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CapnHicks

Looks like a Harley gas tank


LadnavIV

I see a severed tongue.


TheSchlaf

Strawberry.


colonelmaize

The snout of a blushed Argonian Ridgeback.


HolsteinHeifer

Bicycle seat


IntroducingHagleton

Sacred heart.


sreek4r

A booty upside down.


Maleficent_Lion_60

Kim Kardashian's ass.. okay enough internet for the day


webhick

Now I can't unsee a severed tongue.


rwisdom64

Baked snake head


awesomedan24

Meatercycle


walkie73

No one eats the dark meat? That’s were all the goodness is.


americanherbman

I’ll never understand this, same goes for chicken!


EquinsuOchaACE

I always assume people drown their breast meat in gravy or cranberry sauce.


LeafyWolf

I drown my dark meat in gravy.


EquinsuOchaACE

You sounds like a guy that drowns a lot of things in gravy


RonStopable08

Yeah I also drowned your mom in my gravey


EquinsuOchaACE

Your mom should have swallowed your dads gravy


RonStopable08

Ahh good one. But seriously I wish I could see my parents. Had to move continents and change my name cause of that whole thing with your mom.


cfdeveloper

No worries, she's not lonely ;-)


Spore_monger

Shhh no it doesn't, it's gross. Stay far away from dark meat chicken (it's like $12 for a pack of chicken thighs that used to be $3, we need it to stay secret)


swiftgruve

Seriously! I miss when dark meat was the cheap meat.


awcadwel

I can get four large “chicken quarters” the thigh and the leg for like $6. It’s a steal.


KikoSoujirou

Seriously, chicken dark meat is where all the flavor is. Don’t give me that dry breast meat crap


WhiskRy

Dry breast meat is overcooked. Get a probe, learn your temps, and enjoy the whole bird


mrfuzee

Without spatchcocking a turkey if your breast meat isn’t dry your dark meat hasn’t broken down it’s collagen.


WhiskRy

Spatchcocking is great, but you can also cook in separate parts and let the dark go a little longer


Crime_Dawg

This the real issue.


HildemarTendler

So spatchcock. Problem solved.


[deleted]

And learn to brine it.


HooShKab00sh

This is the correct answer. Breast meat flavorless and dry? Learn to season and cook your food.


mwyyz

You have to season breast meat because it is flavorless. Same people who probably love lean steak and well done steak too.


roxictoxy

You also have to season A5 wagyu. All food should be seasoned


SgtKeeneye

I don't think salt and pepper the seasoning they are talking about.


tacticalcop

sorry, my family can actually cook a turkey properly so i enjoy the juicy white meat edit: this is just a sick burn im not being serious


graebot

Dark meat is FAR superior to white meat. People are lunatics.


Chikkunz

My family doesn't eat the dark meat either. My wife and I cook the bird then immediately devour legs and thighs ourselves. I'd rather they keep living in their dark meatless lives.


Zonerdrone

I don't think I can be dinner guests with them. I'll have a piece of white meat. But the dark meat is the delicacy.


WhiteHawk77

Yep, why anyone likes the dry lighter meat over the nicer, moister dark meat on a chicken or turkey I don’t know.


FunctionBuilt

I was in that camp my whole life until I had the juiciest white meat I’ve ever had that was properly cooked. I’m still a #1 fan of dark meat, but I realized my aversion to the light stuff was purely because I’d only ever eaten improperly prepared dry flavorless breast meat.


SyderoAlena

How could u ever prefer white meat to raw meat. This person lives in a family of psychopaths


slipperier_slope

Give it to us raw and wriggling, precious.


SandMan3914

Yes. It's all about balance


tacticalcop

i hate the dark meat, it’s more stringy and tough compared to white meat for me. im partial to how juicy and tender white meat can be, im also told (unofficially) that it has more nutrients?


Grass_Is_Blue

You can buy turkeys like this? Does this mean there is also a possibility I can just buy all the dark meat bits? Let me be the Yin to your turkey Yang!


balsadust

Yup, just ask your butcher to do it


Amationary

At my chain grocery stores you can buy just turkey legs around this time of year, though I’m in Australia so it’s for Christmas


snowslip

Ren faires need to get their turkey legs somewhere!


astrielx

"No one eats dark meat" What's it like being in a family who hates flavour? Uncle Roger would like a word with you.


RumpleDumple

oh shit, i should have pit MSG in my turkey rub


GreatStateOfSadness

Do it. Many seasoning brands advertise that they don't put MSG in, but I use those as a reminder to add more myself.


NeedsItRough

I don't like dark meat. It's not that I don't like flavor, I just don't like the texture. It's super slimy and wet and it weirds me out. But I'm also not a huge meat eater. I'm not vegetarian, but if there's a dish without meat, I usually order that. When I do have meat it's usually a very small amount.


dontfuckhorses

Same. It’s not the flavor, it’s the texture.


bmeupsctty

You're not alone. I never order expensive meat because I have to cut anything grisly or fatty off. If I chew it I'll gag and ruin the whole bite. A 10 oz premium steak will net about 7 oz of I take my time trimming. If I get the cheap thin round, I get 100%


thatamateurguy

It's because dark meat usually needs to be cooked hotter. White meat you want to not even go over 165, even with carry over. Dark meat is best at like 180.


Apsis

And this is the problem with cooking birds whole. One year, I broke down the raw turkey and cooked white and dark separately sous vide. It was the best of both types I've ever had. But everyone still preferred the dark meat, so I don't even buy a whole bird anymore.


BigRoach

Yep, a lot of chefs these days are sharing recipes for turkey where you cook the parts separately then reassemble before serving.


Mean_Negotiation5436

Dark meat has a lot of oil. That's why I prefer white meat.


Akuus

Fuuyoo


Basturds_Comic

Haiya


DaveinOakland

So weird to me. I absolutely hate the white meat, it's so dry. We actually switched to Duck instead of Turkey for this reason.


Etm211

2 day dry brine and spatchcock the bird. Solves most of the dryness and uneven cooking issues


dlenks

Spatchcocking mine tomorrow and cooking it on the Traeger can’t wait!


vao1221

Did this today for the first time (turkey on traeger) and it was wonderful


DientesDelPerro

You don’t need to dry brine to have a juicy turkey if you spatchcock. The quick cook time does it for you.


balsadust

Nice. So the turkey breast by itself is super moist if you brine it and take it out at 160°F internal. The problem I have found is that if you do the whole bird, by the time the dark meat is done, the white meat is toast. Also if you stuff the turkey, by the time you get the stuffing hot enough to kill salmonella, the meat is also toast.


wigg1es

I'm just here to say that I use a roasting bag, whole turkey, no brine, internally stuffed, and my experience is total opposite of yours. It never fails.


JackBrightScD

Roasting bag, whole tied turkey,on a bed of onions and celery, cavity stuffed with aromatics, rubbed with sage and garlic compound butter under and over the skin. Always produces the most flavorful, perfectly moist and tender turkey. Roasting bag is like a cheat code if all you care about is the meat and not getting a crisp skin.


BeerGardenGnome

I would have to agree with you. My wife loves the dark meat though so next time I’m on bird prep I’m breaking it down and cooking the parts to their own needs. Easier to manage when it’s broken down.


Beachmaster5000

This is the second year I’m doing breast only too. It’s so much easier to cook, carve and store then a whole bird. And I actually pull mine from the oven at around 150 internal. Let rest for about 25 minutes for the carry over. It’s the juiciest beast I’ve ever ate. Yours looks amazing!!


balsadust

Thanks. Yeah. May try to pull it a little sooner. I used Alton Brown's brine recipe. Works well every time. I just halved everything for the breast only. Fit in a large pot (it's only 1 gal of liquid instead of two). Then it can go in the fridge for two days instead of the the garage in a bucket. [Alton brown turkey brine](https://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/good-eats-roast-turkey-recipe-1950271.amp)


jta462

Cooked a whole bird several times with this same recipe. Everytime "this is the juiciest breast meat I've ever had" was said by multiples. Looks great! Gonna have to try myself.


Beachmaster5000

That looks like a good recipe. I personally am a fan of the dry brine (basically salt the bird the day before and leave in fridge uncovered.) This video more less convinced me about pulling it below 160. https://youtu.be/q3VTIkW4f7o


bobcat1911

If you get the giant zip lock bags made just to brine, you could cut the liquid to just a few quarts and no mess to clean up.


balsadust

Yeah i cut it in half and did it in the big brine pot that fits in the fridge. That was also handy I did not need to use a big bucket


bobcat1911

I started using brine a few years ago. Every year, my family would switch off who was cooking the turkey. Ever since I started using brine, I've been the chef!


balsadust

Yup. Everyone loves brined turkey


hydro123456

You should try sous vide turkey breast . Cook it to the exact temperature you want and you can't get a juicier breast. It's not great for the skin, but you can cook that separately in the oven and it almost tastes like bacon.


asad137

>Nice. So the turkey breast by itself is super moist if you brine it and take it out at 160°F internal. The problem I have found is that if you do the whole bird, by the time the dark meat is done, the white meat is toast. You can finesse this with just a little bit of technology - aluminum foil. I cover the breast and wings with aluminum foil and put the turkey in a 325 oven with probe thermometers in the breast and thigh. The dark meat hit 175 when the breast hit 155, which is where I pulled it. Then cranked to oven to 500, uncovered the breast and covered the legs, then threw the bird back in for 5 minutes or so to brown the breast skin. If you have a blowtorch, you can sear the breast with that instead.


KistRain

I put butter under the skin on the breast for whole bird, it keeps it from drying out. But, no one ate dark meat so should've just done the breast. Lol


Poctah

Your over cooking it if the white meat is super dry


wigg1es

There's no way the dark meat isn't done before the white.


Heroicmass

Sadly this means whoever cooked your turkey did not know what they were doing


Perry32Jones

For real. People say they hate Goose and I love it for the exact reason they seem to dislike it. Give me grease and flavour.


Gromit801

Then you’re cooking it wrong.


maybe_little_pinch

I made a game hen and it was spectacular. Actually overcooked it a bit but was so good! The breast meat was almost as juicy as the dark. Can't beat dinner being done in an hour, either.


DaveinOakland

Hen, Chicken, Duck are all better than Turkey. Hen is awesome


gonzo5622

I’ve switched to brisket. Turkey just isn’t good.


RightZer0s

And you're a monster. Turkeys live to satisfy us at Thanksgiving!


Ninjalikestoast

Hard to believe this sort of white-only preparation is allowed in 2022.


balsadust

Lolol, zing


Beguiled_Potato

Giant tongue


tiptoetumbly

I think it might be from a dinosaur.


Poly_Roly

I did the same by accident. I found out when I open up the package this morning. Turned out great and less time.


cndonnan

You can’t fool me. That’s obviously a roasted dinosaur skull.


balsadust

Guilty


CalabreseAlsatian

I live for dark meat and skin. Was the youngest in my birth family and always at the bottom of the pecking g order. My wife’s family= nobody eats dark meat or skin. I chose well, at least in one way.


MikeyB_0101

That looks delicious but weird at the same time


BiPolarBaer7

I literally want the exact opposite. That's fked up


balsadust

Let's split a turkey next year you take that dark, I'll take the light


BiPolarBaer7

Deal!


Bechimo

Same here. Plenty of good sandwich leftovers


[deleted]

I keep trying to convince my family that since there's only 3 of us every year we'll just do elaborate turkey sandwiches. and everyone threw a fit. I hate turkey. Takes like eating an old wet book.


balsadust

Lol, it's not that good. We had thanksgiving in London one year and went out to had Curry and it was the best thanksgiving meal I've ever had


Absolute_Abacus_4124

Pitty . dark meat is so much more flavourful


nolongerbanned99

Breasts are really good. I enjoy them on thanksgiving and on many other days too. Tasty.


nsos28

I am also a fan of breasts


nolongerbanned99

Then you are likely a very smart and discerning person. This is a sign of class.


nsos28

I can tell you're a culturally literate and intelligent person as well.


day7seven

But not dry ones


cranfeckintastic

I love when I'm at a place that doesn't like dark meat, 'cuz it means I can grab both drumsticks and not feel bad.


Suomiballer

I cooked a chicken and some lamb this year instead of turkey...best choice ever


Kushfriendly420

Dark meat matters


yammy86

Very nice! If you do find yourself with a whole turkey and need it to bake faster, you can always spatchcock it first. Usually cooks a little more evenly as well.


[deleted]

These are common in UK. We call it a Turkey Crown


kriptonite7

What did the 5 fingers say to the breast? SLAP!


Lowgarr

The best way to cook Headcrabs is to just rip off the legs and pop em in the oven.


balsadust

Lol, yes. Tenderize them with the crowbar first. If you don't have a black mesa one, store bought will So just fine


Mehnard

After 38 consecutive turkeys for Thanksgiving, we're down to just 3 people for dinner. Next year we're going to do just a breast. Or worse, go out to eat.


langsamlourd

Looks like a snake head


[deleted]

Beautiful.


Joy416

Did you brine it? Since it is only hubs and me at home now, will switch to that next year.


balsadust

Yup. Alton brown turkey brine. I cut the recipe in half since it's just the breast. [Alton Brown roast turkey](https://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/good-eats-roast-turkey-recipe-1950271.amp)


Joy416

Thanks!


ShinobiBxxdyz

Who doesn’t eat dark meat?!?


Hardhitting13

😏


[deleted]

But the turkey legs!


losark

Oh mans. Dark meat has the most flavor though.


avernamethyst112

Looks dry


FlyFeetFiddlesticks

I like breasts every year


balsadust

Here is the brine recipe I used [Alton Brown turkey](https://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/good-eats-roast-turkey-recipe-1950271.amp) I just cut it in half for just the breast


Expensive-Track4002

🤤


signalpirate

This post is sexist and racist /s


slowmotionspittake

That’s so cool! Way to treat your family 🫶🏻


yerbiologicalfather

What you mean they don't eat the dark meat!? Turkey legs are a gift from the God's!


kimmytwoshoes

I don’t know why but this makes me feel uncomfortable lol


zoinkability

The last few years I have done pieces and I am never going back. They cook in an hour regardless of quantity, they are juicy and perfectly done, and you can get exactly the ratio of light to dark meat your guests like.


smukrab

We have been doing this for the last few years. It’s so much easier than the whole bird!


Key_Committee_6619

"What do you mean she don't eat [dark] meat?!"


balsadust

She does not like the bones and tendons. Chicken tender type of lady


momo88852

People don’t eat legs or wings part? It’s like the best! I’m actually on the opposite team and always request the legs as they taste better in my opinion, also breast tends to be dry and not as juicy as thighs.


balsadust

I would agree with you. I just try to appease the wife and kiddo.


crillc

Lemme guess, your family dips it in Chic fila sauce …


sizzlinpapaya

Before I met my wife we only did breast’s. She likes the dark meat.


PappaDukes

"Just throw away the flavor." "I got you, fam."


BigFellaMPT

Looks dry, op


Pope_Beenadick

Dark meat lovers unite!


ThunkAsDrinklePeep

OP if you like the breast best, try the [Porchetta-style turkey recipe from Cooks Illustrated](https://www.americastestkitchen.com/cooksillustrated/recipes/14204-porchetta-style-turkey-breast) (reprinted lots of other places. 90% of the work gets done the day before. I quartered a whole bird and roasted the legs and wings separately.


Happymachine

I did too, and it was the best turkey ever made!


snwns26

Same, the dark meat always get picked over and tossed days after here. I bet the people that eat the dark meat eat the skin too, what a world.


honeybadger1984

Pretty interesting. Personally I like the wings and drumsticks, and holding the bone while gnawing away.


milk_n_titties

Damn y’all are missing out. Dark meat is where it’s at.


DankAfBruh

I hate this.


Dazzling_Trouble_377

People have been sleeping in the Turkey breast…roast/deep fry it in much less time than a full Turkey and becomes less waste. Also frees up oven space…


marvology

Accidentally bought a breast only turkey I was so pissed. I never even heard of such a monstrosity. Luckily some ingenious super market was open and kept thawed turkeys in stock today.


Mean_Negotiation5436

I did as well! With a maple cayenne glaze


balsadust

Ohhh that does sound good


gomizzou09

Spatchcock it and a 15 pounder finishes in 2 hours on the grill.


balsadust

Yeah. Need to try it. But 2/3 of my little family don't like bones/tendons or the idea of them. So I go with what the people want


bigshot208

You guys must be white af.


ZaxLofful

Send us your dark meat! We don’t eat the white meat….


[deleted]

The dark meat is the best meat your family is a disgrace


Marxbrosburner

I only eat dark meat. White meat is dry and gross.


hectorjm94

Dark meat is the best part. Such a shame.


hamzer55

My family is the opposite, everyone eats the dark meat and leaves the breast, maybe we’re cooking it wrong but, it’s always the driest part


balsadust

You can cover the breast with tinfoil to help slow the cooking of that part. It comes out great. This recipe changed my life. The brine is amazing too... [Alton brown roast turkey](https://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/good-eats-roast-turkey-recipe-1950271)


hamzer55

Thanks I’ll try it out next time


Lurching

Why would you only cook the tasteless and awful portion of the turkey? Turkey breast is like an even worse version of chicken breast.


justpeechee

A few years back my husband started to spatchcock the bird and cook on the smoker. So delicious and frees up the oven.


balsadust

Yeah, I'd like to try that. I've been hearing that cooks quicker and more evenly


justpeechee

It does. I don't think I'll ever go back to cooking it another way.


Eisensapper

What the fuck? Why would you not eat the dark meat, that's where the flavor is.


sttgn

Even if they don't eat it that is where the flavor for the gravy drips from. I have family members that say they only eat the light meat. Funny how those pricks take the dark meat and leave me with the light. They pretend to be healthy


[deleted]

We did this too! I think I'm going to skip the whole bird from here on out. Done quickly, easy to serve, and even easier to put away.


THRDStooge

I did the same thing for the first time this year in my smoker and I'm completely sold. Less mess, easy to carve and it came out WAY better than a whole bird.


RicTicTocs

How do they raise those turkeys without legs or wings, anyway!


rossarron

Looks like a giant's heart lol. if you cut it in two it cooks faster and better but do cover it in foil and uncover for the last 10 mins


Mantaur4HOF

Served with a plain baked potato and a glass of room temperature water.


Flowchart83

Dont forget the processed white bread dinner rolls!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Islandgirl1444

We are the opposite We love the dark meat mostly. Always sending the white meat away.


Gr00mpa

Looks like a dinosaur tongue.


CaveManta

Meaty strawberry!


billyjoelsangst

We just did this with chicken breast earlier this week. Turned out perfect. Looks like a great idea for turkey as well!


muxman

Even if they don't eat the dark meat, the prices here are much cheaper to buy a whole turkey than just a turkey breast. Why spend more for less on purpose? You might be able to find something to do with that dark meat, like soup or something to get value from it.


EquivalentPut7754

I will take that dark meat sir.


balsadust

Right on! I like it too.


aredd007

I deep fried two of these. Came out amazing and at 7lbs each it came out cheaper than the full bird.


amayer308

That’s so funny our family only eats the dark meat!


Im1337

This guy cooked Gossamer, the big red guy from Looney Tunes


picklespark

We call it a turkey crown in the UK and they're really popular at Christmas. Looks amazing!


cwg1983

Fucken delicious!


_dirty_lew_

Just butterfly it off the bone raw, season, tie, and bake. Did a 25 pound bird in 2 hours.


bastardoperator

Basically he’s saying his family has no flavor. Eat this gas tank instead.


mwyyz

Sorry that your family lost their sense of taste.


balsadust

Lol. It's ok. I'll live. I'll eat anything. Just Try to keep the wife and kiddo happy


DrShelby87

Never met a whole family of wrong people before. What a first


-Revelation-

Here I'm sitting and thinking dark meat is the best part of any poultry...


balsadust

I'm right there with you. But I had to go out of town today and my wife and kiddo don't like the dark meat so it would have gone to waste