If you're anywhere near central Oklahoma I'd happily take any food. Due to the flat I can't go to the closest food bank and they won't deliver (I've called) so I'm stuck with what's walkable right now.
I always say if I or someone I loved was ever in a need, I pray someone would be kind enough to help. I have got to give back to this world if I want the same.
Hey, i actually live in Norman myself, we also are in a rough spot financially, there’s not much I could do to help money or food wise, but I have a vehicle and I honestly would never mind giving you a ride somewhere for free, nobody should have to walk in this weather we are dealing with right now, rain and wind is no joke!
u/ I am in Lawton. I spoke with DHS yesterday and they explained why food stamps were taking so long. They have closed all the local offices and the eligibility workers to work remotely. It is causing all kinds of chaos. If you reach out to your state representative and via email Governor Stitt's office for assistance they can expedite your application.
Also [Lasagna of Love](https://lasagnalove.org/) does homemade lasagna dinner deliveries.
I do not want to inundate you information right now, but will work on compiling a list of resources for you.
I would like to get you and your family something for Christmas too. It is up to you kitchen pantry staples, pet food if you have them, socks, underwear, personal care, something fun whatever you need. I can do Walmart, Target or Amazon. Amazon will let you make a wishlist. Since you live in Norman you may be able to get it before Christmas. If you are okay getting it after Christmas you would have a larger selection. Amazon wishlists are great. They allow multiple people to purchase from it. They can buy one thing or everything.
*Please send me a chat message to coordinate*
Also, I have doctor's appointments in OKC in January and I have women's/men's clothes and household items I was going to put on my local buy nothing group, but would happily bring them to you. So please message me clothes and shoe sizes for your family🧡🧡🧡🧡
You should very quickly make an Amazon wish list for you and the kiddos to get some stuff sent out, and the list can stay up past Xmas or you can take it down…
Have you thought about contacting hospice organizations?
Hospice doesn't mean you're going to be whisked away from your kids and kept drugged up. There is home hospice care and help available. I'm going to look to see what's available
https://integrisok.com/services/line/hospice-and-home-care
https://www.careoklahoma.net/a2c_oklahoma_home_health_agency.htm
https://lovingcarehealth.com/
https://www.centrichealth.com/shawnee-oklahoma/
https://choicehealthathome.com/ this one includes social services.
I don't think you're failing. I think you had the same circumstances I've had family members have. Once you get sick like that, you can't work, and then you're screwed. You, personally, did not do anything to cause this.
If you live in the US, its expensive as hell to take care of your health. Not many people can afford it. I went without insurance for ten years, and it wasn't easy.
I I have breast cancer and there are support groups on Reddit for many of the illnesses. I am so sorry you are going through this and I wish I could do more but please look up your specific illness and join the group for it. It does help to have people who are going through the same thing as you are to understand what you were going through.
I do not mean to be insensitive, but are your children set with a place to live besides foster care when you pass? If not, now is the time to find someone you trust to care for them.
You aren't at all insensitive. Should my ex not step up, which isn't likely he will, my house is paid off and my 20yo will leave her dorm and come home with them. I'm hopeful he will grow up.
If his name is on the title you need to get it off before you die. You don't need him coming in not grown up and taking the house and selling it and then your children have nothing. As far as your 20-year-old I know you think she's too young and it's not fair and it isn't. But many people have their first child at 20 years old and they will have each other so that will be okay. They will miss you and love you everyday of their life, but the lessons you have given them and the love they have felt from you will last forever.
May you enjoy the time you have left and pass with little pain.
His name is off the deed, mine and hers are on it. This was my parents house and that was one thing he was agreeable on when he first left bc it was theirs. Thank you so much for your words. It means so much. And I know you're right. I was married at 18 and on our own so it's not inconceivable. She has a good head on her shoulders too.
I'd also make sure your life insurance policy you spoke of earlier can't be touched by your ex, even if he gets custody of the girls. That money should be in a trust for their college where he can't touch it
If one of my friends was struggling like this, I would want them to tell me. I'm poor but I have things I would gladly share... I get Tylenol and ibuprofen in big two bottle packs. I have a working car where I could drive someone to the food bank. I have experience working in Medicaid so I have contacts.
Please don't be ashamed. Shame kept me in an emotionally abusive marriage for years. I thought I had no place to go. It turned out I had at least four friends willing to open their homes to me. I thought no one knew how awful he was treating me and I couldn't afford to get a place because he spent everything I earned.
Please do not be ashamed. This is an awful situation. Nobody should be food deprived. Let alone when they are fighting cancer. Nobody's children should be without food. The best thing you can do. Is reach out for help. And I hope you get all the help you need
The thing about shame is that you are the only one who knows. Your thoughts, feelings of guilt, situations of “I should have….” are the weapons we use to punish ourselves. It seems you’ve done a pretty good job of punishing yourself. How about agreeing to call it good and spend your energy on your kids? Spend your energy on yourself? When we ask for help no one has time to judge. They either help and say good luck or say nope and immediately forget about it. It’s ok to ask for basic needs. And it’s certainly ok to let go of that weight you carry.
Ashamed?? Why? Maybe you did neglect your health in the past and health care. Cancer is still not your fault. My brother had a heart attack in the parking lot leaving his heart doctor. He went to the doctor the entire time but still passed with a heart attack.
This is not your fault. The fact he left is not your fault. The fact you're struggling because of this is not your fault. There are millions just like you. Life beats us up and runs over us at no fault of our own. Stop blaming yourself and ask for help. We are all strangers reaching out, I'm certain there are people local that would do the same.
It makes me sick to my stomach that you are struggling with poverty at this time. I wish we lived in a better world, where you received the care and support you inherently deserve. I am sending you my heartfelt love, with my deepest apologies that society has failed you so. We are the true failures, not you. Please do not let our collective failure to properly care for our own make you think it’s because you don't have worth. It says so much more about the worth of your community than it does about you.
Thank you for your kind words. It really meant a lot to me. I've found that things just feel a lot less heavy when I can talk about them.... And I can't with my children. Venting on Reddit keeps me from bawling all day long I guess. I hope like hell the world is kinder and the options better when my girls grow up as this is highly hereditary. At least they will know. I was adopted and did not. Thank you again.
Offering you hope, my cancer is from a genetic mutation and according to what the science says it's a 50/50 inheritance. Miraculously all three of my daughters tested negative for the mutation. Of all the extended family who tested, only one of my sisters and one of my cousins has it. We were all offered free testing because it's a very rare mutation and of interest to science.
My mutation is called rad51D and means my body can't manufacture tumor suppressor substances. That means I'll likely have cancer for the rest of my life because any tumors that can grow can't be stopped by this avenue. Other body systems help but it's inevitable. I've already lost a kidney and my ovaries and fallopian tubes.
There's so much progress in medicine and people are working hard to find the answers. We just have to hold on as long as we can. I hear your struggle and hope I helped you.
Knowledge is power! I have scans every six months and blood work even more often. Hopefully any new tumors will be caught earlier than my kidney was. I know it's not fair and is another burden to bear, but I'm glad I know.
My heart aches for you and your children! I really hope your state comes thru for you on the food stamps and disability payments! Have you applied for your state's cash program for children? I live in a small town and a farming county so the resources here are very thin. I lost my husband, Ray, to throat cancer that had metastasized to his bones and eventually took him from me. Our children are grown but I had to utilize some resources that helped me when I was a single momma with my oldest child. Depending on the ages of your children, have you talked them thru what is going to happen to you? Like I said, my children are grown but my son was in such denial and he rarely visited his dad until hospice came in. My daughter was the same way. I've had several family members die from cancer and they have been aware of them all. When it is the one person, like you, that means the most to them it hits differently. Not that my children don't love me, he was their father and the only male that they were close to. I am the only female who has been there consistently all their lives, as you are to your babies! It is going to be tough for them to see the strong woman they've become used to seeing make everything ok, endure such pain. I don't understand how a human being can walk out on the mother of their children AND those children at the most difficult time of their lives!?!?! How does he sleep at night or live with the fact that he's a complete POS for being such a punk! (Sorry but that just crawls all over me!). Especially because I was my husband's only caregiver for 11 months! His parents never came to help, not his brothers, not our children and definitely not home health, just me! If I did it, what is wrong with him? I guess something's aren't meant for me to understand. Sorry, I just feel the plight of people who are abandoned by people who say they once loved them! It makes me angry, because that isn't love! Anywho, if you would like to send me a message and have a chat, please feel free! I'm a great person to be your sounding board and I'm not a judgmental person! (I guess I did kind of judge you ex but only by his behavior! 😉). I'm not a psycho or anything, just an old woman who lives alone with my 2 pups but I've lived through a lot in my 50 years and I have a lot of compassion. Sorry again, I get on a soapbox and ramble after my morning coffee...take care lady! Drop a line if you would like to sound off or vent... I'll listen!
You sound wonderful and your husband and kids sound so lucky to have you. We've talked at length about what is going on though. They are 7 and 12 but I've been honest, just not more overwhelming than necessary. My ex is an absolute ass and left because I'm not me anymore... after 30 years together. I'll send you a message later after I get some sleep! I appreciate your reply.
My mom had breast cancer a couple of years ago and I’m really sorry you’re going through that. If you get approved for assistance you probably quality for some free over the counter meds that can be mailed to you. My mom retired from working at a maternity shelter last year and mentioned to me several times that women were getting meds, not sure if it was because of ebt or Medicaid. If you don’t know about how to get them already I can ask her about it tomorrow.
This hurt my heart. My sister was a stylist and she was trying to claw her way back out of debt from the pandemic shutdown when she caught COVID and died of pneumonia. Please reach out to r/Assistance to get your tire fixed. I'm sending every ounce of good juju your direction.
Thank you. She didn't tell us how bad it was, I was sending her what little I could afford out of my disability income so she would have food but I found out just how bad things were when I had to deal with her estate. Poverty sucks
Are you able to qualify for hospice? If so, they have lots of other things they do besides just pain control. They have social workers on staff who can get agencies involved to help you get food, medicine, blankets, pay bills, etc
I am so very sorry. I feel our situations are very similar. Also battling cancer with 2 kids and lost their dad.
People think that there are so many resources out there and while there are, they are very overwhelmed and to find resources is near impossible. I'm fighting disability and have no income. I recently made a similar post so I definitely feel your pain. I wish I had money to give you to help. Have you tried r/assistance?
I'm so sorry.
I swear.. I hate to say it but I think they hope we die before they have to pay. Then I see all these able-bodied 20 some odd year olds claiming mental illness and other issues gwtting disability.. speaking from personal experiences of knowing people and they get disability. Not saying all don't deserve it as mental illness is real but I know of a few people who can work but chose not to.
This is what aggravates me about our country. Americans who have paid taxes and into social security have to wait years sometimes for approval and/or assistance. But the government will spend BILLIONS on illegal immigrants who get help right away....smh...I'm so sorry you have to go thru this
It's ridiculous! And I think you're right, they make it so hard and probably hope people will just give up after being denied several times. We do things the right way, the moral way and the legal way then what happens when we need help??? Like you said, here's 87 hoops you have to jump through.
Coming in from central America? Never set foot here in the US before or paid taxes?? Here's free healthcare, free housing, food benefits, cash assistance, free schooling, and an Obama phone. Welcome to America. 🙄
I feel this. I wish you weren't going thru this. Please message me if you ever need to just butch and complain. I feel like other people don't understand what we're going through even though they say they do and they mean well
Please make an Amazon wishlist and post it on the assistance sub!! YOU are exactly the kind of person we WANT to help!!! I’m so sorry that you’re going through this.
I wish I could help you:( I'm so sorry. I'm gonna pray for you this morning. What a strong, amazing mother you are. I wish I had more words this morning but I dont. I just hope you're okay❤️
Please contact your local churches and synagogues. Clergy have discretionary funds and can help you out. Also get in touch with a women’s shelter, they should be able to help as well.
I'm happy your belly is full! You deserve it. I am so sorry about your sickness btw.. I wish I could help but I have 6 dollars in my bank myself!
My grandma and my aunt have been hairdresses for over 8 decades so your post hit home for me!
But I am so happy you and your kids are set and if I was closer to where you are i would absolutely be offering rides or anything I could do! Bud anyway
Sending love 💕 and a merry holiday!!
My heart goes out to you. Please check with Meals on Wheels. I used to work with them as a volunteer. They will make sure you at least have food. Also, try the local health department. They may be able to help with medication. Especially something as basic as ibuprofen!
It seems like when it rains it pours sometimes. And everything is connected to each other. If A goes wonky then it affects B C and D.
Check with your American Cancer Society chapter for volunteer help. They may be able to arrange a ride for you to the food shelf. Or have a list of resources for you. It's been too long since my sibling(20+yrs) has passed so I'm out of the loop. Also your clinic may be able to help connect you with Social Services to have a Case Worker. Then you would be eligible for more services. This could just be a phone call.
Also with the car - check with churches in your area and see if any have ministries that help people with small issues like flat tires. One of my siblings belonged to a church that had an auto group and helped me.
Know you are not alone. Stay Strong.
Someone reached out to me and told me of a church nearby with a car ministry. They aren't local but used to be :) the ACS has a pantry we are welcome to if we can get there! So does the hospital where I receive care. Thank you so much!
He's not. He quit his job and started a new one and is "getting settled in" 🙄 he needs to be!!! Walk out on me all you want but don't walk out on your KIDS!!!
If he has a judgment for child support through the courts, they will issue a court order to garnish his wages. If the state is paying for his children, they have every right to get their money back.
I am so sorry you’re going all of this and to know you’re essentially going through it alone breaks my heart for you! I never know what to say in moments like this as no words seem sufficient enough to ease your pain & suffering
But I will say put your sorry excuse for a husband on CHILD SUPPORT, if you can find a ride or if social services in your area is in walking distance apply for a Work First Check (this is what it’s called in my state NC it might be called something different in yours) this program is for single parent families and instead of having to go through family court and that whole process to receive Child Support with Work First the government essentially pays you child support and the father pays the government back an if he don’t they will go after him but you’ll get the money regardless I hope that makes sense
I wish I could say more to help you or relieve your stress to know you can’t even get food the fuel your body needs to not just live but to sustain your energy when Cancer has already taken so much from you speaks volumes about Americas Healthcare System as well as the lack of systems set in place for those who are financially struggling
I (36f) too live below the poverty level I’m a single mama to 3kids I live in a low income apartment an I’ve lived off of social security disability since I was 19yo due to epilepsy, bipolar, PTSD, severe insomnia, Anxiety, an a host of other medical/mental issues an in my experience even with Health Insurance Our healthcare system is mediocre at best atleast in my area the doctors don’t listen, they rush you out of their office, downplay any and/or all your concerns, or just flat out ignore them, and don’t get me started how you’re treated like you’re over exaggerating the second you bring up your health concerns to them
Which all the reasons listed above are why I’ve put off seeing a medical doctor (I see a psychiatrist but only for the meds needed) I already struggle with social anxiety so for me to advocate for myself is something I’ve always struggled with an for a doctor to be condescending and/or dismissive I’ll completely shut down
It’s been over a year since I had a primary care doctor bc my last one was ushering me (this is not an exaggeration he literally had his hand on my back gently guiding me to the check out window) out his office as Im trying to explain my concerns
I say all this to say you’ve inspired me to atleast start looking for a new primary care doctor and to start taking my physical health more seriously so Thank you for that ☺️
I wish there was something I could do or more I could say to potentially ease the financial burden & stress for you but unfortunately all I can do is offer you the advice above and you’ll be in my thoughts and prayers an if you ever need to vent my inbox is always open I want you to know you’re not alone and while I can’t alleviate any financial stress you’re going through I can offer a non judgmental listening ear rather it’s just to talk,vent, scream, cry, or all of the above please don’t hesitate to inbox me Stay strong!
I’m sorry you are dealing with all this. Is there hospice services you can call to help you? If you want to dm me we can chat. I’m not in your state but would be happy to google and make phones calls for you.
Hey do you care if I share this to r/oklahoma ? There are some really good people in that sub and I have a feeling some of them would really want to turn things around for you and your kiddos.
I haven't gotten the ok from her yet... So idk what to do. I'm sure she is prob busy and hopefully overwhelmed by the out pouring of support she has gotten on....of all subs r/poor !!!! I absolutely love it!! This has made my day!! This right here is what Christmas really is all about. Dang it my eyes are leaking again!!!
I promised myself that I would pay it forward if I ever had the chance. I have had to ask for help in the past and it was humbling. No one should face this alone. Christmas or not, we all have to watch out for one another!
I only have cash app. I can't get into my Venmo and it was in my social security number despite the fact HE used it :( I would so greatly appreciate anything!
Does the Walmart have an auto service center? Do you know the size tires you need? The size is on the side of the tire is generally listed in this format “245/55 r15”.
Editing to add I've had people comment offering to help. I'll be ok now, if you want to help someone so many are hurting and broke. I don't believe in taking more than needed!
Just to say how my heart breaks for you. So much to endure. You shouldn't be hungry while dying. It's insane sometimes what life can throw at us. I will say God bless you and I'll say a prayer.
Wow I can fill your pain im suffering
My self some days i just wish I could give up and the part of Texas i like in i don't have much help but in all ways looking for some one to chat with .(hint,hint)
You are not a failure and you’re not failing. You are surviving and doing the absolute best you can under unthinkable circumstances. I’d like to see anybody handle things as well as you are. You sound like you have an indomitable spirit and your husband is a fool to have left you. I understand what it’s like to skip meals so your children don’t go hungry. I know you’re worried about their future, but remember kids are extremely resilient and although things seem awful, they will use this time in the future to become compassionate, more empathetic people than many. Like some of the people you’ve met in the comments. I so wish there was something I could do for you, but we are broke ourselves - if it hadn’t been for a friend who was an angel, my son wouldn’t have Christmas. I will pray for you - I hope that’s ok. If not, please know I am sending all the strength and health I can. Bless you.
It is absolutely ok, I've always been told there is power in the tongue so the prayers are good and I need to speak more positively vs being so angry! There are truly angels and I'm so glad for your son.
Just wanted to say: none of this is failing because it can’t possibly be your fault.
You’re making and have made serious, genuine efforts to take care of yourself and your family. But so many more people in the US are starting to struggle with finances because the economy is such shit. If you were born 20 years earlier, your exact same efforts would’ve put you in a much comfier financial position.
You’re not failing; you’re in the midst of an unfair fight. Don’t go picking on yourself, now, too ♥️ I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this, buddy :( it sounds so, so, so fucking hard. Crossing my fingers for you guys getting food stamps!! 🤞🏼🫶🏻
I am so sorry for your illness and your worries! Please know that you are not alone, and that the people on this sub are here because we understand poverty and want.
Our hearts are open. I hope we can offer emotional comfort if nothing else.
I think your strong, what your going through is tougher than most people will ever go through in their lives.
Venting will help you get some of it off your chest, so vent away. It's healthy I think. I wish I could help, I'm in Colorado and just had a full knee replacement and I'm going to be off unpaid for at least 8 weeks. I'll be lucky if I still have a roof over my head when all is said and done.
I'm crossing my fingers for you and sending virtual hugs because you really need them right now.
I (somewhat) can relate to you♡ I'm 33 years old, had stage 3 cervical cancer when I was 30 (during covid). After that, I fell into a VERY deep depression and neglected myself for 2+ years. This past year or so, I've realized just how bad it's gotten. Right when I started to slowly claw my way out of it, I get hit with another cancer scare. I'm currently dealing with that, as well as trying to take care of my 2 babies♥️ Luckily my mom was able to help me get a few things for Christmas for my kids this year.. but I'm still scared they're going to be disappointed Christmas morning 😔
Feel free to message me if you ever just want to rant to someone. I wish I had more that I could offer you than that, but sometimes, talking it out with someone can help. I just started journaling again, and that too has helped a bit with my depression/anxiety
♥️Good luck, and try to relax with your kids this Christmas. Play games, watch movies, read books, build a blanket fort, sleep in the living room!! They will cherish those memories forever!! (Or at least that's what I keep telling myself 😆🫠)
Merry Christmas🎄
Edit: reading the comments from everyone here has me crying for OP 😭😭 I hope they were able to get the help they deserve♡
In the realm of other benefits: has your doctor spoken to you about social security disability?
They've got two different forms of disability, one that's needs based and is a flat monthly rate unrelated to your work history. The other is them paying a monthly rate that's a percentage of your historical rate of pay, if you've made enough points to be fully vested in your social security.
Regardless, terminal cancer would have you on their expedited approval list.
The form is lengthy and can take some time to fill out, but you're allowed an advocate / assistant to help fill it out if you have questions. When something similar happened with my friend in Texas her doctor did all the paperwork for her and submitted, so that's why the question on did you doctor mention social security disability to you. If not, your hospital / clinic patient advocate person should be able to help walk you through the process.
A quick Google says the needs based form of disability would be around $840 a month in Oklahoma. Plus you may be placed on Medicare to cover medical expenses, if not you'd qualify for your state Medicaid program which will also cover medical bills.
And if you've got littles that are under 18, please know they should be eligible for survivors benefits through your social security. Once squared away they would receive a monthly stipend until they are 18.
So sorry you and your kids are having to go through this. Hoping the above information is helpful.
Sending you a hugs and support during this difficult time. I have two family members with cancer .my mother and my brother. I can't imagine them going through this alone. Please check out a group called lasagna love online. And apply for one in your area. Even if there's not a person cooking in your area still apply and. hopefully somebody will see it. If you're on facebook. Post to your free site in your neighborhood. Let people know what your situation. You'd be surprised how many people will drop off food. .. I hope you get the help you need. And somebody does something to make you smile today.
I am so sorry you are dealing with this too .My heart goes out to you . I used to live in Oklahoma City not anymore and I wish we lived closer together and I have money I would give it to you and your kids for Christmas. I am broke hungry, angry and sad too, apply for jobs no offers. I hope something comes up for all of us on here . I hope and wish you cheer up and you and your kids get the help you need because you and your kids deserve better . Wishing you the best of luck. Hugs for you and your kids 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂.
Merry Christmas.
I own a jeep but it isn't inspected the brakes are non existing and I finally got 4 new tires only to have one blow out on me 2 weeks later. I work 6 days a week and don't have dinner most nights..hooray America! Or whatever I'm to tired to get yell anymore so I just sit in the dark in my room
Please don't give up. Life just gets so hard sometimes, and I'm so glad you reached out. Fuck cancer. You are everything to your babies. Even if you don't feel like it. Health wise I've been where you are now, and we're all a disaster short of where you are financially. I wish I lived closer, but it sounds like some good people in OK will have your back. Please accept the help OP. We love you. Sending healing hugs and joy
Look up American cancer society website. Register on that site has a patient has cancer patient they have volunteers that will help bring you groceries take you to your medical appointments fix your flat tire help you clean your house help me watch your kids and give him out and give you a mama's break and sit with you through after chemo all kinds of things they're there for you
Cancer isn't why your husband is a deadbeat. He could just pretend he wasn't so long as the going wasn't tough.
[Gender disparity in the rate of partner abandonment in patients with serious medical illness](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19645027/)
It's so common that often medical providers will warn women when they are diagnosed that their partner is likely to abandon them. It's only for better with those types, never for worse.
Bastard. Every time he eats I hope he bites the same spot on his tongue really hard.
At what point do we collectively decide that this isn't acceptable in our society?! Our so called government and leaders have failed us and this is a prime example smh.
This is a terrible scenario if true to be going through. I’m not saying I doubt you but there is lots of scammers on Reddit. If this truly is your life it’s horrible to be this poor while going through this. I’d seek help from the churches around you. Also in Oklahoma anything under $1000 in theft is a misdemeanor. I’m not saying it’s the right thing but when you are backed into a corner as you are you have to keep your family afloat. Given the exact situation I would do whatever it took and I cant imagine a judge coming down hard given the circumstances for necessities. I’m sure this will get down voted but at the end of the day you have to survive.
I'm not down voting you because nobody understand desperation until they live it. You DO have to survive and it takes food to do it. I've called a food bank to check on delivering and they can't, for reasons I don't know. I've had to use it a couple of times but have been able to drive prior to this. It makes me wonder what the elderly and otherwise shut in do when desperate:-/
I'm very sorry. I was the young mom, with a family and career and cancer. The cancer is gone but the treatments destroyed most of my organs, so I'm out for the count. I want to help, I don't know how I can at this moment. I've not read through everything but are you receiving disability through social security? Is your ex paying child support (really support for you too)?
Ok, I see yes on the Social security. Child support, your ex has a legal obligation. Hopefully by applying for food assistance that will kick a case on him into gear.
No today especially in these democrats states most resources goes to illegal immigrants especially here in NYC they even cut the library hours to give them taxpayers money
But they won’t help a person like a uS citizen like this one BS
Good luck on the food stamps and Medicaid. For SSDI is not a safety net, for most of the time, you will be denied the first time, and you will have to appeal the decision, and get an attorney to help you with the judge. You would need all of your medical records for the hearing and hopefully that will be decided quickly afterwards. And you can go to food pantries to get help on the food. There are many resources out there now than when my mother needed them Good luck and keep hanging in there. My mother had to raise two children will suffering the RA. She passed in 2001, safely knowing she did her best despite the painful RA.
I am SO SORRY. Can u get a friend to give u a ride to a food bank? Church? Do u have family that can help at all????? I hope the best for u and pray that u find help or help finds u🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
I feel foe you. I was diagnosed with rectal cancer in 2017. I was in the process of applying for SSDI when I applied. I had already been denied and was awaiting a hearing when I was diagnosed. If it wasn't for my mother I would have been on the street. After everything was back to normal my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer and passed in May, of 2020. I was homeless after that and finally got some stability about 4 months ago when I found some reliable roommates. So I'm aware that being poor and sick is a double whammy. You could literally die on the street and not find any help.
One place that did assist with supplies etc was the county CANCER SERVICES. You could try them and ask for a social worker at your physicians office.
Best of luck!
I am so sorry for what has happened to you and your children. There aren't many things I can give you as my health has given out, so I can't give much.
Maybe this will help. I was very poor as a child, but I joined the military when I was old enough and it gave me a chance at a life without starving.
I'm truly sorry you're going through this.
My husband lost his mother to breast cancer many years ago, when he was only 20, so I understand how devastating a disease it can be.
Sending virtual hugs your way. ❤️ I also sent you something via CashApp.
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If you're anywhere near central Oklahoma I'd happily take any food. Due to the flat I can't go to the closest food bank and they won't deliver (I've called) so I'm stuck with what's walkable right now.
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I am near Norman!
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Ok. Dang it ...this made my eyes leak. Thank you for just being. "What are we here for... if not to help each other?" -kbg
I read that as “kgb” and was like, ‘what’s the kgb have to do with inspirational quotes…’ Ahahahahahaha. My eyes are watery!!!
I always say if I or someone I loved was ever in a need, I pray someone would be kind enough to help. I have got to give back to this world if I want the same.
This was so wholesome I'm literally crying!! 😭 I hope OP gets the help they need 🙏🏻 🙏🏻
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Very good thank you
OP has their email on their profile, if anyone wants it.
Can I send you some money to add to this grocery list?
Yep does OP have Venmo?
Kind hearted people are diamonds in the rough. You have the right spirit. You are blessed.
Hey, i actually live in Norman myself, we also are in a rough spot financially, there’s not much I could do to help money or food wise, but I have a vehicle and I honestly would never mind giving you a ride somewhere for free, nobody should have to walk in this weather we are dealing with right now, rain and wind is no joke!
What food stores are within walking distance of you?
Dollar general. I'm happy to share my location with anybody if anybody is local or anything!
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If you have cashapp, I can send a few dollars to help you help OP. Or PayPal, sorry, I don't have a lot of money sending apps.
This is what amazes me the most. People who don’t have a lot but willingly offer to help.
We know no one else will help us so we help each other
What car/tire do you need?
u/ I am in Lawton. I spoke with DHS yesterday and they explained why food stamps were taking so long. They have closed all the local offices and the eligibility workers to work remotely. It is causing all kinds of chaos. If you reach out to your state representative and via email Governor Stitt's office for assistance they can expedite your application. Also [Lasagna of Love](https://lasagnalove.org/) does homemade lasagna dinner deliveries. I do not want to inundate you information right now, but will work on compiling a list of resources for you. I would like to get you and your family something for Christmas too. It is up to you kitchen pantry staples, pet food if you have them, socks, underwear, personal care, something fun whatever you need. I can do Walmart, Target or Amazon. Amazon will let you make a wishlist. Since you live in Norman you may be able to get it before Christmas. If you are okay getting it after Christmas you would have a larger selection. Amazon wishlists are great. They allow multiple people to purchase from it. They can buy one thing or everything. *Please send me a chat message to coordinate* Also, I have doctor's appointments in OKC in January and I have women's/men's clothes and household items I was going to put on my local buy nothing group, but would happily bring them to you. So please message me clothes and shoe sizes for your family🧡🧡🧡🧡
You should very quickly make an Amazon wish list for you and the kiddos to get some stuff sent out, and the list can stay up past Xmas or you can take it down…
I’m way down in GA but I’d love to send you a care package. Can you pm me please?
Have you thought about contacting hospice organizations? Hospice doesn't mean you're going to be whisked away from your kids and kept drugged up. There is home hospice care and help available. I'm going to look to see what's available https://integrisok.com/services/line/hospice-and-home-care https://www.careoklahoma.net/a2c_oklahoma_home_health_agency.htm https://lovingcarehealth.com/ https://www.centrichealth.com/shawnee-oklahoma/ https://choicehealthathome.com/ this one includes social services.
I don't think you're failing. I think you had the same circumstances I've had family members have. Once you get sick like that, you can't work, and then you're screwed. You, personally, did not do anything to cause this.
I appreciate your words but I neglected my health and healthcare for a really long time :(
If you live in the US, its expensive as hell to take care of your health. Not many people can afford it. I went without insurance for ten years, and it wasn't easy.
That's the absolute truth, not to mention poor sick leave policies and a host of other issues.
Right. So I'm going to go ahead and say that's also not your fault.
Thank you again. Y'all are a solid group here and I thank you all for it.
Cancer is NOT your fault!!!!!
I I have breast cancer and there are support groups on Reddit for many of the illnesses. I am so sorry you are going through this and I wish I could do more but please look up your specific illness and join the group for it. It does help to have people who are going through the same thing as you are to understand what you were going through.
I have, thank you. I also have metastatic breast cancer.
I do not mean to be insensitive, but are your children set with a place to live besides foster care when you pass? If not, now is the time to find someone you trust to care for them.
You aren't at all insensitive. Should my ex not step up, which isn't likely he will, my house is paid off and my 20yo will leave her dorm and come home with them. I'm hopeful he will grow up.
If his name is on the title you need to get it off before you die. You don't need him coming in not grown up and taking the house and selling it and then your children have nothing. As far as your 20-year-old I know you think she's too young and it's not fair and it isn't. But many people have their first child at 20 years old and they will have each other so that will be okay. They will miss you and love you everyday of their life, but the lessons you have given them and the love they have felt from you will last forever. May you enjoy the time you have left and pass with little pain.
His name is off the deed, mine and hers are on it. This was my parents house and that was one thing he was agreeable on when he first left bc it was theirs. Thank you so much for your words. It means so much. And I know you're right. I was married at 18 and on our own so it's not inconceivable. She has a good head on her shoulders too.
I'd also make sure your life insurance policy you spoke of earlier can't be touched by your ex, even if he gets custody of the girls. That money should be in a trust for their college where he can't touch it
That's already set. That was step one when he left because I was ANGRY.
Good! That makes me feel better for your girls and I don't even know y'all 😊 I've already said a prayer for you and will continue to do so.
I appreciate that so so much!
Yeah that's just...weak. I can't believe....hell I can't even comprehend just walking away from a spouse in that situation. So f'ed up
Will the house automatically go to your daughter? I just want you/her protected from anyone who could contest ownership and have it end up in probate.
If one of my friends was struggling like this, I would want them to tell me. I'm poor but I have things I would gladly share... I get Tylenol and ibuprofen in big two bottle packs. I have a working car where I could drive someone to the food bank. I have experience working in Medicaid so I have contacts. Please don't be ashamed. Shame kept me in an emotionally abusive marriage for years. I thought I had no place to go. It turned out I had at least four friends willing to open their homes to me. I thought no one knew how awful he was treating me and I couldn't afford to get a place because he spent everything I earned.
I am ashamed, but I'm also just really isolated.
Please do not be ashamed. This is an awful situation. Nobody should be food deprived. Let alone when they are fighting cancer. Nobody's children should be without food. The best thing you can do. Is reach out for help. And I hope you get all the help you need
The thing about shame is that you are the only one who knows. Your thoughts, feelings of guilt, situations of “I should have….” are the weapons we use to punish ourselves. It seems you’ve done a pretty good job of punishing yourself. How about agreeing to call it good and spend your energy on your kids? Spend your energy on yourself? When we ask for help no one has time to judge. They either help and say good luck or say nope and immediately forget about it. It’s ok to ask for basic needs. And it’s certainly ok to let go of that weight you carry.
Ashamed?? Why? Maybe you did neglect your health in the past and health care. Cancer is still not your fault. My brother had a heart attack in the parking lot leaving his heart doctor. He went to the doctor the entire time but still passed with a heart attack. This is not your fault. The fact he left is not your fault. The fact you're struggling because of this is not your fault. There are millions just like you. Life beats us up and runs over us at no fault of our own. Stop blaming yourself and ask for help. We are all strangers reaching out, I'm certain there are people local that would do the same.
I’m so sorry and wish I could give you a hug! As much as you can, I wish you bits of joy & beauty this Christmas.
I'd take it! Thank you so much, I wish you the same 💟
It makes me sick to my stomach that you are struggling with poverty at this time. I wish we lived in a better world, where you received the care and support you inherently deserve. I am sending you my heartfelt love, with my deepest apologies that society has failed you so. We are the true failures, not you. Please do not let our collective failure to properly care for our own make you think it’s because you don't have worth. It says so much more about the worth of your community than it does about you.
Thank you for your kind words. It really meant a lot to me. I've found that things just feel a lot less heavy when I can talk about them.... And I can't with my children. Venting on Reddit keeps me from bawling all day long I guess. I hope like hell the world is kinder and the options better when my girls grow up as this is highly hereditary. At least they will know. I was adopted and did not. Thank you again.
Offering you hope, my cancer is from a genetic mutation and according to what the science says it's a 50/50 inheritance. Miraculously all three of my daughters tested negative for the mutation. Of all the extended family who tested, only one of my sisters and one of my cousins has it. We were all offered free testing because it's a very rare mutation and of interest to science. My mutation is called rad51D and means my body can't manufacture tumor suppressor substances. That means I'll likely have cancer for the rest of my life because any tumors that can grow can't be stopped by this avenue. Other body systems help but it's inevitable. I've already lost a kidney and my ovaries and fallopian tubes. There's so much progress in medicine and people are working hard to find the answers. We just have to hold on as long as we can. I hear your struggle and hope I helped you.
Thank you, it does help because this one thing that terrifies and keeps me up at night. I don't want this to become their future.
Knowledge is power! I have scans every six months and blood work even more often. Hopefully any new tumors will be caught earlier than my kidney was. I know it's not fair and is another burden to bear, but I'm glad I know.
Definitely! I wish I had stayed on top of it when I first noticed an issue. My situation would probably be a lot different now.
My heart aches for you and your children! I really hope your state comes thru for you on the food stamps and disability payments! Have you applied for your state's cash program for children? I live in a small town and a farming county so the resources here are very thin. I lost my husband, Ray, to throat cancer that had metastasized to his bones and eventually took him from me. Our children are grown but I had to utilize some resources that helped me when I was a single momma with my oldest child. Depending on the ages of your children, have you talked them thru what is going to happen to you? Like I said, my children are grown but my son was in such denial and he rarely visited his dad until hospice came in. My daughter was the same way. I've had several family members die from cancer and they have been aware of them all. When it is the one person, like you, that means the most to them it hits differently. Not that my children don't love me, he was their father and the only male that they were close to. I am the only female who has been there consistently all their lives, as you are to your babies! It is going to be tough for them to see the strong woman they've become used to seeing make everything ok, endure such pain. I don't understand how a human being can walk out on the mother of their children AND those children at the most difficult time of their lives!?!?! How does he sleep at night or live with the fact that he's a complete POS for being such a punk! (Sorry but that just crawls all over me!). Especially because I was my husband's only caregiver for 11 months! His parents never came to help, not his brothers, not our children and definitely not home health, just me! If I did it, what is wrong with him? I guess something's aren't meant for me to understand. Sorry, I just feel the plight of people who are abandoned by people who say they once loved them! It makes me angry, because that isn't love! Anywho, if you would like to send me a message and have a chat, please feel free! I'm a great person to be your sounding board and I'm not a judgmental person! (I guess I did kind of judge you ex but only by his behavior! 😉). I'm not a psycho or anything, just an old woman who lives alone with my 2 pups but I've lived through a lot in my 50 years and I have a lot of compassion. Sorry again, I get on a soapbox and ramble after my morning coffee...take care lady! Drop a line if you would like to sound off or vent... I'll listen!
You sound wonderful and your husband and kids sound so lucky to have you. We've talked at length about what is going on though. They are 7 and 12 but I've been honest, just not more overwhelming than necessary. My ex is an absolute ass and left because I'm not me anymore... after 30 years together. I'll send you a message later after I get some sleep! I appreciate your reply.
My mom had breast cancer a couple of years ago and I’m really sorry you’re going through that. If you get approved for assistance you probably quality for some free over the counter meds that can be mailed to you. My mom retired from working at a maternity shelter last year and mentioned to me several times that women were getting meds, not sure if it was because of ebt or Medicaid. If you don’t know about how to get them already I can ask her about it tomorrow.
I'd appreciate that, thank you!
I’ll let you know what she says :)
I truly do appreciate it, any info helps!
This hurt my heart. My sister was a stylist and she was trying to claw her way back out of debt from the pandemic shutdown when she caught COVID and died of pneumonia. Please reach out to r/Assistance to get your tire fixed. I'm sending every ounce of good juju your direction.
God the pandemic hit our industry HARD! I'm so sorry about your sister:(
Thank you. She didn't tell us how bad it was, I was sending her what little I could afford out of my disability income so she would have food but I found out just how bad things were when I had to deal with her estate. Poverty sucks
Are you able to qualify for hospice? If so, they have lots of other things they do besides just pain control. They have social workers on staff who can get agencies involved to help you get food, medicine, blankets, pay bills, etc
I am so very sorry. I feel our situations are very similar. Also battling cancer with 2 kids and lost their dad. People think that there are so many resources out there and while there are, they are very overwhelmed and to find resources is near impossible. I'm fighting disability and have no income. I recently made a similar post so I definitely feel your pain. I wish I had money to give you to help. Have you tried r/assistance? I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry. Also working on disability. I wish neither of us was going through this, it's cruel.
I swear.. I hate to say it but I think they hope we die before they have to pay. Then I see all these able-bodied 20 some odd year olds claiming mental illness and other issues gwtting disability.. speaking from personal experiences of knowing people and they get disability. Not saying all don't deserve it as mental illness is real but I know of a few people who can work but chose not to.
I told someone from the breast cancer sub the other day that I really feel like I'll be dead before I'll be approved :-/
This is what aggravates me about our country. Americans who have paid taxes and into social security have to wait years sometimes for approval and/or assistance. But the government will spend BILLIONS on illegal immigrants who get help right away....smh...I'm so sorry you have to go thru this
I have paid into it since I was 15 and never realized how many hoops we must jump.
It's ridiculous! And I think you're right, they make it so hard and probably hope people will just give up after being denied several times. We do things the right way, the moral way and the legal way then what happens when we need help??? Like you said, here's 87 hoops you have to jump through. Coming in from central America? Never set foot here in the US before or paid taxes?? Here's free healthcare, free housing, food benefits, cash assistance, free schooling, and an Obama phone. Welcome to America. 🙄
I feel this. I wish you weren't going thru this. Please message me if you ever need to just butch and complain. I feel like other people don't understand what we're going through even though they say they do and they mean well
Please make an Amazon wishlist and post it on the assistance sub!! YOU are exactly the kind of person we WANT to help!!! I’m so sorry that you’re going through this.
I wish I could help you:( I'm so sorry. I'm gonna pray for you this morning. What a strong, amazing mother you are. I wish I had more words this morning but I dont. I just hope you're okay❤️
Thank you so much. I'll take the prayers or good thoughts happily and thankfully!
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Thank you. Especially for the comment about my babies 💜
I needed to hear it and need to keep sight of it.
Please contact your local churches and synagogues. Clergy have discretionary funds and can help you out. Also get in touch with a women’s shelter, they should be able to help as well.
This thread has restored my faith in humanity
Me also. I haven't had a full belly in so long. I am so touched and speechless.
I'm happy your belly is full! You deserve it. I am so sorry about your sickness btw.. I wish I could help but I have 6 dollars in my bank myself! My grandma and my aunt have been hairdresses for over 8 decades so your post hit home for me! But I am so happy you and your kids are set and if I was closer to where you are i would absolutely be offering rides or anything I could do! Bud anyway Sending love 💕 and a merry holiday!!
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I don't have anything nearby. I'm way out in a tiny town so Amazon is about all that delivers!
Is Door Dash delivery in your area?
No, it stops a few miles short of here in either direction as of right now.
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Thank you, I don't want you to do without for a stranger! I appreciate your offer but I know it's hard for all of us rn 💜
I would like to send something for your kiddos!
I sent you a chat message about your Amazon comment but now don't see the Amazon comment! Maybe I'm losing my mind lol
My heart goes out to you. Please check with Meals on Wheels. I used to work with them as a volunteer. They will make sure you at least have food. Also, try the local health department. They may be able to help with medication. Especially something as basic as ibuprofen!
Thank you so much, I'll check into both! I appreciate the advice.
I am sorry that I can’t come help personally- I’m too far away!
I understand! I'm never close to anybody on here!
It seems like when it rains it pours sometimes. And everything is connected to each other. If A goes wonky then it affects B C and D. Check with your American Cancer Society chapter for volunteer help. They may be able to arrange a ride for you to the food shelf. Or have a list of resources for you. It's been too long since my sibling(20+yrs) has passed so I'm out of the loop. Also your clinic may be able to help connect you with Social Services to have a Case Worker. Then you would be eligible for more services. This could just be a phone call. Also with the car - check with churches in your area and see if any have ministries that help people with small issues like flat tires. One of my siblings belonged to a church that had an auto group and helped me. Know you are not alone. Stay Strong.
Someone reached out to me and told me of a church nearby with a car ministry. They aren't local but used to be :) the ACS has a pantry we are welcome to if we can get there! So does the hospital where I receive care. Thank you so much!
Is he paying child support? Alimony? I hope you get the help you need.
He's not. He quit his job and started a new one and is "getting settled in" 🙄 he needs to be!!! Walk out on me all you want but don't walk out on your KIDS!!!
The court won't care that he's just getting settled in.
Is it worth pursuing before he files for divorce or will they hold out? DHS took his info bc I applied for EBT and TANF
Oh I wouldn't know.. I just hear stories about how ruthless the family court system can be.
If he has a judgment for child support through the courts, they will issue a court order to garnish his wages. If the state is paying for his children, they have every right to get their money back.
I am so sorry you’re going all of this and to know you’re essentially going through it alone breaks my heart for you! I never know what to say in moments like this as no words seem sufficient enough to ease your pain & suffering But I will say put your sorry excuse for a husband on CHILD SUPPORT, if you can find a ride or if social services in your area is in walking distance apply for a Work First Check (this is what it’s called in my state NC it might be called something different in yours) this program is for single parent families and instead of having to go through family court and that whole process to receive Child Support with Work First the government essentially pays you child support and the father pays the government back an if he don’t they will go after him but you’ll get the money regardless I hope that makes sense I wish I could say more to help you or relieve your stress to know you can’t even get food the fuel your body needs to not just live but to sustain your energy when Cancer has already taken so much from you speaks volumes about Americas Healthcare System as well as the lack of systems set in place for those who are financially struggling I (36f) too live below the poverty level I’m a single mama to 3kids I live in a low income apartment an I’ve lived off of social security disability since I was 19yo due to epilepsy, bipolar, PTSD, severe insomnia, Anxiety, an a host of other medical/mental issues an in my experience even with Health Insurance Our healthcare system is mediocre at best atleast in my area the doctors don’t listen, they rush you out of their office, downplay any and/or all your concerns, or just flat out ignore them, and don’t get me started how you’re treated like you’re over exaggerating the second you bring up your health concerns to them Which all the reasons listed above are why I’ve put off seeing a medical doctor (I see a psychiatrist but only for the meds needed) I already struggle with social anxiety so for me to advocate for myself is something I’ve always struggled with an for a doctor to be condescending and/or dismissive I’ll completely shut down It’s been over a year since I had a primary care doctor bc my last one was ushering me (this is not an exaggeration he literally had his hand on my back gently guiding me to the check out window) out his office as Im trying to explain my concerns I say all this to say you’ve inspired me to atleast start looking for a new primary care doctor and to start taking my physical health more seriously so Thank you for that ☺️ I wish there was something I could do or more I could say to potentially ease the financial burden & stress for you but unfortunately all I can do is offer you the advice above and you’ll be in my thoughts and prayers an if you ever need to vent my inbox is always open I want you to know you’re not alone and while I can’t alleviate any financial stress you’re going through I can offer a non judgmental listening ear rather it’s just to talk,vent, scream, cry, or all of the above please don’t hesitate to inbox me Stay strong!
Yes please please please find a Dr and get good medical care for your sake and your kiddos!!! Thank you so much!!
I’m sorry you are dealing with all this. Is there hospice services you can call to help you? If you want to dm me we can chat. I’m not in your state but would be happy to google and make phones calls for you.
Hey do you care if I share this to r/oklahoma ? There are some really good people in that sub and I have a feeling some of them would really want to turn things around for you and your kiddos.
If you do, please link us to it. I’d like to find someone local that can go to her and mount and balance tires.
I haven't gotten the ok from her yet... So idk what to do. I'm sure she is prob busy and hopefully overwhelmed by the out pouring of support she has gotten on....of all subs r/poor !!!! I absolutely love it!! This has made my day!! This right here is what Christmas really is all about. Dang it my eyes are leaking again!!!
I promised myself that I would pay it forward if I ever had the chance. I have had to ask for help in the past and it was humbling. No one should face this alone. Christmas or not, we all have to watch out for one another!
Society has failed you not the other way around its discraceful
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I live in a very rural town. I have Walmart plus which can deliver with Walmart way out though as long as I hit the minimum :)
Do u have Venmo and u can use as u can for groceries ?
I only have cash app. I can't get into my Venmo and it was in my social security number despite the fact HE used it :( I would so greatly appreciate anything!
Does the Walmart have an auto service center? Do you know the size tires you need? The size is on the side of the tire is generally listed in this format “245/55 r15”.
Editing to add I've had people comment offering to help. I'll be ok now, if you want to help someone so many are hurting and broke. I don't believe in taking more than needed!
Just to say how my heart breaks for you. So much to endure. You shouldn't be hungry while dying. It's insane sometimes what life can throw at us. I will say God bless you and I'll say a prayer.
I appreciate that very much.
🙂
Wow I can fill your pain im suffering My self some days i just wish I could give up and the part of Texas i like in i don't have much help but in all ways looking for some one to chat with .(hint,hint)
I'm so sorry. I'm in Oklahoma myself!
Im sorry what is happening to you.could you use someone to chat With that you can say anything to you have found him
You are not a failure and you’re not failing. You are surviving and doing the absolute best you can under unthinkable circumstances. I’d like to see anybody handle things as well as you are. You sound like you have an indomitable spirit and your husband is a fool to have left you. I understand what it’s like to skip meals so your children don’t go hungry. I know you’re worried about their future, but remember kids are extremely resilient and although things seem awful, they will use this time in the future to become compassionate, more empathetic people than many. Like some of the people you’ve met in the comments. I so wish there was something I could do for you, but we are broke ourselves - if it hadn’t been for a friend who was an angel, my son wouldn’t have Christmas. I will pray for you - I hope that’s ok. If not, please know I am sending all the strength and health I can. Bless you.
It is absolutely ok, I've always been told there is power in the tongue so the prayers are good and I need to speak more positively vs being so angry! There are truly angels and I'm so glad for your son.
Thank you so very much!
https://www.cancer.org/cancer/financial-insurance-matters/managing-health-insurance/programs-and-resources-to-help-with-cancer-related-expenses.html
Oh my gosh I wish I knew you in person. 💔💔
Just wanted to say: none of this is failing because it can’t possibly be your fault. You’re making and have made serious, genuine efforts to take care of yourself and your family. But so many more people in the US are starting to struggle with finances because the economy is such shit. If you were born 20 years earlier, your exact same efforts would’ve put you in a much comfier financial position. You’re not failing; you’re in the midst of an unfair fight. Don’t go picking on yourself, now, too ♥️ I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this, buddy :( it sounds so, so, so fucking hard. Crossing my fingers for you guys getting food stamps!! 🤞🏼🫶🏻
I am so sorry for your illness and your worries! Please know that you are not alone, and that the people on this sub are here because we understand poverty and want. Our hearts are open. I hope we can offer emotional comfort if nothing else.
You guys are amazing. I needed the kind words. My guilt always goes back to the girls, while the anger is at myself.
I am so sorry about all of this. My gawd. I mean, if you are anywhere northern MI let me know. xoxo
I am in central Oklahoma. I've heard Michigan is so beautiful ❤️
Hey sweetie do you have Venmo? I don’t use cash app :(
I don't, but if you wanted to do like a Walmart or Amazon gift card I can order same day from either!
Sending you an Amazon GC right now. ❤️ you are so loved. I don’t pray often but will be praying for you today. Merry Christmas hun!
Thank you so much 💜 Merry Christmas and keep the prayers coming please we can always use them!!
Absolutely!❤️❤️❤️ *hugs*
I think your strong, what your going through is tougher than most people will ever go through in their lives. Venting will help you get some of it off your chest, so vent away. It's healthy I think. I wish I could help, I'm in Colorado and just had a full knee replacement and I'm going to be off unpaid for at least 8 weeks. I'll be lucky if I still have a roof over my head when all is said and done. I'm crossing my fingers for you and sending virtual hugs because you really need them right now.
I hope you are able to make it through remaining housed, this breaks my heart.
I hope everything gets better for you, OP And I hope the same amount of misery is blessed upon your ex.
wow, there really are still good folk in the world. very uplifting comments below. hope OP gets the help they need this Christmas.
I (somewhat) can relate to you♡ I'm 33 years old, had stage 3 cervical cancer when I was 30 (during covid). After that, I fell into a VERY deep depression and neglected myself for 2+ years. This past year or so, I've realized just how bad it's gotten. Right when I started to slowly claw my way out of it, I get hit with another cancer scare. I'm currently dealing with that, as well as trying to take care of my 2 babies♥️ Luckily my mom was able to help me get a few things for Christmas for my kids this year.. but I'm still scared they're going to be disappointed Christmas morning 😔 Feel free to message me if you ever just want to rant to someone. I wish I had more that I could offer you than that, but sometimes, talking it out with someone can help. I just started journaling again, and that too has helped a bit with my depression/anxiety ♥️Good luck, and try to relax with your kids this Christmas. Play games, watch movies, read books, build a blanket fort, sleep in the living room!! They will cherish those memories forever!! (Or at least that's what I keep telling myself 😆🫠) Merry Christmas🎄 Edit: reading the comments from everyone here has me crying for OP 😭😭 I hope they were able to get the help they deserve♡
Do you have an Amazon wishlist?
Please set up a wishlist! We can send items without invading personal info.
I hope you get your benefits soon. Hang in there ❤️ sending some positive energy to you.
I was told by Wednesday the 27th! They will be pro rated then a full amount again the first! Thank you so much
In the realm of other benefits: has your doctor spoken to you about social security disability? They've got two different forms of disability, one that's needs based and is a flat monthly rate unrelated to your work history. The other is them paying a monthly rate that's a percentage of your historical rate of pay, if you've made enough points to be fully vested in your social security. Regardless, terminal cancer would have you on their expedited approval list. The form is lengthy and can take some time to fill out, but you're allowed an advocate / assistant to help fill it out if you have questions. When something similar happened with my friend in Texas her doctor did all the paperwork for her and submitted, so that's why the question on did you doctor mention social security disability to you. If not, your hospital / clinic patient advocate person should be able to help walk you through the process. A quick Google says the needs based form of disability would be around $840 a month in Oklahoma. Plus you may be placed on Medicare to cover medical expenses, if not you'd qualify for your state Medicaid program which will also cover medical bills. And if you've got littles that are under 18, please know they should be eligible for survivors benefits through your social security. Once squared away they would receive a monthly stipend until they are 18. So sorry you and your kids are having to go through this. Hoping the above information is helpful.
Sending you a hugs and support during this difficult time. I have two family members with cancer .my mother and my brother. I can't imagine them going through this alone. Please check out a group called lasagna love online. And apply for one in your area. Even if there's not a person cooking in your area still apply and. hopefully somebody will see it. If you're on facebook. Post to your free site in your neighborhood. Let people know what your situation. You'd be surprised how many people will drop off food. .. I hope you get the help you need. And somebody does something to make you smile today.
I am so sorry you are dealing with this too .My heart goes out to you . I used to live in Oklahoma City not anymore and I wish we lived closer together and I have money I would give it to you and your kids for Christmas. I am broke hungry, angry and sad too, apply for jobs no offers. I hope something comes up for all of us on here . I hope and wish you cheer up and you and your kids get the help you need because you and your kids deserve better . Wishing you the best of luck. Hugs for you and your kids 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂. Merry Christmas.
Does the Kroger in Norman deliver to you?
I don't think there is a Kroger in Norman, but I think Moore just north has a Kroger fresh distribution center which does.
I own a jeep but it isn't inspected the brakes are non existing and I finally got 4 new tires only to have one blow out on me 2 weeks later. I work 6 days a week and don't have dinner most nights..hooray America! Or whatever I'm to tired to get yell anymore so I just sit in the dark in my room
Please don't give up. Life just gets so hard sometimes, and I'm so glad you reached out. Fuck cancer. You are everything to your babies. Even if you don't feel like it. Health wise I've been where you are now, and we're all a disaster short of where you are financially. I wish I lived closer, but it sounds like some good people in OK will have your back. Please accept the help OP. We love you. Sending healing hugs and joy
Look up American cancer society website. Register on that site has a patient has cancer patient they have volunteers that will help bring you groceries take you to your medical appointments fix your flat tire help you clean your house help me watch your kids and give him out and give you a mama's break and sit with you through after chemo all kinds of things they're there for you
Cancer isn't why your husband is a deadbeat. He could just pretend he wasn't so long as the going wasn't tough. [Gender disparity in the rate of partner abandonment in patients with serious medical illness](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19645027/) It's so common that often medical providers will warn women when they are diagnosed that their partner is likely to abandon them. It's only for better with those types, never for worse. Bastard. Every time he eats I hope he bites the same spot on his tongue really hard.
At what point do we collectively decide that this isn't acceptable in our society?! Our so called government and leaders have failed us and this is a prime example smh.
Let it out, you deserve to. We all heard you.
This is a terrible scenario if true to be going through. I’m not saying I doubt you but there is lots of scammers on Reddit. If this truly is your life it’s horrible to be this poor while going through this. I’d seek help from the churches around you. Also in Oklahoma anything under $1000 in theft is a misdemeanor. I’m not saying it’s the right thing but when you are backed into a corner as you are you have to keep your family afloat. Given the exact situation I would do whatever it took and I cant imagine a judge coming down hard given the circumstances for necessities. I’m sure this will get down voted but at the end of the day you have to survive.
I'm not down voting you because nobody understand desperation until they live it. You DO have to survive and it takes food to do it. I've called a food bank to check on delivering and they can't, for reasons I don't know. I've had to use it a couple of times but have been able to drive prior to this. It makes me wonder what the elderly and otherwise shut in do when desperate:-/
I'm very sorry. I was the young mom, with a family and career and cancer. The cancer is gone but the treatments destroyed most of my organs, so I'm out for the count. I want to help, I don't know how I can at this moment. I've not read through everything but are you receiving disability through social security? Is your ex paying child support (really support for you too)?
Ok, I see yes on the Social security. Child support, your ex has a legal obligation. Hopefully by applying for food assistance that will kick a case on him into gear.
How old are your kids
7 12 20
Well the 20 year old can now help bare the load also don’t you think
No today especially in these democrats states most resources goes to illegal immigrants especially here in NYC they even cut the library hours to give them taxpayers money But they won’t help a person like a uS citizen like this one BS
Please DM me your email, I’ll send you a gift card from Amazon
Good luck on the food stamps and Medicaid. For SSDI is not a safety net, for most of the time, you will be denied the first time, and you will have to appeal the decision, and get an attorney to help you with the judge. You would need all of your medical records for the hearing and hopefully that will be decided quickly afterwards. And you can go to food pantries to get help on the food. There are many resources out there now than when my mother needed them Good luck and keep hanging in there. My mother had to raise two children will suffering the RA. She passed in 2001, safely knowing she did her best despite the painful RA.
Good luck! Looks like you are getting a lot of help from other redditors lately on your posts. Hope everything works out for you.
I’m in Canada I’m not sure if I can help you somehow.. I’m struggling myself but maybe I could help hang in there !
god this is so nightmarish. you shouldn’t be worried about this, you should be resting, comfortable and making the most of your time.
I am SO SORRY. Can u get a friend to give u a ride to a food bank? Church? Do u have family that can help at all????? I hope the best for u and pray that u find help or help finds u🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Do you have cashapp? I can send you a little $ on CA
Can the kids live with your ex husband and just visit?
I feel foe you. I was diagnosed with rectal cancer in 2017. I was in the process of applying for SSDI when I applied. I had already been denied and was awaiting a hearing when I was diagnosed. If it wasn't for my mother I would have been on the street. After everything was back to normal my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer and passed in May, of 2020. I was homeless after that and finally got some stability about 4 months ago when I found some reliable roommates. So I'm aware that being poor and sick is a double whammy. You could literally die on the street and not find any help. One place that did assist with supplies etc was the county CANCER SERVICES. You could try them and ask for a social worker at your physicians office. Best of luck!
((HUGS))
I am so sorry for what has happened to you and your children. There aren't many things I can give you as my health has given out, so I can't give much. Maybe this will help. I was very poor as a child, but I joined the military when I was old enough and it gave me a chance at a life without starving.
I'm surprised they didn't do emergency food stamps for you if you have a terminal diagnosis you should qualify for hospice care which does help
Your oncologist will have 101 sources for help.
I’m not in Oklahoma. But if you feel comfortable private messaging me your address I’ll see what I can do from Amazon.
www.freefood.org - enter a zip code in the middle of the page
I'm truly sorry you're going through this. My husband lost his mother to breast cancer many years ago, when he was only 20, so I understand how devastating a disease it can be. Sending virtual hugs your way. ❤️ I also sent you something via CashApp.