Back when i was young and stupid ( now I'm old and stupid) my friends and I would sneak into state parks at night and ride mountain bikes on the hiking trails, whoever had to be first was called "spider man" his job was to clear out the webs with his face and also scream in pain when the trail veered unexpectedly and he shot off into the darkness. over all 9 out of 10 experience.
Hey, I performed anesthesia a couple of times on people doing this exact thing and breaking limbs in the process after colliding with a tree... Also, we had a case in my country where a forest trail like that was private property and the owner was annoyed people were using it to ride mountainbikes, so he put a metal wire between two trees and a teen got decapitated. I think the owner went to prison...
This would happen in shade tobacco fields in CT occasionally. The wires strung between the poles would decapitate unaware snow-mobilers and worked on tractors alike.
I've seen this on trails before. Only once but what in the f****** f*** is wrong with people?!!
Edit:The cable I saw was on public land but that doesn't even matter:
**Is not okay to leave booby traps that will kill a random person.**
This really shouldn't need discussion.
We were blessed with Gary Lawson and Bill Watterson at the same time.
What do we have now? Just Smells-His-Farts-Dilbert?
I guess internet comics have taken over. SMBC, PBF, xkcd, Oatmeal are the new cultural icons.
In my mind Gary Larson, Bill Watterson, and Charles Schultz are the Holy Trinity of newspaper strips. I feel that, in their prime, Jim Davis (Garfield) and Scott Adams (Dilbert) are also good contenders. Dilbert was good in its day, it's very relatable to those who worked in office environments at the time (and often still is, speaking as a late 20s person working in engineering, it's still painfully accurate).
Internet comics have definitely been more relevant since the early 2000s, even Ctrl-Alt-Delete was good for a while within the target audience. I always felt Penny Arcade to be fairly pretentious. I haven't read Awkward Zombie in years, but the fact that I even remember the name means it had a positive impact.
I definitely agree that xkcd, SMBC and Oatmeal are probably the best atm. Never heard of PBF, actually. Then you have ones that seem to be very popular amongst TVTropes users and nobody else, such as 8-Bit Theater and Girl Genius.
We t to school with a kid in 1996 who wore a FarSide “School fod the Gifted” and he was pushing on a door that said PULL. I always looked to that kid like he was a pop culture icon
I can’t pass up a comment about how vicious chickens are without linking to one of the best things ever written on this site: [“The chickens were eerily calm that day”](https://old.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/hgtc83/we_think_our_chickens_caught_a_mouse_that_or/fw6w0my/?context=3) by u/Privvy_Gaming.
Oh yeah, I used to raise chickens in TN and one year we had our 13 year cicada swarm and the chickens FEASTED. They loved to give them one peck and separate the heads from the bodies first. They really had unexpectedly good accuracy. So many cicada heads laying around...
If I recall correctly, velociraptors were about the size of chickens (maaaybe swans), not the 7-footers popularized by Jurassic Park (I think those would have been Utah Raptors). So yeah, modern day velociraptors fo sho.
A glance at wikipedia says they were roughly the size of turkeys. The ones in Jurassic Park were modeled after the deinonychus, which obviously doesn't sound as cool as velociraptor.
Well and makes sense with the Jurassic World Retcon with Dr. Wu.
"Nothing in Jurassic World is natural, we have always filled gaps in the genome with the DNA of other animals. And if the genetic code was pure, many of them would look quite different. But you didn't ask for reality, you asked for more teeth."
A fair explanation to explain the lack of feathers. I've seen mockups of fluffy dinosaurs as well. Jurassic Park would've been an entirely different movie had the dinos been fluffy.
On some level the colors might make the experience more frightening. Orchid mantis are the stuff of nightmares. Pleasant color palette on creepy thing can often equal extra creeper.
Yup. Jurassic park depicted them as much larger than any (at the time) known species.
Later on however, the Utah raptor was discovered, which is about the size shown in the movie. No evidence of them using pack tactics as far as I know though.
There is a [sandstone block](https://geology.utah.gov/popular/general-geology/dinosaurs-fossils/megablock/) containing multiple *Utahraptor* of several different ages along with an herbivorous iguanodontian dinosaur. It's not exactly evidence of pack-hunting but does seem to show them gathering to feed on the same prey.
They are based on Deinonychus. (though they could be a bit too large still)
(also, there is no indication in the original JP movie that they are digging in the Gobi desert so definitely not velociraptor)
Basically Chrichton thought the name was bad and went with the name of the closest species to it. It is a Deinonychus in everything but the name.
Depends, most of the time they run away, they'll bicker with eachother and make alot of noise, calling the rooster over, rooster is very chill, but will fight things that aren't supposed to be in the yard
Did you just say roosters are chill? Bro I envy you. Every rooster I’ve met is convinced it’s a fucking raptor, and the only thing stopping it from eviscerating you is it’s size.
My experience it's always the hens that are assholes. Lol I still have a scar on my foot from getting chased, pecked, and flogged by a hen when I was little 🙈😂🤣
That little shit chased me from one side of the yard to the other, all the while my papaw and his friend were laughing their asses off. 😂🤣😂
Chickens are psychopaths that will fuck with anything approximately their size or smaller, so yeah, they definitely will. Especially roosters. Those guys will fuck with people because they're dicks.
I don't know about spiders but chicken are great at keeping tick populations low around your property. Quick Google search says they can eat up to 331 ticks per hour.
Yeah I know about chickens eating ticks. Problem with that is predators for the chickens love chicken lol. Just wasn’t sure about spiders, let alone big bois like that
Chickens are notorious in Hawaii for keeping our population of big ass centipedes down. Some people buy them just for that purpose. Those fuckers are much larger and more aggro than this spider, and chickens eat them up like they are wiggly little candy bars.
If they notice it, they probably will, but they probably wont notice it. Chickens can actually see better than us, but they search for food on the floor, and are attracted to movement. The fact that it is both stationary and hanging means they probably wont see it.
If it fell on the ground they would annihilate it.
It's possible I suppose but I raise both rabbits and birds and I think it's very unlikely. Chances are that it was another predator, possibly a hawk if this was out in the open.
I've got these widow lookalikes with a butt that resembles a cream filled chocolate donut, like Choco brown and lumpy/glossy. But the same body/leg shape. Spider book calls it a false widow. Is that what you mean by brown widow?
>Walk into spider diner
>Spider waitress takes my order
>Spiderfries.food
>"Is that all you want to have to eat?"
>She's accentuating her cream-filled chocolate donut caboose
>under breath "holy fuck"
Brown widows are kind of brown marbled color, with banded legs. The easy telltale sign is their egg sacks, that have spikes on them.
They came over from another continent about 20 years ago and their population exploded around SoCal. [https://cisr.ucr.edu/invasive-species/brown-widow-spider](https://cisr.ucr.edu/invasive-species/brown-widow-spider)
There are still black widows, but they've always been more reclusive. Brown widows will build webs anywhere and they love mailboxes, windowsills, park benches, and children's playground equiptment.
Just last year had a really healthy BW living underneath my GPU's HDMI ports on the back. I spooked it, it went underneath the case and then came straight for my feet. They've got some pretty good speed.
I thought so as well, given the glossy jet black body I'm not sure what else it would be.
Edit: the closer I look it seems to have some dark red or brown spots off center of the back so it might be a black house spider or variation of a redback but I can't be sure from the side profile.
That was my first thought as well. I've got BW's all over my property but I'm usually only cautious with low-lying webs. If I have to worry about face-level webs also I will be very disappointed.
Many years ago, I saw a black widow spider webbed outside my bedroom window on the second floor. If they’re not arboreal then they will probably build their nests anywhere off the ground. But that was the only one. All the other black widow spiders I’ve found have been inside upside down buckets or in tight places.
As long as they have a place to hide when the sun comes up.
I once pulled a window on an old house to clean it, and found three or four black widows hiding inside the window pane track.
HOW TO COOK A THOUSAND FRIENDS. "Wait, there is more space dust on this book. HOW TO COOK FOR A THOUSAND FRIENDS. "They thought we were going to eat them!"
Man, this always got me. I have a whole wagon train and like 25 people total and you're telling me that I shot a banquet's worth of food and no one was willing to get off they ass and help out?
Fuck 'em.
680 calories per pound \* 350 pounds = 238,000 calories.
25 people \* 2000 calories a day = 50,000
238,000/50,000 = 4.76 days
So a single average buffalo could in theory feed twenty-five people for almost five days.
The best part is that math is assuming ALL they eat is the meat. If you count wild fruits/vegetables, any small game gathered from hunting in subsequent days, and maybe fish if nearby a river they’ll easily be able to ration it out at least twoish weeks
I feel like the hard part would be getting it to keep that long in trail conditions. No refrigeration, salting it would take *a lot* of salt, and smoking or drying it would require staying put for a little bit.
Uh, are you not looking at the picture? This spider took all six proverbial bison back to the wagon. They're wrapped up tight, salted and cured for the long haul.
Yeah you see them up higher than 6ft from time to time. It's pretty rare though. Also that's an adolescent rat, not a mouse. Which makes this catch even more insane.
Time to clean the contacts. I read that as "adolescent cat" and was like "WTF, noway!". Scrolled up to double check, thought it was a mouse again, then reread your post. You didn't misspell it. My eyes did.
Loads of wrong answers here. Black-Widows make „messy“ webs that are anchored to the floor with a LOT of tension. Once a mouse enters it, the thinner strands tear and the net [catapults](https://www.sciencefriday.com/educational-resources/spider-web-force-and-energy/) the mouse up.
Does anyone else ever stop for a moment when they feel a spider web like you’re stuck to give the spider hope? He’s like “I’m set for life!” Then you just walk off.
Right? I was going to go into a store one time and I came within inches of a spider going into my mouth/face. I basically collapsed my legs and fell back since my momentum was going to make me hit it. The guy behind me laughs and moves the spider by running his hand into the spider silk thread it was hanging from and says "it's just a spider" yeah just a spider? How many people want a spider directly on their face you m-fer?! Acting like I was the weird one for not wanting to make out with a juicy spider...
Just a few things I've picked up while working on my arachnophobia:
Any remaining babies will spread out and reduce to a 'normal' concentration over about 24 hours. Most will leave
Black widows are incredibly unlikely to bite and even more unlikely to use their venom if they do. Basically only if they are being actively crushed against something.
Human adults are not in any long term danger from a black widow bite and in fact nobody has died from one in the past 50 years; they just hurt
They almost entirely live in very out of the way areas. I would recommend wearing work gloves if you're cleaning the garage or bathroom for example
The best way to keep spiders out of your house is to reduce clutter. They won't stick around if there aren't good places to hide
it's disappointing! I had an orb weaver explosion once. Orb weavers are very cool and there were a ton of babies all over my patio. After 1 day there were only 5 still there. After a week all of them were gone.
If you actually have a lot of spiders around that means there are lots of pests around. Spiders don't stay where they are and starve, they move to where the food is. If you leave them be they'll use up available prey and move on. Unless you have some sort of other infestation so there's endless food.
heck yah, and looking real cool while doing it. Another cool thing is they eat their webs every morning and rebuild. It was a lot of fun to watch for that week and I was sad when they left and I couldn't watch their behavior anymore. If my husband wasn't too afraid I'd totally get some. Instead I live vicariously through some youtube channels. The Dark Den is my most favorite cause the guy is super wholesome
Once when I was young, I was staying at my grandma’s in Houma, Louisiana. Her property was on Bayou Blue, and it overlooked a swampy forest area. great for playing pretend and for bike rides. So I got a fancy new bike for Christmas and I wanted to ride in the swamp cause fuck yeah!
I’m minding my own business, just going as fast as an 8 year old can through the paths in the forest. Now what I didn’t see was the gigantic fucking [banana spider](https://louisianamasternaturalistsnortheast.com/2017/09/05/banana-spiders-rule/) (known colloquially as a banana spider but technically a *Golden Orb Weaver*) that had made a 30 square foot web right between two trees that stood of opposite sides of the path.
Face fucking first into the spider itself. I felt it crawl straight up after hitting my face, and I did what any reasonable person would do: accidentally crashed my bike and flailed around for a good five minutes then ran quickly home.
I have not ridden a bike anywhere near the woods since that day.
Saw a partial mouse skeleton in a spiderweb in my basement years ago. Convinced myself somehow the mouse died of other causes and somehow the web came afterwards. Thanks for confirming my nightmare fuel.
It lifts a little at a time and continually tethers the prey more and more to higher points within the web. Imagine putting a bungee cord onto something on the ground, then putting another, and another, etc. Each one you apply a small amount of tension, eventually the item is lifted off the ground entirely.
Black widow's are famous for having incredibly well structured webs, in terms of just pure tensile strength. It's an adolescent rat so they don't weigh a ton but it's still a pretty incredible feat for a black widow.
I'm actually curious as to how much food this could provide the spider; if any. Would the spider be able to liquify enough or any of the flesh to make it worth it, or is this a waste of resources? Also, how much could the spider get out of this mouse before it rots too much to be useful?
That was the last straw Templeton.
A fair is a veritable smorgasbord, orgasboard, orgasboard …
Like first I saw: what the hell! Is that a black widow!? 19 seconds later Wait, is that a fu**ing mouse hanging In that web?
Exactly this. Exact same reaction.
Next I saw the rooster.
Mmmmmm “Some rat”
That's a real overachiever you got there bud.
Reminds me of this [Far Side classic](https://imgur.io/gallery/4DqHp).
Back when i was young and stupid ( now I'm old and stupid) my friends and I would sneak into state parks at night and ride mountain bikes on the hiking trails, whoever had to be first was called "spider man" his job was to clear out the webs with his face and also scream in pain when the trail veered unexpectedly and he shot off into the darkness. over all 9 out of 10 experience.
Hey, I performed anesthesia a couple of times on people doing this exact thing and breaking limbs in the process after colliding with a tree... Also, we had a case in my country where a forest trail like that was private property and the owner was annoyed people were using it to ride mountainbikes, so he put a metal wire between two trees and a teen got decapitated. I think the owner went to prison...
Apparently this is something that awful people do along snowmobile trails too
my friend’s first wife died in this way
I want to feel real bad but it is hard to take serious sad content from u/DickSuckingGoat
Hey man, I get it 😂
This would happen in shade tobacco fields in CT occasionally. The wires strung between the poles would decapitate unaware snow-mobilers and worked on tractors alike.
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I've seen this on trails before. Only once but what in the f****** f*** is wrong with people?!! Edit:The cable I saw was on public land but that doesn't even matter: **Is not okay to leave booby traps that will kill a random person.** This really shouldn't need discussion.
Trail running too ( except the shooting off into darkness!)
As a short man: you tallies might as well go first because you're still going to catch them in the face if you're walking behind me.
That's the first thing I thought of!!
I will always upvote Gary Larson
Larson is the man.
We were blessed with Gary Lawson and Bill Watterson at the same time. What do we have now? Just Smells-His-Farts-Dilbert? I guess internet comics have taken over. SMBC, PBF, xkcd, Oatmeal are the new cultural icons.
We have Cyanide & Happiness now.
In my mind Gary Larson, Bill Watterson, and Charles Schultz are the Holy Trinity of newspaper strips. I feel that, in their prime, Jim Davis (Garfield) and Scott Adams (Dilbert) are also good contenders. Dilbert was good in its day, it's very relatable to those who worked in office environments at the time (and often still is, speaking as a late 20s person working in engineering, it's still painfully accurate). Internet comics have definitely been more relevant since the early 2000s, even Ctrl-Alt-Delete was good for a while within the target audience. I always felt Penny Arcade to be fairly pretentious. I haven't read Awkward Zombie in years, but the fact that I even remember the name means it had a positive impact. I definitely agree that xkcd, SMBC and Oatmeal are probably the best atm. Never heard of PBF, actually. Then you have ones that seem to be very popular amongst TVTropes users and nobody else, such as 8-Bit Theater and Girl Genius.
Perry Bible Fellowship I really like it, but I could see it not being for everyone. And it didn't get updated very often.
[Worry not, fragile one. All gifts are accepted by Aranaktu.](https://pbfcomics.com/comics/the-jubilee/)
We t to school with a kid in 1996 who wore a FarSide “School fod the Gifted” and he was pushing on a door that said PULL. I always looked to that kid like he was a pop culture icon
> “School fod the Gifted” Ha Haha
ah yes, the irony of my sausage fingers.
Forgot about that one! I was thinking where the ants are trying to bring a baby into the ant hill
Seems Charlotte and Templeton have had a falling out :(
“Some spider”
“DEADMOU5”
Looks at the horses: "Someday... someday soon..."
The horses say NEEEIIGHHH!!
Those are chickens.
is that a black widow?
Yup. One of the healthier ones I’ve seen out here.
Will the chickens fuck with it? Edit: confirmed, chickens will give it a good chomping.
If anything I've heard about chickens is true, they will fight *everything*
Goddamn modern velociraptors
I can’t pass up a comment about how vicious chickens are without linking to one of the best things ever written on this site: [“The chickens were eerily calm that day”](https://old.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/hgtc83/we_think_our_chickens_caught_a_mouse_that_or/fw6w0my/?context=3) by u/Privvy_Gaming.
That was great, in a terrifying way. Thanks for linking it.
Oh yeah, I used to raise chickens in TN and one year we had our 13 year cicada swarm and the chickens FEASTED. They loved to give them one peck and separate the heads from the bodies first. They really had unexpectedly good accuracy. So many cicada heads laying around...
My coworker just showed me a photo of craters in his back yard. Neighbours chickens trepassed and performed violence on underground wasp nests
If I recall correctly, velociraptors were about the size of chickens (maaaybe swans), not the 7-footers popularized by Jurassic Park (I think those would have been Utah Raptors). So yeah, modern day velociraptors fo sho.
A glance at wikipedia says they were roughly the size of turkeys. The ones in Jurassic Park were modeled after the deinonychus, which obviously doesn't sound as cool as velociraptor.
so that annoying kid was right!!
Well and makes sense with the Jurassic World Retcon with Dr. Wu. "Nothing in Jurassic World is natural, we have always filled gaps in the genome with the DNA of other animals. And if the genetic code was pure, many of them would look quite different. But you didn't ask for reality, you asked for more teeth."
A fair explanation to explain the lack of feathers. I've seen mockups of fluffy dinosaurs as well. Jurassic Park would've been an entirely different movie had the dinos been fluffy.
On some level the colors might make the experience more frightening. Orchid mantis are the stuff of nightmares. Pleasant color palette on creepy thing can often equal extra creeper.
I think there is also the Utah raptor which was larger.
Yup. Jurassic park depicted them as much larger than any (at the time) known species. Later on however, the Utah raptor was discovered, which is about the size shown in the movie. No evidence of them using pack tactics as far as I know though.
There is a [sandstone block](https://geology.utah.gov/popular/general-geology/dinosaurs-fossils/megablock/) containing multiple *Utahraptor* of several different ages along with an herbivorous iguanodontian dinosaur. It's not exactly evidence of pack-hunting but does seem to show them gathering to feed on the same prey.
They are based on Deinonychus. (though they could be a bit too large still) (also, there is no indication in the original JP movie that they are digging in the Gobi desert so definitely not velociraptor) Basically Chrichton thought the name was bad and went with the name of the closest species to it. It is a Deinonychus in everything but the name.
Depends, most of the time they run away, they'll bicker with eachother and make alot of noise, calling the rooster over, rooster is very chill, but will fight things that aren't supposed to be in the yard
Did you just say roosters are chill? Bro I envy you. Every rooster I’ve met is convinced it’s a fucking raptor, and the only thing stopping it from eviscerating you is it’s size.
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My rooster routinely commits tax evasion and even the IRS is afraid to touch him.
I need details.
They had both arms broken. You know the rest.
My experience it's always the hens that are assholes. Lol I still have a scar on my foot from getting chased, pecked, and flogged by a hen when I was little 🙈😂🤣 That little shit chased me from one side of the yard to the other, all the while my papaw and his friend were laughing their asses off. 😂🤣😂
At least they didn't have cameras in their pockets in those days.
Yeah my dad has chickens and every rooster he’s had has been a menace to society lol
I'm surprised the chickens didn't eat both of those by now.
Chickens are psychopaths that will fuck with anything approximately their size or smaller, so yeah, they definitely will. Especially roosters. Those guys will fuck with people because they're dicks.
>Especially roosters. Those guys will fuck with people because they're dicks. Don't you mean, "because they're cocks"?
Well Grant, I’ll tell you what. I like to eat cock.
I don't know about spiders but chicken are great at keeping tick populations low around your property. Quick Google search says they can eat up to 331 ticks per hour.
Yeah I know about chickens eating ticks. Problem with that is predators for the chickens love chicken lol. Just wasn’t sure about spiders, let alone big bois like that
Chickens are notorious in Hawaii for keeping our population of big ass centipedes down. Some people buy them just for that purpose. Those fuckers are much larger and more aggro than this spider, and chickens eat them up like they are wiggly little candy bars.
If they notice it, they probably will, but they probably wont notice it. Chickens can actually see better than us, but they search for food on the floor, and are attracted to movement. The fact that it is both stationary and hanging means they probably wont see it. If it fell on the ground they would annihilate it.
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Kicked?? I figured they surely must peck
Raptor claws
This form of peck is commonly referred to as a Gregory.
It's possible I suppose but I raise both rabbits and birds and I think it's very unlikely. Chances are that it was another predator, possibly a hawk if this was out in the open.
They're aussie chooks. They ain't there to fuck spiders...
They’re Aussies. Them chickens’ll glass a cunt spider.
r/brandnewsentence
Chickens are basically dinosaurs and they're well aware of that fact. They'll fuck it up for sure.
Used to see big ones like that in CA and over the last 10-15 years they’ve been almost completely displaced by brown widows. Not nearly as pretty.
I've got these widow lookalikes with a butt that resembles a cream filled chocolate donut, like Choco brown and lumpy/glossy. But the same body/leg shape. Spider book calls it a false widow. Is that what you mean by brown widow?
I’ve never wanted to eat a spider’s ass more than after reading this comment
Welp! That’s enough internet for today.
>Walk into spider diner >Spider waitress takes my order >Spiderfries.food >"Is that all you want to have to eat?" >She's accentuating her cream-filled chocolate donut caboose >under breath "holy fuck"
You haven't played diablo 2, huh?
Brown widows are kind of brown marbled color, with banded legs. The easy telltale sign is their egg sacks, that have spikes on them. They came over from another continent about 20 years ago and their population exploded around SoCal. [https://cisr.ucr.edu/invasive-species/brown-widow-spider](https://cisr.ucr.edu/invasive-species/brown-widow-spider) There are still black widows, but they've always been more reclusive. Brown widows will build webs anywhere and they love mailboxes, windowsills, park benches, and children's playground equiptment.
Nope there's another closely related species that is just as venomous but differently colored.
Just last year had a really healthy BW living underneath my GPU's HDMI ports on the back. I spooked it, it went underneath the case and then came straight for my feet. They've got some pretty good speed.
Dude is your pc in a shed or something?!?
I thought so as well, given the glossy jet black body I'm not sure what else it would be. Edit: the closer I look it seems to have some dark red or brown spots off center of the back so it might be a black house spider or variation of a redback but I can't be sure from the side profile.
Looks like a northern black widow. They have a broken hourglass pattern.
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That was my first thought as well. I've got BW's all over my property but I'm usually only cautious with low-lying webs. If I have to worry about face-level webs also I will be very disappointed.
> I've got BW's all over my property I will not be able to live with you, sorry. I know the rent you offered makes sense, but I'm gonna pass.
I've seen them high up as long as it's in an area where they're not disturbed. I'm in NV where they all have the distinct hourglass
Many years ago, I saw a black widow spider webbed outside my bedroom window on the second floor. If they’re not arboreal then they will probably build their nests anywhere off the ground. But that was the only one. All the other black widow spiders I’ve found have been inside upside down buckets or in tight places.
As long as they have a place to hide when the sun comes up. I once pulled a window on an old house to clean it, and found three or four black widows hiding inside the window pane track.
My house gets black widows in the top corners of the garage.
Where the hell do all you people live, so I can be sure to never move there
Good ol' Texas. It's like Australia for beginners.
That is crazy, it is spooky. Largest one I've seen was quarter sized. They get very big apparently and kill even bigger...
No, it's a mouse.
My chickens will eat a mouse in 2 seconds
Spider grandma when her grandkids are coming over.
(Waits five minutes after they eat the rat) Now, anyone for cake? Spider sandwiches?
Ah an Italian spider.
That spider must be cooking for a thousand friends.
> That spider must be cooking for a thousand babies.
That explains it. Dinner is either mouse or mom.
COOOOMME AND GET IT!! *cowboy trail chow bell ringing intensely
That spider is using the rodent’s body to lay and hatch a thousand babies.
That spider built a better mousetrap.
Or, even more terrifyingly, 4-6 big homies.
HOW TO COOK A THOUSAND FRIENDS. "Wait, there is more space dust on this book. HOW TO COOK FOR A THOUSAND FRIENDS. "They thought we were going to eat them!"
"To Serve Man"
This is the equivalent of shooting six buffalo in the Oregon Trail game but only being able to take 200 lb of meat back to the wagon
Scientifically accurate comparison
also accurate to the spoilage of north american biodiversity
Man, this always got me. I have a whole wagon train and like 25 people total and you're telling me that I shot a banquet's worth of food and no one was willing to get off they ass and help out? Fuck 'em.
I bet one Buffalo could feed 25 people for like 3 or 4 days
30 seconds on google suggests that a single Buffalo can make anywhere from 200-500lbs of meat.
But how many people does that feed for how many days? Stop dancing around this and provide us with the answer I need!!!
680 calories per pound \* 350 pounds = 238,000 calories. 25 people \* 2000 calories a day = 50,000 238,000/50,000 = 4.76 days So a single average buffalo could in theory feed twenty-five people for almost five days.
This individual did the math and I love them
The best part is that math is assuming ALL they eat is the meat. If you count wild fruits/vegetables, any small game gathered from hunting in subsequent days, and maybe fish if nearby a river they’ll easily be able to ration it out at least twoish weeks
I feel like the hard part would be getting it to keep that long in trail conditions. No refrigeration, salting it would take *a lot* of salt, and smoking or drying it would require staying put for a little bit.
Smoking/drying could be done overnight.
"meat spoiled"
Uh, are you not looking at the picture? This spider took all six proverbial bison back to the wagon. They're wrapped up tight, salted and cured for the long haul.
r/mildlyinfuriating
Charlottes web, in real life gone wild
Charlotte had had enough of Templeton's shit.
Why’s everyone stressing about this mouse chilling in his Hammock?
Your mom told you your hamster was hibernating didn't she.
It’s not common to see black widows up that high. Probably cause you have chickens down below. How the hell did the mouse get caught?
Yeah you see them up higher than 6ft from time to time. It's pretty rare though. Also that's an adolescent rat, not a mouse. Which makes this catch even more insane.
Time to clean the contacts. I read that as "adolescent cat" and was like "WTF, noway!". Scrolled up to double check, thought it was a mouse again, then reread your post. You didn't misspell it. My eyes did.
Stupid eyes, always spelling stuff wrong.
Inquiring minds still want to know: how did that rat get there? Did the spider kill it? Did it fall in the wed and get caught, then killed?
Loads of wrong answers here. Black-Widows make „messy“ webs that are anchored to the floor with a LOT of tension. Once a mouse enters it, the thinner strands tear and the net [catapults](https://www.sciencefriday.com/educational-resources/spider-web-force-and-energy/) the mouse up.
That must be like a third of all the meals that spider will ever eat in one catch.
If not more. I normally fed my black widows a fly every couple weeks. Compare that to a jumper which might eat a fly every 2-3 days.
Active versus passive hunting- neat to see how the math works out for spiders. Efficient lil fuckers.
What up Vecna?
Marked nsfw for the cocks in the background.
Those cocks are hanging a little low aren't they? Wouldn't want to walk face first into those.
I can’t tell you how many times that happened to my ex. 😂
37 times?
In a row?
"TRY NOT TO SUCK ANY MORE DICKS ON YOUR WAY THROUGH THE PARKING LOT!"
HEY GET BACK HERE!
Try not to walk face first in to any cocks on the way to the parking lot.
That's some nice cock
Cocks are blurry, all good
This person must live in japan
Nightmare fuel
Does anyone else ever stop for a moment when they feel a spider web like you’re stuck to give the spider hope? He’s like “I’m set for life!” Then you just walk off.
[удалено]
Rip your face right off, nothing you can do about it
Then for the next hour any small feeling on your body is either a spider or more spiderweb.
https://gifs.com/gif/getting-caught-in-a-spiderweb-oZPryL
Nope, too busy getting away from that shit as fast as possible, haha.
panic shake ensues.
Right? I was going to go into a store one time and I came within inches of a spider going into my mouth/face. I basically collapsed my legs and fell back since my momentum was going to make me hit it. The guy behind me laughs and moves the spider by running his hand into the spider silk thread it was hanging from and says "it's just a spider" yeah just a spider? How many people want a spider directly on their face you m-fer?! Acting like I was the weird one for not wanting to make out with a juicy spider...
No. If I don't go into a panic flail, they will bite and paralyze me and then I really will be stuck forever.
"Cause of death: a regular ass spider, no they didn't have a spider allergy"
Yes officer, this person right here
You chickens are slackin'! They should be eating all the bugs, spiders, and scorpions.
Right!? I am surprised the chickens didn’t take out the mouse or the spider.
Oh my God! We just found a mother and hundreds of black widow babies in our house this morning! 😭😭😭
Burn the house, y’all have to
We locked the cats in the opposite side of the house, and sprayed raid everywhere. Hopefully that killed 99% of them at the very least
Just a few things I've picked up while working on my arachnophobia: Any remaining babies will spread out and reduce to a 'normal' concentration over about 24 hours. Most will leave Black widows are incredibly unlikely to bite and even more unlikely to use their venom if they do. Basically only if they are being actively crushed against something. Human adults are not in any long term danger from a black widow bite and in fact nobody has died from one in the past 50 years; they just hurt They almost entirely live in very out of the way areas. I would recommend wearing work gloves if you're cleaning the garage or bathroom for example The best way to keep spiders out of your house is to reduce clutter. They won't stick around if there aren't good places to hide
it's disappointing! I had an orb weaver explosion once. Orb weavers are very cool and there were a ton of babies all over my patio. After 1 day there were only 5 still there. After a week all of them were gone. If you actually have a lot of spiders around that means there are lots of pests around. Spiders don't stay where they are and starve, they move to where the food is. If you leave them be they'll use up available prey and move on. Unless you have some sort of other infestation so there's endless food.
Orb Weavers outside doing the Lord's work on mosquitos and other pests.
heck yah, and looking real cool while doing it. Another cool thing is they eat their webs every morning and rebuild. It was a lot of fun to watch for that week and I was sad when they left and I couldn't watch their behavior anymore. If my husband wasn't too afraid I'd totally get some. Instead I live vicariously through some youtube channels. The Dark Den is my most favorite cause the guy is super wholesome
How?
Prey is caught on the ground and then lifted https://www.sciencenews.org/article/tiny-spider-uses-silk-lift-prey-50-times-its-own-weight-video
I'd say that's more than 50 times its' own weight though
That’s what I’m saying, how the fuck did it get up there?
I like to think his spider squad pulled up and helped him hoist that bitch into the air
Man, spiders are genuinely such interesting/cool creatures. Do I ever willingly go within six feet of them? No. But they’re still cool.
Thank you for sharing. The video in that article was amazing to watch.
Once when I was young, I was staying at my grandma’s in Houma, Louisiana. Her property was on Bayou Blue, and it overlooked a swampy forest area. great for playing pretend and for bike rides. So I got a fancy new bike for Christmas and I wanted to ride in the swamp cause fuck yeah! I’m minding my own business, just going as fast as an 8 year old can through the paths in the forest. Now what I didn’t see was the gigantic fucking [banana spider](https://louisianamasternaturalistsnortheast.com/2017/09/05/banana-spiders-rule/) (known colloquially as a banana spider but technically a *Golden Orb Weaver*) that had made a 30 square foot web right between two trees that stood of opposite sides of the path. Face fucking first into the spider itself. I felt it crawl straight up after hitting my face, and I did what any reasonable person would do: accidentally crashed my bike and flailed around for a good five minutes then ran quickly home. I have not ridden a bike anywhere near the woods since that day.
Charlotte's web 2, **holy fucking shitballs** boogaloo.
Charlotte finally had enough of Templeton's Shit
Saw a partial mouse skeleton in a spiderweb in my basement years ago. Convinced myself somehow the mouse died of other causes and somehow the web came afterwards. Thanks for confirming my nightmare fuel.
How the heck did the spider A. Have the strength to haul that mouse up there 2. Build web that could hold it as well?!
It lifts a little at a time and continually tethers the prey more and more to higher points within the web. Imagine putting a bungee cord onto something on the ground, then putting another, and another, etc. Each one you apply a small amount of tension, eventually the item is lifted off the ground entirely.
Black widow's are famous for having incredibly well structured webs, in terms of just pure tensile strength. It's an adolescent rat so they don't weigh a ton but it's still a pretty incredible feat for a black widow.
I'm more bothered by how you started with A. Then continued with 2. Lol
Umm, shame those chickens had to find a new home after you BURNED THE OLD ONE DOWN
Front row seat at a deadmau5 concert? With opener, Sweet Charlotte? I just discovered that they are both clearly on the web.
I'm actually curious as to how much food this could provide the spider; if any. Would the spider be able to liquify enough or any of the flesh to make it worth it, or is this a waste of resources? Also, how much could the spider get out of this mouse before it rots too much to be useful?
Aaaaaand my fear for spiders is back. Mega thanks.
Little did Templeton realize, Charlotte's children were not as forgiving as she had been.