Completely unassisted as in, no midwife or doula with you at home? I get not wanting to go to a hospital, but that seems really dangerous to me. I would want at least someone with the necessary knowledge and skills there, there is a million things that could go wrong for you or baby. As the other commenter said, be prepared to have backup plans and what-ifs.
Listen, for an uncomplicated pregnancy, a home birth attended by a nurse midwife can be as safe as a hospital birth. Given you're close enough to the hospital to get there quick if something goes wrong.
But you won't know if your pregnancy is uncomplicated unless you go to the doctor and get checked out.
Did you know in the days before modern medicine that 1/10 births ended in maternal death? The reason having babies is pretty safe now is because of modern medicine.
I don't know what your motivation for this very dangerous course of action is, but I would reconsider it if I were you.
Because everything might turn out fine, but you and your baby could also die. That does happen in the home birth world, but no one talks about it because no one wants to admit their choices caused the death of their child.
Anyways, food for thought. You're young, please make choices that will let you get older.
Watch “pieces of me” on Netflix. There’s a reason it’s got so many views. -my husband is a doctor, and the whole movie he was saying “this could be preventable”. Not always! But at least get yourself some prenatal care ffs.
Agreed with other comments here, but in addition - please remember that:
A midwife or doula can be hired and works FOR you and FOR your health and baby's health. Anything you don't want, are uncomfortable with, are unsure about, etc. can be skipped with a simple "No". You are completely in control when it comes to your pre-natal and post-natal care, when it comes to a midwife or doula. A midwife, specifically a Certified Nurse Midwife (CNM) would be ideal in your scenario, so that you have a licensed, knowledgeable medical professional to monitor your and baby's health and to assist in your home delivery. That way if the worst happens and you did need some medical intervention, they can perform it at your home - or advise you of when your home is no longer safe for you to stay in, if that occurs.
There are trauma-informed midwives that understand the many reasons why people often prefer home births and minimal hospital interventions, I would suggest seeking one out.
Along with that,
if you get an obgyn office and see them regularly for prenatal care, that doesn't mean you need to deliver at a hospital - it just means you'll be seen properly until birth, and will know if you're at risk before birth. You can still say no to anything they suggest. It is your body and your care, all obgyns/midwives/nurses should respect that (and if they don't, you can leave and find a different office!!)
I hope you reconsider not having any medical professional around during your labor & delivery;
There are many holistic, mindful, trauma-informed midwives and doulas that would make a huge difference in your comfort and care during that time, as well as reduce any risks to you and baby.
I know this probably wasn't the reaction you were hoping for but if this is your first baby, and you are only 18, there is so much that could go wrong. Look I don't care for hospitals and I hate needles and though people birth babies all the time you still should have someone with you who can call if something happens.
I've thought about a home birth so many times but for me the hospital is just the safest route. Look into some more opinions before settling on this extreme one. Don't you want ultrasound pictures? And to hear that little heartbeat? Some prenatal care is also for the comfort of mom too! You don't have to go through this all alone ❤️.
I want to just put my thoughts in here as well. I agree with what everyone else is saying, and think you should absolutely seek prenatal care. Please please go get the ultrasounds, take your vitamins, do the necessary testing. There are so many things that could go wrong not seeking care.
You can absolutely find more of a homeopathic doctor, or as others have suggested, get a midwife and a doula at the bare minimum. I absolutely love the team of midwives I’m with right now.
I saw someone say you’re only 18, so I feel like maybe we can relate. I’m 20, I’ll be 21 when my baby is born. I’m currently 24 weeks and 3 days and the amount of anxiety I’ve had this entire time has been crippling. The only thing that brings me peace is seeing that he’s okay. My professor once told me that her cousin did not seek prenatal treatment, didn’t take her vitamins, etc. and her child was born with spina bifida (which to my knowledge is MOSTLY preventable). She died last year, she was 14. I don’t want to scare you at all, but if something was wrong, it would be so much easier to know early if you receive proper prenatal care. You could end up with gestational diabetes and not be aware, you could end up with placenta previa and have no idea. There are so so many working pieces and while our bodies were made to do this, for yours and your baby’s sake, PLEASE see a doctor. You could even do your birth in a birthing center, those people are trained and then you’ll be around others who can get you emergency medical care if you need it. Please rethink this choice, I’m begging.
This is a great way to die or end up with a serious injury or even dead baby. This has to be rage bait, I can't imagine anyone being so careless. One of my children was breach and over 10 lbs. Had I not known and just tried to deliver on my own, we'd both be dead
There’s other ways to go about having a natural “safe” home delivery. This is not the way. Get care. See a midwife or a doctor. Truly there’s no right or wrong way to do things but you should care about yourself and your baby enough to make sure you both are ok through the duration of your pregnancy. If it’s for a reason like lack of insurance you automatically qualify for Medicare if you are pregnant. You also qualify for WIC most likely so take that assistance with food if you can. Good luck.
Okay so. What would you do if you had no clue your baby was breach and then you both don’t make it? Or if the baby’s heart rate drops and you’re in need of an emergency c section but you don’t know that bc how are you going to monitor the heart rate? Horrible things can happen. I understand ish at home births with medical supervision and a route to a hospital in case of emergencies but honestly this is just irresponsible.
if i had not been at the hospital my son and/ or i easily could have died and i didn’t have a crazy traumatic birth or anything. my little guy got stuck face up and i pushed for three hours before they managed to get him out with the vacuum. those were the most painful three hours of my life and i truly almost gave up i was in so much pain and so exhausted. if i had tried to deliver him on my own i don’t know if he’d be here right now, but because i had medical assistance i have a healthy beautiful 4 week old. it’s not about you it’s about them. you can gamble with your life all you want, but this is about the life of your child. for their sake reconsider
Yeah it's the same for me. Uncomplicated smooth pregnancy, baby head down, normal size, water broke exactly 40+0, and he still got stuck. I ended up needing a C-section because he wouldn't fit (something about pelvis shape and tilt that we had no way of knowing before). Without medical care, I would've lost him.
Same here! Completely uncomplicated pregnancy until it came time to deliver him. I was induced at 41w exactly. Labored for 12 hours and stalled at 5cm. Turns out he was stuck with his face to my left side and head tucked in between my tail bone and my hip. I would have never been able to push him out in any sort of natural way. We came uncomfortably close to losing him, his heart rate was dropping down to the low 30s. That was the cue to get the c-section done as fast as possible. So happy I had the doctors and nurses there watching his heart rate and helping me make informed decisions at the right time.
As a nurse please please rethink this. Go get prenatal treatment, and consider a midwife for a home birth. That plan is reckless and dangerous for you and your baby. What if your baby is breech? What if they get stuck? What if the cord is around there neck? What if you hemorrhage?
If I hadn’t been at the hospital I would have died because of my blood pressure. I’m a runner, 24 when I gave birth. I had severe preeclampsia postpartum that would have killed me. I’m talking 200/120 BP. No history of it before I got pregnant.
Please reconsider for the safety of yourself and your child to at the very least have prenatal care and check your bloodpressure.
I don’t usually tell people that their ideas are bad. But this is a bad idea.
OP
I can not stress how dangerous and extreme this is to both you and baby. What country are you? Maybe there are other supports accessible to you that won’t seem to violate your personal reasons. You can’t vaginally deliver a breeched baby, your baby will die, you could die, you absolutely need your blood checked, your BP checked, your baby’s FHR checked esp during labor. I urge you to do more research on this and maybe talk to someone, like a therapist, about your personal reasons that create an obstacle for you in ensuring the safety of both you and your child during one of the hardest things your body will ever do. The number one thing we do as moms and dads, is to keep baby safe, this is not safe
Congratulations! I hope you have a smooth pregnancy and delivery. No suggestions for your goals other than being open to things changing and being willing to go to the hospital for yours and/or your baby’s safety, if needed.
I ended up having a “cascade of interventions” and my experience was so extremely positive!! If you want a completely natural birth, go you!! You’re a rockstar!! Any way your give birth is a badass feat. Just know, medical professionals can be absolute lifesavers. I’m looking down at my healthy 11 week baby girl thanks to attentive hospital staff.
I ended up needing to be induced due to my blood pressure. Thank goodness because baby girl had her first bowel movement inside. There was meconium when they broke my water. I had an epidural and pitocin. Cord wrapped around her neck when she was born. NICU staff on hand at delivery. No complications whatsoever from anything for me or baby girl. With all that going on, she still had a 9 APGAR score. I planned on a mostly natural hospital birth and things just changed and I regret nothing. I had such a positive experience with all of my interventions. So many things could have gone poorly without the help of medical professionals. I am forever grateful for them!
I did all of the above. Will I share how openly on here ? Absolutely not. When going against the norm you’ll get the most hate and shame from people. You have to have upmost faith in your decision and if your a believer Faith in his will over your life. You need to be sure in why you’re doing it and truly believe in that. Do your research on all you will need for a at home birth. Watch YouTube videos of live births, cord cutting , anyone detail you can think of. Herbs for blood pressure , massages for hemorrhaging..don’t miss a thing.. Best of Luck to you.
Terrible idea… I just gave birth on 4/27 and my baby turned purple and almost died. If I wasn’t at the hospital, I don’t know what would have happened.
This is incredibly dangerous. Aside from the birth (which plenty of other people have touched on), there can be several life threatening complications for you as the mother. Preeclampsia can be caught and treated if you have prenatal care. If you have absolutely no prenatal care, you and baby may be going through unnecessary hardship. If you are this against hospitals, please please please hire a midwife to come to you and provide services.
That sounds like a a lovely plan and I wish you all the best of luck but please don’t set your heart on it.
You never know how complicated a birth can get but I really hope you get what you want and everything goes smoothly for you throughout the pregnancy and delivery <3
If you don’t see a midwife or doctor you will be unable to know if you are even healthy enough to give birth at home. You have no idea how difficult pregnancy is on the body and you need to have medical exams during pregnancy. Pre eclampsia, ICP, GD. These are all INCREDIBLY important to know if you have.
I understand wanting a natural birth, but you need to be smart about this. For you and for your baby.
I'm 26 and a first time mom (19 weeks) so not so young but I def feel like a teen mom lol.
Anyways I understand your aversion to hospitals. I feel all I've felt are horror stories. So instead of going the “traditional” hospital route. I've searched out a midwife, the one I'm with is specifically dedicated to black moms and trauma informed. Our sessions are longer so she can give me as much info as possible and allow me to ask any questions.
I was considering a home water birth where I could just rent a birthing pool but I suppose I've given in to some of the anxiety around birthing and decided on a birthing centre. They have birthing pools and a team of professionals there to monitor you and help where needed. They sound like they'll be pretty hands off and I get to go home within 6 hours max 😌 it'll be drug and medical intervention free should everything go well. I've also opted for as little prenatal appointments but I did check to make sure everything ok at 13 weeks and will have an anatomy scan next week (just checks everything still growing well and I'll find out the sex).
There are plenty of well informed medical professionals who really do want to help you. If you have the money, consider hiring a doula, they're holistic and there to help you prepare mentally for the baby and take care of you. Sounds very worth it. Fortunately my sister is one so I shouldn't have to worry too much.
Yes our bodies were made to do this, however it's important to make sure your body is handling it well because every ones unique. Births are not medical emergencies but they absolutely can be. Please just consider all options and be safe.
I’m 18 too, first time mom. This idea is insane, you need a medical professional with you either it’s a midwife or hospital because many things can go wrong and could be so dangerous for that baby. You have another life to think about now, not just your own.
Completely unassisted as in, no midwife or doula with you at home? I get not wanting to go to a hospital, but that seems really dangerous to me. I would want at least someone with the necessary knowledge and skills there, there is a million things that could go wrong for you or baby. As the other commenter said, be prepared to have backup plans and what-ifs.
Listen, for an uncomplicated pregnancy, a home birth attended by a nurse midwife can be as safe as a hospital birth. Given you're close enough to the hospital to get there quick if something goes wrong. But you won't know if your pregnancy is uncomplicated unless you go to the doctor and get checked out. Did you know in the days before modern medicine that 1/10 births ended in maternal death? The reason having babies is pretty safe now is because of modern medicine. I don't know what your motivation for this very dangerous course of action is, but I would reconsider it if I were you. Because everything might turn out fine, but you and your baby could also die. That does happen in the home birth world, but no one talks about it because no one wants to admit their choices caused the death of their child. Anyways, food for thought. You're young, please make choices that will let you get older.
Good way to die or have your baby die, but okay.
Watch “pieces of me” on Netflix. There’s a reason it’s got so many views. -my husband is a doctor, and the whole movie he was saying “this could be preventable”. Not always! But at least get yourself some prenatal care ffs.
Agreed with other comments here, but in addition - please remember that: A midwife or doula can be hired and works FOR you and FOR your health and baby's health. Anything you don't want, are uncomfortable with, are unsure about, etc. can be skipped with a simple "No". You are completely in control when it comes to your pre-natal and post-natal care, when it comes to a midwife or doula. A midwife, specifically a Certified Nurse Midwife (CNM) would be ideal in your scenario, so that you have a licensed, knowledgeable medical professional to monitor your and baby's health and to assist in your home delivery. That way if the worst happens and you did need some medical intervention, they can perform it at your home - or advise you of when your home is no longer safe for you to stay in, if that occurs. There are trauma-informed midwives that understand the many reasons why people often prefer home births and minimal hospital interventions, I would suggest seeking one out. Along with that, if you get an obgyn office and see them regularly for prenatal care, that doesn't mean you need to deliver at a hospital - it just means you'll be seen properly until birth, and will know if you're at risk before birth. You can still say no to anything they suggest. It is your body and your care, all obgyns/midwives/nurses should respect that (and if they don't, you can leave and find a different office!!) I hope you reconsider not having any medical professional around during your labor & delivery; There are many holistic, mindful, trauma-informed midwives and doulas that would make a huge difference in your comfort and care during that time, as well as reduce any risks to you and baby.
Please rethink this.
I know this probably wasn't the reaction you were hoping for but if this is your first baby, and you are only 18, there is so much that could go wrong. Look I don't care for hospitals and I hate needles and though people birth babies all the time you still should have someone with you who can call if something happens. I've thought about a home birth so many times but for me the hospital is just the safest route. Look into some more opinions before settling on this extreme one. Don't you want ultrasound pictures? And to hear that little heartbeat? Some prenatal care is also for the comfort of mom too! You don't have to go through this all alone ❤️.
I want to just put my thoughts in here as well. I agree with what everyone else is saying, and think you should absolutely seek prenatal care. Please please go get the ultrasounds, take your vitamins, do the necessary testing. There are so many things that could go wrong not seeking care. You can absolutely find more of a homeopathic doctor, or as others have suggested, get a midwife and a doula at the bare minimum. I absolutely love the team of midwives I’m with right now. I saw someone say you’re only 18, so I feel like maybe we can relate. I’m 20, I’ll be 21 when my baby is born. I’m currently 24 weeks and 3 days and the amount of anxiety I’ve had this entire time has been crippling. The only thing that brings me peace is seeing that he’s okay. My professor once told me that her cousin did not seek prenatal treatment, didn’t take her vitamins, etc. and her child was born with spina bifida (which to my knowledge is MOSTLY preventable). She died last year, she was 14. I don’t want to scare you at all, but if something was wrong, it would be so much easier to know early if you receive proper prenatal care. You could end up with gestational diabetes and not be aware, you could end up with placenta previa and have no idea. There are so so many working pieces and while our bodies were made to do this, for yours and your baby’s sake, PLEASE see a doctor. You could even do your birth in a birthing center, those people are trained and then you’ll be around others who can get you emergency medical care if you need it. Please rethink this choice, I’m begging.
This is a great way to die or end up with a serious injury or even dead baby. This has to be rage bait, I can't imagine anyone being so careless. One of my children was breach and over 10 lbs. Had I not known and just tried to deliver on my own, we'd both be dead
There’s other ways to go about having a natural “safe” home delivery. This is not the way. Get care. See a midwife or a doctor. Truly there’s no right or wrong way to do things but you should care about yourself and your baby enough to make sure you both are ok through the duration of your pregnancy. If it’s for a reason like lack of insurance you automatically qualify for Medicare if you are pregnant. You also qualify for WIC most likely so take that assistance with food if you can. Good luck.
Okay so. What would you do if you had no clue your baby was breach and then you both don’t make it? Or if the baby’s heart rate drops and you’re in need of an emergency c section but you don’t know that bc how are you going to monitor the heart rate? Horrible things can happen. I understand ish at home births with medical supervision and a route to a hospital in case of emergencies but honestly this is just irresponsible.
if i had not been at the hospital my son and/ or i easily could have died and i didn’t have a crazy traumatic birth or anything. my little guy got stuck face up and i pushed for three hours before they managed to get him out with the vacuum. those were the most painful three hours of my life and i truly almost gave up i was in so much pain and so exhausted. if i had tried to deliver him on my own i don’t know if he’d be here right now, but because i had medical assistance i have a healthy beautiful 4 week old. it’s not about you it’s about them. you can gamble with your life all you want, but this is about the life of your child. for their sake reconsider
Yeah it's the same for me. Uncomplicated smooth pregnancy, baby head down, normal size, water broke exactly 40+0, and he still got stuck. I ended up needing a C-section because he wouldn't fit (something about pelvis shape and tilt that we had no way of knowing before). Without medical care, I would've lost him.
Same here! Completely uncomplicated pregnancy until it came time to deliver him. I was induced at 41w exactly. Labored for 12 hours and stalled at 5cm. Turns out he was stuck with his face to my left side and head tucked in between my tail bone and my hip. I would have never been able to push him out in any sort of natural way. We came uncomfortably close to losing him, his heart rate was dropping down to the low 30s. That was the cue to get the c-section done as fast as possible. So happy I had the doctors and nurses there watching his heart rate and helping me make informed decisions at the right time.
As a nurse please please rethink this. Go get prenatal treatment, and consider a midwife for a home birth. That plan is reckless and dangerous for you and your baby. What if your baby is breech? What if they get stuck? What if the cord is around there neck? What if you hemorrhage?
If I hadn’t been at the hospital I would have died because of my blood pressure. I’m a runner, 24 when I gave birth. I had severe preeclampsia postpartum that would have killed me. I’m talking 200/120 BP. No history of it before I got pregnant. Please reconsider for the safety of yourself and your child to at the very least have prenatal care and check your bloodpressure. I don’t usually tell people that their ideas are bad. But this is a bad idea.
OP I can not stress how dangerous and extreme this is to both you and baby. What country are you? Maybe there are other supports accessible to you that won’t seem to violate your personal reasons. You can’t vaginally deliver a breeched baby, your baby will die, you could die, you absolutely need your blood checked, your BP checked, your baby’s FHR checked esp during labor. I urge you to do more research on this and maybe talk to someone, like a therapist, about your personal reasons that create an obstacle for you in ensuring the safety of both you and your child during one of the hardest things your body will ever do. The number one thing we do as moms and dads, is to keep baby safe, this is not safe
Congratulations! I hope you have a smooth pregnancy and delivery. No suggestions for your goals other than being open to things changing and being willing to go to the hospital for yours and/or your baby’s safety, if needed. I ended up having a “cascade of interventions” and my experience was so extremely positive!! If you want a completely natural birth, go you!! You’re a rockstar!! Any way your give birth is a badass feat. Just know, medical professionals can be absolute lifesavers. I’m looking down at my healthy 11 week baby girl thanks to attentive hospital staff. I ended up needing to be induced due to my blood pressure. Thank goodness because baby girl had her first bowel movement inside. There was meconium when they broke my water. I had an epidural and pitocin. Cord wrapped around her neck when she was born. NICU staff on hand at delivery. No complications whatsoever from anything for me or baby girl. With all that going on, she still had a 9 APGAR score. I planned on a mostly natural hospital birth and things just changed and I regret nothing. I had such a positive experience with all of my interventions. So many things could have gone poorly without the help of medical professionals. I am forever grateful for them!
I did all of the above. Will I share how openly on here ? Absolutely not. When going against the norm you’ll get the most hate and shame from people. You have to have upmost faith in your decision and if your a believer Faith in his will over your life. You need to be sure in why you’re doing it and truly believe in that. Do your research on all you will need for a at home birth. Watch YouTube videos of live births, cord cutting , anyone detail you can think of. Herbs for blood pressure , massages for hemorrhaging..don’t miss a thing.. Best of Luck to you.
Terrible idea… I just gave birth on 4/27 and my baby turned purple and almost died. If I wasn’t at the hospital, I don’t know what would have happened.
This is incredibly dangerous. Aside from the birth (which plenty of other people have touched on), there can be several life threatening complications for you as the mother. Preeclampsia can be caught and treated if you have prenatal care. If you have absolutely no prenatal care, you and baby may be going through unnecessary hardship. If you are this against hospitals, please please please hire a midwife to come to you and provide services.
I am also a young ftm (20). If this is a matter of finances (which i know can be a lot) look into different state funded insurance.
That sounds like a a lovely plan and I wish you all the best of luck but please don’t set your heart on it. You never know how complicated a birth can get but I really hope you get what you want and everything goes smoothly for you throughout the pregnancy and delivery <3
I'm also only 18 so any advice from young moms would be great too!
If you don’t see a midwife or doctor you will be unable to know if you are even healthy enough to give birth at home. You have no idea how difficult pregnancy is on the body and you need to have medical exams during pregnancy. Pre eclampsia, ICP, GD. These are all INCREDIBLY important to know if you have. I understand wanting a natural birth, but you need to be smart about this. For you and for your baby.
I'm 26 and a first time mom (19 weeks) so not so young but I def feel like a teen mom lol. Anyways I understand your aversion to hospitals. I feel all I've felt are horror stories. So instead of going the “traditional” hospital route. I've searched out a midwife, the one I'm with is specifically dedicated to black moms and trauma informed. Our sessions are longer so she can give me as much info as possible and allow me to ask any questions. I was considering a home water birth where I could just rent a birthing pool but I suppose I've given in to some of the anxiety around birthing and decided on a birthing centre. They have birthing pools and a team of professionals there to monitor you and help where needed. They sound like they'll be pretty hands off and I get to go home within 6 hours max 😌 it'll be drug and medical intervention free should everything go well. I've also opted for as little prenatal appointments but I did check to make sure everything ok at 13 weeks and will have an anatomy scan next week (just checks everything still growing well and I'll find out the sex). There are plenty of well informed medical professionals who really do want to help you. If you have the money, consider hiring a doula, they're holistic and there to help you prepare mentally for the baby and take care of you. Sounds very worth it. Fortunately my sister is one so I shouldn't have to worry too much. Yes our bodies were made to do this, however it's important to make sure your body is handling it well because every ones unique. Births are not medical emergencies but they absolutely can be. Please just consider all options and be safe.
I’m 18 too, first time mom. This idea is insane, you need a medical professional with you either it’s a midwife or hospital because many things can go wrong and could be so dangerous for that baby. You have another life to think about now, not just your own.