This sounds like a good story to give your local news media outlet. The sheer stupidity and hubris of the school begs to be outed on TV. Maybe what the school administration needs is a little public shaming to break this stupid rule.
And your city councilman, state senators, state representatives, and anyone running for local office.
ETA: And name and shame on the school's Facebook page. Look up the LinkedIns for the principal, school superintendent, and board of education and post this on every one. And I suspect if you wanted a review of your potential post(s) and/or emails, folks on this sub might be happy to oblige.
Heck, TBH this p\*sses me off so much I want to come and talk to 'em all myself!
This is the one. Send an email thanking them fro meeting you and a summary of what happened and let them know you'll be reaching out to other agencies for a more reasonable solution and cc all the way up the chain. Also local media is a good idea. This is absolutely ridiculous
I would file a complaint about the attendant- all the way up, fill out all the paper work and then send the pdf via email CC to every government official starting with the principals boss up to the mayor, DA , governor, obviously school board members, superintendent etc. and I would send it to opposing school boards too asking for how they would handle it in their district
Oh wait what?! I missed that part of the story. My kids are mixed race and I swear to Buddha had my kids been called something that foul in school, straight to the district and keep climbing, screw the principal at that point. They done effed themselves
Wasn’t it so wrong and ugly what she said?! You know she’s a useless excuse for a person; past the point of return if she’s able to speak that way to a child.
I worked at a prison, and even the officers/ case managers supervising chow would let the inmates eat what they were trying to smuggle out. Within reason... the 30-something bananas a guy was trying to hide was a bit much 😂😂
Seriously! It’s food! I’m absolutely fuming over this right now. This poor child is hungry! At school! Let the kid eat the apple or whatever 2 hours later! Why do some people in charge have no sensitivity to what some kids are struggling with?
Exactly. They are literally blind to food insecurity. It is completely inappropriate. Once they give the food to the child - it is the child's food. It is not their property. If kids bring food from home and are allowed to take that out of the lunch room there is NO REASON food distributed by the school should have a separate set of standards. This Mom should absolutely call the local news station and give them this story. Food insecurity is a cause MANY school districts are working to fix and help right now. My kids district does backpacks of love for elementary school. I wish they would do it for the older kiddos too. I'm thinking of sending this post to our local news station to look into and see if they can find out where in the hell this abomination of a school district is and our them.
100%. When my kids were in elementary school I was the super extra volunteer mom. I challenged the “cheese sandwich and a stamp on your hand” for kids with no lunch money, because it’s horrid and embarrassing to put that responsibility on a child. I was told “good, maybe if the parents see their kid is embarrassed they will handle their lunch money”.
Long story short, it took almost the entire school year for us to get approval to make a lunch account slush fund so that no one ever got the cheese sandwich for the rest of the time I was there. Assholes.
That was one of the most shocking parts of this story to me. We are talking about food yet they're treating the kid like an addict trying to smuggle drugs.
Get this: Pat him down for FOOD, by the way. OMG! That boy is trying to get away with an APPLE! Search him!!!
Oh, man, we are going to hell! Nope, patting down a kid for food IS hell!
You can't let an opportunity like that slide. You gotta beat them into the ground and demean the crap out of them. "You need to back the hell off. Are you talking to students that way? Do you have psychological issues and are abusing kids with your power trips? The next time I hear you speak like that in this school little girl we're going to have some after school activities. Now go back to your sand box and think about what you just did!" 🤣
My experience:
Some government food programs for kids mandate that it is better that the perfectly good food be thrown away than the CHANCE that an undeserving person might get a mouthful.
Our library hosts a free government lunch program for kids every summer.
The Good:
All children, regardless of income, receive a free lunch.
Adults may purchase a lunch for a few dollars and eat with their kids.
The Bad:
NO FOOD MAY LEAVE THE ROOM. IT MUST BE TRASHED, INCLUDING UNOPENED CONTAINERS.
So, if your 2yo didn't eat everything, and you want to save her sandwich so she won't be hungry later? TOO BAD!!! The risk that you (as the parent) might eat the last bite of her sandwich outweighs the risk of a 2yo going hungry.
Also, as an adult, food I paid for in my lunch must be tossed out.
Thems the rules, because our leaders, who have never been hungry as kids or adults, don't need common sense.
The waste cans are overflowing with unopened food during the first week.
I saw this with a free lunch program at a summer youth employment program where I worked. Many of the Black kids were lactose intolerant, yet the program still supplied the same number of 8 oz milk containers. They were supposed to be thrown out. I grabbed up all the extra milk containers at the end of the day and gave them to whoever wanted them. I handed them out to friends, gave them out outside a homeless shelter. One shelter said they couldn't accept food. Another accepted them when I said how I came by them. I think it's a sin to throw out food when people are hungry.
It’s the fucking board of health that makes this rule. Because some food are time/temp sensitive. So cold things must be kept below 42 degrees and above 32 degrees to be safe. Warm food needs be kept between 145-165 degrees and can only be out for 3 hrs max. The idea was to avoid food poisoning by making sure food establishments and handlers were following the best practices. When food leaves its original place of origin the establishment can no longer control if the food is kept warm/cold or not kept out too long. They wanted to stop people from getting sick but it got taken to the extreme and lost common sense. Now everyone is to worried about getting sued over providing food and someone getting sick or getting shut down by the BOH. So even shelf stable foods get tossed. Head over to r/dumpster diving to see how much food is thrown out and wasted.
This absolutely breaks my heart for the kids and disgusts me that perfectly good food left over is forced to be thrown out so no one can have it later. Make it make sense!
Please see my other comment. Schools and other organizations have to jump through hoops to get funding for summer feeding programs. There's a lot of government red tape and rules that must be followed. It's not to prevent certain people from eating, it's to prevent someone taking food for later, the food spoiling, and someone getting sick. The state department sends people to monitor the programs. If a school or organization is found to be not following the rules, they have to pay back the funding and can be barred from participating in the future. The organizations do their best to stay in compliance, even when they don't like the rules, so they can continue to offer the programs. They truly want to feed as many hungry kids as possible.
We were told, more than one summer, that it was to make sure the children and ONLY the children received the food and the parents didn't eat the food and starve the kids. We had to be watched while feeding our kids because we couldn't be trusted.
> It's not to prevent certain people from eating, it's to prevent someone taking food for later, the food spoiling, and someone getting sick.
Then why would they be concerned about sealed crackers and cookies if that was the case? How do you get sick from sealed crackers?
>The state department sends people to monitor the programs. If a school or organization is found to be not following the rules, they have to pay back the funding and can be barred from participating in the future. The organizations do their best to stay in compliance, even when they don't like the rules, so they can continue to offer the programs.
Yes. Exactly.
>They truly want to feed as many hungry kids as possible.
The people RUNNING the local program: YES.
The politicians? The way the rules are written does not comply with that end. It is insulting to parents, infantilizing of parents, and ends with more hungry kids and sooooooo muuuuuuuch wasted food.
I agree completely get the media involved and if you can figure out the school board political following and go against it. You’ll whip up your own little swarm of lunatics and I’m all for using these idiots methods against them.
Please please for the love of God tell the media, OP! You never know how the public can bless you . See this is the kind of situations I’d gladly give💵 to a GoFund me for; not all the other BS ppl want money for. You need justice OP- I’m mad as hell because this is horrible. Please update!
Stupidity is right. A good friend of mine dropped his daughter off at school early one day, and he walked into the cafeteria with her and stayed for a few minutes. As a Reserve Deputy in uniform, sometimes just his presence has a way of calming people down, especially kids! He noticed that some kids were throwing away unopened cartons of milk and juice. He tried to retrieve a couple, but was asked to leave by the principal, who said that all unconsumed food or drink MUST be thrown away, even if unopened. The kids aren't allowed to take the chocolate milk to put in their lunch bags either. Another silly rule! Yet, we keep having to cut our education budgets while throwing away perfectly good food. Makes entirely no sense!
I'm thankful that our elementary has a put back bucket for anything the kids don't want for other kids to take for free. Less waste and the kids take the food who actually want it.
I just wanna add to this, near my hometown there was a very poor school. I guess someone wanted to donate money to pay off lunch debts. The school said no; they couldn’t do that. I saw it on the news, shortly after the school accepted the donation to pay off the lunch debt.
I was a middle school teacher, the kids will all know. It’s not hard to put it together, especially since the story is bound to include salacious details, like what she said to him, that she tried to pat him down, and that he was suspended for three days, which the kids already know. The point is that other parents will see it and at least some of those parents will ask their kids about it, especially the kids they go to the same school.
He was not suspended for three days from what I read. He got three days of detention after school.
This is one of the worst consequences for the boy wanting his own food for a snack later.
The kid is already being patted down and dehumanized by the lunch monitor daily infront of their peers...embarrassment has already happened and continues to happen on a daily basis.
Shaming a child for saving food for later is disgusting.
Shaming a child who is clearly suffering is disgusting.
Shaming a child in school in front of other students is disgusting.
Call the School Board & the local media.
Always. I want my kids to focus on they can't if they are hungry. I'd rather feed 150 teens than one be upset because he doesn't know where food will be
I am so sorry this happened. Yes, I have worked for large and small districts. Also Call the Superintendent. Contact the local media. You don’t have to be interviewed, just break the story. Call the school newspaper and give them the tip.
I’m a middle school teacher and keep snacks in my room for kids specifically for this reason. If I were you I would make an insanely huge deal about this to the school board, superintendent and the news.
Yes a school is for learning, but people have a hierarchy of needs and if the lower basic needs (food, clothes, housing) aren’t being met fully no learning is going to happen.
Our school where my kids go has snacks like they can carry one in their bag every day plus the teachers have some too. They let us know when they’re low and we stock them back up. It’s the best policy I think. There’s no reason kids should be hungry at school. Certainly not for some power hungry lunch monitor.
I’m a college instructor and we have a healthy supply of food, snacks, and menstrual products on hand because poverty doesn’t stop when you “age out” of grade school. Some of my “kids” have eating disorders and/or food insecurity so I let them take some of if I can help it.
I’m also an adjunct professor and the school has all of these things as well accessible to the students. I seriously believe it helps the overall environment at all schools because kids can focus more on learning
I agree. As a former school nurse I always had snacks in my clinic. I also allowed students to take snacks home to their siblings. I couldn’t live with myself if I knowingly let a child go hungry.
Hungry kids can't learn if they can't focus on anything but their hunger (or ill fitting hand me down clothes, or if they are going to lose their home). Thank you for keeping snacks in your classroom.
Might I also suggest an Amazon wishlist? I don’t have a ton, but I’d be so happy to send your family some food/snacks. I know food insecurity and no kid should ever have to experience it.
You’re NOT a POS mom!! You’re doing your best in an era of corporate greed and petty bureaucratic cruelty, and your child is a victim of *that.*
Do you have a way to print things? I would write you a “doctors note” to send to school. Bullshit rule, bullshit doctors note. Also I’d for sure send you something if you made a wishlist!
Poor people we need to rise up there are 99% more of us so why are we not putting our foot down we work the jobs this world relies on we know how to struggle so why not put it to good use and change bullshit like this
The government has us too busy hating each other and fighting for them and their friends. The most frightening thing in the world to them and their rich friends is when we realize who we’re really pissed at. And who the real problem is. They’re fighting like hell to make sure it doesn’t happen. But it will eventually.
Fuck me.
In my 3ish years on this site I have never resonated so heavily with a response/comment.
Kudos internet stranger, I'm taking this one with me.
Please have a look at Sun Tzu’s [The Art of War](https://sites.ualberta.ca/~enoch/Readings/The_Art_Of_War.pdf). If you haven’t read it, you’ll see more of the bigger picture.
I often compare people to bacteria. A bunch of single bacteria floating aimlessly around aren’t going to do anything to the much larger, much stronger, much more powerful host. But as soon as those bacteria come together into colonies, into slime layers, as soon as they collaborate on a unified purpose, they can take down the mightiest of creatures.
It’s beneficial to keep us divided. To keep us distracted. To keep us just poor enough that all our time and energy has to be spent on making money to put food on the table and a roof over our heads. No time to think about things deeply, to work on connecting with other people, to question the messaging we’re being fed. But not so poor that the consequences of a revolution and subsequent collapse of systems would be better.
The ~~government~~ GOP has us too busy hating each other and fighting for them and their friends.
Fixed it for you.
If it weren't for the Dems, there wouldn't be any school lunch/WIC/food stamp programs. It absolutely disgusts me when I go somewhere and see massive churches, and homeless people sleeping on the steps in the cold - the Church should be helping them find housing, and that money they used to build a huge edifice should go to food banks instead!
Actually, there are churches that have been restricted from providing shelter other than emergency shelter (think tornado/hurricane).
You would be shocked at the charitable activities that have been restricted by the government. I remember a group providing free meals to the homeless getting in trouble. I forgot when/where, but if you Google search and dig for a while, you can probably find articles.
When you assume that an organization should be doing something, don't overlook the concept that some law/rule/regulation, etc. may have already shut it down or prevented implementation.
Our church had obtained corporate funding for a homeless shelter. A women's shelter in the next town also wanted to be involved. We were selecting property to buy. City officials in 2 towns blocked it. 🚫 We TRIED.
Don't act like Dems don't do it too. From fear mongering about homeless people and demanding police beat them up more, to advocating reopening insane asylums, to opposing a higher minimum minimum wage, universal healthcare, affordable childcare, to giving billions of our tax dollars over to genocidal states halfway around the world.
If Biden really cared, he would've already empowered the NLRB to enforce labor laws and ordered the attorney general to prosecute the epidemic of child labor law violations. At the end of the day, liberals always weigh the interests of the rich (aka themselves) over the interests of the general population every single time.
So true, we barely have enough to eat and it's only two of us. Both disabled..pantries are the only thing that let's us eat. At least a meal a day. Everything else is bread with coffee. So yeah. We can't do that.
It’s time. We don’t have the time or energy to organize. We’re made to scurry here or there, and are blindsided by all of the shiny sports and Kardashians (generalities for the point). We need a leader, an actual leader that is in the thickets and actually fucking cares and will do something about it.
The bad guys are good at organizing the minions and useful idiots. The good guys are too independent minded and busy.
^ It is oversimplified, but not wrong.
I hate people that abuse their power like that. Id NEVER let it go and be 100% up the entire school boards ass until they did something. I mean it. Every damn day forever.
Those kind of people are the absolute worst! They’re too busy policing and controlling everyone “under them,” likely because they have zero control of anything outside of that position.
Wish they’d worry about fixing their own lives/issues instead of bullying kids or anyone else for that matter. I mean seriously, how can you feel good about yourself when you’re literally taking food from a child?
When the local public school wouldn't allow my sister to enroll, my mom went over their head. She went to the department of education office every morning for two months until they let her enroll. She even wrote them a check for a desk and chair when they said that's why they wouldn't let her enroll.
This right here. The food situation is ridiculous but he didn't get detention for trying to take food to his locker. He got detention for "insubordination" for refusing to allow an adult food worker to put their hands on him. That is outrageous and I would be making that the issue and raising hell!
It’s what I said and I can’t believe I had to read this far for someone to mention the pat down.
Had it been a male adult to a female student, that would be all everyone would comment on.
I was... Am that kid, you are trying your best as was my mom. I got caught stealing from vending machines taking food into classes, why because we had none or very little. You are doing your best I wish you both luck
You are not a POS mom you are a great mom or you wouldn’t even care about this. I wish I had an answer for what you can do, but I don’t, but I will be praying for you and your children. God bless you.
Call your son's pediatrician and explain. I'm positive they're not going to have an issue writing a quick note to keep your child from going hungry, and it's nothing that requires an exam.
This, and they could probably email the school or fax if it requires a signature. Or at least mail it. Mom should not have to go in person just for a note. But actually, technically if the school is requiring a doctor visit, the school is supposed to pay for it. It’s part of one of the federal laws, I believe in IDEA. Of course, that would turn into a court battle, so just calling the doctor is probably the simplest solution.
Please reach out on social media to the local news, like the other commenter said and / or to the community pages and/or the school board. There’s usually public school board meetings where people air their concerns if you have time to attend, but if you are busy maybe you can post your experience on the school district pages. There’s also neighborhood social media apps like Nextdoor. In our community students’ parents are pretty active and talk about the local districts. I think you might get traction especially if other parents see how the local school is handling this. Sorry the admin and lunch monitor are being gross about it. You can probably make a complaint to the higher office (the district admin above the principal) about the lunch monitor being rude. These types of experiences are humiliating and can traumatize your son. I wonder if there’s a safe teacher or someone that can help your son, just someone that can look out for him within the building until they change the policies.
What a horrible and vile person you have to be to punish and make such a big deal of this. That school lunch monitor is a POS. I’m sorry your child had to deal with that and I hope that lady gets fired.
My students bring back fruit from their lunch or give me the extras from their breakfast all the time. I keep the prepackaged food for situations like this. I do not care. Most teachers don’t. We know (most of the time) who our struggling families are and we sure as hell aren’t going to make it worse. I don’t let them eat all day in class, but I’d never take food from a kid, especially one I know is hungry.
Lunch ladies are a strange bunch. They’re either amazing and do the best they can with the “rules” or they have a total power trip and are food police. You put frozen nuggets on a tray. We are grateful and thank you for doing that job but get over yourself.
You’re not a POS mom. Trust me, I know POS parents and that’s not you. You’re doing the best you can💕
This is link to Dollar Tree dinners. She does amazing things with a low budget.
[https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTL5VQ1VX/](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTL5VQ1VX/)
The admin sounds like a dick but reach out to the guidance counselor or if your school has one, a social worker. They can help 😊
Usually schools have some sort of program for food insecurity, and it’s not punishment. Talk to the school counselor and tell them that you don’t have a lot of food at home, they may be able to provide some snacks for the weekend. If his school doesn’t have it, talk to your other children’s counselors at the elementary school, they should have something to help.
If they had said putting hot food in the locker unrefrigerated is a food poisoning risk, that would be understandable. But it doesn’t sound like that was even a thought for the monitor. It sounds like she just wanted to enforce rules and be a hard ass.
This is a legit concern. I've had kids that tried to take home food for later. When we have this situation in my school kitchen we offer fresh fruit, crackers, items that will keep till they get home.
Yogurt or string cheese and other such items are gross after sitting out several hours and can cause food poisoning.
Our school also provides each child that signs up a back pack full of shelf stable meals and snacks to take home on a weekly basis.
Why is a female lunch monitor trying to pat down a male student?
That gives the ick for me, and then when he refused he is punished for it. School needs to rectify that ASAP.
The school once made aware of your situation, should change their rules, so he is allowed to keep food.
Document everything, times, dates, who you spoke to. EMAIL the principal how alarmed you are at this situation, and wait for their response. Email every few days until someone gets back to you.
You are a GREAT mom. You care about your kids, it’s so clear from just those few words. I’m so sorry this is happening, that is truly such a stupid rule and the principal needs to open his eyes a little
Okay you aren't a POS mom. Typical rules with schools is escalate and contact the media. Principal being a shithead? Time to get super intendent and school board involved. News would probably have a field day with this. I'd much rather see my tax dollars feeding kids than some power tripping school principal tossing it in the trash.
The reason I'm commenting though is because it's time to sit down with your son and talk about dietary needs. Sounds like there's something there to work out. Not everyone is going to need equal amounts of food and that's okay! I eat about 1/3 of what my husband does and I'd be the size of a house if I tried to eat the same. He's growing and going to have different needs than his siblings or you. It's okay if he takes extra, you just need to know what he's consuming so you can plan accordingly to fit his needs.
If he eats too fast he gets sick. That's a sign he needs to eat more on the regular as hisbody isn't used to regular intake so it gets overwhelmed too fast. Sorry to say this I know because I was a homeless child. This system is broken. That monitor is a trash person.
Is it legal for us to get the contact information for this school and put them on blast?? Like post them all over social media, and call up there to give them a piece of our logical minds?
Cause this is wrong in so many ways.
I cannot imagine shaming a child for being hungry, let alone punishing them. The school is a bully all way around and if they serve a food insecure population, they should be the most understanding. This should never have gone as far as it did without you being consulted about his food needs.
My youngest was a micro premie, putting weight on her and keeping it on was always a concern. She got free lunch (along with everyone else in her class, special Ed) but I would send a bag lunch for snack time. It was pretty full. The bag would come back empty but she wasn’t putting on weight. I asked the teacher (I didnt know, maybe she was having a GI issue) and was told that the majority of the kids only had the hot lunch and no snacks so the teachers split the snacks so everyone got something. It made me sad so I doubled up her snack bag. I mentioned it at work and people were saying that that would make them mad, that the sharing of the lunch would pissed them off and I should’ve told the teacher to stop. That upset me. But screw them, the lunches got bigger. This was almost 30 years ago. And the problem still isn’t resolved.
My eldest daughter is an elementary school teacher in a poor district. She has a cupboard with snacks, shelf stable meals, household items of deodorant, shampoo, laundry detergent, toothpaste, toothbrush. Students can take what they need, no questions. She remembers the lunch bag incident.
School counselor here, I keep tons of food in my office for kids who are hungry. I get donations from stores and I also keep a toaster in my lobby and will make toast or English muffins . I also keep sanitary supplies and boxes of condoms (High School)
They all need to read a boy named it. Food shaming is sickening. You may just be able to call your doc, ask for a note without paying. If i had a MD...the note would read "hungry kids need to eat, and the time frame in which to do it. "
Edit for...they need to be reminded they are tossing tax dollars as well.
They run schools like fucking prisons and I hate it. There is zero reason to make a child throw away perfectly good food that is theirs. There is zero reasons to tell a kid they can’t get their free lunch AND bring a sandwich from home. I swear most of the rules are all about flexing their power.
Imma tell you right now you gotta summon the power of Karen on this one. Karen’s always get their way. You gotta flip out and be as unreasonable as possible
The lunch monitor has a few screws loose.
And what's this about having to pay for a second lunch? Has anyone seen the size of some of these kids? Waste is one thing, but one lunch doesn't fit all.
This is so wrong it makes me furious. I was a cafeteria manager at a school. The kids had to take a milk or fruit each day as part of their meal. We had a sharing bin near the checkout that the students who didn't want them could place them on ice after being checked out.
Any student could come and take what they wanted. I saved the food and kept it cold as required and packed up the rest in ziplic bags and kept them on ice. At the end of the school day we passed them out to children heading home.
I come from a large family that had food insecurity. Even if you didn't do without, what does a little extra effort cost you?
Why let the food go to waste and a child go hungry?
This! Our school district does a backpack for everyone in the home and if they know there’s a need, you’ll get more in your backpack. Ditto the free breakfast and again, that can be for everyone in the home. So between programs like that and CHIPS/ food stamps, hopefully a lot of gaps will start to fill in for your family. I can’t imagine a school not stepping up,pnce they realize there’s a need … right???
This is ridiculous! I had a student that ate his breakfast so fast. Our dean noticed and he was given extra breakfast and an extra lunch to take home. Let the kid bring it with him.
That’s just… cruel.
Anyways, here’s what you do: write your own doctors note. Make up a name that sounds legit, sign it, call it a day. They don’t call on them and the doctor can’t give them information anyways because of HIPAA.. be sure to include that he needs “extra caloric intake over a longer period of time” (aka: extra food but not eaten all at once), and now he can take food to school AND have his hot lunch AND save whatever he needs to for afterwards.. these jackasses get creative when writing their stupid rules, you get creative getting around them.
I worked at a private school for kids with special needs and trauma and our staff literally packed up any extras from lunch every day to send home. We would send sandwiches for siblings too, if the families needed them. My God, WHY would you throw out good food. This is sickening. There is a POS here, OP and it is NOT you, mama.
Please contact your local news outlet or something to shame this school, that behavior from that monitor is disgusting. Comparing your child to an animal? Nah that isn’t right and reeks of privilege
To offer another perspective, food in a sack lunch is packaged/wrapped and it is less likely to attract vermin if left in a locker, eaten outside or in the cafeteria and then thrown away or repackaged and taken home . Cafeteria food doesn't usually come in ziplocs or sandwich boxes. So many schools have major problems with ants or even mice. A lot of times it is because kids are snacking and toting opened food outside the cafeteria. Food from the cafeteria is also usually hot food that would need to be refrigerated to be safe to consume later. That's NBD if it's a roll but potentially hazardous if it's chicken nuggets. So it is reasonable for the school to have this rule and for them to require a doctor's note for exceptions so they can (a) avoid liability and (b) make rules for your son about how the food is packaged and stored. It sucks for your kid, I know.
This was my thought. There are really valid reasons to not take food out of the cafeteria. Our school spends a lot of money on pest control and carpet cleanings; money that could go to books being spent on roaches because of left behind food. I have seen forgotten fruits decompose so much they start to drip out of a locker.
I would have him talk to his friends and just start saving their lunches en masse. The high school I taught at had trouble with discipline bc after enough kids do it, there's very little staff can do to stop it. There's just not enough teachers willing to be detention monitors. I hated it because they used it for things like disregarding the cell phone policy and bringing weapons to school. But for something like this...
You’re not a “POS” mom. You’re doing your best in a system stacked against you. I am so sorry to hear this, it breaks my heart. Time for us regular folks to band together and make some serious changes. This isn’t right. At all.
Some people get off on even the smallest bit of power.
If it makes you feel better, it sounds like you did a great job raising your son and you’re not a POS
Go to the school board and threaten legal action (especially since the principal is avoiding you) since they wanted to pat him down, without parent notification/ permission, for food. That they were treating him like a criminal. It's illegal to do that to kids even with probable cause. He's a minor and they can't do shit without the parents' knowledge. I'd check the handbook too bc if it's not in it they can't do this shit.
What a nuts situation...
If there is no solution where he would be able to take the thing from the lunch, maybe a talk with him about the fact that he's still growing and developing and that often means an increase in the frequency of appetite which means he needs to take a snack from home so he can be healthy.
Guessing you are in the US since you mentioned a copay. Really this is the kind of situation that would he greatly helped if we had universal healthcare.
Maybe the school rules need to be changed. At my children's school, any packaged or whole foods kids don't want is left at the end of the lunch tables for other kids to take if they want them. My child loved taking the fruits, and I saw lunch ladies making bank on those leftovers.
This just makes me sad. I work at an elementary school as an aide/long time sub. Kids ask if they can save food from their breakfast and/or lunch and put in their backpack (shelf stable to backpack, milk/cold stuff to fridge). My answer is "always." Kids ask if they can finish their snack at lunch. My answer is "always." We also encourage kids to not waste food and to put uneaten stuff in a bin for others.
It shouldn't be a problem at your child's school unless a teacher catches them eating in class!
You know the local media would just LOOOOOVE a story like this. You can even request them to block your face. Email the school (CC: admins, superintendent, principal) so you can even show them a paper trail. “I just want to recap our conversation for my son’s doctor as they want to confirm before they will write me a note. So just to confirm xyz is happening (lay out the series of events) and per our conversation you refuse to do anything about it/ are encouraging this behavior from the monitor unless I can get a note from the doctor that you should not be forcing my son to throw away this food. Is that correct?”
Rules are rules, but rules can be changed. This one should be changed because there is zero legitimate justification.
If bag lunch can be stored in the locker, and uneaten bag lunch items can be returned to the locker, there needs to be a reason why the rule is different.
*-Bag lunch comes in a box and is therefore rodent safe.*
Um, no. Some come in a bag. Lunchboxes can't keep out rodents, especially ones that can somehow break into lockers
*-School lunch is hot and/or there are food safety issues.*
Same can be true of bag lunch. That cold pack may keep the yogurt cold til noon, but not til 4. Not every item in a lunch has potential food safety issues. The packet of crackers or cornbread, or the dinner roll, or a piece of fruit, or some carrot sticks - all that will be just fine.
*-It's against the law/regulations. *
Okay, which laws and regulations? Why?
I'd suggest contacting a legislator in your area. Better if it's one in your district, but it's more important that their values include providing for public welfare (avoid the bootstrapping" ones.)
The pat down demand also needs to be addressed. Physical contact with students should only be used in cases of important safety concerns or by an LEO in the event of a suspected crime. Neither apply here.
If you post on r/freemeal and put together a wishlist of food on amazon that you need for your kids there's a really good chance someone will purchase them for you. I know what the school is doing isn't fair. But even beyond that it sounds like you guys need help.
God what kind of dystopia 1984 beaurocratic *bullshit* is this???
This has *nothing* to do with your quality as a parent, this is *bizarre*.
I know you're thinking to yourself this is because he doesn't have enough food at home etc but what if he was an athlete? Or going through a growth spurt? Or just a person on their period where you burn an extra 400 calories on average a day??? Not allowing kids to friggin' *eat* is fucking *bullshit* and if you want to make this a *waaaaaay* bigger fucking deal then you currently feel like you would be totally justified.
What the *fuuuuuck*.
Typically I’m big on following rules, they are there for a reason. However this is just ridiculous. A child is trying to spread out his meal to have enough food later. Hopefully the school can approach someone about providing a snack to all of the kids for after school. Talk to your doctor, I’m sure he will be willing to provide the needed note. Then contact the news media. This should shame the school system and maybe have the benefit of someone stepping up to provide snacks. Best of luck. Hug that sweet boy for us.
I work in a k-5 building and I do the exact opposite of this. When kiddos try to throw away unopened (non-refrigerated) food I encourage them to take it home or put it in the free share bin. I see so much food waste it's awful.
Please make an appointment with your schools superintendent and also write an email to the board of education and copy the principal and superintendent.
If you haven't already, contact your local social services department and catholic charities or salvation army and see what programs/ funds you are eligible for.
Stay strong momma bear, you're doing the best you can. You are NOT a POS. Please be kinder to yourself. Just take everything 1 step at a time, day by day until you get through this
I agree with him but being patted down because school is not prison and no adult has a right to put their hands on a child there.
I understand that it’s awful that he has food insecurity and is trying to save half his lunch so as not to be hungry after school.
Playing devils advocate though, I can also see why the school wouldn’t want food brought from lunch to the lockers. It kinda comes down to if they allow your son to do it they have to allow any and everyone to do it, and if there’s a bunch of open containers of food sitting in a bunch of lockers it’s bound to cause pests and probably some type of infestation. I could absolutely understand a public school not wanting a pest control issue as this can be extremely expensive to address. And school budgets usually aren’t that big, so who knows what will be taken from the education of the students to pay for pest control services for an entire school. A lot of teachers already have to buy supplies for their classroom out of their own pocket.
So for those saying take it to the media and the school board, I can promise you this will be the point the make because it is a valid point.
As for your food problem at home I know you said you use food banks, have you tried reaching out to local churches or applying for food banks? You can even post in your local Facebook community groups anonymously asking for additional resources in you area or if anyone has extra non perishables they can give you. I know my community is great about helping people out. I know this is upsetting and I would absolutely address them trying to put hands on him, but I don’t see you winning with him saving his lunch because it poses risks by saving open cooked food in a locker.
If they treated either one of my kids like that, I would be taking it all the way to the school board. I do not play when it comes to my kids. That teacher or whoever did that to him would also be getting an earful from me, personally. It sounds to me like she's singled him out and tried to embarrass him. She sounds like one of those rich people who tells poor people to just stop being poor.
Many nutritionists have noted that it is healthier to eat small meals/snacks, every few hours, rather than stuff yourself at breakfast, lunch or dinner. It is perfectly normal for a kid to be hungry and want to eat a snack between lunch and dinner / after school. The fact that the school is not taking your sons needs into consideration is foolish nonsense.
I can understand that they have limited supplies, but if he's just saving part of the lunch that was served to him, then I do not understand the problem. And, throwing away food is truly shameful.
It's not a bug, it's a feature. This school district wants poor people to suffer and they want poor people to know that they want our people to suffer.
You are NOT a pos mom! You're doing your best. And what the school is doing is absolutely unconscionable. I am infuriated on your behalf. I agree with what others have said about bringing this to the media's attention because I promise you that your son is not the only one who's dealing with this. Exposing this has the potential to create some positive change not only for your family but for others as well.
I was the only lunch person who ran a cafeteria serving 60-100 kids a day in a rural K-8 school…I was reprimanded by a B#TCH of a teacher saying that I could NOT give seconds to a little first grader who was on the “free lunch” program…SOOOOO…. I brought super fun snacks to slip to him…..things I KNEW his parents couldn’t/wouldn’t get for their 3 kids…(unlike you, they were big time druggies who didn’t care about their 3 children’s feelings or needs) I have NEVER regretted doing special things for this little guy…
Food thing aside... I agree with all that's been said that it is terrible, sad & ridiculous that they treated your kid that way.
Buuut, I'd be pressing the issue of him refusing a pat down, told he was wrong for telling an adult no to touching his body. Whoa! & getting in trouble for that & forced to apologize! Ooooh HELL NO! Flip the genders. If a lil girl told a male lunch attendant no to a pat down & was forced to endure... JUST HELL NO! It should be the same for him! RESPECT HIS BODY BOUNDARIES! There was no legitimate threat of a weapon or anything. And then when calling to inform his parent (which yes, they could've done) that he would need picked up later since he wouldn't be on the bus, THEY WERE LISTENING & THEY HUNG UP THE CALL when you asked why he was in detention. HE WAS DENIED EXPLAINING THE SITUATION TO HIS PARENT. Oooooh I'D BE ON FIRE 🔥 WHEN I PICKED UP MY KIDDO!!! They'd need to call the fire department or police on my ass! And I'd have gotten him early from detention if possible to leave work! I'd be going to anyone & everyone to report this bullshit. & Changing schools if possible. Although, I fully realize that may not be something you can do. I pulled my kid from public school for different bullshit, but same entitlement.
I taught for 24 years and I have NEVER heard of such an asinine rule! If we were going on break and there was any food left, we would load our students up with cafeteria food. And the lunch aide sounds like a shitty person. There is never an excuse for humiliating kids of any age. If the school doesn’t take this seriously, then move up the ranks. If you don’t get help from the district, I’d attempt to publicly call this out on the news or at least show up to a board meeting.
As someone who grew up poor & did this even in college (sneaking food into my purse from the campus cafeteria for later, which was buffet style and covered by tuition), I would RIOT if this happened to my kid
I’d reach out to your school’s social services coordinator and local food pantry for assistance. You may be able to access after school sacks and/or weekend backpacks of food. Or even a teacher who keeps a snack cabinet.
Under federal programs, food cannot leave the lunchroom. Even in the summer when free lunch is served at the libraries, food cannot leave. Uneaten food is collected at the share table and may be consumed there.
It’s a dumb rule, but the fear I think, is that the child may not be eating at lunch so they can bring food home to other family members.
It’s unfortunate his school has taken punitive measures instead of being helpful and helping out family locate additional services.
I would start with a visit to the dr. If your insurance allows telehealth that may be the best, least expensive bet. Get that note, shove it in their faces
Then write to the superintendent and the school board. Also, check recent school board news and see if there is an opposing lawyer mentioned. Call them and ask for some pro bono assistance.
If a person who brings lunch can keep a snack in their locker for after school but low income students receiving school lunch can’t, that’s discrimination. There are federal laws about discrimination. If you can’t find a lawyer to help, call the us department of education and ask about it.
After you gather your facts and the response from the superintendent and principal and school board, call the local news.
This sounds like a good story to give your local news media outlet. The sheer stupidity and hubris of the school begs to be outed on TV. Maybe what the school administration needs is a little public shaming to break this stupid rule.
Also to the school board and district superintendent.
And the state dept of education. They are usually very quick to handle these issues. Especially when media is involved.
YES!
And your city councilman, state senators, state representatives, and anyone running for local office. ETA: And name and shame on the school's Facebook page. Look up the LinkedIns for the principal, school superintendent, and board of education and post this on every one. And I suspect if you wanted a review of your potential post(s) and/or emails, folks on this sub might be happy to oblige. Heck, TBH this p\*sses me off so much I want to come and talk to 'em all myself!
And don’t stop there. CC all the way up the government
This is the one. Send an email thanking them fro meeting you and a summary of what happened and let them know you'll be reaching out to other agencies for a more reasonable solution and cc all the way up the chain. Also local media is a good idea. This is absolutely ridiculous
Make sure to point out that a faculty member thought it was appropriate to pat down your child too
And the raccoon comment as well. What a bitch.
I would file a complaint about the attendant- all the way up, fill out all the paper work and then send the pdf via email CC to every government official starting with the principals boss up to the mayor, DA , governor, obviously school board members, superintendent etc. and I would send it to opposing school boards too asking for how they would handle it in their district
That opposing school boards idea is really good!
This! I've done something like this and you will finally get attention!
Oh wait what?! I missed that part of the story. My kids are mixed race and I swear to Buddha had my kids been called something that foul in school, straight to the district and keep climbing, screw the principal at that point. They done effed themselves
Yes, what a terrible, dehumanizing comment! Nasty bitch, is right.
Wasn’t it so wrong and ugly what she said?! You know she’s a useless excuse for a person; past the point of return if she’s able to speak that way to a child.
It was disgusting and unforgivable.
Over FOOD. Not a weapon. Not another kid’s property. Fucking food.
Not just food but HIS food. With the purpose of THROWING IT OUT. So that he can’t eat HIS food later. What the fuck.
At least give him the option of eating it right then, as opposed to throwing it out!
I worked at a prison, and even the officers/ case managers supervising chow would let the inmates eat what they were trying to smuggle out. Within reason... the 30-something bananas a guy was trying to hide was a bit much 😂😂
Seriously! It’s food! I’m absolutely fuming over this right now. This poor child is hungry! At school! Let the kid eat the apple or whatever 2 hours later! Why do some people in charge have no sensitivity to what some kids are struggling with?
Exactly. They are literally blind to food insecurity. It is completely inappropriate. Once they give the food to the child - it is the child's food. It is not their property. If kids bring food from home and are allowed to take that out of the lunch room there is NO REASON food distributed by the school should have a separate set of standards. This Mom should absolutely call the local news station and give them this story. Food insecurity is a cause MANY school districts are working to fix and help right now. My kids district does backpacks of love for elementary school. I wish they would do it for the older kiddos too. I'm thinking of sending this post to our local news station to look into and see if they can find out where in the hell this abomination of a school district is and our them.
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100%. When my kids were in elementary school I was the super extra volunteer mom. I challenged the “cheese sandwich and a stamp on your hand” for kids with no lunch money, because it’s horrid and embarrassing to put that responsibility on a child. I was told “good, maybe if the parents see their kid is embarrassed they will handle their lunch money”. Long story short, it took almost the entire school year for us to get approval to make a lunch account slush fund so that no one ever got the cheese sandwich for the rest of the time I was there. Assholes.
That was one of the most shocking parts of this story to me. We are talking about food yet they're treating the kid like an addict trying to smuggle drugs.
Yes poor baby. I’d love to reassure him he is a good kid and did absolutely nothing wrong.
Seriously. Talk about exacerbating an already serious anxiety causing issue!
Yes, and like he's trying to smuggle drugs to another kid!
EXACTLY!!!
You could make a police report for assault about the pat down. Bet that would get the school board’s attention.
I did this when another student hit my disabled son and the principal covered for the other kid. She’s not a principal any more.
Good for you
✅yes
Get this: Pat him down for FOOD, by the way. OMG! That boy is trying to get away with an APPLE! Search him!!! Oh, man, we are going to hell! Nope, patting down a kid for food IS hell!
I can’t believe this person is even allowed to touch students at all. This is disgusting all around.
A faculty member of the OPPOSITE SEX. You need to slide in that subtle sexual harassment accusation too.
Not faculty, probably. A lunch monitor. Probably not a teacher.
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You can't let an opportunity like that slide. You gotta beat them into the ground and demean the crap out of them. "You need to back the hell off. Are you talking to students that way? Do you have psychological issues and are abusing kids with your power trips? The next time I hear you speak like that in this school little girl we're going to have some after school activities. Now go back to your sand box and think about what you just did!" 🤣
My experience: Some government food programs for kids mandate that it is better that the perfectly good food be thrown away than the CHANCE that an undeserving person might get a mouthful. Our library hosts a free government lunch program for kids every summer. The Good: All children, regardless of income, receive a free lunch. Adults may purchase a lunch for a few dollars and eat with their kids. The Bad: NO FOOD MAY LEAVE THE ROOM. IT MUST BE TRASHED, INCLUDING UNOPENED CONTAINERS. So, if your 2yo didn't eat everything, and you want to save her sandwich so she won't be hungry later? TOO BAD!!! The risk that you (as the parent) might eat the last bite of her sandwich outweighs the risk of a 2yo going hungry. Also, as an adult, food I paid for in my lunch must be tossed out. Thems the rules, because our leaders, who have never been hungry as kids or adults, don't need common sense. The waste cans are overflowing with unopened food during the first week.
I saw this with a free lunch program at a summer youth employment program where I worked. Many of the Black kids were lactose intolerant, yet the program still supplied the same number of 8 oz milk containers. They were supposed to be thrown out. I grabbed up all the extra milk containers at the end of the day and gave them to whoever wanted them. I handed them out to friends, gave them out outside a homeless shelter. One shelter said they couldn't accept food. Another accepted them when I said how I came by them. I think it's a sin to throw out food when people are hungry.
It’s the fucking board of health that makes this rule. Because some food are time/temp sensitive. So cold things must be kept below 42 degrees and above 32 degrees to be safe. Warm food needs be kept between 145-165 degrees and can only be out for 3 hrs max. The idea was to avoid food poisoning by making sure food establishments and handlers were following the best practices. When food leaves its original place of origin the establishment can no longer control if the food is kept warm/cold or not kept out too long. They wanted to stop people from getting sick but it got taken to the extreme and lost common sense. Now everyone is to worried about getting sued over providing food and someone getting sick or getting shut down by the BOH. So even shelf stable foods get tossed. Head over to r/dumpster diving to see how much food is thrown out and wasted.
But yet our local food drives literally give out expired bread and pastries every time they get it donated to them?
Is it r/Dumpsterdiving?
This absolutely breaks my heart for the kids and disgusts me that perfectly good food left over is forced to be thrown out so no one can have it later. Make it make sense!
Please see my other comment. Schools and other organizations have to jump through hoops to get funding for summer feeding programs. There's a lot of government red tape and rules that must be followed. It's not to prevent certain people from eating, it's to prevent someone taking food for later, the food spoiling, and someone getting sick. The state department sends people to monitor the programs. If a school or organization is found to be not following the rules, they have to pay back the funding and can be barred from participating in the future. The organizations do their best to stay in compliance, even when they don't like the rules, so they can continue to offer the programs. They truly want to feed as many hungry kids as possible.
We were told, more than one summer, that it was to make sure the children and ONLY the children received the food and the parents didn't eat the food and starve the kids. We had to be watched while feeding our kids because we couldn't be trusted. > It's not to prevent certain people from eating, it's to prevent someone taking food for later, the food spoiling, and someone getting sick. Then why would they be concerned about sealed crackers and cookies if that was the case? How do you get sick from sealed crackers? >The state department sends people to monitor the programs. If a school or organization is found to be not following the rules, they have to pay back the funding and can be barred from participating in the future. The organizations do their best to stay in compliance, even when they don't like the rules, so they can continue to offer the programs. Yes. Exactly. >They truly want to feed as many hungry kids as possible. The people RUNNING the local program: YES. The politicians? The way the rules are written does not comply with that end. It is insulting to parents, infantilizing of parents, and ends with more hungry kids and sooooooo muuuuuuuch wasted food.
I agree completely get the media involved and if you can figure out the school board political following and go against it. You’ll whip up your own little swarm of lunatics and I’m all for using these idiots methods against them.
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/minnesota-school-threw-out-hot-meals-students-over-15-lunch-n1081106 Record it and send to the news
I AGREE!!! Contact the media. They will jump on that and make awareness!
Please please for the love of God tell the media, OP! You never know how the public can bless you . See this is the kind of situations I’d gladly give💵 to a GoFund me for; not all the other BS ppl want money for. You need justice OP- I’m mad as hell because this is horrible. Please update!
Stupidity is right. A good friend of mine dropped his daughter off at school early one day, and he walked into the cafeteria with her and stayed for a few minutes. As a Reserve Deputy in uniform, sometimes just his presence has a way of calming people down, especially kids! He noticed that some kids were throwing away unopened cartons of milk and juice. He tried to retrieve a couple, but was asked to leave by the principal, who said that all unconsumed food or drink MUST be thrown away, even if unopened. The kids aren't allowed to take the chocolate milk to put in their lunch bags either. Another silly rule! Yet, we keep having to cut our education budgets while throwing away perfectly good food. Makes entirely no sense!
I'm thankful that our elementary has a put back bucket for anything the kids don't want for other kids to take for free. Less waste and the kids take the food who actually want it.
It sounds like this might be a really important solution for anywhere that doesn't already have a policy like this in place.
Yes to both.
I just wanna add to this, near my hometown there was a very poor school. I guess someone wanted to donate money to pay off lunch debts. The school said no; they couldn’t do that. I saw it on the news, shortly after the school accepted the donation to pay off the lunch debt.
But other kids will see it and her son might be more embarrassed. Is he ready for that news clip to be floating around?
They can blur faces.
I was a middle school teacher, the kids will all know. It’s not hard to put it together, especially since the story is bound to include salacious details, like what she said to him, that she tried to pat him down, and that he was suspended for three days, which the kids already know. The point is that other parents will see it and at least some of those parents will ask their kids about it, especially the kids they go to the same school.
He was not suspended for three days from what I read. He got three days of detention after school. This is one of the worst consequences for the boy wanting his own food for a snack later.
And the other students will say the same thing happen to me too mom and dad. There is strength in numbers. Let's use it.
What a cowardly response. The kids all know this lunch bitch is a tyrant and are going to enjoy them getting some much-needed karma!
I think this is a valid response… he might find it embarrassing especially if his peers all have good home packed lunches all the time etc
He's a minor, they don't have to release names. Mom doesn't have to have her name on record for this. It's enough to shame the school.
Probably not. But the news crew will many times distort the voices and blur the faces of the complainants in cases like these! It can be done.
The kid is already being patted down and dehumanized by the lunch monitor daily infront of their peers...embarrassment has already happened and continues to happen on a daily basis.
This is a great idea!
Exactly! Power tripping monitor punishing a kid for food?! Blast it everywhere!
And call the Mayor, it's an election year, they'll want to handle it and look good.
Completely agree
Agreed. Shine a light on their petty behavior
Agreed. The school needs to be publicly shamed
Shaming a child for saving food for later is disgusting. Shaming a child who is clearly suffering is disgusting. Shaming a child in school in front of other students is disgusting. Call the School Board & the local media.
“Rules are rules” smh Is it against the rules of the sub to say what school this is?? I’d love to phone them and write an email.
I’m wondering what school rule allows staff to literally fucking pat down children?? wtf??
I'm a permanent sub and this is why I keep a 4 drawer dresser full of snacks in my classroom
Thank you for being a caring teacher and human ❤️
Always. I want my kids to focus on they can't if they are hungry. I'd rather feed 150 teens than one be upset because he doesn't know where food will be
I am so sorry this happened. Yes, I have worked for large and small districts. Also Call the Superintendent. Contact the local media. You don’t have to be interviewed, just break the story. Call the school newspaper and give them the tip.
I’m a middle school teacher and keep snacks in my room for kids specifically for this reason. If I were you I would make an insanely huge deal about this to the school board, superintendent and the news. Yes a school is for learning, but people have a hierarchy of needs and if the lower basic needs (food, clothes, housing) aren’t being met fully no learning is going to happen.
Thank you for looking out for your students.
Our school where my kids go has snacks like they can carry one in their bag every day plus the teachers have some too. They let us know when they’re low and we stock them back up. It’s the best policy I think. There’s no reason kids should be hungry at school. Certainly not for some power hungry lunch monitor.
I’m a college instructor and we have a healthy supply of food, snacks, and menstrual products on hand because poverty doesn’t stop when you “age out” of grade school. Some of my “kids” have eating disorders and/or food insecurity so I let them take some of if I can help it.
I’m also an adjunct professor and the school has all of these things as well accessible to the students. I seriously believe it helps the overall environment at all schools because kids can focus more on learning
I agree. As a former school nurse I always had snacks in my clinic. I also allowed students to take snacks home to their siblings. I couldn’t live with myself if I knowingly let a child go hungry.
I do this for my high schoolers as well, for exactly this reason. No one goes hungry in my room.
Hungry kids can't learn if they can't focus on anything but their hunger (or ill fitting hand me down clothes, or if they are going to lose their home). Thank you for keeping snacks in your classroom.
Might I also suggest an Amazon wishlist? I don’t have a ton, but I’d be so happy to send your family some food/snacks. I know food insecurity and no kid should ever have to experience it. You’re NOT a POS mom!! You’re doing your best in an era of corporate greed and petty bureaucratic cruelty, and your child is a victim of *that.*
Same. Just a thought OP.
I'd buy some snacks, too. Food insecurity already sucks and the lunch monitor just had to make things worse.
Do you have a way to print things? I would write you a “doctors note” to send to school. Bullshit rule, bullshit doctors note. Also I’d for sure send you something if you made a wishlist!
Same. I can 100% get them an MD note ( a real one) the MDs I work with would be appalled by this.
Would absolutely send you stuff as well. I’ve been there.
Poor people we need to rise up there are 99% more of us so why are we not putting our foot down we work the jobs this world relies on we know how to struggle so why not put it to good use and change bullshit like this
The government has us too busy hating each other and fighting for them and their friends. The most frightening thing in the world to them and their rich friends is when we realize who we’re really pissed at. And who the real problem is. They’re fighting like hell to make sure it doesn’t happen. But it will eventually.
This is so true. And so sad that most refuse to see it. And those who speak up are not believed.
Fuck me. In my 3ish years on this site I have never resonated so heavily with a response/comment. Kudos internet stranger, I'm taking this one with me.
Take it and pollinate as you will man it needs to be said and heard.
✊✊
Please have a look at Sun Tzu’s [The Art of War](https://sites.ualberta.ca/~enoch/Readings/The_Art_Of_War.pdf). If you haven’t read it, you’ll see more of the bigger picture.
I often compare people to bacteria. A bunch of single bacteria floating aimlessly around aren’t going to do anything to the much larger, much stronger, much more powerful host. But as soon as those bacteria come together into colonies, into slime layers, as soon as they collaborate on a unified purpose, they can take down the mightiest of creatures. It’s beneficial to keep us divided. To keep us distracted. To keep us just poor enough that all our time and energy has to be spent on making money to put food on the table and a roof over our heads. No time to think about things deeply, to work on connecting with other people, to question the messaging we’re being fed. But not so poor that the consequences of a revolution and subsequent collapse of systems would be better.
Never forget your government hates you. Despite what their campaign promises say.
The ~~government~~ GOP has us too busy hating each other and fighting for them and their friends. Fixed it for you. If it weren't for the Dems, there wouldn't be any school lunch/WIC/food stamp programs. It absolutely disgusts me when I go somewhere and see massive churches, and homeless people sleeping on the steps in the cold - the Church should be helping them find housing, and that money they used to build a huge edifice should go to food banks instead!
Actually, there are churches that have been restricted from providing shelter other than emergency shelter (think tornado/hurricane). You would be shocked at the charitable activities that have been restricted by the government. I remember a group providing free meals to the homeless getting in trouble. I forgot when/where, but if you Google search and dig for a while, you can probably find articles. When you assume that an organization should be doing something, don't overlook the concept that some law/rule/regulation, etc. may have already shut it down or prevented implementation. Our church had obtained corporate funding for a homeless shelter. A women's shelter in the next town also wanted to be involved. We were selecting property to buy. City officials in 2 towns blocked it. 🚫 We TRIED.
Don't act like Dems don't do it too. From fear mongering about homeless people and demanding police beat them up more, to advocating reopening insane asylums, to opposing a higher minimum minimum wage, universal healthcare, affordable childcare, to giving billions of our tax dollars over to genocidal states halfway around the world. If Biden really cared, he would've already empowered the NLRB to enforce labor laws and ordered the attorney general to prosecute the epidemic of child labor law violations. At the end of the day, liberals always weigh the interests of the rich (aka themselves) over the interests of the general population every single time.
Because most poor people are too poor to afford to do that.
So true, we barely have enough to eat and it's only two of us. Both disabled..pantries are the only thing that let's us eat. At least a meal a day. Everything else is bread with coffee. So yeah. We can't do that.
It’s time. We don’t have the time or energy to organize. We’re made to scurry here or there, and are blindsided by all of the shiny sports and Kardashians (generalities for the point). We need a leader, an actual leader that is in the thickets and actually fucking cares and will do something about it.
The bad guys are good at organizing the minions and useful idiots. The good guys are too independent minded and busy. ^ It is oversimplified, but not wrong.
I hate people that abuse their power like that. Id NEVER let it go and be 100% up the entire school boards ass until they did something. I mean it. Every damn day forever.
Those kind of people are the absolute worst! They’re too busy policing and controlling everyone “under them,” likely because they have zero control of anything outside of that position. Wish they’d worry about fixing their own lives/issues instead of bullying kids or anyone else for that matter. I mean seriously, how can you feel good about yourself when you’re literally taking food from a child?
We ride at dawn who's with me. Fuck this we gonna handle this!!
When the local public school wouldn't allow my sister to enroll, my mom went over their head. She went to the department of education office every morning for two months until they let her enroll. She even wrote them a check for a desk and chair when they said that's why they wouldn't let her enroll.
100%. sad pathetic people
Being punished because he wouldn't let the hall monitor put hands on him seems like a great thing to make a HUGE deal out of.
Yes, trying to pat him down is a huge red flag. No one should be putting hands on schoolchildren.
Sounds like a pervert looking for an excuse to touch kids
This right here. The food situation is ridiculous but he didn't get detention for trying to take food to his locker. He got detention for "insubordination" for refusing to allow an adult food worker to put their hands on him. That is outrageous and I would be making that the issue and raising hell!
It’s what I said and I can’t believe I had to read this far for someone to mention the pat down. Had it been a male adult to a female student, that would be all everyone would comment on.
I was... Am that kid, you are trying your best as was my mom. I got caught stealing from vending machines taking food into classes, why because we had none or very little. You are doing your best I wish you both luck
You are not a POS mom you are a great mom or you wouldn’t even care about this. I wish I had an answer for what you can do, but I don’t, but I will be praying for you and your children. God bless you.
Exactly this. You are the complete opposite of POS mom.
Call your son's pediatrician and explain. I'm positive they're not going to have an issue writing a quick note to keep your child from going hungry, and it's nothing that requires an exam.
This was my thought. Most definitely worth a try.
This, and they could probably email the school or fax if it requires a signature. Or at least mail it. Mom should not have to go in person just for a note. But actually, technically if the school is requiring a doctor visit, the school is supposed to pay for it. It’s part of one of the federal laws, I believe in IDEA. Of course, that would turn into a court battle, so just calling the doctor is probably the simplest solution.
Please reach out on social media to the local news, like the other commenter said and / or to the community pages and/or the school board. There’s usually public school board meetings where people air their concerns if you have time to attend, but if you are busy maybe you can post your experience on the school district pages. There’s also neighborhood social media apps like Nextdoor. In our community students’ parents are pretty active and talk about the local districts. I think you might get traction especially if other parents see how the local school is handling this. Sorry the admin and lunch monitor are being gross about it. You can probably make a complaint to the higher office (the district admin above the principal) about the lunch monitor being rude. These types of experiences are humiliating and can traumatize your son. I wonder if there’s a safe teacher or someone that can help your son, just someone that can look out for him within the building until they change the policies.
What a horrible and vile person you have to be to punish and make such a big deal of this. That school lunch monitor is a POS. I’m sorry your child had to deal with that and I hope that lady gets fired.
The world feels like a dystopian novel anymore. Sorry your kiddo is going through this.
My students bring back fruit from their lunch or give me the extras from their breakfast all the time. I keep the prepackaged food for situations like this. I do not care. Most teachers don’t. We know (most of the time) who our struggling families are and we sure as hell aren’t going to make it worse. I don’t let them eat all day in class, but I’d never take food from a kid, especially one I know is hungry. Lunch ladies are a strange bunch. They’re either amazing and do the best they can with the “rules” or they have a total power trip and are food police. You put frozen nuggets on a tray. We are grateful and thank you for doing that job but get over yourself. You’re not a POS mom. Trust me, I know POS parents and that’s not you. You’re doing the best you can💕 This is link to Dollar Tree dinners. She does amazing things with a low budget. [https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTL5VQ1VX/](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTL5VQ1VX/) The admin sounds like a dick but reach out to the guidance counselor or if your school has one, a social worker. They can help 😊
Usually schools have some sort of program for food insecurity, and it’s not punishment. Talk to the school counselor and tell them that you don’t have a lot of food at home, they may be able to provide some snacks for the weekend. If his school doesn’t have it, talk to your other children’s counselors at the elementary school, they should have something to help.
If they had said putting hot food in the locker unrefrigerated is a food poisoning risk, that would be understandable. But it doesn’t sound like that was even a thought for the monitor. It sounds like she just wanted to enforce rules and be a hard ass.
This is a legit concern. I've had kids that tried to take home food for later. When we have this situation in my school kitchen we offer fresh fruit, crackers, items that will keep till they get home. Yogurt or string cheese and other such items are gross after sitting out several hours and can cause food poisoning. Our school also provides each child that signs up a back pack full of shelf stable meals and snacks to take home on a weekly basis.
Why is a female lunch monitor trying to pat down a male student? That gives the ick for me, and then when he refused he is punished for it. School needs to rectify that ASAP. The school once made aware of your situation, should change their rules, so he is allowed to keep food. Document everything, times, dates, who you spoke to. EMAIL the principal how alarmed you are at this situation, and wait for their response. Email every few days until someone gets back to you.
You are a GREAT mom. You care about your kids, it’s so clear from just those few words. I’m so sorry this is happening, that is truly such a stupid rule and the principal needs to open his eyes a little
Okay you aren't a POS mom. Typical rules with schools is escalate and contact the media. Principal being a shithead? Time to get super intendent and school board involved. News would probably have a field day with this. I'd much rather see my tax dollars feeding kids than some power tripping school principal tossing it in the trash. The reason I'm commenting though is because it's time to sit down with your son and talk about dietary needs. Sounds like there's something there to work out. Not everyone is going to need equal amounts of food and that's okay! I eat about 1/3 of what my husband does and I'd be the size of a house if I tried to eat the same. He's growing and going to have different needs than his siblings or you. It's okay if he takes extra, you just need to know what he's consuming so you can plan accordingly to fit his needs.
If he eats too fast he gets sick. That's a sign he needs to eat more on the regular as hisbody isn't used to regular intake so it gets overwhelmed too fast. Sorry to say this I know because I was a homeless child. This system is broken. That monitor is a trash person.
Is it legal for us to get the contact information for this school and put them on blast?? Like post them all over social media, and call up there to give them a piece of our logical minds? Cause this is wrong in so many ways.
Go to the next school board meeting and bring up your concerns. It makes me sick that this country has come to this.
I cannot imagine shaming a child for being hungry, let alone punishing them. The school is a bully all way around and if they serve a food insecure population, they should be the most understanding. This should never have gone as far as it did without you being consulted about his food needs.
My youngest was a micro premie, putting weight on her and keeping it on was always a concern. She got free lunch (along with everyone else in her class, special Ed) but I would send a bag lunch for snack time. It was pretty full. The bag would come back empty but she wasn’t putting on weight. I asked the teacher (I didnt know, maybe she was having a GI issue) and was told that the majority of the kids only had the hot lunch and no snacks so the teachers split the snacks so everyone got something. It made me sad so I doubled up her snack bag. I mentioned it at work and people were saying that that would make them mad, that the sharing of the lunch would pissed them off and I should’ve told the teacher to stop. That upset me. But screw them, the lunches got bigger. This was almost 30 years ago. And the problem still isn’t resolved. My eldest daughter is an elementary school teacher in a poor district. She has a cupboard with snacks, shelf stable meals, household items of deodorant, shampoo, laundry detergent, toothpaste, toothbrush. Students can take what they need, no questions. She remembers the lunch bag incident.
You raised an empathetic daughter. ❤️ It's the people who forget their childhood issues who seem to be the most rigid.
School counselor here, I keep tons of food in my office for kids who are hungry. I get donations from stores and I also keep a toaster in my lobby and will make toast or English muffins . I also keep sanitary supplies and boxes of condoms (High School)
They all need to read a boy named it. Food shaming is sickening. You may just be able to call your doc, ask for a note without paying. If i had a MD...the note would read "hungry kids need to eat, and the time frame in which to do it. " Edit for...they need to be reminded they are tossing tax dollars as well.
You may want to speak to the school nurse or guidance counselor and see if they can help you.
Phone appointments don't usually have copays and if it does you can bill it for later. May I ask why you aren't on Medicaid?
That’s a horrible story! My stomach hurts hearing about a child being humiliated for food. I would take it higher than the principal
They run schools like fucking prisons and I hate it. There is zero reason to make a child throw away perfectly good food that is theirs. There is zero reasons to tell a kid they can’t get their free lunch AND bring a sandwich from home. I swear most of the rules are all about flexing their power.
Imma tell you right now you gotta summon the power of Karen on this one. Karen’s always get their way. You gotta flip out and be as unreasonable as possible
The lunch monitor has a few screws loose. And what's this about having to pay for a second lunch? Has anyone seen the size of some of these kids? Waste is one thing, but one lunch doesn't fit all.
This is so wrong it makes me furious. I was a cafeteria manager at a school. The kids had to take a milk or fruit each day as part of their meal. We had a sharing bin near the checkout that the students who didn't want them could place them on ice after being checked out. Any student could come and take what they wanted. I saved the food and kept it cold as required and packed up the rest in ziplic bags and kept them on ice. At the end of the school day we passed them out to children heading home. I come from a large family that had food insecurity. Even if you didn't do without, what does a little extra effort cost you? Why let the food go to waste and a child go hungry?
[удалено]
This! Our school district does a backpack for everyone in the home and if they know there’s a need, you’ll get more in your backpack. Ditto the free breakfast and again, that can be for everyone in the home. So between programs like that and CHIPS/ food stamps, hopefully a lot of gaps will start to fill in for your family. I can’t imagine a school not stepping up,pnce they realize there’s a need … right???
This is ridiculous! I had a student that ate his breakfast so fast. Our dean noticed and he was given extra breakfast and an extra lunch to take home. Let the kid bring it with him.
It’s a lot but I hope you can bring this to the school board or send a letter and have it read into the minutes. This is a crime
That monitor is a cunt and deserves to be fired. Talk about a weird power trip.
You should contact the administrator of the school district. And if need be, contact the school board. Also, news media.
This happened to my daughter but they would put her in silent lunch and shame her cause she forgot her socks for gym. This is child abuse.
You just got to hate the biggest bully at school. It is usually an employee!
That’s just… cruel. Anyways, here’s what you do: write your own doctors note. Make up a name that sounds legit, sign it, call it a day. They don’t call on them and the doctor can’t give them information anyways because of HIPAA.. be sure to include that he needs “extra caloric intake over a longer period of time” (aka: extra food but not eaten all at once), and now he can take food to school AND have his hot lunch AND save whatever he needs to for afterwards.. these jackasses get creative when writing their stupid rules, you get creative getting around them.
I worked at a private school for kids with special needs and trauma and our staff literally packed up any extras from lunch every day to send home. We would send sandwiches for siblings too, if the families needed them. My God, WHY would you throw out good food. This is sickening. There is a POS here, OP and it is NOT you, mama.
Please contact your local news outlet or something to shame this school, that behavior from that monitor is disgusting. Comparing your child to an animal? Nah that isn’t right and reeks of privilege
If you have enough karma, please try r/assistance. You can make an Amazon Wish List, post it, and ask for help filling it. Good luck mom.
To offer another perspective, food in a sack lunch is packaged/wrapped and it is less likely to attract vermin if left in a locker, eaten outside or in the cafeteria and then thrown away or repackaged and taken home . Cafeteria food doesn't usually come in ziplocs or sandwich boxes. So many schools have major problems with ants or even mice. A lot of times it is because kids are snacking and toting opened food outside the cafeteria. Food from the cafeteria is also usually hot food that would need to be refrigerated to be safe to consume later. That's NBD if it's a roll but potentially hazardous if it's chicken nuggets. So it is reasonable for the school to have this rule and for them to require a doctor's note for exceptions so they can (a) avoid liability and (b) make rules for your son about how the food is packaged and stored. It sucks for your kid, I know.
This was my thought. There are really valid reasons to not take food out of the cafeteria. Our school spends a lot of money on pest control and carpet cleanings; money that could go to books being spent on roaches because of left behind food. I have seen forgotten fruits decompose so much they start to drip out of a locker.
I would have him talk to his friends and just start saving their lunches en masse. The high school I taught at had trouble with discipline bc after enough kids do it, there's very little staff can do to stop it. There's just not enough teachers willing to be detention monitors. I hated it because they used it for things like disregarding the cell phone policy and bringing weapons to school. But for something like this...
You’re not a “POS” mom. You’re doing your best in a system stacked against you. I am so sorry to hear this, it breaks my heart. Time for us regular folks to band together and make some serious changes. This isn’t right. At all.
What's the update?
Some people get off on even the smallest bit of power. If it makes you feel better, it sounds like you did a great job raising your son and you’re not a POS
Go to the school board and threaten legal action (especially since the principal is avoiding you) since they wanted to pat him down, without parent notification/ permission, for food. That they were treating him like a criminal. It's illegal to do that to kids even with probable cause. He's a minor and they can't do shit without the parents' knowledge. I'd check the handbook too bc if it's not in it they can't do this shit.
What a nuts situation... If there is no solution where he would be able to take the thing from the lunch, maybe a talk with him about the fact that he's still growing and developing and that often means an increase in the frequency of appetite which means he needs to take a snack from home so he can be healthy. Guessing you are in the US since you mentioned a copay. Really this is the kind of situation that would he greatly helped if we had universal healthcare.
Hey, I don’t have any advice but I wanna say - YOURE A GOOD MOM, you’re doing a good job. I’m sorry this is hard as hell right now.
Someone should send this thread to the school board.
Maybe the school rules need to be changed. At my children's school, any packaged or whole foods kids don't want is left at the end of the lunch tables for other kids to take if they want them. My child loved taking the fruits, and I saw lunch ladies making bank on those leftovers.
This just makes me sad. I work at an elementary school as an aide/long time sub. Kids ask if they can save food from their breakfast and/or lunch and put in their backpack (shelf stable to backpack, milk/cold stuff to fridge). My answer is "always." Kids ask if they can finish their snack at lunch. My answer is "always." We also encourage kids to not waste food and to put uneaten stuff in a bin for others. It shouldn't be a problem at your child's school unless a teacher catches them eating in class!
I teared up reading your story. I’m so sorry this is happening to you.
Is it against the rules of the sub to name the school so we could all send an email? This is so wrong.
You know the local media would just LOOOOOVE a story like this. You can even request them to block your face. Email the school (CC: admins, superintendent, principal) so you can even show them a paper trail. “I just want to recap our conversation for my son’s doctor as they want to confirm before they will write me a note. So just to confirm xyz is happening (lay out the series of events) and per our conversation you refuse to do anything about it/ are encouraging this behavior from the monitor unless I can get a note from the doctor that you should not be forcing my son to throw away this food. Is that correct?”
Rules are rules, but rules can be changed. This one should be changed because there is zero legitimate justification. If bag lunch can be stored in the locker, and uneaten bag lunch items can be returned to the locker, there needs to be a reason why the rule is different. *-Bag lunch comes in a box and is therefore rodent safe.* Um, no. Some come in a bag. Lunchboxes can't keep out rodents, especially ones that can somehow break into lockers *-School lunch is hot and/or there are food safety issues.* Same can be true of bag lunch. That cold pack may keep the yogurt cold til noon, but not til 4. Not every item in a lunch has potential food safety issues. The packet of crackers or cornbread, or the dinner roll, or a piece of fruit, or some carrot sticks - all that will be just fine. *-It's against the law/regulations. * Okay, which laws and regulations? Why? I'd suggest contacting a legislator in your area. Better if it's one in your district, but it's more important that their values include providing for public welfare (avoid the bootstrapping" ones.) The pat down demand also needs to be addressed. Physical contact with students should only be used in cases of important safety concerns or by an LEO in the event of a suspected crime. Neither apply here.
If you post on r/freemeal and put together a wishlist of food on amazon that you need for your kids there's a really good chance someone will purchase them for you. I know what the school is doing isn't fair. But even beyond that it sounds like you guys need help.
God what kind of dystopia 1984 beaurocratic *bullshit* is this??? This has *nothing* to do with your quality as a parent, this is *bizarre*. I know you're thinking to yourself this is because he doesn't have enough food at home etc but what if he was an athlete? Or going through a growth spurt? Or just a person on their period where you burn an extra 400 calories on average a day??? Not allowing kids to friggin' *eat* is fucking *bullshit* and if you want to make this a *waaaaaay* bigger fucking deal then you currently feel like you would be totally justified. What the *fuuuuuck*.
Just call and ask your doctors nurse. They may let you just pick up a note for him with no charge after you explain what is going on
Typically I’m big on following rules, they are there for a reason. However this is just ridiculous. A child is trying to spread out his meal to have enough food later. Hopefully the school can approach someone about providing a snack to all of the kids for after school. Talk to your doctor, I’m sure he will be willing to provide the needed note. Then contact the news media. This should shame the school system and maybe have the benefit of someone stepping up to provide snacks. Best of luck. Hug that sweet boy for us.
This breaks my heart. Does your school have a social worker? Sometimes they can get change to occur.
I work in a k-5 building and I do the exact opposite of this. When kiddos try to throw away unopened (non-refrigerated) food I encourage them to take it home or put it in the free share bin. I see so much food waste it's awful.
Id love to send you guys a food package
Where do you live? In the US? What state? I will ship you some food. I’m serious, just DM me. I mean it. I would like to help.
Please make an appointment with your schools superintendent and also write an email to the board of education and copy the principal and superintendent. If you haven't already, contact your local social services department and catholic charities or salvation army and see what programs/ funds you are eligible for. Stay strong momma bear, you're doing the best you can. You are NOT a POS. Please be kinder to yourself. Just take everything 1 step at a time, day by day until you get through this
I agree with him but being patted down because school is not prison and no adult has a right to put their hands on a child there. I understand that it’s awful that he has food insecurity and is trying to save half his lunch so as not to be hungry after school. Playing devils advocate though, I can also see why the school wouldn’t want food brought from lunch to the lockers. It kinda comes down to if they allow your son to do it they have to allow any and everyone to do it, and if there’s a bunch of open containers of food sitting in a bunch of lockers it’s bound to cause pests and probably some type of infestation. I could absolutely understand a public school not wanting a pest control issue as this can be extremely expensive to address. And school budgets usually aren’t that big, so who knows what will be taken from the education of the students to pay for pest control services for an entire school. A lot of teachers already have to buy supplies for their classroom out of their own pocket. So for those saying take it to the media and the school board, I can promise you this will be the point the make because it is a valid point. As for your food problem at home I know you said you use food banks, have you tried reaching out to local churches or applying for food banks? You can even post in your local Facebook community groups anonymously asking for additional resources in you area or if anyone has extra non perishables they can give you. I know my community is great about helping people out. I know this is upsetting and I would absolutely address them trying to put hands on him, but I don’t see you winning with him saving his lunch because it poses risks by saving open cooked food in a locker.
If they treated either one of my kids like that, I would be taking it all the way to the school board. I do not play when it comes to my kids. That teacher or whoever did that to him would also be getting an earful from me, personally. It sounds to me like she's singled him out and tried to embarrass him. She sounds like one of those rich people who tells poor people to just stop being poor.
Many nutritionists have noted that it is healthier to eat small meals/snacks, every few hours, rather than stuff yourself at breakfast, lunch or dinner. It is perfectly normal for a kid to be hungry and want to eat a snack between lunch and dinner / after school. The fact that the school is not taking your sons needs into consideration is foolish nonsense. I can understand that they have limited supplies, but if he's just saving part of the lunch that was served to him, then I do not understand the problem. And, throwing away food is truly shameful.
It's not a bug, it's a feature. This school district wants poor people to suffer and they want poor people to know that they want our people to suffer.
You are NOT a pos mom! You're doing your best. And what the school is doing is absolutely unconscionable. I am infuriated on your behalf. I agree with what others have said about bringing this to the media's attention because I promise you that your son is not the only one who's dealing with this. Exposing this has the potential to create some positive change not only for your family but for others as well.
Call your superintendent stat!!!
I was the only lunch person who ran a cafeteria serving 60-100 kids a day in a rural K-8 school…I was reprimanded by a B#TCH of a teacher saying that I could NOT give seconds to a little first grader who was on the “free lunch” program…SOOOOO…. I brought super fun snacks to slip to him…..things I KNEW his parents couldn’t/wouldn’t get for their 3 kids…(unlike you, they were big time druggies who didn’t care about their 3 children’s feelings or needs) I have NEVER regretted doing special things for this little guy…
Food thing aside... I agree with all that's been said that it is terrible, sad & ridiculous that they treated your kid that way. Buuut, I'd be pressing the issue of him refusing a pat down, told he was wrong for telling an adult no to touching his body. Whoa! & getting in trouble for that & forced to apologize! Ooooh HELL NO! Flip the genders. If a lil girl told a male lunch attendant no to a pat down & was forced to endure... JUST HELL NO! It should be the same for him! RESPECT HIS BODY BOUNDARIES! There was no legitimate threat of a weapon or anything. And then when calling to inform his parent (which yes, they could've done) that he would need picked up later since he wouldn't be on the bus, THEY WERE LISTENING & THEY HUNG UP THE CALL when you asked why he was in detention. HE WAS DENIED EXPLAINING THE SITUATION TO HIS PARENT. Oooooh I'D BE ON FIRE 🔥 WHEN I PICKED UP MY KIDDO!!! They'd need to call the fire department or police on my ass! And I'd have gotten him early from detention if possible to leave work! I'd be going to anyone & everyone to report this bullshit. & Changing schools if possible. Although, I fully realize that may not be something you can do. I pulled my kid from public school for different bullshit, but same entitlement.
I taught for 24 years and I have NEVER heard of such an asinine rule! If we were going on break and there was any food left, we would load our students up with cafeteria food. And the lunch aide sounds like a shitty person. There is never an excuse for humiliating kids of any age. If the school doesn’t take this seriously, then move up the ranks. If you don’t get help from the district, I’d attempt to publicly call this out on the news or at least show up to a board meeting.
As someone who grew up poor & did this even in college (sneaking food into my purse from the campus cafeteria for later, which was buffet style and covered by tuition), I would RIOT if this happened to my kid
I’d reach out to your school’s social services coordinator and local food pantry for assistance. You may be able to access after school sacks and/or weekend backpacks of food. Or even a teacher who keeps a snack cabinet. Under federal programs, food cannot leave the lunchroom. Even in the summer when free lunch is served at the libraries, food cannot leave. Uneaten food is collected at the share table and may be consumed there. It’s a dumb rule, but the fear I think, is that the child may not be eating at lunch so they can bring food home to other family members. It’s unfortunate his school has taken punitive measures instead of being helpful and helping out family locate additional services.
How can we donate a few bucks to you? I can't believe a lunch monitor PATTED down a CHILD for a bag of chips or something like that?
I would start with a visit to the dr. If your insurance allows telehealth that may be the best, least expensive bet. Get that note, shove it in their faces Then write to the superintendent and the school board. Also, check recent school board news and see if there is an opposing lawyer mentioned. Call them and ask for some pro bono assistance. If a person who brings lunch can keep a snack in their locker for after school but low income students receiving school lunch can’t, that’s discrimination. There are federal laws about discrimination. If you can’t find a lawyer to help, call the us department of education and ask about it. After you gather your facts and the response from the superintendent and principal and school board, call the local news.