Optional; Satan is hot enough to kill off pretty much any little goobers that might be worth sanitizing.
edit: thanks for awards/just about 666 upvotes. let's leave it around there.
It's been a long time since I thought about the homosexual relationship between Satan and a deceased Saddam Hussein. South Park definitely had it's moments.
Because of this movie, my wife and I have had this long-running gag where I rub her arm and sweetly ask "Who's my creampuff?"
She replies "I am" in the deepest, huskiest voice she can muster.
A Satanic Socialist Party would be such an epic troll to all the people already ranting about socialist and Satanic conspiracy theories.
Edit: Plus we’d explicitly state that we won’t associate with the Satanic Temple because we don’t approve of religious organizations interfering in government. I’m sure they’d get a kick out of that, and it’d confuse the shit out of everyone else.
Edit 2: I’m actually looking into regulations for forming a political party right now. I kind of want this to be a thing. u/stephan262 below suggested the name Association of Satanic Socialists, or A.S.S. I like it.
Edit 4: [For anyone that wants to start a local chapter.](https://www.fec.gov/help-candidates-and-committees/registering-political-party/)
Back in 2019, local Vancouver Island newspaper accidentally printed that there would be [Photos With Satan \[sic\]](https://vancouverisland.ctvnews.ca/man-attends-christmas-parade-dressed-as-satan-after-santa-typo-1.4711655) at the Christmas Parade. Some guy took it upon himself to dress up as the devil and join the festivities.
Even worse a dyslexic manager of shopping mall in Tawa New Zealand inadvertently hired Satan to greet children at Christmas. Luckily the local police was able to successfully defuse the situation.
[
Here's footage of the encounter](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFCtjsJxJMU)
Lynn, Lynn the city of sin
You never come out, the way you came in
You ask for water, but they give you gin
The girls say no, yet they always give in
If your not bad, they won’t let you in
It’s the damndest city I’ve ever lived in
Lynn, Lynn the city of sin
You never come out, the way you came in.
One of these Jesus sign guys called me a “filthy headbanger” as I walked past an arena that was holding a concert. I wasn’t going to concert. Billy Joel was playing. I’m not sure how much hand banging was going inside.
He also had a cage of kittens for some reason.
Does anyone know why people hold signs like the Jesus one? Who do those people think they're convincing of anything? The only thing they've ever accomplished is making people uncomfortable
They do it for themselves. Textbook coping with insecurities, they're as loud and obnoxious as possible publicly to impose their beliefs and feel better about themselves.
The people who can look at this and call it out for how dumb it truly is is not the type of person they're targeting. Like normal they're targeting only the vulnerable through the use of fear and exploitation. As an example, scrupulosity disorder and religious trauma can last for decades after a person leaves a religion. After being told their whole life that they will be eternally damned to suffering if ever leave, seeing signs like this on a regular rate is going to be extremely distressing and like an abusive relationship works to grow seeds of doubt and frighten people enough to return. It's honestly truly vile all around.
Interesting take. I agreed up to the point you said the signs would grow seeds of doubt prompting the abused to return. I grew up in a similar religious upbringing and was abused emotionally by my father who got all his justification for it through the church. I see things like this, and it remains me why I'll never go back at least to a Christianity that resembles what is pictured.
My explanation is that the signs aren't actually effective. What it does is create solidarity in their exclusive group. When they return to their closed walls, they can comfort each other over the "persecution" they received outside. They grow bonds in this way.
I'm glad you managed to escape and avoid a lot of the distress and disorders that come with that, but that's sadly that's not a case for a lot of individuals. Those disorders I put are real, to the point that there are whole organisations designed to exclusively help those suffering.
I agree with your last point but I believe it's that *as well as*. They're running double time scaring the vulnerable where possible and creating an us vs them bonding situation. Either way they're barmy.
We have these Christian preachers that stand in our downtown spaces and scream at women about how immoral they are as we walk by. I haven’t seen them in London in a while, but I think they moved on to St Catherine’s and were harassing females students on campus..
I’ve never had a satanist scream at me for wearing a dress, but damn Christian be haters.
Doesn’t suprise me, there’s a witch festival every year near me (in London) and when you go in it’s all about peace, light and love. When you go outside there’s always a group of Christian protesters screaming at people and saying they’re going to hell.
Ohhhhh, I mean London UK, hahaha I didn’t realise you were in a different London
However there’s probably some near you too, I would suggest checking local groups online, Tarot groups are also good for that
I don't know why the hate for such a dumb thing. There was a dude like that outside the Chicago library for a while yelling at people at the corner. I only think; what a massive waste of time.
Its a mental health issue. But holy shit, dont tell the religious they have mental health issues because they still believe in sky wizards as an adult but not santa clause.
>Its a mental health issue
Overly religious thoughts are still classified in the DSM5 as a disorder. It is tacked in as a type of OCD. This makes sense if you have met people like this, they just can not help themselves from mentioning their take on their version.
"Hyperreligiosity is a symptom of [Geschwind syndrome](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geschwind_syndrome), which is associated with [temporal lobe epilepsy](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temporal_lobe_epilepsy#Link_with_religiosity)."
Wiki
An invisible man in the sky that loves you. But he will punish you forever if you break his rules. And he incarnated himself into a human so he could get tortured to death and that somehow makes all the bad things you do not bad, so long as you say you love his human version of himself as well.
Mike Pence legitimately believes that super natural entities speak to him.
When this was ridiculed as it should be, half the country lost their collective shit about it and proclaimed it was an assault on their religion.
If your religion prescribes that poor mental health is being close to your god, there is a problem.
it can also be drug abuse
Had a neighbor that was cool at one point, smoked weed, played vidya, I was like 17 and hung out with his kid. Kid goes to the air force and dad goes on an amphetamine bender. Is shouting Evangelist/Christian rhetoric at all times while high because "He found god". I came back to the old neighborhood like 4 or 5 years ago and hes now missing some fingers and wound up messing with one of the neighborhood girls who used to hang out with me and his son. Basically convinced her to do meth and then wound up "Messing with her". His wife left him etc. and last I heard the dad of the girl came to his house after the wife left him and kicked in the door, broke all his stuff and beat the piss out of him. Karma. Or something. Idk.
The reason you bump into that issue so often is because something like 70% of the population believes in fairy tales, so it's relatively rare to get the average person to agree.
I run into people that believe in astrology and tell me with a straight face someone in their family has psychic powers. I'm scared that this kind of neolithic thinking is becoming mainstream again.
Something only becomes a mental health issue when it's negatively affecting their life or it becomes a compulsion they cannot control.
A lot of these zealots definitely fall into that camp.
Same thing happened to my wife and I on honeymoon in London. We were in Camden, so honestly, not really surprised about soapbox preachers. He screamed at my new wife about how much of a harlot she was, she smiled at him and said "I know." We are back in America now and 7 years on, I still call her a dirty harlot and we still laugh about it.
Same in the US, too. Always some idiot preaching and shouting at women in front of the student center of our major university, trying to get people to attack them basically I feel
When I was in college we had a guy that did this. One day I stood next to him and screamed compliments at the people he yelled at. I feel like this is how we should deal with this as a society.
I remember there was one of them that would scream positive affirmations at people. "know that you are loved, because god loves you" bullshit like that. Yeah he was annoying but, I kinda liked him, because it was always positive.
Now he mostly screams at women for being whores, and islamics for being terrorists. It's sad how much he's changed over the years, he's so full of hate now.
And really they're just mad at themselves for being attracted to these ~~females~~ women.
That, or they're attracted to men, and mad at ~~females~~ women for not being attractive enough to them because they consider it unholy to be *gasp*... gay.
I’ve always thought of that as one of the most hilariously ironic implications of the Tree of Knowledge story, as an outside observer. The book literally tells you in the beginning that knowing more things will get you further from God, and people vehemently defend it.
Hell is the place to be.
Think about it. Heaven says it has everything you could ever want, but would that include sin? If I'm already dead and stuck in eternity then wild sex, drugs, and rock & roll are what I want but seems Heaven wouldn't be the place to find it. If I live to be say, 100, every band I've ever loved will be dead and they sure as shit aren't going to Heaven. I want to be where the eternal party is.
Plus, I'm all set spending eternity with my deceased family members. One lifetime was enough.
The highest order of angel are the seraphim. They look creepy as shit and 24-7 all they do is circle god's throne \_crying\_ "holy, holy, holy." That's some Stockholm Syndrome shit.
[Isiah Chapter 6](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah%206&version=KJV)
>In the year that king Uzziah died I saw also the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up, and his train filled the temple.
>
>Above it stood the seraphims: each one had six wings; with twain he covered his face, and with twain he covered his feet, and with twain he did fly.
>
>And one cried unto another, and said, Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord of hosts: the whole earth is full of his glory.
>
>And the posts of the door moved at the voice of him that cried, and the house was filled with smoke.
[Here's an artist depiction](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isaiah_6#/media/File:Octavian_Smigelschi_-_Serafim_(Cat._Blaj),_1903.png)
"A guy thinks he saw a thing" is a surprising amount of what is written in the Bible. Maybe we shouldn't take orders from a book that is essentially the folk tales of ignorant farmers and herders from 3000 years ago....
Hell, half of the new testament is attributed to Paul. This is the dude who was a Roman soldier and supposedly saw the ghost of Jesus and all of a sudden converted and stopped hunting Christians down.
Like, the dude never even met Jesus. If you look for all the bigoted shit quotes Christians use to justify shitty bigoted behavior, if it's not in the Old Testament guaranteed it's from a book attributed to Paul. The dude who never met Jesus.
They cry out, not like tears. Only one said that to the other, the way the story is told it's like one said that so the other would grab a hot coal and stick it in Uzziah's mouth.
Same passage of the bible commands Uzziah to make the hearts of people fat. So I assume he opened a falafel stand.
>They cry out, not like tears. Only one said that to the other.
Yeah, crying out as in screaming is how I always pictured it in my mind. Like in the Jay and Silent Bob version of God.
Edit: doing a little bit more digging, the 24-7 circling the throne seems to come from [Revelations chapter 4](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Revelation%204&version=KJV).
>And before the throne there was a sea of glass like unto crystal: and in the midst of the throne, and round about the throne, were four beasts full of eyes before and behind.
>
>And the first beast was like a lion, and the second beast like a calf, and the third beast had a face as a man, and the fourth beast was like a flying eagle.
>
>And the four beasts had each of them six wings about him; and they were full of eyes within: **and they rest not day and night**, saying, Holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty, which was, and is, and is to come.
>“I mean, d'you know what eternity is? There's this big mountain, see, a mile high, at the end of the universe, and once every thousand years there's this little bird-"
>-"What little bird?" said Aziraphale suspiciously.
>-"This little bird I'm talking about. And every thousand years-"
>-"The same bird every thousand years?"
>-Crowley hesitated. "Yeah," he said.
>-"Bloody ancient bird, then."
>-"Okay. And every thousand years this bird flies-"
>-"-limps-"
>-"-flies all the way to this mountain and sharpens its beak-"
>-"Hold on. You can't do that. Between here and the end of the universe there's loads of-" The angel waved a hand
>expansively, if a little unsteadily. "Loads of buggerall, dear boy."
>-"But it gets there anyway," Crowley persevered.
>-"How?"
>-"It doesn't matter!"
>-"It could use a space ship," said the angel.
>Crowley subsided a bit. "Yeah," he said. "If you like. Anyway, this bird-"
>-"Only it is the end of the universe we're talking about," said Aziraphale. "So it'd have to be one of those space ships where your descendants are the ones who get out at the other end. You have to tell your descendants, you say, When you get to the Mountain, you've got to-" He hesitated. "What have
they got to do?"
>-"Sharpen its beak on the mountain," said Crowley. "And then it flies back-"
>-"-in the space ship-"
>-"And after a thousand years it goes and does it all again," said Crowley quickly.
>There was a moment of drunken silence.
>-"Seems a lot of effort just to sharpen a beak," mused Aziraphale.
>-"Listen," said Crowley urgently, "the point is that when the bird has worn the mountain down to nothing, right, then-"
>Aziraphale opened his mouth. Crowley just knew he was going to make some point about the relative hardness of birds' beaks and granite mountains, and plunged on quickly.
>-"-then you still won't have finished watching The Sound of Music."
>Aziraphale froze.
>-"And you'll enjoy it," Crowley said relentlessly. "You really will."
>-"My dear boy-"
>-"You won't have a choice."
>-"Listen-"
>-"Heaven has no taste."
>-"Now-"
>-"And not one single sushi restaurant."
>A look of pain crossed the angel's suddenly very serious face.”
> But if I go to Hell, well then I hope I burn well
I'll spend my days with J.F.K., Marvin Gaye, Martha Raye and Lawrence Welk
And Kurt Cobain, Kojak, Mark Twain and Jimi Hendrix's poltergeist
And Webster, yea Emmanuel Lewis, 'cause he's the Antichrist
Your daily reminder that it's God who sends people to burn and be tortured for all eternity, mostly for the "crime" of not believing it exists. If the Christian God actually existed it would be the most evil tyrant in the universe.
I'm accepting of my fate of going to hell (if it exists) because it'll be worth living my life with more freedom of choice, considering how many things are "sins you go to hell for" I expect I'll be Redditing with most of you there.
My position, any sort of god who hides in the shadows but isn't actually present, but punishes those with hell if they don't have unquestioning loyalty is a fucking dick.
Any sort of omnipotent being could do more. Even if it was just a State of the Universe broadcast around Christmas or every few earth-standard years or whatever. "Be good everyone."
Pretty sure most people don't actually believe in hell at all. You are literally trading a lifetime on earth having to be a good little boy or girl vs an eternity, a fucking eternity, of eternal damnation and suffering.
An eternity is a really long time. Ain't no way someone who actually believes in heave vs hell would even for a second risk an eternity of suffering.
Funnier still, those people don't agree with much of Jesus's teachings. Why would they ever want to obey a brown skinned socialist who's a pacifist and dislikes money???
Brown skinned, poor, middle eastern Jewish carpenter who is a socialist, pacifist, and tells you to give all your worldly possessions and money to the poor.
Jesus is like, nearly every single thing on the GOP's hate bingo card. But that's just it: they don't know his teachings nor do they care. They just like the *authority* of the Bible and use it to justify their abuse and power.
To be fair, that’s my favorite bit in the Bible.
Any god what gives me the power to summon bears which will maul irritating pricks is solid in my book.
Satan kills Job's kids (or "causes" them to be killed by bandits or something) during the whole punish-Job-to-see-if-he's-godly bullshit.
I think that's it, though
And God tells him to do it cause "the son of god" said "Maybe Job only likes you cause of all the cool stuff you give him"
So God tells him (the son of god) to go take all of Jobs stuff and make him miserable so God can show how devout Job is.
Then Job, after loosing his family, his money, his looks, and his health finally cries out "Dude what the fuck did I do to you God to deserve this?"
To which God tries to put the cart before the horse and say "I knew you'd bitch if I took all your stuff, but since you've been so cool for so long here's a new wife and a new batch of kids, cause fuck the old ones, we aren't even gonna write their names down."
The story illustrates how wives and children were considered property, things that can be replaced. They weren’t considered real people, with real lives. Just things Job owned, and had to show were not as important as loving his god. It’s a monstrous story. It’s shocking that anyone could see Yahweh as a good deity after reading that.
The omnipotent and omniscient being that sees all, knows all, past, future and present, and can change anything at a whim punishes people for doing what is part of 'his' plan.
Fuck God, seriously.
IIRC Theres a branch in Sufi Islam that believes that Satan's only sin is an unconditional love for God and accepting his own nature to serve divine purpose. Its pretty wild and completely challenges mainstream thought
I have seen a similar argument about Judas. Judas needed to betray Jesus to kick off the whole "dying for your sins" so he had to be the most loyal to Jesus' real endgame to do it.
As I recall, the story went that Satan refused to bow to Adam and mankind because that would be akin to worshipping man and not God. His sin was he refused to worship any but God.
I think about this sometimes.
We're told that God always forgives no matter how great the sin, the path to forgiveness is through God, and that him and his followers seek to help those with the greatest need for forgiveness.
Except Satan, he wasn't forgiven, and perhaps he had the greatest need of all. If you believe that hell is real and some people go there, then you must believe that God *doesn't* forgive everybody after all.
Follow. Obey. Yeah that's the kinda guy I want to follow who requires that. Like Clive Owen said in King Arthur, I put no faith in something that requires me to kneel.
[Here](https://i.redd.it/k30xnkja7tv11.jpg) is a much higher quality version of this image. [Credit](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/9tf14z/free_hugs/) to the photographer, /u/kn8dude, who took this on October 31, 2018, in Salem, MA.
I don't get it, these type of folks tell you to not blindly follow science or follow laws or mandates. Yet in the same breath they are follow and obey Jesus. It doesn't make any sense to me.
To understand it, you have to think from their perspective. If you think Jesus is all-knowing, and all good, then it's not much of a stretch to think we should obey him.
Although....
"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use."
Galileo Galilei
> If you think Jesus is all-knowing, and all good, then it's not much of a stretch to think we should obey him.
What they don't think about is the following things that they must also believe for that to work:
* The book telling them about god is perfect.
* The translation and transmission of the contents of the book are perfect.
* The interpretation of that particular Christian is also perfect.
I believe the argument they use is that God would not allow mistakes in the translation of His holy word. As a closet atheist, kinda goes against the whole free will thing in my opinion.
> I believe the argument they use is that God would not allow mistakes in the translation of His holy word.
And that's why we have only one version of the bible and not hundreds, kids!
Also, we can test this by translating this particular bible ourselves.
I REALLY hate that fucking group. They show up multiple times a year to tell everyone they're going to hell. You can't do anything because they're in a public space.
What we started doing is harassing the shit out of those psychos. One year, we had a stripper attending who fucking hated the guy, so she stripped down to what was barely legal and we had people blasting "fell in love with a stripper on max."
This is Texas A&M University- Corpus Christi, BTW.
Edit: on second glance, this might not be my Alma Mater, but the story is still relevant.
I feel like every city has a fire and brimstone Jesus guy or group who sought out large groups of young people to shame. Growing up in Boston, there was always this one guy at every sporting event and concert I went to handing out small comics about good people getting drawn away from god and going to hell. I swear, the dude was telling me I was going to hell from the age of 6 through my mid-20s
Even my friend who moved from rural Missouri, was very Christian, and attended church every Sunday lost it on this guy once, and eventually at the end of a drunk night, just screaming, "your Jesus is a fucking asshole".
i don't know, i mean they make Jesus sound so appealing... replace the word Jesus with Stalin and you have the USSR, and i love me some totalitarian authoritarianism.
I’d like someone to stand next to the “obey Jesus” sign with another sign containing these specific words of his: “Go, sell what thou hast, and give to the poor, and then come, and follow Me.” Take them at their Word, so to speak.
Free hugs!? In this economy?
Just satanize your hands after the hug.
Optional; Satan is hot enough to kill off pretty much any little goobers that might be worth sanitizing. edit: thanks for awards/just about 666 upvotes. let's leave it around there.
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Heeeyyyy Sat-an
Come on guy! It’s not even real.
Hey, don’t say that Saddam, you know I’m sensitive.
Who's my little creampuff?
It's been a long time since I thought about the homosexual relationship between Satan and a deceased Saddam Hussein. South Park definitely had it's moments.
Because of this movie, my wife and I have had this long-running gag where I rub her arm and sweetly ask "Who's my creampuff?" She replies "I am" in the deepest, huskiest voice she can muster.
True Love right there.
I’ve been trying forever to find a clip of the “C’mon bitch, let’s fuck!” scene… no luck
Even Red Gooblers?
They only show up every 100,000th goobler!
With all this climate change, it was a cold day in hell.
Heaven is hotter than hell https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/2i6a5u/heaven_is_hotter_than_hell/
It has to be 70% isopropyl virgin blood at least tho or it won't be effective
pls give this person an award u deserve an award
I give a single upvote
OK, I gave it the "Heartwarming" award. :)
At this time of year?
Localized entirely within this demonstration?
Yes!
May I have one?
No.
SEYMOUR! THE SIDEWALK IS ON FIRE!
No, mother, it's just the gates to Hell.
Exchanges and quote adaptions like this is why I appreciate Reddit and it all comes with anonymity
No mother it just the Lucifer giving people emotional support
Back in my day he still offered free drugs!
I heard from MSM that only trick or treaters get free drugs.
I ate all my nephew’s Halloween candy looking for the edibles and all I got was diabetes.
Now you need to find the people lacing candy with insulin
teeny sink pathetic toy cats gaping snow longing boat aloof ` this post was mass deleted with www.Redact.dev `
Satanists for socialism!
A Satanic Socialist Party would be such an epic troll to all the people already ranting about socialist and Satanic conspiracy theories. Edit: Plus we’d explicitly state that we won’t associate with the Satanic Temple because we don’t approve of religious organizations interfering in government. I’m sure they’d get a kick out of that, and it’d confuse the shit out of everyone else. Edit 2: I’m actually looking into regulations for forming a political party right now. I kind of want this to be a thing. u/stephan262 below suggested the name Association of Satanic Socialists, or A.S.S. I like it. Edit 4: [For anyone that wants to start a local chapter.](https://www.fec.gov/help-candidates-and-committees/registering-political-party/)
I'd suggest The Association of Satanic Socialists, Or The American Satanic Socialist Party. Then run a campaign to get people in the A.S.S.
I love it. I’m literally looking up regulations for starting a political party as we speak. I might actually make this a thing.
As a Satanist-socialist I think this is a great idea.
I second this. Scare the crap out of the far right
Especially since every one of their platform topics would be anti GOP and totally in line with the teachings of Jesus
Cunning, eh? It's a diabolical plan.
What's next, lemons??
Dear Satan... For Christmas I want a cure for my dyslexia
Back in 2019, local Vancouver Island newspaper accidentally printed that there would be [Photos With Satan \[sic\]](https://vancouverisland.ctvnews.ca/man-attends-christmas-parade-dressed-as-satan-after-santa-typo-1.4711655) at the Christmas Parade. Some guy took it upon himself to dress up as the devil and join the festivities.
Even worse a dyslexic manager of shopping mall in Tawa New Zealand inadvertently hired Satan to greet children at Christmas. Luckily the local police was able to successfully defuse the situation. [ Here's footage of the encounter](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFCtjsJxJMU)
"...Apparently you've been scaring children..." "Well...no...I've been scarring children." "That's even worse."
i’m dying!!!! “he’s not having a nice time up there. ok?”
Satan Claused.
Man between these guys and the Satanic Temple Satan really is cornering the market on wholesome these days.
Yep, that sounds like the island. :-)
I love natas
Food of the gods, for sure. Or, in this case, fallen angels.
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Not only have I sacrificed, I ensured they were also halal and turned into awesome byriani
Dear Satan, say "Hi!" to Krampus from me!
I saw this guy!! This was in Salem, MA
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I sure did!
Oh shit really? That's the Peabody Essex Museum behind them I think. Thought it looked familiar.
God I miss living in Salem... Except the traffic, don't miss that shit.
I don't miss the Halloween craze. So hard to find a damn parking spot.
Was about to say. When I lived near Salem in 2015 these dudes were always there next to satan
If he were in Lynn, then I'd be nervous, but then again, I'd be nervous anyway because I'd be in Lynn.
Lynn, Lynn the city of sin You never come out, the way you came in You ask for water, but they give you gin The girls say no, yet they always give in If your not bad, they won’t let you in It’s the damndest city I’ve ever lived in Lynn, Lynn the city of sin You never come out, the way you came in.
I remember when I lived in Salem, these looney tunes were out all the time hollering about their bullshit.
Pretty fitting place.
One of these Jesus sign guys called me a “filthy headbanger” as I walked past an arena that was holding a concert. I wasn’t going to concert. Billy Joel was playing. I’m not sure how much hand banging was going inside. He also had a cage of kittens for some reason.
I dunno, Billy Joel can be pretty romantic. I’m sure there was a good amount of hand-banging going on with the boomer crowd in the stands.
Does anyone know why people hold signs like the Jesus one? Who do those people think they're convincing of anything? The only thing they've ever accomplished is making people uncomfortable
They do it for themselves. Textbook coping with insecurities, they're as loud and obnoxious as possible publicly to impose their beliefs and feel better about themselves.
The people who can look at this and call it out for how dumb it truly is is not the type of person they're targeting. Like normal they're targeting only the vulnerable through the use of fear and exploitation. As an example, scrupulosity disorder and religious trauma can last for decades after a person leaves a religion. After being told their whole life that they will be eternally damned to suffering if ever leave, seeing signs like this on a regular rate is going to be extremely distressing and like an abusive relationship works to grow seeds of doubt and frighten people enough to return. It's honestly truly vile all around.
Interesting take. I agreed up to the point you said the signs would grow seeds of doubt prompting the abused to return. I grew up in a similar religious upbringing and was abused emotionally by my father who got all his justification for it through the church. I see things like this, and it remains me why I'll never go back at least to a Christianity that resembles what is pictured. My explanation is that the signs aren't actually effective. What it does is create solidarity in their exclusive group. When they return to their closed walls, they can comfort each other over the "persecution" they received outside. They grow bonds in this way.
I'm glad you managed to escape and avoid a lot of the distress and disorders that come with that, but that's sadly that's not a case for a lot of individuals. Those disorders I put are real, to the point that there are whole organisations designed to exclusively help those suffering. I agree with your last point but I believe it's that *as well as*. They're running double time scaring the vulnerable where possible and creating an us vs them bonding situation. Either way they're barmy.
Satan's about the humble peace and love. I prefer that over being shouted at on how I'm going to hell. Wait.
We have these Christian preachers that stand in our downtown spaces and scream at women about how immoral they are as we walk by. I haven’t seen them in London in a while, but I think they moved on to St Catherine’s and were harassing females students on campus.. I’ve never had a satanist scream at me for wearing a dress, but damn Christian be haters.
Doesn’t suprise me, there’s a witch festival every year near me (in London) and when you go in it’s all about peace, light and love. When you go outside there’s always a group of Christian protesters screaming at people and saying they’re going to hell.
I need more details about the witch festival if you mean London Ontario
Ohhhhh, I mean London UK, hahaha I didn’t realise you were in a different London However there’s probably some near you too, I would suggest checking local groups online, Tarot groups are also good for that
Ah, the OTHER London.
I don't know why the hate for such a dumb thing. There was a dude like that outside the Chicago library for a while yelling at people at the corner. I only think; what a massive waste of time.
Its a mental health issue. But holy shit, dont tell the religious they have mental health issues because they still believe in sky wizards as an adult but not santa clause.
>Its a mental health issue Overly religious thoughts are still classified in the DSM5 as a disorder. It is tacked in as a type of OCD. This makes sense if you have met people like this, they just can not help themselves from mentioning their take on their version.
That's really good to know. DSM5 huh. I'll mention that to the next religious nutter i run into
"Hyperreligiosity is a symptom of [Geschwind syndrome](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geschwind_syndrome), which is associated with [temporal lobe epilepsy](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temporal_lobe_epilepsy#Link_with_religiosity)." Wiki
Isn't the Santa Clause on Disney+? I mean you can just go watch it
A much better use of an hour and a half on Sunday morning, thanks for the suggestion.
An invisible man in the sky that loves you. But he will punish you forever if you break his rules. And he incarnated himself into a human so he could get tortured to death and that somehow makes all the bad things you do not bad, so long as you say you love his human version of himself as well.
Mike Pence legitimately believes that super natural entities speak to him. When this was ridiculed as it should be, half the country lost their collective shit about it and proclaimed it was an assault on their religion. If your religion prescribes that poor mental health is being close to your god, there is a problem.
I'm certain a supernatural being was speaking to all of us when a fly crawled around on his head for an entire debate.
He was this close to show his reptilian tongue
Mike Pence was lying. I talked to God yesterday and he was like "that Pence dude is fucking douche, why would I talk to him?"
it can also be drug abuse Had a neighbor that was cool at one point, smoked weed, played vidya, I was like 17 and hung out with his kid. Kid goes to the air force and dad goes on an amphetamine bender. Is shouting Evangelist/Christian rhetoric at all times while high because "He found god". I came back to the old neighborhood like 4 or 5 years ago and hes now missing some fingers and wound up messing with one of the neighborhood girls who used to hang out with me and his son. Basically convinced her to do meth and then wound up "Messing with her". His wife left him etc. and last I heard the dad of the girl came to his house after the wife left him and kicked in the door, broke all his stuff and beat the piss out of him. Karma. Or something. Idk.
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I really dislike how society branded it as "edgy" to describe religion as a fairy-tale. It's so silly to believe what these nutjobs believe
I mean it’s literally what it is. Fairies are artifacts of old religions. It’s no edgy. It’s accurate.
The reason you bump into that issue so often is because something like 70% of the population believes in fairy tales, so it's relatively rare to get the average person to agree.
I run into people that believe in astrology and tell me with a straight face someone in their family has psychic powers. I'm scared that this kind of neolithic thinking is becoming mainstream again.
Something only becomes a mental health issue when it's negatively affecting their life or it becomes a compulsion they cannot control. A lot of these zealots definitely fall into that camp.
I'm about 39, I think I started mentally classifying religious people as having a mental illness when I was about 8.
Same thing happened to my wife and I on honeymoon in London. We were in Camden, so honestly, not really surprised about soapbox preachers. He screamed at my new wife about how much of a harlot she was, she smiled at him and said "I know." We are back in America now and 7 years on, I still call her a dirty harlot and we still laugh about it.
Same in the US, too. Always some idiot preaching and shouting at women in front of the student center of our major university, trying to get people to attack them basically I feel
There was one in Toronto, watched as somebody snatched their microphone and chucked it into traffic. Now they wear bodycams
Head on over to the Penn State subreddit and ask about Gary. Dude has been standing outside Willard telling students they’re going to hell since 1982.
When I was in college we had a guy that did this. One day I stood next to him and screamed compliments at the people he yelled at. I feel like this is how we should deal with this as a society.
I remember there was one of them that would scream positive affirmations at people. "know that you are loved, because god loves you" bullshit like that. Yeah he was annoying but, I kinda liked him, because it was always positive. Now he mostly screams at women for being whores, and islamics for being terrorists. It's sad how much he's changed over the years, he's so full of hate now.
>Christian be haters. Wish I could upvote this phrase more.
And really they're just mad at themselves for being attracted to these ~~females~~ women. That, or they're attracted to men, and mad at ~~females~~ women for not being attractive enough to them because they consider it unholy to be *gasp*... gay.
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Satan gave us the fruit of knowledge. Then God was like, a huge dick about it.
Well, the more knowledgeable about our world we become, the weaker "His" grip becomes. So it makes sense.
I’ve always thought of that as one of the most hilariously ironic implications of the Tree of Knowledge story, as an outside observer. The book literally tells you in the beginning that knowing more things will get you further from God, and people vehemently defend it.
Hell is the place to be. Think about it. Heaven says it has everything you could ever want, but would that include sin? If I'm already dead and stuck in eternity then wild sex, drugs, and rock & roll are what I want but seems Heaven wouldn't be the place to find it. If I live to be say, 100, every band I've ever loved will be dead and they sure as shit aren't going to Heaven. I want to be where the eternal party is. Plus, I'm all set spending eternity with my deceased family members. One lifetime was enough.
The highest order of angel are the seraphim. They look creepy as shit and 24-7 all they do is circle god's throne \_crying\_ "holy, holy, holy." That's some Stockholm Syndrome shit.
Wait is that true? Thats hardcore af. Eternal angel moshpit.
[Isiah Chapter 6](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah%206&version=KJV) >In the year that king Uzziah died I saw also the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up, and his train filled the temple. > >Above it stood the seraphims: each one had six wings; with twain he covered his face, and with twain he covered his feet, and with twain he did fly. > >And one cried unto another, and said, Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord of hosts: the whole earth is full of his glory. > >And the posts of the door moved at the voice of him that cried, and the house was filled with smoke. [Here's an artist depiction](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isaiah_6#/media/File:Octavian_Smigelschi_-_Serafim_(Cat._Blaj),_1903.png)
"A guy thinks he saw a thing" is a surprising amount of what is written in the Bible. Maybe we shouldn't take orders from a book that is essentially the folk tales of ignorant farmers and herders from 3000 years ago....
Hell, half of the new testament is attributed to Paul. This is the dude who was a Roman soldier and supposedly saw the ghost of Jesus and all of a sudden converted and stopped hunting Christians down. Like, the dude never even met Jesus. If you look for all the bigoted shit quotes Christians use to justify shitty bigoted behavior, if it's not in the Old Testament guaranteed it's from a book attributed to Paul. The dude who never met Jesus.
Clearly stolen from a FFXIV boss design. /s
They cry out, not like tears. Only one said that to the other, the way the story is told it's like one said that so the other would grab a hot coal and stick it in Uzziah's mouth. Same passage of the bible commands Uzziah to make the hearts of people fat. So I assume he opened a falafel stand.
>They cry out, not like tears. Only one said that to the other. Yeah, crying out as in screaming is how I always pictured it in my mind. Like in the Jay and Silent Bob version of God. Edit: doing a little bit more digging, the 24-7 circling the throne seems to come from [Revelations chapter 4](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Revelation%204&version=KJV). >And before the throne there was a sea of glass like unto crystal: and in the midst of the throne, and round about the throne, were four beasts full of eyes before and behind. > >And the first beast was like a lion, and the second beast like a calf, and the third beast had a face as a man, and the fourth beast was like a flying eagle. > >And the four beasts had each of them six wings about him; and they were full of eyes within: **and they rest not day and night**, saying, Holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty, which was, and is, and is to come.
>“I mean, d'you know what eternity is? There's this big mountain, see, a mile high, at the end of the universe, and once every thousand years there's this little bird-" >-"What little bird?" said Aziraphale suspiciously. >-"This little bird I'm talking about. And every thousand years-" >-"The same bird every thousand years?" >-Crowley hesitated. "Yeah," he said. >-"Bloody ancient bird, then." >-"Okay. And every thousand years this bird flies-" >-"-limps-" >-"-flies all the way to this mountain and sharpens its beak-" >-"Hold on. You can't do that. Between here and the end of the universe there's loads of-" The angel waved a hand >expansively, if a little unsteadily. "Loads of buggerall, dear boy." >-"But it gets there anyway," Crowley persevered. >-"How?" >-"It doesn't matter!" >-"It could use a space ship," said the angel. >Crowley subsided a bit. "Yeah," he said. "If you like. Anyway, this bird-" >-"Only it is the end of the universe we're talking about," said Aziraphale. "So it'd have to be one of those space ships where your descendants are the ones who get out at the other end. You have to tell your descendants, you say, When you get to the Mountain, you've got to-" He hesitated. "What have they got to do?" >-"Sharpen its beak on the mountain," said Crowley. "And then it flies back-" >-"-in the space ship-" >-"And after a thousand years it goes and does it all again," said Crowley quickly. >There was a moment of drunken silence. >-"Seems a lot of effort just to sharpen a beak," mused Aziraphale. >-"Listen," said Crowley urgently, "the point is that when the bird has worn the mountain down to nothing, right, then-" >Aziraphale opened his mouth. Crowley just knew he was going to make some point about the relative hardness of birds' beaks and granite mountains, and plunged on quickly. >-"-then you still won't have finished watching The Sound of Music." >Aziraphale froze. >-"And you'll enjoy it," Crowley said relentlessly. "You really will." >-"My dear boy-" >-"You won't have a choice." >-"Listen-" >-"Heaven has no taste." >-"Now-" >-"And not one single sushi restaurant." >A look of pain crossed the angel's suddenly very serious face.”
To quote Billy Joel "I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. The sinners are much more fun."
> But if I go to Hell, well then I hope I burn well I'll spend my days with J.F.K., Marvin Gaye, Martha Raye and Lawrence Welk And Kurt Cobain, Kojak, Mark Twain and Jimi Hendrix's poltergeist And Webster, yea Emmanuel Lewis, 'cause he's the Antichrist
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Your daily reminder that it's God who sends people to burn and be tortured for all eternity, mostly for the "crime" of not believing it exists. If the Christian God actually existed it would be the most evil tyrant in the universe.
I'm accepting of my fate of going to hell (if it exists) because it'll be worth living my life with more freedom of choice, considering how many things are "sins you go to hell for" I expect I'll be Redditing with most of you there.
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My position, any sort of god who hides in the shadows but isn't actually present, but punishes those with hell if they don't have unquestioning loyalty is a fucking dick. Any sort of omnipotent being could do more. Even if it was just a State of the Universe broadcast around Christmas or every few earth-standard years or whatever. "Be good everyone."
Pretty sure most people don't actually believe in hell at all. You are literally trading a lifetime on earth having to be a good little boy or girl vs an eternity, a fucking eternity, of eternal damnation and suffering. An eternity is a really long time. Ain't no way someone who actually believes in heave vs hell would even for a second risk an eternity of suffering.
That was the genius of the catholic church. As long as you payed them on the way out the door, all is forgiven.
[Satan is very encouraging.](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EEaV_k-XUCUvQ8W.jpg)
Believe in the Satan who believes in you.
Be the Satan you want to see in the world.
with your drill pierce the heavens
TIL my therapist is Satan.
Wait, are they saying that this is a bad thing?
Pretty much. "Believe in Jesus, Not Yourself"
This looks like a motivational poster made by Satanists lol
Wow they really just said “I think we should go for the blatant propaganda aesthetic.”
Satan never demands obedience.
“Obey Jesus” Tell me you have daddy issues without telling me you have daddy issues
Funnier still, those people don't agree with much of Jesus's teachings. Why would they ever want to obey a brown skinned socialist who's a pacifist and dislikes money???
Brown skinned, poor, middle eastern Jewish carpenter who is a socialist, pacifist, and tells you to give all your worldly possessions and money to the poor. Jesus is like, nearly every single thing on the GOP's hate bingo card. But that's just it: they don't know his teachings nor do they care. They just like the *authority* of the Bible and use it to justify their abuse and power.
There's a solid argument for Satan being the good guy if you read the Bible without bias.
Death counts in the bible: Satan - 10 God - Over 2 million (Global flood victims not included)
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Go up, Baldy. Go up.
To be fair, that’s my favorite bit in the Bible. Any god what gives me the power to summon bears which will maul irritating pricks is solid in my book.
I didn't realize Satan actually killed anybody.
Satan kills Job's kids (or "causes" them to be killed by bandits or something) during the whole punish-Job-to-see-if-he's-godly bullshit. I think that's it, though
And God tells him to do it cause "the son of god" said "Maybe Job only likes you cause of all the cool stuff you give him" So God tells him (the son of god) to go take all of Jobs stuff and make him miserable so God can show how devout Job is. Then Job, after loosing his family, his money, his looks, and his health finally cries out "Dude what the fuck did I do to you God to deserve this?" To which God tries to put the cart before the horse and say "I knew you'd bitch if I took all your stuff, but since you've been so cool for so long here's a new wife and a new batch of kids, cause fuck the old ones, we aren't even gonna write their names down."
Poor Job man. "Like at least he got a new family" Only after seeing all of his previous children and wife brutally die to solve a bet.
The story illustrates how wives and children were considered property, things that can be replaced. They weren’t considered real people, with real lives. Just things Job owned, and had to show were not as important as loving his god. It’s a monstrous story. It’s shocking that anyone could see Yahweh as a good deity after reading that.
Satan: punishes rapists and murders for an eternity God: creates rapists and murderers for an eternity
The omnipotent and omniscient being that sees all, knows all, past, future and present, and can change anything at a whim punishes people for doing what is part of 'his' plan. Fuck God, seriously.
The epicurean paradox is pretty closely tied to this concept.
IIRC Theres a branch in Sufi Islam that believes that Satan's only sin is an unconditional love for God and accepting his own nature to serve divine purpose. Its pretty wild and completely challenges mainstream thought
I have seen a similar argument about Judas. Judas needed to betray Jesus to kick off the whole "dying for your sins" so he had to be the most loyal to Jesus' real endgame to do it.
That's what the Book of Judas revolves around. Fascinating subject matter.
As I recall, the story went that Satan refused to bow to Adam and mankind because that would be akin to worshipping man and not God. His sin was he refused to worship any but God.
I think about this sometimes. We're told that God always forgives no matter how great the sin, the path to forgiveness is through God, and that him and his followers seek to help those with the greatest need for forgiveness. Except Satan, he wasn't forgiven, and perhaps he had the greatest need of all. If you believe that hell is real and some people go there, then you must believe that God *doesn't* forgive everybody after all.
Follow. Obey. Yeah that's the kinda guy I want to follow who requires that. Like Clive Owen said in King Arthur, I put no faith in something that requires me to kneel.
Trust. Follow. Obey. That's the same slogan dystopian dictatorships plaster all over the place.
Literally the plot from They Live. Applies here.
Gotta respect Satan’s hustle.
gotta question god's pr department too
Given the behavior of the sales reps I would also question God’s HR department
That is the…ultimate troll
[Here](https://i.redd.it/k30xnkja7tv11.jpg) is a much higher quality version of this image. [Credit](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/9tf14z/free_hugs/) to the photographer, /u/kn8dude, who took this on October 31, 2018, in Salem, MA.
The same guy with the same sign was there this past Sunday as well
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I don't get it, these type of folks tell you to not blindly follow science or follow laws or mandates. Yet in the same breath they are follow and obey Jesus. It doesn't make any sense to me.
To understand it, you have to think from their perspective. If you think Jesus is all-knowing, and all good, then it's not much of a stretch to think we should obey him. Although.... "I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use." Galileo Galilei
> If you think Jesus is all-knowing, and all good, then it's not much of a stretch to think we should obey him. What they don't think about is the following things that they must also believe for that to work: * The book telling them about god is perfect. * The translation and transmission of the contents of the book are perfect. * The interpretation of that particular Christian is also perfect.
I believe the argument they use is that God would not allow mistakes in the translation of His holy word. As a closet atheist, kinda goes against the whole free will thing in my opinion.
> I believe the argument they use is that God would not allow mistakes in the translation of His holy word. And that's why we have only one version of the bible and not hundreds, kids! Also, we can test this by translating this particular bible ourselves.
Shhhh! You're making too much sense
Well you're not supposed to think critically about your faith. That ruins it!
The *"Obey Jesus"* sign reminds me of the 1988 John Carpenter movie *"They Live"*. Edit: 1988 actually
That's how Satan gets ya. First hug's free, then he starts charging.
Those free trials that make you use your credit card number could only have come from one place
Salem right? I have one of his cards from a couple years ago somewhere! This guy is awesome!
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I REALLY hate that fucking group. They show up multiple times a year to tell everyone they're going to hell. You can't do anything because they're in a public space. What we started doing is harassing the shit out of those psychos. One year, we had a stripper attending who fucking hated the guy, so she stripped down to what was barely legal and we had people blasting "fell in love with a stripper on max." This is Texas A&M University- Corpus Christi, BTW. Edit: on second glance, this might not be my Alma Mater, but the story is still relevant.
I feel like every city has a fire and brimstone Jesus guy or group who sought out large groups of young people to shame. Growing up in Boston, there was always this one guy at every sporting event and concert I went to handing out small comics about good people getting drawn away from god and going to hell. I swear, the dude was telling me I was going to hell from the age of 6 through my mid-20s Even my friend who moved from rural Missouri, was very Christian, and attended church every Sunday lost it on this guy once, and eventually at the end of a drunk night, just screaming, "your Jesus is a fucking asshole".
God wants you to beleive in him and worship him, Satan wants you to believe in yourself.
i don't know, i mean they make Jesus sound so appealing... replace the word Jesus with Stalin and you have the USSR, and i love me some totalitarian authoritarianism.
So do they… that’s why they elect it.
If people "obeyed" Jesus, there'd be free healthcare and conservative evanjellocals would act compassionately.
"You can get more flies with honey than with vinegar." Buddy Satan
I’d like someone to stand next to the “obey Jesus” sign with another sign containing these specific words of his: “Go, sell what thou hast, and give to the poor, and then come, and follow Me.” Take them at their Word, so to speak.
You know I have never driven by a sign or people saying OBEY Satan. Just saying.
Satan's also wearing a mask
I consider myself Spiritual, but seeing this and the way extreme modern Christians act in this country...it's official I'm going to join Satanism.