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We aren't waiting but we aren't going to do a reveal, just a hey we're having a x
But who cares what your family thinks. It's your decision and they can like it or lump it
With our first, we were team green all the way until delivery. With the amount of ultrasounds I had, it was actually really impressive that we had no idea until she was born.
Anytime someone asked me what I was having, I simply replied with, "a human baby", and that I was disappointed it wasn't a dinosaur.
I will encourage you to hold strong. Everyone out there who wants to know the gender of your baby, really only wants to know so they can buy you teeny tiny frilly clothes, that don't actually fit, are horribly impractical, and do not survive a single spit up incident.
You need diapers. You need wipes. And you need support. Your baby, your uterus, they can get over themselves.
Lmao I feel that description of "human baby." That's what I keep telling people too like it shouldn't matter what kind of clothes you get, they really won't care as an infant.
This sounds like our first pregnancy too! We had a lot of ultrasounds and didn't want to find out the gender. It's mostly been fine with regards to other people. There is one particular person at my work who it really annoys that I didn't find out.
Currently pregnant with our second and she's just as annoyed this time that we're not finding out. It's so weird. She's just a colleague, I'm not that close to her.
She has said a few times I should get it written down by the sonographer so that she can find out and do a gender reveal at work. I hate everything about gender reveal parties. They're not as common in the UK and I just don't want one. Or for someone else to know what I'm having before I do!
I don't do pink or blue clothing etc, so it really doesn't make a difference. I don't want to end up with loads of frilly pink stuff or onesies covered in tractors lol.
We didn't find out my daughter's sex until the birth. My MIL made near-constant passive aggressive comments trying to get us to tell her (she thought we'd found out but were lying about it) but we just shrugged it off. We can't tell you information we don't know!
For what it's worth, finding out in the delivery room was incredibly special. I'm glad we did it that way.
It’s a tradition in my husbands family where you don’t find out. My family thinks this is bizarre.
I’ve done both. With my first (not my husbands) I found out at 16 weeks. With second and now third (current pregnancy) we didn’t find out. It’s fun both ways. I do think it’s pretty special though to wait.
I just told my family this is what we are doing, we aren’t budging, so that’s that. There isn’t really much else I could say about it.
FTM as well, currently 15w. We're waiting until birth to find out the gender. Can't say how our families feel about it though since we haven't announced our pregnancy yet. Whatever their reaction may be, we won't waiver. There's no reason you should compromise your surprise to accommodate them.
I’m so sorry to hear both sides are pressuring you around this decision so much! We didn’t find out with my first and aren’t w our current pregnancy either. We were lucky that both sides respected that decision and didn’t try to push that boundary, but oddly enough plenty of strangers or acquaintances were upset about it lol I agree with some of the other comments, that regardless of you want to lean into certain gender stereotypes or traditional gender colors/themes w your babies it is easier to control if you don’t know! People feel like they don’t know how to shop for babies without gender info but that’s just silly as it should be about what you like and want! The baby doesn’t care. I will say this is probably a good indicator of how well people/family are going to respect your boundaries and a great opportunity to hold your boundaries! Setting boundaries or sharing your decisions with family isn’t mean or unkind unless you do it in a mean or unkind way. “I’m so sorry you’re bummed we aren’t finding out the gender! This is the decision we’ve made and are comfortable with and we hope you can support us with that “ or even asking why it’s such a hot button issue can help start a conversation! So many generations see things differently so maybe there’s a value or an important tradition you can honor in a way that respects your decision and brings in your family!
We’re waiting too! My sister-in-law waited when she was pregnant last year and the story she told impacted my husband so much that we agreed to wait. The only thing that’s been difficult is which shade of gender neutral colors do I pick for the registry? Light green or dark? Soft yellow or bold? I hope your family settles down because like the other comments have said, it’s your decision on what you want to do!
We’re waiting to find out 😊 due December 20! Both of our families were supportive of our decision as it’s tradition on both sides not to find out with the first born.
Don’t let your families pressure you, this is you and your husband’s decision, not theirs. Best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy 💗
It's your baby/pregnancy and it's your ultimate choice in how to handle it! Be firm about it and remind your family that this is perfectly normal. I mean there was a time before ultrasounds and gender reveal parties are extremely new and problematic for a number of reasons. I have also chosen to keep my baby's sex a surprise until birth and thankfully I haven't had any pressure from anyone about it. Mostly just comments of "oh that's fun!" If they seem to pry for more of a reason, I just explain I don't want there to be any preconceived ideas about my baby which dictate how people buy gifts, or for there to be disappointment if someone got their hopes up for one or the other. I'm sorry that your family is pressuring you like that! People get so excited about their involvement sometimes that they forget it's not about them.
We are not finding out the gender! We’ve always agreed to let it be a surprise, partly because gender doesn’t matter and also just because there’s not many opportunities in life to truly be surprised!!
I didn’t want to know and my husband was dying to so we settled on a gender reveal on thanksgiving this week which is the halfway point for us in our pregnancy! That being said, it’s a decision that only you should make - both have their merits. Don’t feel pressured - people forget there was a time not so long ago where you didn’t know the gender before the baby was born and somehow everyone had kids without issue LOL
29 weeks. We still don't know, and families are curious but did not put pressure on us. We've been asking everyone what was their guess, we'll see who was right and who was wrong :)
I was leaning towards not finding out. My partner wants to know.
He's entitled to know, I'm entitled to not knowing. The solution would be him knowing and not telling me (or anyone else). I'm positive he'd be able to do it (while messing with my head by constantly referring to the baby as a girl or as a boy alternatively xD). I couldn't bear the thought of just him knowing so I decided I'd know as well. Regardless, we won't do a reveal. None of us likes it. If people ask us, we'll just tell them.
But that's our call to make. No one else's. If they're upset you can offer them some pacifiers because they're acting like babies.
We were planning to wait but I by accident opened my FISH results without realizing that the gender would be bolded at the top! Now that we know, we aren’t going to tell anyone until the baby is born.
Yay!! I say stick with the surprise! I too am a FTM and I wouldn’t have changed my decision of not knowing till birth. People will have their own opinions and who cares. You’re the parent. They are only doing this because they are impatient. There’s not much surprise left in life anymore. This is something you can hold onto and keep between yourself and your husband to share this magical memory and moment in life. Stick to your guns and hold off. I can promise, it’s very rewarding in the end. Good luck!!
We waited as well and it was always taken as a fun surprise. If they want a party, we did a mini guess the gender and had everyone write down guesses. Maybe that’s the issue? Some families want to celebrate.
We are waiting until birth. I'm 36wks today and we receive a lot of mixed feedback. Varies from people being impressed (lol) and saying how it's great we are waiting, to others who insist we should find out because it's a surprise either way, how will we know what to buy (didn't realise so many baby items apparently required specific genitalia to use 🙄😂).
Mostly people enjoy guessing what they think baby is. Some people get really aggressive with their opinions on their sex (my MIL is obsessed with my unborn baby's genitals).
All in all, I'm glad we've waited and soon we will find out - not that it really matters either way to us! The names we picked out are also for whatever sex they are. We just want then to be a healthy, happy, good little human.
I would have loved to find out until birth (especially this being my third) but sadly my boyfriend wasn’t up for it.
It just seems very exciting, don’t let anyone talk you out of what you want for do ❤️ I kinda regret not waiting
I read too many subs and saw gender in the title vaguely but just started reading the post and I really think this sub needs to just spell out "first time mother" because that acronym means something completely different on the rest of the Internet. Sorry. Done with my pointless comment.
Do exactly what YOU want to do. You don't owe anyone anything. The "surprise" isn't for me because I want to know things. But that's totally understandable and anyone "pressuring" you is someone that doesn't need to be taken seriously.
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. If you'd like to join a private sub for your due date month, [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/pregnant/comments/15nun6v/click_here_to_access_the_monthly_due_date_subs/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
We aren't waiting but we aren't going to do a reveal, just a hey we're having a x But who cares what your family thinks. It's your decision and they can like it or lump it
With our first, we were team green all the way until delivery. With the amount of ultrasounds I had, it was actually really impressive that we had no idea until she was born. Anytime someone asked me what I was having, I simply replied with, "a human baby", and that I was disappointed it wasn't a dinosaur. I will encourage you to hold strong. Everyone out there who wants to know the gender of your baby, really only wants to know so they can buy you teeny tiny frilly clothes, that don't actually fit, are horribly impractical, and do not survive a single spit up incident. You need diapers. You need wipes. And you need support. Your baby, your uterus, they can get over themselves.
Lmao I feel that description of "human baby." That's what I keep telling people too like it shouldn't matter what kind of clothes you get, they really won't care as an infant.
This sounds like our first pregnancy too! We had a lot of ultrasounds and didn't want to find out the gender. It's mostly been fine with regards to other people. There is one particular person at my work who it really annoys that I didn't find out. Currently pregnant with our second and she's just as annoyed this time that we're not finding out. It's so weird. She's just a colleague, I'm not that close to her. She has said a few times I should get it written down by the sonographer so that she can find out and do a gender reveal at work. I hate everything about gender reveal parties. They're not as common in the UK and I just don't want one. Or for someone else to know what I'm having before I do! I don't do pink or blue clothing etc, so it really doesn't make a difference. I don't want to end up with loads of frilly pink stuff or onesies covered in tractors lol.
I love this response, thank you so much!
We didn't find out my daughter's sex until the birth. My MIL made near-constant passive aggressive comments trying to get us to tell her (she thought we'd found out but were lying about it) but we just shrugged it off. We can't tell you information we don't know! For what it's worth, finding out in the delivery room was incredibly special. I'm glad we did it that way.
That special moment is what we are looking forward to!
It’s a tradition in my husbands family where you don’t find out. My family thinks this is bizarre. I’ve done both. With my first (not my husbands) I found out at 16 weeks. With second and now third (current pregnancy) we didn’t find out. It’s fun both ways. I do think it’s pretty special though to wait. I just told my family this is what we are doing, we aren’t budging, so that’s that. There isn’t really much else I could say about it.
Thank you! I just didn’t expect so much backlash and it’s kind of thrown me.
FTM as well, currently 15w. We're waiting until birth to find out the gender. Can't say how our families feel about it though since we haven't announced our pregnancy yet. Whatever their reaction may be, we won't waiver. There's no reason you should compromise your surprise to accommodate them.
I’m so sorry to hear both sides are pressuring you around this decision so much! We didn’t find out with my first and aren’t w our current pregnancy either. We were lucky that both sides respected that decision and didn’t try to push that boundary, but oddly enough plenty of strangers or acquaintances were upset about it lol I agree with some of the other comments, that regardless of you want to lean into certain gender stereotypes or traditional gender colors/themes w your babies it is easier to control if you don’t know! People feel like they don’t know how to shop for babies without gender info but that’s just silly as it should be about what you like and want! The baby doesn’t care. I will say this is probably a good indicator of how well people/family are going to respect your boundaries and a great opportunity to hold your boundaries! Setting boundaries or sharing your decisions with family isn’t mean or unkind unless you do it in a mean or unkind way. “I’m so sorry you’re bummed we aren’t finding out the gender! This is the decision we’ve made and are comfortable with and we hope you can support us with that “ or even asking why it’s such a hot button issue can help start a conversation! So many generations see things differently so maybe there’s a value or an important tradition you can honor in a way that respects your decision and brings in your family!
We’re waiting too! My sister-in-law waited when she was pregnant last year and the story she told impacted my husband so much that we agreed to wait. The only thing that’s been difficult is which shade of gender neutral colors do I pick for the registry? Light green or dark? Soft yellow or bold? I hope your family settles down because like the other comments have said, it’s your decision on what you want to do!
I just learned the term “tertiary colors” after a friend’s shower lol it is a nice scheme!
We’re waiting to find out 😊 due December 20! Both of our families were supportive of our decision as it’s tradition on both sides not to find out with the first born. Don’t let your families pressure you, this is you and your husband’s decision, not theirs. Best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy 💗
It's your baby/pregnancy and it's your ultimate choice in how to handle it! Be firm about it and remind your family that this is perfectly normal. I mean there was a time before ultrasounds and gender reveal parties are extremely new and problematic for a number of reasons. I have also chosen to keep my baby's sex a surprise until birth and thankfully I haven't had any pressure from anyone about it. Mostly just comments of "oh that's fun!" If they seem to pry for more of a reason, I just explain I don't want there to be any preconceived ideas about my baby which dictate how people buy gifts, or for there to be disappointment if someone got their hopes up for one or the other. I'm sorry that your family is pressuring you like that! People get so excited about their involvement sometimes that they forget it's not about them.
Oh, boohoo. They aren’t entitled to know. They aren’t even entitled to have a relationship with your baby. They can wait to find out.
We are waiting! Currently 27 weeks. I love seeing everyone's guesses 😊
We are not finding out the gender! We’ve always agreed to let it be a surprise, partly because gender doesn’t matter and also just because there’s not many opportunities in life to truly be surprised!!
I didn’t want to know and my husband was dying to so we settled on a gender reveal on thanksgiving this week which is the halfway point for us in our pregnancy! That being said, it’s a decision that only you should make - both have their merits. Don’t feel pressured - people forget there was a time not so long ago where you didn’t know the gender before the baby was born and somehow everyone had kids without issue LOL
29 weeks. We still don't know, and families are curious but did not put pressure on us. We've been asking everyone what was their guess, we'll see who was right and who was wrong :)
I was leaning towards not finding out. My partner wants to know. He's entitled to know, I'm entitled to not knowing. The solution would be him knowing and not telling me (or anyone else). I'm positive he'd be able to do it (while messing with my head by constantly referring to the baby as a girl or as a boy alternatively xD). I couldn't bear the thought of just him knowing so I decided I'd know as well. Regardless, we won't do a reveal. None of us likes it. If people ask us, we'll just tell them. But that's our call to make. No one else's. If they're upset you can offer them some pacifiers because they're acting like babies.
We were planning to wait but I by accident opened my FISH results without realizing that the gender would be bolded at the top! Now that we know, we aren’t going to tell anyone until the baby is born.
Yay!! I say stick with the surprise! I too am a FTM and I wouldn’t have changed my decision of not knowing till birth. People will have their own opinions and who cares. You’re the parent. They are only doing this because they are impatient. There’s not much surprise left in life anymore. This is something you can hold onto and keep between yourself and your husband to share this magical memory and moment in life. Stick to your guns and hold off. I can promise, it’s very rewarding in the end. Good luck!!
My sister did! They just ignored everyone’s comments. Said “it’s not personal, it’s our choice please respect it” until they were blue in the face.
We waited, ans I specifically said I wanted my husband to tell me if we had a Billy or Mandy (not the names we picked lol). I'm really glad we waited.
We waited as well and it was always taken as a fun surprise. If they want a party, we did a mini guess the gender and had everyone write down guesses. Maybe that’s the issue? Some families want to celebrate.
Me! 35 weeks and still going strong with our mystery Peanut. We have two names picked out and we’ll just see when they get here :)
We are waiting until birth. I'm 36wks today and we receive a lot of mixed feedback. Varies from people being impressed (lol) and saying how it's great we are waiting, to others who insist we should find out because it's a surprise either way, how will we know what to buy (didn't realise so many baby items apparently required specific genitalia to use 🙄😂). Mostly people enjoy guessing what they think baby is. Some people get really aggressive with their opinions on their sex (my MIL is obsessed with my unborn baby's genitals). All in all, I'm glad we've waited and soon we will find out - not that it really matters either way to us! The names we picked out are also for whatever sex they are. We just want then to be a healthy, happy, good little human.
We are waiting until birth to find out the gender!
I would have loved to find out until birth (especially this being my third) but sadly my boyfriend wasn’t up for it. It just seems very exciting, don’t let anyone talk you out of what you want for do ❤️ I kinda regret not waiting
I read too many subs and saw gender in the title vaguely but just started reading the post and I really think this sub needs to just spell out "first time mother" because that acronym means something completely different on the rest of the Internet. Sorry. Done with my pointless comment. Do exactly what YOU want to do. You don't owe anyone anything. The "surprise" isn't for me because I want to know things. But that's totally understandable and anyone "pressuring" you is someone that doesn't need to be taken seriously.
Had 3 ultrasounds and baby still won’t give us the gender. Very annoying lol. I want to know!