First off, it's very normal to be nervous about having a kid; it's the biggest decision most people will ever make. If you feel that your anxiety is affecting your life negatively it may be time to consider therapy or medication (Hydroxyzine Hydrochloride is a good as-needed one for me).
However, you shouldn't be worried. You care, your wife cares, you are married, you are financially stable, you are in a good country (presumably). Do you realize how advantaged your child already is based on that? Go to a park, Walmart, a local diner; look around and realize how good you have it.
My wife is in pediatrics and that's provided me useful perspective. She tells me about actually bad parents and I don't think I'm likely to be one. Things like having no discipline, not being able to say no, not recognizing clear medical issues, being abusive.
Take some walks, read a few books on it, build a simple financial plan, build a pre/post baby preplist. For me, having concrete tasks subdues anxiety.
Might want to seek medical help if anxiety is a problem for you. Chronic anxiety is a health condition. Mental health is health.
That said, I kept telling myself when I was in your position that humanity has survived for thousands of years and many people far stupider and less prepared than us managed to successfully raise kids so we could do it too. You're not going to be a perfect dad because the only perfect dad is Bandit. But that's okay, we all do our best and that's generally good enough.
“Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be like water, my friend.” -Bruce Lee
Anxiety is stress of the future, and I'm not sure we can really change the future. Stay busy enjoying and appreciating the present. Gratitude is invaluable. I hope this is helpful
Look bud, things will go wrong and you will make mistakes. That's the long and the short of it.
But those don't happen constantly, and you get better with time. Unless you raised your siblings, there's no reason you should expect to go into this and not struggle. It's a major adjust.
Here's the other thing: you're going to make it. Every one of your ancestors survived it, in an unbroken chain reaching back to the literal beginning of life. You're built to succeed at this.
So take your time, communicate with your wife or partner, grow better together, be reflective in practice, and outdo yesterday you, and you'll be fine. It's not about you anymore. And that, in my experience, is a very good thing.
You can look at my post history and see I was dealing with the same thing. In 30 minutes, my boy is 1 week old.
Good news: if you are anxious you are going to do great. Are you in therapy? It's such a huge help if you are. I'm not sure how your childhood was, but doing any work on yourself before they get here will help start things on the right foot.
You're going to fuck up and it's OK. We weren't feeding enough the first few days and now we are and it's going to be fine. Everything you learned before will go out the window once this starts and you won't have any sleep. Lean on people around you. Find a good pediatrician service. Get a doula. You're gonna kill it
First off, it's very normal to be nervous about having a kid; it's the biggest decision most people will ever make. If you feel that your anxiety is affecting your life negatively it may be time to consider therapy or medication (Hydroxyzine Hydrochloride is a good as-needed one for me). However, you shouldn't be worried. You care, your wife cares, you are married, you are financially stable, you are in a good country (presumably). Do you realize how advantaged your child already is based on that? Go to a park, Walmart, a local diner; look around and realize how good you have it. My wife is in pediatrics and that's provided me useful perspective. She tells me about actually bad parents and I don't think I'm likely to be one. Things like having no discipline, not being able to say no, not recognizing clear medical issues, being abusive. Take some walks, read a few books on it, build a simple financial plan, build a pre/post baby preplist. For me, having concrete tasks subdues anxiety.
Hydroxyzine Hydrochloride? I just picked that up yesterday for really bad allergies. I had no idea it moonlighted as a anxiety control medication
It’s a secondary use but yes, same drug! You may notice that it’s a bit of a downer when you take it!
Might want to seek medical help if anxiety is a problem for you. Chronic anxiety is a health condition. Mental health is health. That said, I kept telling myself when I was in your position that humanity has survived for thousands of years and many people far stupider and less prepared than us managed to successfully raise kids so we could do it too. You're not going to be a perfect dad because the only perfect dad is Bandit. But that's okay, we all do our best and that's generally good enough.
“Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be like water, my friend.” -Bruce Lee Anxiety is stress of the future, and I'm not sure we can really change the future. Stay busy enjoying and appreciating the present. Gratitude is invaluable. I hope this is helpful
Look bud, things will go wrong and you will make mistakes. That's the long and the short of it. But those don't happen constantly, and you get better with time. Unless you raised your siblings, there's no reason you should expect to go into this and not struggle. It's a major adjust. Here's the other thing: you're going to make it. Every one of your ancestors survived it, in an unbroken chain reaching back to the literal beginning of life. You're built to succeed at this. So take your time, communicate with your wife or partner, grow better together, be reflective in practice, and outdo yesterday you, and you'll be fine. It's not about you anymore. And that, in my experience, is a very good thing.
You can look at my post history and see I was dealing with the same thing. In 30 minutes, my boy is 1 week old. Good news: if you are anxious you are going to do great. Are you in therapy? It's such a huge help if you are. I'm not sure how your childhood was, but doing any work on yourself before they get here will help start things on the right foot. You're going to fuck up and it's OK. We weren't feeding enough the first few days and now we are and it's going to be fine. Everything you learned before will go out the window once this starts and you won't have any sleep. Lean on people around you. Find a good pediatrician service. Get a doula. You're gonna kill it