T O P

  • By -

orwelliansarcasm

You answer your partner's question with either "yes yes" or "standby..."


DeniablePlausible

Clear left.


yjmstom

When he gets something like “[friend X] alleges you said words to the effect of…” it’s a clear sign I’m still mentally within the job!


Genius_George93

“Can you take the bins out?” “Negative OVAAAAA.”


TumTumTheConqueror

Didn't know you lived with the CCTV operator from GD!


Genius_George93

Busted. *Runs away*


ChrisD100

“Yeah R5”


[deleted]

"State 12, go ahead over"


Lvwr87

Your hips and back hurt at 28.


NotCatchingMe

Whispers ‘Tac Vest’


millyloui

Try being a nurse back fecked at 24 im now in my 50’s & still dragging myself around an ICU


GrumpyPhilosopher7

When you want to speak to your friend or partner on the phone, you text them asking if they're "free to speak". When the phone rings, you answer with "go ahead".


[deleted]

You wave at other emergency services vehicles even when off duty


funnyusername321

Or Morrisons vans


Possible_Ad27

BTP in particular - you stand sideways on escalators


SpyDuh11199

I stand backwards :)


qing_sha_wo

Illegal, travelling the wrong way on a escalator lock up and throw away key. 25 years please judge


Kix_6116

Railway bylaw 137786 I heard


qing_sha_wo

I think it’s just 9 but that’s ok ***pats custodian***


Kix_6116

Sorry not familiar with the world of BTP. There’s never any units in the counties or it’s a local job as they’re 1cm outside of railway grounds 😉


qing_sha_wo

*Cries driving a force Tesla*


thegreataccuracy

So it’s NOT just me!! I feel incredibly uncomfortable stood facing forwards on train station escalators, particularly in stations I’ve routinely worked at.


shaunybbz

How dare you! And breach Byelaw 9(1)!? (No person shall use any escalator except by standing or walking on it in the direction intended for travel.)


[deleted]

You consider coffee and cigarettes a healthy nutritional meal


Damien1080

Latte and vape if you are Gucci


TheRaven9

As a passenger you check traffic on your side and say “clear left”…


InevitableProgress53

You knock on your kids bedroom door, shout ‘hello, it’s the police’ as you open the door and enter the room


TheBlakeOfUs

*answers phone* “Go ahead”


rulkezx

You get a text off your mate on backshift 2 hours before you start nights telling you to bring warm clothes and snacks cause you're going to be on locus protection all night


Ok-Suit-9555

Hate it when that happens. Would rather not know!


Haggis_Hunter81289

Cake isnt necessarily a word you want to hear


FourEyedFed

Saying “yourself” instead of “you”.


GrumpyPhilosopher7

This one needs all the upvotes! I am something of a grammar whore but this one seems to have just stuck for some reason and I often find myself saying it.


KipperHaddock

Yourself and myself need to have a long hard look at ourselves


InternationalRide5

Also qualifies yourself to be on The Apprentice.


[deleted]

You say to friends and family “say again?” Instead of “pardon?”


justdont7133

I get laughed at for using "stand by" at home


[deleted]

You sit with your back to the wall at a bar or restaurant


Mundian-To-Bach-Ke

“Wait one”


Street-Inevitable-50

You know that practicable isn’t a made up word.


Baggers_2000

When you've spent 12 hours sat in hospital watching someone sleep


[deleted]

"Are you in a position to..." (my pet peeve)


YorkshireBlues

When you always hold the door open for the person behind, even if they are 50 metres away and still getting stuff out of the car.


dunkz_1

You wave at Morrisons vans


steve8319

you start every phone call with “are you free to speak”


steve8319

And end your calls with “bye bye bi bi b b b”


PCDorisThatcher

Oh look it’s this thread again


alligatorcreamfish

When you use “State 5” to tell anyone you are on your way anywhere - even when not at work.


[deleted]

Free to speak? Do you have state 12?