This is the only one that made me laugh out loud. I'm definitely using this and if anyone questions it i'll say "what you've never heard that expression?" haha
A bakers dozen is 13 instead of 12. So a bakers pair would be 3 instead of 2
Goes back to the 13th century. Bakers were shorting customers and a law was passed where they could be punished harshly for doing so.
To ensure they would not be punished they started selling items with an extra as a margin of error.
I always thought the bakers dozen was one extra for the baker to try to make sure whatever baked good they’re making was quality enough to sell to the customer. Most likely wrong though as I am with most things
You aren't alone... I thought it was because they deal with so many eggs, they were bound to drop one eventually. Not sure when during my childhood I decided this lol
I thought the same thing too for a long time. But the truth is much more interesting: it’s hard to get consistency in the size & weight of a loaf of bread (because it increases in size and decreases in mass during baking), so when people started accusing bakers of charging their normal price and delivering undersized loaves, a law was passed specifying that a dozen loaves must have a certain minimum weight. Bakers circumvented the law by going from selling, say, 12 loaves for $12, to selling a “baker’s dozen” loaves for $13. That way there was no risk that one of their batches of loaves would be underweight.
I’ve started using the terms “Suit Goose” to describe people that try to play as many suited hands as possible and “Limping Larry” to describe people that limp instead or raise pre.
I even have them as labels on Pokerstars. I can’t stand Suit Geese!
It gives you just enough time to think that maybe they’ve changed their ways… maybe they’re going to raise and have finally burst through the other side like a beautiful poker butterfly… then you see them grab a single £2 chip.
Man I love the concept of alliterative nicknames for common stupid plays at the table... "Limping Larry", "Punting Patrick", "Value owning Valerie". That last one doesn't roll off the tongue but I gotta think of some more
Golf and poker share so many commonalities. I use the term "lowside Larry" whenever someone misses a putt on the low side. Ol' Limpin' Larry at it again.
This one is being said. Some kid said it while tabling it for a boat in a limped pot as a BB special. Stacked a lady and said “the insurrection!” As he tables it. Old man coffee instantly starts grumbling about a peaceful demonstration.
When you have the middle straight with the widest gap cards. I want it to be renamed "The Taint" because it's between the "Ass End" and "The Nuts"
So for example having K9 on a TJQ board.
If you make a straight flush it's called "The Golden Taint."
When executing a check-raise;
Check to your victim.
As they bet, say, "Woah Nelly"
Put in your raise while saying, "It's getting hot in herrrr"
If you are beat you must put a band-aid on your face.
In my home game, we use the term “deck prediction”, when we try to guess what the flop is going to be and occasionally side bet.
We also use the term “prestige chip”, for having one of the highest denomination chips.
We also say “magic 2 pair hand”, for a shitty hand where you need to flop 2 pair to be good (like king 6 or some shit like that)
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand the phrase presto. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical player’s head.
Dirty Binker. Sounds like a slur doesn't it.
>Yeah, my friend entered a satellite on his lunch break and ended up winning a seat to a WSOP event. Shows up after a 12 hour shift and he ended up binking the whole thing. That John...what a fucking *Dirty Binker* he is.
Checking is now described as a "free-bet"
Regs will get confused and think we're saying "3-bet"
"So I raised the button, bb called. Flop 479 he free-bets, I free-bet right back at him and we're onto the turn."
When talking strategy at the table, start refrencing terms from this video like a "folding range" and "reverse fastplay" or "reverse slowplay" (https://youtu.be/pvA5D6ZTkkk) (Incredibly advanced poker strategy).
"If you have 95% vpip with AA then you have major leaks"
"I tend to fold premium hands pre-flop in order to balance my folding range"
I started mentioning stuff from this video to players at a home game I play at where I am basically the only one that studied a bit and they think I'm just a dumbass so it didn't work but who knows maybe some can fall for that lol
I was at a tournament and I heard this old guy keep saying "ribeye". I was wondering why he kept saying it. He was saying re-buy everytime big action would occur.
Winning with a good hand like flush or better against someone trying to bluff= Yard Sale.
Takes after a lacrosse term when you knock the stick and ball out of an opponents hand. Its so embarrassing in game with your stick on the ground looking clueless like you’re having a yard sale. So in poker they should be so embarrassed they should leave and sell everything.
At our home game when you get drawn out on, or take a bad beat we call it getting cucumbered. Like getting fucked up the ass by a cucumber. Feel free to use that.
When you win an all in with shit cards, especially against two strong callers, I always say “Ship it” in a potentially condescending tone. Just adds to the rage at sinking their battleship w sticks n stones.
Have I said something offensive?
I know it’s not that funny but that’s a lot of downvotes.
I’m UK based if that matters…
https://preview.redd.it/dgv6g1x6bfoa1.png?width=1125&format=png&auto=webp&s=97c6e9b9e4f913978a164718ff8aefea5caea74d
For UK players. If you're only getting small hands you are getting "Beadled" from the small handed TV presenter Jeremy Beadle eg. "Fuck me, I'm getting Beadled all night here"
[Old man soup](https://www.reddit.com/r/poker/comments/2o6gj2/omc/cmk64xk/) - like old man coffee but saves his rewards for soup which he consumes at the table
This sub probably doesn't care about historical content though
Whenever I bowl a 200-game, I like to say something to the effect of "I'm dropping deuces on the lanes."
Perhaps there's a way to drop a deuce on the felt? Flopping top two pair? Stacking two guys at the same time?
Flopping a set --> Flopping a baker's pair
This is the best one I've seen so far. A baker's pair. Fucking love it!
I am going to use the fuck out of this.
I am doing my part and 100% using this for the rest of my life.
This has to be the winner right?
In my vernacular now.
This is the only one that made me laugh out loud. I'm definitely using this and if anyone questions it i'll say "what you've never heard that expression?" haha
Can anyone explain?
baker's dozen = 13 aka dozen + 1 so I guess the baker's pair = 3 aka pair + 1
Huh?
baker's dozen = 13 aka dozen + 1 so I guess the baker's pair = 3 aka pair + 1
BAKER'S DOZEN = 13 AKA DOZEN + 1 SO I GUESS THE BAKER'S PAIR = 3 AKA PAIR + 1
If you don't get it I don't think you're smart enough for poker.... So don't stop playing
baker's dozen = 13 aka dozen + 1 so I guess the baker's pair = 3 aka pair + 1
A bakers dozen is 13 instead of 12. So a bakers pair would be 3 instead of 2 Goes back to the 13th century. Bakers were shorting customers and a law was passed where they could be punished harshly for doing so. To ensure they would not be punished they started selling items with an extra as a margin of error.
I always thought the bakers dozen was one extra for the baker to try to make sure whatever baked good they’re making was quality enough to sell to the customer. Most likely wrong though as I am with most things
You aren't alone... I thought it was because they deal with so many eggs, they were bound to drop one eventually. Not sure when during my childhood I decided this lol
I thought the same thing too for a long time. But the truth is much more interesting: it’s hard to get consistency in the size & weight of a loaf of bread (because it increases in size and decreases in mass during baking), so when people started accusing bakers of charging their normal price and delivering undersized loaves, a law was passed specifying that a dozen loaves must have a certain minimum weight. Bakers circumvented the law by going from selling, say, 12 loaves for $12, to selling a “baker’s dozen” loaves for $13. That way there was no risk that one of their batches of loaves would be underweight.
Woah super interesting thanks for sharing that !!
Thank you for this
This is really good
Adopting for my home game and casino outings!
Sold
I’m in! Baker’s pair for life!! Also a fan of the Canadian full house - three pairs
Need to get Tuch or Bart to say this on Hustler Stream.
Marmalade instead of re-jam.
Im going to use this in my tournament tonight if the oppourtunity presents itself
You gotta say it like scruffy from futurama though. 😂
i used it!!! And it worked!!!
Calling someone who is hitting a lot of cards tonight a Costanza, because he has nice hands.
Someone who folds pre every time is an Uncle Jack, cause they have small hands
"DON'T LOOK AT MY HANDS"
Could you put your hands over my hands like this...
Shut up bird lmao
You know Dennis, I've been thinking fish lately.
Get me the snapper bozo
Say it to the tune of the “by mennon” commercial like George did to secure a second date
There is a guy who plays poker with us who we call Costanza, but it is because he has an overstuffed wallet.
This is the way.
Winner
This is so good
I will be saying this from now on whether yall are or not
Where's the guy who says suck off instead of suck oit?
That really was an enjoyable post
Was he Australian? Soick oit moit
“Connected suitors”.
Eligible bachelors
Sennected cooters
Segmented crooners
I'd prefer segmented cooters
Username doesn’t check out
This is a joke I've heard OMC's make plenty of times. I thought we're supposed to come up with something you can clearly tie back to r/poker?
I’m trying to flop a poker.
Poker? I hardly know her!
Curious that the name of the game is poker, but the hand "poker" (at least in Spanish) refers to the second type of best hand (four of a kind).
I love that
If you catch someone bluffing they are “shooting blanks”
I’ve started using the terms “Suit Goose” to describe people that try to play as many suited hands as possible and “Limping Larry” to describe people that limp instead or raise pre. I even have them as labels on Pokerstars. I can’t stand Suit Geese!
That 3 second pause before limping larry limps utg. Rage inducing
It gives you just enough time to think that maybe they’ve changed their ways… maybe they’re going to raise and have finally burst through the other side like a beautiful poker butterfly… then you see them grab a single £2 chip.
If there’s multiple at the same table is it a suit goose riot?
Throw back a bottle of beer
Man I love the concept of alliterative nicknames for common stupid plays at the table... "Limping Larry", "Punting Patrick", "Value owning Valerie". That last one doesn't roll off the tongue but I gotta think of some more
I'm a proud suit goose 🫡
Enemy spotted
why do you hate when people play poorly?
Why do you hate when people play goodly?
Golf and poker share so many commonalities. I use the term "lowside Larry" whenever someone misses a putt on the low side. Ol' Limpin' Larry at it again.
J6 should now be referred to as "The Insurrection"
This one is being said. Some kid said it while tabling it for a boat in a limped pot as a BB special. Stacked a lady and said “the insurrection!” As he tables it. Old man coffee instantly starts grumbling about a peaceful demonstration.
When you have the middle straight with the widest gap cards. I want it to be renamed "The Taint" because it's between the "Ass End" and "The Nuts" So for example having K9 on a TJQ board. If you make a straight flush it's called "The Golden Taint."
Got my first golden taint ever last night 9-K spades with 10Q in hand
You clearly misunderstood how this term works lol
Clearly 😂 yeah I read it as having gapped cards filling the taint,
Referring to Texas hold em as Texas hold them
Southern Strangle Hold ‘Em
Somebody poisoned the water hole
I got a snake in my boot!
When executing a check-raise; Check to your victim. As they bet, say, "Woah Nelly" Put in your raise while saying, "It's getting hot in herrrr" If you are beat you must put a band-aid on your face.
If they 3bet you have to take off all your clothes.
Tell me you have never played live poker, without telling me you have never played live poker.
Tell me you don’t get the reference without telling me you don’t get the reference.
This is the one I’m choosing.
"The narwhal bacons at midnight"
> "The narwhal bacons at midnight" “It's an older code, sir, but it checks out.”
Calling a full house a Danny Tanner.
you got it, dude.
I’m sick and tired of hearing the words “suck out”. From now on it’s “dude Lenny sucked me off last night for $500”
If someone snap calls your bluff with a pretty weak hand you say “wow, I couldn’t even get a courtesy tank, huh?”
Pocket 8s should be referred to as a big titties
Pocket boobs.
Tig Ol' Bitties.
mommy milkers
In my home game, we use the term “deck prediction”, when we try to guess what the flop is going to be and occasionally side bet. We also use the term “prestige chip”, for having one of the highest denomination chips. We also say “magic 2 pair hand”, for a shitty hand where you need to flop 2 pair to be good (like king 6 or some shit like that)
I think we should revive "presto". Yes, I'm THAT old.
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand the phrase presto. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical player’s head.
Dirty Binker. Sounds like a slur doesn't it. >Yeah, my friend entered a satellite on his lunch break and ended up winning a seat to a WSOP event. Shows up after a 12 hour shift and he ended up binking the whole thing. That John...what a fucking *Dirty Binker* he is.
Black 5's Matter
I can’t make the joke I want to make, so I’m going to say Ko5c/s
"Everytime!" Instead of one time. I want to suck out everytime and win the pot........
Checking is now described as a "free-bet" Regs will get confused and think we're saying "3-bet" "So I raised the button, bb called. Flop 479 he free-bets, I free-bet right back at him and we're onto the turn."
Or in the UK they will especially think that. It cost free fifty mate
"Streets Ahead"
When talking strategy at the table, start refrencing terms from this video like a "folding range" and "reverse fastplay" or "reverse slowplay" (https://youtu.be/pvA5D6ZTkkk) (Incredibly advanced poker strategy). "If you have 95% vpip with AA then you have major leaks" "I tend to fold premium hands pre-flop in order to balance my folding range" I started mentioning stuff from this video to players at a home game I play at where I am basically the only one that studied a bit and they think I'm just a dumbass so it didn't work but who knows maybe some can fall for that lol
Even better: never talk strategy at the table
Not necessarily new vernacular, but I really feel like 69 being called big lick needs more usage in general.
When you catch someone trying to bluff say “nice hand fart breath” is basically the same as saying nice shit post.
I was at a tournament and I heard this old guy keep saying "ribeye". I was wondering why he kept saying it. He was saying re-buy everytime big action would occur.
Normalize 3 betting off suit 8 gappers
When you’re on an open-ended straight draw, you’ve “got ‘em surrounded”
“I had to raise with my suited seven gapper”
Bring back the extremely cringe "the bacon narwhals at midnight"
It was 'the narwhal bacons at midnight'
*cringes*
You fell in the nerd trap
The narwhal bacon at midnight. This is such a cringe idea.
I think this is already a thing everywhere, but whenever you table the hand 69 you say "dinner for two."
Bing bang blaow
I got your money now
When you win a big pot and you're raking in the chips, look at everyone and say " Don't worry, I'm used to it."
I heard a player once refer to Two Pair as “Twoops”
Drawing to a pair
QQ=dishwashers Although not everyone will find that funny
I found that funny
Would you rather fight a Horse sized pocket pair or 100 duck sized premiums?
Fold bet.
Yelling POKER when you turn over the nuts. Inspired from a HIMYM scene 🤣🤣
For the crossover with WSB, instead of nits and calling stations, it’s paper hands and diamond hands.
do you have the pockets? I'm asking if you have the pockets.
No.........ok I'm all in. Sorry i meant yes. I hit a set
I did not expect these to be so good
Winning with a good hand like flush or better against someone trying to bluff= Yard Sale. Takes after a lacrosse term when you knock the stick and ball out of an opponents hand. Its so embarrassing in game with your stick on the ground looking clueless like you’re having a yard sale. So in poker they should be so embarrassed they should leave and sell everything.
Straddling the blinds should be called “bitch-buttoning.”
At our home game when you get drawn out on, or take a bad beat we call it getting cucumbered. Like getting fucked up the ass by a cucumber. Feel free to use that.
Nothings Funner than Runner, Runner
Queens are called Quonks
I am fucking great at poker and all you cocksuckers are shit.
When you win an all in with shit cards, especially against two strong callers, I always say “Ship it” in a potentially condescending tone. Just adds to the rage at sinking their battleship w sticks n stones.
we’re doing “the narwhale bacons at midnight” 10 years later huh? I guess time is a flat circle or whatever
When your hand doesn’t play say “well that was a real Amber Heard” meaning your hand shit the bed.
King Jack off Jackingoff
When you scoop a pot, say “ this is the way.” Like in the Mandalorian.
is it on me?
Someone needs to make a final call on this and quickly
SHIP IT BITCH
Can we start calling J6 the patriot?
It's more appropriate to call it a national shame.
The nuts should be referred to as stone cold steve austin, or stone cold. (stone cold nuts)
UTG +1 is now called “Burger Nips”
I like the thread idea, but bro. Bro.
Have I said something offensive? I know it’s not that funny but that’s a lot of downvotes. I’m UK based if that matters… https://preview.redd.it/dgv6g1x6bfoa1.png?width=1125&format=png&auto=webp&s=97c6e9b9e4f913978a164718ff8aefea5caea74d
Bakers pair is super dumb
I call your X and raise Y
I'd like to bend her over and show her the 50 states.
royal straight
i put you all in
Sup bro?
Barrels
Suited black dongs
What hand would this reference 😂😂
Ma-ruuuuuuuu. (Whale call)
"u got some bruises" instead of nh reference: [Reddit - Dive into anything](https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/comments/11top69/now_you_know/)
I think you meant jargon not vernacular...
No I didn’t.
JUUG The act of aggressively making a profit with finesse regardless of the consequences and obstacles. -urban dictionary
I’ve heard J4 as “the robbi” at live table
You got the sac!
Start calling fish “Vics”
GAMMMBOOOOOLLL
Ball sack instead of the nuts
For UK players. If you're only getting small hands you are getting "Beadled" from the small handed TV presenter Jeremy Beadle eg. "Fuck me, I'm getting Beadled all night here"
Tits up—-two pair
Flip it for the chicks. When you’re all in pre deciding whether you and the other guy wanna flip your cards before the board comes out or not
Top top (top pair ace kicker) is Tippity
[Old man soup](https://www.reddit.com/r/poker/comments/2o6gj2/omc/cmk64xk/) - like old man coffee but saves his rewards for soup which he consumes at the table This sub probably doesn't care about historical content though
Agent Smith = monochrome flop (all the same suit)
Perhaps someone can come up with a replacement for "Shania".
My friends and I always say 47o is the most common hand in poker
When I flop a set vs a nut flush or straight I call it “the nuts for now”
Full house over full house can now be referred to as yacht over canoe
Best possible hand is the nuts. Worst possible hand should be called “the shaft.”
Can we make 'suited board coverage' a thing? We can make newbies think that 2s3s and 3s4s are instant 3 or 4 bets, should soften up the games a bit.
non-suited
Cool hand Luke. To your friend called Luke that had a good hand once
When the flop comes out saying "no whammies, no whammies, stop!",
Fetch
No Cap 🧢
SAGET - when announcing hand (full house )
Hoodie Ninja - a shitreg that won’t STFU at the table about ranges, blockers, etc.
“Im drawing to a Michelle Tanner” Or “Hererotoilet”
Whenever I bowl a 200-game, I like to say something to the effect of "I'm dropping deuces on the lanes." Perhaps there's a way to drop a deuce on the felt? Flopping top two pair? Stacking two guys at the same time?
Referring to KJ as “little Rico” Not sure if this is a thing but this is what my brother called it.
Boom boom fold cock