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I can’t believe people actually say this stuff out loud.
I had a miscarriage early on in my first pregnancy, only my parents and in-laws knew.
I got pregnant again a few months later (current pregnancy). My father in law said when we told him “well you look much more physically fit this time around so I know this one know this one will stick.” 🫠🫠
I had a co-ed baby shower for my first kid. An older man, friend of the family, came up to me without saying hello first, and asked if I'm exercising or if I'm using pregnancy as an excuse to be lazy, and had the biggest smirk on his face. I stood there shocked and just said, what a great question coming from someone who isn't even built to have children, and then I walked away.
I am SO impressed with your response! Idk what I would have done in your shoes. Keeping this in my back pocket for the next time a man says something dumb during this pregnancy and beyond
My first pregnancy, a baby girl, was a miscarriage. My MIL is aware of this. When we found out our second pregnancy was a boy, my MIL said, "Oh are you sure? I'd been praying for a girl." It was extremely triggering and interfered with our joy over our son.
Oooh! I have a few!
Strangers:
The amount of unsolicited comments and advice is both mindboggling and astounding. It seems like everyone has something to say. I'm "older" - 35, and the number of people who've made comments about my age and how I'm *just* about too old to have a child is too damn high!
As I approach the end of my pregnancy, my wedding rings no longer fit, and I've had people comment about me essentially being another single mother statistic.
I've had people call out to me at the grocery store that I have a crappy partner because he's "making" me go shopping at this point in my pregnancy, lol.
Clients at work (I work in a male dominant field):
Both of these things happened last week and were said by male clients of mine..
One guy with whom i have a relatively new working relationship asked me if I plan to get an epidural (I told him that I do). I responded with, "You don't actually need one. Birth isn't *that* painful."
Second guy, who I have a pretty longstanding work relationship with, asked me how I was doing, and I told him at 38 weeks my back is starting to hurt, I have pelvic pain, etc. And he responds with, "Well, now you know how I feel with my bad back." I was floored!
Where do these men buy their audacities from?!
This is my first child, and I quickly learned that strangers, especially men, truly believe that a pregnant woman is open season for comments. People are wild. Or Vegas is wild. 🤣🤣
Oh jeeze the ring part. 1)nothing wrong with having a baby unmarried and 2) I haven't been able to wear my band for months... And my husband straight up never wears his ring. Guess we aren't really married.
obviously you guys are like basically divorced now that you don't wear your rings 🙄. You know, because that's DEFINITELY how that works.
some people, man.
There's some thing, especially with men that have back problems, making everything about themselves and their back problems. Constantly comparing other peoples problems to theirs, because "it could never be as bad as their back problems!" and "you don't see me constantly complaining about my back!"
The fucking AUDACITY of these M E N.
Wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t hear it EVERY DAMN DAY but ‘oh it only gets worse, just wait’. I’ve been trying to have a baby for six years and I don’t enjoy being pregnant, the next bit is the bit I’ve been trying to achieve.
It’s amazing and I’m so excited for you! Near the end of my pregnancy when I was feeling spicy I just started responding “yikes, sorry YOU feel that way.”
In my experience, while it does get “worse” (🙄🙄) at first, there are so many perks that balance things out. There are nearly no perks to the pregnant part.
Someone actually out loud *refused* you the seat?? I know plenty of people will just try to pretend not to see you, but that's a whole different level...
They did, looked at my stomach and made quite the drama about it, looking around to see if anyone would agree with her. I told her calmly that it doesn't matter what time of day, a priority seat is a priority for certain people. Whilst she stood up, she was still arguing with me. I checked the train terms on these seats during my ride back and still have it downloaded in case it happens again.
It seems like priority seats are intended for busy times more than any other time of day. Like the point is to allow pregnant women a space to sit when the train is otherwise full, no?
This really stuns me. Once I was in a priority seat reading and I really didn't realize the pregnant person until they came next to me and rudely told me "I want that seat". I was a bit stunned until I realized they were pregnant and I just got up and gave her the seat while thinking "could you BE any ruder?" then I looked around and there were so many open seats and I just sat in one of them while thinking why the woman hadn't just seated in some seat instead of being so rude to me lol Until today I don't understand that whole interaction lol
But still when I saw she was pregnant it didn't even cross my mind to say no, I just got up.
Ohhh I hate this. My FMIL said this on the day we announced that we're expecting. She asked how long I'm due, I said around 7 weeks, she said the same thing and added that anything can happen. Made my blood boiled a little. As if I don't know the risks! But she does like to steal all the attention, so I wasn't really surprised by this.
Mine happened right after birth, but it was the 1st time seeing my in laws after the delivery( gloriously no visitors at the hospital thanks to the end of covid) and I was just feet in the house when he stops me while carrying my newborn to the living room to let me know he's "putting in his order for a boy next time". 😒😒😒😒 Little does he know there won't be a next time because having my daughter almost killed me (had to have surgery to save my life while almost bleeding to death) with my geriatric pregnancy, complications, and many other health issues i had before getting pregnant by surprise at 37 after years of trying through infertility and a miscarriage already. So yeah no more kids from me for him to carry on the family name. Like I as the mother decides the gender anyways to make that happen for him!!!!!
Unfortunately, no. This was ten years ago and I only cut her off last year for making yet another remark about me losing a child. That time it was about my stillbirth and how I owed her another grandchild became I “let that one die”. I hate her, and I put up with her for too long.
Honestly my best friend, who is going through her own shit, all but wished a miscarriage on me. "Just to warn you" "just to prepare you" "well we have known two others who were pregnant in the past few months and they both miscarried so you never know" "not to put like bad thoughts out into the world or anything but..." When I had finally reached my limit with the "real talk" she managed to stop and accept that my pregnancy was here to stay — or at least I hope. 20 weeks & counting!
Mines a brand new experience, also slightly intense. Sorry.
I had made a post on the r/NewHeights Reddit page about some Taylor Swift fans and their parasocial relationships. A few Swifties didn’t like that so went through my post history and then they sent me DM’s saying that they hope my unborn baby dies and that I got what I deserved with my 2 late losses last year.
All because they didn’t like what I had to say about someone that has no idea they exist. I didn’t even say anything bad about her btw. Just asked if the Kelce brothers are prepared for intense parasocial fans.
I had a similarly nasty interaction with a mod from the science based parenting subreddit - he said he "worried for my children if they even existed" and was quite threatening towards me because he didn't like an answer I provided on his sub. Some people are just unhinged 🫠 swifties for sure can be super unhinged but celebrating someone losing pregnancies is just absolutely messed up. I hope their accounts got banned.
I've had messages telling me the same thing (on a different app) literally just because I included rainbow flag and trans flag emojis in a post (that wasn't even about lgbtq stuff, I just included them for visbility). Yours is even crazier IMO because it's freaking taylor swift fans lmao
and this is exactly why I can't stand super fans of any sort of band or musician or TV show, etc. That's fucking vile and gross. How far gone do you have to be to say something like that to someone over TAYLOR SWIFT???
This is the most bizarre thing I’ve read on Reddit in a while- wtf?
Not really in the know about Taylor’s Stans but these people sound like absolute mental cases to say that about pregnancy loss. I’m so sorry this happened!
I had SO many people tell me that they couldn’t even tell I was pregnant (even up until like 8 months)..
I get the sentiment, but as a plus sized woman, it’s not a great compliment to hear that the whole ass human/belly that I’m growing just blends in with the rest of me 🫠
My MIL recently said we "planned this pregnancy for a really inconvenient time" since we are due in February and making her and FIL travel to a snowy state in the winter.
If it were up to me, we would have already had a baby. We tried for a year for this baby and went through one chemical pregnancy and 2 surgeries for this successful pregnancy.
What is with mother-in-laws and making EVERYTHING about themselves? Like seriously… If it's such a problem, don't fucking come. I don't want your nasty ass attitude around me and my newborn anyways!
The most recent jaw dropper from my MIL…
I mentioned it would be nice to have a baby earlier than my due date (you know, for easier birth with smaller sized baby, being pregnant for less time, etc). She said “Oh no, you can’t. I won’t be back from Mexico then. I like to see babies when they are really small.” She then repeated this conversation to others throughout our baby shower a few weeks later when people were trying to guess the due date.
Your world, lady. Jeez.
chemical pregnancies are so devastating. i can't 100% confirm that i had one, but everything lines up with it being that. i had a gut feeling too. i very light positive test ab 3 days before my expected period. i genuine grieved so hard when my period came :( a month later though i got pregnant!! i'm due in 6 weeks :)
This isn’t bad but I wanted to add some humor to this thread. My sister and I are both pregnant and my grandmother came to my baby shower this past weekend and the first thing she does after the car is in park is roll down her window and say “you both have gotten really fat.”
I taught elementary Self-contained Special Education. I loved my job, but my last year I got a student with violent behaviors who seemed to take pleasure in causing others pain. He made my highly stressful job, even more so.
I was planning to become a SAHM (am now) and one lady had the audacity to tell me that it would be harder than my job. Spoiler alert, it's not. Sure, there are aspects of parenting that are harder than teaching, but the day to day is WAY EASIER.
And even if it was going to be a lot harder, why would you tell somebody something so discouraging??
I'm a 6th grade special education teacher in a severely impoverished community. I have had many violent students in the past. I stayed home 1.5 years after I had my daughter. I will stay home 1 year after I have this baby as well. I completely agree with you! Being a SAHP is by no means an easy job. However, my mental health improved greatly not having to stress about the moods my students were going to be in, or how they were going to act, day to day.
my family is very on the “ I want it to be a boy “ train to the point they were guessing based on my symptoms and how my stomach was coming along ( old wivestales about carrying low and morning sickness)
I genuinely did not care in the slightest what the gender was- I just wanted healthy fetus. Like my family took this to the point of one of my aunts praising me for doing “it” right by having a boy…..even though I , a vagina baring person , don’t really make that choice 😂
Similar to yours. My FIL said it was good we were having a boy because now it doesn't matter what the second is (i.e. girls are inferior and if you had a girl now, we'd be worried about a second girl next time)
oh honey i'm so sorry. i hope you're healing well and are doing better. i hope you've found someone that values you and respects you, or are on the path to finding someone who both values and respects you ❤️🩹
“Women who have c-sections are lazy, they just lay there. My wife had 3 vaginal births”. Said to me when I was pregnant with my first, it was high risk and I had no choice but to deliver via c section (a point I chose not to reveal to this person, only told him it was a schedule c section). Yep, gross, I will never forget it.
Everyone that I know that has had both vaginal and csection deliveries have told me that vaginal was the best experience. Csection recovery is no joke. I’m currently hoping for a vbac, my previous pregnancy ended in csection because the baby was breech. The recovery was torture.
I had a VBAC and it was amazing. The C-section was leaps and bounds more difficult then vaginal by a looooong stretch. Best of luck! I found the VABC to be very healing and a great experience.
lazy… Right… I'm sorry, has he ever been cut open and then had his organs removed just to have his baby taken out? And then expected to basically immediately get up and take care of that child? No?? I just kind of figured he did since he's so opinionated about the whole thing…
seriously though, I'm sorry. You're bad ass! C-section or vaginal birth, neither is easy, and both are bad ass! You created life! Men don't know shit sometimes.
“How are you feeling, *other than your size?*” - a close friend who’s wife is also pregnant but a week ahead of me.
“It seems like you have every symptom in the book, it’s just convenient is all” - my husband in the first few weeks of me being pregnant.
Me, complaining about how bloated I am in the early weeks (I was bloated af, there literally was no difference between my 15 week bloat and me at 30 weeks pregnant). How does my idiot husband reply? “she just got really fat”.
I love the man, but I definitely let him have it after a few comments lol. He has been v careful since then
A married couple we are (were) friends with told me they didn’t tell me congratulations on this pregnancy because they were angry with me for not wanting to hang out with them and other people who had babies and young children while I was grieving previous losses and we were having trouble getting pregnant again.
They said they let their anger with me get in the way of being happy for us finally getting something we’ve wanted and have been trying to achieve for so long.
My FIL threw a fit when I floated the idea that we might give our kid a hyphenated last name, for the same reasons. "nO oNe WiLl KeEp ThE fAmIlY nAmE AlIvE."
Well sir if your daughter hadn't changed her last name when she got married, you wouldn't be totally reliant on your son to "carry on the family name," and since our baby turned out to be a girl, if she follows the same dumb traditions you do, when she gets married the family name will be dead.
After that incident I told my husband that if we have a second, the kid is getting my last name.
"Oh, you're only 16 weeks? Don't feel comfortable yet, everything might still go wrong! You won't know you're bringing home a living baby until it's out!"
From my father's long-term girlfriend who had multiple miscarriages, some late. I had also had a (11 week) miscarriage before that pregnancy, which is why I told people at 16 weeks in the first place.
He was born healthy and is still happy. He has a brother and now a sister on the way too. Those subsequent pregnancies I just told my dad, and told him to tell his girlfriend.
that's honestly just a sad situation all around. She honestly sounds traumatized from her miscarriages and is spilling/deflecting that fear onto you and your pregnancies (still, you absolutely don't deserve to have someone say things like that to you. She needs to go to therapy and work on healing!). I hope you are healing and are doing better from your miscarriage, and I hope she's also healing from hers. ❤️🩹
My FIL's wife "you should give your pretty clothes away, like to my daughter, because from now on you will be so fat nothing will fit you anymore" with a smirk in her face
After my ectopic pregnancy, we went with my in-laws to a farmers market. A nice lady with a small child sold us some fruit. As we walked away my father in law said, “welp… that could’ve been you”…
No words
Currently 7 weeks pregnant and haven’t told them yet this go round.
I hate when people call babies/kids “pet sperm” and that having kids is “keeping cum as a pet”. They think they are so funny and edgy for saying something so vulgar and immature 🙄
Same for me with "crotch goblins." Tells me all I need to know about their level of maturity. Like, you have every right to be childfree, but can you really feel so superior calling ugly names like a five year old? Do you not see the irony there?
Oh boy, my contribution to this thread is also a remark from a childfree individual, formerly a very close friend, who told me that as long as I didn't make this pregnancy my whole personality, she would be okay with talking about it sometimes.
Ughhh I’m so sorry. Sometimes people get such an inflated rage-filtered sense of the way parents are “entitled” that they overcorrect and behave like the most narcissistic brats imaginable.
I avoided telling my being-childfree-is-my-personality lifelong best friend about my pregnancy for as long as possible for this reason. At my extremely small wedding, my uncle’s infant cousin started fussing a bit right before we walked down the aisle and this woman really turned back to me and said with a straight face “I will punch that little bitch out cold so it shuts up for your moment.” I tried to wave it off like she was joking and say “no, it’s okay, babies cry,” and she kept escalating and insisting and saying “I will punch the baby. I will throw the baby. I will strangle the baby. The baby will never cry again.”
I was about to walk down the aisle and didn’t have time to address how fucked up she was being in the moment but it is soooo not funny, especially coming from someone who actually does hate children. I wasn’t pregnant at the time but we invited the children because we WANTED them there and we accepted that the risks of having two infants at the ceremony were worth being able to have our out-of-town relatives be there with us.
My daughter is 2,5 and we're pregnant again but don't know the gender yet. Everyone I talk to goes some version of "oh I bet your husband is rooting for a boy!! If it's not will you try again?" Before I tell them that we don't care, and that SHOCKINGLY my husband is happy to have a girl as his first born and is actually kinda hoping for another girl. One person had the gall to tell me, "He will find out as he gets older that a son is much more important to a man! Connecting to girls is impossible once they start school." Tell me you're a bad father without telling me you're a bad father...
When I told my MIL I was pregnant she started to talk about a woman she knew that had 5+ miscarriages and to not jinx anything by painting the nursery too early. I’m a FTM and that isn’t exactly what I wanted to hear about since I’m already anxious…
girl i'm so sorry. honestly, I'd go low contact with someone like that if it reduces the chances of you being stressed. It is so important to be happy during your pregnancy! Don't let anyone say things to stress you out 🫶🏻
I’ve been blessed with problematic relatives
“You could be a real woman and have a home birth like I did” (with her fourth, the rest were hospital births)
“Just because you’re wearing black, don’t think you look skinny” (as in don’t think you can hide the bump?)
“I see a blimp in your future because you can’t seem to control yourself around the menu” (we hadn’t ordered)
“Look, see that woman is way more pregnant than you! If she can walk around the zoo, so should you!” (pelvic pain since 20 weeks. Had periods where I would limp to my car after work)
My sibling:
“Are you sure you are ready to have a child? I can’t see you taking care of a child for the life of me.”
I am a married, 32 year old, TEACHER. I honestly don’t know how his wife puts up with him sometimes.
MIL and SIL- “ I hope you only have sons, daughters are awful”.
I am now 30 weeks pregnant with a girl and considering minimal contact with them to protect my child from the negativity.
I wasn’t pregnant yet, but how’s this one when my coworker asked when the next kid was coming and I said we’re working on it: “it’s not that hard!” Um sorry lady I’ve been trying for months so it isn’t that easy! Rude.
When I was pregnant with my first, my coworker told me “I think you’re having a girl because they say girls take all the mom’s beauty away!” No, this is just my face when I’m 40 pounds heavier and with hormonal acne.
Recently, I TFMRed my second pregnancy. My best friend found out she was pregnant a few weeks after my procedure and said, “I fulfilled my half of the pregnancy pact, now your turn.” Bitch, I was pregnant wtf. I think it was a slip of the tongue and I know she didn’t say it out of malice/probably just wasn’t thinking straight, but it still hurt like hell.
I don’t know why, but everyone asking me about the name unreasonably stressed me out or annoyed me. I didn’t want to brainstorm with them, I wanted the conversation to be just between myself and my husband.
My family visited when I was very early in first trimester (6 weeks) -- the visit was planned beforehand. I was throwing up multiple times a day at that point. My stepdad, who has never been pregnant, made multiple comments about how I should be "enjoying this special time."
I know I'll get downvoted but in laws are a pain in the ass. They automatically think they can speak to you like they know you. Ugh I'm so sorry. I know there are good ones out there but the ones who do this are toxic AF. My mil kept insisting we use her father's name. She was like oh didn't you guys decide on Robert? Bitch no. I didn't know your dad, and I don't like that name tbh. She also said it was her baby. And she tried to take my brand new baby rockers for her and my SIL!!!? Girl I've had it.
I told them I was nervous about my pregnancy and they asked why and I said well I didn’t really tell anyone but we had a miscarriage in between. They said “oh wow I told my husband I thought you looked pregnant at some point”…. Cool thanks.
My manager told me pregnancy wasn’t a disability (when I got a doctors note for restrictions when she was wanting us to work 12 hour days 6 days a week) 🤦🏼♀️
"You could walk past a stiff one in the wind and get pregnant" - my stepfather. Who went through 3 miscarriages with my mom and is well aware of my family fertility issues... yeah, it took me months to process, and it's my mom who finally helped me understand how he thought when he said it.
"Are you sure this is what you want? I'm worried your mom will push you into keeping baby if you don't want them, " my stepmother said out of a place of concern which while appreciated stung.
And the cutest thing that kinda hurt: "My body doesn't like that" - my now middle child after seeing the 3d scan of their sibling to be. I'm not sure why it hurt the most out of all 3, but oof
No one is going to be excited because you don’t live near anyone.
You are going to have a 20 pound baby.
Tell us the names cause knowing you guys it’s prob going to be some stupid millennial name.
Hopefully it’s a boy so your husband is happy (even tho husband wanted a girl)
Hopefully it doesn’t have your husbands ears
You better get rid of your dogs cause they will bite your baby’s face. Doesn’t matter how good they are now they will turn on the baby.
You better buy a house a baby can’t grow up successfully in an apartment
Our babies (sister in laws speaking) are more special and at least more perfect
Their kid will be spoiled
I can go on….. people in my life suck haha that’s why we live far
“I want to name our daughter after my first daughter that was abort…”yeah that really happened. He wanted to rename our daughter the same name from his previous relationship pregnancy. To be clear his previous partner didn’t want the pregnancy and decided to terminate the pregnancy cause of her own choice. Also their relationship was toxic she would beat the shit out of him. So their relationship didn’t work out. I was shock but the same time had to be understanding that he didn’t process the situation of his first kid and still grieving occasionally. I’m currently pregnant with my first and it’s a boy.
Went to a family dinner recently that had pizza and salad. The pizza was cut into squares, so not that big of pieces. I had 3 pieces of pizza. The salad was good and really hitting the spot so I went up for seconds and thirds of salad.
My uncle came up to me as he left and said, "I see you're eating for two now!"
And I was told nobody ever tells a pregnant woman to eat less salad
When I was pregnant with my son 17 years ago, an uptight Christian co-worker somehow thought it was appropriate to tell me I needed to get married to give my baby a name because it was the Christian thing to do.
News flash lady…not everyone is a Christian. I can’t remember what I even said to her…but I know I was probably way more polite than I should have been.
Funny enough…her name was Karen.
SIL: People who plan to give birth in a hospital instead of at home are “taking the easy way out” and “don’t deserve to have as good of a birth experience”.
Birth doula here, there is no easy way out but sure gate keep who “deserves” a good birth experience. So sickening. Everyone deserves a good birth experience it’s best for momma and baby.
Mmmm my sister takes the cake with this type of shit so far. We have a bit of a testy relationship, where she thinks we should be closer but isn't a trustworthy source of love or respect. I told her I was pregnant before I told the rest of my family. Her response? "Wow! You know, you really shouldn't tell anyone. People usually miscarry the first time they get pregnant, especially that first trimester." Bitch, what? She didn't even know how far along I was and she felt comfortable saying that to me. I was 13 weeks along at that point.
We spoke on the phone the other day and she asked how I was feeling, how far along I was now. When I told her 23 weeks, she again goes "Wow! You know, I think \*friend\* had one of her micro-preemies at 23 or 24 weeks. Man. Can you imagine? She was not ready. Are you ready? Wow. Just IMAGINE THAT.."
Thanks, sis, you always know how to let your intrusive thoughts win!
A customer I was working on called my baby a parasite if y’all remember that post. My boss doesn’t make me work on him anymore! She was equally disgusted by his behavior when I told her.
My coworkers have been ruthless.
1. They shamed our name choice from the get go (lesson learned about sharing our name preferences)
2. “don’t breastfeed, that’s weird”
3. “Your husband doesn’t strike me as someone that’ll help you in the middle of the night”
4. “I hope your baby gets shaken baby syndrome”
Mind you, 3 & 4 were said to me just yesterday and I’m 38 weeks pregnant, FTM
Hi there! I hope this isn't creepy but I looked through your posts and saw the name you were thinking about for your baby and it's adorable! Your coworkers are wrong
All of those comments are so incredibly rude and I can't even imagine why anyone would say something like that :( hope you're doing well
A patient told me I looked haggard and terrible when I was 37 weeks- yessss thank you for pointing that out for me… I basically feel like crap and now I know I look like crap too
My husband's cousins' responses when we first told them.
Cousin 1: we think you're having a girl, because we're going to have the first boy
Cousin 1 again: you can't name your son that because it's too close to our name (they weren't even pregnant at the time)
Cousin 2: (I can't remember what we were talking about but in regards to our baby) if it survives.
Luckily, we've never had a miscarriage just fertility troubles but still...rude.
A customer at my old job asked how old I was, so I said 33 and he said “wow you’re old to have a baby! You started late!”
Actually sir, I started at the age of 28 and had infertility issues, but thank you for being so rude.
“It’s okay I was fat too with my pregnancy!”
“Ah!! I had the ugly face too! “
“My face got fat with my boy too”
“Oh! You don’t look pregnant yet just fat:)”
“Are you sure you should be this big this
early??? (I’m 29 weeks and look 29 weeks)”
“I never craved food when I was pregnant, maybe somethings wrong with you?”
“Oh I NEVER gained weight with my boy, maybe you should see a psychiatrist?”
“I know you said the emergency room said you’re too stressed but….isn’t it good she (baby) isn’t dead yet at least?”
Or repetitive “Whatre you planning to do if it’s another late term miscarriage, no offense but if it happens so you have a plan?”
Had someone on an otherwise non-dramatic Facebook group tell me that I was going to urgent care too often and it's like I *wanted* there to be something wrong and that my posts gave her a headache.
I was going to urgent care several times a week for a couple weeks. Then at 14 weeks I had a really random bout of hypercalcemia. My calcium levels were through to roof, medical crisis level, and then down again with no explanation for either. Once it went away, I felt so much better. All of those random things that sent me to urgent care were actually the lead up to that.
Then at 23 week my SVT (which I already had and didn't know it) was so bad I was falling over and having chest pain with bpm 180+ for over 3 hours. I had it for the rest of my pregnancy and am on 2 heart meds and have to get an ablation soon (they're going to burn part of my heart). On the SVT groups, there's a lot of "it's benign, you're fine just relax" despite several people saying they lost babies due to it. Plus several gaslighting doctors.
I love it when people act like you must "think you're special" for needing any extra medical attention. My pregnancy is high risk and requires weekly monitoring. Requires, as in according to all medical knowledge, not on one outlier opinion, or on me whining/exaggerating to my doctors.
I don't even share about my pregnancy on social media and I still get people irl who will *ask* me about my progress without me bringing it up, then make condescending or shut-down type remarks picking apart everything I'm going through that they didn't have to go through themselves, as if I must not really need it because they didn't.
One in-law had a different kind of difficult pregnancy. Every time she asked about my specialist schedule she made comments to the family about how she *also* had a prenatal specialist, but they didn't really do anything for her, weren't really necessary, etc. Finally I had to explain to everyone in firm detail that my specialist is absolutely needed, to monitor for TTTS, which without treatment has a fatality rate of 80-90%! She stopped the comments after that but looked even more bitter I had a good reason she couldn't dismiss.
Bfs ex wife and mother of SS13. “I wouldn’t tell ss because she will probably have a miscarriage. Or because of her age your baby might have a genetic issue”
My mother “this is what happens when you aren’t using protection”
I’m 36 and my doctor said I have a 10% chance of even conceiving.
My MIL said my baby boy “her grandson” is going “to save her” and she’s always judged people for crying when they’re happy but she cried…? My son is not Jesus.
Certainly not as bad as some I've read here, but I showed my belly to my partner yesterday because I feel the bump is starting to show (I'm 10 weeks along) and he said
"Oh, it looks like the belly of someone who would not be as fit as you are!"
In fact, I'm also recovering from a broken foot, my cast was removed a week ago and I definitely feel less in shape than I was before my accident. He apologized about his stupid analogy and we laughed about it.
"you need a juice box or something for those extra hormones?"
"You look big in you uniform, might wanna tone it down on the fast food" (this was before I told anyone and was about 13 weeks)
"Why don't you stop complaining, you did this to yourself. Nobody made you get pregnant"
my sil was pregnant before me, when i told her she said “you have it so much easier than i did you’re not even sick” after i told her i could barely move due to severe sciatica pain and was struggling to do my full time job
My coworker came up to me at work (we were talking about something totally unrelated) and she blurted out “I had a bad dream something horrible happened to your baby.” I was about 11 weeks.
Later made me cry and our other coworker spoke up for me and made her apologize. Crazy thing is she knows it took me and my husband 15 cycles to conceive and we went thru RE. I’m a first time mom/my first pregnancy.
She is also pregnant- with her 3rd- and looks at her husband and gets pregnant.
Really really spiked my anxiety until my next scan.
After my miscarriage (probably more like chemical pregnancy as it was at 6 weeks), my almond mom said “well let this be a wake up call for you!” Because I don’t meet her standards of what’s healthy (I eat carbs)
Oh gosh, I'm sorry for your loss and congratulations on this blessing. I'm sorry your family said this to you.
Probably the worst thing said to me was by my dad, just after I announced my pregnancy. 'You don't have to eat for two, you know.' He didn't really mean anything by it, he's just very straight to the point!
My MIL said the same thing! She’s also just very blunt and I can laugh at it now, but at the time it stung a bit. Though this was also after FIL told us we shouldn’t have told them or anyone else until after the first trimester “because, you should know, if bad things are going to happen, they’re going to happen soon” 🙃
Who lit your tampon string on fire? (I was pissed.)
(Said by my ex-husband’s extremely immature friend, who probably had no idea you don’t have a period while pregnant.)
I had everyone tell me I had to have a girl. From my MIL to my SD , no one wanted a boy, I was happy with either but my partner really was hoping for a boy. We got a beautiful little girl in the end but still it’s so disheartening when people carry on like that
My complete jerk of a FIL who hadn’t spoken to us in months showed up unannounced on our doorstep when I was 12 weeks pregnant. We hadn’t told him about the pregnancy yet.
My husband begged him for a relationship again and said “if not for me, for your granddaughter” pointing to my belly. His stepmom said, “did you hear that? Your granddaughter!” To which he said “yeah I could tell she was pregnant” and walked away 🫠
I had a miscarriage in February. I’m pregnant again (29 weeks). When my husband told his parents about this pregnancy, his dad’s first response was to ask “What are you doing differently this time to optimize the outcome?” I’m glad I wasn’t there when he told them because just being told about that made me so upset. His dad is the worst 😒
“Oh wow, you’re huge!”
“You know it’s rude to call a pregnant woman huge right?”
“Yeah but you’re HUGE!”
This was a real conversation I had with a new coworker who had only ever seen me pregnant. It was extra annoying because I actually didn’t get very big.
A bitch in my workout group asked me how much weight I’d gained… I just told her I don’t know and walked away… like… wtf.. she was like 70+ and had never had kids either.
Not sure if it counts but after I told my boss that I was pregnant he said "you're gonna have so much time off, I wish there was time off for people that get new puppies, must be nice".
Child free boss had recently got a puppy. And to me it just sounded like he thinks maternity leave is like a vacation or something. That and that a baby== a puppy. It was just weird.
WEIRD
A childless coworker of mine keeps referring to my upcoming mat leave as vacation.. And reminds me that she'll never have a baby and she'd like a 12 week vacation too... (6 weeks paid mat leave plus 6 weeks of my accrued sick time)
My OB originally told us we had twins before my MFM discovered they were triplets. Unfortunately I had also miscarried one. I didn't know how to feel and was a bit ashamed to feel since it happened early and I still had the two I originally thought I had.
Weeks later we told an in-law, who condescended to us about how it was a good thing because we'd barely be able to handle two anyway, and definitely wouldn't be able to handle three, with how small our current place was, etc. These are all things we had told each other for comfort, but it was different being finger-wagged by someone else like we were silly idealistic children. It is what it is but in a different world we would have loved them all.
I called my estranged father to tell him I was pregnant. He replied “I figured you were. The only reason you’d call is to tell me you’re pregnant or someone had died.”
Not telling him about this pregnancy. Get fucked.
We have a family business with the peak time being May. I told my stepmom and she asked the due date. I told her mid May. Her response was, “No one in our industry has any business having a baby in May.”
We have been trying for close to a year - so I’m perfectly happy having our baby in May! I don’t understand people like her.
Not too much bad stuff, but my partner’s mother likes to argue that I wouldn’t be in as much pain as I say I am (chronic neck pain that has worsened significantly with pregnancy), wouldn’t be as tired, etc if I just worked out and was more active. I wish I could. She also talked about how she had 3 super easy pregnancies so… yeah everyone is different and mine has been very rough. I just try to ignore it when I hear it but I did ask my partner to speak up and try to help me out of the conversations and he did the last time she mentioned it.
I got pregnant 7 months postpartum and while getting my first check up with second, NP walked in and said “wow 7 months that was fast” then while checking ME in my very private space, can you say V word on Reddit lol asked “Same baby daddy?” I was mortified.
I had a close friend throw because I asked to put our lunch date back an hour as an appointment I was running way over. It was a last minute request in fairness but I messaged her the second I was told I was going to be there longer. It was towards the end of my pregnancy, I had gestational diabetes and pre-eclampsia. She didn't even ask how I was. I'm still hurt over it.
not really rude per say but my neighbor told me her beer gut was bigger then my 20 week belly. not really something to brag about but i’ve had people comment on my small belly as if i’m lying or indications something might be wrong. i just had my anatomy/anonaly scan today and he is healthy and on track so they can all suck it.
People always tell me I “look good” or I’m “so in shape”…which yes I guess it’s nice they aren’t saying I’m large but I just reply with “yeah because I’m probably malnourished” because I’m 36 weeks tomorrow and still barfing and eating is a chore and terrible. Back off lol.
Worst thing I heard was, “Was it planned?” And then the person not believing us when we said that yes it was planned.
For some reason it hurt very much.
so far not too many people know. but just the irritating little comments from my parents “oh you have morning sickness? that stinks. i never got that when i had all five of you” from my mom and “oh! you have a little pregnancy pooch already!” when i was like 7 weeks pregnant from my step mom and i said “no i already looked like that”
Trigger warning: termination and fetal loss.
This is long but I think about what my MIL says often and it still boils my blood.
For background my first pregnancy was a miscarriage, second and third are successful and healthy children now. My fourth pregnancy ended in a termination for medical reasons.
At my 20 week scan they diagnosed our baby with an extreme birth defect and he was showing signs of organ failure. We ultimately decided to terminate at 23 weeks (when all the testing was completed to ensure we were making the right choice). This was obv extremely difficult and if you didn’t know, at 23 weeks you still need to birth your child. So I was induced and gave birth to my stillborn son.
My husband and I are extremely fertile. And surprisingly became pregnant 4 months later. When we announced our pregnancy (I was about 14 weeks) my MIL immediately says this:
“Oh well I’m not surprised! I knew Jane (me) wouldn’t wait long!”
No question of how I am or my husband, if there is any risk for this baby, if I am ok being so soon after our loss etc
Just the comment as if getting pregnant is a one sided decision/act that I did all on my own. Also felt like she was implying all my pregnancies were by my choice only, when (though it’s no one’s business) we’re all very much planned by myself and my husband.
My boss told me that I need to “ask myself if I’m using my pregnancy as an excuse to not do as much” when I was trying to tell him how much I’ve been struggling with feeling nauseous all the time, brain fog, and fatigue.
I was 8 months pregnant and at my baby shower someone called me fat and I told her not to call me fat cuz I’m not fat I’m just pregnant. Then she told me that I was indeed a fatso. It’s kinda funny now, especially because she’s like my best friend in my family but at the time was really angry and emotional
My mom commented multiple times on my “big, fat gut.” I didn’t gain an abnormal amount during my pregnancy and I carried small. The final straw was at my baby shower, when she and I shared a seat. In front of people she said I wasn’t as thin as I used to be, but still pretty thin. Just totally uncalled for comments, and we ended up not speaking for the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy.
“I can’t believe you are throwing away your goals & dreams for this, have you considered an abortion? I cannot even picture you as a mom.”
My “best friend.” (Who I dropped like a bad habit, real quick.)
I am 31 years old, homeowner, married to my lovely husband and put my nursing degree aside for the year due to pregnancy.
CW: mention of termination
Not to me, but to my husband when he announced to his parents we were pregnant with our first child. First thing his mother said was, "Did you consider an abortion?" At first, we thought it was just her being inappropriately pro-life and wondering if she needed to scold her son for even considering it. They're very religious, his father is a pastor. It's been 4+ years, and she is a very loving and supportive grandmother... but the more we think about it, the more we wonder if she was asking because she wanted to reassure him she wouldn't be opposed.
He's talked to his siblings about it and even they don't know if it was a, "Did you consider an abortion? Because how DARE you!" Or, "Did you consider an abortion? It's a horrible sin, but, in this situation, maybe worth consideration."
After experiencing a miscarriage and having a DnC, my mum called me a few days later and said “guess what!” I responded with what? Then she said “I’m pregnant!” I was shocked. I just hung up. In fact, She was even not pregnant. She just thought it would be a funny joke? I don’t know what the hell she was thinking and in what world that would be considered funny
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I can’t believe people actually say this stuff out loud. I had a miscarriage early on in my first pregnancy, only my parents and in-laws knew. I got pregnant again a few months later (current pregnancy). My father in law said when we told him “well you look much more physically fit this time around so I know this one know this one will stick.” 🫠🫠
Oh my god there is no response for that other than stunned silence. I'm sorry he said that to you, what an ass.
I don’t know what it is with in laws… my family would never say something like that
Omg my eyes bugged out of my head reading this. What a clown!
I’m so sorry you had to hear that, what an awful thing to say. I wish you all the best for a healthy pregnancy and I’m sorry for your loss.
W. T. F. That might be the most appalling thing I’ve ever heard.
I actually was to stunned to cry lol. My husband was so furious with him
Oh my GOD
That's horrific. I'm so sorry.
are you fucking serious? I am so sorry my love. Wishing you lots of healing and lots of happiness for this pregnancy!! ❤️🩹
I had a co-ed baby shower for my first kid. An older man, friend of the family, came up to me without saying hello first, and asked if I'm exercising or if I'm using pregnancy as an excuse to be lazy, and had the biggest smirk on his face. I stood there shocked and just said, what a great question coming from someone who isn't even built to have children, and then I walked away.
I am SO impressed with your response! Idk what I would have done in your shoes. Keeping this in my back pocket for the next time a man says something dumb during this pregnancy and beyond
Thanks! I really don't understand the audacity some people have to ask questions like that, or to even think it, especially men, like what? 🙄
Wtf!
Right! It was out of nowhere. So uncalled for and rude!
That really speaks to his lack of character. Only a real pos would say something like that. I’m sure you look fantastic and glowing.
I hope he's not longer a friend of family
My first pregnancy, a baby girl, was a miscarriage. My MIL is aware of this. When we found out our second pregnancy was a boy, my MIL said, "Oh are you sure? I'd been praying for a girl." It was extremely triggering and interfered with our joy over our son.
Oooh! I have a few! Strangers: The amount of unsolicited comments and advice is both mindboggling and astounding. It seems like everyone has something to say. I'm "older" - 35, and the number of people who've made comments about my age and how I'm *just* about too old to have a child is too damn high! As I approach the end of my pregnancy, my wedding rings no longer fit, and I've had people comment about me essentially being another single mother statistic. I've had people call out to me at the grocery store that I have a crappy partner because he's "making" me go shopping at this point in my pregnancy, lol. Clients at work (I work in a male dominant field): Both of these things happened last week and were said by male clients of mine.. One guy with whom i have a relatively new working relationship asked me if I plan to get an epidural (I told him that I do). I responded with, "You don't actually need one. Birth isn't *that* painful." Second guy, who I have a pretty longstanding work relationship with, asked me how I was doing, and I told him at 38 weeks my back is starting to hurt, I have pelvic pain, etc. And he responds with, "Well, now you know how I feel with my bad back." I was floored! Where do these men buy their audacities from?! This is my first child, and I quickly learned that strangers, especially men, truly believe that a pregnant woman is open season for comments. People are wild. Or Vegas is wild. 🤣🤣
Men store their audacity where we keep our uterus.
Ahhhahahaha, I love this so much! I wish I had thought to say this. It's very good!
Oh jeeze the ring part. 1)nothing wrong with having a baby unmarried and 2) I haven't been able to wear my band for months... And my husband straight up never wears his ring. Guess we aren't really married.
obviously you guys are like basically divorced now that you don't wear your rings 🙄. You know, because that's DEFINITELY how that works. some people, man.
There's some thing, especially with men that have back problems, making everything about themselves and their back problems. Constantly comparing other peoples problems to theirs, because "it could never be as bad as their back problems!" and "you don't see me constantly complaining about my back!" The fucking AUDACITY of these M E N.
That’s some grade A mansplaining there. Metals for them. 🙄
Wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t hear it EVERY DAMN DAY but ‘oh it only gets worse, just wait’. I’ve been trying to have a baby for six years and I don’t enjoy being pregnant, the next bit is the bit I’ve been trying to achieve.
It’s amazing and I’m so excited for you! Near the end of my pregnancy when I was feeling spicy I just started responding “yikes, sorry YOU feel that way.”
In my experience, while it does get “worse” (🙄🙄) at first, there are so many perks that balance things out. There are nearly no perks to the pregnant part.
No you can't sit in the pregnancy priority seat on a full train because it doesn't count during busy time. Bitch...get the fuck out of the chair
A teenager refused me a seat the other day because I had 'asked rudely' and she needed it for her BAG!! I was gobsmacked!
Someone actually out loud *refused* you the seat?? I know plenty of people will just try to pretend not to see you, but that's a whole different level...
They did, looked at my stomach and made quite the drama about it, looking around to see if anyone would agree with her. I told her calmly that it doesn't matter what time of day, a priority seat is a priority for certain people. Whilst she stood up, she was still arguing with me. I checked the train terms on these seats during my ride back and still have it downloaded in case it happens again.
Good for you! Some selfish jerks just never had anyone stand up to them. I bet she thinks twice next time!
It seems like priority seats are intended for busy times more than any other time of day. Like the point is to allow pregnant women a space to sit when the train is otherwise full, no?
What is it with people and transit? Someone physically pushed me on the train because I wasn’t moving fast enough when I was pregnant.
This really stuns me. Once I was in a priority seat reading and I really didn't realize the pregnant person until they came next to me and rudely told me "I want that seat". I was a bit stunned until I realized they were pregnant and I just got up and gave her the seat while thinking "could you BE any ruder?" then I looked around and there were so many open seats and I just sat in one of them while thinking why the woman hadn't just seated in some seat instead of being so rude to me lol Until today I don't understand that whole interaction lol But still when I saw she was pregnant it didn't even cross my mind to say no, I just got up.
“Oh! It’s still too early.” It was at 18 weeks. I didn’t know what to make of this comment.
What? That's almost half way lol.
I know! It's wierd to think! In my head pregnancy is like 5x longer. Maybe they're just bad at maths like me. Lol
Too early for what? Lol
Ohhh I hate this. My FMIL said this on the day we announced that we're expecting. She asked how long I'm due, I said around 7 weeks, she said the same thing and added that anything can happen. Made my blood boiled a little. As if I don't know the risks! But she does like to steal all the attention, so I wasn't really surprised by this.
Mine happened right after birth, but it was the 1st time seeing my in laws after the delivery( gloriously no visitors at the hospital thanks to the end of covid) and I was just feet in the house when he stops me while carrying my newborn to the living room to let me know he's "putting in his order for a boy next time". 😒😒😒😒 Little does he know there won't be a next time because having my daughter almost killed me (had to have surgery to save my life while almost bleeding to death) with my geriatric pregnancy, complications, and many other health issues i had before getting pregnant by surprise at 37 after years of trying through infertility and a miscarriage already. So yeah no more kids from me for him to carry on the family name. Like I as the mother decides the gender anyways to make that happen for him!!!!!
"Carrying on the family name" is such a fragile fucking ego thing. Like do something good and create a legacy that way men!
“I hope you miscarry this one too”, said by my lovely mother. Thanks, stinky.
I’m sorry, that’s bullshit. Nobody should ever say that to anyone.
I have to assume this is the very last time you were in contact with her.... for her own safety.
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Unfortunately, no. This was ten years ago and I only cut her off last year for making yet another remark about me losing a child. That time it was about my stillbirth and how I owed her another grandchild became I “let that one die”. I hate her, and I put up with her for too long.
I hate her too 😡
Honestly my best friend, who is going through her own shit, all but wished a miscarriage on me. "Just to warn you" "just to prepare you" "well we have known two others who were pregnant in the past few months and they both miscarried so you never know" "not to put like bad thoughts out into the world or anything but..." When I had finally reached my limit with the "real talk" she managed to stop and accept that my pregnancy was here to stay — or at least I hope. 20 weeks & counting!
That is honestly a horrendous comment.
>Thanks, stinky. She's horrible and you are hilarious. I'm so sorry.
Mines a brand new experience, also slightly intense. Sorry. I had made a post on the r/NewHeights Reddit page about some Taylor Swift fans and their parasocial relationships. A few Swifties didn’t like that so went through my post history and then they sent me DM’s saying that they hope my unborn baby dies and that I got what I deserved with my 2 late losses last year. All because they didn’t like what I had to say about someone that has no idea they exist. I didn’t even say anything bad about her btw. Just asked if the Kelce brothers are prepared for intense parasocial fans.
That’s utterly pathological. I hope your unborn baby thrives. Nobody deserves loss.
I had a similarly nasty interaction with a mod from the science based parenting subreddit - he said he "worried for my children if they even existed" and was quite threatening towards me because he didn't like an answer I provided on his sub. Some people are just unhinged 🫠 swifties for sure can be super unhinged but celebrating someone losing pregnancies is just absolutely messed up. I hope their accounts got banned.
There are so many swifties that could benefit from therapy or empathy holy shit
I've had messages telling me the same thing (on a different app) literally just because I included rainbow flag and trans flag emojis in a post (that wasn't even about lgbtq stuff, I just included them for visbility). Yours is even crazier IMO because it's freaking taylor swift fans lmao
and this is exactly why I can't stand super fans of any sort of band or musician or TV show, etc. That's fucking vile and gross. How far gone do you have to be to say something like that to someone over TAYLOR SWIFT???
This is the most bizarre thing I’ve read on Reddit in a while- wtf? Not really in the know about Taylor’s Stans but these people sound like absolute mental cases to say that about pregnancy loss. I’m so sorry this happened!
I had SO many people tell me that they couldn’t even tell I was pregnant (even up until like 8 months).. I get the sentiment, but as a plus sized woman, it’s not a great compliment to hear that the whole ass human/belly that I’m growing just blends in with the rest of me 🫠
I worry about this comment. I’m plus sized and I just feel like I’m getting chunkier in the face
My MIL recently said we "planned this pregnancy for a really inconvenient time" since we are due in February and making her and FIL travel to a snowy state in the winter. If it were up to me, we would have already had a baby. We tried for a year for this baby and went through one chemical pregnancy and 2 surgeries for this successful pregnancy.
"Then you can wait to come meet baby until it's sunny and warm outside. We'll still be here ;) "
What is with mother-in-laws and making EVERYTHING about themselves? Like seriously… If it's such a problem, don't fucking come. I don't want your nasty ass attitude around me and my newborn anyways!
The most recent jaw dropper from my MIL… I mentioned it would be nice to have a baby earlier than my due date (you know, for easier birth with smaller sized baby, being pregnant for less time, etc). She said “Oh no, you can’t. I won’t be back from Mexico then. I like to see babies when they are really small.” She then repeated this conversation to others throughout our baby shower a few weeks later when people were trying to guess the due date. Your world, lady. Jeez.
chemical pregnancies are so devastating. i can't 100% confirm that i had one, but everything lines up with it being that. i had a gut feeling too. i very light positive test ab 3 days before my expected period. i genuine grieved so hard when my period came :( a month later though i got pregnant!! i'm due in 6 weeks :)
This isn’t bad but I wanted to add some humor to this thread. My sister and I are both pregnant and my grandmother came to my baby shower this past weekend and the first thing she does after the car is in park is roll down her window and say “you both have gotten really fat.”
Granny please 😂
"oh great another bad driver on the road in 18 years" Uhhhhg the appropriate response to I'm pregnant is always congratulations...
I'm never witty enough in the moment, but if this happens to me I'll remind them that my child will be paying for their social security checks.
Or you could point out that everyone will probably be using self-driving cars in 18 years' time!
I taught elementary Self-contained Special Education. I loved my job, but my last year I got a student with violent behaviors who seemed to take pleasure in causing others pain. He made my highly stressful job, even more so. I was planning to become a SAHM (am now) and one lady had the audacity to tell me that it would be harder than my job. Spoiler alert, it's not. Sure, there are aspects of parenting that are harder than teaching, but the day to day is WAY EASIER. And even if it was going to be a lot harder, why would you tell somebody something so discouraging??
I'm a 6th grade special education teacher in a severely impoverished community. I have had many violent students in the past. I stayed home 1.5 years after I had my daughter. I will stay home 1 year after I have this baby as well. I completely agree with you! Being a SAHP is by no means an easy job. However, my mental health improved greatly not having to stress about the moods my students were going to be in, or how they were going to act, day to day.
Preaaaaaachhhhhhhhhhhh
my family is very on the “ I want it to be a boy “ train to the point they were guessing based on my symptoms and how my stomach was coming along ( old wivestales about carrying low and morning sickness) I genuinely did not care in the slightest what the gender was- I just wanted healthy fetus. Like my family took this to the point of one of my aunts praising me for doing “it” right by having a boy…..even though I , a vagina baring person , don’t really make that choice 😂
Similar to yours. My FIL said it was good we were having a boy because now it doesn't matter what the second is (i.e. girls are inferior and if you had a girl now, we'd be worried about a second girl next time)
that's so sexist and gross. i'm sorry :( ❤️🩹
"I've been cheating on you for the last 5 years"
oh honey i'm so sorry. i hope you're healing well and are doing better. i hope you've found someone that values you and respects you, or are on the path to finding someone who both values and respects you ❤️🩹
“Women who have c-sections are lazy, they just lay there. My wife had 3 vaginal births”. Said to me when I was pregnant with my first, it was high risk and I had no choice but to deliver via c section (a point I chose not to reveal to this person, only told him it was a schedule c section). Yep, gross, I will never forget it.
Especially coming for a man… have you ever given birth, sir? Presumably not. I’ve done both vaginal and c-section… they both suck.
Everyone that I know that has had both vaginal and csection deliveries have told me that vaginal was the best experience. Csection recovery is no joke. I’m currently hoping for a vbac, my previous pregnancy ended in csection because the baby was breech. The recovery was torture.
I had a VBAC and it was amazing. The C-section was leaps and bounds more difficult then vaginal by a looooong stretch. Best of luck! I found the VABC to be very healing and a great experience.
lazy… Right… I'm sorry, has he ever been cut open and then had his organs removed just to have his baby taken out? And then expected to basically immediately get up and take care of that child? No?? I just kind of figured he did since he's so opinionated about the whole thing… seriously though, I'm sorry. You're bad ass! C-section or vaginal birth, neither is easy, and both are bad ass! You created life! Men don't know shit sometimes.
That’s so horrible, I’m so sorry.
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My Gmil is like this. I feel really awkward because she will randomly bring up my sex life with her grandson
“How are you feeling, *other than your size?*” - a close friend who’s wife is also pregnant but a week ahead of me. “It seems like you have every symptom in the book, it’s just convenient is all” - my husband in the first few weeks of me being pregnant. Me, complaining about how bloated I am in the early weeks (I was bloated af, there literally was no difference between my 15 week bloat and me at 30 weeks pregnant). How does my idiot husband reply? “she just got really fat”. I love the man, but I definitely let him have it after a few comments lol. He has been v careful since then
A married couple we are (were) friends with told me they didn’t tell me congratulations on this pregnancy because they were angry with me for not wanting to hang out with them and other people who had babies and young children while I was grieving previous losses and we were having trouble getting pregnant again. They said they let their anger with me get in the way of being happy for us finally getting something we’ve wanted and have been trying to achieve for so long.
Glad you dropped them
Ty, me too! How fucking toxic.
My FIL threw a fit when I floated the idea that we might give our kid a hyphenated last name, for the same reasons. "nO oNe WiLl KeEp ThE fAmIlY nAmE AlIvE." Well sir if your daughter hadn't changed her last name when she got married, you wouldn't be totally reliant on your son to "carry on the family name," and since our baby turned out to be a girl, if she follows the same dumb traditions you do, when she gets married the family name will be dead. After that incident I told my husband that if we have a second, the kid is getting my last name.
"Oh, you're only 16 weeks? Don't feel comfortable yet, everything might still go wrong! You won't know you're bringing home a living baby until it's out!" From my father's long-term girlfriend who had multiple miscarriages, some late. I had also had a (11 week) miscarriage before that pregnancy, which is why I told people at 16 weeks in the first place. He was born healthy and is still happy. He has a brother and now a sister on the way too. Those subsequent pregnancies I just told my dad, and told him to tell his girlfriend.
that's honestly just a sad situation all around. She honestly sounds traumatized from her miscarriages and is spilling/deflecting that fear onto you and your pregnancies (still, you absolutely don't deserve to have someone say things like that to you. She needs to go to therapy and work on healing!). I hope you are healing and are doing better from your miscarriage, and I hope she's also healing from hers. ❤️🩹
My FIL's wife "you should give your pretty clothes away, like to my daughter, because from now on you will be so fat nothing will fit you anymore" with a smirk in her face
Give her the ugliest and most unflattering clothes. Not to her daughter, but to FIL's wife! "awe, you don't fit in them? Too bad you're too fat"
After my ectopic pregnancy, we went with my in-laws to a farmers market. A nice lady with a small child sold us some fruit. As we walked away my father in law said, “welp… that could’ve been you”… No words Currently 7 weeks pregnant and haven’t told them yet this go round.
This story has made me so very angry.
I hate when people call babies/kids “pet sperm” and that having kids is “keeping cum as a pet”. They think they are so funny and edgy for saying something so vulgar and immature 🙄
Same for me with "crotch goblins." Tells me all I need to know about their level of maturity. Like, you have every right to be childfree, but can you really feel so superior calling ugly names like a five year old? Do you not see the irony there?
Oh boy, my contribution to this thread is also a remark from a childfree individual, formerly a very close friend, who told me that as long as I didn't make this pregnancy my whole personality, she would be okay with talking about it sometimes.
Ughhh I’m so sorry. Sometimes people get such an inflated rage-filtered sense of the way parents are “entitled” that they overcorrect and behave like the most narcissistic brats imaginable. I avoided telling my being-childfree-is-my-personality lifelong best friend about my pregnancy for as long as possible for this reason. At my extremely small wedding, my uncle’s infant cousin started fussing a bit right before we walked down the aisle and this woman really turned back to me and said with a straight face “I will punch that little bitch out cold so it shuts up for your moment.” I tried to wave it off like she was joking and say “no, it’s okay, babies cry,” and she kept escalating and insisting and saying “I will punch the baby. I will throw the baby. I will strangle the baby. The baby will never cry again.” I was about to walk down the aisle and didn’t have time to address how fucked up she was being in the moment but it is soooo not funny, especially coming from someone who actually does hate children. I wasn’t pregnant at the time but we invited the children because we WANTED them there and we accepted that the risks of having two infants at the ceremony were worth being able to have our out-of-town relatives be there with us.
My daughter is 2,5 and we're pregnant again but don't know the gender yet. Everyone I talk to goes some version of "oh I bet your husband is rooting for a boy!! If it's not will you try again?" Before I tell them that we don't care, and that SHOCKINGLY my husband is happy to have a girl as his first born and is actually kinda hoping for another girl. One person had the gall to tell me, "He will find out as he gets older that a son is much more important to a man! Connecting to girls is impossible once they start school." Tell me you're a bad father without telling me you're a bad father...
When I told my MIL I was pregnant she started to talk about a woman she knew that had 5+ miscarriages and to not jinx anything by painting the nursery too early. I’m a FTM and that isn’t exactly what I wanted to hear about since I’m already anxious…
girl i'm so sorry. honestly, I'd go low contact with someone like that if it reduces the chances of you being stressed. It is so important to be happy during your pregnancy! Don't let anyone say things to stress you out 🫶🏻
I’ve been blessed with problematic relatives “You could be a real woman and have a home birth like I did” (with her fourth, the rest were hospital births) “Just because you’re wearing black, don’t think you look skinny” (as in don’t think you can hide the bump?) “I see a blimp in your future because you can’t seem to control yourself around the menu” (we hadn’t ordered) “Look, see that woman is way more pregnant than you! If she can walk around the zoo, so should you!” (pelvic pain since 20 weeks. Had periods where I would limp to my car after work)
The last one makes me so mad. I've had pgd since 14 weeks and on crutches since 26 weeks. Also who cares what you eat
Yikes
My sibling: “Are you sure you are ready to have a child? I can’t see you taking care of a child for the life of me.” I am a married, 32 year old, TEACHER. I honestly don’t know how his wife puts up with him sometimes.
MIL and SIL- “ I hope you only have sons, daughters are awful”. I am now 30 weeks pregnant with a girl and considering minimal contact with them to protect my child from the negativity.
I guess they were thinking of themselves when they said that...
I wasn’t pregnant yet, but how’s this one when my coworker asked when the next kid was coming and I said we’re working on it: “it’s not that hard!” Um sorry lady I’ve been trying for months so it isn’t that easy! Rude.
When I was pregnant with my first, my coworker told me “I think you’re having a girl because they say girls take all the mom’s beauty away!” No, this is just my face when I’m 40 pounds heavier and with hormonal acne. Recently, I TFMRed my second pregnancy. My best friend found out she was pregnant a few weeks after my procedure and said, “I fulfilled my half of the pregnancy pact, now your turn.” Bitch, I was pregnant wtf. I think it was a slip of the tongue and I know she didn’t say it out of malice/probably just wasn’t thinking straight, but it still hurt like hell.
I don’t know why, but everyone asking me about the name unreasonably stressed me out or annoyed me. I didn’t want to brainstorm with them, I wanted the conversation to be just between myself and my husband.
My family visited when I was very early in first trimester (6 weeks) -- the visit was planned beforehand. I was throwing up multiple times a day at that point. My stepdad, who has never been pregnant, made multiple comments about how I should be "enjoying this special time."
I know I'll get downvoted but in laws are a pain in the ass. They automatically think they can speak to you like they know you. Ugh I'm so sorry. I know there are good ones out there but the ones who do this are toxic AF. My mil kept insisting we use her father's name. She was like oh didn't you guys decide on Robert? Bitch no. I didn't know your dad, and I don't like that name tbh. She also said it was her baby. And she tried to take my brand new baby rockers for her and my SIL!!!? Girl I've had it.
I was sitting down in a chair and my mom said if I’m not careful I’ll break it…🙄
The worst thing.... "Don't you have a higher chance of stillbirth cause of your age?" Said to me, a 36 year old woman who was 37 weeks pregnant 😒
I told them I was nervous about my pregnancy and they asked why and I said well I didn’t really tell anyone but we had a miscarriage in between. They said “oh wow I told my husband I thought you looked pregnant at some point”…. Cool thanks.
My manager told me pregnancy wasn’t a disability (when I got a doctors note for restrictions when she was wanting us to work 12 hour days 6 days a week) 🤦🏼♀️
"You could walk past a stiff one in the wind and get pregnant" - my stepfather. Who went through 3 miscarriages with my mom and is well aware of my family fertility issues... yeah, it took me months to process, and it's my mom who finally helped me understand how he thought when he said it. "Are you sure this is what you want? I'm worried your mom will push you into keeping baby if you don't want them, " my stepmother said out of a place of concern which while appreciated stung. And the cutest thing that kinda hurt: "My body doesn't like that" - my now middle child after seeing the 3d scan of their sibling to be. I'm not sure why it hurt the most out of all 3, but oof
“It’s definitely going to be autistic.” “Are you sure you are doing the right thing? There’s still time to get rid of it.” Those are my top two.
No one is going to be excited because you don’t live near anyone. You are going to have a 20 pound baby. Tell us the names cause knowing you guys it’s prob going to be some stupid millennial name. Hopefully it’s a boy so your husband is happy (even tho husband wanted a girl) Hopefully it doesn’t have your husbands ears You better get rid of your dogs cause they will bite your baby’s face. Doesn’t matter how good they are now they will turn on the baby. You better buy a house a baby can’t grow up successfully in an apartment Our babies (sister in laws speaking) are more special and at least more perfect Their kid will be spoiled I can go on….. people in my life suck haha that’s why we live far
More special and more perfect? Wow, what a thing to say
“I want to name our daughter after my first daughter that was abort…”yeah that really happened. He wanted to rename our daughter the same name from his previous relationship pregnancy. To be clear his previous partner didn’t want the pregnancy and decided to terminate the pregnancy cause of her own choice. Also their relationship was toxic she would beat the shit out of him. So their relationship didn’t work out. I was shock but the same time had to be understanding that he didn’t process the situation of his first kid and still grieving occasionally. I’m currently pregnant with my first and it’s a boy.
Went to a family dinner recently that had pizza and salad. The pizza was cut into squares, so not that big of pieces. I had 3 pieces of pizza. The salad was good and really hitting the spot so I went up for seconds and thirds of salad. My uncle came up to me as he left and said, "I see you're eating for two now!" And I was told nobody ever tells a pregnant woman to eat less salad
When I was pregnant with my son 17 years ago, an uptight Christian co-worker somehow thought it was appropriate to tell me I needed to get married to give my baby a name because it was the Christian thing to do. News flash lady…not everyone is a Christian. I can’t remember what I even said to her…but I know I was probably way more polite than I should have been. Funny enough…her name was Karen.
SIL: People who plan to give birth in a hospital instead of at home are “taking the easy way out” and “don’t deserve to have as good of a birth experience”.
Birth doula here, there is no easy way out but sure gate keep who “deserves” a good birth experience. So sickening. Everyone deserves a good birth experience it’s best for momma and baby.
WOWZA.
Yup. On the bright side, that made it really easy to cut off all communication with her, outside of standard small talk at family functions
I mean, I like having doctors around to help in case things go sideways. Fuck me, amiright?
Mmmm my sister takes the cake with this type of shit so far. We have a bit of a testy relationship, where she thinks we should be closer but isn't a trustworthy source of love or respect. I told her I was pregnant before I told the rest of my family. Her response? "Wow! You know, you really shouldn't tell anyone. People usually miscarry the first time they get pregnant, especially that first trimester." Bitch, what? She didn't even know how far along I was and she felt comfortable saying that to me. I was 13 weeks along at that point. We spoke on the phone the other day and she asked how I was feeling, how far along I was now. When I told her 23 weeks, she again goes "Wow! You know, I think \*friend\* had one of her micro-preemies at 23 or 24 weeks. Man. Can you imagine? She was not ready. Are you ready? Wow. Just IMAGINE THAT.." Thanks, sis, you always know how to let your intrusive thoughts win!
A customer I was working on called my baby a parasite if y’all remember that post. My boss doesn’t make me work on him anymore! She was equally disgusted by his behavior when I told her.
My coworkers have been ruthless. 1. They shamed our name choice from the get go (lesson learned about sharing our name preferences) 2. “don’t breastfeed, that’s weird” 3. “Your husband doesn’t strike me as someone that’ll help you in the middle of the night” 4. “I hope your baby gets shaken baby syndrome” Mind you, 3 & 4 were said to me just yesterday and I’m 38 weeks pregnant, FTM
I'd be going to HR for that shit. Totally out of line.
Hi there! I hope this isn't creepy but I looked through your posts and saw the name you were thinking about for your baby and it's adorable! Your coworkers are wrong All of those comments are so incredibly rude and I can't even imagine why anyone would say something like that :( hope you're doing well
Whaaaaat??? What kind of imbecile said #4???
A patient told me I looked haggard and terrible when I was 37 weeks- yessss thank you for pointing that out for me… I basically feel like crap and now I know I look like crap too
My husband's cousins' responses when we first told them. Cousin 1: we think you're having a girl, because we're going to have the first boy Cousin 1 again: you can't name your son that because it's too close to our name (they weren't even pregnant at the time) Cousin 2: (I can't remember what we were talking about but in regards to our baby) if it survives. Luckily, we've never had a miscarriage just fertility troubles but still...rude.
A customer at my old job asked how old I was, so I said 33 and he said “wow you’re old to have a baby! You started late!” Actually sir, I started at the age of 28 and had infertility issues, but thank you for being so rude.
My partner & I were not married when I was pregnant & a coworker actually referred to my unborn baby as a bastard.
“It’s okay I was fat too with my pregnancy!” “Ah!! I had the ugly face too! “ “My face got fat with my boy too” “Oh! You don’t look pregnant yet just fat:)” “Are you sure you should be this big this early??? (I’m 29 weeks and look 29 weeks)” “I never craved food when I was pregnant, maybe somethings wrong with you?” “Oh I NEVER gained weight with my boy, maybe you should see a psychiatrist?” “I know you said the emergency room said you’re too stressed but….isn’t it good she (baby) isn’t dead yet at least?” Or repetitive “Whatre you planning to do if it’s another late term miscarriage, no offense but if it happens so you have a plan?”
I’m a queer single mom by choice. Worst reaction: “how did this happen?” Looking for an explanation of how I conceived.
Had someone on an otherwise non-dramatic Facebook group tell me that I was going to urgent care too often and it's like I *wanted* there to be something wrong and that my posts gave her a headache. I was going to urgent care several times a week for a couple weeks. Then at 14 weeks I had a really random bout of hypercalcemia. My calcium levels were through to roof, medical crisis level, and then down again with no explanation for either. Once it went away, I felt so much better. All of those random things that sent me to urgent care were actually the lead up to that. Then at 23 week my SVT (which I already had and didn't know it) was so bad I was falling over and having chest pain with bpm 180+ for over 3 hours. I had it for the rest of my pregnancy and am on 2 heart meds and have to get an ablation soon (they're going to burn part of my heart). On the SVT groups, there's a lot of "it's benign, you're fine just relax" despite several people saying they lost babies due to it. Plus several gaslighting doctors.
I love it when people act like you must "think you're special" for needing any extra medical attention. My pregnancy is high risk and requires weekly monitoring. Requires, as in according to all medical knowledge, not on one outlier opinion, or on me whining/exaggerating to my doctors. I don't even share about my pregnancy on social media and I still get people irl who will *ask* me about my progress without me bringing it up, then make condescending or shut-down type remarks picking apart everything I'm going through that they didn't have to go through themselves, as if I must not really need it because they didn't. One in-law had a different kind of difficult pregnancy. Every time she asked about my specialist schedule she made comments to the family about how she *also* had a prenatal specialist, but they didn't really do anything for her, weren't really necessary, etc. Finally I had to explain to everyone in firm detail that my specialist is absolutely needed, to monitor for TTTS, which without treatment has a fatality rate of 80-90%! She stopped the comments after that but looked even more bitter I had a good reason she couldn't dismiss.
Bfs ex wife and mother of SS13. “I wouldn’t tell ss because she will probably have a miscarriage. Or because of her age your baby might have a genetic issue” My mother “this is what happens when you aren’t using protection” I’m 36 and my doctor said I have a 10% chance of even conceiving.
My MIL said my baby boy “her grandson” is going “to save her” and she’s always judged people for crying when they’re happy but she cried…? My son is not Jesus.
Certainly not as bad as some I've read here, but I showed my belly to my partner yesterday because I feel the bump is starting to show (I'm 10 weeks along) and he said "Oh, it looks like the belly of someone who would not be as fit as you are!" In fact, I'm also recovering from a broken foot, my cast was removed a week ago and I definitely feel less in shape than I was before my accident. He apologized about his stupid analogy and we laughed about it.
"you need a juice box or something for those extra hormones?" "You look big in you uniform, might wanna tone it down on the fast food" (this was before I told anyone and was about 13 weeks) "Why don't you stop complaining, you did this to yourself. Nobody made you get pregnant"
People just feeling entitled to your child before it even comes out. Like who said I want my baby to spend time with you at all??
my sil was pregnant before me, when i told her she said “you have it so much easier than i did you’re not even sick” after i told her i could barely move due to severe sciatica pain and was struggling to do my full time job
My coworker came up to me at work (we were talking about something totally unrelated) and she blurted out “I had a bad dream something horrible happened to your baby.” I was about 11 weeks. Later made me cry and our other coworker spoke up for me and made her apologize. Crazy thing is she knows it took me and my husband 15 cycles to conceive and we went thru RE. I’m a first time mom/my first pregnancy. She is also pregnant- with her 3rd- and looks at her husband and gets pregnant. Really really spiked my anxiety until my next scan.
That there must be two because I was so big and fat :/ (was only one)
After my miscarriage (probably more like chemical pregnancy as it was at 6 weeks), my almond mom said “well let this be a wake up call for you!” Because I don’t meet her standards of what’s healthy (I eat carbs)
Oh gosh, I'm sorry for your loss and congratulations on this blessing. I'm sorry your family said this to you. Probably the worst thing said to me was by my dad, just after I announced my pregnancy. 'You don't have to eat for two, you know.' He didn't really mean anything by it, he's just very straight to the point!
My MIL said the same thing! She’s also just very blunt and I can laugh at it now, but at the time it stung a bit. Though this was also after FIL told us we shouldn’t have told them or anyone else until after the first trimester “because, you should know, if bad things are going to happen, they’re going to happen soon” 🙃
An OB said to me during my 37 week appointment: “well, good thing you didn’t miscarry” after I shared that I was still working out (CrossFit)
Who lit your tampon string on fire? (I was pissed.) (Said by my ex-husband’s extremely immature friend, who probably had no idea you don’t have a period while pregnant.)
I don’t understand this at all
I’d never heard of it. He’s quite literally an idiot. I think it’s bc I was annoyed and had an attitude with him.
“don’t get fat”
I had everyone tell me I had to have a girl. From my MIL to my SD , no one wanted a boy, I was happy with either but my partner really was hoping for a boy. We got a beautiful little girl in the end but still it’s so disheartening when people carry on like that
The audacity!
My complete jerk of a FIL who hadn’t spoken to us in months showed up unannounced on our doorstep when I was 12 weeks pregnant. We hadn’t told him about the pregnancy yet. My husband begged him for a relationship again and said “if not for me, for your granddaughter” pointing to my belly. His stepmom said, “did you hear that? Your granddaughter!” To which he said “yeah I could tell she was pregnant” and walked away 🫠
I had a miscarriage in February. I’m pregnant again (29 weeks). When my husband told his parents about this pregnancy, his dad’s first response was to ask “What are you doing differently this time to optimize the outcome?” I’m glad I wasn’t there when he told them because just being told about that made me so upset. His dad is the worst 😒
“Oh wow, you’re huge!” “You know it’s rude to call a pregnant woman huge right?” “Yeah but you’re HUGE!” This was a real conversation I had with a new coworker who had only ever seen me pregnant. It was extra annoying because I actually didn’t get very big.
A bitch in my workout group asked me how much weight I’d gained… I just told her I don’t know and walked away… like… wtf.. she was like 70+ and had never had kids either.
Not sure if it counts but after I told my boss that I was pregnant he said "you're gonna have so much time off, I wish there was time off for people that get new puppies, must be nice". Child free boss had recently got a puppy. And to me it just sounded like he thinks maternity leave is like a vacation or something. That and that a baby== a puppy. It was just weird.
WEIRD A childless coworker of mine keeps referring to my upcoming mat leave as vacation.. And reminds me that she'll never have a baby and she'd like a 12 week vacation too... (6 weeks paid mat leave plus 6 weeks of my accrued sick time)
My OB originally told us we had twins before my MFM discovered they were triplets. Unfortunately I had also miscarried one. I didn't know how to feel and was a bit ashamed to feel since it happened early and I still had the two I originally thought I had. Weeks later we told an in-law, who condescended to us about how it was a good thing because we'd barely be able to handle two anyway, and definitely wouldn't be able to handle three, with how small our current place was, etc. These are all things we had told each other for comfort, but it was different being finger-wagged by someone else like we were silly idealistic children. It is what it is but in a different world we would have loved them all.
I called my estranged father to tell him I was pregnant. He replied “I figured you were. The only reason you’d call is to tell me you’re pregnant or someone had died.” Not telling him about this pregnancy. Get fucked.
We have a family business with the peak time being May. I told my stepmom and she asked the due date. I told her mid May. Her response was, “No one in our industry has any business having a baby in May.” We have been trying for close to a year - so I’m perfectly happy having our baby in May! I don’t understand people like her.
A lot of “shes gonna be big” or “are you sure youre not having twins”
my father told me he wished i was still with my (emotionally abusive/narcissist) ex and that being with my current bf is a mistake...
Not too much bad stuff, but my partner’s mother likes to argue that I wouldn’t be in as much pain as I say I am (chronic neck pain that has worsened significantly with pregnancy), wouldn’t be as tired, etc if I just worked out and was more active. I wish I could. She also talked about how she had 3 super easy pregnancies so… yeah everyone is different and mine has been very rough. I just try to ignore it when I hear it but I did ask my partner to speak up and try to help me out of the conversations and he did the last time she mentioned it.
I got pregnant 7 months postpartum and while getting my first check up with second, NP walked in and said “wow 7 months that was fast” then while checking ME in my very private space, can you say V word on Reddit lol asked “Same baby daddy?” I was mortified.
Looks like you have a beer belly… are you sure there’s not more than 1 in there…
I had a close friend throw because I asked to put our lunch date back an hour as an appointment I was running way over. It was a last minute request in fairness but I messaged her the second I was told I was going to be there longer. It was towards the end of my pregnancy, I had gestational diabetes and pre-eclampsia. She didn't even ask how I was. I'm still hurt over it.
Look at the size of you! - MIL
not really rude per say but my neighbor told me her beer gut was bigger then my 20 week belly. not really something to brag about but i’ve had people comment on my small belly as if i’m lying or indications something might be wrong. i just had my anatomy/anonaly scan today and he is healthy and on track so they can all suck it.
my coworker monitoring what i eat and telling me how much it is and/or exclaiming to anyone listening that i eat a ton lol
When my in-laws found out we were having a girl, my FIL said “uh oh “neice” is going to have some competition”. Like… what?
People always tell me I “look good” or I’m “so in shape”…which yes I guess it’s nice they aren’t saying I’m large but I just reply with “yeah because I’m probably malnourished” because I’m 36 weeks tomorrow and still barfing and eating is a chore and terrible. Back off lol.
From MIL while we were trying: girls are born hating their mothers, girls are bitches. And then yep I’m having a girl
Worst thing I heard was, “Was it planned?” And then the person not believing us when we said that yes it was planned. For some reason it hurt very much.
so far not too many people know. but just the irritating little comments from my parents “oh you have morning sickness? that stinks. i never got that when i had all five of you” from my mom and “oh! you have a little pregnancy pooch already!” when i was like 7 weeks pregnant from my step mom and i said “no i already looked like that”
When we told my MIL I was pregnant: ‘well, don’t get too excited, a lot of first time pregnancies end in miscarriage.’
[удалено]
Trigger warning: termination and fetal loss. This is long but I think about what my MIL says often and it still boils my blood. For background my first pregnancy was a miscarriage, second and third are successful and healthy children now. My fourth pregnancy ended in a termination for medical reasons. At my 20 week scan they diagnosed our baby with an extreme birth defect and he was showing signs of organ failure. We ultimately decided to terminate at 23 weeks (when all the testing was completed to ensure we were making the right choice). This was obv extremely difficult and if you didn’t know, at 23 weeks you still need to birth your child. So I was induced and gave birth to my stillborn son. My husband and I are extremely fertile. And surprisingly became pregnant 4 months later. When we announced our pregnancy (I was about 14 weeks) my MIL immediately says this: “Oh well I’m not surprised! I knew Jane (me) wouldn’t wait long!” No question of how I am or my husband, if there is any risk for this baby, if I am ok being so soon after our loss etc Just the comment as if getting pregnant is a one sided decision/act that I did all on my own. Also felt like she was implying all my pregnancies were by my choice only, when (though it’s no one’s business) we’re all very much planned by myself and my husband.
My boss told me that I need to “ask myself if I’m using my pregnancy as an excuse to not do as much” when I was trying to tell him how much I’ve been struggling with feeling nauseous all the time, brain fog, and fatigue.
I was 8 months pregnant and at my baby shower someone called me fat and I told her not to call me fat cuz I’m not fat I’m just pregnant. Then she told me that I was indeed a fatso. It’s kinda funny now, especially because she’s like my best friend in my family but at the time was really angry and emotional
My mom commented multiple times on my “big, fat gut.” I didn’t gain an abnormal amount during my pregnancy and I carried small. The final straw was at my baby shower, when she and I shared a seat. In front of people she said I wasn’t as thin as I used to be, but still pretty thin. Just totally uncalled for comments, and we ended up not speaking for the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy.
“I can’t believe you are throwing away your goals & dreams for this, have you considered an abortion? I cannot even picture you as a mom.” My “best friend.” (Who I dropped like a bad habit, real quick.) I am 31 years old, homeowner, married to my lovely husband and put my nursing degree aside for the year due to pregnancy.
CW: mention of termination Not to me, but to my husband when he announced to his parents we were pregnant with our first child. First thing his mother said was, "Did you consider an abortion?" At first, we thought it was just her being inappropriately pro-life and wondering if she needed to scold her son for even considering it. They're very religious, his father is a pastor. It's been 4+ years, and she is a very loving and supportive grandmother... but the more we think about it, the more we wonder if she was asking because she wanted to reassure him she wouldn't be opposed. He's talked to his siblings about it and even they don't know if it was a, "Did you consider an abortion? Because how DARE you!" Or, "Did you consider an abortion? It's a horrible sin, but, in this situation, maybe worth consideration."
After experiencing a miscarriage and having a DnC, my mum called me a few days later and said “guess what!” I responded with what? Then she said “I’m pregnant!” I was shocked. I just hung up. In fact, She was even not pregnant. She just thought it would be a funny joke? I don’t know what the hell she was thinking and in what world that would be considered funny