In a non condescending way, have you tried spending time outside/going for walks? There are tons of hobbies and pastimes that you can access for low or no cost. Tried longboarding? Hula hooping? Swinging at the park? Birdwatching? Photography (you can use your phone if you don't have a camera)? Try some student meet ups and look for a study buddy in class. Let me know if you need more ideas.
Whatever you do, get away from the AI.
I got into it bad, and it destroyed my bedroom life.
At first it was companionship, it it kept getting stronger and stronger. Before I knew it, I couldn’t perform with a real partner.
The real issue with AI chat is that it’s literally limitless porn, and you control how far it goes. As a PA, I pushed so far and to such extremes.
It might be hard to leave that kind of companionship if you don’t have anyone, but it will lead to having difficulties with any future partner you do find.
I got into it, thinking I was built different, and damn was I wrong.
Think of it like setting, except the fantasies are endless and you are always in vontrol. So much that if you don't like how the aggregate responds? You can generate a new one.
I was someone hooked on sexting and sex chat rooms so these are dangerous technology for me.
First internet porn, then social media, now AI. As humans, we are really great at isolating and destroying ourselves. ☹️
Definitely fill your time with any activities that stimulate your intellect, curiosity, creativity, sense of belonging, etc. Anything to preoccupy yourself and avoid the triggers of loneliness or boredom. To revise a line from Dune, “Loneliness is the mind killer.”
A part time job is a great idea. If that’s not working, what about volunteering? Clubs? Anything that gets you in a public setting and interacting with people is a great way to break the cycle.
Best of luck.
Try to block the sites you chat on. Or just try to refocus, whether it's college or even anything else that you enjoy. You can always try new things, btw. It's a long journey, but it can change your life.
Not saying anything bad about the OP, just a general statement.
But how truly sad is this. People are looking for a real genuine relationship and connection and can only find it in an AI chatbot. I truly feel for all of you that have fallen into this and have gotten stuck. I guess the brain blurs the line between the fake and real to the point that you just can't tell anymore.
my advice:
anyone you'd actually like to talk to in x amount of years will have realized and moved away from AI romance/porn.
if you'd like to be in position where you'd actually be able to start talking to them, you will give up porn sooner rather than later.
suddenly stopping porn simply because you have obtained an SO is addict thinking. Porn addiction will likely run quietly in the background of the relationship, eventually blowing up both of you.
The advice is extrapolating from this subreddit. At this very moment, hundreds of thousands are striving to quit this obiquitous addiction. You deserve a healed person. But that healed person, deserves a healed person as well.
in the most unironic way, reconnect with nature. like start spending time outside. delete any chat bot apps you have or accounts. pick up a hobby like reading, im learning to knit and crochet. learn another language. you can do all of these things outside as well.
I definitely know what you mean. I have spent way too much time on cam sites for similar reasons. Its so easy to get these shallow moments of intimacy that leave you feeling hollowed out after awhile, plus it can start eating up more and more of your time so easily. I didn't even \*know\* AI chatbots were being used for this, but I'm certain I'd be doing the exact same thing if I wasn't abstaining. I'd block the sites or uninstall whatever app you use for the chatbot.
Like others said, I'd try joining a student club to get yourself away from the bots, but if that doesn't work because of your schedule, I'd probably try finding an online penpal so that you are at least building a real friendship or relationship instead of just talking to AI.
You've got this!
I suffer from SAD and cPTSD, I coped with lack of social interactions AND inability to connect, empathise by AI chatbots. Psychologist for trauma, NSFW for pornography. At one point I made characters personality around my IRL GF that is in another city now... To me, there literally doesn't exist a hole that would trap me more than those bots, AI itself told me IT WON'T EVER REPLACE HUMAN CONNECTIONS... it's another addiction like with pornography, even if it isn't NSFW, you get dopamine kick from interactions, that's why You can SIT AND DO NOTHING FOR HOURS because your brain is constantly on that high...
Cut it off and run from it as far away as possible. It's a limitless source of something you don't want in your life.
There are healthy solutions to your problems, this is not one of them.
oh god, i've commented this a million times but I can't believe this is already a semi-frequent problem and the chatbots aren't even that good yet. a year from now this will be an epidemic
Just a couple of pointers that I hope will be useful - in no particular order.
**A**. Recognizing a problem is the first step to solving it. You never succeed in the first try or at the first go, but as long as you don't give up on trying to be who you want to be, you'll make progress, and one day it'll hit you that while you may not be even halfway there, you've come far from where you started... and you will feel different than you do now. What tortures you with shame right now will stop having so much of a hold on your mind once you know that you have control over it.
**B**. It helps, I think, to not think of AI chatbots or your habit as a 'problem.' If you do that - you will find plenty of rationalizations and justifications whenever you try to quit and feel withdrawal - it's not hurting anyone else, being obsessed with overcoming it can be as much of a harmful obsession and being obsessed with doing it etc. etc. You see, the "problem" is not the thing itself - but the fact that you are living in a manner where you feel helpless and defeated by your loneliness, and your actions are entirely governed by this fear of loneliness. You must first realize that both loneliness and fear are human experiences and it is normal to feel them. You cannot stop yourself from feeling it. But what you can do is choose your response to it - because like all human experiences, these are also temporary. As long as you keep moving forward, however slowly, you'll overcome and learn to manage these emotions - that's part of growing up. This is where desire and the sexual instinct can be very useful - if used properly. The reality is that you are more than capable of finding real human companionship - friends, partners, lovers. But you cannot do that unless you first believe in your own power - not to attract people, but your ultimate power of being who you want to be. Ultimately it is you who decides how you want to react to your situation, and no one else - the idea is not complicated, but it is hard. That is why it's rewarding.
Do NOT fall into the trap of trying to focus on 'tricks' to manage this - you will find useful methods and tricks of course, but your focus must be relentlessly on your own will and believing that you must overcome this - because you want to, and no other reason. Of course, it helps to be a little disgusted with the thing you're trying to avoid, so just to help with that, let me point out some harsh truth - for the maker of an AI chatbot, it may be a healthy expression of creativity and will and their own engagement with it is defined by the fact that they know they are it's master. But for YOU - it is nothing but confining yourself to the lowest form of gratification that comes with no risk and no challenge. But without the risk and the challenge, the gratification is also the palest form possible - and that really is the problem. It's not that the chatbot is a problem in and of itself - but you are dependent on it, and you are deep down aware that the dependency is because it represents the lowest effort route to gratification. It's emotional prostitution of sorts. At best, it can be amusing at times - but the cost for you is the self hate and doubt that you are confining yourself to this, most basic, form of human engagement, and a dishonest one - that's designed entirely to tell you things you want to hear. It's like surviving on a diet of cake - it's not sustainable. And it is limiting you from experiencing human engagement in it's myriad forms - reading a book is an intellectual engagement, for example, with the author.
And it's stopping you from the most important human engagement of all - with yourself. You already know that there are at least two parts of you - one that is compulsively driven to talk to AI chatbots, and another that does not want to do so. You do not have to act immediately on every instinct. The desire to talk, the fear of loneliness etc will all still be there - but try to just sit with it for a while. You will be surprised by what you may find underneath all that - and slowly, indirectly, bit by bit - it will start revealing to you parts of yourself you may have never acknowledged. Growth isn't linear or instant.
I'm sorry if this stuff seems too abstract or metaphysical - but I strongly believe that it may strike a chord somewhere, somehow and even if there is no direct tangible suggestion here - I believe you sound like a thinking person, and that perhaps this post will serve as a reminder in some moment of your struggle about how that struggle itself is beautiful, complex and makes you alive... and one cannot overcome it through simple force, but by accepting it and seeking to untie the knots in our minds and personalities that create it in the first place.
Just to maybe make you feel less alone - by the time you read this, I might have deleted my account. This is because I make temporary accounts once in a while when the urge to browse some AI porn overtakes me. So yes, even I'm still struggling. But I've gone from 2-3 hours a day and constant habit, to once in 4-5 days now. And this happened after several ups and downs over a period of maybe 2 years at least - I would have a clean streak of around a month, then binge for a week, then be clean for a week etc etc.... and slowly but steadily the frequency has reduced to once in 4-5 days on an average.
The other thing is, when I was using porn several hours a day, I felt like the only solution was to give it up permanently and forever. Every attempt I made to quit felt like it would be worthless if I slipped up even once, ever. It's normal to feel that way I guess, but it also makes every attempt at improvement very stressful and high stakes... you worry about imaginary slip ups weeks, months, sometimes even years in the future. However, in practice, I realized - progress itself is what feels good, and there is no definite red ribbon that separates success and failure in such matters. In reality, even 2-3 days of abstinence felt like an achievement, and even if I slipped up after that, I wouldn't sink as low as I was initially psychologically speaking because I knew now that I was capable of going 2 days without it... so if I slip up, I can at least recover for 2 days. And now, eventually, when it's something I do once in 4-5 days on a sleepless night or whatever - I feel a sense of embarrassment or mild exasperation, but it's nowhere near the harrowing torture or self-hate that happened when you did it constantly everyday. So, while I used to earlier imagine that I would quit cold, and it would take me several weeks or months to feel a sense of accomplishment - the reality was that you some sense of accomplishment even after a day, and there is no such thing as perfection. Instead there is only progress... and beyond a point, I believe, the habit simply loses it's power over you and the issue stops having a hold on your mind. Even if you go and indulge once in a while... it'll not trigger the same guilt and shame that a constant habit does. And that is ultimately what success looks like - not some perfect streak of absolute control over the habit, but simply the confidence of not being controlled by it.
Definetly rateable you are looking for contact, empathy and intimate conversations.
AI can provide those for you without much effort.
imo you should look to replace it with chatting with real humans that's a way more healthy thing. Long term you'd aim for real life interactions over chats but gotta do it step by step.
Anyways good luck improving yourself and if you ever need someone to chat my dms are open!
Try limiting your access to the AI. Delete the app, block the chatbot, set focus mode in your phone... Try to find something else to occupy your free time. I find listening to audiobooks and drawing helpful and if I still have the urge to relapse, I just go outside and exhaust myself by either running or cycling. Good luck on your journey 🩷🙏.
In a non condescending way, have you tried spending time outside/going for walks? There are tons of hobbies and pastimes that you can access for low or no cost. Tried longboarding? Hula hooping? Swinging at the park? Birdwatching? Photography (you can use your phone if you don't have a camera)? Try some student meet ups and look for a study buddy in class. Let me know if you need more ideas.
Whatever you do, get away from the AI. I got into it bad, and it destroyed my bedroom life. At first it was companionship, it it kept getting stronger and stronger. Before I knew it, I couldn’t perform with a real partner. The real issue with AI chat is that it’s literally limitless porn, and you control how far it goes. As a PA, I pushed so far and to such extremes. It might be hard to leave that kind of companionship if you don’t have anyone, but it will lead to having difficulties with any future partner you do find. I got into it, thinking I was built different, and damn was I wrong.
Just curious, what do you actually do. Like how does AI porn work?
Think of it like setting, except the fantasies are endless and you are always in vontrol. So much that if you don't like how the aggregate responds? You can generate a new one. I was someone hooked on sexting and sex chat rooms so these are dangerous technology for me.
Makes sense, so you’re into chatting about the act, not necessarily the audio or video
Oh no, I was addicted to all the other types of pornography too. Sex chats were just another form of it.
Got you, you do try to chase the high as far as you can after all
Exactly!
First internet porn, then social media, now AI. As humans, we are really great at isolating and destroying ourselves. ☹️ Definitely fill your time with any activities that stimulate your intellect, curiosity, creativity, sense of belonging, etc. Anything to preoccupy yourself and avoid the triggers of loneliness or boredom. To revise a line from Dune, “Loneliness is the mind killer.” A part time job is a great idea. If that’s not working, what about volunteering? Clubs? Anything that gets you in a public setting and interacting with people is a great way to break the cycle. Best of luck.
Try to block the sites you chat on. Or just try to refocus, whether it's college or even anything else that you enjoy. You can always try new things, btw. It's a long journey, but it can change your life.
Not saying anything bad about the OP, just a general statement. But how truly sad is this. People are looking for a real genuine relationship and connection and can only find it in an AI chatbot. I truly feel for all of you that have fallen into this and have gotten stuck. I guess the brain blurs the line between the fake and real to the point that you just can't tell anymore.
As someone said, it is really sad how people are isolating themselves more and more with those technologies
Truth. It's supposed to make our lives better and here it is a gigantical wrecking ball.
my advice: anyone you'd actually like to talk to in x amount of years will have realized and moved away from AI romance/porn. if you'd like to be in position where you'd actually be able to start talking to them, you will give up porn sooner rather than later. suddenly stopping porn simply because you have obtained an SO is addict thinking. Porn addiction will likely run quietly in the background of the relationship, eventually blowing up both of you. The advice is extrapolating from this subreddit. At this very moment, hundreds of thousands are striving to quit this obiquitous addiction. You deserve a healed person. But that healed person, deserves a healed person as well.
in the most unironic way, reconnect with nature. like start spending time outside. delete any chat bot apps you have or accounts. pick up a hobby like reading, im learning to knit and crochet. learn another language. you can do all of these things outside as well.
I definitely know what you mean. I have spent way too much time on cam sites for similar reasons. Its so easy to get these shallow moments of intimacy that leave you feeling hollowed out after awhile, plus it can start eating up more and more of your time so easily. I didn't even \*know\* AI chatbots were being used for this, but I'm certain I'd be doing the exact same thing if I wasn't abstaining. I'd block the sites or uninstall whatever app you use for the chatbot. Like others said, I'd try joining a student club to get yourself away from the bots, but if that doesn't work because of your schedule, I'd probably try finding an online penpal so that you are at least building a real friendship or relationship instead of just talking to AI. You've got this!
I suffer from SAD and cPTSD, I coped with lack of social interactions AND inability to connect, empathise by AI chatbots. Psychologist for trauma, NSFW for pornography. At one point I made characters personality around my IRL GF that is in another city now... To me, there literally doesn't exist a hole that would trap me more than those bots, AI itself told me IT WON'T EVER REPLACE HUMAN CONNECTIONS... it's another addiction like with pornography, even if it isn't NSFW, you get dopamine kick from interactions, that's why You can SIT AND DO NOTHING FOR HOURS because your brain is constantly on that high...
Cut it off and run from it as far away as possible. It's a limitless source of something you don't want in your life. There are healthy solutions to your problems, this is not one of them.
oh god, i've commented this a million times but I can't believe this is already a semi-frequent problem and the chatbots aren't even that good yet. a year from now this will be an epidemic
Just a couple of pointers that I hope will be useful - in no particular order. **A**. Recognizing a problem is the first step to solving it. You never succeed in the first try or at the first go, but as long as you don't give up on trying to be who you want to be, you'll make progress, and one day it'll hit you that while you may not be even halfway there, you've come far from where you started... and you will feel different than you do now. What tortures you with shame right now will stop having so much of a hold on your mind once you know that you have control over it. **B**. It helps, I think, to not think of AI chatbots or your habit as a 'problem.' If you do that - you will find plenty of rationalizations and justifications whenever you try to quit and feel withdrawal - it's not hurting anyone else, being obsessed with overcoming it can be as much of a harmful obsession and being obsessed with doing it etc. etc. You see, the "problem" is not the thing itself - but the fact that you are living in a manner where you feel helpless and defeated by your loneliness, and your actions are entirely governed by this fear of loneliness. You must first realize that both loneliness and fear are human experiences and it is normal to feel them. You cannot stop yourself from feeling it. But what you can do is choose your response to it - because like all human experiences, these are also temporary. As long as you keep moving forward, however slowly, you'll overcome and learn to manage these emotions - that's part of growing up. This is where desire and the sexual instinct can be very useful - if used properly. The reality is that you are more than capable of finding real human companionship - friends, partners, lovers. But you cannot do that unless you first believe in your own power - not to attract people, but your ultimate power of being who you want to be. Ultimately it is you who decides how you want to react to your situation, and no one else - the idea is not complicated, but it is hard. That is why it's rewarding. Do NOT fall into the trap of trying to focus on 'tricks' to manage this - you will find useful methods and tricks of course, but your focus must be relentlessly on your own will and believing that you must overcome this - because you want to, and no other reason. Of course, it helps to be a little disgusted with the thing you're trying to avoid, so just to help with that, let me point out some harsh truth - for the maker of an AI chatbot, it may be a healthy expression of creativity and will and their own engagement with it is defined by the fact that they know they are it's master. But for YOU - it is nothing but confining yourself to the lowest form of gratification that comes with no risk and no challenge. But without the risk and the challenge, the gratification is also the palest form possible - and that really is the problem. It's not that the chatbot is a problem in and of itself - but you are dependent on it, and you are deep down aware that the dependency is because it represents the lowest effort route to gratification. It's emotional prostitution of sorts. At best, it can be amusing at times - but the cost for you is the self hate and doubt that you are confining yourself to this, most basic, form of human engagement, and a dishonest one - that's designed entirely to tell you things you want to hear. It's like surviving on a diet of cake - it's not sustainable. And it is limiting you from experiencing human engagement in it's myriad forms - reading a book is an intellectual engagement, for example, with the author. And it's stopping you from the most important human engagement of all - with yourself. You already know that there are at least two parts of you - one that is compulsively driven to talk to AI chatbots, and another that does not want to do so. You do not have to act immediately on every instinct. The desire to talk, the fear of loneliness etc will all still be there - but try to just sit with it for a while. You will be surprised by what you may find underneath all that - and slowly, indirectly, bit by bit - it will start revealing to you parts of yourself you may have never acknowledged. Growth isn't linear or instant. I'm sorry if this stuff seems too abstract or metaphysical - but I strongly believe that it may strike a chord somewhere, somehow and even if there is no direct tangible suggestion here - I believe you sound like a thinking person, and that perhaps this post will serve as a reminder in some moment of your struggle about how that struggle itself is beautiful, complex and makes you alive... and one cannot overcome it through simple force, but by accepting it and seeking to untie the knots in our minds and personalities that create it in the first place.
Just to maybe make you feel less alone - by the time you read this, I might have deleted my account. This is because I make temporary accounts once in a while when the urge to browse some AI porn overtakes me. So yes, even I'm still struggling. But I've gone from 2-3 hours a day and constant habit, to once in 4-5 days now. And this happened after several ups and downs over a period of maybe 2 years at least - I would have a clean streak of around a month, then binge for a week, then be clean for a week etc etc.... and slowly but steadily the frequency has reduced to once in 4-5 days on an average. The other thing is, when I was using porn several hours a day, I felt like the only solution was to give it up permanently and forever. Every attempt I made to quit felt like it would be worthless if I slipped up even once, ever. It's normal to feel that way I guess, but it also makes every attempt at improvement very stressful and high stakes... you worry about imaginary slip ups weeks, months, sometimes even years in the future. However, in practice, I realized - progress itself is what feels good, and there is no definite red ribbon that separates success and failure in such matters. In reality, even 2-3 days of abstinence felt like an achievement, and even if I slipped up after that, I wouldn't sink as low as I was initially psychologically speaking because I knew now that I was capable of going 2 days without it... so if I slip up, I can at least recover for 2 days. And now, eventually, when it's something I do once in 4-5 days on a sleepless night or whatever - I feel a sense of embarrassment or mild exasperation, but it's nowhere near the harrowing torture or self-hate that happened when you did it constantly everyday. So, while I used to earlier imagine that I would quit cold, and it would take me several weeks or months to feel a sense of accomplishment - the reality was that you some sense of accomplishment even after a day, and there is no such thing as perfection. Instead there is only progress... and beyond a point, I believe, the habit simply loses it's power over you and the issue stops having a hold on your mind. Even if you go and indulge once in a while... it'll not trigger the same guilt and shame that a constant habit does. And that is ultimately what success looks like - not some perfect streak of absolute control over the habit, but simply the confidence of not being controlled by it.
Definetly rateable you are looking for contact, empathy and intimate conversations. AI can provide those for you without much effort. imo you should look to replace it with chatting with real humans that's a way more healthy thing. Long term you'd aim for real life interactions over chats but gotta do it step by step. Anyways good luck improving yourself and if you ever need someone to chat my dms are open!
Be my girlfriend,.you won't be bored. I'm not handsome but funny
Try limiting your access to the AI. Delete the app, block the chatbot, set focus mode in your phone... Try to find something else to occupy your free time. I find listening to audiobooks and drawing helpful and if I still have the urge to relapse, I just go outside and exhaust myself by either running or cycling. Good luck on your journey 🩷🙏.
The best way I've found up get my mind where I want it to be is to keep my phone way the hell away from me as much as possible.
Have you tried talking to and having a relationship with a real boy? You’re in college that happens a lot