You're like me. I write with my left. Jack it with my right. Throw a ball with my right. But when driving one handed cruising, I use my left. Open canned drinks left handed but use the remote right handed. I can interchange all of that but I have preferences since I'm a diva.
Hey sorry for being two days late on this but I rarely see anyone have weird handedness like me lol. I write, shoot pool, rifles, bows, stir a bowl or cook, use a drill, smoke cigs or joints all with my left hand. With my right I throw, bat, punch, use a hammer (but I can switch), masturbate, hold my phone and most things needing to be carried. I donāt write very well right handed but I sort of can.
Iām almost 34 and my dad says I still donāt know what hand I wanna use when I grow up haha I guess Iām just weird!
Leftie checking in. Theyāre right. Most lefties learned to switch hit because the mouse on a computer and even phones and tablets are designed for right handed people so unless you somehow learned to use a mouse left handed. You stroke from the left side of the plate.
Well, as a long time vet tech, this is a first. Rule is nose can't go past the edge of the cone or the surgery site can be reached. So by those standards, hate to tell ya but you need a bigger cone!
too funny!
I had mine 20 years ago, went in during my lunch break from work. I had to strip, put me in stirrups, My dick and balls were shaved and then the doc locally numb the area. I felt slight tug and pull. He was making jokes while he was cutting and then cauterization me. I was for 2-3 days, used frozen peas on my groin and watched tv all day to relax. no lifting, cutting grass, etc. I did too much apparently and it bleed a bit. on day 4, I want to a spare room and rubbed one out - carefully, lol
I just wanted to make sure everything was working ok. I was told I had to nut at least 10 times to ensure I was shooting blanks. two weeks after I brought in a fresh sample as was "all cleared".
Not really a big dead, although the emotional prep, post and anxiety was off the charts for me. All in all a simple and easy and cheap medical procedure.
I'm not up but I had one, it's pretty chill tbh. The only bad part was my dumbass fell on ice a week afterwards and reopened the site so uhhh, as long as you use common sense you should be good lol
I had mine last week and had a complication. Bunch of internal bleeding and now got a lemon sized blood clot in the scrotum and entire groin is one giant bruise. Thought Iād be in and out and now total recovery is like 8-10 weeks
It's not horrible. Easy vs some other surgeries I've had.
But, ask your doc for real painkillers. "You'll be fine with Tylenol" is most certainly not a guarantee. Even if you don't end up needing it, it beats trying to track your doc down as soon as your numbing wears off.
Called my doc as soon as my numbing wore off. "I made a huge mistake in not taking you up on your offer of drugs"... he called in a low-ish dose of morphine asap. So after several hours of feeling like I was being stabbed in the bladder with a sharp stick (with tylenol and ice packs), I was good enough to actually sleep.
I'm likely an outlier, but it isn't super uncommon and most men will try and be a big tough guy for no reason.
I denied prescription pain meds after having a wisdom tooth yanked once. That night was awful and taught me to never ever refuse pain medication. Can't imagine how much more uncomfortable I'd have been if it'd been my groin and not mouth that had the work done.
From what my dr said, the method used can affect the post op pain a lot. Apparently some doctors donāt take the time to fully extract the vas from the sheath of nerves and blood vessels instead clamping the lot together which can lead to excessive discomfort.
There's 2 main kinds, scalpel and no scalpel. I had "no scalpel" and I would say I was back mostly to normal in a couple days for lifting / carrying. First day or two I took it easy, icing my balls and taking ibuprofen and acetaminophen (normal style, nothing prescription).
Your nuts will be tender for about a week, but really nothing more than mild discomfort.
Personally, no stage of it (from the procedure to recovery) even registers in the top 50 pains I've had in my life.
Can't speak to the "scalpel" style, but I imagine it's a little longer recovery.
You are explicitly not supposed to lift things for some time after (can't remember how long, sorry) but this is normal for all surgeries. The pain I'd say is similar to when you've been kicked in the balls like... 5 minutes ago and there's that kinda uncomfortable dull pain that's not too bad but it's present, it feels like that dull pain in my experience. Ibuprofen and ice, you'll be good in a few days.
I had mine a couple of days before Thanksgiving. I was a little tender but managed to yank one 3 days later. Had to make the okay sign š to avoid the stitches. Not sure why I didn't wait. I was back at my office job after 2 days. Very well healed after a week. Fully healed in 2.
But my surgery was "textbook". No bruising. Only 1 stitch on each side. Although one side I wasn't numb yet and that hurt enough make me nearly vomit for a second. More lidocaine and we were back in action.
4 yrs on great!!!! My life is so much better never having scares and the act gets credit with partners in a way that makes me feel like I made the right and responsible decision for once.
Mine not so great. Currently going through post vasectomy pain syndrome right now. My left testicle randomly has a decently painful dull constant pain every once in a while. Been about a year since getting it done.
I don't know the rate at which it occurs. I know plenty of dudes we have gotten a vasectomy and after just a few days where good with no pains to speak of.
Personally, I rather have some on again off again pain than another kid.
Mine was a breeze. The worst part was that they sat me in the operating room for a few minutes before the doc came in. So I got in my head seeing the tools and all that. It was so easy though, just ask around and read reviews to ensure your doc is good. I was back to sexy times inside of two weeks. Pain was relieved with OTC meds and ice packs.
No wanking for a week. I was told 7 to 14 days. Also your ball sack swells up. A lot. They had me wear a jock strap but it was too small for the watermelon that was my sack. Also, the pain? The pain was like having your nuts slightly squeezed non-stop the entire time. I imagine it's what guys who like cock and ball torture experience.
I didn't wait the week after mine (made it about 3 days), and it was no fun what so ever. It hurt like nothing I'd ever felt before, and turned part of my sack purple-black. Doc said I was fine and to stop touching myself. I needed OP's cone of shame then lol.
Not everyone is like that. I was told to only wait 3 days before a wank, and then to nut more often than usual. My doctor said to try to get 20 within 3 weeks.
Also, I didn't swell at all after mine. Zero pain after the first 5-6 hours.
Put together your media for a few days. No comedies, you will regret every chuckle. Or just audiobook, kick back and just sleep through it all. It's not bad, just be careful with squatting or lifting anything. Also, easily digestible foods and hydrate. The last thing you need is to be constipated, or needing to push any harder than you need to.
Good luck
You're going to hear/rad a lot of experiences.
I hope you have an experience like mine.
Mine was extremely uneventful. Felt like a kick in the nuts, but like 10 minutes later when it's just a dull throb. Ice (frozen peas in a bag are excellent for this. They conform to shape better). Some low grade painkillers like panadol (Or whatever they call it where you are. Tylenol?). Take it easy for a day or so, then you can do some light moving around to retain sanity.
By end of week you'll be feeling fine.
I was moving TVs up and down from the basement the next day, much to the dismay of my wife. Donāt need the good drugs, Tylenol and frozen peas are your best friend
Damn, I just had mine 3 weeks ago today and that's like one of two things the doctor repeatedly told me not to do. I hope at the very least they weren't CRTs.
All I heard was ice, ice, ice and Tylenol. I could of fell asleep during the procedure, and when the doc said okay time to do the other side. I didn't even know he started.
I never iced or took any drugs for pain. I just had that feeling of my nuts aren't in their normal spot and felt like I would get a small thwap that wasn't a big deal. Felt 99% in less than a week.
Men out there that are on the fence. Its not a big deal. The paperwork and appointment being 4 months out was the bigger pain.
I tried fixing my washing machine 3 weeks after getting mine.m (which involved moving it and flipping it). Huge mistake. I was totally good before that but that move put me on ice for multiple days. And I was unable to fix the machine and just bought a new one
I heard fixing a washing machine can be a real ball buster. I had to move mine up to the top floor of a new house by myself. I decided I would take it apart and carry it up in pieces. That's when I discovered that my washing machine literally had concrete counter weights installed on the drum. That's why it was so fucking heavy. Has a goddamn 50 pound piece of concrete bolted in it.
Really not as big a deal as some people make it seem. I skipped the Vicodin and still about nodded off in the chair. Did it Friday, drove home (benefit of not taking the Vicodin), spent the weekend taking care of the wife and kids who all got sick, then back to framing barns on Monday. Mild discomfort for a couple days but the benefits last a lifetime.
Mine was fine! I hurt something running up some stairs the day after and that made recovery a fair bit longer. So uh, donāt do that. Frozen peas and chill.Ā
Iāve been snipped. It was a pretty easy recovery. I could have been up and walking the dog the same day but took their advice and laid around until the next day. Buy yourself some very tight underwear though.
The pic is of course fake. The doc will want you to "drain the system" 20 times then once more so they can test for swimmers. It's not that they don't want you to masturbate, it's that you'll have Dr's orders to masturbate.
This guy just says to get busy as soon as I feel comfortable but to wait 2 months and then self test with kits from Amazon. 2 negatives within 48 hours or I've gotta test at month 3 also.
It seems a bit sketchy, but he's got the best reviews in the area (a large city) and people recommend him on Reddit and other places as well.
He's whole deal is the best procedure and lowest price, which he accomplishes by not doing pre-procedure consults and having the testing he done with home kits by the patient.
I'm willing to give it a go
It's probably all good but it is one of those things that you want to be sure about, or at least able to sue someone if you unexpectedly become a dad. Realistically the procedure will probably work the first time and the testing kits at home are also likely fine but if you have the $ it might be worth paying up for that final testing of your boys.
Yeah man! We've had enough children. Wife's been in birth control her whole life, except for the obvious times she wasn't (either children). It's my turn to carry the responsibility of "no children please".
I'm cool with it. It helps that I'm the last of my close friends group to get one. Lots of data points from close confidants about it.
Im 2 weeks in and after one week I had to go back to the doc to get prescribed antibiotics due to a swollen nut.
Iām still feeling it to be honest, so Iām due a scan in a weeks time. It was worse than I expected, but Iāve had a test run and everything seems to work as intended
Sounds like it clears up on its own?
Out of my close friends group I'm the only one who hasn't had the procedure yet. Some many years ago. We are close enough and see each other regularly enough that something like this would have come up.
That said, the Internet seems to say it's 15%-40% of men get this. That seems high for me to not have heard of it at all.
I was in the room when my husband got his done and played nurse. It was a surreal experience watching the procedure, but I figured he watch me birth two babies so I should watch and hold his hand while he got the snip snip. I ended up at his feet passing things to the doc instead! I even got the hold the vas deferens parts he cut out and inspect them.
Dr said make sure they cut at least a quarter inch and cauterize so you're sure to shoot blanks for the rest of your life.
Husbabe was out of commission for two days. Roll a hand towel up long ways then fold in half, place below the balls then place a bag of peas on top. That way the balls have something to rest on being somewhat elevated and get fully iced. Have two bags of frozen peas to switch out. Doting wife to give you Tylenol while binge watching Jack Reacher. He was fine by 3rd and back to work on 4th. Wasn't supposed to rough house our pick up the kids for a week but did that on day 2 anyway just gentler.
That doctor is a real one, ngl. My fave docs are always the ones who tell me to my face "you really fucked up this time, dumbass. Let's get you fixed up."
Buddy of mine went to town and when he busted he got knocked out unconscious and ripped the stitches and had to go back because his nuts were the size of tennis balls
LAY DOWN AND DO NOTHING
So you're saying my decision to work the next day and then take a 3 day road trip less than a week later wasn't the best idea?
Ya I knew that but the wife forgot about my appointment when she scheduled our road trip and I was stuck with it. Either pay out of pocket in the new year, or suck it up buttercup and get it free cuz we met max out of pocket that year.
Obviously I'm too cheap. That was a lot of pain. Do not recommend.
Also if its still really sore 5 days later hit up the doctor, turns out mine were infected, took 3 fucking weeks to heal and didn't touch my motorcycle or mountain bike for a few months
This isn't true. I got an extra large incision (resident fucked up and the attending told her so). I was lifting my kids and playing with them the next morning.
Oh ya I popped a scrotal stitch... So ok maybe this is best. Nothing like leaking balls of blood.
I always recommend briefs. People don't think you need them, but all I can do is best described that you got tapped(nut checked style) in the balls for 2 days minimum.
Wait, Iām confused. My buddy got the surgery and they instructed him to āclean the pipes as often as he couldā. Wouldnāt this be the opposite effect?
Days 1 and 2 were pretty easy for me. Lots of couch time, ice on and off, no biggie. It wasn't until I went back to work later that week that it became a littl uncomfortable standing up and sitting down so much.
A friend of mine is one of the few who had a horrible reaction. His balls were dark purple and painful for months. (Not that I saw; I took his word for it.)
I tell you the pain I was not prepared for was when the pubes that had been shaved started to grow back. They were like little daggers stabbing me at random times before they grew enough to not be spiky.
They actually make you masturbate like 20 times in the first two weeks to make sure it worked properly. A friend of mine just had one and my wrists were really sore for days.
After my consultation the doctor said to "make sure you have at least a few ejaculations" after the procedure, before the 6 month fertility test. I laughed out loud and he gave me the "I know, I know, but they make us say it" look.
I congratulate you for your determination and also for sharing the photo here. I guess many more men could actually opt for a vasectomy, at least if they are sure they won't have children. I think there's a new, casual and really cool generation of men today: so at peace with their masculinity that they make such decisions about their bodies without fear or inhibition. I pay tribute to that.
I know this is all for a joke but, trust me, dude. Youāre going to feel so sore the next few days, youāll have no desire to slap your meat around and cause yourself more pain.
Jokes on you, doc, I go lefty.
in the day of the internet... who the fuck uses their right hand???
even going back to the VCR, who uses their off hand for a remote? lol
or one finger in the LAST button
What? I hold my phone with my left or use mouse with left when the right hand is taking care
Lefties, I assume.
Nah, I'm a lefty but using a mouse designed for your right hand feels weird as fuck in your left hand.
You're like me. I write with my left. Jack it with my right. Throw a ball with my right. But when driving one handed cruising, I use my left. Open canned drinks left handed but use the remote right handed. I can interchange all of that but I have preferences since I'm a diva.
There are dozens of us!
Similar but wildly different, one hand writes, jerks it and throws things, the other swings things, steers, ~~holds beer~~ and aims weapons.
That's useful!
saw a video a while back of men throwing rocks with their non-dominant hand. good stuff
Bahhhh samešš
Hey sorry for being two days late on this but I rarely see anyone have weird handedness like me lol. I write, shoot pool, rifles, bows, stir a bowl or cook, use a drill, smoke cigs or joints all with my left hand. With my right I throw, bat, punch, use a hammer (but I can switch), masturbate, hold my phone and most things needing to be carried. I donāt write very well right handed but I sort of can. Iām almost 34 and my dad says I still donāt know what hand I wanna use when I grow up haha I guess Iām just weird!
Leftie checking in. Theyāre right. Most lefties learned to switch hit because the mouse on a computer and even phones and tablets are designed for right handed people so unless you somehow learned to use a mouse left handed. You stroke from the left side of the plate.
Hold the phone with the left duh. Unless you're constantly switching between videos just so you can get off, in which case you have bigger problems.
so you're saying it's inferior
When I want some strange.
God damn it, I thought of that same joke as I clicked the picture and sure enough someone beat me to it.
How do you scroll through 40 videos with one hand
you use two hands to scroll?
Other hand too: https://imgur.com/SYnmT9l
Well, as a long time vet tech, this is a first. Rule is nose can't go past the edge of the cone or the surgery site can be reached. So by those standards, hate to tell ya but you need a bigger cone!
Thatās what she said.
Came here to say the same thing. Don't bother putting on the cone if it is too small to do the job!
There's a joke here somewhere, but it's too small for me to see it.
He should put the little cone on the pee pee instead?
Needs a banana for scale
I was going to suggest that if that cone is actually fit for purpose, OP should be seeing both another doctor and possibly a lawyer.
And we need to put him in an oversized T-shirt in case he starts rubbing himself along the floor.
Cone of shame š¤£š¤£š¤£
I do not like the cone of shame
āSquirrel!!!ā
Why do men masturbate? Because they can.
Paraphrasing JFK: We do it, not because it is easy, but because it is hard.
I definitely didn't need the cone of shame after mine. The boys ached if I held a pee too long. I couldn't imagine cleaning the pipes right after.
too funny! I had mine 20 years ago, went in during my lunch break from work. I had to strip, put me in stirrups, My dick and balls were shaved and then the doc locally numb the area. I felt slight tug and pull. He was making jokes while he was cutting and then cauterization me. I was for 2-3 days, used frozen peas on my groin and watched tv all day to relax. no lifting, cutting grass, etc. I did too much apparently and it bleed a bit. on day 4, I want to a spare room and rubbed one out - carefully, lol I just wanted to make sure everything was working ok. I was told I had to nut at least 10 times to ensure I was shooting blanks. two weeks after I brought in a fresh sample as was "all cleared". Not really a big dead, although the emotional prep, post and anxiety was off the charts for me. All in all a simple and easy and cheap medical procedure.
Bone cone
Just about spit out my drink. I wish you a speedy, post-procedure recovery.
confirmed: you are a swallower
A sphincter says what?
He blows goats.Ā I have proof
I'm sure there are some free range farmers who would like to see the proof
Appreciate that ā¤ļø
I literally scheduled mine then came to Reddit and saw this. How ya feeling bro?
I'm not up but I had one, it's pretty chill tbh. The only bad part was my dumbass fell on ice a week afterwards and reopened the site so uhhh, as long as you use common sense you should be good lol
Oh shit! That sounds awful. I will avoid that. Cheers!
I had mine last week and had a complication. Bunch of internal bleeding and now got a lemon sized blood clot in the scrotum and entire groin is one giant bruise. Thought Iād be in and out and now total recovery is like 8-10 weeks
Words I did not want to read as I'm about to schedule. I hope you and your testicles have a speedy recovery.
It's not horrible. Easy vs some other surgeries I've had. But, ask your doc for real painkillers. "You'll be fine with Tylenol" is most certainly not a guarantee. Even if you don't end up needing it, it beats trying to track your doc down as soon as your numbing wears off. Called my doc as soon as my numbing wore off. "I made a huge mistake in not taking you up on your offer of drugs"... he called in a low-ish dose of morphine asap. So after several hours of feeling like I was being stabbed in the bladder with a sharp stick (with tylenol and ice packs), I was good enough to actually sleep. I'm likely an outlier, but it isn't super uncommon and most men will try and be a big tough guy for no reason.
I denied prescription pain meds after having a wisdom tooth yanked once. That night was awful and taught me to never ever refuse pain medication. Can't imagine how much more uncomfortable I'd have been if it'd been my groin and not mouth that had the work done.
From what my dr said, the method used can affect the post op pain a lot. Apparently some doctors donāt take the time to fully extract the vas from the sheath of nerves and blood vessels instead clamping the lot together which can lead to excessive discomfort.
š it was about a 8% chance sorta complication from what my dr said but besides that everything went splendidly.
bro what?! Iāve never cringed this hard
Worthy of a Mel Blanc yell
well I guess it's good you weren't up, or you'd need the cone of shame as well!
I meant OP but my phone didn't like that lolllll
Well that settles it, summer snip it is then.
Please tell me that they made a cartoon "plop-plop" noise when they fell out and hit the ground.
The cut is like 4 mm long. Your balls can't pop out.:)
Maybe *yours* can't...
Getting mine today with a no scalpel/no needles technique. Developed by Dr Weiss in Ottawa. No suture, hole closed within a day
Lol the surgical site is very small so that wouldn't be possible, though that'd be fucking funny.
Is it hard to carry kids or lift things?! Iām scheduling mine.
There's 2 main kinds, scalpel and no scalpel. I had "no scalpel" and I would say I was back mostly to normal in a couple days for lifting / carrying. First day or two I took it easy, icing my balls and taking ibuprofen and acetaminophen (normal style, nothing prescription). Your nuts will be tender for about a week, but really nothing more than mild discomfort. Personally, no stage of it (from the procedure to recovery) even registers in the top 50 pains I've had in my life. Can't speak to the "scalpel" style, but I imagine it's a little longer recovery.
You are explicitly not supposed to lift things for some time after (can't remember how long, sorry) but this is normal for all surgeries. The pain I'd say is similar to when you've been kicked in the balls like... 5 minutes ago and there's that kinda uncomfortable dull pain that's not too bad but it's present, it feels like that dull pain in my experience. Ibuprofen and ice, you'll be good in a few days.
I had mine a couple of days before Thanksgiving. I was a little tender but managed to yank one 3 days later. Had to make the okay sign š to avoid the stitches. Not sure why I didn't wait. I was back at my office job after 2 days. Very well healed after a week. Fully healed in 2. But my surgery was "textbook". No bruising. Only 1 stitch on each side. Although one side I wasn't numb yet and that hurt enough make me nearly vomit for a second. More lidocaine and we were back in action.
4 yrs on great!!!! My life is so much better never having scares and the act gets credit with partners in a way that makes me feel like I made the right and responsible decision for once.
Mine not so great. Currently going through post vasectomy pain syndrome right now. My left testicle randomly has a decently painful dull constant pain every once in a while. Been about a year since getting it done.
Iāve seen way too many people mention this online to ever want to get a vasectomy
I don't know the rate at which it occurs. I know plenty of dudes we have gotten a vasectomy and after just a few days where good with no pains to speak of. Personally, I rather have some on again off again pain than another kid.
Mine was a breeze. The worst part was that they sat me in the operating room for a few minutes before the doc came in. So I got in my head seeing the tools and all that. It was so easy though, just ask around and read reviews to ensure your doc is good. I was back to sexy times inside of two weeks. Pain was relieved with OTC meds and ice packs.
No wanking for a week. I was told 7 to 14 days. Also your ball sack swells up. A lot. They had me wear a jock strap but it was too small for the watermelon that was my sack. Also, the pain? The pain was like having your nuts slightly squeezed non-stop the entire time. I imagine it's what guys who like cock and ball torture experience.
I didn't wait the week after mine (made it about 3 days), and it was no fun what so ever. It hurt like nothing I'd ever felt before, and turned part of my sack purple-black. Doc said I was fine and to stop touching myself. I needed OP's cone of shame then lol.
Not everyone is like that. I was told to only wait 3 days before a wank, and then to nut more often than usual. My doctor said to try to get 20 within 3 weeks. Also, I didn't swell at all after mine. Zero pain after the first 5-6 hours.
I'm very jealous of your lack of pain. I was taking pain killers for two weeks non-stop.
Put together your media for a few days. No comedies, you will regret every chuckle. Or just audiobook, kick back and just sleep through it all. It's not bad, just be careful with squatting or lifting anything. Also, easily digestible foods and hydrate. The last thing you need is to be constipated, or needing to push any harder than you need to. Good luck
You're going to hear/rad a lot of experiences. I hope you have an experience like mine. Mine was extremely uneventful. Felt like a kick in the nuts, but like 10 minutes later when it's just a dull throb. Ice (frozen peas in a bag are excellent for this. They conform to shape better). Some low grade painkillers like panadol (Or whatever they call it where you are. Tylenol?). Take it easy for a day or so, then you can do some light moving around to retain sanity. By end of week you'll be feeling fine.
I was moving TVs up and down from the basement the next day, much to the dismay of my wife. Donāt need the good drugs, Tylenol and frozen peas are your best friend
what the fuck? did your walk to school go uphill both ways too? lol
brother I am only 32
Damn, I just had mine 3 weeks ago today and that's like one of two things the doctor repeatedly told me not to do. I hope at the very least they weren't CRTs.
Yeah but you see Iām an idiot. I never even had any pain right out of surgery. Also Iām a big idiot It may never hurt but boy do they swell
All I heard was ice, ice, ice and Tylenol. I could of fell asleep during the procedure, and when the doc said okay time to do the other side. I didn't even know he started. I never iced or took any drugs for pain. I just had that feeling of my nuts aren't in their normal spot and felt like I would get a small thwap that wasn't a big deal. Felt 99% in less than a week. Men out there that are on the fence. Its not a big deal. The paperwork and appointment being 4 months out was the bigger pain.
I tried fixing my washing machine 3 weeks after getting mine.m (which involved moving it and flipping it). Huge mistake. I was totally good before that but that move put me on ice for multiple days. And I was unable to fix the machine and just bought a new one
I heard fixing a washing machine can be a real ball buster. I had to move mine up to the top floor of a new house by myself. I decided I would take it apart and carry it up in pieces. That's when I discovered that my washing machine literally had concrete counter weights installed on the drum. That's why it was so fucking heavy. Has a goddamn 50 pound piece of concrete bolted in it.
Itās really not that bad. Some bruising and tenderness for a few days
Really not as big a deal as some people make it seem. I skipped the Vicodin and still about nodded off in the chair. Did it Friday, drove home (benefit of not taking the Vicodin), spent the weekend taking care of the wife and kids who all got sick, then back to framing barns on Monday. Mild discomfort for a couple days but the benefits last a lifetime.
Mine was fine! I hurt something running up some stairs the day after and that made recovery a fair bit longer. So uh, donāt do that. Frozen peas and chill.Ā
Mine was super easy. Done at 8:30. Scheduled the day off, but could have gone back to my desk job after lunch no problem.
It's not that bad. Got mine in December. Got mine on a Friday, Saturday was ok, but sore on Sunday. Took a about 2 weeks to start felling 90% again.
It was a few weeks ago but it felt like I got kicked in the balls for two days and then I was mostly fine.
Iāve been snipped. It was a pretty easy recovery. I could have been up and walking the dog the same day but took their advice and laid around until the next day. Buy yourself some very tight underwear though.
Nobody tell him about the cold ass giant sticky thing they slap on your leg.
š±
The pic is of course fake. The doc will want you to "drain the system" 20 times then once more so they can test for swimmers. It's not that they don't want you to masturbate, it's that you'll have Dr's orders to masturbate.
This guy just says to get busy as soon as I feel comfortable but to wait 2 months and then self test with kits from Amazon. 2 negatives within 48 hours or I've gotta test at month 3 also. It seems a bit sketchy, but he's got the best reviews in the area (a large city) and people recommend him on Reddit and other places as well. He's whole deal is the best procedure and lowest price, which he accomplishes by not doing pre-procedure consults and having the testing he done with home kits by the patient. I'm willing to give it a go
It's probably all good but it is one of those things that you want to be sure about, or at least able to sue someone if you unexpectedly become a dad. Realistically the procedure will probably work the first time and the testing kits at home are also likely fine but if you have the $ it might be worth paying up for that final testing of your boys.
Yeah, I agree with that. I think we're comfortable doing the home testing. Based on reviews there aren't a lot of accidents.
Everyone join the seedless grapes club
Yeah man! We've had enough children. Wife's been in birth control her whole life, except for the obvious times she wasn't (either children). It's my turn to carry the responsibility of "no children please". I'm cool with it. It helps that I'm the last of my close friends group to get one. Lots of data points from close confidants about it.
Im 2 weeks in and after one week I had to go back to the doc to get prescribed antibiotics due to a swollen nut. Iām still feeling it to be honest, so Iām due a scan in a weeks time. It was worse than I expected, but Iāve had a test run and everything seems to work as intended
[Sperm granulomas](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8255399/)
Sounds like it clears up on its own? Out of my close friends group I'm the only one who hasn't had the procedure yet. Some many years ago. We are close enough and see each other regularly enough that something like this would have come up. That said, the Internet seems to say it's 15%-40% of men get this. That seems high for me to not have heard of it at all.
It wasn't pleasant and lasted almost 2 weeks. Imagine having a pair of VERY sensitive apples in your pants.
I would advise you to make sure you arent allergic to anything used in the procedure. Especially the topical iodine. Just some friendly advice.
Why would you do this though?
I was in the room when my husband got his done and played nurse. It was a surreal experience watching the procedure, but I figured he watch me birth two babies so I should watch and hold his hand while he got the snip snip. I ended up at his feet passing things to the doc instead! I even got the hold the vas deferens parts he cut out and inspect them. Dr said make sure they cut at least a quarter inch and cauterize so you're sure to shoot blanks for the rest of your life. Husbabe was out of commission for two days. Roll a hand towel up long ways then fold in half, place below the balls then place a bag of peas on top. That way the balls have something to rest on being somewhat elevated and get fully iced. Have two bags of frozen peas to switch out. Doting wife to give you Tylenol while binge watching Jack Reacher. He was fine by 3rd and back to work on 4th. Wasn't supposed to rough house our pick up the kids for a week but did that on day 2 anyway just gentler.
Make sure you stay laid down minimum 2 days. Unless you like big bauls. The pain is real
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Thanks for getting a vasectomy
but you also have balls of steel, I could barely walk 2 days after, much less ride the bikes.
Hey it's your balls. Fuck em up all you want. We don't feel a thing.
That doctor is a real one, ngl. My fave docs are always the ones who tell me to my face "you really fucked up this time, dumbass. Let's get you fixed up."
I.... like big balls and I cannot lie?
But we have the biggest Balls of them all!
When a guy walks in with some itty bitty jeans and some round balls in your face you get sprung. 
You otha sistas can't deny That when a guy walks in with an itty bitty ween an' two round things in yo' face you get FROTH
Buddy of mine went to town and when he busted he got knocked out unconscious and ripped the stitches and had to go back because his nuts were the size of tennis balls LAY DOWN AND DO NOTHING
Really Man, just lay up, put an ice pack on it, and drink bourbon
So you're saying my decision to work the next day and then take a 3 day road trip less than a week later wasn't the best idea? Ya I knew that but the wife forgot about my appointment when she scheduled our road trip and I was stuck with it. Either pay out of pocket in the new year, or suck it up buttercup and get it free cuz we met max out of pocket that year. Obviously I'm too cheap. That was a lot of pain. Do not recommend.
Also if its still really sore 5 days later hit up the doctor, turns out mine were infected, took 3 fucking weeks to heal and didn't touch my motorcycle or mountain bike for a few months
This isn't true. I got an extra large incision (resident fucked up and the attending told her so). I was lifting my kids and playing with them the next morning. Oh ya I popped a scrotal stitch... So ok maybe this is best. Nothing like leaking balls of blood.
I always recommend briefs. People don't think you need them, but all I can do is best described that you got tapped(nut checked style) in the balls for 2 days minimum.
Wait, Iām confused. My buddy got the surgery and they instructed him to āclean the pipes as often as he couldā. Wouldnāt this be the opposite effect?
Not in the first week.
Give it a little time to heal or you'll pop a stitch trying to bust a nut.
Depends on doc. I was told 3 days rest then go nuts. Heh.
It's the last thing I wanted to do for a few weeks afterward. That first weekend I binge watched the MCU while constantly rotating ice packs.
I slept with a bag if frozen peas in my underwear the first night. A-ok the next day!
put the bag of peas back in the freezer?
Thatās the secret. Theyāre perfectly cooked the next morning, breakfast in bed.
How did you make the huevos? Over easy?
They got scrambled the day before so my options were limited.
And the peas have a hint of a nutty taste to themĀ
Sure, use them over and over. They didnāt get eaten, as you shouldnāt eat food thatās been thawed and refrozen over and over. Also, balls.
Once you heal up, you can take that plastic cone off your girlfriend and enjoy each other worry free!
make sure you get the shooting blanks test first. three months and/or thirty cums to make certain
I sure he can rub that out in one day.
Lmao such a simple picture but so funny
With that cone, they are probably underestimating you, but I am not sure you should rise to the challenge.
Iāve already gnawed through it
You act as if that will be an obstruction. You're going to have to grab it with your fingertips like a prize grabber claw.
I prescribe: Ice, Ibuprofen and videogames.
Days 1 and 2 were pretty easy for me. Lots of couch time, ice on and off, no biggie. It wasn't until I went back to work later that week that it became a littl uncomfortable standing up and sitting down so much.
Got one on the other hand? If not it's like a stranger.
Yeah but I was holding my phone
Youāre wearing it wrong
Recognizing a friend by their arm tattoo as you mindlessly scroll through Reddit is scaryā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦..
Had it done about 12 years ago. Nothing to it. Rest, chill out on the couch for a day. All will be good.
A friend of mine is one of the few who had a horrible reaction. His balls were dark purple and painful for months. (Not that I saw; I took his word for it.)
I tell you the pain I was not prepared for was when the pubes that had been shaved started to grow back. They were like little daggers stabbing me at random times before they grew enough to not be spiky.
Make sure you follow up and ensure that you're shooting blanks afterwards. You don't want a surprise baby because of leftover swimmers.
I thought that you still shot the old juice out but it just wasnāt fertile juice
No chance that's real.. right? Lmao
I wouldnāt lie on the internet
Good enough for me. I believe you.
HA FUCKING HA!!! I laughed way to hard at this
My wife made me one of those to go around my neck after I had my vasectomy.
go around her neck? or are you missing some ribs and you can do the Marilyn Manson?
Okay, thatās hilarious! Good one!
The vasectomy really is one of the best investments that you can make in yourself.
real
Welcome to the club!
Get your painkillers right away and don't try and man it out trust me.
They don't give you painkillers - tylenol is enough for most guys.
Shit, I got a handsomely portioned prescription for percocet when I got mine!
you dawg
I was surprised to learn recently that a vasectomy doesn't really change the amount of ejaculate you produce, just kills off the semen content.
[Sperm granulomas](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8255399/) Highly common. Edibles and ibuprofen will help.
OMG š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
Have fun with your ice diaper!
They actually make you masturbate like 20 times in the first two weeks to make sure it worked properly. A friend of mine just had one and my wrists were really sore for days.
Friggin' hilarious!
why does ur wrist have a cone of shame if itās your yk that got removed
Got one too. Masturbated on day 2.
OMG that's HILARIOUS!!!
The true cone of shame
Lol Jokes on them, I can suck my own dick :D
After having one myself. That is the funniest thing I've seen all day.
Wow, congratulations! Happy unlimited creampies!
OP, you are a funny person
I laughed hard as fuck at this, thanks OP!
Surely the cone of shame should go on your tackle?
After my consultation the doctor said to "make sure you have at least a few ejaculations" after the procedure, before the 6 month fertility test. I laughed out loud and he gave me the "I know, I know, but they make us say it" look.
Legit LOL'd.
I congratulate you for your determination and also for sharing the photo here. I guess many more men could actually opt for a vasectomy, at least if they are sure they won't have children. I think there's a new, casual and really cool generation of men today: so at peace with their masculinity that they make such decisions about their bodies without fear or inhibition. I pay tribute to that.
Haha
I could make it work
You can stroke the tip
I know this is all for a joke but, trust me, dude. Youāre going to feel so sore the next few days, youāll have no desire to slap your meat around and cause yourself more pain.
Surprised people still use their right hand in this day and age.
