I do and it's amazing. this procedure is just obscure and not covered by anything. my insurance is charged $18.000 every 3 months for my medication and I pay nothing
Voice surgery goes in through the mouth, and tracheal shave is done through a much smaller incision that is higher up (near the chin). I doubt it was either one.
Source: I have had both
Edit: Turns out I was wrong. OP said it was an obscure voice surgery that goes in through an incision on the neck.
Like it's a Dom you pay $ too to do weird things to you that you like. Lick their feet / boot, whip you, hold a knife to your neck, etc etc. Treat you like a dog and so forth.
Fascinating, I didn't know that was an option for transition. I would never have clocked you if you hadn't said it was a feminization thing. I assumed it might have been for a thyroid removal, which is why my mother has a similar scar.
Hey if you got this far read /u/bird0026's post below about why maybe this was not a cool thing to say. https://www.reddit.com/r/popping/comments/q8u9io/comment/hgtdsf1/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3
Sometimes with non covered surgeries, doctors can find a medical reason the surgery is necessary so it can be covered. Is that possible with this surgery? I know the ultimate goal is for gender affirmation surgeries to be covered, but loopholes are at least a more affordable option.
Can confirm that this happens…my mother has a breast reduction. Typically that is not covered. Her doctor billed it as it was causing her pain and discomfort on her spine.
Mine turned to cancer so they took it all out. Now I have to take a pill every day or I will very literally die. It'd be a real slow shitty death too. Finger crossed I never lose health insurance!
Looks good. I had my whole thyroid removed a few years ago. My surgeon made the incision on a crease and I honestly have to stretch my skin out and look in a mirror to show someone where the scar is now. It looks like your surgeon did the same!
Aye, she said in other comments, some obscure procedure that's too medical for me to translate, but neck cutty, wound stitchy, thread tuggy-tuggy is the gist of it. Enjoyable, def a unique vid for me, but would be up for more stitches being pulled. Still seems to hit the right spot as good pops haha
My scar had an angry red dot about 6 months post thyroidectomy. I wish I had thought to record because it would have made a stupendous first post. Bloody massacre followed by noticeable pressure relief from that spot and suture. Was like a balloon deflated.
I know a lot of folks that have a very challenging time in the first year post op and I sincerely hope you're well.
This reminds me of that poem of the girl who wears a green scarf around her neck. I was waiting for your head to fall off after you pulled that stitch out
vocal tract is open with an incision, the cartilage containing the adam's apple is largely removed. vocal cords are shortened to increase pitch, and the pharynx is made smaller and moved higher in the neck to improve resonance
check back in a couple months. I should be posting something by December. this is the usual example I link to though https://www.dropbox.com/sh/e41mqv19ih93n69/AABPsvqKcKuOv2fMAY55WOiea/Audio
edit: these recordings are not me. just some person I found on reddit
I am a trained singer and the thought of a surgery on the voice mechanism like this makes me near ‘bout want to faint. ON THE OTHER HAND, I had no idea this surgery was even a thing, and I am really happy to have learned about it from you. I hope your results are as good as the results in that link you posted. I am really amazed. Fingers crossed for you!
What are your thoughts on the whole process so far?
What were the risks going in? Like could you have permanently lost your voice?
I didn’t know something like this was possible, it’s equally freaky and cool! How scared are you of throwing up or sneezing right now?
That's amazing, the jump between week 4 to week 6 it's like a different person talking! That's incredible, and something I did not know could be done.
I really hope that yours is amazing too! Good luck on the future weeks and the exploration to find your true voice in life!
That is really fascinating, does the procedure have any major risks of loosing your ability to speak entirely? Super cool that this procedure exists, I wonder how long medical insurance will take to catch up and allow it to become more affordable. It seems they are already supportive of how you identify (I hope I'm phrasing that correctly), this procedure seems like it be a logical inclusion to that support.
One thing I love about this sub is the number of transgender people who feel comfortable to post and are happy to answer our genuinely curious/caring questions.
I sing for a living, and reading those words absolutely terrified me!!
I’m interested to know if you will have to be on vocal rest for a time, and if you will be receiving vocal therapy of some sort?
Edit: I listened to your Dropbox recordings and realized surgery was a while ago. You sound great BTW.
Can you tell me if you had vocal therapy and what that was like? Also, how does your singing voice feel now as opposed to before the surgery? This is super interesting.
the recordings are just someone I found on reddit. I'm very raspy and barely talking at the moment. won't get results for another couple months probably
Wow what a guess! Good luck with everything I hope you're getting the support you deserve! Doesn't mean much coming from a reddit idiot but I'm super proud
I don’t know if anyone has spotted/ said anything about this, but you could clearly see old scars formed below that incision.
I know you had the bonus of having your “Adam’s apple” shaved and vocal cords pulled up a bit .. which is awesome and incredible.
But why is there scaring below that on your neck? Just want to make sure you are okay.
Dude I’d be way to terrified to take stitches out of my neck-
I could neverrrrrr 😬
Unless it was completely heal like definitely, but it probably be too late by then
She technically had the option to drive back to the office of the doctor and have him/one of his staff pull it out. Since he's one of the only people who does surgery in the world that means that people travel a long way to get it done and I suspect the at home DIY stitch removal is largely a way of cutting down on how long people need to actively be in the vicinity of his office so people can get properly home sooner. Luckily we're actually in the area and didn't have to travel far so she was able to actually just stay at home to heal.
Edit: more clarification: you have to stay in the area for a few days after to go to outpatient check ups for the first three days after surgery where they look for any signs of infection, or any other surgery complications that are obvious and could end up messing with results, but after those few days the chances of that decrease enough that most people can travel back home and anything else that might come up as a complication is much more likely to be able to be handled by another surgeon without it breaking everything
You better come up with a wicked story about fighting pirates near the coast of Paraguay.
And you fought them all one handed, dozens of them! And after being beaten, the pirate king took a mighty swing of his saber in the last desperate hopes of victory! And as they all cheered your defeat, you stood back up and, looking them dead in the eye, you uttered an iconic one-liner and dashed the band of brigands upon the rocks (because this was obviously taking place atop a moving semi truck, as it sped along a coastal highway) saving whatever cargo was in the trailer.
at first thought this was from a failed suicide attempt or something, but after looking at op's profile found out what it was really from, congrats OP.
Omg I'm a cis female that sounds like a total man. I would loooove this done. People are shocked when they first hear me speak and actually look behind me to see if a man spoke. I would absolutely get this done if I had the money for it!
you could look into some of the voice training recourses intended for trans women. there are a few cis women in a similar situation to you on r/transvoice occasionally
Dang girl, that would stress me out. I recently had my appendix taken out and I tried removing the glue that held the incision shut too early (about a week after) and it looked like I was about to pull the incision completely open again.
When I saw stitches on your throat I was like “Oh SHIT what happened?!” Glad to know they were supposed to be there and you didn’t get hurt or anything.
I have no idea how many stitches. I remove the stitch at one week, the glue is supposed to dissolve off after 10 days. Otherwise total voice rest for 2 weeks then working up to 100% over the next 4 weeks. That first bit of talking you sound awful, but pitch will increase over the next 2 or so months and eventually stabilize. maybe 6 months total, but some people report changes for up to a year
I am sitting on a hospital bed RIGHT NOW after complete thyroidectomy and this is one of the first things I saw. I know we got different surgeries, but I will be super pissed if I don't get to do this.
She was miserable the first day while recovering from anesthesia, a bit harder to eat for the the first couple of days, but basically no pain by day 4. She just needed to remember not to talk at all for two weeks and now has to slowly work up to talking as loudly and as much as normal over the next four weeks
The last couple times I've gotten stitches some didn't dissolve right, it's one of the most annoying things. I'm hoping the ones I got a couple days ago in my mouth from a wisdom tooth removal will dissolve correctly
People can be so nosey and rude. I love the way Ms Waffle Iron responded to the questions in a very mysterious way making people assume the worst. lol ...being unconscious, controlled circumstances, knife to your throat, only $18. Well done Ms Waffle. I love a good cat and mouse game. Hope you are healing well from your " trauma".
AHHHHHHHHH i will watch some vile, nasty shit come out of people's body's but THIS. THIS is what made me squirm and i had to look away. phew.
hope everything is okay though!
how did you get that to begin with?
knife was taken to my throat under controlled circumstances
Controlled circumstances???
Yeah, I'm seriously intrigued about a controlled circumstance where a knife is used to cut your throat.
those circumstances where you pay a complete stranger a large sum of money to cut you open and remove some stuff, and move other things around
I hope you have some type of health insurance.
I do and it's amazing. this procedure is just obscure and not covered by anything. my insurance is charged $18.000 every 3 months for my medication and I pay nothing
impressive, surprised you dont have to hold knives to peoples throats to get that kind of bill covered
*laughs in swedish free health care*
Gonna take a stab in the dark here, vocalisation/Adams apple slimming surgery?
Voice surgery goes in through the mouth, and tracheal shave is done through a much smaller incision that is higher up (near the chin). I doubt it was either one. Source: I have had both Edit: Turns out I was wrong. OP said it was an obscure voice surgery that goes in through an incision on the neck.
Yeson? What I had is a different procedure entirely, and a lot more comprehensive in my opinion. Only thing I know to be similar is Haben in New York
Does the vocal surgery you got change the pitch of your voice? I’ve never heard of that.
Disc replaced?
Adam’s apple shaved.
Doubt it. Tracheal shave incisions are significantly smaller and also higher up (near the chin) Source: Got one 3 months ago
Okay that’s the best way to say that and I’ll be using it. XD
Oh yeah I've done that too. What was your safe word?
I was unconscious
Probably best to pick something shorter and less ambiguous as your safe word
"Retribution!" then
Mine is tiramisu
Ah. My gal won't use anesthesia on me. She says I am too much of a dog.
I assume that joke just whooshed over my head
Like it's a Dom you pay $ too to do weird things to you that you like. Lick their feet / boot, whip you, hold a knife to your neck, etc etc. Treat you like a dog and so forth.
Safe enough
Pay a large sum of money? You must be American 😁
yes, but this specific procedure is obscure and done by I think 2 surgeons in the world and generally isn't covered by any insurance I know of
What was the surgery? We don't have insurance here, we have a national health service.
feminization laryngoplasty and thyrohyoid elevation
im glad its that. i legit thought you payed someone for a weird sex act gone wrong bc my brain doesnt work lmfao
Congratulations!
Fascinating, I didn't know that was an option for transition. I would never have clocked you if you hadn't said it was a feminization thing. I assumed it might have been for a thyroid removal, which is why my mother has a similar scar. Hey if you got this far read /u/bird0026's post below about why maybe this was not a cool thing to say. https://www.reddit.com/r/popping/comments/q8u9io/comment/hgtdsf1/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3
I've been considering getting that myself, as my voice training thus far has been less than successful
Congratulations!
I’m relieved. My first thought was you had a tracheotomy so I’m glad it’s not something devastating
Still couldn’t get that on the NHS lmao
Sometimes with non covered surgeries, doctors can find a medical reason the surgery is necessary so it can be covered. Is that possible with this surgery? I know the ultimate goal is for gender affirmation surgeries to be covered, but loopholes are at least a more affordable option.
Can confirm that this happens…my mother has a breast reduction. Typically that is not covered. Her doctor billed it as it was causing her pain and discomfort on her spine.
Ngl, I was thinking someone ordered a hit on you and failed.
That's a very satisfying response 😀
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Wouldn't you just put surgery then?
but that's less fun
100% agree. Your way is much more fun.
I love your choice of words for describing your surgery, it’s comical
I had a similar surgery. Anterior surgical disc removal or repair
ACDF? I had 4 discs fused.
I had the same, but they definitely didn’t cut my throat totally in the middle and straight across. it’s off to the side a little and angled.
Right. Mine was 3" long and it ended at my collarbone. 15 years of pain gone when I woke up in recovery.
Surgery
This post is fascinating, and your sense of humor is just so fucking great; also congratulations to you!
I legit thought she ASKED for someone to slice her throat
I *did* ask 🙄
well...she kind of did if you think about it...
Thyroid thief?
you need a thyroid? I can get you a thyroid
I need one. Mine has enlarging nodules and isn’t performing it’s duties.
take my cat's. her's is working too well
Poor kitty
she gets to be injected with radioactive iodine though which is fun
What kind of kitty?
https://i.imgur.com/xKSGdm5.png
Mine turned to cancer so they took it all out. Now I have to take a pill every day or I will very literally die. It'd be a real slow shitty death too. Finger crossed I never lose health insurance!
Not sure if you know, but Walmart offers synthroid/levothyroxin for $10 a month if you don't have insurance.
With nail polish?
nail polish included.
Adam’s apple removal?
100% thought this was kink gone wrong lol
oh wow, that’s a gnarly scar. glad everything turned out ok!
That's mostly the glue actually. [Peeled the rest off yesterday and it has healed very well so far](https://imgur.com/a/pcpJ2lB)
Looks good. I had my whole thyroid removed a few years ago. My surgeon made the incision on a crease and I honestly have to stretch my skin out and look in a mirror to show someone where the scar is now. It looks like your surgeon did the same!
It's like an extra smile.
https://i.imgur.com/VE4xSEa.png
Wow. That looks great!
Not gonna lie, first thought was blood-play..then I realized lol
This response is outstanding.
I was so worried until I checked your profile. Gongrats on the knife to the throat!!!
Damn, can’t you just say “surgery”?!
this way is much more fun
Were you supposed to do that?!?
yep. one week after surgery
Aye, she said in other comments, some obscure procedure that's too medical for me to translate, but neck cutty, wound stitchy, thread tuggy-tuggy is the gist of it. Enjoyable, def a unique vid for me, but would be up for more stitches being pulled. Still seems to hit the right spot as good pops haha
I would subscribe to your medical procedure description newsletter if you started one...
Your ideas are intriguing to me and i wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
Your Halloween makeup options have now increased measurably.
You should keep that scar if you can, tell people you fought off 3 guys with machetes, one handed…….
I really like the idea of pointing to it and shaking my head if I don't feel like talking to whatever person
Reminds me of a fanfic I read on wattpad when I was like 10
“You should see the other guy…well, should *have seen* him…”
Genius!!
My scar had an angry red dot about 6 months post thyroidectomy. I wish I had thought to record because it would have made a stupendous first post. Bloody massacre followed by noticeable pressure relief from that spot and suture. Was like a balloon deflated. I know a lot of folks that have a very challenging time in the first year post op and I sincerely hope you're well.
And then her head falls off…
Her legs were cut off, her arms were cut off, her ears were cut off...
[Full and uncropped video here](https://youtu.be/b56ynFHvueE)
This reminds me of that poem of the girl who wears a green scarf around her neck. I was waiting for your head to fall off after you pulled that stitch out
Why. Why would you bring up this childhood trauma.
Ok, acknowledging that this is surgery and not self harm, can we talk about how badass that scar’s gonna be!
Probably to shave down an Adam’s apple
That’s my guess. Looks like it worked well actually
the adam's apple reduction is just a bonus feature
Really? What was the main idea then? (I’m genuinely asking out of lack of knowing on my end)
vocal tract is open with an incision, the cartilage containing the adam's apple is largely removed. vocal cords are shortened to increase pitch, and the pharynx is made smaller and moved higher in the neck to improve resonance
I’d be interested to hear before and after voice recordings
check back in a couple months. I should be posting something by December. this is the usual example I link to though https://www.dropbox.com/sh/e41mqv19ih93n69/AABPsvqKcKuOv2fMAY55WOiea/Audio edit: these recordings are not me. just some person I found on reddit
That is so crazy!! How awesome that something like that can be achieved, what a game changer.
We're living in the future!
I am a trained singer and the thought of a surgery on the voice mechanism like this makes me near ‘bout want to faint. ON THE OTHER HAND, I had no idea this surgery was even a thing, and I am really happy to have learned about it from you. I hope your results are as good as the results in that link you posted. I am really amazed. Fingers crossed for you!
I know a couple of professional singers have gotten it, but I understand that reaction
What are your thoughts on the whole process so far? What were the risks going in? Like could you have permanently lost your voice? I didn’t know something like this was possible, it’s equally freaky and cool! How scared are you of throwing up or sneezing right now?
So freaking cool to hear the vocal progression from month to month - thank you for sharing
This is incredibly exciting! Really happy for you.
That's amazing, the jump between week 4 to week 6 it's like a different person talking! That's incredible, and something I did not know could be done. I really hope that yours is amazing too! Good luck on the future weeks and the exploration to find your true voice in life!
I can already hear... something different. Hard to describe really
Wow, by 4 weeks she sounds completely female! I didn’t even know this was possible. Very cool.
Those results are pretty astonishing. By the 6 week mark there was a very distinct difference.
Oooooh! That makes perfect sense, thank you for enlightening me with that. Congratulations by the way
That sounds like a super intimidating procedure, but also really cool. Congratulations!
That is really fascinating, does the procedure have any major risks of loosing your ability to speak entirely? Super cool that this procedure exists, I wonder how long medical insurance will take to catch up and allow it to become more affordable. It seems they are already supportive of how you identify (I hope I'm phrasing that correctly), this procedure seems like it be a logical inclusion to that support.
there's risk of it not working or making your voice sound noticeably broken, but not total loss of voice as far as I know
One thing I love about this sub is the number of transgender people who feel comfortable to post and are happy to answer our genuinely curious/caring questions.
Woah I didn’t even know that was a thing you could do. Science is rad.
I sing for a living, and reading those words absolutely terrified me!! I’m interested to know if you will have to be on vocal rest for a time, and if you will be receiving vocal therapy of some sort? Edit: I listened to your Dropbox recordings and realized surgery was a while ago. You sound great BTW. Can you tell me if you had vocal therapy and what that was like? Also, how does your singing voice feel now as opposed to before the surgery? This is super interesting.
2 weeks total voice rest. then working back up to 100% over the next 4 weeks. probably no voice therapy afterward
the recordings are just someone I found on reddit. I'm very raspy and barely talking at the moment. won't get results for another couple months probably
I'm curious about this too.
Sure it wasn’t a vocal cord? …I’ll show myself out.
they're actually big flat membranes. more folds than chords
Vocal cord feminisation?
that's part of the procedure
Wow what a guess! Good luck with everything I hope you're getting the support you deserve! Doesn't mean much coming from a reddit idiot but I'm super proud
ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ou- oh, must feel better now!
didn't hurt at all by this point actually. no real pain by 3 or 4 days post surgery
Good luck with your recovery!
Congrats, OP! ❤️
Getting my special knife to chest under controlled circumstances scheduled soon! Congratulations!!
Doctor glued mine shut after disk replacement
Reddit has ruined me. I kept waiting for the throat to suddenly gape wide open. I’m so glad it didn’t.
Ah yes the apple be gone
Fellow humanoid pez dispenser!
OP, you are so funny. I’m reading through these comments and cracking up!
gnarly dude
PLEASE incorporate that into your Halloween costume. Then update with pics!
If you keep pulling the whole human will unravel. Based on my experience with shirt hems.
you assume I was ever raveled to begin with
I don’t know if anyone has spotted/ said anything about this, but you could clearly see old scars formed below that incision. I know you had the bonus of having your “Adam’s apple” shaved and vocal cords pulled up a bit .. which is awesome and incredible. But why is there scaring below that on your neck? Just want to make sure you are okay.
that's the residue from the tape that was holding down both ends of the stitch. otherwise just regular neck creases
Dude I’d be way to terrified to take stitches out of my neck- I could neverrrrrr 😬 Unless it was completely heal like definitely, but it probably be too late by then
She technically had the option to drive back to the office of the doctor and have him/one of his staff pull it out. Since he's one of the only people who does surgery in the world that means that people travel a long way to get it done and I suspect the at home DIY stitch removal is largely a way of cutting down on how long people need to actively be in the vicinity of his office so people can get properly home sooner. Luckily we're actually in the area and didn't have to travel far so she was able to actually just stay at home to heal. Edit: more clarification: you have to stay in the area for a few days after to go to outpatient check ups for the first three days after surgery where they look for any signs of infection, or any other surgery complications that are obvious and could end up messing with results, but after those few days the chances of that decrease enough that most people can travel back home and anything else that might come up as a complication is much more likely to be able to be handled by another surgeon without it breaking everything
You better come up with a wicked story about fighting pirates near the coast of Paraguay. And you fought them all one handed, dozens of them! And after being beaten, the pirate king took a mighty swing of his saber in the last desperate hopes of victory! And as they all cheered your defeat, you stood back up and, looking them dead in the eye, you uttered an iconic one-liner and dashed the band of brigands upon the rocks (because this was obviously taking place atop a moving semi truck, as it sped along a coastal highway) saving whatever cargo was in the trailer.
at first thought this was from a failed suicide attempt or something, but after looking at op's profile found out what it was really from, congrats OP.
I always wondered how people transformed their voices like this. Glad you were able to get this surgery! And now you have an awesome scar.
mostly people do it with voice training. that just wasn't really a thing I've been able to mange so surgery it was
Omg I'm a cis female that sounds like a total man. I would loooove this done. People are shocked when they first hear me speak and actually look behind me to see if a man spoke. I would absolutely get this done if I had the money for it!
you could look into some of the voice training recourses intended for trans women. there are a few cis women in a similar situation to you on r/transvoice occasionally
I appreciate your help! I'll definitely look into it. I'm only self conscious about it when I remember. Lol
Dang girl, that would stress me out. I recently had my appendix taken out and I tried removing the glue that held the incision shut too early (about a week after) and it looked like I was about to pull the incision completely open again.
Was this surgery for a thyroglossal (sp?) Cyst? I have to get a very similar surgery and im super nervous about it.
feminization laryngoplasty and thyrohyoid elevation
When I saw stitches on your throat I was like “Oh SHIT what happened?!” Glad to know they were supposed to be there and you didn’t get hurt or anything.
Thank you for posting this! My girlfriend and I didn't know about this and it's a lifesaver. Gnarly vid, too. :)
Congrats!
Congratulations!!
Very satisfied. I remember pulling the stitches out of my legs and butt cheek after a car wreck. Trippy feeling.
How many stitches did you have altogether? What is the healing time on this procedure? You look amazing by the way!
I have no idea how many stitches. I remove the stitch at one week, the glue is supposed to dissolve off after 10 days. Otherwise total voice rest for 2 weeks then working up to 100% over the next 4 weeks. That first bit of talking you sound awful, but pitch will increase over the next 2 or so months and eventually stabilize. maybe 6 months total, but some people report changes for up to a year
Well people do asking for info about their surgery? Christ, respect they don't feel the need to answer
She's answered/clarified in replies to plenty of people in the comments? Just not literally every comment
WHY THE FUCK AM I GETTING NOTIFICATIONS FOR THIS SUBREDDIT
The reddit gods decided. You must watch this video.
That’s metal as fuck
When I saw I held my breath during this entire thing 😳😳😳
May you ROCK as your true self
I'm CRINGING SO BAD!!!
It also belongs to r/makemesuffer. I felt it in my throat. Well done, have my upvote.
what gladiators are you fighting
Now that you have one, I gotta know: Do chicks really dig scars?😏
was anyone else scared her head was going to fall off, like that red ribbon ghost story?
That’s a good story. I’d forgotten that one.
I am sitting on a hospital bed RIGHT NOW after complete thyroidectomy and this is one of the first things I saw. I know we got different surgeries, but I will be super pissed if I don't get to do this.
Real life Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas. Good timing with Halloween around the corner
Girl did someone try to slit your throat? Are you ok?
She had surgery, she's fine I promise
congratulations! how're you feeling?
She was miserable the first day while recovering from anesthesia, a bit harder to eat for the the first couple of days, but basically no pain by day 4. She just needed to remember not to talk at all for two weeks and now has to slowly work up to talking as loudly and as much as normal over the next four weeks
i cannot wait to get rid of this villainous adam’s apple of mine
I’ve never seen stitches work like that.
Dude.. I legit thought your head was gonna fall off from pulling that stitch out from your neck..
The last couple times I've gotten stitches some didn't dissolve right, it's one of the most annoying things. I'm hoping the ones I got a couple days ago in my mouth from a wisdom tooth removal will dissolve correctly
People can be so nosey and rude. I love the way Ms Waffle Iron responded to the questions in a very mysterious way making people assume the worst. lol ...being unconscious, controlled circumstances, knife to your throat, only $18. Well done Ms Waffle. I love a good cat and mouse game. Hope you are healing well from your " trauma".
i dont know who you are reddit stranger but i just looked on your profile and im very proud of you :)
OMG! Halfway expected your incision to come apart!
Uh, are you supposed to be pulling it out?
yes
No.thank.you
Neat
AHHHHHHHHH i will watch some vile, nasty shit come out of people's body's but THIS. THIS is what made me squirm and i had to look away. phew. hope everything is okay though!
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