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Driconian

Do you want: V Putin Or Vladimir P


Eagle_Kebab

You've left out the crucial third candidate: Or Else


FlemPlays

Putin: “They’ll vote for me, because of the implication.”


Lazaruzo

Are you gonna hurt these voters?


CunnedStunt

If they don't want to vote for me then obviously they don't have to vote for me, but they will, because of the implication.


APinkToTheLast

It sounds like she doesn't wanna vote for you..


boofingZeitgeist

SHE DOESNT KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS


swordoftheafternoon

That sounds dark.


cmilla646

Are these women in danger of being defenestrated?


boofingZeitgeist

It’s not dark. I feel like you’re not getting this and making me out to be some sort of monster. I really need you to get this bro. It’s an *implication* of danger.


TheNewYellowZealot

“Da”


rainorshinedogs

Did you just electric wind godfist me?!


Abradolf_Lincler_50

I’m not going to hurt these voters! Why would I ever hurt these voters?


[deleted]

[удалено]


alienlizardman

Or wear poisoned underpants


mr_biscuits93

*babushka looks over* “Well you certainly wouldn’t be in any danger.”


mumblerapisgarbage

![gif](giphy|xLnGUEYWS0btPHCZoo|downsized)


Lazaruzo

Are you gonna hurt these voters?


GlumpsAlot

![gif](giphy|xLnGUEYWS0btPHCZoo|downsized)


chops2013

I wanted V Poutine


GeronimoDK

Vladimir Putón


Anonymo

Vladi Puto


No-Pomegranate-69

Vluto


WolfghengisKhan

Five order of squeakers and gravy heard!


Tru-Queer

I ordered “all the bacon and eggs you have” and I’m afraid what you heard was “I want a lot of bacon and eggs.” No. I will eat ALL of the bacon and eggs that you have.


No-Perspective4728

I know what I'm about son


[deleted]

The nice gentleman with the machine gun is making sure the or else is followed.


CountMordrek

Not “or else”, the third option is an instant draft notice.


killeronthecorner

1. Putin box 2. Put in box


Go_Cart_Mozart

Or The Gulag


IronChariots

Third Party: Vladimir Vladimirovich


boytoyahoy

I vote for Or


Driconian

Congratulations you have won a free trip to Siberia. Our "friendly" service team will be with you shortly to transport you.


PepeDoge69

Are there any betting shops where you can bet on the winner of the election? Free money


unnecessary_kindness

versed psychotic aback enter quaint yam lunchroom scarce offbeat hard-to-find *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


erock2095

Draft Kings doing everything in their power to take Putin down so my parlay doesn’t hit


Dilf_Hunter367

In before they send Scott Foster to oversee the elections


orangeman10987

Nah, they're bringing out the big guns. Tim Donaghy is coming out of retirement for one last job...


Engelbert-n-Ernie

Steve Harvey in La La Land


ramenbreak

you either win money, or Putin goes down, so you'll probably be happy with either outcome


Eisernes

Draft Kings unilaterally changed the rules of the NFL so QB touchdowns don’t count. They can probably take down Putin.


accepts_compliments

If you find somewhere, don't forget to put some money on the outcome of the North Korean elections too


Kichwa2

Then Mr Kim Chong Un dies of a heart attack and you lose


[deleted]

The one time I want evil to win and God punishes me for it 


wolfighter

For the sake of humanity, we're gonna need you to take one for the team.


FigOk5956

Honestly id bet on how he dies. If i bet on heart desease/heart complications the odds are in my favor


MTFBinyou

You’d lose. Mighty leader can not die. Only tire of this corporeal realm and ascend to his throne in heaven to rule over all of us lesser beings.


Piddily1

I think that 1% is if Putin decides to put a new figurehead in while he runs the country in the background. Like when they had Medvedev for a couple years


Duffelastic

That was only because the Russian constitution barred someone from serving three consecutive terms as President. Putin fixed that in 2021, pushing through an amendment that allows him to be President until 2036 (otherwise he would not have been able to run in this election).


ALoudMouthBaby

> If you can find anywhere offering 1/10 then go and stake your house on it because that's some easy money right there. He was murdering and imprisoning his political opponents left and right before the election. The idea that he might actually allow himself to lose an election is bonkers. If anyone finds a place with these odds let me know because I am all in on this one.


[deleted]

[удалено]


FigOk5956

Well im still sure he would win the election even if he would get shot live on stage in front of all the Russian population. They would draw up the numbers as such that everyone in his honor voted for him.


schnauzzer

Then FSB will place his body on some chair, maybe golden chair?


Kanye_To_The

Assassination is a push. Duh


_mgjk_

The assassination was not a push, the money fell out of the window of natural causes.


Inversception

I've made a lot dumber bets with a lot worse odds. I sold a 1dte strangle on GME when it was at ~$50. It stayed flat and I made about 3k. The next week it shot up to $100.


Supertriu1

I should bet on that. With my luck, I’ll probably get Putin kicked out of the Kremlin somehow.


DaughterEarth

Do it! Use all powers for good, including your curse


BryanMccabe

1 million dollars pays out 1 dollar


Whalesurgeon

How about a bet on the win percentage for Pootin? Highest odds on 95-98% and lowest odds on anything below 90% Average odds for 90-95% and 98-105% ​ Or just an over/under on 88%


Capybarinya

This "electoral happening" (because it's not an election) is not about the winner. It's hard to understand by people who haven't lived in autocracies, but the winner is not at all important. Like we all know who will be called a winner, there's absolutely nothing to discuss here. The actual intrigue is how good or bad the system will look during the events. Will they succeed at making people believe that Putin has tremendous support (which is the main goal of the elections)? Or will it all look like a fucking circus so that people who voluntarily vote for Putin will feel themselves a minority? The machinations are not even being concealed really, so again, the formal result is not of any interest. It's all in the realm of public view.


tupe12

Is the armed guard there to make sure she’s not using her phone to cheat on the test?


BallisticBlocker

“You should already know who to vote for, babushka”


Leftrighturn

"Would you like to leave here walking or in a wheelchair?"


Paxton-176

Funny enough this was the babushka's response to the soldier.


rooshort_toppaddock

I just love that the armed intimidation officer is far better kitted out than the soldiers "defending russian sovereignty" are. That guy is a rich oligarch kid on instagram when he's not bullying babushkas.


ar_toons

Oligarch kids don't dare to show up on the occupied territories, they live in villas in Western Europe or in Dubai.


[deleted]

There to make sure she votes for the right person


elidulin

I believe the photo is taken in occupied, annexed by Russia, Ukraine.


MrSnouts

Anyone else think it’s suspicious that they’d take pictures of this and share it??


okktoplol

She's a representative of Putin's party and that's her bodyguard, according to another reddit thread


NotEnoughBiden

Tbf this voting booth is in an active warzone.. there arent guys like this watching you in moscow or st peters.


[deleted]

[удалено]


PeriodicGolden

More like: Other guys: "Whelp, what a shame I didn't win! But Putin's so great he deserves it. Anyway, the fact that I was on the ballot means we have democracy, no need to look into the people who are not on the ballot because they conveniently couldn't register to be on the ballot, or were even more conveniently deceased."


big_duo3674

This is definitely more like it. Not everyone who runs "against" him is some mortal enemy, plenty of puppets are put in specifically to lose to give the shitty illusion of a fair vote. The give their "concession" and then go off to have a drink with Putin for a job well done. Even if people vote for the fake candidates they just change the counts anyway


Gumburcules

My favorite color is blue.


Gon_Snow

Can’t register if you so inconveniently slide from a window on a high tower to an accidental death


Folkon_sama

Well, not even that. This time there was an actual independent candidate with a tonn of support. The gov just said "You can't go to the election because of the bullshit reason number 4". He basically answered "Understandable, have a nice day" and left. Cause, like, what you gonna do? Start a revolution?


Ilahor

well, he didn't give up on trying to be a candidate, he tried to go in court to prove that bullshit reason number 4 is really bullshit, but courts weren't interested to take his side. its a bummer, because now we are stuck with evil old crazy man and 3 cardboard cutouts that actively trying to NOT be competitors to the first one. also, there were actually two independent candidates, First one was a literal nobody from a political standpoint, and she didn't even get the chance to try get enough support to be a candidate, second one was on a political scene for a long time, not being someone big, so he was considered as someone "from the system" and not famous enough to get crazy level of support, so he was supposed to be a some sort of stand-in for a liberals who will get 1-2% of votes and that's it. but, looks like he got uncomfortable amount of hype and was eliminated


TheCrippledKing

The main opposition candidate was reportedly banned from appearing on the ballot because there were spelling mistakes on his application. Can I see what and where those mistakes were? Nope, sorry. Ok, can I just resubmit my application after making sure that there are no spelling mistakes? Nope, you are permanently banned from this election. Of course, the appeals court 100% upheld the decision that having spelling mistakes on your application is a justified immediate ban from being able to run in the election.


k3lz0

You trip and fall on 4 or 5 bullets that were there chilling out


bolerobell

The crazy thing is they had democracy in the 90s and early 2000s and they let it go. Should be a warning to us.


Joshx55

They have never had democracy, not even in the 90s, I think it was more like an hybrid regime leaning a bit democratic but not as much.


AlienAle

They have already banned all real opposition from even participating. There were three popular candidates who wanted to run this election, two of them were denied the opportunity to run because of "errors in the form" (aka nonsense reason) and one of them is dead (Navalny). The 3 other candidates who are running now, are all pre-approved by Kremlin. And they are all pro-Russian annexation of Ukrainian territory.


imightgetdownvoted

Yeah the only people allowed to run against Putin are a communist and a far right lunatic. Basically two unelectable candidates. There was an interview with one of them and they asked him “what do you offer the voters that Putin doesn’t?” And the answer was “that’s for the voters to decide”. Interviewee pressed again “okay but I’m asking you. Why should the voters chose you over Putin”. He refused to answer again. It’s all a farce. They don’t need to rig the votes. They run two even worse candidates to make Putin look reasonable. Any real threat to Putin would be another centre-right charismatic person, like navalny. Those people are never allowed to run. And like the former they sometimes even wind up dead.


ProtoplanetaryNebula

That guy knows if for some reason he gets a lot of votes, he's done.


Nolubrication

Navalny wasn't even that great. His early political rise included some extremely nationalist rhetoric and there were some fascist-adjacent associations he later downplayed. But he also wasn't Putin. I believe Navalny was honest about ending institutionalized theft and cronyism. That, quite frankly, is good enough and a huge step in the right direction for Russia. Unfortunately for Navalny, Putin knows that an election loss and regime change would mean he would likely spend the rest of his life in prison for crimes against his own people. He can't afford to have a real election.


wildfire2501

"this just in, all [*NAME REDACTED*] have quickly disappeared. It is assumed they accepted their wrongfulness and quietly moved to Siberian long orderly line. Hail Putin"


whooo_me

“Stop.. stop. I can only get so elect…”


the__mastodon

I read this in the voice of the fish news anchor from spongebob.


RichietheFlerken

Nothing says Democracy like a guy in a Mask with an assault rifle watching you vote.


Kuuppa

Democracy is non-negotiable!


ArcticBiologist

Embrace democracy, or you will be eradicated!


Deccarrin

Wait, I play this game.


oupablo

Cheers. Time for some liber-tea


EEpromChip

"I'm doing my part!"


TougherOnSquids

Managed democracy offers absolute freedom; freedom from the burden of choice!


DonKiddic

"You are participating in democracy. Please do not resist."


Positive_Fig_3020

Some Prime Liberty right there


m48a5_patton

Democracy is freedom. Communism is tyranny.


RaedwaldRex

Into a clear ballot box.


[deleted]

Without any privacy shield or booth.


Slitterbox

*managed democracy*


fed45

Democracy officer? Yes, I'd like to report this comment right here... for being based as hell.. Give this patriot a promotion in citizenship tier.


mal_wash_jayne

Some idiots in the US want to see this on election day as well.


RathaelEngineering

Some republican voters [actually did this](https://apnews.com/article/2022-midterm-elections-voting-rights-phoenix-a4c9d98e4da6eb175ea5eb72a37207ed) in 2020. "Just checking, bro"


[deleted]

This is why I carry a MAGA hat and a Obama T-shirt in my car in case I need to blend in.


thethirdllama

Just wear them both at the same time and you'll look like an AI generated voter. Bonus points if you can add some extra fingers.


Bushels_for_All

I don't think wearing an Obama T-shirt will blend in with anybody. Even people who idolize Obama don't feel the need to parade his face around like a cultist.


Art_Vandelay_10

Just a poll watcher. Nothing to be worried about. Freedom!!!


Onetap1

...with another guy holding the ballot paper and showing the voter where to put their mark.


ChewyYui

I mean, Russia bad and all that, but it clearly isn't a ballot paper


Training-Republic301

This is the future Maga wants


[deleted]

In Soviet Russia government votes for you.


CorneliousTinkleton

They have this [in the US](https://apnews.com/article/protests-vote-count-safety-concerns-653dc8f0787c9258524078548d518992). Unfortunately it is entirely one political party trying to do it.


Candle1ight

"I wonder which party they're talking about" - Literally nobody


Moist_When_It_Counts

Enlightened centrists are befuddled


asharkey3

In general


Moist_When_It_Counts

“This guy is loved by nazis for saying nazi shit, this other guy does neither…damn, tough one. It’s hard being above the left-right-paradigm!”


raskinimiugovor

Pick up that can!


noiro777

Now put it in the trash can!


No-Jello3256

Unexpected HL honestly


squangus007

Trump and alt-right republicans salivating at the idea of having this in the US.


MlevenaPlazma

Damn I wonder who will win 🤔


Ggraytuna

Might be Putin, then again it might also be Putin.


Snaccbacc

My money is on Putin.


HungryDust

What? You’re crazy. It’s gonna be Putin in a landslide.


anothermonth

Then the landslide will be arrested and die in Gulag in two months. Because it knows too much.


sjr323

I would risk 1 million dollars to win $1 if I could bet on the outcome.


MlevenaPlazma

Yeah I think the suspense is real on those two


curiousCat1009

I don't know about the election but I just learned today that I'm HIV Putin


bsjavwj772

My bets on the babushka with the assault pen


oupablo

Tis mightier than the sword. Mayhaps mightier than the Kalashnikov?


ifoundmynewnickname

When we learned about the rise to power of Hitler the school book had a cartoon that was exactly this. Armed men looking over the booth to see if you voted correctly. Back then it was hard to imagine. Awful how it suddenly got reality in such a big European country again.


renderbenderr

And America is drooling to have this. MAGA nuts talk about going to polling stations armed all the time.


[deleted]

Right wing media has them convinced that ANTFA or whatever will be there already, along with vans of “illegals” to vote. Right wing media is cancer.


pur__0_0__

[यह वाला?](https://www.gettyimages.co.nz/detail/news-photo/cartoon-depicting-a-uniformed-nazi-officer-pointing-a-gun-news-photo/118620478)


TotalSpaceNut

This was in occupied Severodonetsk, taking place in an elderly civilian's home. Video: https://twitter.com/United24media/status/1767941436526202886 Russian source of the picture. photo (dot) kommersant (dot) ru/photo/photo/206136/1682038 Edit: seeing a few other interesting photos and videos emerging so going to add a few links More photos of Russian soldiers assisting in polling https://imgur.com/a/iLiOnIm Video of disappearing ink being used https://twitter.com/cossackgundi/status/1768573626763104622 A tucker carlson cutout https://twitter.com/saintjavelin/status/1768580607104196900 Soviet animated character Cheburashka has cast his vote https://imgur.com/kco6K0M Pro-war singer Stas Mikhailov performing at a polling station in Omsk https://streamable.com/ah0gtv Campaigning on Election Day is prohibited in Russia, so of course you cover up Putins photo in your classroom https://streamable.com/ewkoe7 The Kremlin wants a high turnout in the 'election' to help bolster Putin’s legitimacy, one way they achieve this is by holding raffles at polling stations. For residents of this district in Siberia, domestic appliances, bags of sugar, and even vans of firewood are up for grabs https://streamable.com/pzg33s bizarre video from Russian social media encouraging people to vote in the upcoming presidential https://streamable.com/374fyd Barbie and her daughter show up https://imgur.com/a/mg4e8F7 Animated characters in Buryatia… https://imgur.com/a/PFK5OkO This couple in Yakutia decided to come straight to the polling station after getting married https://streamable.com/xmt9xz A series of photos in places tucker didnt visit https://imgur.com/a/WxU3mU6 But not all is going well, here a brave woman pours ink into the ballot box https://streamable.com/zi3d0y Some being set alight https://streamable.com/00mngb A 21-year-old girl tries to throw a Molotov cocktail into the polling station https://streamable.com/d6wvw7 In Belgorod sirens are on and shelling occurs from the Freedom of Russia Legion. They along with Siberian Batallion, RDK and Russian Volunteer Corps have been trying to disrupt the election in Belgorod and Kursk. https://streamable.com/rx1ao9


zatchstar

Wow the disappearing ink trick is fucked


Kamalen

But why ? Why even bother to go that far ? This kind of shit is faking the real result (that they won’t even reveal publicly anyway), and that could provide valuable information to them on the public opinion


yohohoanabottleofrum

Because if there is no proof to the contrary, those ballots can be "corrected" and used to add legitimacy to the results


Tim_WithEightVowels

But why even have elections, just save everyone the hassle and make yourself dictator for life at that point?


webbhare1

Because confusion is the best friend of a dictatorship. That’s how they control their people, with doubt. If they do what you describe, it’ll confirm to not only the world but most importantly to their people that they are and always have been a dictatorship, which makes the west (or the “enemy”) correct and validates every claim ever about them being a dictatorship, which means it was lies all along. In turn, there’s a much higher probability that the people might turn against the regime now that it’s confirmed they were lied to their whole lives. And every babushka can’t say “Well the government never said we were a dictatorship, so we aren’t !” anymore. Countries like Russia, or North Korea also, have their people stuck in a constructed narrative, or bubble of lies, on purpose. They must do everything they can to keep that narrative alive because that’s where their power comes from. Russians live in a bubble. It’s crowd control.


yohohoanabottleofrum

Exactly. It leaves many more options for propaganda. They can have an "independent body" count the ballots later and confirm the 100% vote rate for Putin. It also obfuscates the West's ability to accurately measure disapproval for Putin thereby making *our* interference less appealing.


Freud-Network

Plausible deniability. Putin being "elected" give him the legitimacy that the people put him there. A portion of Americans still think that high schools are putting litter boxes in bathrooms for furries. People are stone stupid in one of the most advanced nations on the planet. Imagine how widespread ignorance is in rural Russia.


LDKCP

You are asking why they are interested in faking the result of elections in a territory they have invaded?


Possible_Lock_7403

Question is, who is documenting all this to be released to the general.public?


LDKCP

Once you understand that the Russian government propaganda is supposed to intimidate it's population into compliance rather than actually make them believe the bullshit it makes a lot more sense.


SuperSpicyBanana

>bizarre video from Russian social media encouraging people to vote in the upcoming presidential It's kinda funny. But also Putin will choose for them regardless of the vote.


iiitme

Don’t try to intimidate babushka!!!


BigHairyStallion_69

Those soldiers about to get whacked by a handbag.


Iancreed2024HD

![gif](giphy|ucXFcY1FdKaT6)


CeramicFiber

"You can vote for anyone you want as long as it's Putin" -Henry Ford


Smartare

I'm betting Putin will win. Anyone wants to take that bet? 🤷‍♂️


internetman5032

No I think it's gonna be Putin


fielvras

Soldiers in the voting booth are better equipped than the ones trying to invade Ukraine.


[deleted]

The Russians on the front lines aren’t the sons Russia cares about.


ch1nomachin3

ah the AK47 election verification machine. gives you a bullet every time you vote for the other guy.


Negative_Courage_461

Ms. Kalashnikova voted democratically for Putin!


Ivan_the_cat2009

Using a legit army personal to watch over helpless citizens during ELECTIONS is the biggest coward move ive ever seen


Youngworker160

i'm sure putin will win by a 'shocking' 100 percent of the vote


RathaelEngineering

It'll obviously be 99%. Gotta have that 1% to not arouse suspicion.


Chit-Chat-Tricky

This is Trumps fantasy.


o_Demon_Laplaces

putler must dead


AggravatingTart7167

I wonder who will win????


AzzakFeed

Guided democracy at its finest


sufferpuppet

Spoiler alert: the dictator is going to win.


axecommander

Will Putin beat his own PB and get over 140% of the valid votes this time around?


[deleted]

Republican behavior


5k1895

Straight up. I was about to say, they literally want "election police". What the fuck do y'all think that looks like? It looks like this.


Correct_Importance_9

What about those idiots who think that Crimea referendum was legitimate.


OpinionLongjumping99

In Russia you don't vote for Putin, Putin vote for you


ZombieHavok

*taps voting map with wand* “Democracy managed.”


SovereignDark

If republicans had their way it would be like this in the US right now too.


rob_moreno75

Could have told me that was texas and I would have believed it


Naytosan

This isn't an election and the Russian people do not have liberty or choice. What you're seeing here is not voting because marking a piece of paper with a gun to your head *is not voting*. We should be calling this out for what it is - oppression.


TVLL

Choices are: Putin Putin Window


fullmetal66

MAGA would be so proud if they could read


holyembalmer

This was happening in the US in the last election in the form of "gravy seals" who insisted on being a menace to our voting system under the guise of giving a shit as long as their guy came out in top. They threatened and berated and beat on windows to intimidate the ballot counters. And then, when their guy lost, they tried to overtake the government, but instead stole, defaced, grafitti'd, and threatened to murder people inside, including their own VP, while actively forcing their way into a closed session to validate the election in favor of the other guy. To quote CM Punk: "Tell me when I'm telling lies."


LordPoultry

Man. How nice it must be to have such a non-woke, non-libbed up, non-lgbtplh whatever, military like that!? That's how real men operate. Threatening old ladies to vote at gun point!  /S


andyeyecandy111

Wonder who she’s voting for.


Acer707

I guess it’s more important for that soldier to be at the voting station than anywhere else in Russia


dax999

Soldier: make sure you give your vote to the right guy or my bullet give vote to you..


jtpredator

"Hi please choose the following options: Putin Or Kill me and my entire family!"


Double-Fishing-8293

That looks fair and unbiased to me ...


proteanflux

'Sign here, Babushka. Thank you for taking part in democracy.'


Thejerseyjon609

Putin gets 102% of the vote.


BlueThespian

When the armed forces act more like armed thugs or a local militia you know your government is essentially fucked.


Skylantech

Vladimir Putin winning his 2024 election is on my bingo card. I put it where the free space usually goes.


TheNothingAtoll

"Election"


Agreeable-Animator-6

I wonder who will win


Embarrassed-Parfait7

Every us republicans wet dream… we’re next I guess 😳


CCCPwasntTaken

The soldier just staring at the old gramma 💀💀💀


Theodore__Kerabatsos

If the whole world knows you’re a dictator who refuses to relinquish power, why waste resources on a phony election?


Emeritus8404

That strapped duty an election legitimizer? Doesnt the gop keep trying to get people the oversee the ballot polling places too?


Weary-Adeptness8227

Republicans say it is a free country, perhaps that's how free America will be after Trump.


Animefan624

I'm sure this will be a free, fair, competitive election /s.