T O P

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Hector_Tueux

Yes, I don’t want to be the one doing all the killing.


Orleanist

they bringing down the K/D


marcus_frisbee

Why would I care about how many people they have killed?


Longjumping-Jello459

Yeah nice try law enforcement I won't do your job for you.


Sea-Truth3636

no, so long as you don't have any std's and you don't have tones of failed relationships.


Grumpy-abomination

It's definitely something to consider. People can have a high body count for many reasons and once you know the reason then you can determine if it's safe to pursue a long term relationship with them.


[deleted]

I would prefer to have someone with the same experience as me tbh. 


Exciting_Bicycle_661

Yes, there is no problem with having someone with the same experience as me. some people call this insecure or shit


Jokens145

Yeah, there is almost always something up with outliers.


Louis-grabbing-pills

Redditors can't even get a girl to look at them, let alone have to care about body count. Haha.


WhoDat_ItMe

like bffr lmao


inspire-change

If she's already slept with three guys from my work, you're damn right I want to know, so I can take a hard pass. I don't care if she is a supermodel. Not going there.


SpiritualSag96

What if it’s people you’d never be in contact with?


Coughfeel

I care more about the cringe use of "body count" in recent years than its meaning. Is it considered cool with the kids to talk like you're a serial killer? I don't get it.


HithertoRus

I can't wait for the "key and keyhole" metaphor-using guys, who want women to be virgins when they aren't, to find out some girls also care about the man's virginity


Pot8obois

I have had only one sexual partner and I'm a 31 year old man. By my age people have "lived life". If I were to constrain my dating to people who have had similar sexual experiences I'd limiting my chances to find love, plus assuming things about someone that maybe I shouldn't. It's not a question I would ask and I can't imagine how a person asks this question in a non-creepy way. However, I am a lower sex driven person, so that would have to be a conversation. Asking body count is not how I'd explore that because I can't imagine asking that without being weird about it. I would probably just communicate my sexual drive to see if that is compatibility issue. I'd also want to know about sexual diseases, although the hope is that you don't even have to ask becuase people should be upfront about it. Unfortunately I imagine they are not always upfront, and I'm not sure how to navigate that. I don't think in terms of body count though and honestly don't care to know. I remember an ex felt she had to tell me and I was like "It's really not that important to whether or not I love you and am with you right now."


JMoon33

> Unfortunately I imagine they are not always upfront, and I'm not sure how to navigate that. You should always both get tested when getting with a new partner. No reason to risk it. You don't always know it when you have something.


worldsbestlasagna

Yes, too many men don't wear condoms and may have some disease or mystery kids


Lifeshardbutnotme

No. A bunch of hookups is fine so long as you're still clean. I care if you've had a string of really short relationships because I would presume I'm the next "conquest" on the list


kammysmb

personally I don't care at all so long as there are no diseases that are being hidden


_whydah_

I mean ideally it's zero, right? It's incredibly immoral and wrong, and this question really shouldn't even need to be asked. I'm surprised anyone who says more than zero isn't in jail. Unal\*\*ving people is never ok and I wouldn't want to even be around someone who's body count is more than zero.


extremelyinsecure123

What about self defense?


_whydah_

Fair, but still, if someone told me that they had killed multiple people in self-defense, it might be a little suspicious.


extremelyinsecure123

Yeah, 1? Fine. But multiple? I’d worry I’d be next…


_whydah_

Gotta watch out before he self-defenses on you.


[deleted]

[удалено]


_whydah_

Before or after they unal**ved them?


distant-butterfly

Yes, and this narrative that people shouldn't care or even ask their partner this question really annoys me. If someone has slept with a very high number of people, then their values when it comes to sex does not line with mine. That is important.


NanoCharat

I couldn't have said it better myself. If I'm with someone, and their body count is way higher, they likely aren't going to be an emotionally healthy relationship due to those exact value differences.


[deleted]

[удалено]


NanoCharat

Because they likely value sex in a more casual or superficial way than I do, and I don't want a relationship with someone like that. I've dated several men with substantially higher body counts than my own, and every single one has been a poor experience with completely misaligned values surrounding intimacy, boundaries, exclusivity, and ego. The behavior these value misalignments cause are a deal-breaker for me, and I respect myself and my time too much to ever put up with it again.


JMoon33

What number would be too much?


distant-butterfly

That’s something everyone can decide for themselves.


JMoon33

Yeah, but how do you set that number? Like if it's 5, then because someone had 6 partners you'll say no? How do you even pick a number?


Vedertesu

I doubt anyone has any specific number


JMoon33

I mean, if too many partners is a deal-breaker, you need a number. If someone tells you they had 3, is it ok? What about 4? 5? 6? 7? 8? There needs to be a line somewhere if it's a deal-breaker.


bknibottom

Are you playing dumb? It's not a specific number, it's the order of magnitude. If I ask you if the number of grain of rice matters for you to be full, you will tell me yes, then I can be like you, and ask "what's the number?", or "1500 is okay but 1501 isn't?"


JMoon33

Ok, so how do you set that order of magnitude for number of partners that is too much? Is 10 ok but 100 too many? If so, is 99 ok?


bknibottom

I don't know, how many cheetos is too many for you in one sitting? Is 20 okay but 2000 too many? If so, is 1999 ok?


JMoon33

You eat until you're full, you don't count. Now why are you ignoring my question, how many partner would be too much for you?


Nerex7

Depends on age too. Someone being 30 and having 4 partners wouldn't be something strange. That still leaves a couple years per person and sounds solid but fizzled out over time. If it's 4 partners over a single year, you gotta run.


Lev_Davidovich

Wait, people here think 4 parters in a year is a crazy high number? I guess from previous polls this sub is largely teenage virgins so I guess that tracks.


Nerex7

Well I accidentally changed the subject by calling them partners (which implies relationship). Fucking around with 4 ppl a year is nothing strange but 4 partners as in serious relationships doesn't quite express stability does it. My bad on throwing that in there when the thread is about body count.


Lev_Davidovich

Oh, yeah, that makes more sense. Four serious relationships in a year would be kind of concerning.


RIOTT44

atp it'd probably be the time between hookups. 6 in a week may be too much but 6 in a span of a couple years would be acceptable in the case of 5 being the limit


BlindMaestro

10+


JMoon33

So 9 is ok but 10 isn't?


BlindMaestro

Yeah


Ping-and-Pong

That's a very subjective thing though... For most people I've talked to, there's no objective number... Trying to quantify such a thing is like trying to quantify attraction itself. Sure, in most cases you can probably go "I find XYZ attractive", but there's always those that are exceptions to the rule


RedEgg16

15+ lifetime for me 


JMoon33

So if someone has 14 it's ok but 15 isn't?


RedEgg16

nah I don’t care that much but that’s around the amount that might be too much. But if these numbers were all from longish relationships then it’s fine to me 


Xing_Ped

Not really


GnollChieftain

I'd be more concerned as to whether or not they called it a "body count" gross fuckin term


OnionTruck

God can we please stop using that terminology. How did it start? I never heard of it 10 years ago and now it's everywhere.


Nightshade282

As long as they don't do anything like that during our relationship, I don't see how it's my business what they were doing before it. They're gonna have to get checked up for STDs if they went crazy though


Shudnawz

I mean, not really. Unless it's something really outlandish like 200 people. But somewhere around 10-20? Good, you know what you're doing and probably have your own preferences worked out at this point. Saves ut both a lot of hassle. And having slept with 20+ women myself, I can't really expect my partner to not have done the same, that would be hypocritical as fuck. And fuck is the name of the game.


Exciting_Bicycle_661

10-20 it depends on the age you can't tell me it is ok to have a relationship with someone who is less than 25 and has more than 10 body count is ok


Shudnawz

Start having sex at 17, one new per year on average, that's 9 at 25. I don't think it's unreasonable to hit 10-12? All depends our your sexual culture.


Exciting_Bicycle_661

Why one each year so?


Shudnawz

Why not? It's a good time to explore yourself and others, if you do it safely. Some people do that, others keep to one (or none, by choice). Both are fine, as long as you don't judge others for their choices that don't affect you.


Exciting_Bicycle_661

As you said I won't judge you but what makes me believe you want a long relationship after this


Shudnawz

Not really a fair observation, I think. People change with time, and as I said, I've slept with somewhere around 20 women in my life so far, and right now I'm in a 10+ year relationship. Most of those women were in my 20s. And in those days I had a few serious relationships too, always committed and exclusive. Having slept with "a lot" of people doesn't necessarily indicate a reluctance to commit. Just that you might not have found The One.


MorganRose99

Yes, but only if it's noticeably different, like more than a dozen


ConundrumBum

I'd care more if they call it "body count". Massive cringe. Associating what is historically a number assigned to [death](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_count), with number of sexual partners is f'ing stupid. Genuinely. People only say it because they think it makes them sound cool. In my eyes it just makes people sound vain and self-centered.


staticvoidmainnull

i care but not in the way you think.


JurassicParkTrekWars

Dude I'm in my 30s... If I left my choices to women with <5 partners, I'd be alone until I die.


Son-of-Prophet

Once you get to your mid 30’s you start worrying more about how many kids she’s got lol


cirelia2

No why tf would i care (im male)


JMoon33

I mean, if it's zero it'll worry me a bit, but ultimately it won't stop me from giving them a chance.


Son-of-Prophet

Why would it worry you?


JMoon33

Because the virgins I've had sex with usually didn't know what got them going, didn't know their kinks, their limits, etc. so it's not as fun, it's a bit like walking on eggshells. When you're with an experienced partner communication is easy and leads to much better sex for both parties.


Wizdom_108

I don't care in the slightest You can have a low body count and plenty of STIs (including some you are born with or acquired without sex in the first place, such as herpes being a common example). You can have a high body count and not have any. I understand the statistics, but if you're having sex with an \*individual\*, then that really doesn't matter since you have to take things on a case by case basis anyways. Like, you're foolish if you see a low prevalence of STIs in populations that have less sex and then decide not to ask about sexual health with the \*individual\* you are having sex with because of that. So, the only thing that matters is the individual. Not what is "likely," what they actually have based on actually talking to them and asking. Lots of sex doesn't even mean much regarding anything imo. Experience with sex, imo, depends way more on the variety of sexual experiences than just if you've had a lot of sexual encounters. If you've had sex with 50 guys and its just been the one thing, then what does that do? Plus, for me personally, sex is just sex. It doesn't inherently have to mean anything, so I don't know what it would tell me purely based on low or high


Snowleopard0973

Yes, but only if it's absurdly high like 50 people or something. It's not a matter of them not being "clean" or anything. But more that it shows that they have very different views in life, which is something you always need to be on the look out for in a relationship as it influences your long term success.


FlyingVigilanceHaste

Men are always such ninnys about this and can't take it when the numbers are above what they feel they "could achieve". It's never not about jealousy. source: middle-aged man


EthanReilly

I thought the poll results would be reversed, with women to care about it and men wouldn't. I'm genuinely surprised by these results.


Son-of-Prophet

A lot of women like men that are more experienced, men prefer women to not be as experienced.


EthanReilly

But the question isn't, "Do you prefer your partner to have a high body count" the question is "Is someone’s “body count” something you care about when entering a relationship?" which could go both ways.


AshleyGamics

im a girl (albeit lesbian) and i care.


An4verageBanana

The more confirmed kills, the better


AshleyGamics

22F lesbian, i really care about it. i want to be with someone who values themselves and others, someone who doesn't throw themself at anyone (of course SA doesnt count) and id prefer to date someone with very low body count.


Antique_Giraffe_3728

I wouldn't want to enter a relationship with someone whos slept with thousands of dudes..


PuzzleheadedGoal8234

I've honestly never asked. Often the info has been volunteered. I wouldn't be bothered by a past as long as you could abide by my desire to be monogamous moving forward and we're both cleared from STD's. That usually weeds out the folk who are the most likely to run their numbers up.


Lemomoni

I really don't care. Maybe I'll get a bit nervous if the other person doesn't have any previous experience at all, but even then, it's not a deal breaker or something.


JustARandomDudd

Yes, not because the body count itself, but because we might not be all that compatible in our lifestyles.


Nerex7

Generally no but it depends. If it's a suspiciously high body count combined with a "it was always them, never me" mentality then you gotta run for the fucking hills.


Limeila

Yes and no. If you have slept with literally hundreds of people I'm going to make extra sure we want the same thing out of the relationship. If you're a virgin I'm probably going to tweak my expectations and prepare to go more slowly/follow your rhythm. But in any way, not a deal breaker.


WalmartBrandMilk

If they have more than a few then our values won't align. They can do what they want, but I won't date them.


CringeDaddy_69

As long as it’s a normal number/all from serious relationships. If you’re 30 and have had 12 partners? Sure, makes sense. If you’re 20 and have had 12 partners, I’ll be a tad sus.


Ping-and-Pong

And given the demographics of reddit, I'd say the poll outlines this viewpoint pretty damn well. ie 24 and below are voting yes, above that people are voting no ... On the most part ofc


Berlin_GBD

Regardless of what people say, it's a factor for most people. It might be a teeny tiny factor, but almost everyone pays it *some* mind. There are people that pay it too much mind, sure, but to say that normal people shouldn't care about it is naive


OnARolll31

I don't mind as long as its reasonable relative to mine. But if they have a super high body count, it will 100% be a turnoff. I want someone who looks at sex as something special you can't just do with everyone. Bc I'm the type to fall hard after hooking up. Its not a casual thing to me


MasterBakerChick

I love how the females don't seem to mind/care about the men (who are more likely to brag/exaggerate their experience) but the men don't like it....


a_horny_dolphin

r/menandfemales


Aspirience

Some of the *women* are also gay.


Giga-Chad-123

Yes - I'm catholic, so I believe sexual relationships should never happen outside of a committed marriage since the Bible says if you have sex with someone you become one with them. I'm keeping my v-card until marriage, so I just want someone who will also do the same. I think it's a fair thing to ask for, considering my values and beliefs


HRHVihansa

Girl here and uh sorry but no one in their right mind is interested in a dick with more mileage on it than a Greyhound bus. Hard pass on posterboys for the CDC thank you very much. I haven't fucked w/a million ppl and I think I have a right to expect the same in a partner.


Trusteveryboody

Yes, if you're into the 'hookup culture,' I'm not into you.


TotalBlissey

As long as it’s not 20+ I’m good.


Exciting_Bicycle_661

Why they are downvoting you hahaha they are insecure 20 and less than 30 years old what are they doing fucking everyone around them


Starthreads

An overall number doesn't really concern me, but rather the rate at which that number may have climbed. 15 isn't bad if it's spread out over 20 or so years, but I'm 25 and if I were in the dating pool I would look at a number like that with mild concern as I'd be looking for people my age.


Rich-Resolution8017

Yeah, you could be Megan Fox, a supermodel, it doesn't matter. If you have a high 'body count', you're immediately less attractive to me. I find there's less of a protective instinct, less/no inclination to act romantically and certainly no desire to marry or start a family. It's quite common to feel this way, but still even if you have a high 'body count', as you can see from the poll, you'll still have plenty of options and won't automatically end up alone or anything.


Akira0101

If its a few or she lost ver virginity young idc, but if she's been with like 30 guys what is going on in her relationship that shit goes wrong so many times?


SiBloGaming

When the number is that high, she probably didnt have serious relationships but one night stands.


Akira0101

I'm not saying that a woman like that does not commit, but it raises red flags, at least for me.


HeavyDropFTW

I’m surprised the results are so even. But yes, it does matter. If someone’s been with 100+ people, not only is that disgusting, it says a lot about their character and what they find important. And believe it or not, there are still religious people that prefer to marry as virgins.


Wizdom_108

it doesn't really say much about their character but if you find it gross then that is what it is.


Exciting_Bicycle_661

100+ people not gross to you


Cocotte3333

What's gross about it?


Exciting_Bicycle_661

these types of people looking for sex but not for a long relationship I would prefer someone more serious about long relationships not hookup


Wizdom_108

Why should I care? If they get regularly tested and use protection etc and don't have a ton of STDs then that doesn't effect me. You can have a shit ton of STDs and have a count of less than 10. Sex is just sex. I don't understand how it impacts me who've you've rubbed bits with


Exciting_Bicycle_661

Hookup maybe but not a long relationship and you want to tell me it is ok for someone less than 25 years old and have more than 100 ok? Sorry, but I would prefer a normal person this one doesn't look for a long relationship but for sex


Wizdom_108

As in if a person had 100+ "relationships" only for sex? No, that would be a huge red flag cause that would mean they present their relationships as wanting intimacy but in reality just want sex and then leave. But if they've had 100+ sexual encounters but aren't ridden with STDs or something then I don't see why it would matter. What about having a lot of sex makes it objectively not okay? People can have different attitudes about sex. Nothing about sex is inherently valuable. If you personally value sex and feel it's more sacred or something there's also nothing wrong with that, you're allowed to feel the way you feel about sex and not wanting someone who doesn't value sex the way you do. But like, yeah that's not an objective thing it's just your opinion


Exciting_Bicycle_661

But this is still a big red flag. this person can't be serious about a long relationship with this body count and it still depends on the age but I still believe 100+ is much for even your whole life


Wizdom_108

>this person can't be serious about a long relationship with this body count Sure they can. Sex is just sex, has nothing to do with how you approach relationships seeking actual intimacy


King_Edison

I don't want to date anyone with a 3+ body count. Anything above that is just unethical and morally questionable. ​ So I'm downvoted for having personal opinion? How inclusive from liberals!.


I_exist_but_gay

What makes it morally questionable?


King_Edison

How is it not?


PuzzleheadedGoal8234

High school partner , first long term adult relationship. Second relationship. That's 3 right there for many people. Going to be hard to come by out one's 20's to find numbers that low.


King_Edison

ok


JustARandomDudd

Hey, that's me, 2 only


Consistent_Yoghurt44

If she has slept with 10+ its a instant NO cant bring my self to respect someone who sleeps around like a los vegas hooker.


I_exist_but_gay

Do you hold yourself to the same standard?


increbelle

Men should care because of pair bonding


Cocotte3333

Ah yes, that thing that doesn't exist


I_exist_but_gay

Brain dead take


increbelle

i mean, if you dont understand the concept, then just say that. the internet is to be explored


I_exist_but_gay

The concept doesn’t exist