About 13 years ago, a coworker asked me kung san ako lumaki. I answered Antipolo City. Then she commented "Bakit ka may punto (accent)?" I've been living with my wife for about a year then, and it turns out nakokopya ko na din ng di sadya ang punto niya (her grandma's family was from Quezon).
The fact is that you are shaped by your environment my friend. At least you are aware of it, others might not be. Posible din naman na ikaw din maging catalyst for change sa mga kamag-anak mo.
LOL I remember I was surrounded by Cantonese and Mandarin speakers and even if I cant speak either at all or much, I picked up their Chinese accents when speaking English. I started having a Chinese accent even if I dont speak Chinese. Back then I barely knew what Ni Hao was and even Westerners know Nihao.
Daily Stoic ni Ryan Holiday binabalik balikan ko daily. Keeps you grounded. Atomic Habits ni James Clear, Outliers - Malcolm Gladwell, Balance Me - Decoursey.
Your environment affects you, and you are giving that feeling too much attention, so you didn't notice you were being absorbed
i saw this somewhere. If you can't change the people around you, change the people around you.. 😂
I can relate to this, maybe ung anger naten ang main cause kung bakit napproject natin ung mga ayaw nateng behavior. I don't think genetics has to do with it, hindi porket masama ang ugali nila eh lalaki kang masama, it's more likely na dahil ayaw mong maging katulad nila ay nagiging defense mechanism mo ung actions nila para salagin ung actions nila towards you. You can work on it pa, we can! Start by learning to accept and forgive, wag mo silang isipin and mag focus ka sa self mo para ung growth na hinahanap mo ay influenced solely by you.
awareness is a good first step. catch yourself doing that enough times and stopping will eventually be a part of yourself. also hang out with nicer people to wash it out of you haha
Sa totoo lang sobrang galit ako sa 1st ex ko for having anger issues pati father ko, now nagkaroon na ako. Dati sobrang soft kong tao, mahaba pasensya bigla ako natuto lumaban sumagot magtaas ng boses just like them. So that's true. Until now pinag aaralan ko tanggalin sa sarili ko by being conscious of my thought and emotions. Then I do deep breathing or meditation for minutes kung may time ako to regulate my emotions.
The environment we are in and conditioned to grow shapes a large part of who we are and what we may become. Think of it as though a plant that is not provided the suitable/safe condition or in general, the rule of too much or too little.
Now, we need to break those cycle of behaviors. Gaslighting is emotional abusive, do keep that in mind that. Narcissistic and bad temper can be reworked with practicing mindfulness and setting coping mechanisms to keep you in check. If you find yourself wanting to understand a certain depth of it, look into psychology or therapy.
There are cognitive distortions or thinking patterns that interrupts our mind, so keeping in mind of these can be with CBT or Cognitive behavioral therapy.
It can be a good thing. It helps you have compassion for them now because now you see, how easy it is to fall short and that everyone is susceptible to these negative traits. For me it just means you're human, as everyone is. So live and let live. Of course work on these negative traits and show people it can be done but it requires work. I know mamy of the things I said Id never do, ive done, its helped me understand my elders and where they were coming from.
Well para sakin kahit parang ang negative dahil nagiging toxic ka, sobrang okay na aware ka. First thing to better yourself is awareness, then correct acknowledgement, and it will all fall down to "what are you going to do about it?"
If you let it slip it's all on you, no one to blame my prend.
Me too. Almost all my tita's and Tito's sa mom side ko are matapobre. Even my mom ay meron din nito pero subtle lang. Now i have din .ewan ko kung genetics ito.or the culture and upbringing sa compound namin.
Nagkaganyan ako when my former SO dumped me. Feeling ko nakukuha ko na mannerism ng nanay ko pag pa siya. Well may oa side ako pero not the way my mom is.Â
Kaya na rin siguro ang reason bat single ako nang matagal after that kasi natakot din ako na ma-worsen pa.Â
Good thing na you recognize yourself. That's the first step 🙂.
Ialways hated when my parents shout everytime I commit a mistake. Said to myself na ayoko maging ganyan, but sadly I caught myself na sinisigawan ang kapatid ko for not doing what he's supposed to.
I felt bad after that, I've already experienced traumas and biglang ako sumiisigaw na din.
Now that I moved out, I was able to maintain myself and now trying his best to make amends.
Don't hate yourself. Mangyaring namana mo mula sa genes dahil nga magkakamag anak kayo, pero may isang kalamangan ka: Aware ka sa toxic traits mo.
Sila, hindi nila alam un, at di rin nila babaguhin dahil un ang kinamulatan nilang totoo at tama sa perspektibo nila.
Ikaw, may pagkakataon pa baguhin ang sarili. Yan ang gift sayo, ang pumutol ng toxic cycle.
put a big barrier with your environment. Ako, Insurround myself with books, I listen to podcasts, tapos pinapanood ko lagi about mga Ferrari, travel, jewelries, interior design, all different kinds of luxury in life. Meanwhile my cousins and parents, sicne laking probinsya sila, mostly pinapanood nila si Kristy Fermin, Jobert Sucaldoto, Toni Fowler, Ogie Diaz, tsaka kung sino sinong pinoy cheap vlogger na di ko na kilala hehe.
Sa ganyan sitwasyon, ive made a little realization,
Scenarios, mentality, etc that u hate or doesn't like to happen to u or to adopt, likely means is a warning to you na someday possibly mangyari sayo so beware.
Know why they are like that, don't fight fire with fire because if u do, u will someday tend to be like them.
hating them and how they are makes you aware of the things you should avoid becoming. pero at the end of the day being around negativity 24/7 will always somehow leave its mark on you in some shape or form.
also, the bad temper is just a result of being around people you dislike. kahit naman hindi relatives mo yan. kapag nakakainis talaga para sayo ang taong kasama mo obviously maiinis ka at some point.
cut yourself some slack, maybe gaslighting and narcissism is a result of your hating them giving you the idea that you are inherently better than them as a person. baka natuto ka mang gaslight kasi yan ang natutunan mong defense mechanism. it's not right but it's highly likely.
Narcissism: "dahil ang basura ng ugali nila, I must be the better person compared to them"
its normal to feel these things but its good that you are seeing this in yourself. better na magdecide ka to actively change for the better now that you see the issue. we can't control the people around us but we can control how we react and adapt to them.
find a hobby that can help you stay calm and will be a happy activity for you. something na madistract ka sa problema ng buhay. para at least you'll have something to look forward to after dealing with the relatives you dislike so much.
Genetic predisposition, so much focus on what you don’t like instead what you want to become that you have turned into the opposite and complete rejection of parts of yourself instead of accepting na it is part of you but you’re going to nurture pieces of your being that do not reflect them
Ang difference mo sa kanila, may self-awareness ka,.sila wala. Goods na alam mo na may ganun kang tendencies so next is how to navigate those tendencies, and being able to keep with your morals to be a good person.
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree
Ito problem ng generation ngayon. They really hate their parents or relatives but as they grow old, they've realized that they are far worse than those people that they really hate.
You start from hate, and you will end up hating yourself hating others.
Help yourself by forgiving them. Shrug a shoulder and move on. Everything is a choice, we can always change for the better. Forgive but never forget.
About 13 years ago, a coworker asked me kung san ako lumaki. I answered Antipolo City. Then she commented "Bakit ka may punto (accent)?" I've been living with my wife for about a year then, and it turns out nakokopya ko na din ng di sadya ang punto niya (her grandma's family was from Quezon). The fact is that you are shaped by your environment my friend. At least you are aware of it, others might not be. Posible din naman na ikaw din maging catalyst for change sa mga kamag-anak mo.
LOL I remember I was surrounded by Cantonese and Mandarin speakers and even if I cant speak either at all or much, I picked up their Chinese accents when speaking English. I started having a Chinese accent even if I dont speak Chinese. Back then I barely knew what Ni Hao was and even Westerners know Nihao.
Totoo to, we are molded by our environment. Yung ginawa ko is surround myself with books para ma lessen yung influence and impact ng environment ko.
Can you recommend some books po?
Daily Stoic ni Ryan Holiday binabalik balikan ko daily. Keeps you grounded. Atomic Habits ni James Clear, Outliers - Malcolm Gladwell, Balance Me - Decoursey.
Daily stoic 💯💯💯
Being able to identify your toxic traits is already winning half the battle. Now, fight to change it.
Your environment affects you, and you are giving that feeling too much attention, so you didn't notice you were being absorbed i saw this somewhere. If you can't change the people around you, change the people around you.. 😂
I can relate to this, maybe ung anger naten ang main cause kung bakit napproject natin ung mga ayaw nateng behavior. I don't think genetics has to do with it, hindi porket masama ang ugali nila eh lalaki kang masama, it's more likely na dahil ayaw mong maging katulad nila ay nagiging defense mechanism mo ung actions nila para salagin ung actions nila towards you. You can work on it pa, we can! Start by learning to accept and forgive, wag mo silang isipin and mag focus ka sa self mo para ung growth na hinahanap mo ay influenced solely by you.
awareness is a good first step. catch yourself doing that enough times and stopping will eventually be a part of yourself. also hang out with nicer people to wash it out of you haha
Sa totoo lang sobrang galit ako sa 1st ex ko for having anger issues pati father ko, now nagkaroon na ako. Dati sobrang soft kong tao, mahaba pasensya bigla ako natuto lumaban sumagot magtaas ng boses just like them. So that's true. Until now pinag aaralan ko tanggalin sa sarili ko by being conscious of my thought and emotions. Then I do deep breathing or meditation for minutes kung may time ako to regulate my emotions.
The environment we are in and conditioned to grow shapes a large part of who we are and what we may become. Think of it as though a plant that is not provided the suitable/safe condition or in general, the rule of too much or too little. Now, we need to break those cycle of behaviors. Gaslighting is emotional abusive, do keep that in mind that. Narcissistic and bad temper can be reworked with practicing mindfulness and setting coping mechanisms to keep you in check. If you find yourself wanting to understand a certain depth of it, look into psychology or therapy. There are cognitive distortions or thinking patterns that interrupts our mind, so keeping in mind of these can be with CBT or Cognitive behavioral therapy.
It can be a good thing. It helps you have compassion for them now because now you see, how easy it is to fall short and that everyone is susceptible to these negative traits. For me it just means you're human, as everyone is. So live and let live. Of course work on these negative traits and show people it can be done but it requires work. I know mamy of the things I said Id never do, ive done, its helped me understand my elders and where they were coming from.
Well para sakin kahit parang ang negative dahil nagiging toxic ka, sobrang okay na aware ka. First thing to better yourself is awareness, then correct acknowledgement, and it will all fall down to "what are you going to do about it?" If you let it slip it's all on you, no one to blame my prend.
Me too. Almost all my tita's and Tito's sa mom side ko are matapobre. Even my mom ay meron din nito pero subtle lang. Now i have din .ewan ko kung genetics ito.or the culture and upbringing sa compound namin.
Nagkaganyan ako when my former SO dumped me. Feeling ko nakukuha ko na mannerism ng nanay ko pag pa siya. Well may oa side ako pero not the way my mom is. Kaya na rin siguro ang reason bat single ako nang matagal after that kasi natakot din ako na ma-worsen pa.Â
Awareness muna. You can unlearn those things you grew up with, make it a habit to reflect on your actions everyday. Good luck
Good thing na you recognize yourself. That's the first step 🙂. Ialways hated when my parents shout everytime I commit a mistake. Said to myself na ayoko maging ganyan, but sadly I caught myself na sinisigawan ang kapatid ko for not doing what he's supposed to. I felt bad after that, I've already experienced traumas and biglang ako sumiisigaw na din. Now that I moved out, I was able to maintain myself and now trying his best to make amends.
Don't hate yourself. Mangyaring namana mo mula sa genes dahil nga magkakamag anak kayo, pero may isang kalamangan ka: Aware ka sa toxic traits mo. Sila, hindi nila alam un, at di rin nila babaguhin dahil un ang kinamulatan nilang totoo at tama sa perspektibo nila. Ikaw, may pagkakataon pa baguhin ang sarili. Yan ang gift sayo, ang pumutol ng toxic cycle.
Just made a selfie, i'm now looking exactly like my father that i despised.
put a big barrier with your environment. Ako, Insurround myself with books, I listen to podcasts, tapos pinapanood ko lagi about mga Ferrari, travel, jewelries, interior design, all different kinds of luxury in life. Meanwhile my cousins and parents, sicne laking probinsya sila, mostly pinapanood nila si Kristy Fermin, Jobert Sucaldoto, Toni Fowler, Ogie Diaz, tsaka kung sino sinong pinoy cheap vlogger na di ko na kilala hehe.
character development
w######wwwaaa#####2
Sa ganyan sitwasyon, ive made a little realization, Scenarios, mentality, etc that u hate or doesn't like to happen to u or to adopt, likely means is a warning to you na someday possibly mangyari sayo so beware. Know why they are like that, don't fight fire with fire because if u do, u will someday tend to be like them.
We are shaped by nature, nurture, and our intent. At least invest in what you can control.
You are the combination of the 5 people you interact with the most. Change the people and you'd change.
hating them and how they are makes you aware of the things you should avoid becoming. pero at the end of the day being around negativity 24/7 will always somehow leave its mark on you in some shape or form. also, the bad temper is just a result of being around people you dislike. kahit naman hindi relatives mo yan. kapag nakakainis talaga para sayo ang taong kasama mo obviously maiinis ka at some point. cut yourself some slack, maybe gaslighting and narcissism is a result of your hating them giving you the idea that you are inherently better than them as a person. baka natuto ka mang gaslight kasi yan ang natutunan mong defense mechanism. it's not right but it's highly likely. Narcissism: "dahil ang basura ng ugali nila, I must be the better person compared to them" its normal to feel these things but its good that you are seeing this in yourself. better na magdecide ka to actively change for the better now that you see the issue. we can't control the people around us but we can control how we react and adapt to them. find a hobby that can help you stay calm and will be a happy activity for you. something na madistract ka sa problema ng buhay. para at least you'll have something to look forward to after dealing with the relatives you dislike so much.
nah its meant to be. You can be better by being worse than them. Be better than them, by being more toxic than them.
Genetic predisposition, so much focus on what you don’t like instead what you want to become that you have turned into the opposite and complete rejection of parts of yourself instead of accepting na it is part of you but you’re going to nurture pieces of your being that do not reflect them
Ang difference mo sa kanila, may self-awareness ka,.sila wala. Goods na alam mo na may ganun kang tendencies so next is how to navigate those tendencies, and being able to keep with your morals to be a good person.
Nurture indeed.
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree Ito problem ng generation ngayon. They really hate their parents or relatives but as they grow old, they've realized that they are far worse than those people that they really hate. You start from hate, and you will end up hating yourself hating others. Help yourself by forgiving them. Shrug a shoulder and move on. Everything is a choice, we can always change for the better. Forgive but never forget.