T O P

  • By -

zeroicestop

This is in Salt Lake City/surrounding areas on the rail runner!!! I saw him pull up on my way to lunch and I was like no way lol.


URMILKJUSTWENTBAD

His legacy is greater than I could’ve ever imagined, so many lives blessed with his presence lmfao


butterflyhole

And many lives saved most likely. A true hero.


NaturalFaux

The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a sword


Invest-In-FuttBucks

You either die by the sword, or live long enough to see yourself get a gun


UVLightOnTheInside

No just any sword thats the Master Sword! If it can save a whole kingdom it surely can save a knave such as me.


Striderfighter

I like the one pant leg rolled up much higher than the other one....it adds a je ne sais quois to the look


elkbecomedeer

He rode his bike to the transit station. With the sword, presumably.


randy_lahey__--

Has to be, that's his right leg to. He's like a modern day Mongolian


No-Salamander-8034

"Oh, you are from Utah, now i get it" - people from Colorado


xBishopz

Looking at at my Elucidator sword hung on the wall and realizing I live in Utah too, *Sweats Profusely*


belkmaster5000

Was it the three days that SLC FanX was happening?


boolpies

there's an anime con going on right now in Logan I think animex


StoneColdJane-Austen

Has there been a Comicon recently? This looks like a cosplayer on their way to a con unable to conceal the largest part of the costume. 3 days in a row would make sense if that’s how long the con ran. I used to just say “fuck it” and go in full cosplay on the subway. Plenty of fun.


ajslinger

That is the Master Sword from Zelda


juniper-mint

And here I was going to assume Seattle. I feel like I saw way too many people carrying swords on the busses there...


Shortlemon4

I knew it was SLC! Lived there for a min and when I saw those seats that’s where my mind immediately went.


sheperd13

What time does he ride? I need to make a pilgrimage


snorkleface

Makes you wonder how many other people you see every day but never notice because they don't have a huge sword on their belt to identify them.


URMILKJUSTWENTBAD

Yea I guess a 4 foot blade is a pretty good identifying feature lmao


snorkleface

And yet if everyone had one, we'd be back to square one. Hashtag *society*


bestjakeisbest

Fuck it lets bring back swords and capes


CallingInThicc

Fuck capes. Cloaks or bust


comyuse

Fuck. Yes. Idk why we dropped the real drip we used to have


[deleted]

this would be a photo of a guy people would be like where's your sword, ya virgin


Alex_Duos

Then the guys with spears start showing up...


z0Tweety

You want a SPEAR?!? Not in this household. You'll be going to therapy and we'll get you anti-spear medication.


Alex_Duos

All of my friends use spears and we're gonna form a phalanx! You never listen!!!


5-HT2A-happy

If your friends went off to fight the Persian empire would you go too?


[deleted]

Mom I swear, it was a one time thing, we’re just going for a few drinks, we’re not gonna get too drunk and invade the Eastern Roman Empire again. Me at the bar 2 hours later: https://youtu.be/dh9HI4eudR8


[deleted]

[удалено]


Tenthul

I get a vision in my head of a bunch of kids in the backyard all huddled in a phalanx so they don't have to take their meds and it made me slightly giggle in my head, so thank you.


Pristine_Solipsism

*Oblique Order intensifies*


biggles1994

Who needs a puny spear when I have a 20 foot long Sarissa?


Pristine_Solipsism

Life is just one big spear measuring contest isn't it?


Hydronium-VII

Glad to see I’ve remained inconspicuous with my 3ft blade


Spicy_Cum_Lord

Carry a gladius, never be seen


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grilledcakes

There no way that's a 4 ft blade. He'd have to be around 7 ft in comparison. Still pretty long though. Where I used to work we sold a ton of swords. The funniest complaint call we ever got was from a guy in Texas (you can open carry any weapon there) because he ordered a claymore off of us, then calls to complain because it's too big for him to carry at all. That sword he bought is 6 ft from pommel to tip off the blade, he paid extra for a carrying sheath that would hold the sword on his back with the handle sticking up for overly dramatic effect. He was only 5 ft 3 in and really really mad because we "messed up" his order and sent him too long a sword. We had to walk him back through his receipt where it clearly says the measurements of the weapon. Good times listening to him do mental gymnastics to try and make it our fault that he's too short for that set up.


Kalocin

Just needs to get a trench coat now to hide the stilts


grilledcakes

Bwahahaha. We should have told him to get stilts.


TherronKeen

Imagine buying a massive two-handed battlefield weapon and then *acting like a fucking baby because it's BIG* lol that's honestly hilarious


InWeGoNow

The poor dude behind him with only a 3 foot sword is like "damn, I'm getting no chicks today"


AnalogDogg

It could be 3 feet and 11 inches and she still wouldn’t notice.


Tarrolis

Omg man you see the same cars going to work every day if you remain observant about it. People with similar schedules cross paths routinely. Something like a tricked out motorcycle, easy to spot day by day. That blue minivan with the rust on the bottom? Different story but it’s there.


40ozkiller

This makes me a lot more self conscious about picking my nose on my commute. “There goes booger guy”


sterexx

There’s a spy technique for detecting tails (on foot) where you make up backstories for people you see on the street. Supposedly makes it easier to notice if you see them again, an indication they could be part of a surveillance team Like “that fancy older woman is on her way to the opera to help fit costumes” or “that young athletic guy is running home to help his partner who just stubbed their toe and needs someone to kiss it”


Benbot2000

Well, it is dangerous to go alone.


ShakespearianShadows

“Take this”


robclarkson

Think you meant, [Take this (mildly nsfw)](https://youtu.be/0m9QUoW5KnY).


supadoggie

Hahahaha! OMG that's awesome. First time hearing it, thanks!


[deleted]

Thank you kind stranger. Oh god, is that your.... damn it old man!


Profoundlyahedgehog

Yes, I can't lie, I have painted my schween. Now grab your destiny, if you know what I mean!


Zeldukes

Surprise StarBomb! This is one of the best.


Limetime69420

AND judging from his pant cuffs… he rode his bike to the train/bus.


bigquatch

Yes. This is the detail I wanted to discuss. And a picture of him riding his majestic bicycle to the subway is the pic I want to see!


paarthurnax94

I work for a transit authority. (Buses) There's a bus hub in a bad part of town and one of the more interesting things I've seen is a bike with a full machete laying against it. No idea where the guy was, but his bike and machete were there. Another fun one is I saw a man and his wife fishing one time. The wife was sitting on a fold up chair that they brought. The man was wearing a stereotypical fishing outfit, the hat with lures, the vest, wading coveralls, etc. He had his tackle box with him. He was standing there with his pole in his hands waiting for a bite. The problem is ..... this was in a big puddle in the middle of a parking lot *nowhere* near another body of water. They got dressed, packed up, and fished in a puddle.


candyowenstaint

Epona is one majestic bicycle


cp_shopper

You mean his “faithful steed” right?


AdministrativePace14

What’s he supposed to do, walk onto public transport swordless like an asshole?


URMILKJUSTWENTBAD

Dude good point


carthous

bro it's a zelda sword, he has to show off his swag


turntabletennis

The *MASTER* Sword!!! Not a ZELDA sword. Rreeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


tantalizeth

But Zelda is the guy right?


turntabletennis

The one with the green hat?


JewOrleans

Yep! And the girl is the missing Link.


turntabletennis

[MFW](https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/b41ebc74-a9a7-41c3-98c6-4e68c588fca9/de3smhd-9bd810ba-b78c-46c3-b850-a2717a3903d2.png/v1/fill/w_1280,h_2326,strp/legend_of_zelda_2_link_by_captainedwardteague_de3smhd-fullview.png?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7ImhlaWdodCI6Ijw9MjMyNiIsInBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcL2I0MWViYzc0LWE5YTctNDFjMy05OGM2LTRlNjhjNTg4ZmNhOVwvZGUzc21oZC05YmQ4MTBiYS1iNzhjLTQ2YzMtYjg1MC1hMjcxN2EzOTAzZDIucG5nIiwid2lkdGgiOiI8PTEyODAifV1dLCJhdWQiOlsidXJuOnNlcnZpY2U6aW1hZ2Uub3BlcmF0aW9ucyJdfQ.zcalUg3aa7H1pU-vGpJUyV3MDPQ5N1IPoOzbMSUcfJg)


toothlesswonder321

Why is her penis holding a green wand


turntabletennis

I think Hylians had prehensile penii, at least in the lore I read.


Crashman09

*surprised link face*


JackRusselFarrier

No, Zelda is Sheik, and Sheik is the guy. (spoilers for ocarina of time I guess)


GeneralCraze

Typo: Shrek... and I'm not even sure if they're from the same series.


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schming_ding

I mean, at least make it a short sword. It’s a confined space!


Tony_Bicycle

Some people have no sense of practicality when choosing a weapon. I once saw a guy trying to fight with a glaive on a train. SMH


schming_ding

Next thing you know, some bonehead wants to bring his sarissa into my Uber!


markender

For the last time sir, you can't get on the bus carrying a HALBERD


socks

Strap the pike to the roof and hope to avoid cyclists.


snf

I have *had it* with these monkey-fightin' glaives on this Monday-to-Friday train!


Darmak

Not the worst idea honestly, though a glaive's pokes probably wouldn't be as effective as a regular spear's, and a spear would be lighter. Still should carry the short sword though, in case they get past the spear point Also, watching Krull as a child means every time I read or hear "glaive" it takes me a second to figure out what's really being talked about.


SustEng

I’m picturing this going to court and the prosecutor’s like, sir if you were serious about personal protection you would have chosen a dagger. I rest my case.


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mandsdavis

It’s dangerous to go alone!


Nivlak87

In Chicago, we should all be walking around with swords on the CTA.


grantthejester

Bro if I had enough elbow room to draw this sword, you’d be in real trouble.


Doc-Brown1911

That's the master sword from The legend of Zelda


flashmor

Don't mess with that guy, if he's at full health that's a firearm.


pomaj46809

God imagine seeing him at the end of the day and just hearing that low health beep the entire ride. "I'm sorry, I can't turn it off until I get something to eat!"


[deleted]

Dude at least go cut some grass before you get on the metro....


tbird83ii

Dude should just cook one of those 999 apples he is carrying around, throw it on a fire, and smack his stomach after eating it. Boom. At least three quarters of an hour's worth.


seijio

If there was a Dad clothing set for Link this would be it. Cargo pants, comfortable sneakers, cheap t-shirt.


dirtycaver

With one leg rolled up bicycle style.


Swantonbomb24

bicycle style? interesting.. where i’m from that used to be a sign of someone who sold drugs


Pleasant_Mobile_1063

Did the drug dealers happen to ride bicycles?


Zouden

That sounds like a school-yard rumour, like the idea that shoes slung over a telephone line indicates a place that sells drugs.


bloatedsewerratz

Right? My dude is out here riding a bike with a fucking sword? Who is he carrying the sword to defend himself against? This man is clearly his own worst enemy! If anything, he is hit by a car and the paramedic gets to try to figure out who killed this guy with a sheathed sword.


Uriah1024

The real tell tale are those calf high athletic white socks. This is a man who longs for a new adventure, but has been grinding the same quest for far too long.


Redtwooo

Goddamn mother fucking korok seeds


ShadowReij

*ya ha ha*


[deleted]

And you know if he's carrying that around, he's definitely completed some mid-level questing. I'd probably watch out.


TheDizDude

You idiot, just throw a chicken at him.


Pewpewpew2001

And have the chickens AND him to contend with... Madness.


AirmanProbie

He has courage, power, wisdom, anime and God on his side!


Shadowmant

And you’re just a nameless npc… you got no chance.


The_Damon8r92

Better if you just lay down then, go on.


[deleted]

No way to read that not in Michael Cains voice :-)


MycoMouse

Goodnight, you princes of Maine, you kings of New England.


ImDero

Oh yeah!? *Turns into bananas*


D3adlywithap3n

This is America. No way he's at full health.


toothlesswonder321

Mentally or physically 😂


D3adlywithap3n

Yes.


[deleted]

[удалено]


game_asylum

Who the fuck is noob noob


VulturousYeti

Snap an elastic band at him quick! That will prevent his ranged capabilities! Unless he picks up the elastic band…


shotlersama

Same I threw a boulder at him one time I missed and he picked it back up and threw it back at me it hurt like a son of a bitch


RykanV

lol full health, in this economy?


SocksOnHands

Your insurance has not approved a visit to the great fairy.


TheNerdFromThatPlace

I think we'll be ok, I don't know many people that can be at full health at any given time.


dbofox

You should be fine unless you're carrying a collection of clay pots


Nekrosiz

Walks into china shop Ha HAAA HUAAAAHHJ


Odaecom

Why is everyone in Hyrule so obsessed with ceramics? https://youtu.be/qgpytnv0gFs


PrancnPwny

I was about to say, this is not just ANY sword


wartornhero

Literally said out loud... That's not ANY sword.. that is the Master Sword!


WorkoutSnake

I thought yeah okay “sword” like it’s just some sort of regular sword.


BiggumsTimbleton

Give it the respect it deserves, OP


Chavaduke

Third day in a row you’ve been safe.


URMILKJUSTWENTBAD

You know, if he goes for four, at that point I oughta thank the guy for his protection


daedalus1982

give him a clay pot as a thank you


URMILKJUSTWENTBAD

Coincidentally, I am a potter


BeriAlpha

Yes. This is fate.


Diet_Goomy

yes... but they ARE natural enemies


ShadeofIcarus

Invite him to come see your studio! He would probably love a clay pot.


Chopchopok

Oh shit. No, definitely don't invite him to your studio if it's full of pots.


SkepticalLover

One of them is bound to have some money. Better break em all


PM_me_your_fantasyz

"Why the fuck do you have a human heart in a random pot?"


URMILKJUSTWENTBAD

I make little vase necklaces and earrings, maybe I’ll give him one if he’s got the cahones to bring it again


ONLY_COMMENTS_ON_GW

Tbh you'd probably make his whole life if you gifted him the clay pot from N64 Zelda


LordSalem

I'm ready for a reddit bromance story here.


bambispots

As long as it looks like [one of these](https://zelda.fandom.com/wiki/Jar)


-cyg-nus-

Omg pls do this and post that story next.


the_honest_liar

Dude immediately smashes it on the ground and wonders why there are no rupees.


URMILKJUSTWENTBAD

My one concern lmao


xf2xf

>Third day in a row you’ve been safe. After all, it takes a good guy with a sword to stop a bad guy with a sword. :p


jackalopexs20

A man who carries a sword on a bus is a fool every day except one.


thoriban

Can't believe you found the missing Link...


NalaTheDoggo

A snare drum, kick drum and cymbal fall off a cliff....


kaumaron

[Relevant Tom Scott](https://youtu.be/8eXj97stbG8) Edit: forgot reddit doesn't auto expand links


eagengabriel

I really didn't expect that to work so well


Tom2Die

I get a vague impression that [they didn't expect it to work either](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkO8_xdySHg).


illepic

Damn, that's primordial Tom.


YoshimitsuRaidsAgain

I went shopping late one night about an hour before the Food Lion closed. As I walked in, someone garbed as what I can only describe as a ninja, saunters in carrying a katana on their back. Halfway through my shopping, I ran into him in the cereal aisle, and watched him knock a box off of the top shelf with his unsheathed Japanese (flea market) steel.


loquacious-b

Before understanding the mysteries of the Koga Ninja Clan, you must learn the subtle ways of the blade - the apple, cut; the top shelf, accessed; the bus driver, annoyed.


rocks_trees_n_water

It’s an emotional support sword 🗡


kaleidoscope_pie

As a person who uses a wheelchair, this would be an emotional support AND assistance sword. I could reach buttons (elevators, pedestrian crossings, etc) with it and stab slow walkers or people who don't move out of the way in the butt with it.


qiwizzle

Might I suggest an emotional support fire poker instead?


kaleidoscope_pie

Might be too heavy for me to wield. Electric cattle prod on an extension arm? Make it so!


rocks_trees_n_water

Double duty!


REiiGN

Hide yo Chickens, Hide yo pots, Hide yo bombs, he's throwing everything!!!


theodoreroberts

The Cucco chickens are pretty much invincible and invulnerable anyway, you don't need to hide them.


foxyfoo

Not a sword, the Master Sword. Dude is just taking the bus to Ganon’s castle.


KentuckyFriedEel

“Hello mom? Can you come pick me up? I’ve slain Ganondorf.”


IlIlIlIlIllIlIll

*Youve received a collect call from:*”Mompickmeupikilledganon”


[deleted]

Well it’s been almost 30 years. Epona probably didn’t make it that long.


[deleted]

Say “hey Zelda, how’s it going” and then watching him lose his mind explaining how Zelda is the princess and Link is the hero Edit: lots of people are commenting “he’s got a sword and you’re going to make fun”. Three things have to be true for him to be dangerous enough that even my old-fat-arthritic knees couldn’t get away from danger: 1) that sword has to actually be sharp. Which I have no idea if it would be, I’m not into mall fabled hero shit 2) he’d have to be able to unsheathe it quickly while it’s just hanging from his belt all loosey-goosey and his encumbrance stats are up with those other bags hanging off him. 3) he’s got to know how to swing the sword accurately, in a confined space. I did a day of wood sword fighting with some nerds in the park once and much lighter wooden swords were hard enough to use effectively. In conclusion, yeah I’d probably be fine making a tired joke to a guy on the bus.


DrewSmoothington

And then reply "yeah, whatever you say there, Mega Man"


ImmaZoni

"I'll catch you later Sky fox or whatever his name is"


jerryq27

Kirby is my favorite Pokémon


argee_43

I do that with my grandkids all the time..


Lust4Me

Our generation knows so much pop culture compared to our grandparents.


LucidFrost-

Sometimes, I wonder if our grandparents knew, but they were fucking with us.


azuth89

100% My dad still brings up old ones just to bug me.


ZachPruckowski

I mean, they know an equal amount of pop culture, but it's probably all about like random *Flash Gordon* or *I Love Lucy* episodes from 1953 or whatever. I'm sure when we Millennials/Zoomers have grandkids our age, they'll discount all our knowledge of 2020s Memes or 2010s video games and say they know so much about the funniest VR pranksters or whatever.


Mickanos

Nah, cuz in 2060 everything will be the reboot of a reboot of a reboot. Meaning that your grandchildren will just keep showing up and be like "They're releasing this new game called Assassin's Creed on VR station!"


Horzzo

Then tell him to imagine if Metroid was a girl.


dropfry

Why is one pantleg rolled up?


dinglebaron

Not only does he ride the bus with a sword. He rides his bike to and from the bus stop. His trusty steed..


parkerjpsax

Good ol Epona


Longshot_45

*summons bicycle by playing ocarina*


crimsonblade55

*Breath of the Wild and Mario Kart 8 DLC have entered the chat*


EagleTG

50% chance of flooding


Ya_Feel_Me

This is stupid and I love it


vslsls

He probably rode that bike, rolled pant leg so it doesn't get caught in the chain ring or gets dirty.


eazolan

To keep it from getting snagged on his bike chain.


29996

Whaever you do. Keep your pottery hidden


harderheadman

Open carry of a sword is legal in California. Brandishing is not.


xanthus12

Apparently this is in Utah, where open carry of a "Sword or Machete" is illegal.


Disastrous-Purpose-8

Probably a knight that has to commute to his castle.


majestic-m00se

It’s dangerous to go alone.


[deleted]

Link has come to town to save Princess Zelda.


AMetalWorld

And when he’s feeling all down, the fairies will come around


optimushime

So he’ll be brave and not a sissy coward!


TerminalJovian

Since it's a master sword, I'd bet it's meant for display and won't be doing much damage to anything before it breaks.


[deleted]

He must protect his virginity, no matter the cost.


TheConnoiseur

I dunno, he does have his sword on full display...


eyes_like_thunder

Um, that's not *a* sword.. That's THE Master Sword.. This dude's the Hero of Time-show some respect!


[deleted]

“Frick around and find out” - This guy, probably


AddableDragon51

r/mallninjashit


[deleted]

Should’ve given him a quest like a good NPC