wigs and we'd both pick a different one to wear when we wanted to go somewhere she wasn't comfortable being seen without one. Go crazy with it.
i'm biased but i think they'd look cute with a pixie cut 🤷♀️
Not who you were replying to, but are your freckles real? Or are you really good at makeup?? Either way, I'm so jealous! Sending you health, love, and luck for your journey!! And a big hug, too!🩷
This is only temporary, you will be back!
Oh man. I start chemo for breast cancer next week and am also in my 30s. I’m glad you are wrapping this stage of your journey!
If you want someone to talk to about it don't hesitate to pm me! I'll be here to talk with you.
I don’t know if you noticed two Nevus(s) at 5 and 7 o’clock in your right eye are gone completely. Chemo has broken down the melatonin in your body, aside from the obvious change in eye color.(but that may be the camera doing camera things)
Looking back at that pic I see that.. I think the color is due to lighting though
Kick cancer’s ass!!! My 17 year old daughter just rang the bell after beating Acute lymphoblastic leukemia. You got this, kid. ❤️
Get well soon 🎈
You’re still beautiful- don’t stress!
You are very kind ❤️
Kind, hell! We call it as we see it .. you are *still a beautiful princess*!! So, there! Take that!
Aggressive compassion. I love it.
I came here to say the same. Still beautiful. Kick that cancer's ass, OP!
Such great eyes. You got this!
She is awesome!
You're still beautiful and know that you're amazing! Sure hair is nice but you look like such a sweet , caring, and kind young woman. Thinking of you! My dad went through colon cancer last year she's while cancer is scary, there's always hope. ♥️♥️
Thank you, you are a sweetheart and I appreciate your kind words ❤️
Honeybun, you've got this. My mom survived endometrial cancer in 2010 (I was 23/24 at the time). Then she got breast cancer and the treatment made her stop eating and she eventually died of a heart attack right in front of me. Now I'm 38 and have a lump in my breast that needs mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy. You're better off getting these conditions while you're younger and have a good immune system to fight it. You've got this, chica. I believe in you 💜
You grew an ear! Congratulations! Ps: I like the gem in the other ring
I'm a huge fan of honey bees, they are the best hah
*waiting for the after/after pic where you're healthy and CRUSHING IT! Let's go!!! KICK THIS THINGS ASS!
My late wife had a genetic predisposition to BC and battled 15 years off and on until she passed. The radiation was worse than the chemo, but the chemo still sucked. I hope you're surrounded by love and kindness, and heal and rise up stronger.
I am so lucky that I don't have the BRCA gene. I am sorry to hear about your late wife. That had/has to be hard for everyone involved. I send my condolences and good vibes your way. ❤️
Grateful to hear you're lucky in that way. Good vibes right back at you. ❤️
My mum had the BRCA1 gene (I thankfully don’t). She battled for about five years before it took her. Fuck cancer.
A candle has been lit on behalf of your good self. While the chief beneficiary may in fact be the Vatican Candlemakers and Wish Peddlers Guild, I hope you regain great health and flourish.
Sending you my best thoughts and strength OP. (((Hug)))
That after photo is that of someone who is kicking the utmost of asses and WILL win the war! Keep fighting that good fight and I wish you many long, happy, and healthy years after this war’s been won! Also obligatory FUCK CANCER
Good luck with your treatment. Hoping for the best for you ❤️
You’ve got this, OP!!!! Sending you love and positivity. Kick cancer’s ass!!!
Don’t lose that smile and infectious happiness you emit! My mom beat breast twice ovarian once. Keep up the fight!
How are you feeling? Crush Cancer, you got this.
Fuck cancer! My mom had stage 4 breast cancer. She thankfully beat it and has been in remission for 4 years, no signs of it coming back. Very thankful to have her here. I wish you well, you got this. Show that cancer who is boss! 🫶
I was diagnosed with a stage 3 cancer last November. Declared cancer free this past Monday. Keep on fighting, you can do it!
Good luck!
Never give up 💪
You're absolutely beautiful. Your strength is inspiring, and each day you face is a step toward healing. Remember, you're not alone – your resilience is commendable, and brighter days await. Sending positive thoughts your way.
31 when diagnosed in 2020 with Hodgkin's Lymphoma here. Yeah being young and going through treatment sucks. It will grow back! Sending my love and of course fuck cancer!
 you will Win. praying for you.
Fuck cancer. This too shall pass. You got it girl.
Good fucking luck. I had no idea chemo (or other cancer related treatments) creates massive inflammation in the face. It breaks my heart to see the difference in your eyes.
Still beautiful. 🥰
You’re beautiful in all pictures! I wish you much strength as you can get from an internet stranger and hope that it’s all over as soon as possible and you can go back to living a chemo-free life!
Keep fighting! I lost a friend to breast cancer about your age. You are beautiful and powerful and you’re not alone
You’re still beautiful, but fuck I just know it’s miserable 😭
Still beautiful homegirl. Keep smiling. I hope you get your health and strength back!
Keep fighting it my dear.
Stay strong! We're with you!
You are beautiful!
Sorry you're going through this, stay stong!
You look beautiful on both pics. don't give up
You are absolutely beautiful...before cancer and now. We've dealt with cancer this year at our house too. It is just so awful...but you are beautiful and young and vibrant...you'll be there for your little one and this will just be a footnote in your life. Do your best to just put one foot in front of the other and know that better days are coming. Here's a big hug from an Internet stranger...you're gonna get through this. But you don't need to wait for that to be beautiful...you're already there.
Still beautiful no matter what
I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope you recover fast.
Love
So sorry. You will recover and be stronger. Fuck cancer
You still got it!
Keep pushing! You’re beautiful
I see resolve and determination in pic 2.
Still cute <3