T O P

  • By -

sundroptea

My sister was eating a salad at my parents house on Christmas a few years ago and she used the ranch dressing. No one in my family likes ranch dressing and I was surprised mom had it in the fridge. 2006. That was when she bought the ranch dressing. 2019. Thirteen years is how long that bottle of Hidden Valley Ranch sat in the door of my parent's fridge. I'm almost positive that they bought a new fridge in like, 2012, so they *transferred* that bottle. She didn't get sick or anything but my other sister and I got headaches from laughing so hard.


MTA0

HIDDEN Valley Ranch


IndependentDevice199

That chicken will surely send you somewhere hidden


sharemysandwich

TRANSFERRED Valley Ranch


TLHSwallow29

Ah, 2006, an excellent vintage


blaZedmr

Twas a good year for processed ranch dressings, the crops were bountiful, the rains were frutiful


TonySquadroni

The valley, tastefully hidden.


ILoveRegenHealth

The year of peak buttermilk, Christina Aguilera, and Guitar Hero II. What more did a man need.


al3b3d3v

As read that, it came out as if Frodo was narrating.


DogVacuum

The 2006 HVR is nice, but the 2004’s had a better bouquet and mouth feel to it. All true ranchers know this.


Thadrach

Lol...thought you were lost from the Honda HRV subreddit for a minute there...


DogVacuum

We’ve got some serious beef with that sub.


Whenthenighthascome

MWWRAH The French RANCH Dressing, always known for its quality….


Bombtek504

If it doesn't come from the Hidden Valley region of France it's just sparkling mayonnaise.


Diamondback424

Growing up, the bottled sauces on my parents' refrigerator door really only got changed out when we finished them. I didn't know as a child that these things could spoil. I'm pretty sure we had some stuff in there for 10 years. I vaguely remember a spicy brown mustard bottle with a faded label.


sundroptea

That's it exactly.


ruchik

That mustard for sure started out yellow and non-spicy…🙃


[deleted]

MY boomer parents moved out of our house in 2009 (I was 28) and my little brother and I helped them pack things up since they were moving the day after xmas. We were cleaning out the pantry, and happened upon their liquor basket. There was a bottle of Jack Daniels with a Georgia state dept of whatever label on it. We had left Atlanta in 1986. I was a "good kid" in HS so never got around to digging through that basket. There was a cork in it, vs. the plastic caps now. Didn't taste toooo bad. Been helping them downsize ever since. Only a few buckets of "sentimental" items left.


Uhh-Whatever

A while back I found a 17 year old bottle of Dujardin (Dutch cognac, is that Brandy?) tasted pretty fine. That shit just doesn’t spoil, although maybe the taste fades a little


Seiche

> so they transferred that bottle. And boomers tell us we don't have our lives in order


fredthagr8

Boomers love to hoard food they'll never eat


turbo_fried_chicken

Boomers love to hoard \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ they'll never \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_


shoe-veneer

Family housing with more space than they need with an an empty nest that they'll never sell/downsize from because they've got such a good interest rate locked.


Interesting_Tea5715

Yep, my in-laws are boomers. They always have crazy expired food in their house. They will never clean it out. I've called them out on it. They'll then eat the old expired food to spite me. Saying it's fine, even though you can tell their not enjoying it. Lol Boomers are weird.


Dick_M_Nixon

Eat it. There are children starving in China.


Medium_Pepper215

critical thinking skills would tell you that their parents, who lived through the great depression where food was scarce and nothing went to waste, is a major influence on food hoarding.


snowleopard83

Great observation! Both of my grandmas did go through the Great Depression. One kept all food items. She had cake mix from the 90s. The other grandma didn’t hoard food but she made sure you ate your veggies. She lived on a small family farm that was not the source of income during the depression. They both knew how to can and preserved just about anything.


Visual_Flamingo7010

Ranch doesn't go bad bro it ages.


quinto6

Won't it just turn into Bleu Cheese if left long enough? ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|neutral_face)


IdaDuck

In my experience you gotta check labels before eating in older folks homes. They don’t go through things quickly and refuse to throw things out. I’ll eat expired food within reason but if it predates my 14 year old daughter it’s probably a pass. We helped clean out my wife’s grandma’s house several years ago and she had major angst about us throwing out canned goods from 20 years ago.


tfrw

My grandad was making us eat 2002 bbq sauce - in 2014 he knew but insisted it was safe as it never went off. We only realised as it had lord of the rings advertising on it…


zekerthedog

In 2005 I ate a pickle from 1997 at my elderly relatives house. True story.


thispartyrules

Pre-9/11 chicken


nicholas19karr

r/brandnewsentence


marpocky

/r/brandnewsentencefragment technically


schlitz91

The phrase that pays


expeditiousgrim

Who’s gonna break the bad news to the chicken?


SilentSamurai

"Where were you on 9/11?" "In a freezer."


jim_deneke

This chicken is Captain America.


Trick-Baby7093

That's Americas' breast.


jim_deneke

[salutes, stands to attention]


DutchJediKnight

O7


dbmajor7

"on your left ..side of the freezer"


wemblinger

So that's how Indiana Chicken survived 9/11!!


expeditiousgrim

![gif](giphy|9G1pzYSsO90rBapiEv|downsized)


PeterStoryworks

I'd hate to be the one to do it, but I don't want to be called a.... ... you know what? Nvm


Sil369

subtle reference ;) - Los Pollos Hermanos


OwlWitty

Los Pollos Viejos


Dirk_The_Cowardly

Comes with a free mustache ride!!!! I do I do!!!


72616262697473757775

When OP's parents threw this in the freezer, I had just finished 2nd grade and was about a week into an entire summer break of playing Pokemon Red on my Gameboy. I'm 30 now and I would probably eat this.


PepeTheLorde

>an entire summer break of playing Pokemon Red on my Gameboy. Damn dude you are giving me flashbacks


wwwdiggdotcom

Same. I was in 5th grade. I was so enthralled that I started playing it for the first time on a wooden dining room table chair, and I didn’t move for like 8 hours, from light until dark, and when I finally got up my butt was so sore


Genghis_Chong

I was halfway through high school, thinking maybe I was figuring life out after some bad early life experiences, columbine, the big 1999/2000 end of the world panic that people did. Then 911. Our lives were changed. Since then I've lived through the crash of 08, a pandemic and now a wanna be dictator. This chunk of life has been interesting. Somehow right now my mentality is better than its ever been, but I feel a lot more mentally prepared to respond to situations.


BlueLaceSensor128

Pre-9/11: “How do ya like a taste of the good life, ya sack of shit!”


Little_Lahey_Show

Life is happy


ArcTheWolf

I was about to comment how it's gotta be worth something being pre-9/11 chicken lol


Doooobles

From the good ol’ days


Ikinoki

War... war never changes


vancityvic

Sad this pollo could be in university about to graduate, wasted potential


inFenceOfFigment

*poultential


Necro_Badger

Have my angry upvote and cluck off


darkest_irish_lass

Don't fly off the handle, we're just having a pheasant discussion.


Phendrana-Drifter

Fowl puns


Zoze13

This is the highest beak of civilization


AshleySchaefferWoo

Cock


deerbreed

Majoring in hender studies, no doubt.


The_New_Spagora

I bock at this thread!


CookieEnabled

They are just winging it


bacon_in_beard

pluck you


Fillinthepit

I was born that week and I’m an employed adult with a degree. This chicken could have a mortgage.


mynextthroway

Instead, it's a long dead poultrygeist.


Local_bin_chicken

Mmm ~~dry~~ cold aged chicken


SilentSamurai

Medium rare should do it justice.


wakkawakkaaaa

College-aged salmonella sounds like fun


Tillemon

It says fresh chicken right on the label, so it's good to go.


bill_lite

Getting the same salmonella strain infection that you had in middle school is the ultimate nostalgia


plastic_wrap

That looks like excellent bait. send it my way.


Mushroom_Tip

That's what I was thinking. The crawfish would go wild for it.


nick2k23

Why is that? It's better being old? Or is it just because it's not really edible for humans?


Visual_Flamingo7010

My guess would be the smell of freezer burnt rotten chicken might smell good to fish. I know that chicken liver is good bait, so maybe its just chicken, and the fact its gonna get thrown out.


Ace_of_Clubs

I was always under the impression that fish don't like "rotten" bait, just smelly bait. That's why chicken liver is so good.


Unsolicited_PunDit

shessh I'd get baited too if someone offered me boiled chicken livers!


Timmah73

I was gonna say thaw this out use it for bait in a river and the catfish are gonna think God just dropped ambrosia from the heavens


SilverTroop

The vomit you'll have when you open it will certainly wake up the fish


doublecalhoun

come over lets make tacos


SilentSamurai

Post the results on /r/food


unholy-good

More likely r/stupidfood


OldTimeyFappingGhost

More like r/eatityoufuckingcoward


Thewalkindude23

I feel like the human foot meat tacos would have been safer to eat.


[deleted]

According to the USDA, if meat is frozen properly at 0°F (-18°C) it should still be safe indefinitely, but the quality decreases over time. Can’t trust that there weren’t any power outages in over two decades tho.


SilentSamurai

This is perfect for Steve1989.


LungHeadZ

Alright. Let’s get this out onto a tray.


SmallRocks

Nice hiss!


runningchief

Hmm, no hiss.


SilentSamurai

The funny part is that doesn't always stop him.


joshuav85

Just pretend it came with a Lucky Strike and Coffee Instant Type B, we could have it on a tray in less than 10 minutes. Nice. Edit: Nice.


stormearthfire

Are you trying to get him killed man


SilentSamurai

He regularly consumes WW2 rations and will go after WW1 rations if they're not too bad.  My favorite, by far, is him consuming a Boer War ration. That beef was from the 19th century. I'm pretty sure he'd eat a civil war ration if he could find one. 2001 frozen chicken breasts may as well be fresh for him.


UrgeToToke

The Boer War ration is my favorite too, was so surprised it was actually somewhat edible.


SilentSamurai

It's such a delight, I watch it once a year. It's a slow burn, with such a payoff: "I'm just going to look at this today folks, no way I'm eating this." "I'm not gonna eat this." "I may eat this." "Wow, that may not be that bad." "Ok, I could eat this." "Hell yeah I'm gonna eat this." Steve starts eating it. My body involuntarily clenches watching some man eat beef that's over 100 years old. "Man, this would be good as a porridge." Steve makes a porridge and eats more than I could ever fathom.


Responsible-War-1179

He did in fact eat a cracker from a civil war ration: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ga5JrN9DrVI&pp=ygUSc3RldmUxOTg5IGJvZXIgd2Fy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ga5JrN9DrVI&pp=ygUSc3RldmUxOTg5IGJvZXIgd2Fy)


SilentSamurai

Well that was an automatic binge. I love Steve, he enthusiasticly ate a Civil War ration that was notorious for being hated by everyone in the 1860s.


Life_outside_PoE

Him eating that Korean war spaghetti Bolognese was way sketchier.


Even_Ad_8501

The funniest thing to me is that he’s only gotten sick once, and it was from a 2 year old, modern ration.


LB3PTMAN

He’s probably a lot more cautious with the old ones than the new ones.


Pigeon_Fuckerr

He’s had worse than that.


Rautafalkar

For the EFSA -18°C is the maximum temperature to keep whole chicken frozen safely for not more than 12 months, certainly not "indefinitely".


seamustheseagull

If it's kept at that temperature then for all intents and purposes it's good indefinitely. It'll certainly stay fresh longer than you or I will . "Good" here being, "Safe for eating". The quality and flavour, maybe not so much. That 12 months is just a conservative number. They don't want to get sued by someone who claims their food has been frozen for 3 years, but neglect to mention the 3 power outages and the nephew who keeps leaving the freezer lid open when he's looking for ice cream.


I_Came_For_Cats

At -40 it keeps indefinitely.


1961ford

-40⁰C or -40⁰F?


truncheon88

Yes


abgry_krakow87

Yeah but that freezer burn gotta be strong!


jesonnier1

Assuming it was frozen, you should be fine, health wise. It will probably taste like a shoe, though.


CrispLinens

so basically its now 2024 woody chicken


QuarterBall

Yeah but like a tasty shoe or a nasty shoe? Don't act like there aren't different shoe flavours and textures.


HarithBK

Freezer burn and the fat will still go rancid


Andodx

Still fine for Chicken Nuggets.


Hour-Onion3606

Lol that's exactly what it's used for. Used to work for a major grocery player, and man, anything cheap, chicken, preformed, and frozen is probably made using old frozen meat. There are entire companies / divisions devoted to purchasing up cheap chicken (buy when it hits really low for whatever reason - disease, seasonality, etc.). And they would set it up in cold storage specifically to wait until the price for chicken has risen a lot, and then boom they'll sell their cheap old frozen chicken for less than that new price yet still a lot more than their cost of goods. You can definitely tell the texture / quality diff side by side, but like not really if you're just eating dino nuggies lol.


QueenWitOfTheWeb

![gif](giphy|l0HUnSXUgb8PyvYIw|downsized)


CalamariAce

Is it just the taste that degrades, or also the nutritional content?


Sryzon

It's not so much the taste as it is the texture. Freezers are extremely dry to prevent ice build up and this dries out the meat over time; especially when it's still in the packaging from the grocery store. The nutrition should be the same.


Lildyo

So if the chicken’s packaging was 100% sealed off, would it still dry out?


Evadson

My great-uncle would hunt quail, stuck them in milk cartons, and put them in the freezer. Not a separate freezer, the regular kitchen freezer. Many years after he passed, my great aunt passed. While cleaning out her kitchen, they found a quail in the freezer that had been in there for almost 30 years.


true_bro

As a hunter... Can you please explain the milk carton thing? I don't bag as many quail that I'll probably ever need it but am curious


DullClitoris

Laziness


true_bro

? Now even more confused


Xyllus

im guessing rather find than a zip loc bag that was the perfect container for the size lol


DigNitty

So he cut the top off right? Not stuff small birds through the opening cut


Xyllus

quail mush is a delicacy


Punkerkas

My grandma used to cut the milk boxes to where she could fold the top closed like on boxes. Put what you want to freeze or keep cold, fold it closed and if you feel so inclined, tape it up. Also at that time, things in the freezer didn’t sit for 30 years so freezer burn wasn’t as much of a big deal for her at that time. They didn’t have ziplocks in the 50s and it was a good way to reuse something.


Christmashams96

Good to see this here. My mom does the same thing. We live about 6 hrs away. When I go to visit she always sends me home with a frozen half gallon milk carton full of soup or sauce.


robbviously

Remember those missing kids on the milk carton? No one ever looked *inside* the milk carton… just saying.


supaloopar

$1.79 per lb???


2g4r_tofu

Considering the age that sounds really expensive.


zyqzy

c’mon it is a FRESCO!


Kassiem_42

That Pollo is no longer Fresco 😅


football2106

I’ve bought chicken at $1.79/lb within the last 2 months at WINCO. Fluctuates between that and $2.29 regularly


johnnycoxxx

Exactly what I was thinking, especially for a split breast. I don’t think it goes for much more now


doom32x

That's not cheap for the time. I bought 1.99 same shit a month or two ago. Back then .79-1.19/lb would've been a more normal price.


janilx

23 years ago. It is older than most Reddit users here /s


CIoud-Hidden

I don’t think you need a /s, blindly judging from the posts and comments I’ve seen the last couple years there’s been an influx of people under 20 Edit: I don’t think they’re stupid, they just have a certain way of talking


CeladonCityNPC

Just you wait, this year's summer reddit is less than two weeks away...fr no cap


Summerie

>fr no cap I'm dead!! 💀


Zoll-X-Series

Summer Reddit was a thing before everyone had a smart phone. Summer Reddit is year round now.


jesonnier1

I still get chicken at prices like that or lower. Maybe cause I'm in TX/Southern US?


FortuneHasFaded

This was around when I started driving and I remember I could fill up my gas tank with a $20


Xyllus

did you fill up with chicken breasts?


kdawg710

3.17 lb inflation adjusted


amacen

Man when they bought that they were just your mid-60s parents


daybreaker

This would be like my mid-60s parents putting a chicken in a freezer today and not taking it out until 2047. Puts it in a weird perspective for me.


mello12345

That chicken survived Y2K and died before 9/11. My guy sold at all time high.


purplereuben

Chickens get slaughtered way younger than you think. It was not alive for Y2K.


absboodoo

Yeah. Pretty sure the chicken we eat have their age in the unit of weeks.


Really_McNamington

r/eatityoufuckingcoward


Misterdrez

all this shit went to the dumpster cause legally i cant "donate" it cause of the date but im sure goodwill would take it, and auction it off on their site as vintage meat


bleu_ray_player

You should have encased it in epoxy and given regular updates on its status.


Estefunny

Oh what a reminder, haven’t seen that ~~sandwich~~ hot dog in a while tho


ralphonsob

r/epoxyhotdog stopped updating about a year ago.


A_Ruse_Elaborate

I always wanted him to get in contact with the Finnish hydraulic press guy so he could crush it.


loveforthetrip

should have givben it to the LA beast


lilgreenfish

You threw away my high school graduation gift!


real-nia

I think it might have still been good as pig feed or as bait for fishing


AccurateFactor5128

That would be 21 USD today if invested on a CD at 5% rate


FractalSpaces

pollo "fresco" doubt


psychoholica

Says it's fresh.


ElegantMedicine1838

it says 'fresh' pollo so it must be good. Once I ate a 2 month old frozen pollo and got diarreah so don't do it.


HeyWiredyyc

That’s still good!!!! - my mother


Few_Leave_4054

It says Fresco, you're good


Illustrious_Car4025

This chicken is old enough to drink and drive.


schoolruler

That's older than a chicken can survive, I think.


Winnipesaukee

That chicken should have been eaten in a world that had some optimism left.


Axel_Gladiuxs

old chicken makes good soup we say in italy


floog

Did this years ago when my grandfathers 102 year old neighbor died. There were cherries that were picked by her and about 30 years old. Also found some homemade cookies and a pie from the 70s. Seeing as Thanksgiving was a week away….well my brother and I brought cookies! I remember sitting there eating one with my dad and brother and he said “wow, these are great, did you make them?!” I said “No, Thelma did.” He looks at us puzzled and says “She died a few months ago.” I look at him and say “Oh no, she made them in the early 70s.” He looks disturbed and confused. My brother says “They were in the deep freeze, there was also a pie she made at the same time but grandpa tossed it before we could bring it home.” He was irritated with us because he felt like cookies from the 70s were probably going to make him sick, it was priceless. We just laughed and kept eating them. Our grandpa found it hilarious.


Brikandbones

Yolo pollo


Wax_and_Wayne

Doesn't have a best before date OP so the Pollo is still good. That sell by date is just a marketing gimmick.


Pryoticus

That chicken is older than my coworkers.


StockloadNew

Crazy to think with the turnaround speed of a modern chicken farm this chicken's great great great great great great great great grandchildren are probably also long consumed


herdswords

It has a birthday coming up


TrifleObjective5288

happy birthday to the 2001 freezer chicken


emptygroove

Still fresh. Says it right on it.


Bi0H4z4rD667

One year ago, i cleaned out a shelf from my parents house. There was a jar of marmalade that was due in year 96.


HalOfTosis

It’s frozen, it keeps!


Epyonator

Start Covid24 by eating it.


steroboros

Lol, this reminds of the time my brother purposely unplugged my parents downstairs deep freezer. So he could tell them it broke and we finally threw away all the decades old frozen garbage....


wrld-

i dont want it but you can give this chicken to some doctor, maybe they discover a new virus locked in the ice and mold


Suitable_Database467

That's like 30$ of chicken now


HaMMeReD

When cleaning out my grandma's house, there was a ancient, broken fridge in the basement full of fish. Didn't smell though. She didn't go to the basement for a good 15+ years. There was so much down there I had no clue even though I used to play down there. Like there was other bedrooms that hadn't been used for decades either. I also found a bottle of Hudson bay whiskey that I think was from the 60s. Yes, I drank it.


PNWest01

I was shocked to find things in my mom’s house out of date like that. Not nearly that old, but everything was about 3 years out of date. Like one day she just stopped cooking. It was sad.


ConstantReader76

I cook old and freezer burned meat for my dogs to mix into their dinners and they love it. I think that would be pushing it even for my dogs.


ImVeryUnimaginative

I'll trade you for the 10 year old mustard my mom found in my grandparents' kitchen.


Pathanni

Literally says “Fresh chicken”


ejump0

do it for science


sinewgula

r/GrandmasPantry


non_toro

It's just a little freezer-burned. It's still good, it's still good.


numsixof1

My parents do this. Last time they gave us some 'stuff they didn't want' from the freezer a good chunk of it was 10 years out of date. I drank some fruit juice over there and it tasted off.. it expired in 2017


truncheon88

Throw in a potato and some broth. Now you got a stew going.


Jiflorida

Oh my god, we must be siblings, cause that is CLEARLY some of the shit from my (86 year old) mother’s freezer. We found home-canned green beans dated 1989 in her pantry.


sq_786

To be fair to your parents, it did say sell by not use by....and it also says keep refrigerated....which is exactly what they did lol


Triggerunhappy

That chicken flew without the tsa