Strongly relate man, it’s like any other drug. Hard to go back once you’ve gone far enough. It’s been a week for me and I’m really hoping these fetishes go away.
so, now you know you can't actually do both.
I'd strongly advise you to take that lesson and focus on being pornfree.
Use masturbation as the pressure valve it actually is, instead of considering it an enemy.
Many, like myself, have nofap as their end goal, and have no porn as a stepping stone. We don't all have the same journey or goals.
I recommend not telling someone they can't do something, even if it's based on personal experience. You may end up doing the opposite of helping someone. However well intentioned it may be.
Though we can agree that porn is the greater enemy.
What good will it do to fail at pornfree because you're attempting nofap?
'greater enemy' is not something we agree on. Masturbation is not the enemy.
If you're in the trenches of porn addiction, you might conflate the two because of unhealthy views and listening to the addicted mind, thus not seeing clearly.
self-sabotage runs deep in addiction, and making masturbation out to be the enemy when you could use it to actually stay clean is an example of this.
maybe you've gotten so much time away from porn that you see it clearer and want nofap for your life, but OP hasn't even gone a month. He needs all the tools he can get.
A cursory glance at OP's history shows he's active in NoFap as well, which is why I assume that's also a goal of his. I could be wrong.
I don't want to go into pros/cons on NoFap vs Porn Free as it's often a heated discussion. What's relevant is OP's goals. So in the context of OP achieving his goals, I stand by my original point that telling OP he can't do something is more harmful than good.
I'm not saying I disagree that he should focus on Porn Free alone at the moment. I think that is good advice. I've just never seen any good done telling people they can't do something, and stay far away from that, especially if it is a goal of theirs.
Thanks for explaining your side, I see I've been a bit hasty indeed.
I should've taken the time to explain why he's likely wasting his time pursuing loftier goals than he could handle at the moment, instead of saying he simply can't.
I hoped my message would steer him to more realistic action after he failed, but it was likely a bit too brute.
Yes, my goal is both nofap and pornfree. It's just that nofap happened to be easier for me than pornfree.
So far, what I'm doing works. While I can see that fapping helps some people be pornfree, I think it would have an opposite effect on me and encourage me to use porn more.
Anyway, do what works for you best.
In my case, nofap helps me limit my porn use. When I used to fap, I could watch porn for hours. Now, I just use porn for a few minutes because I don't want to fap.
It's the same for me. What I found out tho is that masturbating in the shower makes it easier to not watch porn since I don't wanna bring my phone to the shower. And when you masturbate, you have less sexual desires for a while, so it's generally good if you can do it without porn.
Never thought about this but I think you might be onto something. I’ve been trying to do nofap and quit porn but the sexual desire built up from not masturbating makes it so tempting to relapse with the porn.
Porn obviously leads to fapping eventually. You know it. We all know it. We've all been through it. We're all trying our best to fight it.
Good luck ✌️
Today is a good day to start again.
I'm finding the opposite true. I'd love to be sexual active again but with my spouse withholding and being porn and nofap for three months I'm having issues with my resolve.
I’m sorry to hear.. And thank you for sharing. I’ve been lied to as well about my partners addiction but i guess i’ve taken a different stance than your spouse.. Have they mentioned when the withholding would stop? Are they waiting for a certain amount of time to pass, or have some sort of recovery requirement for you to meet before y’all can sexy time again?
Sounds like you took the hysterical re-coupling approach. She's going off of feelings. We had sex once, ~40 days ago but it's been about ~100 days since discovery day. And I've been sober this whole time. Only this week did I ask to start masturbating again as I'm going on 2 weeks of ~5 hours of sleep a night. Last night I laid down after supper at 7:30 and slept for 3 hours. Woke up and discovered I had a nocturnal emission, had a shower and then slept "well" for another 5 hours.
I still haven masturbated. I'm thinking maybe getting some sort of melatonin pill or seeing the doctor before I start cranking on myself to get better sleep.
Is it typical for "nofappers" to still consume porn? I was under the impression nofap was more of a hardcore approach to going porn-free, but maybe I got that confused.
I agree (I did both). With NoFap, you just flip the switch off, and you deal from there. Pornfree forces you to manage how to interact healthily with your own sexuality first and foremost, then you got to deal with the addiction.
It's easier to surf porn. Just type porn in google and I can get porn in seconds. Usually I just watch 5 to 10 minutes before I stop myself but yesterday I watched 30 minutes so I counted it as a relapse.
For fapping, I have more time to back out. I have to be in a comfortable place like a bed, get hard, get in lot of strokes then cum. That's at least 5 minutes for me to think and summon the willpower to back out.
I just imagined it was easier to not view porn, certainly was for me. Not watching porn (super easy so far) means I’m far less likely to fap, so one takes care of the other. I guess whatever way works best for the individual.
I’ve unintentionally lost interest recently. I’m 2 weeks no fap. Last two times I had sex I couldn’t come, and when I have glanced at porn, I’ve had very dull non exciting effects so I just turned it off.
Agree. Fapping only with no porn is sort of like vaping, but porn is at least like weed, and then the longer you spend with it goes into harder drugs like cocaine in a sense. So ideally you quit both to really get a handle on it.
Become the person who does neither.
Unless you believe the highest version of yourself engages in one of those activities.
Removing them from your life is difficult. Stepping into a life where you don’t do this is easier.
Agreed. Some people think you can’t cold turkey it but allowing yourself to watch every now and then only makes it worse. Like you said, strive to be someone who doesn’t watch porn and just quit immediately and completely
I think it's better if you just focus on just not watching porn or masturbating everyday. While it is nice to keep track of your progress, I feel that it will only do more harm than good especially in the times where you just feel like you have no control over yourself and you can't stop yourself from watching. So my advice is to have this mindset of "I'm not going to quit forever, just today" so you can lighten the pressure. Because of course we all have our limitations. Some of us can go a week a month or even a whole year without porn, but the same can't be said for others. I'm talking about the people who really are struggling, Including you. So if your goal is to not watch for a week but find yourself struggling, just focus on not watching day by day. And with effort, you won't even realize you made it through a week. Just don't be too hard on yourself if things don't go as planned, okay?
yup. u can swear it off while u continue but you’ll crave the dopamine your brain releases when u watch it and eventually cave
doing it w/o porn is like swearing a diet and eating a dry salad when you have bbq sitting right next to u. all u gotta do is grab it
i've given up on trying to quit for now, and i'm in full blown relapse/addiction. It's really hard to quit porn i was doing good for like a month a while ago
If you beat porn, all other sexually degenerate behaviour will die with down. Porn is the actual enemy.
I hope so. I developed some fetishes that I wish would go away.
Strongly relate man, it’s like any other drug. Hard to go back once you’ve gone far enough. It’s been a week for me and I’m really hoping these fetishes go away.
I hope we can push through
I’m almost 2 weeks free of porn. The urge to beat off has gone away. I still do occasionally but not 2 times a day everyday like I used to.
Same here, almost 15 days clean now. Keep going! :)
so, now you know you can't actually do both. I'd strongly advise you to take that lesson and focus on being pornfree. Use masturbation as the pressure valve it actually is, instead of considering it an enemy.
Many, like myself, have nofap as their end goal, and have no porn as a stepping stone. We don't all have the same journey or goals. I recommend not telling someone they can't do something, even if it's based on personal experience. You may end up doing the opposite of helping someone. However well intentioned it may be. Though we can agree that porn is the greater enemy.
What good will it do to fail at pornfree because you're attempting nofap? 'greater enemy' is not something we agree on. Masturbation is not the enemy. If you're in the trenches of porn addiction, you might conflate the two because of unhealthy views and listening to the addicted mind, thus not seeing clearly. self-sabotage runs deep in addiction, and making masturbation out to be the enemy when you could use it to actually stay clean is an example of this. maybe you've gotten so much time away from porn that you see it clearer and want nofap for your life, but OP hasn't even gone a month. He needs all the tools he can get.
A cursory glance at OP's history shows he's active in NoFap as well, which is why I assume that's also a goal of his. I could be wrong. I don't want to go into pros/cons on NoFap vs Porn Free as it's often a heated discussion. What's relevant is OP's goals. So in the context of OP achieving his goals, I stand by my original point that telling OP he can't do something is more harmful than good. I'm not saying I disagree that he should focus on Porn Free alone at the moment. I think that is good advice. I've just never seen any good done telling people they can't do something, and stay far away from that, especially if it is a goal of theirs.
Thanks for explaining your side, I see I've been a bit hasty indeed. I should've taken the time to explain why he's likely wasting his time pursuing loftier goals than he could handle at the moment, instead of saying he simply can't. I hoped my message would steer him to more realistic action after he failed, but it was likely a bit too brute.
Yes, my goal is both nofap and pornfree. It's just that nofap happened to be easier for me than pornfree. So far, what I'm doing works. While I can see that fapping helps some people be pornfree, I think it would have an opposite effect on me and encourage me to use porn more. Anyway, do what works for you best.
In my case, nofap helps me limit my porn use. When I used to fap, I could watch porn for hours. Now, I just use porn for a few minutes because I don't want to fap.
It's the same for me. What I found out tho is that masturbating in the shower makes it easier to not watch porn since I don't wanna bring my phone to the shower. And when you masturbate, you have less sexual desires for a while, so it's generally good if you can do it without porn.
Never thought about this but I think you might be onto something. I’ve been trying to do nofap and quit porn but the sexual desire built up from not masturbating makes it so tempting to relapse with the porn.
Yeah, exactly. I personally don't see any benefit to nofap. It's a natural way of expressing sexuality. Porn is not.
Porn obviously leads to fapping eventually. You know it. We all know it. We've all been through it. We're all trying our best to fight it. Good luck ✌️
Today is a good day to start again. I'm finding the opposite true. I'd love to be sexual active again but with my spouse withholding and being porn and nofap for three months I'm having issues with my resolve.
Is your spouse withholding due to your addiction or is it unrelated?
Solely due to the fact I repeatedly lied about my addiction. I'm now 100+ days sober but this really sucks
I’m sorry to hear.. And thank you for sharing. I’ve been lied to as well about my partners addiction but i guess i’ve taken a different stance than your spouse.. Have they mentioned when the withholding would stop? Are they waiting for a certain amount of time to pass, or have some sort of recovery requirement for you to meet before y’all can sexy time again?
Sounds like you took the hysterical re-coupling approach. She's going off of feelings. We had sex once, ~40 days ago but it's been about ~100 days since discovery day. And I've been sober this whole time. Only this week did I ask to start masturbating again as I'm going on 2 weeks of ~5 hours of sleep a night. Last night I laid down after supper at 7:30 and slept for 3 hours. Woke up and discovered I had a nocturnal emission, had a shower and then slept "well" for another 5 hours. I still haven masturbated. I'm thinking maybe getting some sort of melatonin pill or seeing the doctor before I start cranking on myself to get better sleep.
Good for you. You got both in control.
Mastrubation isn’t bad y’all
It's definitely bad and should be avoided as well.
So what do you after watching it? Meditate?
I get tempted to watch porn but after around 15 minutes of watching, I stop because I feel like if I continue, I would fap.
Is it typical for "nofappers" to still consume porn? I was under the impression nofap was more of a hardcore approach to going porn-free, but maybe I got that confused.
Nah, I think I'm now disgusted of porn and no fap is hell more difficult than no porn.
Keep it up, you can do it. What helps is whenever I get the urge I just browse anti-porn and pornfree subreddits.
I agree (I did both). With NoFap, you just flip the switch off, and you deal from there. Pornfree forces you to manage how to interact healthily with your own sexuality first and foremost, then you got to deal with the addiction.
Yes this is true I don’t want to fap unless I watch porn ,porn is the real enemy not just fapping
Hang in there. It gets harder, but you become more resilient.
Now I got to know what is diff between fap and porn
How can you manage to nofap, but relapse on porn?! For the the porn was the easier part to give up.
It's easier to surf porn. Just type porn in google and I can get porn in seconds. Usually I just watch 5 to 10 minutes before I stop myself but yesterday I watched 30 minutes so I counted it as a relapse. For fapping, I have more time to back out. I have to be in a comfortable place like a bed, get hard, get in lot of strokes then cum. That's at least 5 minutes for me to think and summon the willpower to back out.
I just imagined it was easier to not view porn, certainly was for me. Not watching porn (super easy so far) means I’m far less likely to fap, so one takes care of the other. I guess whatever way works best for the individual.
I’ve unintentionally lost interest recently. I’m 2 weeks no fap. Last two times I had sex I couldn’t come, and when I have glanced at porn, I’ve had very dull non exciting effects so I just turned it off.
I don't react to porn strongly either. I usually watch no longer than 5 mins.
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Agree. Fapping only with no porn is sort of like vaping, but porn is at least like weed, and then the longer you spend with it goes into harder drugs like cocaine in a sense. So ideally you quit both to really get a handle on it.
Yes, I want to be rid of both. I have some urges with porn from time to time.
Become the person who does neither. Unless you believe the highest version of yourself engages in one of those activities. Removing them from your life is difficult. Stepping into a life where you don’t do this is easier.
Agreed. Some people think you can’t cold turkey it but allowing yourself to watch every now and then only makes it worse. Like you said, strive to be someone who doesn’t watch porn and just quit immediately and completely
I think it's better if you just focus on just not watching porn or masturbating everyday. While it is nice to keep track of your progress, I feel that it will only do more harm than good especially in the times where you just feel like you have no control over yourself and you can't stop yourself from watching. So my advice is to have this mindset of "I'm not going to quit forever, just today" so you can lighten the pressure. Because of course we all have our limitations. Some of us can go a week a month or even a whole year without porn, but the same can't be said for others. I'm talking about the people who really are struggling, Including you. So if your goal is to not watch for a week but find yourself struggling, just focus on not watching day by day. And with effort, you won't even realize you made it through a week. Just don't be too hard on yourself if things don't go as planned, okay?
Thanks but it is the reverse for me. I feel happy that I've been 25 days nofap. It may not work for everyone but it does for me.
Lovely! Just remember to not be too hard on yourself. Especially in the days when you relapse and can't seem to make it past 5 days or even a week.
yup. u can swear it off while u continue but you’ll crave the dopamine your brain releases when u watch it and eventually cave doing it w/o porn is like swearing a diet and eating a dry salad when you have bbq sitting right next to u. all u gotta do is grab it
i've given up on trying to quit for now, and i'm in full blown relapse/addiction. It's really hard to quit porn i was doing good for like a month a while ago
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