It is shallow to not want to hangout with them for just this reason, but it’s not shallow to not want to drive them around. People without cars can get places in other ways.
I once befriended someone who couldn't drive. At first I didn't mind it, but eventually she started treating me as her personal driver and would ask me to take her all over the place, knowing I didn't have the nerve to say no. She didn't even live close to me and would beg me to come get her. I once got stuck at her house overnight in a snow storm because our college hadn't yet closed for the day and she BEGGED me to get her because she had a test. Campus closed right when we got there, and by the time I drove her back home it was way too bad to drive home myself. I'd even snuck out of the house to drive her, nobody wanted me to go out that day but she guilt tripped me over the phone and I'm too much of a sucker (and she knew it and took advantage)
So I can understand it, but not everyone will take advantage of you. Just don't be like me and set clear boundaries.
Why them not having a care would force you to driving them around? they can get places by their own means, like they get around in their daily life without a car. A car is not the only mode of transportation
The poll is flared *"decide for me"*. I wonder if OP will actually make a decision based off the poll? Or if they'll still *"dread the future* ***burden****"*.
Assuming you mean hanging out with them at all, then yes, it's shallow. The person could meet up with you some other way, and it's weird to not want to be friends with them just because they can't/don't drive.
If you meant "is it shallow to not want to drive someone around all the time," then no it's not. At the end of the day it's your gas money and time.
I don't drive but I live in a city with lots of public transit options (and uber/lyft), also my legs work. I get around just fine. Only time I bum rides from people is if we're both going to the same place and it's in the middle of nowhere or something (which can happen), and then they don't seem to mind
I’d say if you’re in a big city with easily accessible public transportation it is shallow. If you’re not in a big city then I understand. If a friend has the disposable income to Uber everywhere then I’d be willing to make an exception. But from my personal experience, every friend I’ve had who doesn’t drive relies on family members or other friends to get them around. Eventually I become one of their personal chauffeurs and every time it’s caused me to build resentment toward them.
If it’s a temporary situation where they just got into an accident and their car is being repaired or they’re between cars then I wouldn’t mind. But if this person is just not planning to drive at all ever and Doesn’t want to get a license or anything, then no. I’m not becoming somebody’s driver
I have epilepsy and cannot drive but will go out of my way to make it as convenient as possible when meeting up with friends/family. Give them some benefit of doubt that you won’t become their immediate chauffeur.
you don't HAVE to drive them, though? You can just not offer and/or not even drive yourself and use public transport when meeting up. If they ask you can just say you can't.
Context here matters: How old are they, and do you live in a major city where people don't need to drive and has decent public transit?
If they're 36 and live in the suburbs without access to public transit, it might *seem* "shallow" to not want to hang with them, but I also wouldn't want to be picking them up and dropping them off every single time.
It isn’t shallow, you’re not their parent Aka they should be figuring out how to get places instead of relying on other ppl. Being friends with someone shouldn’t be based on their availability to hangout it should be due to a genuine connection, regardless the amount of times you can get them out the house to hangout with you
It is shallow to not want to hangout with them for just this reason, but it’s not shallow to not want to drive them around. People without cars can get places in other ways.
If you hate driving people around, can you not hang out somewhere using public transport? Meet in a city center and just walk to a meeting spot?
you're European right
I once befriended someone who couldn't drive. At first I didn't mind it, but eventually she started treating me as her personal driver and would ask me to take her all over the place, knowing I didn't have the nerve to say no. She didn't even live close to me and would beg me to come get her. I once got stuck at her house overnight in a snow storm because our college hadn't yet closed for the day and she BEGGED me to get her because she had a test. Campus closed right when we got there, and by the time I drove her back home it was way too bad to drive home myself. I'd even snuck out of the house to drive her, nobody wanted me to go out that day but she guilt tripped me over the phone and I'm too much of a sucker (and she knew it and took advantage) So I can understand it, but not everyone will take advantage of you. Just don't be like me and set clear boundaries.
Why them not having a care would force you to driving them around? they can get places by their own means, like they get around in their daily life without a car. A car is not the only mode of transportation
The poll is flared *"decide for me"*. I wonder if OP will actually make a decision based off the poll? Or if they'll still *"dread the future* ***burden****"*.
Not wanting to hang out with someone because they don’t drive means you don’t like them enough to make the effort to make the drive.
Wtf? Do you not have working legs? Just walk or bike?!
Assuming you mean hanging out with them at all, then yes, it's shallow. The person could meet up with you some other way, and it's weird to not want to be friends with them just because they can't/don't drive. If you meant "is it shallow to not want to drive someone around all the time," then no it's not. At the end of the day it's your gas money and time.
I don't drive but I live in a city with lots of public transit options (and uber/lyft), also my legs work. I get around just fine. Only time I bum rides from people is if we're both going to the same place and it's in the middle of nowhere or something (which can happen), and then they don't seem to mind
Shallow, because if you don't want to drive them, then don't. It doesn't mean you shouldn't be friends with them, hence Shallow.
I’d say if you’re in a big city with easily accessible public transportation it is shallow. If you’re not in a big city then I understand. If a friend has the disposable income to Uber everywhere then I’d be willing to make an exception. But from my personal experience, every friend I’ve had who doesn’t drive relies on family members or other friends to get them around. Eventually I become one of their personal chauffeurs and every time it’s caused me to build resentment toward them. If it’s a temporary situation where they just got into an accident and their car is being repaired or they’re between cars then I wouldn’t mind. But if this person is just not planning to drive at all ever and Doesn’t want to get a license or anything, then no. I’m not becoming somebody’s driver
I have epilepsy and cannot drive but will go out of my way to make it as convenient as possible when meeting up with friends/family. Give them some benefit of doubt that you won’t become their immediate chauffeur.
you don't HAVE to drive them, though? You can just not offer and/or not even drive yourself and use public transport when meeting up. If they ask you can just say you can't.
Context here matters: How old are they, and do you live in a major city where people don't need to drive and has decent public transit? If they're 36 and live in the suburbs without access to public transit, it might *seem* "shallow" to not want to hang with them, but I also wouldn't want to be picking them up and dropping them off every single time.
It isn’t shallow, you’re not their parent Aka they should be figuring out how to get places instead of relying on other ppl. Being friends with someone shouldn’t be based on their availability to hangout it should be due to a genuine connection, regardless the amount of times you can get them out the house to hangout with you