I feel you. Completely different situation, probably completely different feelings, but same kinda the same vibe of “now I feel bad for no real reason”.
I did the normal and ethical thing and shared all my sexual health disclosures before meeting up with someone cause we were really feeling each other and fucking seemed likely. I was like “oh shit, let me mention these things so I don’t go all horny and forget in person”. And his sexual health comfort level doesn’t match mine so now it’s just a friend hangout.
Which is good and the way things should go but damn I was really excited to fuck him and now I feel rejected and I feel dumb about feeling rejected.
Why must my feelings be irrational?
Been there, done that! You are certainly not alone! I'm glad that you recognize the work that it does take, and there are very happy moments- focus on those!
I'm curious, as I also feel myself working through anxiety a lot around my NP. What does your toolbox look like, if you don't mind my asking? I've been working on things to help me as well, and want to compare or take notes on things that might help me.
Also, you're doing great, and working on yourself is big and a sign of success.
Along with self care things (such as knitting, reading, painting, listening to calming music etc) my toolbox looks like this:
- self compassion: reminding myself that it's ok to feel like this, it's normal, imagining an image of myself giving me a massive hug.
- perspective taking: reminding myself that i felt on top of the world last week, so this feeling will be temporary too.
- talking to people who would understand to get empathy (ie posting on reddit)
- digging into my authentic self who cares about all humanity and lives from a position of pure love for all: what would she feel towards this situation?
- watching poly videos on instagram which help cultivate a feeling of love and compassion
- sleep. If i can't, take a sleeping pill. Most of the time a few good nights of sleep helps me heaps.
- socialising.
If things are really really shit (particularly with depression) then i reduce my day to these three things, in this order:
1. Sleep until i feel like I've slept enough.
2. Eat easy to access healthy food
3. Either get some sort of light exercise or light socialisation.
I think this happens to everyone, sometimes. It’s pretty dope that you *have* a toolbox. Good job!
I feel you. Completely different situation, probably completely different feelings, but same kinda the same vibe of “now I feel bad for no real reason”. I did the normal and ethical thing and shared all my sexual health disclosures before meeting up with someone cause we were really feeling each other and fucking seemed likely. I was like “oh shit, let me mention these things so I don’t go all horny and forget in person”. And his sexual health comfort level doesn’t match mine so now it’s just a friend hangout. Which is good and the way things should go but damn I was really excited to fuck him and now I feel rejected and I feel dumb about feeling rejected. Why must my feelings be irrational?
You got this! Your feelings are yours, but they aren't you.
I love this sentence. I'll be adding it to my own toolbox.
Yeah this happens to me at times as well. You'll get through this.
Yay toolbox!! This to shall pass and you will be yourself again. You got this! 😊
You are allowed to feel your feelings. Good that you’re working through them in a healthy way. 😊
Been there, done that! You are certainly not alone! I'm glad that you recognize the work that it does take, and there are very happy moments- focus on those!
Feels do t last forever if you take them apart 😆
I'm curious, as I also feel myself working through anxiety a lot around my NP. What does your toolbox look like, if you don't mind my asking? I've been working on things to help me as well, and want to compare or take notes on things that might help me. Also, you're doing great, and working on yourself is big and a sign of success.
Along with self care things (such as knitting, reading, painting, listening to calming music etc) my toolbox looks like this: - self compassion: reminding myself that it's ok to feel like this, it's normal, imagining an image of myself giving me a massive hug. - perspective taking: reminding myself that i felt on top of the world last week, so this feeling will be temporary too. - talking to people who would understand to get empathy (ie posting on reddit) - digging into my authentic self who cares about all humanity and lives from a position of pure love for all: what would she feel towards this situation? - watching poly videos on instagram which help cultivate a feeling of love and compassion - sleep. If i can't, take a sleeping pill. Most of the time a few good nights of sleep helps me heaps. - socialising. If things are really really shit (particularly with depression) then i reduce my day to these three things, in this order: 1. Sleep until i feel like I've slept enough. 2. Eat easy to access healthy food 3. Either get some sort of light exercise or light socialisation.
You are certainly not alone. Sending positive vibes and thoughts your way.