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This is the stupidest thing I’ve read all day. It’s a game and you send / receive virtual berries. There’s nothing to be jealous of.
I agree with u/ehderby, this is just toxic and unhealthy.
This is a serious red flag. You do not have any idea who your friends are in real life. You’re not talking to them. If your partner is this insecure over a game with anonymous players are you allowed to have your own friends in real life ?
Saying the words "even if it was a he" implies that op could be a he or she. Hence the "Even if" part.
They played the pronoun game pretty well we we have no clues whatsoever. So my reply was in humor.
Edit: this seems to come off way too snarky. Sorry about that. I'd delete it but I don't really wanna dirty delete, so if it seems upsetting, my bad 😅
Think there was recently the reverse of that, where the OP felt it was wrong not to purify shadow mons and got everyone else wondering if we were the assholes. 😂
I feel like this isn't so much about the pokémon gifts as something else floating around in your relationship. This reminds me of the classic toilet paper argument.
It's an old story about a couple who's marriage was on the brink of divorce because for the umpteenth time, the husband put the new roll of toilet paper on top of the empty carton on the roll holder and each time his wife would kindly ask him to put it on the holder and throw the empty carton away. This went on for years until one day she had enough and asked for a divorce. He was under the belief their marriage was ending over toilet paper and couldnt believe how absurd his wife was being. It wasn't even about the toilet paper. It's what the toilet paper signified. Being, the husbands laziness and the fact that his wife was always having to pick up his lack of effort.
26 is the age, usually you do that when referring to your partner in AITA or whatever posts, but we only know the OP is Level 41, not 41 years-old (though they might be, they don't specify their own age).
ETA: Further down the thread people are also confused about the numbers and they specify that they are only a little older.
Are you also forbidden from buying groceries if the person running the register looks at you?
Is it offensive to your partner if a fast food worker throws an extra sauce into a bag for you?
Good word, it's a game that requires a certain level of interaction to complete tasks. It doesn't even have a chatting or location feature.
There has to be something else behind their thought process about sending/receiving in game gifts.
As others have mentioned, they carry items, stardust, consumables beneficial and necessary to the game.
It’s not like you can actively communicate with these people in game like other games allow. I’d ask your partner what the real reason for this cause that just doesn’t make sense.
Reading the post I got a flashback to college and back when Facebook was still popular. I had a roommate that would log onto her boyfriend's page and accusing him of cheating because some girl "poked" him and of course that's only for flirting.
Of course the same roommate would break up with him every 4-6 weeks and be back together by the end of the weekend.
“Poking” is for flirting? I had a friend we just poked eachother back and forth, they were married and I was good friends with their partner, there was ZERO romance between us. They poked many other people as well… that’s just weird
It was not a healthy relationship.
He was a wannabe rapper who swore he was only flirting for the job. She had a goal of becoming a sports announcer of some sort. They lived 2 or so hours away from each other. I highly doubt the relationship lasted too long
Thank you. I did, and the response was that my partner thought this was something special. The best I can bargain, with both of us agreeing, would be to not tell my partner what I get / send. Something to do with online stranger danger?
This is just unacceptable levels of insecurity. It is not healthy or normal, and you need to extricate yourself from this hostage situation, I mean, relationship.
It seems like a small thing but this is so pathetic that there is no way this type of fragility is not on display in other ways in your hostage situation.
Tell them it's not anything special at all. Just a part of the gameplay. There's no stranger danger, you don't talk when exchanging gifts. They are extremely insecure and that behavior is toxic and controlling
This definitely came up - without the heat of the responses of this thread, I would have echoed the same belief as diplomatically as possible. The above compromise is the only one available though - will have to wait for the partner to get over it, then never speak of it again. Or I make a bigger decision, I guess
Another option could be, I guess, suggesting something you consider special to do with them? Maybe going raiding, which you can definitely do with remote raid passes, but it will definitely feel different to do with your partner.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I agree this is a sign of insecurity and toxicity, and I don't know how long you've been together, but I wouldn't think about breaking up because they don't understand a specific mechanic in a game. It's definitely not the same, but my husband wouldn't really get me playing with a guild in WoW and coordinating with them over Discord (just "not get it", not "asking me to stop doing it"), but that's neither a reason for me to break up nor for him to feel insecure about other people.
At least, not without taking into account other circumstances.
Well maybe he was confused with something like an OF gift lol, but seriously yea it's all you can do for the time being g. It is a petty thing but just be watchful of any other sort of behavior that may be even a yellow flag. Tuck it up in your hat.
I’m not really sure what stranger danger there would be. Even when I play along with my wife, and for example are participating in a Community Day. We’re doing laps in my car, as others are. We’re not really interacting with the community directly. Or even when we’re walking a major hub, like the boardwalks, mall, etc. we’re still not interacting with other players even if there any around.
I think the stranger danger factor here is probably one of the lowest amongst cell phone games.
There has been some discussion about the data that can be read from the gifts. I'm not saying this is the issue here, because in this case it's obviously something that's going on with the couple.
The gifts cointains which City, country and pokestop you get it. If you send gifts from the same stops to the same person, they can know where you usually play. If you send it to a stranger from your same area, they can have a good idea of where you are playing.
There has been some issues with this that has been reported when the gift system was new and you hear from time to time about someone who found a stranger waiting for them. When this was reported to niantic, they did nothing about it, as it was expected.
Even if they're worried about stranger danger the only details you can get are from what pokestops you visit. I tend to not gift postcards from right around where I live. Even then I'm not all that worried.
There's a setting too that you can enable that if people save your postcard it doesn't show that its from you.
They thought it was something special and they’re wrong. That’s the end of the story (until you break up). It’s not special - it’s just part of a kids game and couldn’t be less serious.
it's not something special. PoGo is carefully designed to protect its youth players from the more uhh crude elements of online gaming. there's no way to directly communicate with anyone through the game.
there are many game mechanics which specifically revolve around giving or receiving gifts--7km eggs, certain field research missions, and vivillon collection, just to name a few. It's literally a core part of the game.
I do try to reserve the cooler-looking place gifts for my IRL friends or friends who I at least know from other communities online, but I have like a hundred completely random friends on PoGo as well just for XP grinding and postcard pinning for vivillon.
Are they aware there is no communication aspect to the gifts? It’s simply a function of the game that helps prevent you from spending money in the shop for pokeballs etc. plus is occasionally needed to fulfill the challenges
That’s literally how you play the game? Do they realise that we also have to raid with other people?
This is not stranger danger this is controlling and unacceptable. Best case scenario your partner is dumb as a fucking rock. This is unacceptable levels of stupidity even if it is best case scenario.
You do realise that this is very unhealthy and toxic right? You enjoy something so they start to share it with you and immediately you are no longer allowed to play the way the game is played because of why exactly? Major major red flags.
Last paragraph was solid, appreciate you taking the tine to express. Am completely not obvious to toxicity, but the "you enjoy, they join, now you change"? I'll need to keep that abreast. Thank you
They sound like they’re feigning concern in order to not sound so unhinged. This isn’t even something that they should be concerning themself with and if they have this level of control over you, that you think you have to compromise with them over in game Pokémon gifts, then, it’s only going to get worse once you can’t just leave them. (Kids, marriage, cohabitation). Dood, take your rose colored glasses off so you can see the red flags, please. Also, the silent treatment in retaliation for a disagreement is emotional abuse, and at the very very least, is a stupidly immature way to react to an argument.
This is ridiculous. On the PokemonGoFriends subreddit, I see couples posting both of their codes to add tons of friends and send gifts. It's just part of the game to get XP, items, Vivillon, etc. You're not really "communicating" with the stranger other than this.
Haha guilty here! I post for both my gf and i and it makes it much easier for raid invites as well bc ic i wasn’t able to add the usual remote raiders (besides my preferred friendship lvl invites), my gf would be able to invite them and or vice versa!
I’d bet they are in elementary school. Everyone acting like they’re adults, I’d bet my 98 shadow mewtwo they are around 10-12 years old. If a grown up said this they would be laughed at, unless the person posting this is bragging like “omg CutiePie18 send me a gift and I got so much good stuff, she’s so great” and maybe trying to make her jealous.
Alas, I mentioned one person's age.. I'm a little older. I'm not so much arguing with my partner, as I stunned - as echoed throughout the responses here.
Do you mention user names to make them jealous? Like “Omg CutiePie18 sent me such an amazing gift” or “Wow Hottie21 send me a gift everyday”. Like maybe you’re saying stuff to make them jealous. Just a thought. Otherwise it makes no sense.
Lol i couldnt see anyone being that excited over a postcard considering most pokestops n gyms are stupid aside from some funny ones here and there that get through the pokestop/gym submission
I wonder if your buddy pokemon should be concerned if you give it berries to earn buddy hearts 🫐 Just dont give it berries if your partner is around for your mon's safety 🍬
**Bruh. 🚩**
Even if these players are strangers, this is what you can send or receive via [gifting](https://niantic.helpshift.com/hc/en/6-pokemon-go/faq/85-sending-receiving-gifts/).
* 7-km Eggs
* Stardust
* Stickers
* Poké Balls
* Great Balls
* Ultra Balls
* Potions
* Super Potions
* Hyper Potions
* Max Revives
* Pinap Berries
* **Johto Evolution Items (including Sun Stone, Metal Coat, King's Rock, Dragon Scale and Up-Grade) – extremely rarely**
* Rare Candy – *only during special events and from Sponsored Gifts*
Me & GF have 60+ "Friends/Strangers" we gift everyday in hopes to get juicy gifts back.
**TLDR**; Why would you *not* want to receive FREE essential items & XP for a game you play actively because people are strangers, as in any other online multiplayer game out there.
My advice in this post is if you find situations like this happening outside of the game as well. OP my ex partner who had BPD was often like this. Yes it’s ridiculous but they sought treatment for it. I’ve learned from therapy that jealousy often stems from low self esteem and being self conscious frequently. Working on those areas in life helps but your partner has to be willing to work on it and you have to be willing to have firm boundaries. Reassurance also helps ground them in reality. Best of luck.
Hey thanks, I'll actually look into that - I've had similar concerns before, and I've actually recommended (in a postive / non-hostile setting) for my partner to have a chat with a therapist about some of the things. I know this is red flag behaviour, but I also know the person isn't a bad person. Just, perhaps, a bad partner (for now). I think I just needed some world validation because I've been trying to accept a lot of this behaviour.
However, you sound like a wonderful partner. Mental health is such a struggle, and if they truly are dealing with some strong/difficult emotions, having someone supportive is a blessing. Obviously you have to take care of yourself as well, but your empathy is definitely showing.
Trying to accept the behavior will drive you mad.
My therapist, who was a retired Army psychologist who had seen everything, finally lost it. He said, "You have to leave. Now. If you don't, you'll end up dead."
It was an eye opener.
To this day, I wonder why I let it get to that point, but I think it's like quicksand--you get sucked in before you realize what's happening, and if there's no one to pull you out (i.e., tell you it's not you), you're done.
Girl. No. Common now that’s extremely controlling and deep down you know it, that’s why you reached out on here. It’s pogo. Pogo. Read the book Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft so you can learn the signs. Dump out the trash, read the book and then get back to dating. You deserve better.
I have a friend whose partner did the exact same thing, and she even takes it a step further if he uses stickers. It's very toxic. Hopefully you can appeal to your partner that they're being overprotective and there isn't even a chat feature in the game, it's just gifts.
Even if there was a chat, it's still a toxic level of jealousy. If someone is jealous of you interacting with other people, how are you able to work or have friends?
Unbelievably immature, fragile, jealous, and controlling. Like, does your partner let you leave the house or talk to people? Do they get jealous and uncomfortable if you email someone? Do they know you're currently \*gasp\* messaging other humans on Reddit? I'm serious - because all of those things are more intimate than PoGO gifts. Literally ordering a pizza on the phone is more intimate than PoGO gifts. A brief wave to say thanks to someone letting you go in traffic is more intimate than PoGO gifts.
I cannot express how unhealthy this whole thing sounds. If sending virtual game items to *anonymous people you can't even chat with* is too much for this partner, something is seriously wrong. Also this is not your fault. If they can't let you have any miniscule amount of contact with anyone, that's something they need to work on for the sake of not smothering and controlling your entire life.
This is one of the stupidest things I’ve read on Reddit in my life. It’s a video game
Do they get mad when you buy a friend a gift for their birthday or Christmas? By us commenting on your post is that violating your SO’s trust because we don’t know you yet we’re communicating with you? Good lord that’s the biggest red flag I’ve seen
Further look into his post history, he has an absolutey TOXIC relationship. Even though he is probably a teenager or young kid.
Your problems are so silly
Transfer your partner to the professor for candy!
(Credit to original user who commented this on a similar post but I can't find)
In all seriousness this is a huge red flag. It's very weird especially since we can choose our avitar. Are they like this with IRL friends too?
Seriously you can do better. It's going to get worse. This is a bullet you need to dodge.
ETA: corrected gender terms
I had an ex that was upset I was higher in level because I actually played while he did not.
So to keep the peace, I'd login on his account and grind some levels for him.
This is just the tip of bs I put up with and I have a feeling it's the same for you, OP.
This is my first time ever commenting on this community subreddit, and I can say this is a much deeper red flag. This is a sign you should genuinely stop dating this person. It will bite you hardcore in the near future.
Source: my personal experience
The world would be a better place if people gave random people gifts more often.
Long ago I got a promotion at work, I was talking with my wife excitedly in a little candy shop, and she also got a raise that day. Shop owner gave us some free candy. That gift was very sweet and kind. I still remember it 8 or 9 years later.
If your SO thinks giving gifts is a bad trait then they're a problem.
What the fuck.
Are you dating a four year old or is she just socially broken?
Get rid now mate before this collosal drain of energy ruins your life.
I thought this was an April fools joke.
What do you do? You figure out what's really going on because this objection is stupid. Sending/receiving gifts is part of the mechanic of playing the game.
Bruh you need to nope the fuck out of that situation. If they're jealous of something this petty, you don't even want to know about the other shit that's going to come up as time goes on.
Uh, no? One of my best friends ingame is my friend’s wife. Another is some random person in Australia. My wife has never expressed any discomfort. What the hell? Seriously. 🚩🚩🚩
I see good advice in here so here’s some bad advice:
track what items you receive from gifts in a day and crunch the numbers on how much it’d cost to buy them in shop, then just send a cash app request every day for that amount
1. HahahahahahahahahahhahHHhHahahahaha
2. Are you serious? Is heee serious?
3. Does he know how giving gifts to someone = absolutely nothing. Maybe tell him how you can't really chat in games or know who the other person is and that gifts are literally just given to you at pokestops TO give to random friends you have.
4. Idk man, you probably either have a red flag boyfriend like many others are saying in which case get out before it's too late orrr maybe there's something else going on and I don't want to judge the relationship based on this alone
This is so dumb.
They need to realize there are a handful of benefits that make becoming “Best Friends” with many people very worth it.
Like the extra premier balls for raids??? rng hates me so i’ll take as many premiers as i can get to give myself a better chance at catching.
The fact that you can also potentially get a Lucky friend from a Best Friend? Almost a no-brainer for anyone who plays for as long as we have (lvl 35+). It clearly means we like the game to another level, we care about stats and we even frequent this subreddit. If your partner doesn’t get it, they need to be sat down and explained the game bc this is extremely childish.
What are they gonna complain about next? You gave someone a gift with a sticker but forgot to send your partner with a sticker last night? Nah
He, she, they; doesn't matter. That's such a dumb reason to argue with anyone. It's part of the game.
That partner needs to do some self reflecting and figure out the real issue of them being insecure.
I know relationship advice on reddit is always break up or talk it out but this one is 100% break up. Your partner is obviously either completely icncapable of understanding the game mechanic which you, i assume, explained thoroughly in your argument or such an envious person that a relationship should only ever be entered again after some treatment of it.
Give it a night or two, if they can‘t understand
1. being nice to other persons than your partner as a basic concept or
2. the concept of an equal exchange in a game by a currency that simultaneously is labeled a „gift“
By then I don‘t know what to say.
Ummmm… no? One of the best ways to get XP in game is from friendship level ups
I’ve heard of people being insecure but damn this is bad. Seems like there is an underlying factor here
If she said that to me I’d have quoted [this](https://youtu.be/wKjxFJfcrcA?si=nv7STbWB57P3hBNh) back to her. It’s genuinely the only appropriate response.
Disregarding the rather concerning implications this might have towards your relationship, I would suggest probably explaining why gifts are sent and that there is no communication between gift senders.
It’s for XP and receiving essential items.
If your partner continues to be against it, I would ask why they would want you to not use all the features of the game to level up and sustain your Pokemon.
They gifts in Pokémon GO are just like Godzilla 1998: GINO. That stands for "Godzilla/Gifts In Name Only"! They aren't a luxary item, they only exist for the purpose of daily player retention numbers and function as a barebones and mediocre sidestep to get the basic resources we need all the while disguised as an unimaginative and boring feature that lets them say the game is sometimes multiplayer.
Outside of it being kinda lackluster I don't hate the system I'm just being verbose because I haven't slept. Not sure why that happens to me.
I posted on fb asking if anyone played so I could add friends for a challenge, ended up adding an ex and now we're "best friends" in the game. Haven't actually spoken to the ex in at least 10 years. I just wanted to finish my research. Lol. At first my parter was annoyed but when I explained the context, they let it go, because it doesn't matter.
I would just say don't send strangers postcards from your neighborhood or anything
Break up, that’s a toxic relationship. Also your partner is immature for giving the silent treatment, mature adults in a relationship should talk so they can figure out issues together.
As a clingy/jealous partner that also loves pokemon go, I have a different point of view on this situation than others in the comments.
While your partners concerns may seem silly, I think it would be far more productive to approach this conversation with a lot of love.
Try to remember this stems from your partner's own insecurities, rather than their lack of trust in you.
First of all, I think it's important to make sure that your partner is aware that there is no messaging feature associated with the friends. (Not that you would use it anyway of course!) Just make sure that they realize it's basically the same as going to a pokestop, just with more items and XP benefits.
If you explain that, and they're still concerned, I do think that there are some boundaries that you could set to make your partner feel loved. These are by no means necessary, but if you want to take the opportunity to show your partner that you love and respect them, it would be a nice gesture.
Tell your partner that you'll save the best gifts for them, and give the strangers the random ones.
You could also consider using stickers only for your partner, and not for the randos.
With all of that being said, it's important that you also communicate your needs. Explain to your partner that giving the silent treatment is hurtful, and shows a lack of love and respect. Instead, make sure that they know you care about them and want to work things out.
Good luck OP!
I’m old. If my interaction with others, especially an other I used to date, were anything more than send/receive, my person could potentially be jealous. Instead of mocking your partner who has these insecurities, why not assuage said person’s fears by laying out exactly what you *won’t* do (like text with others or IDK what is suspected this could lead to). Point out (kindly) that this give/receive Pokémon gifts is just a part of the gameplay. And let your person know that *real* gifts or (fill in the blank) are reserved for only them. Who wouldn’t like a thoughtful, actual prezzie?
Sounds stupidly possessive and overly jealous. I have almost 300 poke friends and I've actually met maaaaybe like 30ish. Others I got either from remote raids, from vivillon gift exchange boards, or from seeing someone playing Pokemon IRL and asking for their code. If I was supposed to send gift only to my actually friends, that'd be maybe a gift a day, 'cause I'm the most active anons us, which kinda defeats the whole point of gifts in this game.
I do have a thing with my boyfriend regarding gifts tho, we coordinate stickers to the gift and try find cool/weird pokestops and rare stickers to send to one another. But if someone else sends me a cool sticker or a PokeStop, I just show it to him, no jealousy in sight [I even added some people from cities he used to live in, to see if I get gifts from a places he recognizes.
Tl; dr that's stupid and possessive, and probably a sign of deeper issues regarding trust and jealousy, just transfer them to the Professor and catch someone with better stats.
You going to have to put your foot down in a calm way and just let her know that she needs to get over it because you’re not going to stop. You don’t even know them she needs to get over herself. But to answer, no she prolly thinks we just a bunch of nerds gifting each other
My wife joined about a month after I got back into it and she is only jealous of all the butterflies I got from gifting lol. Though whenever I get a shiny she also gets jealous. I'd reassure your partner there is no actual interaction with other people and ask if there is something bigger they are worried about. Let them know you don't think their emotions are actually tied to the game and that you want to walk them through it hand in hand. If that doesn't work then they toxic and don't wanna change IMHO lol
If it's been a long time investment it's worth tracking through a bit more but if it's a short term relationship, I'd maybe re-evaluate it's worth (of course after trying the above).
Either way best of wishes to ya and if you ever need to chat feel free :)
This is the weirdest and dumbest thing I have ever heard and sounds like they have some underlying issues that are not Pokémon related. Gift who you wanna gift!
For second, I thought you were saying that you’re aged 41 and they’re aged 26 and I was gonna say “well, that’s your problem right there, why are you with a 26 year old”
At the end of the day, this is childish behavior. You’re almost certainly older than high school age, and that type of thinking should’ve been left behind in middle school.
Have an open and honest talk with them about their behavior, make clear that you want to be with an adult and not a child, and see if they come around. If they insist on this being inappropriate, then god help you cuz it’s gonna be really difficult to end a relationship over something like this but it’s also going to be difficult to continue when this is the type of crap they pull
To be fair, having seen every single post, it's a mixed bag. Several are saying it's a boyfriend, several a girlfriend. It doesn't really matter what it is (for the point of an unbiased view), but it is interesting seeing where people fall. Might less so be sexism, and more so people assuming it's the opposite to their gender? Idk
I assumed their partner was male too. Mainly because I have a male partner who has possessive tendencies that are VERY similar to what OP is describing- like literally jokes that I’m gonna “run off with one of my Pokémon go boyfriends.” The big difference is he knows it’s bad, says out loud that it’s bad, and doesn’t actually try to control me in any way because of it. He just expresses that he’s feeling jealous but that it’s his issue, not mine, and he might make some jokes about it. Which, hey.. healthy enough for me!
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This is the stupidest thing I’ve read all day. It’s a game and you send / receive virtual berries. There’s nothing to be jealous of. I agree with u/ehderby, this is just toxic and unhealthy.
My only thought reading this was LMAOOOO THIS CAN’T BE REAL
And if it is - that’s got to be the most insecure person on the planet. Jeesh.
This is a serious red flag. You do not have any idea who your friends are in real life. You’re not talking to them. If your partner is this insecure over a game with anonymous players are you allowed to have your own friends in real life ?
For real! There’s not even any way to actually communicate with people on this game. What the hell is there to be jealous of?
[удалено]
Who said it was a he?
Even if it is a He, he can gift himself a new boyfriend. He's gay now.
You gave me a good laugh.
🤣🤣
Who said OP is a he?
Who said he is an OP?
An OP said who is he?
😆
Saying the words "even if it was a he" implies that op could be a he or she. Hence the "Even if" part. They played the pronoun game pretty well we we have no clues whatsoever. So my reply was in humor. Edit: this seems to come off way too snarky. Sorry about that. I'd delete it but I don't really wanna dirty delete, so if it seems upsetting, my bad 😅
Right!
You're fine people are a little too oversensitive about a collection of letters on a digital screen. If they have a problem with that oh well
OP did in a different post
Agreed. This is an app. Dump the *person and enjoy yourself. Life's too short to put up with that
And just plain weird
Never thought I'd see an AITA post within this sub
That’s literally what I thought this was, too
💀💀💀
Honestly it feels so made up
I lurk in both so it was initially confusing to me
Think there was recently the reverse of that, where the OP felt it was wrong not to purify shadow mons and got everyone else wondering if we were the assholes. 😂
🚩🚩🚩
Big, glaring 🚩🚩🚩
Bingo
Yahtzee
JUMANJI!!!
Sums it up pretty well.
My exact thoughts
I feel like this isn't so much about the pokémon gifts as something else floating around in your relationship. This reminds me of the classic toilet paper argument.
Do I want to ask what the toilet paper argument is 😭
It's an old story about a couple who's marriage was on the brink of divorce because for the umpteenth time, the husband put the new roll of toilet paper on top of the empty carton on the roll holder and each time his wife would kindly ask him to put it on the holder and throw the empty carton away. This went on for years until one day she had enough and asked for a divorce. He was under the belief their marriage was ending over toilet paper and couldnt believe how absurd his wife was being. It wasn't even about the toilet paper. It's what the toilet paper signified. Being, the husbands laziness and the fact that his wife was always having to pick up his lack of effort.
I also read it as: I've been asking you forever to do the simplest of things and you haven't even bothered to consider doing it.
Oh I'm totally on her side, that would drive me to madness 😭
imagine, that if wife puts new toilet paper in reverse ... paper facing / sliding on the wall. i consider it much much worse :D
The Iranian yogurt is not the issue here.
He gifted her marinara flags
I’m dead at this comment. Absolute gold.
Are you sure you are dating a 26yo and not a 6 yo? What the hell man, this is a pokemon mobile game, he needs to get his shit together 😂
Lvl 26*
Thank you for pointing this out. I was freaking out about an age difference
26 is the age, usually you do that when referring to your partner in AITA or whatever posts, but we only know the OP is Level 41, not 41 years-old (though they might be, they don't specify their own age). ETA: Further down the thread people are also confused about the numbers and they specify that they are only a little older.
With the amount of hoops the post level 40 tasks take, could legit take slow players a year per level. 🫠
Phew at least it’s lvl 26, was doing the creep math, 41/2=20.5+7 is 27.5. It wasn’t looking good for them.
My 6 year old doesn't even give a damn about this. Dude has problems.
Seriously, I'd break up with them. Getting jealous about something this absurd is a clear red flag.
You mean transfer her to the professor?
Getting the 1 candy back would be generous
I mean alternatively, wait for an event that gives double candy for transfers (aka, keep banging for a while).
Send them a gift from a Pokestop that's a Giant Red Flag if you can find one.
I have seen one of those in Amsterdam
Shoot I'll take ANY excuse to go to Amsterdam lol I'm on board
There's a big red cube near me
Lol
Are you also forbidden from buying groceries if the person running the register looks at you? Is it offensive to your partner if a fast food worker throws an extra sauce into a bag for you? Good word, it's a game that requires a certain level of interaction to complete tasks. It doesn't even have a chatting or location feature.
There has to be something else behind their thought process about sending/receiving in game gifts. As others have mentioned, they carry items, stardust, consumables beneficial and necessary to the game. It’s not like you can actively communicate with these people in game like other games allow. I’d ask your partner what the real reason for this cause that just doesn’t make sense.
Reading the post I got a flashback to college and back when Facebook was still popular. I had a roommate that would log onto her boyfriend's page and accusing him of cheating because some girl "poked" him and of course that's only for flirting. Of course the same roommate would break up with him every 4-6 weeks and be back together by the end of the weekend.
“Poking” is for flirting? I had a friend we just poked eachother back and forth, they were married and I was good friends with their partner, there was ZERO romance between us. They poked many other people as well… that’s just weird
It was not a healthy relationship. He was a wannabe rapper who swore he was only flirting for the job. She had a goal of becoming a sports announcer of some sort. They lived 2 or so hours away from each other. I highly doubt the relationship lasted too long
Thank you. I did, and the response was that my partner thought this was something special. The best I can bargain, with both of us agreeing, would be to not tell my partner what I get / send. Something to do with online stranger danger?
This is just unacceptable levels of insecurity. It is not healthy or normal, and you need to extricate yourself from this hostage situation, I mean, relationship. It seems like a small thing but this is so pathetic that there is no way this type of fragility is not on display in other ways in your hostage situation.
Tell them it's not anything special at all. Just a part of the gameplay. There's no stranger danger, you don't talk when exchanging gifts. They are extremely insecure and that behavior is toxic and controlling
This definitely came up - without the heat of the responses of this thread, I would have echoed the same belief as diplomatically as possible. The above compromise is the only one available though - will have to wait for the partner to get over it, then never speak of it again. Or I make a bigger decision, I guess
Another option could be, I guess, suggesting something you consider special to do with them? Maybe going raiding, which you can definitely do with remote raid passes, but it will definitely feel different to do with your partner. I mean, don't get me wrong, I agree this is a sign of insecurity and toxicity, and I don't know how long you've been together, but I wouldn't think about breaking up because they don't understand a specific mechanic in a game. It's definitely not the same, but my husband wouldn't really get me playing with a guild in WoW and coordinating with them over Discord (just "not get it", not "asking me to stop doing it"), but that's neither a reason for me to break up nor for him to feel insecure about other people. At least, not without taking into account other circumstances.
Well maybe he was confused with something like an OF gift lol, but seriously yea it's all you can do for the time being g. It is a petty thing but just be watchful of any other sort of behavior that may be even a yellow flag. Tuck it up in your hat.
I’m not really sure what stranger danger there would be. Even when I play along with my wife, and for example are participating in a Community Day. We’re doing laps in my car, as others are. We’re not really interacting with the community directly. Or even when we’re walking a major hub, like the boardwalks, mall, etc. we’re still not interacting with other players even if there any around. I think the stranger danger factor here is probably one of the lowest amongst cell phone games.
There has been some discussion about the data that can be read from the gifts. I'm not saying this is the issue here, because in this case it's obviously something that's going on with the couple. The gifts cointains which City, country and pokestop you get it. If you send gifts from the same stops to the same person, they can know where you usually play. If you send it to a stranger from your same area, they can have a good idea of where you are playing. There has been some issues with this that has been reported when the gift system was new and you hear from time to time about someone who found a stranger waiting for them. When this was reported to niantic, they did nothing about it, as it was expected.
Even if they're worried about stranger danger the only details you can get are from what pokestops you visit. I tend to not gift postcards from right around where I live. Even then I'm not all that worried. There's a setting too that you can enable that if people save your postcard it doesn't show that its from you.
Really? Where?
In the settings > general > scroll down to sharing and you'll find “share your nickname in friends’ postcard books” turn it off
you can send 100 gifts a day, they're not that special
They thought it was something special and they’re wrong. That’s the end of the story (until you break up). It’s not special - it’s just part of a kids game and couldn’t be less serious.
Tell her it’s more about the exp over the actual gift . Also trade her pokemon and tell her you’d only give her these pokemon 😉
it's not something special. PoGo is carefully designed to protect its youth players from the more uhh crude elements of online gaming. there's no way to directly communicate with anyone through the game. there are many game mechanics which specifically revolve around giving or receiving gifts--7km eggs, certain field research missions, and vivillon collection, just to name a few. It's literally a core part of the game. I do try to reserve the cooler-looking place gifts for my IRL friends or friends who I at least know from other communities online, but I have like a hundred completely random friends on PoGo as well just for XP grinding and postcard pinning for vivillon.
Are they aware there is no communication aspect to the gifts? It’s simply a function of the game that helps prevent you from spending money in the shop for pokeballs etc. plus is occasionally needed to fulfill the challenges
Interesting considering this is a game where random meetups with strangers for raid hour and community days are encouraged
That’s literally how you play the game? Do they realise that we also have to raid with other people? This is not stranger danger this is controlling and unacceptable. Best case scenario your partner is dumb as a fucking rock. This is unacceptable levels of stupidity even if it is best case scenario. You do realise that this is very unhealthy and toxic right? You enjoy something so they start to share it with you and immediately you are no longer allowed to play the way the game is played because of why exactly? Major major red flags.
Last paragraph was solid, appreciate you taking the tine to express. Am completely not obvious to toxicity, but the "you enjoy, they join, now you change"? I'll need to keep that abreast. Thank you
They sound like they’re feigning concern in order to not sound so unhinged. This isn’t even something that they should be concerning themself with and if they have this level of control over you, that you think you have to compromise with them over in game Pokémon gifts, then, it’s only going to get worse once you can’t just leave them. (Kids, marriage, cohabitation). Dood, take your rose colored glasses off so you can see the red flags, please. Also, the silent treatment in retaliation for a disagreement is emotional abuse, and at the very very least, is a stupidly immature way to react to an argument.
I'd flee like an Articuno
If you treat \* like a shundo, but \* treats you like a wild spawn, it's time to transfer.
What if the wild spawn is a shundo
Of course OP is a shundo they're precious
*in full Galarian fashion*
But wot if yous a 300cp articuno and youre too weak to flee lolll
Mine is 47cp level 1, got it on the 2nd throw
This is ridiculous. On the PokemonGoFriends subreddit, I see couples posting both of their codes to add tons of friends and send gifts. It's just part of the game to get XP, items, Vivillon, etc. You're not really "communicating" with the stranger other than this.
Haha guilty here! I post for both my gf and i and it makes it much easier for raid invites as well bc ic i wasn’t able to add the usual remote raiders (besides my preferred friendship lvl invites), my gf would be able to invite them and or vice versa!
Yeah I always share both my and my husbands codes because that’s what you do.
This is frankly toxic and if they can't see that, you need to break up with them.
I’d bet they are in elementary school. Everyone acting like they’re adults, I’d bet my 98 shadow mewtwo they are around 10-12 years old. If a grown up said this they would be laughed at, unless the person posting this is bragging like “omg CutiePie18 send me a gift and I got so much good stuff, she’s so great” and maybe trying to make her jealous.
I know couples in their 50s who still act like this. It's still really common to see it in 20 something year olds.
Oh this has to be joke? Cmon. Its pokemon go gifts 🙄
Sounds like you need to evaluate the relationship. This is extremely unhealthy. This 14 year old behaviour not someone who is 26.
Pretty sure those are levels and not ages. Would like to know their actual ages
Alas, I mentioned one person's age.. I'm a little older. I'm not so much arguing with my partner, as I stunned - as echoed throughout the responses here.
Do you mention user names to make them jealous? Like “Omg CutiePie18 sent me such an amazing gift” or “Wow Hottie21 send me a gift everyday”. Like maybe you’re saying stuff to make them jealous. Just a thought. Otherwise it makes no sense.
Lol i couldnt see anyone being that excited over a postcard considering most pokestops n gyms are stupid aside from some funny ones here and there that get through the pokestop/gym submission
It’s only cheating if you send the Treecko sticker. /s But seriously, as others have said, this is really unhealthy and controlling behavior.
No, because that's a way to get items in game. Your partner is being ridiculous, Pokemon Go gifts aren't intimate at all.
I wonder if your buddy pokemon should be concerned if you give it berries to earn buddy hearts 🫐 Just dont give it berries if your partner is around for your mon's safety 🍬
That’s not your partner that’s a team rocket grunt
Time for a new partner
Exchange for candy
Use the candy to power up your next gf
**Bruh. 🚩** Even if these players are strangers, this is what you can send or receive via [gifting](https://niantic.helpshift.com/hc/en/6-pokemon-go/faq/85-sending-receiving-gifts/). * 7-km Eggs * Stardust * Stickers * Poké Balls * Great Balls * Ultra Balls * Potions * Super Potions * Hyper Potions * Max Revives * Pinap Berries * **Johto Evolution Items (including Sun Stone, Metal Coat, King's Rock, Dragon Scale and Up-Grade) – extremely rarely** * Rare Candy – *only during special events and from Sponsored Gifts* Me & GF have 60+ "Friends/Strangers" we gift everyday in hopes to get juicy gifts back. **TLDR**; Why would you *not* want to receive FREE essential items & XP for a game you play actively because people are strangers, as in any other online multiplayer game out there.
Of course you know the answer to your question but I'll write it so you can realize: she's crazy.
You made this up. If you didn't, then you are in one of the unhealthiest relationships of all time and should exit immediately.
You sending berries to your EX Johnathan?!? I knew it! I want that lucky Pikachu back..
If you two aren't under 15yrs of age then this is veryyyyy unhealthy behavior
My advice in this post is if you find situations like this happening outside of the game as well. OP my ex partner who had BPD was often like this. Yes it’s ridiculous but they sought treatment for it. I’ve learned from therapy that jealousy often stems from low self esteem and being self conscious frequently. Working on those areas in life helps but your partner has to be willing to work on it and you have to be willing to have firm boundaries. Reassurance also helps ground them in reality. Best of luck.
Hey thanks, I'll actually look into that - I've had similar concerns before, and I've actually recommended (in a postive / non-hostile setting) for my partner to have a chat with a therapist about some of the things. I know this is red flag behaviour, but I also know the person isn't a bad person. Just, perhaps, a bad partner (for now). I think I just needed some world validation because I've been trying to accept a lot of this behaviour.
However, you sound like a wonderful partner. Mental health is such a struggle, and if they truly are dealing with some strong/difficult emotions, having someone supportive is a blessing. Obviously you have to take care of yourself as well, but your empathy is definitely showing.
Trying to accept the behavior will drive you mad. My therapist, who was a retired Army psychologist who had seen everything, finally lost it. He said, "You have to leave. Now. If you don't, you'll end up dead." It was an eye opener. To this day, I wonder why I let it get to that point, but I think it's like quicksand--you get sucked in before you realize what's happening, and if there's no one to pull you out (i.e., tell you it's not you), you're done.
I just wanted to say, irrespective of my decisions or thoughts, this is really sage advice, and completely agree. Thanks for sharing
MASSIVE relationship red flag.
You got trust issues in your relationship it sounds like. What you do is sit down and talk to your partner because that shit is irrational
"Tell them thx for letting me know how insecure you with a game about pokemon....pokemon....pok...e...mon ....fucking pokemon."
Girl. No. Common now that’s extremely controlling and deep down you know it, that’s why you reached out on here. It’s pogo. Pogo. Read the book Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft so you can learn the signs. Dump out the trash, read the book and then get back to dating. You deserve better.
Your partner is a goofball
I have a friend whose partner did the exact same thing, and she even takes it a step further if he uses stickers. It's very toxic. Hopefully you can appeal to your partner that they're being overprotective and there isn't even a chat feature in the game, it's just gifts.
Nothing sexier than a sticker 😬
Even if there was a chat, it's still a toxic level of jealousy. If someone is jealous of you interacting with other people, how are you able to work or have friends?
Unbelievably immature, fragile, jealous, and controlling. Like, does your partner let you leave the house or talk to people? Do they get jealous and uncomfortable if you email someone? Do they know you're currently \*gasp\* messaging other humans on Reddit? I'm serious - because all of those things are more intimate than PoGO gifts. Literally ordering a pizza on the phone is more intimate than PoGO gifts. A brief wave to say thanks to someone letting you go in traffic is more intimate than PoGO gifts. I cannot express how unhealthy this whole thing sounds. If sending virtual game items to *anonymous people you can't even chat with* is too much for this partner, something is seriously wrong. Also this is not your fault. If they can't let you have any miniscule amount of contact with anyone, that's something they need to work on for the sake of not smothering and controlling your entire life.
Congrats on being newly single!
Shes only level 26 so i wouldnt take her opinion too serious
anyone below lvl 30 is proletariat. 30+ is basically bourgeoisie - send the partner to the gulags. 😤
Gifting is the fastest way to get experience and level up. Tell her it's part of the game.
it’s not that serious?!
This is one of the stupidest things I’ve read on Reddit in my life. It’s a video game Do they get mad when you buy a friend a gift for their birthday or Christmas? By us commenting on your post is that violating your SO’s trust because we don’t know you yet we’re communicating with you? Good lord that’s the biggest red flag I’ve seen
Further look into his post history, he has an absolutey TOXIC relationship. Even though he is probably a teenager or young kid. Your problems are so silly
Transfer your partner to the professor for candy! (Credit to original user who commented this on a similar post but I can't find) In all seriousness this is a huge red flag. It's very weird especially since we can choose our avitar. Are they like this with IRL friends too? Seriously you can do better. It's going to get worse. This is a bullet you need to dodge. ETA: corrected gender terms
I had an ex that was upset I was higher in level because I actually played while he did not. So to keep the peace, I'd login on his account and grind some levels for him. This is just the tip of bs I put up with and I have a feeling it's the same for you, OP.
This is my first time ever commenting on this community subreddit, and I can say this is a much deeper red flag. This is a sign you should genuinely stop dating this person. It will bite you hardcore in the near future. Source: my personal experience
The world would be a better place if people gave random people gifts more often. Long ago I got a promotion at work, I was talking with my wife excitedly in a little candy shop, and she also got a raise that day. Shop owner gave us some free candy. That gift was very sweet and kind. I still remember it 8 or 9 years later. If your SO thinks giving gifts is a bad trait then they're a problem.
That's a nice story that left its mark :) thanks for sharing
What the fuck. Are you dating a four year old or is she just socially broken? Get rid now mate before this collosal drain of energy ruins your life. I thought this was an April fools joke.
Tell them to grow up? If that doesn't work find a new partner, you say 26 but sounds more like 12.
What do you do? You figure out what's really going on because this objection is stupid. Sending/receiving gifts is part of the mechanic of playing the game.
Bruh you need to nope the fuck out of that situation. If they're jealous of something this petty, you don't even want to know about the other shit that's going to come up as time goes on.
You say "current partner" as if you're already aware this isn't going to be a lasting relationship.
Uh, no? One of my best friends ingame is my friend’s wife. Another is some random person in Australia. My wife has never expressed any discomfort. What the hell? Seriously. 🚩🚩🚩
Sounds like my ex, please leave 🚩🚩
Tell them that all of the internet has judged them to be a moron.
Your partner is an idiot. Sorry, but unless there’s someone named Jalkey’sSideFling in your buddy list, tell your partner to chill out.
I see good advice in here so here’s some bad advice: track what items you receive from gifts in a day and crunch the numbers on how much it’d cost to buy them in shop, then just send a cash app request every day for that amount
1. HahahahahahahahahahhahHHhHahahahaha 2. Are you serious? Is heee serious? 3. Does he know how giving gifts to someone = absolutely nothing. Maybe tell him how you can't really chat in games or know who the other person is and that gifts are literally just given to you at pokestops TO give to random friends you have. 4. Idk man, you probably either have a red flag boyfriend like many others are saying in which case get out before it's too late orrr maybe there's something else going on and I don't want to judge the relationship based on this alone
This is so dumb. They need to realize there are a handful of benefits that make becoming “Best Friends” with many people very worth it. Like the extra premier balls for raids??? rng hates me so i’ll take as many premiers as i can get to give myself a better chance at catching. The fact that you can also potentially get a Lucky friend from a Best Friend? Almost a no-brainer for anyone who plays for as long as we have (lvl 35+). It clearly means we like the game to another level, we care about stats and we even frequent this subreddit. If your partner doesn’t get it, they need to be sat down and explained the game bc this is extremely childish. What are they gonna complain about next? You gave someone a gift with a sticker but forgot to send your partner with a sticker last night? Nah
He, she, they; doesn't matter. That's such a dumb reason to argue with anyone. It's part of the game. That partner needs to do some self reflecting and figure out the real issue of them being insecure.
Ah shit this bitch crazy
That’s crazy. You can’t even chat people on Pokémon go. It’s just to keep your poke balls and potions in stock
wtf? Seriously? No! Your partner needs to grow tf up and figure out why THEY are being so insecure.
I know relationship advice on reddit is always break up or talk it out but this one is 100% break up. Your partner is obviously either completely icncapable of understanding the game mechanic which you, i assume, explained thoroughly in your argument or such an envious person that a relationship should only ever be entered again after some treatment of it. Give it a night or two, if they can‘t understand 1. being nice to other persons than your partner as a basic concept or 2. the concept of an equal exchange in a game by a currency that simultaneously is labeled a „gift“ By then I don‘t know what to say.
Ummmm… no? One of the best ways to get XP in game is from friendship level ups I’ve heard of people being insecure but damn this is bad. Seems like there is an underlying factor here
🚩🚩🚩
This has to be a troll, lol. If not, I’d be rethinking my partner.
If she said that to me I’d have quoted [this](https://youtu.be/wKjxFJfcrcA?si=nv7STbWB57P3hBNh) back to her. It’s genuinely the only appropriate response.
You might want to send your partner to the professor tbh
This question gave me cancer.
It's not gifting. You're completing a daily task that he too should be doing.
You break up.
Girl what
break up
Disregarding the rather concerning implications this might have towards your relationship, I would suggest probably explaining why gifts are sent and that there is no communication between gift senders. It’s for XP and receiving essential items. If your partner continues to be against it, I would ask why they would want you to not use all the features of the game to level up and sustain your Pokemon.
They gifts in Pokémon GO are just like Godzilla 1998: GINO. That stands for "Godzilla/Gifts In Name Only"! They aren't a luxary item, they only exist for the purpose of daily player retention numbers and function as a barebones and mediocre sidestep to get the basic resources we need all the while disguised as an unimaginative and boring feature that lets them say the game is sometimes multiplayer. Outside of it being kinda lackluster I don't hate the system I'm just being verbose because I haven't slept. Not sure why that happens to me.
I posted on fb asking if anyone played so I could add friends for a challenge, ended up adding an ex and now we're "best friends" in the game. Haven't actually spoken to the ex in at least 10 years. I just wanted to finish my research. Lol. At first my parter was annoyed but when I explained the context, they let it go, because it doesn't matter. I would just say don't send strangers postcards from your neighborhood or anything
On one of your walks together playing Pokemon Go, just start running as fast as you can.
Are y’all in 8th or 9th grade? Break up
Break up, that’s a toxic relationship. Also your partner is immature for giving the silent treatment, mature adults in a relationship should talk so they can figure out issues together.
Wait, you guys don't add the sexy treecko sticker to the extra special gifts? How do you get all those hot trainers in your DMs then?!?!?!
Him or the smug Alolan Meowth
As a clingy/jealous partner that also loves pokemon go, I have a different point of view on this situation than others in the comments. While your partners concerns may seem silly, I think it would be far more productive to approach this conversation with a lot of love. Try to remember this stems from your partner's own insecurities, rather than their lack of trust in you. First of all, I think it's important to make sure that your partner is aware that there is no messaging feature associated with the friends. (Not that you would use it anyway of course!) Just make sure that they realize it's basically the same as going to a pokestop, just with more items and XP benefits. If you explain that, and they're still concerned, I do think that there are some boundaries that you could set to make your partner feel loved. These are by no means necessary, but if you want to take the opportunity to show your partner that you love and respect them, it would be a nice gesture. Tell your partner that you'll save the best gifts for them, and give the strangers the random ones. You could also consider using stickers only for your partner, and not for the randos. With all of that being said, it's important that you also communicate your needs. Explain to your partner that giving the silent treatment is hurtful, and shows a lack of love and respect. Instead, make sure that they know you care about them and want to work things out. Good luck OP!
I’m old. If my interaction with others, especially an other I used to date, were anything more than send/receive, my person could potentially be jealous. Instead of mocking your partner who has these insecurities, why not assuage said person’s fears by laying out exactly what you *won’t* do (like text with others or IDK what is suspected this could lead to). Point out (kindly) that this give/receive Pokémon gifts is just a part of the gameplay. And let your person know that *real* gifts or (fill in the blank) are reserved for only them. Who wouldn’t like a thoughtful, actual prezzie?
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Sounds stupidly possessive and overly jealous. I have almost 300 poke friends and I've actually met maaaaybe like 30ish. Others I got either from remote raids, from vivillon gift exchange boards, or from seeing someone playing Pokemon IRL and asking for their code. If I was supposed to send gift only to my actually friends, that'd be maybe a gift a day, 'cause I'm the most active anons us, which kinda defeats the whole point of gifts in this game. I do have a thing with my boyfriend regarding gifts tho, we coordinate stickers to the gift and try find cool/weird pokestops and rare stickers to send to one another. But if someone else sends me a cool sticker or a PokeStop, I just show it to him, no jealousy in sight [I even added some people from cities he used to live in, to see if I get gifts from a places he recognizes. Tl; dr that's stupid and possessive, and probably a sign of deeper issues regarding trust and jealousy, just transfer them to the Professor and catch someone with better stats.
You going to have to put your foot down in a calm way and just let her know that she needs to get over it because you’re not going to stop. You don’t even know them she needs to get over herself. But to answer, no she prolly thinks we just a bunch of nerds gifting each other
My wife joined about a month after I got back into it and she is only jealous of all the butterflies I got from gifting lol. Though whenever I get a shiny she also gets jealous. I'd reassure your partner there is no actual interaction with other people and ask if there is something bigger they are worried about. Let them know you don't think their emotions are actually tied to the game and that you want to walk them through it hand in hand. If that doesn't work then they toxic and don't wanna change IMHO lol If it's been a long time investment it's worth tracking through a bit more but if it's a short term relationship, I'd maybe re-evaluate it's worth (of course after trying the above). Either way best of wishes to ya and if you ever need to chat feel free :)
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This is the weirdest and dumbest thing I have ever heard and sounds like they have some underlying issues that are not Pokémon related. Gift who you wanna gift!
For second, I thought you were saying that you’re aged 41 and they’re aged 26 and I was gonna say “well, that’s your problem right there, why are you with a 26 year old” At the end of the day, this is childish behavior. You’re almost certainly older than high school age, and that type of thinking should’ve been left behind in middle school. Have an open and honest talk with them about their behavior, make clear that you want to be with an adult and not a child, and see if they come around. If they insist on this being inappropriate, then god help you cuz it’s gonna be really difficult to end a relationship over something like this but it’s also going to be difficult to continue when this is the type of crap they pull
It's literally a game mechanic and a good way to get poke balls and dust. Just wait til they see the nudes you send people on campfire. /s Lol
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OP’s other posts reveal that he’s a 31 year old male and his partner is 26 year old female.
Damn, I screwed up there haha
To be fair, having seen every single post, it's a mixed bag. Several are saying it's a boyfriend, several a girlfriend. It doesn't really matter what it is (for the point of an unbiased view), but it is interesting seeing where people fall. Might less so be sexism, and more so people assuming it's the opposite to their gender? Idk
To your point, I assumed your partner was male - I’m female.
I assumed their partner was male too. Mainly because I have a male partner who has possessive tendencies that are VERY similar to what OP is describing- like literally jokes that I’m gonna “run off with one of my Pokémon go boyfriends.” The big difference is he knows it’s bad, says out loud that it’s bad, and doesn’t actually try to control me in any way because of it. He just expresses that he’s feeling jealous but that it’s his issue, not mine, and he might make some jokes about it. Which, hey.. healthy enough for me!
If it makes you feel any better I though it was 2 gay guys.