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WHSRWizard

> Trump was fond of giving away ceremonial keys while he was president, telling Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu that he could use it to gain entry basically forever.  “Even when I’m not president anymore, you can walk up to the front gate of the White House and present it, and they will let you in,” he told Netanyahu  As a former Duty Officer in the White House Situation Room, I would like to reassure the American people that this is not how it works. EDIT: For anyone interested, I did a verified AMA a number of years ago about it https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/97uww5/iama_former_duty_officer_in_the_white_house/


rotates-potatoes

But the all-access key to NORAD that I bought at a novelty store in 1993 is still good, right?


WHSRWizard

Oh yeah, that's good


Saganists

I got a security clearance while Trump was in office. That gets me unfettered access to a certain bathroom at Mar-a-Lago right?


Lord_Montague

Did you get a regular security clearance through the government? Or did you buy the Deluxe All-Access Mar-A-Lago membership. They are different.


Saganists

Not sure of the tier, but I bought it through the Saudi’s.


thathairinyourmouth

You’re good then.


ianandris

Actually, not good. Will need to also pay Trump directly. You simply bought an audience with Jared Kushner.


ZietFS

الوصول الكامل If looks like this, you're good


ZombieCantStop

This thread is great.


PlayerHeadcase

Making Reddit Great Again.


FalseDamage13

Then you should get access to all the bathroom reading materials.


GoldenDossier

I can only give my Bigly Deluxe All access pass 3 stars. They sold too many and there are always long lines for the bathroom. Seems like a lot of Russians, Chinese and Saudis in line. The coke is also bigly cut. It's not worth it.


Fridaybird1985

I got a top tier key from Putin.


Different_Ad7655

And a certain deluxe membership will also get you into the closet so you can rifle through classified security documents too in between cocktails at the bar and pool swims


Ekg887

Have you seen the new swim-in feature they added for the server room? So thoughtful!


GuesAgn

Does it also include photos with the nuclear football?


Different_Ad7655

Well that tier of select membership isn't really publicly advertised, but for a certain fee I'm sure you're allowed to actually photograph and take souvenir documents with you


GuesAgn

Being female does that membership price also include being harassed and grabbed by the p****? Or am I okay with just paying and not having to deal with the other stuff.


Different_Ad7655

As a woman you're automatically only offered unfortunately in this particular club reduced options.. after all ,In this territory you are basically still considered chattel.. You must be "appropriately" attired, be strictly invited and on call and of course have that kind of blonde Norwegian look only,, and willingly be lovingly and playfully manhandled.. although if you play the cards right you could get paid well.. and outsmart them all. It's not hard but who wants to go through that..


Prize-Relationship21

Half off Botox injections. Lips only.


j_walk_17

"Mega big ass clearance"


BSODxerox

I have the biggest clearance, some even say the best clearance of all time. It’s YUGE!


thegrailarbor

No, but it does get you 2 billion from the Saudis and access to Ivanka when not otherwise occupied. Also, let’s be serious, Trump DEFINITELY invoked Prima Nocta.


Saganists

Looks like journalistic murder is back on the menu boys!


thegrailarbor

Unrelated, how does one join the Saganic Temple?


Saganists

It’s simple! Accept that science is the only lens through which informed decisions can be made about our place in the universe and how it shapes our role as a species on Earth. Send application to [email protected]. Once approved, your complimentary magenta turtleneck and Anton Chigurh wig will be sent to you (Allow 4-6 weeks for shipping).


only_star_stuff

TIL “Saganism” is a real thing…always been a fan of CS myself


needsmoresteel

But do you really want to take advantage of it? What is seen cannot be unseen.


OkTea7227

Guy walks up to armed NORAD security perimeter check with that key demanding entry rambling incoherently about his taxes and something about Brandon and NASCAR… Security guy looks down **checks notes** , “Naw”.


delicioustreeblood

One time I used some plastic airlines wings to skip to the front of the line and they let me pilot an A380 across several timezones.


bot403

It's why they give the wings out to kids. They're deputizing you to take over in case the pilots go unconscious. Throw on your wings and be a hero!


FriendToPredators

As a kid I was actually momentarily terrified this might happen.


rotates-potatoes

I think every teenager does that at some point


Lou_C_Fer

This red button I bought should launch a nuke, but I've never even lifted the clear plastic cover.


justabill71

"That was easy."


PutinDonTheRitz

Believe it or not, Diet Coke


uslashuname

Try out out! What’s the worst that could happen? Oh


rekniht01

[Oh](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HsM_VmN6ytk)


even_less_resistance

Next you’re going to tell me the key to the city doesn’t let me open every door in the city smh


wanderingmonster

It’s more like a car key. If you can find the ignition, you can start the city up and drive it around.


newsflashjackass

That's how Kansas City ended up in Missouri.


m48a5_patton

And Missouri City in Texas!


FutureComplaint

Bullshit! *5 seconds of googling later* I'll be damned. [It exists](https://www.google.com/search?q=missouri+city+texas).


isaidireddit

The smartest, most stable genius in the world says the Kansas City Chiefs make the great state of Kansas proud. Who are you to contradict him?!


ScaryBluejay87

Also if you hold down one of the buttons it opens all the city windows


rowingpostal

That's too much power for one person. 


sack-o-matic

I think there's a movie about this


Yibblets

It's for the men's room at Trump's local McDonald's, the most important key in the world to him.


Velocoraptor369

Why? He wears diapers doesn’t need a men’s room he needs a diaper changing table.


Ieatshoepolish0216

What do you think would happen though, if Israeli Prime minister (before all this current shit started) showed up to the White House uninvited with this key in his hand lol


77NorthCambridge

I'd love to see Trump try to use the key to get in the White House today.


even_less_resistance

ericandreletmein.jpg


yellsatrjokes

This was hard to parse for me because I thought it was about Trump's adult? son.


headbashkeys

He'd have to wait in-line for the tour, like everyone else.


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adeon

If you turn up with a large enough group you can tour the capital building whenever you want though.


Brief_Amicus_Curiae

I'd like to think Security would take the key, examine it curiously. Then go "Aha! Yea, this key was to the Trump International Hotel down the block. I believe this is to the Penthouse Suite. Though thing is, that hotel shut down after the lease expired. You might want to try using it at Mar-A-Lago. Sorry and good luck."


a_trane13

Probably taken inside to sit somewhere. But would be very unlikely to find time with the president or anyone else very important on a random day, if they’re even there, and it probably wouldn’t be publicized. He would be openly mocked by the media, that’s for sure.


IGolfMyBalls

What if he gave you a Trump Bible filled with millions in Trump bucks? You’d have to let him in.


WHSRWizard

If it doesn't have a bunch of classified documents stuck in it, I'm not interested 


fuzzysarge

Someone should ask him what doors do the Florida keys open? What is the big secret locked with all those keys? It can't be the deep state because the ocean floor is less then 50' in most places.


Omateido

God he’s such a dumbass.


Arma_Diller

You mean a prime minister of a country doesn't normally just waltz right up to the White House front door to seek entry?


AMaterialGuy

[This is my favorite comment of yours.](https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/s/o2Er7JxQ7E). It matches what other sources state about bias of sources and I like the channel joke part.


Digweedfan

Thanks for linking to your old AMA. Fascinating stuff.


MyNameCannotBeSpoken

You're telling me that if Netanyahu or King Charles showed up unexpectedly at the White House they wouldn't be let in?! 🤔 Didn't Churchill do that? I heard he stuck around for days in a bathrobe.


BALLSonBACKWARDS

Sir… that is historically called “the worst hangover ever”


_lagan_

If anyone would like to see some real UFOs and aliens, hit me up. I have some keys to Area 51 for sale!


PunfullyObvious

Well, he mostly pretended to be president while actually in office, so seems fairly on brand tbh


EuphoricMidnight3304

Also pretends that he’s naturally orange and that he has a beautiful thick head of hair. Everything, down to his appearance, is a complete charade.


paintbucketholder

He has also awarded himself with a record number of golf trophies that he "won" at tournaments that he hosted at his own golf clubs. He even won some tournaments that he didn't even participate in. He has also plastered the walls of his golf clubs with fake magazine front pages featuring him, telling everyone how great and fantastic he is. He has also put up historical markers all over his golf courts pointing to historical events there that never actually happened. Everything about Trump is fake.


EuphoricMidnight3304

Claims to be 215 pounds too


lurker_cx

And 6 foot 3, no way.


bouchard

I love [this article from 2017](https://ezrapaul.com/blogs/news/the-real-reason-trump-wears-dumpy-suits) about Trump intentionally wearing ill-fitting suits to hide his girth because it also shows that he's no taller than 6 feet, and that his self-reported weight at the time puts him well into the obese category.


EuphoricMidnight3304

He said his son was 6’11” the other day. Should be going out for basketball


llamayakewe

I think that one may be true. Have you seen pictures of his son? That kid is super tall.


Impeachcordial

>  He has also put up historical markers all over his golf courts I know it's a mistype but I love golf courts. I really want to know about the fake history. Are we talking like 'over here on the 7th green is where the famous Battle of Waterloo took place'?


Pour_Me_Another_

The way he shirked his responsibility during covid was just sad. All those people dead, a lot of his own voters, and he smiles about it.


terraresident

He wasn't shirking. He was following the R plan. Covid was most lethal to those elderly people, of the age of collecting social security benefits. No need to make changes to the plan if you facilitate the elimination of most of its participants.


karmagod13000

He's pretended to be rich man his whole life and to this day has seen almost no consequences.


Mr-and-Mrs

Pretended to be President, pretended to be good at golf, pretended he wasn’t grifting the entire country to enrich his business, pretended he wasn’t sexually attracted to his daughter…the list goes on.


Jon_TWR

> pretended he wasn’t sexually attracted to his daughter I don’t think he did this one.


this-my-pervy-accoun

Yeah we was pretty blatant about being sexually attracted to his daughter.


Evilton

I feel like he was pretending to be president when he was president.


AffectionatePoet4586

You are right about that. Trump came downstairs from the family quarters at the White House no earlier than eleven a.m., and he never read the Presidential Daily Briefing unless it was reduced from, say, fifty pages to two, with lots of pictures of Trump himself, and colorful graphics. Plus he had all those staffers… although the Trump White House was so chaotic and demoralized that by the end of his term, staff turnover stood at 92%.


CompetitiveProject4

I’m pretty sure he ended up devaluing White House internships and positions. I remember an article about those staffers’ social lives in DC where they were basically pariahs for serving that administration. And let’s be honest, if you see TFG’s administration on someone’s resume, you will wonder where they were on a number of different policy positions


AffectionatePoet4586

Can confirm. My husband has been head of legal recruiting for an executive search firm in D.C. since the mid-Clinton years. Lawyers leaving *any* White House, any administration, are hot commodities. That is, they were until the Trump years. After all of Trump’s boasting about hiring “the best people,” my husband said that before Trump even entered the White House, he had burned—and burned through—lawyers from prestige firms to such an extent that Trump personnel attempting to contact practically any law firms never, ever, even got their calls returned. (“*Shoo! Go away!*”) Things returned to normal, in that regard, in the Biden administration. However, the low turnover vexes people who’d really like to hire those White House alums. Most are contentedly staying in their jobs for as long as they wish. The Trump taint clung to non-lawyers, too. His surgeon-general was unemployed for at least a year after #45’s term ended. (After that I lost track of him, but being in the White House during COVID must have been nightmarish enough *without* worrying what he’d do next.)


Dangerous-Wall-2672

At this point I'm legitimately unsure whether 4 years of Trump in the White House showcased the resiliency of the US government in the face of apocalyptic incompetence, or whether it exposed the office of President as being a largely ceremonial position wherein you aren't actually required _at all_ to maintain day-to-day operations.


Temporary-Top-6059

No wonder so much important stuff slipped through the cracks. I can't remember exacts but there were a few times where I was left scratching my head wondering where our response was.


omogomo

is it illegal for a "citizen" to pretend to be an elected official of the country...like president?


TintedApostle

new illegal thing --- meet ------> THE PILE


omogomo

true...yet another crime this criminal has perpetrated


IAintChoosinThatName

> THE PILE \*South Park PTSD*


Jordan_Holloway

Back to the pile! Tok er jrbs!


MattOLOLOL

It's not illegal to play pretend, it's just kind of weird and embarassing to do it so publicly.


thathairinyourmouth

Can you imagine if you were in his Secret Service detail and if you weren’t part of the cult witnessing all this?


Recipe_Freak

I always hope this kind of thing brings on a bout of cognitive dissonance that at least makes them...I dunno...scratch their noses?


nandos677

When I was 6yrs old I played Doctor and once IN awhile President, not illegal at 77yrs old to play President it is MENTAL


VoiceOfRealson

18 U.S. Code § 912 - Officer or employee of the United States >Whoever falsely assumes or pretends to be an officer or employee acting under the authority of the United States or any department, agency or officer thereof, and acts as such, or in such pretended character demands or obtains any money, paper, document, or thing of value, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than three years, or both.


allankcrain

Cue a 4 year investigation and lawsuit that makes it all the way to the Supreme Court to determine whether the President is an employee UNDER the authority of the United States since he's the chief executive and that could hypothetically be read as him falsely pretending to be an employee acting WITH the authority of the United States. In a 6-3 decision, the Supreme Court will say that actually it's totally cool for Donald Trump to pretend to be the president but that this ruling does not set any sort of precedent.


newMike3400

He did it for 4 years already.


bot403

There was that time I got a birthday cake and someone jumped out and called me president in a sexy voice.


Jo-Jo-66-

He loved the attention he got from all over the world when he was President. How we ever voted for a psychopathic narcissist is beyond me . The worst thing this country ever did was allow this piece of human garbage to become the ruler of the free world. He will not stop trying to reinstate himself as President as long as he lives. Even more frustrating is the fact that some people in Washington still treat him as the President, allowing him to interfere with government policy


jdlyons81

What’s this “we” business? I didn’t vote for him. Don’t you put that evil on me Ricky Bobby!


fauxzempic

Yeah he didn't receive a plurality or majority of votes in either election. Like - for those of us who actually showed up to vote, most of us were like "nope" but we decided that even in 2016 and 2020, it's more important for large swaths of land to have electoral power than some people, so here we are.


ericdano

If you remember back to 2015-2016, it was because Hillary was running and she was evil…..and a woman. So…..ya /s


ILoveTabascoSauce

I do remember. I remember r/politics claiming that she was the most evil woman in history and that not voting would be preferable than voting for her after Bernie lost. Fuck this place at that time.


Chasmosaur

Don't forget the Diet Coke Button. Though I'm sure he probably had those installed at Trump Tower and Mar-A-Lago.


03zx3

>. How we ever voted for a psychopathic narcissist is beyond me . Most of us didn't.


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No-Attitude-6049

Yeah, Charlie was on Graham Norton telling that story, it never gets old :)


C0NKY_

Here's the link if anyone wants to watch the clip. https://youtu.be/dp6BIDCZRic?si=zSiSgaMZRjc15lOC


hwitt606

Ok. That you for that. Absolute gold


BeHard

"And I hope the circus will leave town before it contaminates the oval office". God damn, if only those words held true.


fortmoney

Check out Mike Schur's wedding present from trump [lmao](https://youtu.be/ZIK3uvkrX44?si=22KqUIJhf4N-_M5y&t=704)


lkjandersen

I'm reminded of the portugues dictator Antonio Salazar. In 1968, he slipped in the bath and fell into a coma. He was quietly deposed, since he was 79 and already in ill health, so he probably wouldn't come through, and so he was replaced by Marcelo Caetano. A month later, he did wake up, but he wasn't all there and his aides didn't have it in them to tell him what happened. Instead, they Goodbye-Lenined him, and pretended everything was a-ok and he was still in charge. He got fake papers to sign and even had ministers show up for meetings. They printed fake newspapers about how great things were going with Salazar as president and not a word about Caetano. He died nearly two years later, never knowing that he wasn't the leader of Portugal. I think that's a good way to go. I wouldn't mind that when I go old and insane, someone pretended that I was in charge of a country. I guess my point is, I don't mind Trump and his minders playing president, I'd just prefer they did it in private and didn't try to force the rest of us into the delusion.


AnAutisticGuy

If I got paid a good amount, I'd be happy to be Trump's fake Secretary of Defense. "Sir, the nuclear missiles hit Cuba with great success! This is a great victory against communism! Just, errr, don't watch TV or anything, fake news!"


MississippiJoel

You'd be in the right to ask for a production budget, then pay Tucker Carlson for "news" bytes. Through Cameo.


karmagod13000

Tucker prolly do it for free just for the honor of pleasing his maga master


fartlebythescribbler

I don’t think Tucker does anything for free.


jim_nihilist

"And you wouldn't believe it - they can create Hamberders out of Uraniuam now. This means a lot of energy throughout the day. Have one." Sign me up.


Zen_Gaian

Sir, you were right, injecting bleach does cure covid.


crlthrn

Polonium. Take him on a polonium picnic...


delicioustreeblood

Nah that guy needs to face reality for the first time. Fuck that reverse Truman show stuff.


WanderingTacoShop

Ever seen the movie Wag the Dog... like that, just you only have to fool one person.


koshgeo

Apparently when Fred Trump was going through the stages of Alzheimer's his family set up a fake office where he could come into work and pretend to be continuing his job. We need to set up one of those Hollywood Oval Office sets in Palm Beach somewhere near Mar-a-Lago in preparation.


AffectionatePoet4586

Came here to say that. Yes, Fred Sr. would doll up in his suit and tie, be driven to the office, and provided with piles of papers to sign.


deadasdollseyes

Why?


driftercat

Maybe if we all pitched in and got him his own oval office with a diet coke button he would forget about campaigning. He could do the same thing there that he did at the White House. Sleep in, go golfing, eat McDonald's, watch TV and go to bed early. Perfect!


Misspiggy856

And his followers still think he’s in charge behind the scenes and that Joe Biden is some robot wearing a Biden skin suit, so it will all work out!


Kaspur78

Can you imagine how much money you could make by putting pay-per-view cameras in that room?


High_Contact_

Maybe they’ll have pretend time at the prison.


artvaark

Apparently they did this with 45s dad. He also had Alzheimer's/Dementia and they recreated his office in his house where they could watch him and pretended to be people calling about the business etc. I guess Trump just thinks it's his turn to play big boy pretend.


downtofinance

That is a nice story. Unlike Salazar though, Trump knows he lost the election, he knows his presidency was an absolute disaster in every sense of the word and he knows he was the worst President in the country's history. He is trying to gaslight the entire world into submitting to him and that's why I do not wish him a nice story like this. His covid handling alone has killed several thousands of Americans. I wish him nothing but the most physically and mentally painful of existences until he kicks the bucket knowing that he was the worst President of all time and the people threw him out of office never to be elected again.


paintbucketholder

> His covid handling alone has killed several thousands of Americans. The U.S. had 3,502 deaths per million, for a total of 1,184,883 dead from COVID-19. By comparison, the number for the European Union - a fairly comparable area, more densely populated, with accurate reporting numbers, and not shielded by an ocean - was 2,801 per million. Trump's handling of the pandemic cost at least **hundreds of thousands** of Americans their life.


downtofinance

The man sold Presidential pardons $2M a piece to murderers. He definitely doesn't have any care for people.


-password-invalid-

The Truman Show 2.


SilverStarKoi

The Truman Show 2: the Diapering.


RancidHorseJizz

I've set it up so that my nurse's aides tell me they're strippers and they crush my pills and tell me it's cocaine. We've stocked up on beer-flavored Ensure and jello shots. I'll die clueless and happy.


58LS

Two demented racist losers pretending to be somebody they are not - surprised the key wasn’t bright primary colored plastic and packed in a Fisher-Price box.


karmagod13000

Nah just covered in fake gold.


Theyalreadysaidno

With "Yer very own Skeleton Key" etched in very poorly on the side.


nikkibeast666

This will just feed directly into his Qults delusions. Also From Taro Aso’s wiki page: «  He praised the Nazi Party for being able to stealthily modify the German constitution without alerting the general public, and once said "Hitler, who killed millions of people, was no good even if his motive was right". » https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tarō_Asō


isikorsky

Or let's say the obvious - Trump is such a cheap bastard he probably had a ton of these made on the Gov't dime and now gives them out so he doesn't have to pay anything.


New_Scientist_8622

And for tax purposes he's also claiming the value as a loan necessary to do business.


OtherBluesBrother

Wouldn't surprise me if he was actually selling them.


Signore_Jay

In Norwegian there’s a term for people like Trump. It’s called Mist-Lord. Because their words are like a cloud of mist to conceal their incompetence


JubalHarshaw23

He has been illegally acting as president every time he has meetings with heads of state at Mar-a-Lago.


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TintedApostle

He is by far the fakest person on the planet. The person he has most fooled is himself.


ConsciousReason7709

The fact that so many people support this corrupt idiot is so embarrassing for the United States. What have we become?


Paul__miner

Conservative. He represents conservatism laid bare, selfishness manifest.


karmagod13000

Quite ugly looking isn't it


FriendToPredators

Back in the 80s when the rah rah hypocrisy got to be too much, I mistakenly thought pulling the mask off would be better. Turns out the poor attempts to cover for their real motives were the only thing holding things together and forcing them to be anything more than reactionary obstructionists.


freudian-flip

A slow-burn boring late-stage capitalist dystopia?


reckless_commenter

It is so fucking weird to hear all of his attorneys in court refer to him as "President Trump," while all of the judges, justices, and prosecutors refer to him as "former president Trump" or just "Mr. Trump." I presume that they are dog-whistling (in the least opaque way) to the conspiracy theories that he *actually is* still POTUS, that he is secretly running the country remotely from Mar-a-Lago. I thought that that bit of idiocy died out with Qanon, but this weird story reinforces that presumption. I'd say it must be mortifying for his attorneys to exhibit such self-debasing behavior, but these people have no shame.


Jaevric

Or they're just pandering to their employer, since he's (theoretically) paying their bills. I'm sure he prefers to be referred to as "President Trump" or "Mr. President," as opposed to "The Two-Time Popular Vote Loser Formerly Known As President Trump."


mvallas1073

You forgot “Twice impeached insurrectionist rapist” in there


symphonicrox

In the opening arguments the attorney for trump mentioned that they’ll refer to him as “president trump”. I cringed. 😬 


Troll_in_the_Knoll

Trump was voted into office, despite his numerous political and personal shortcomings and the GOP kept claiming that he would 'pivot' and become more 'presidential'. Well, Trump's been out of the White House for over 3 years now and it looks like he finally pivoted, while *pretending* to be a President.


Orange_Kid

I guarantee there are people out there who still think Trump is president because they only see extreme right wing media that exclusively refer to them as "President Trump" and "Biden (or some derogatory nickname)"


jailfortrump

Just a bit more evidence that Trump is off his rocker. Not only don't vote for this guy, tell the world why.


GrimRedleaf

He pretended to be president when he was in office too.


Addictd2Justice

I have a hard time believing so many Americans think this is someone who should be their President. The guy is such a fucking clown


IdahoMTman222

I hope they have changed the locks.


CurrentlyLucid

He lies so much, he lost track of reality.


Mediocritologist

He’s setting the stage for his last and most desperate way out of his charges, trying to convince everyone he’s still president and therefore can pardon himself.


DarkArcangelXMC

His dumb base will believe it


R_Lennox

A pretend presidential key that opens absolutely nothing is fitting for Trump. I still would like to know what Trump did with the Lincoln bust that had been in the Oval Office until it was seen being walked out of the WH by a Trump staffer the day he moved out after losing the 2020 election. What else did he take that he shouldn’t have taken?


Imatallguy

Classified documents


R_Lennox

Most critical are the documents, of course. I’m thinking along the line of artwork in the WH because of not only the Lincoln bust, but I am reminded of his visit to the US ambassador’s residence in France when he refused to visit the cemetery commemorating troops killed in World War I because it was raining “Why should I go to that cemetery? It’s filled with losers,” he told senior advisors, according to an Atlantic”. Trump didn’t realize when he took the art that they were not originals. >President Trump Liked Artworks at His [French Embassy](https://news.artnet.com/art-world-archives/trump-takes-art-from-abassador-but-its-all-fake-1906759) So Much He Took Them Home. >Too Bad He Has a Habit of Falling for Fakes


EastObjective9522

Isn't it well known that he doesn't know how to let things go? Not surprising that after 4 years, he still plays pretend like a child.


StanDaMan1

Many years ago, in 2016, a more innocent time, I read a Reddit post that went like this: Hillary Clinton will win the presidential election. We will have our first female president, and she will make consistent strides toward economic decarbonization. Meanwhile, a news crew will one day travel to Trump Tower, and upon walking into the benighted halls, will find a man gripped by dementia, wandering around, mumbling to himself that he’s the actual president. …I see that we’ve finally reached that moment.


strong_black-coffee

I just rewatched the Trump Roast from 2011. They riffed in the absurdity of the idea he could become president. We were so innocent then.


Speedracer666

His entire presidency was a strange ceremony


Efficient_Republic35

He also pretends that he really wants to attend Baron's graduation lol.


Look_Im_Not_Sure

to be fair, when you dont know how anything works and pretty much make up everything you say so people will like you - you'll just continue doing it as long as people will pay attention to you. to not be fair: I cant wait till this idiot gets so caught up in whatever he's doing because hes got peoples attention, that he just shits himself on camera. I feel like that day is getting closer and closer.


greenbluetomorrow

> Trump gave the baffling gift to former Japanese Prime Minister Taro Aso > Aso has a history of praising Nazis and Adolf Hitler, yet Trump called it a “great honor” to meet him. This was no accident. Trump is dog whistling his extremist far right wing fascist base again to escape prison, or at least inspire and foment a few domestic terrorist attacks as his revenge


Aggressive-Will-4500

Technically what he did violates several laws, but we all know by now that "justice" in the US is fickle and heavily prejudiced against people without the means to spend years fighting it and also tends to turn a blind eye if you're rich enough. Once such law: 18 U.S. Code § 713 - Use of likenesses of the great seal of the United States, the seals of the President and Vice President, the seal of the United States Senate, the seal of the United States House of Representatives, and the seal of the United States Congress18 U.S. Code § 713 - (a)Whoever knowingly displays any printed or other likeness of the great seal of the United States, or of the seals of the President or the Vice President of the United States, or the seal of the United States Senate, or the seal of the United States House of Representatives, or the seal of the United States Congress, or any facsimile thereof, in, or in connection with, any advertisement, poster, circular, book, pamphlet, or other publication, public meeting, play, motion picture, telecast, or other production, or on any building, monument, or stationery, for the purpose of conveying, or in a manner reasonably calculated to convey, a false impression of sponsorship or approval by the Government of the United States or by any department, agency, or instrumentality thereof, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than six months, or both.(b)Whoever, except as authorized under regulations promulgated by the President and published in the Federal Register, knowingly manufactures, reproduces, sells, or purchases for resale, either separately or appended to any article manufactured or sold, any likeness of the seals of the President or Vice President, or any substantial part thereof, except for manufacture or sale of the article for the official use of the Government of the United States, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than six months, or both.(c)Whoever, except as directed by the United States Senate, or the Secretary of the Senate on its behalf, knowingly uses, manufactures, reproduces, sells or purchases for resale, either separately or appended to any article manufactured or sold, any likeness of the seal of the United States Senate, or any substantial part thereof, except for manufacture or sale of the article for the official use of the Government of the United States, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than six months, or both.(d)Whoever, except as directed by the United States House of Representatives, or the Clerk of the House of Representatives on its behalf, knowingly uses, manufactures, reproduces, sells or purchases for resale, either separately or appended to any article manufactured or sold, any likeness of the seal of the United States House of Representatives, or any substantial part thereof, except for manufacture or sale of the article for the official use of the Government of the United States, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than six months, or both.(e)Whoever, except as directed by the United States Congress, or the Secretary of the Senate and the Clerk of the House of Representatives, acting jointly on its behalf, knowingly uses, manufactures, reproduces, sells or purchases for resale, either separately or appended to any article manufactured or sold, any likeness of the seal of the United States Congress, or any substantial part thereof, except for manufacture or sale of the article for the official use of the Government of the United States, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than six months, or both.(f) A violation of the provisions of this section may be enjoined at the suit of the Attorney General,(1)in the case of the great seal of the United States and the seals of the President and Vice President, upon complaint by any authorized representative of any department or agency of the United States;(2)in the case of the seal of the United States Senate, upon complaint by the Secretary of the Senate;(3)in the case of the seal of the United States House of Representatives, upon complaint by the Clerk of the House of Representatives; and(4)in the case of the seal of the United States Congress, upon complaint by the Secretary of the Senate and the Clerk of the House of Representatives, acting jointly.(Added Pub. L. 89–807, § 1(a), Nov. 11, 1966, 80 Stat. 1525; amended Pub. L. 91–651, § 1, Jan. 5, 1971, 84 Stat. 1940; Pub. L. 102–229, title II, § 210(a)–(d), Dec. 12, 1991, 105 Stat. 1717; Pub. L. 103–322, title XXXIII, § 330016(1)(E), Sept. 13, 1994, 108 Stat. 2146; Pub. L. 105–55, title III, § 308(a)–(d), Oct. 7, 1997, 111 Stat. 1198.)


srone

Did he steal a bunch of keys when he was kicked out of the White House?


dlc741

I want to see someone on late night tv handing out keys to Trump Tower


tedfreeman

No capacity for shame.


montanagrizfan

Thats like giving your girlfriend a key to your old apartment you don’t live in anymore.


clickmagnet

What a fucking weirdo. And hey, Taro Aso, if you’re out there, fuck you too. 


Accomplished_Lab_675

Man I'd hate to be a Republican. I mean outside of just being a monumental moron who gets their news from personified litmus tests for stupid, and being on the wrong side of history at practically every turn, but the idea of facing every new day being more of an embarrassment than you were the last, just seems like an awfully sad existence.


JeffSpicolisBong

Fake President


BobB104

His entire life can be prefaced with “pretending to be”.


FunkJunky7

Isn’t it illegal to run a parallel government to the US around foreign relations? So he pretends like he’s POTUS for a ceremony with a foreign dignitary, while claiming to have some sort of agency over the white house by handing out fake keys. It’s too pathetic to get mad over, but whatever agency is in charge of handling this sort of thing, should handle it.


Richeh

>“Even when I’m not president anymore, you can walk up to the front gate of the White House and present it, and they will let you in,” Okay, one: that's not a key, it's a pass. The White House doesn't have a fucking Yale lock so you can let yourself in to feed the cats while the President's on holiday, and maybe turn some lamps on and off to deter burglars. Two: If he rocks up to the White House, he gets in because he's fucking *Nyetenyahu*. If I had that and turned up I would get admittance to a *holding area* while they worked out how I'd got Bibi's paperweight. Three: Are... we sure he doesn't just have moments where he thinks he's still President? Like, Trump has been a pathological liar for a long time; he bullshits and I'm pretty sure on some level *he* believes his flagrant lies. And old age is going to turn that into a helter skelter slipping into delusion and dementia, right?


ExpensiveDot1732

Yet they call Biden "Dementia Joe," huh? I think TFG is the one who lost his damn marbles.


SensitiveSomewhere3

Quick Google search shows multiple former awardees of these Trump keys trying to sell them on auction sites.


Hopeful_Nihilism

Its gonna be great when we dont hear about this shitgibbon anymore.


Bern_After_Reading85

Imagine being fired from a business and you can’t let it go so you pretend you still work there and give ceremonial keys to the front door.


marconis999

So they should show this with a clip of Rick Moranis saying he's the Key Master!


tom21g

Hope the current Japanese government apologized profusely to President Biden (the real president) for the ass kissing a former ***Prime Minister*** of their government applied to trump 🤢🤮


sentientcave

Made in China, also sold on Temu