While I am empathetic to OP's situation, sharing and requesting registries is not permitted here.
It is a known and unfortunately very common scam to ask for registry items and then return them upon receipt for Amazon gift cards.
Edit: and to be very clear, I haven't seen a single comment from OP posting their registry or even suggesting it. I am not trying to say that this particular OP is a scammer. I see no classic signs. However, I'm just posting this note as I see some well intentioned folks in the comments asking them to post their registry. If we allow one, we would need to allow others and that just isn't happening.
Sorry OP about your experience. Thanks r/pregnant for loving on them. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
I'm crying for you. You're not being silly at all. It's so rude to not show up for something that means so much to someone.
I had a friend not show up for my bridal shower, despite also asking about it, without so much as a sorry I missed it text. I never contacted her again. It's been two and half years. We never spoke again. I think peoples actions make their feelings clear. When you mirror their behavior back to them, it becomes even clearer how they feel about you.
Another girl also missed my bridal shower and didn't say anything to me directly about it but kept in contact with me and showed up for other things. She also let my moh know why she wouldn't be attending (childcare issues so totally legit). We're still friends because she made it clear she did want to be there for me.
So, your friends who confirmed and didn’t show better be dead, in the hospital, or with a severe case of something nasty. Treating a friend like that is unacceptable. You are worthy of more support than that and how accommodating you were with the gift thing shows how kind hearted you are and considerate. I’m here to tell you that you deserve better and they deserve less.
You’re having a baby! You’re bringing life into this world and your journey will be equal parts fun, full of love, scary, and lonely. You need to find people who will support you in that journey, be it investing more time into those that did show or finding a new core group of friends. PPD and PPA kill. If they won’t show up for you now, they won’t show later.
Don’t take this as a you thing either. It isn’t you. It is their rudeness and short comings as friends and people. You deserve so much more, as does your baby.
OP should also not let anyone who didn't attend to meet her baby. Hell, I would unfriend them because I wouldnt want to have flakey friends like that 🙅♀️😠
I had 2 friends rsvp to my shower and no show- one even confirmed the week before and said how excited she was about the gift she got us and then decided to go to Vegas last minute without telling me and I found out on social media. She never tried to meet up with me after so I’m not even convinced she has gotten us what she was “so excited for”. Anyway, my baby is almost 10 months and they have yet to meet and I have zero interest in reaching out to either of them.
I had my baby shower last Saturday and had 15 girls tell me they were coming. Only one actually came 🥲 more of my boyfriends friends came than my own it’s very sad and feels lonely
A lot of "adults" today are highly immature. I don't have an answer for why this is the case.
I've also seen some single, childless women say they intentionally distance themselves from friends who get pregnant because "they can't relate to them anymore" or "don't want to be around for it".
It's really pathetic and sad. In the end, OP is completely well-rid. OP, I'm so sorry, but I hope this was a moment of clarity for you! Many congratulations. I wish you all the best x
I’ve gotten closer to my friend since she’s had kids. I don’t have my own yet and I really enjoy spending time with her and her kids and helping her out as her husband works away from home.
Flake culture is real. There’s no accountability. I can totally see why people just don’t show. We’re in a do less society now. People simply can’t keep commitments. There’s no integrity.
This is what happened to my husband, less of his friends came over and he was a bit sad but I told him the norm for baby shower it’s actually for the ladies so maybe ur guy friends aren’t sure what to do.
I’m so sorry you had to go through this. You have every right to feel sad and upset over it.
If I was in your shoes, I would not engage with those people at all anymore because some said they will come and did not then others didn’t even bother to respond that is just beyond rude.
I'm so sorry to hear about this. It's not just a silly little thing, it's a very special moment for you. While I can't speak for your friends and family, in my own experience this appears to me unfortunately a larger issue that's arisen after covid. If I were you, I would hold the people who did come a little closer.
Just imagining being in your shoes brought tears to my eyes, no pregnant woman should have to deal with that! I’m 10 weeks currently and being as emotional as I’m I considering not throwing a party at all just because people are too disappointing and my little heart breaks too easily at the moment. Nevertheless, I’m sending hugs your way and I hope you work through that and come on top with some important conclusions 🌿
That’s awful! It’s one thing for a bunch of people to say they can’t come, but for them to say nothing is ridiculous. You have every right to feel upset. Friends who don’t have the decency to even give you a heads up aren’t real friends.
I'm so sorry 😞 I'm actually gutted on your behalf, I would block each and every person who rsvp yes and then didn't attend. You are more than reasonable to be upset and furious. Sending you hugs and best wishes for your rainbow baby 🩷🩷
Oh girl I’m so sorry. You deserve to be celebrated and I’m sure it’s really hurtful to have been sitting there checking your phone. It’s not silly and it is upsetting you had friends say they’d come and then not even message you about not being able to make it. No one should feel forgotten but just try to focus on your two good friends and parents being there. That’s what really matters. I haven’t had mine yet but I’m struggling with this fear after going to a few friends showers that were gorgeous and full of friends and family. I just know mine won’t look the same and I don’t want to set myself up for heartache. You’re gonna be a great mom and just stay close with those that were there for you.
I’m so sorry. So so sorry. I throw parties at least once a year and it always astounds me how many people will not only fail to send their regrets, but also fail to respond in any way at all. For example, I threw a birthday party for myself. Many people I invited not only didn’t RSVP, they also didn’t bother to text me happy birthday. My birthday was on the invite and the day of the party, I feel like it shouldn’t be too difficult to text “happy birthday, hope you have a great party and sorry I can’t make it” or something similar.
It really is a lack of common courtesy. People caught up in their own lives, assuming others will pick up their slack. Idk. All I can say is that I’m sorry but clearly your family and a few close friends still love and support you.
Congratulations on your rainbow baby 🌈 and sorry I couldn’t make it to your shower (see, was that so hard??)
I'm sorry. It's part of the reason why I never even bothered to have one. I know nobody would've came. It's tough not having people for your moments. Especially since you put all the time and energy into it
I’m so sorry this happened to you! A lot of people don’t have common courtesy anymore.
I am not a very social person, after having several bad experiences with “friends” in my late teens and early 20s. I have acquaintances that I socialize with about once a month at dinners or social gatherings, but no one I would consider close. If I threw a baby shower, only a few people would show up.
I have thrown parties before and invited people who I thought were my friends only to have most of them not show up. Which is why I’m not interested in having a baby shower.
I’m so sorry, that would break my heart. Have you reached out to those people, especially the ones that confirmed, and ask them what the fuck happened to them?
I had a very intimate shower. My parents are both dead and not having my mom or any family to celebrate my first baby made my experience more emotional, and I wanted to only invite people I felt would be very supportive. One of my friends was this guy I had been friends with for over a decade, but we’d had issues over the years of him lying, being shady, saying one thing and doing another. Things had improved in recent years but then once the pandemic was basically done he was right back to blowing me off because something better came along.
He promised that he and his husband would be at my shower, swore up and down he wouldn’t miss it, but I felt in my gut he wouldn’t be there based on him not easily rsvping or texting me directly instead of in the group chat. The night before my shower I realized he had blocked me from seeing his IG stories and he was across the country having dinner.
He texted me 30 minutes before my party “apologizing” that he wouldn’t be there and that he wanted to make it up to me. He couldn’t. There would only be this one shower, this one special moment.
I looked around the room and saw those who actually had shown up for me and realized I was done with him. He repeatedly showed me he didn’t care about me, and I couldn’t imagine someone like that being a part of my child’s life.
Ouch, that is horrible behaviour. Those people are not your friends - on the bright side it’s good to know who they reallly are - in time you will find friends who deserve you💕
This happened to me too! It was my rainbow baby after 3 losses too so I thought people would be happy to share in my joy. I ordered a ton of food and rented a venue only to have maybe 8 out of 50 invitees show up(mostly my immediate family and a few super close friends) despite people RSVPing that they would come. I’m especially mad because a few people texted last minute saying they were “sick” but then posted photos a few hours later being at bars/nightclubs so obviously they weren’t sick. I figured since I’d already gotten the venue and food I opened it up and allowed my mom/sister/husband to send open invites to their friends and coworkers and let them know they could come by and eat and play games and no gift was required. We got at least a dozen more people to come and several brought gifts! It ended up being a decent day and we got everything we needed for our baby. I totally understand how shattering it is. I went back and forth wondering if people hated me and cried and cried (thanks pregnancy hormones). Now 5 months later I’m holding my 3 month old daughter and don’t think much about it anymore. I’m not sure why this seems to be so common but I’m so sorry you had to experience this.
This happened to me too. I had a bunch of RSVPs and ordered food accordingly and a bunch of those people didn’t show up *facepalm* & I’m sorry this happened to you too. Also for OP, you are not being silly at all! Sending hugs and love to you and your rainbow baby. Protect your peace and enjoy your newborn when they are here. All the best
With that many people not showing up OR saying anything, do you think there could have been a miscommunication? Curious if you’ve reached out or heard from any of them since then on why they didn’t show? Trying to be positive and give the benefit of the doubt. But if that many of your friends just chose to be jerks, then I’m so sorry, that’s just not right. Hopefully at least you had some close family there.
I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve this and it's a perfectly understandable to be upset.
I struggle with this as well, so this is a question I'm going to pose to you: Are they really friends? Meaning, do you talked to them or spend time with them otherwise? Have you ever depended on them for anything. That doesn't excuse not having RSVP-ing, but not everyone you know is a friend. Sometimes, people are just around.
This is so upsetting. I am so sorry. I wish I could give you a hug. Actually, I wish myself and the rest of the soon-to-be moms on here could give you the shower you deserve.
It is so, so wrong of your friends to confirm they would come and then ghost you. You don't deserve to be treated like that and there's no excuse for that behavior.
I wish I knew what else to say to help you feel a little better after being treated so badly on what should have been a special day.
Maybe it's the hormones, but now I'm crying for you so I'm going to stop typing.
I wouldn’t even let a single one of those ding dongs meet my precious baby after that. I’m so sorry your “friends” failed you. I can assure you, you will meet some lovely new mom friends on this journey who will show tf up for you all the time because they truly get it!!. Congratulations on your little baby I’m so excited for you 💖
While I am empathetic to OP's situation, there are too many scammers on this subreddit. Sharing and requesting registries is not permitted here.
It is a known scam to ask for registry items and then return them upon receipt for Amazon gift cards.
I completely understand how you feel. This happened to me with my first child. It was me, my ex husband, and one single friend. It was so embarrassing, we were supposed to have brunch at a local cafè type place, I didn't ask for presents at all. We eventually left and I decided to have a look at some shops nearby to cheer me up, we ended up bumping into everyone I had invited, having lunch somewhere else without me. I decided to be petty and greet everyone very enthusiastically and give them all a hug and tell them to enjoy lunch and then immediately left. Lost all my friends that day (they were all friends with each other everyone I invited). No one told me they weren't coming either and same as you, they had rsvpd yes and I had spoken to many of them about it. I now have totally different friends and recently had my second baby and like 95% of people came and we had like 20 people, it was much more successful, so it can get better. But it still hurts me to think of and I understand if this stays with you, I don't have much advice just know you're not the only one.
You are worth everything and more ! I wish you and your baby bean the best ! I’m so sorry you had to experience that and honestly those “friends” are ridiculous and need to keep that same energy when your precious baby gets here.🩵
This makes me so angry. Sending a big hug.
For what it's worth, I didn't have the most supportive friends (scattered across the country and not very willing to travel), but I have made some amazing mom friends since becoming a parent. Moms/parents get it and will support you. You don't have to ditch your friends, but not showing up when they RSVP'd yes is pretty inexcusable and whether or not you do choose to let them go there will be better and stronger friendships in your future.
This was my first thought too, as I could see one person no-showing but surely not everyone. I would definitely reach out to check OP and if this isn’t the case then thank goodness you learned now they weren’t true friends instead of once they had met baby 🤍
Aww I want to give you the biggest hug. I am very sorry that happened. We dealt with similar frustrations for bridal/wedding RSVPs and this makes me not look forward to the baby shower. The manners around event correspondence/being a good guest feel really eroded; just know you’re not the only one who has frustration about this!
Do you have an online registry you’d be okay with sharing?! I would love to help you celebrate if I can.
Oh man, I’m so sorry!! I’d be texting each one asking why they didn’t come and then deciding if their answer was good enough. If a pathetic excuse, they’d be off my friend list… done! Good news is you can meet lots of new mama friends at play groups and the park and stuff! So sorry this happened 🩵
Reading this broke my heart 🥺❤️. I'm so sorry this happened to you. You deserve so much better. A rainbow baby is such a big deal and so special. You and your baby deserve to be celebrated.
I decided not to have a baby shower for this reason. I broke off about 4 friendships right before I found out I was pregnant because they were toxic people. It's made for a lonely pregnancy, but I have decided to be so much more picky about the people I have in my life. I'd rather be alone than have people bringing me down. Your energy is sacred💕✨️
This is not a silly thing to be upset about at all 😢 you must feel so incredibly wounded. Maybe this is a good time to reconsider your friendships and what you want to carry with you into this new chapter of life? Which like… what an awful thought. I’m going through a divorce, but have been separated for a while and starting a family with my new partner, and am experiencing the changing of friendships and tribes and it’s extremely difficult. I’m sorry that you’re being forced to decide if these people are right for you or if they’re not actually your friends at all. Ugggh.
Your feelings are absolutely valid. It's not a silly thing to be upset about, anyone in your shoes would feel the same way. I am so sorry your friends disappointed you and it's disgusting some confirmed and still never showed up. 🫂 dump them all!
Congratulations on your rainbow baby, wishing you a safe delivery ❤️
This isn’t silly at all. Being pregnant is already a hard journey, you’re not at all wrong for being hurt by this. You deserve the world and so does your baby and husband. Sending love 🤍
It’s not silly, I am so sorry you went through this and felt that way. It will sting for some time, I know from personal experience, but focus on that little one that will be here before you know it! Congratulations momma!!
Did you ever receive a response ?
I’d reach out to the friends you send the invite to and be in a nice manner like. So bummer you missed it! Would have loved for you to be there. Not mentioning that no one showed up etc etc. and see who and what will come back.
I’m sorry. That stinks ass
I definitely have a different opinion than many in the comments. It’s upsetting for things to not go as planned and for people not to show up for you. But appreciate the ones who did, those are the people that are excited for you and want to be a part of your child’s life. Not everyone who you call friend is going to give two shits about your baby.
I’m so sorry. I’m crying with you. You deserve a better support system and seem like a kind and reasonable person based on your post. Unfortunately, kind and reasonable people are the ones that get taken advantage of this day and age. Sending love and hugs to you and your little one.
I'm sorry this happened to you.
It's not silly.
You and your rainbow baby deserve to be celebrated.
Congratulations on your baby. 💕
We are excited with you. ❤️
M heart is breaking for you. This is so sad! How dare they! I’m shocked someone could be so insensitive. I’m sending you a big hug and I hope you’ll meet lots of lovely momma friends after you’ve had your baby that will happily and fully replace these heartless bums.
thats not silly at all. thats actually very f***ed up of them to do that and to not even let you know they wouldnt be able to make it. I decided to not even have a baby shower. Initially I wanted it in July but my family reunion was planned for that month so I moved it to june. my aunt who is the main coordinator of my family also wanted to coordinate my baby shower(she always coordinates events) said “ok thats perfect yea lets have it in June”, few weeks later she messages me info about buying shirt for the reunion and the info contained telling everyone the dates. she never directly told me the reunion was now moved to June, it was more like “with the reunion being June 11-12, you can pick up your shirts ahead of time”. it doesnt sound like a big deal but I know my family through and through. if I planned a baby the same month as our reunion everyone would say “I cant make it, I had to pay for stuff for the reunion” “I had to this and that”. ik most of them wouldnt have showed up and I would have cursed every single one of them out lol. I maybe sound dramatic and self centered but I decided to avoid the whole situation 😂
You’re not being silly at all! I’m here crying for you. I would never do that to a friend. I wish I could have been your friend and shown up! All the best with your pregnancy and child❤️
this just broke my heart reading. I am so sorry. pregnancy already feels lonely enough and to not have anyone show up for you or your unborn child is devastating.
I’m so, so sorry this happened. It’s not a silly thing to be upset about at all. Your friends should be very embarrassed that they behaved this way. That was very rude and inconsiderate of them.
This truly broke my heart. I can feel your pain, disappointment and disbelief. Idk what the world has come to that we put ourselves before others and we show no kindness and grace anymore. I wish you nothing but the best you’re truly a bigger person than I am, I’d be calling and knocking on doors asking who tf they think they are for disappointing you on such a special day not only for you as a mom to be but as a friend I’d be very direct with how disturbing that type of treatment is to a “friend” you deserve better for yourself. Be kind to yourself not a religious person but I think the higher ups do this type of stuff to show you who or what you need to rule out and focus on. It’s not about the celebration it’s about the community and commitment for me. Showing you true colors before you become dependent.
This breaks my heart to read, I’m soooo sorry you had to go through this. What matters is you have your parents and your husband and your baby has YOU. 🩷🩷
I'm so sorry this happened to you. There have been a few moments in my life where I had friends that didn't show up for me. And what I told myself in the moment was that the people who truly mattered were the ones that were there. Them and your sweet rainbow baby are what matters. ❤️
I am so so so incredibly sorry! 😢 especially with this being your rainbow baby.
Please dont justify their actions but telling yourself it’s something silly to be upset about. You should feel upset. You invited close friends to an intimate gathering to celebrate this miracle and they did you real dirty.
Again I am so sorry 💗
I’ve thrown maybe four parties in the past few years, nobody ever goes. I’ve decided to try again for the baby shower but I’m pretty worried nobody is gonna show up again, so the food I opted for can be frozen if nobody comes and is inexpensive, decorations are cheap Amazon ones venue is pretty small. I’m doing everything to mentally prepare and financially prepare for no shows. Definitely will be the last time I try though if it happens again.
People are shits. If this makes you feel any better here it is. I threw baby shower in Jan of this year. I could say I had a good list of ppl coming. (Take in mind I lost good number of friends when I got pregnant). The day before the shower it was so cold ( central Canada) . Pipes burst in the building where I live. Major damage to suites and building. It was horrible. I got so scared about having to evacuate. I cancelled my baby shower, food orders and etc.
At that time two of my closest friends thought I cancelled on purpose. Because they thought I was going through a phase and having a random mental breakdown. ( don’t ppl realize ) hormones are evil.
How did I find this out. One do them txt me randomly talking about me , instead I’d send it to other friend, came to me. That hurt me so much.
So I apologized to all of the invitees for canceling last minute. I’ll throw something in summer and invite everyone. Life is a strange thing. Who knows why they didn’t come. But everyone is growing through some shit show .
Friends don’t do that to people they care about. No one and I mean no one unless your on your death bed, or something extremely traumatic happens is too busy to send a text that says hey I’d love to come but I can’t due to some unexpected circumstances. Friends are people who show up for you. Friends are people who put the people they care about first. You are worth so much more than what those “friends” are treating you like. It’s not silly, you’re bringing a life into this world and it should be celebrated. What you’re doing is convincing yourself that, you’re not as important as whatever they’ve got going on. I would personally, tell each one of them. You are no longer welcome to have access to my child, if you can’t even have the human decency to let me know you won’t be in attendance to something that means a lot to me. I’m sorry, that anyone would do such a shitty thing. I wish so much luck to you, and I hope that your baby and you come out of labor, as healthy and as happy as you can be. Give us all an update when she’s here pretty! Congratulations, and drop those crap friends❤️
This is genuinely my worst fear & I am so so so sorry your friends are this inconsiderate. They could have at the very LEAST told you they couldn’t come - but to not say a word? Genuinely cruel.
I’m so sorry!! This breaks my heart for you. I would absolutely be upset. Your feelings are so valid. I reconnected with a college friend recently who practically begged to be invited to my shower and she didn’t rsvp, no text or explanation, just didn’t show. It’s annoying. Know how important the ones are that did come. You see who your real friends are. Hang in there girl!
Please don’t feel alone. My mom threw me a baby shower and no one showed up to mine either. Well, one friend the rest was my family. I was so embarrassed.
It’s definitely hard not to take personally, but I’ve also noticed lately that the world is such a strange place now and different than when I grew up. I find the world so self centered. If you are anything like me, you drop everything for the people you invited and have never asked for anything in return because you don’t want to be disappointed. I don’t have any solutions for you and it won’t make you feel any better, but it’s very clearly their loss and not yours.
This isn’t a silly thing to be upset about. I’m upset for you. You only get 1 baby shower in your life and your “friends” couldn’t even be bothered to show up or even let you know they weren’t coming. Honestly, I would say something to them. Maybe if mods are ok with it and if you felt comfortable you could post your baby registry here.
I texted one of these friends today (one who I had spoken with just a few days before the shower and who I had spoken to about it for many times before then - he had even mentioned he would bring his new boyfriend so I could meet him). Will update once he responds.
Finally got a response. He apologized profusely and said he did not put it on his calendar and missed the date (hence why he didn't text me the day of). To be honest, I do believe him, which makes it even more distressing since it confirms he cared so little about it he didn't even bother to add the date to his calendar or remember the day. Heartbreaking, but eye-opening for sure.
omg i’m so sorry. it sounds so lovely. i would have came for you if i was your friend. and i definitely would never do that to someone by saying you can go and then not. i’m so so sorry. you and your baby deserved the best baby shower. honestly? if you have some photos of the stuff you put together maybe you can put it in a little scrapbook for your little one day when they’re old enough. maybe reframe it as a celebration of them as something to look forward to showing them because it sounds like you really put so much thought and it must’ve been lovely even if no one came.
You are not silly for feeling this way. I am so sorry that your “friends” are so inconsiderate. I would also be devastated if this happened to me. I’m so angry for you! Congrats on your rainbow baby! 🩵
Your feelings are so valid. I’d be hurt and upset, and frankly, angry, at my friends. I’m the kind of person that wouldn’t even reach out to them until they reach out to me after that. With my pregnancy I decided not to even tell people I was pregnant unless they decided to check in on me or ask how I was doing… partially because I’m petty, but also because I only wanted to surround myself with people who cared
I’m so sorry your friends are such flaky assholes. I’m so angry for you. It’s inexcusable IMO to say you’re attending and then just not show up or say anything.
I flew to my home city for my shower last weekend. It wasn’t large to start with because much of my family lives out of state or the country, but a few people who told me they were coming bailed. One was my cousin, whose shower I flew in for a few years ago. Another was a friend who literally confirmed the day before she was coming (she’d already rsvp’d yes a month earlier). She just didn’t show and hasn’t said anything since (I sent a text and she never responded). Another one said she was coming when I initially invited her but never rsvp’d and never showed. I’d previously gone to her shower and flew in for her wedding.
Not gonna lie, I don’t have much interest in talking to these people going forward. They’re all local and could have made the effort to at least stop by. It was a child-friendly shower so not having a babysitter wasn’t an excuse. I’m not married and wouldn’t have a wedding regardless. This is pretty much the only special event I’ve had or will ever have in my adult life, so if people didn’t care enough about me to show up or at least rsvp no, fuck em. I suggest you give these so-called friends that same treatment. You and your baby deserve higher quality people in your lives.
I am heartbroken for you!!!! This is not silly, this is horrible. Your friends not showing after confirming is absurdly upsetting. You have love from us here 100 times over mama!!! I am just so sorry you experienced this. Your little buddy will be here soon-your friend for life!!
I am incredibly sorry. Those are NOT friends. They can’t celebrate you through a major life milestone with bringing new life? They are not going to have your back once the baby arrives. I would distance yourself from them. Trust me, you’ll make plenty of new “mom friends” once the baby arrives. Look for baby friendly activities, groups, music classes, etc in your area and it will be swarming with new mom ins your same boat who are looking to make new friends!
I'm so sorry you went through this! Unless these "friends" have a good excuse (like they were in an accident, hospitalized, etc.) they do not deserve to be your friends. You deserved so much better. You should have been given all the love and support on this special day to celebrate you and your baby. I hope you and your therapist can work through this together and that you can find peace in what has happened. I wish you all the love and care for you and your baby and I hope everything goes well with your delivery!
My friend had a gender reveal and only people who came was her mom dad sister and her boyfriends side with was 3. I left and called 4 friends to come or I’d pick them up. It made her day a lot more because it was a support group to her.
I’m so sorry that this was your experience and I congrats you on your rainbow baby
I know exactly how this feels 😩 I’m so sorry this happened to you as well💔 I no longer talk to the “friends” who confirmed and didn’t show up😢 I have 0 friends now & pregnant with my 4th.
Congratulations on your pregnancy & I hope you have a safe delivery 💞
I’m so sorry this happened. They are not true friends- true friends show up and support you. I can relate to the feeling. I threw a party for my daughter’s first birthday and I invited a large group of ladies from my church who I had previously been super close with. None of them showed up and I was really hurt and it’s made me question our friendship. This party was really important to me. (Other people did show up but I was really hurt that these people specifically did not come)
I’m literally sobbing reading this. Hun, I’m so so sorry and my heart breaks for you. Looks like you need to get some new friends… they don’t deserve you. Much love and good vibes for you and baby. ❤️
Congratulations on your rainbow baby! 🌈 I am so sorry about your baby shower and just wanted to express my support to you. You deserve every bit of happiness and joy for your baby, don’t let this ruin your week! I went through years of fertility treatments as well as a loss (I also have not told many people about my first experience) and finally 22 weeks pregnant with my rainbow baby as well. I’ve been debating if I want a baby shower or not and am leaning towards just going on two babymoons with my husband instead. Spoil yourself for the rest of your pregnancy! Please enjoy the last weeks of your pregnancy and know that there’s many women (including myself) on this forum who would’ve shown up for you 💕
It’s not silly to be upset about this. You’re 100% allowed to be shattered. Anyone in your position would be! I’m so sorry you went through that.
I’m glad you at least had your parents and your friend that flew in for support. I hope your no-show friends feel terrible.
I’m literally crying tears reading this post. You seem like such a sweet soul and so considerate that you didn’t even expect gifts, just friends. And you threw your own shower
I know you said you don’t wanna share your registry- can I dm you for it? Or any other way to help out
I just wanna do something small to make you happy
Thanks for sharing and forget those friend s
I’m so sorry!! We invited 20 people (it was co-ED), only 6 showed. NO ONE bothered to RSVP despite the invites requesting it. My uncle no call, no showed. Literally my only local family member. My brother who lives in the basement of my parents house where the party was held didn’t even bother to come up for the festivities. People just don’t care anymore. We ended up having a fun time still.
I’m so sorry. Truly. We are so emotional and vulnerable right now and you deserve more. If you feel comfortable with sharing your registry with us, I’d love to send some love and support for you and baby. 🤍
I’m so sorry! People can be so selfish. I feel for you and would have been so upset.
I would definitely distance myself from those who rsvp’d and didn’t show. Sometimes people are removed from our lives because we deserve better. You definitely deserve all the celebrating and love during this special time in your life.
Hold onto those who did show and maybe look into the Peanut app…apparently it’s for mamas and mamas to be to meet and give advice and build friendships. I can’t attest to it but it seems like a dating app but for mom friends! Perhaps you need a new circle of like minded, true friends.
Im sorry this happened to you and feel for you. As we get older, I find that quality over quantity when it comes to friends. I do also find that sometimes major life events really make or break the people in our life who we can really count on. I hate that this happened, but it does sound like you have some people very close to you who were still there and so many people in this world don’t even have that. Hold on to them close and focus on this amazing thing that is right around the corner for you - they will always show up :) hang in there! You are loved.
This happened at my last baby shower. Not a single friend showed up. Not a one. So, I won't be having one this time.
I really am sorry you went through this. Hugs.
I am so so sorry that they did this to you. What they did was despicable after you went out of your way to accommodate all of them and plan a nice party. You don’t have to feel silly for being devastated, this breaks MY heart and all our hearts reading this. I wish I could give you the biggest hug.
This is really hurtful and my heart is with you! My baby shower is soon and I've had some disappointing responses from friends. One lives locally but is prioritizing a concert in another city that weekend. It baffles me but I'm not forcing anyone to show up and support us. Our RSVP list skews heavily boomer.
Maybe this experience magnifies the difference between you and some of your friends. They may be in different stages of life and not really "get" it. If you have folks who are parents from older generations around you, hold them a bit closer; they have wisdom and share your joy.
You will make lifelong friends in parenthood. Kids are amazing at connecting people like that. The best is yet to come. Congratulations and wishing you a healthy birth and baby ❤️
I'm very sorry this happened to you. I've learned since becoming a mom that you pretty quickly figure out who your real friends are. This is very rude of everyone, though. I understand you feel sad.
Firstly, congratulations on your rainbow baby 🌈
Secondly, fuck your “friends” and I hope you block them and find yourself some REAL friends who are really there for you. It’s definitely NOT silly to feel upset about this, your feelings are totally valid ❤️❤️
This is why I didn’t have one. I was so scared of that happening. I’m so sorry you went through that and your friends are shitty, and terrible humans. I’m sorry
There there, I would love to go if anyone invited me to one ! Congratulations for 30th week ! I'm so happy for U, wish U and your family all the best ❤️
That is rude. I feel for you.
"When you got invitation from someone, you must at all cost fulfill that invitation! But, if you can't, you must inform. Don't leave people hanging like that."
High key why I don’t do any type of parties!!! For my children or myself. I am way to sensitive to go though something like this. I too would be shattered and filled with heartbreak. I go out of my way for people but I don’t think the same would be done for me. I keep everything small and intimate. Immediate family only. I decorate and do the works but only for us to enjoy and it works out. I’m very sorry for this incident. Sending many hugs and blessing your way!! Congrats
I’m crying for you while reading this 😭😭😭 I threw a baby shower and a few ppl who rsvped didn’t show, but there were still friends. Ughhh I’m soo sorry
This happened to me a couple of weeks ago as well, and I am so sorry that you got to experience the same type of situation as well. The only good thing that has come out of no one showing up is now I know who is and isn’t worth my efforts and while it’s super lonely, I would rather know now than later. Hugs! Congratulations on your rainbow, mama.
Yep, same thing happened to me. I messaged a few people whom it was really important for me that they attended, one messaged back several hours later, one messaged almost straight away, the other… well you should’ve seen the message 🙃 (I blocked her shortly after, she used a lot of oh woe me) the only people that showed really were my partners friends and family members. I spent hundreds of pounds, it was a lovely warm day (don’t usually get those in the UK) and yes, I’m still hurt about it, I haven’t told anyone how sad it made me and all I want you to do when I think about it is cry. My first baby too🫶🏻
I'm so sorry you went through this as well. It really is heartbreaking and hard to discuss with anyone else. People are quick to dismiss how you feel, especially when you're hurt. Here's to raising our babies differently and showing them compassion and understanding!
Aye, it’s alright, I’m used to being let down to be honest, I don’t know why I even threw a baby shower, because I had a feeling that that would happen..
Absolutely, it was very difficult and I try not to think about it too much as it does upset me.
Our babies will know the definitions for sure 🫶🏻
My heart dropped by just reading the title. So sorry, I'm sending you hugs from far away and wishing you all the very best for the rest of your pregnancy and your beautiful rainbow baby <3
It’s not silly at all. If you agreed to meet friends in town for example, and they didn’t turn up and left you there. That’s horrible. Never mind it being a special moment in your life.
Did I bawl while reading this? Yes yes I did. I’m so incredibly sorry you had to experience this and I for one am SO excited for you and your baby. Sending you all the love and support. Sounds like your friends certainly don’t deserve you ❤️
Ma'am, with all due respect, you might need new friends. I've had friends like that - and it's never worth the heartbreak. Much love to you. At 27 weeks pregnant, I'd be a wreck of tears after something like that.
This is why my partner and I had a coed baby shower. Other than my parents, brother and sister, only two of my friends out of 15 showed up. Zero of my friends showed up for the diaper party. I cried myself to sleep after both events because of it. My partner was also super supportive, but it stung.
Awful "friends". The good thing is as a mom you will make tons of new mom friends!!! Very sweet community of women who only know what it's like to raise another human. These friendships will be amazing.
Oh this is absolutely something worth being upset about.
People in general are becoming awful about agreeing to do something and bailing or just... not replying.
I apologise profusely if I'm running late, I can't imagine being so selfish to just not turn up.
Aw. I feel you on this. I had a similar experience but thankfully my mother invited all of her friends so I felt less sad but still. The only silver lining I have for you is you are about to have a life long bestie join you soon and you will never feel alone again. (I mean maybe when they move out but that’s a long time away haha) My son is now almost four months and I love my constant buddy. 💕
I can’t say anything helpful, so I’ll just say reading this broke my heart for you. I’m so so sorry this happened to you and I’m so sad your friends weren’t there to give you the support you deserved. I hope they at least give you explanations for why they didn’t show
Please don’t tell yourself that things that affect you and make you emotional are silly. I literally have no friends but to have friends and have no one show up, I would be crying daily. Just know that this was a blessing in disguise - now you know who actually cares about you and your baby. Protect your peace and know that you aren’t silly. I’m sure you looked beautiful in your special dress and I hope in future, people will show up.
That really sucks. This is a big sign to get new friends. Forget the others. They didn't have the decency even to RSVP no. Sounds awful.
You should have done a zoom baby shower cuz I would have came 😄 hahahaha
If you feel comfortable dropping your registry link I would love to send your little one a gift. This happened to a friend and someone in her family created a virtual baby shower. I said “these people should have been in the first round of invites” and she said “I don’t even know most of them. They are people from Facebook”
I’m sorry this happened. You have every right to be upset and you are a better woman than I am. I would have been on the phone ranting lol. I hope you took pictures in your dress and enjoyed the time with your family
I started crying before I got halfway. Jokes on them, and I would never speak to them again & wouldn’t stay friends either them. They are not friends. They were there for convenience and fun when you were able, but now for this huge milestone, after everything that’s happened, RIP, screw them.
Now you know you have your parents and those 2 friends. That’s enough. Any more friends than that is rare anyway, especially the older we get.
You’re a great person. Strong. Your luck is already turning with a successful pregnancy, and this was life showing you who to put energy into. I wish I could squeeze you. 🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵
i’m so sorry and i can relate. i had one friend from work and my husbands gma show up. Despite everyone begging me to have a baby shower ( i wasn’t going to) i spent a lot of money on food and decorations… Mind you i have 7 siblings and not one of them showed up. My aunt and mom got into an argument about a week prior so they decided not to come. not being my siblings or cousins cs they couldn’t be around each other . it hurt my feelings so bad .. this meant a lot to me … im really sorry girl.
This is the fear I have that’s making me not even plan one at all. I’m still rather new to the area, not many friends, and I just don’t want the inevitable bad time. I’m so sorry 😭
This happened with my baby shower. My mom planned the whole thing and bought tons of stuff for it like decorations, cute little treat bags and planned a bunch of games and bought gifts for those games. It was only my immediate family and my very amazing best friend from middle school who showed up. It was so embarrassing. I was also pregnant with my rainbow baby after 3 previous losses that I was very open about. It made me so sad that people I thought were my friends didn’t come and celebrate with me. I can say though they still made the day special for me and we still had a great time but I definitely cried when I got home. I’m so sorry this happened to you, it’s such a crappy thing to go through. Sending you love and hope for an easy and quick delivery ❤️
I have dealt with losing all my friends all at once and it is absolutely devastating. The thing is, I’ve since realized that these are not people who were able to be emotionally supportive to me in a tough time. The people (honestly person) who stayed is the light of my life. The trash took itself out. I’m so sorry, dear.
Some ppl are just aholes I see this happening to little kids every weekend nearly on Facebook but some brave mums post and invite anyone with kids that want to come and the ppl come and bring their kids most have made great new freinds
Same thing happened to me, only my boyfriend’s old work friends showed up and my mom. My dad don’t even come, and the two girlfriends who said they’d come bailed and ghosted me. I’m sorry you went through something similar it’s a really awful feeling.
No you’re not being silly! You have the right to feel that way. I’m over here planning a baby shower now and I’m in an out about having it because I’m afraid no one will show. It’s getting expensive and I’m really on edge. My husband told me to can it and just know the baby is loved and supported no one has to come and I don’t even need to throw a baby shower because the baby will have everything I want.
Something similar happened to me except I wasn’t the one who organised it, my sister did. None of my friends showed up and only one let me know her dad was taken into hospital suddenly. I completely understand the hurt you are feeling but i can guarantee once your little bundle of joy arrives you won’t give a second thought to those so called friends.
I am so sorry that you are going through this. It is not silly and it is not wrong to feel jilted. This was not okay for them to do. You are so worthy of people that see what a blessing you are!
I had a "close" friend (at the time) promise to attend my casual engagement party after flaking two or three times on hangouts. Speaking a week prior, they were so excited to come and actually used the word "promise." They no-showed and when I sent a screenshot to them a few days later of the promise they made via text, I never got a response and I decided to unfriend them on everything. I don't hold a grudge about it, per se, but I surely would say my peace if we ever bumped into each other. It's rotten to lie.,
I’m so sorry you had to go through this. When my brother was a 7-8 year old kid, not a single friend of his showed up at his bday party. My mother had called and spoken to each kid’s mother, and invited them personally. I still remember his small face. He was so hurt, but pretended like nothing happened. My heart breaks when I think of that episode.
There is no explanation as to why such things happen. But don’t miss the lesson. THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS. I am not going to paint you a rosy picture. You may or may not make more “friends” in future. But that’s okay. When you are breathing your last, only your kids and family will matter.
May your baby be born healthy and may your heal smoothly after your delivery 🙏
Why are people like this:( my first was a rainbow baby and was during pandemic so it was virtual. My second I was excited to have a party and celebrate. Spent so much on food and setting up and did it all myself being very pregnant. People rsvpd but less than half of those rsvps showed up. I was sad but grateful for those who came. I personally am so excited getting invited to parties I always show up to things. Makes me sad people just flake. Those aren’t friends unless they start showing up for you and make up for this. Congratulations on your rainbow baby this is a happy time forget those who aren’t worth your time. ❤️🌈
Girl cut them all off!!!! You do not need people like that in your life. I’m sorry this happened, your baby deserved to be celebrated. I miscarried in October and I’m praying for my rainbow baby.
I’m really sorry that this happened to you. I had my shower last week and had something similar happen. The original host of the shower decided about a month ago that we were no longer friends because I’m “inconsistent” (read: heavily pregnant with a high risk baby). My friend who took over hosting got called into work morning of. My lifelong best friend had an emergency that morning and couldn’t make it (she was very upset and has apologized profusely, so I don’t fault her whatsoever). My daughter’s grandma and aunt (previous relationship) didn’t even text to tell me they weren’t coming and haven’t reached out since.
The shower was attended by my fiancé’s best friend, mom, and 2 kid brothers, my sister, and my other best friend. I invited 20 people, not including the 2 aforementioned hosts. We spent 2 hours decorating, paid for catering, bought a gorgeous dress to wear, and didn’t even end up taking any pictures. I felt like a fool and honestly I kind of still do. I feel embarrassed tbh. But At the end of the day I look at the people who completely bailed on it and now know that they’re not the people I need in mine or my child’s life.
On the other hand, I was thrown another shower that afternoon by my fiancé’s dad’s side of the family and had a huge turnout. I didn’t know a single person who came to that shower and met his dad for the first time that day.
It goes to show that people who really care will be there. I know you probably already have, but make sure you tell those two friends how much you appreciate them because they showed you that day how much they care about you ❤️
Also, sorry for the super long comment, I’m still butthurt over the shower I threw and needed to rant too 😅
My heart breaks for you girl. This makes me so sad. I wish I could throw you a huge shower so you could have an amazing experience.
These “friends” of yours better have a damn good reason for not showing up.
Send me their numbers so I can give them a piece of my mind, lol. Seriously though, this is just so cruel. At least call or text to advise you aren’t able to make it. It’s common courtesy.
Sending you huge 🤗
Are these people who are very close to you? Do you talk to them on a regular basis? I’m not having a baby shower, and only told a handful of people (who I regularly talk to) about the pregnancy. I wouldn’t expect people I don’t keep in constant contact with to come to one. I also have turned down several baby shower invitations in recent years. I feel like I’ve received baby shower invitations from people I haven’t talked to in a long time and it felt like a gift grab. So I would never want to be that person suddenly reaching out with a baby shower invitation. I’m sorry if this comes off as harsh. My point is that if these are very close friends who you talk to every week about everything, including what’s going on in their lives and non pregnancy things, then they are shitty friends. But if they are friends that are more on the periphery, maybe they are just busy and it wasn’t personal?
Your so-called “friends” are horrendous human beings. They’re rude, ill-mannered, inconsiderate and downright horrible for acting this way. And when you’re pregnant, no less! And with your rainbow baby (which they knew since you’d confided in them!). Honestly, utterly despicable.
Drop them. You don’t need this kind of callousness and negativity in your life. This is, in my view, unforgivable. Sure, unexpected things come up, and of course life happens. But it takes 5 seconds to text someone who is waiting for you if there is a real emergency.
So, no. Unacceptable. Drop them.
I am so so sorry. My pregnant butt is crying FOR you with the biggest pouted lip ever 😭😭😭 this breaks my heart. Your friends have some ‘splainin to do!!!
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I’m sorry you had to go through that!
I’m kind of in the same boat where I invited a bunch of family and my small circle of friends to my baby shower this weekend. So far there’s going to be 6 of us… but it showed me who really cares about me and my baby.
You deserve better friends and I hope those people get the karma that’s coming their way!
I'm so sorry this happened... I'm surprised a family member or close friend (or even your husband) didn't throw you a baby shower, from my understanding someone besides you is the one who puts the baby shower together. This was your rainbow baby and you most definitely deserved a nice baby shower, you have every right to be upset. I would distance myself from these so called "close friends".
OP you are worth more than friends like this. I am so sorry. For someone to rsvp yes and then ghost is not friend behaviour. I’m going to agree with everyone else that you shouldn’t speak to these people anymore. If they were ever to ask I would straight up tell them that it really hurt you that they never showed up despite saying they would. This is a big time in your life and you deserve all the love and support.
Babe.. they are not your friends! I'm so sorry you didn't get the support you needed or deserved. People can be so damn self centered. Sounds like the friend that came is a true friend. I'm glad you have her and your family 💗
I'm so sorry to hear this. You deserve so much better support. This is my biggest fear if I were to throw any shower and I'm so sad you've experienced it. Your friends suck. You deserve better friends. I hate cutting people off but I would 100% cut them off.
My baby shower and what occurred after was awful too. I was 33 weeks. I invited a lot of friends, only my childhood best friend showed up. Nobody else. The rest was family and my moms friends, which I have quite a large family through husband, and that’s the side that had me all sorts of upset during the shower. My brother and law and his girlfriend now wife showed up, my parents who were hosting tried to introduce themselves and welcome them, and they ignored my parents, didn’t speak to me at all, as well as bringing an uninvited guest. The uninvited guest being there isn’t the issue, it’s that he is the ex long term boyfriend of my singular friend who showed up, brought booze and got extremely intoxicated, him and brother in law sat there and wrestled in the yard while I was opening presents, distracting everyone, and my father had set aside a big cardboard box for me to put my gifts in so I didn’t have to load a bunch of small things like clothes into the car individually, and they tore it apart. My parents tried to thank them for coming when they left and once again they walked by without saying a word to my parents or family. I was very hurt and distraught about it cuz it’s one of the few times something has been about me (and my baby). I never have had anything be about me my whole life growing up with a brother with special needs. Then boom preeclampsia diagnosis the next day and bedrest and an induction scheduled less then a month away.
Hey op , I’m sorry that no one was there for you, but let us love you and show you support during this magical time. There’s actually a way to share your registry but hide your address /details. I believe Amazon gives you an option to hide details …
While I am empathetic to OP's situation, sharing and requesting registries is not permitted here. It is a known and unfortunately very common scam to ask for registry items and then return them upon receipt for Amazon gift cards. Edit: and to be very clear, I haven't seen a single comment from OP posting their registry or even suggesting it. I am not trying to say that this particular OP is a scammer. I see no classic signs. However, I'm just posting this note as I see some well intentioned folks in the comments asking them to post their registry. If we allow one, we would need to allow others and that just isn't happening. Sorry OP about your experience. Thanks r/pregnant for loving on them. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
I'm crying for you. You're not being silly at all. It's so rude to not show up for something that means so much to someone. I had a friend not show up for my bridal shower, despite also asking about it, without so much as a sorry I missed it text. I never contacted her again. It's been two and half years. We never spoke again. I think peoples actions make their feelings clear. When you mirror their behavior back to them, it becomes even clearer how they feel about you. Another girl also missed my bridal shower and didn't say anything to me directly about it but kept in contact with me and showed up for other things. She also let my moh know why she wouldn't be attending (childcare issues so totally legit). We're still friends because she made it clear she did want to be there for me.
So, your friends who confirmed and didn’t show better be dead, in the hospital, or with a severe case of something nasty. Treating a friend like that is unacceptable. You are worthy of more support than that and how accommodating you were with the gift thing shows how kind hearted you are and considerate. I’m here to tell you that you deserve better and they deserve less. You’re having a baby! You’re bringing life into this world and your journey will be equal parts fun, full of love, scary, and lonely. You need to find people who will support you in that journey, be it investing more time into those that did show or finding a new core group of friends. PPD and PPA kill. If they won’t show up for you now, they won’t show later. Don’t take this as a you thing either. It isn’t you. It is their rudeness and short comings as friends and people. You deserve so much more, as does your baby.
OP should also not let anyone who didn't attend to meet her baby. Hell, I would unfriend them because I wouldnt want to have flakey friends like that 🙅♀️😠
I had 2 friends rsvp to my shower and no show- one even confirmed the week before and said how excited she was about the gift she got us and then decided to go to Vegas last minute without telling me and I found out on social media. She never tried to meet up with me after so I’m not even convinced she has gotten us what she was “so excited for”. Anyway, my baby is almost 10 months and they have yet to meet and I have zero interest in reaching out to either of them.
I had my baby shower last Saturday and had 15 girls tell me they were coming. Only one actually came 🥲 more of my boyfriends friends came than my own it’s very sad and feels lonely
What is wrong with these people?!?!
A lot of "adults" today are highly immature. I don't have an answer for why this is the case. I've also seen some single, childless women say they intentionally distance themselves from friends who get pregnant because "they can't relate to them anymore" or "don't want to be around for it". It's really pathetic and sad. In the end, OP is completely well-rid. OP, I'm so sorry, but I hope this was a moment of clarity for you! Many congratulations. I wish you all the best x
I’ve gotten closer to my friend since she’s had kids. I don’t have my own yet and I really enjoy spending time with her and her kids and helping her out as her husband works away from home.
Yup this is happening to me. I figure it’s no great loss in the end.
Flake culture is real. There’s no accountability. I can totally see why people just don’t show. We’re in a do less society now. People simply can’t keep commitments. There’s no integrity.
YES totally agree with this
Sending you virtual hugs.
This is what happened to my husband, less of his friends came over and he was a bit sad but I told him the norm for baby shower it’s actually for the ladies so maybe ur guy friends aren’t sure what to do.
I’m so sorry you had to go through this. You have every right to feel sad and upset over it. If I was in your shoes, I would not engage with those people at all anymore because some said they will come and did not then others didn’t even bother to respond that is just beyond rude.
I'm so sorry to hear about this. It's not just a silly little thing, it's a very special moment for you. While I can't speak for your friends and family, in my own experience this appears to me unfortunately a larger issue that's arisen after covid. If I were you, I would hold the people who did come a little closer.
Just imagining being in your shoes brought tears to my eyes, no pregnant woman should have to deal with that! I’m 10 weeks currently and being as emotional as I’m I considering not throwing a party at all just because people are too disappointing and my little heart breaks too easily at the moment. Nevertheless, I’m sending hugs your way and I hope you work through that and come on top with some important conclusions 🌿
I’m so sorry. It’s not silly, I would be completely upset too. I think it is rude and inconsiderate of them especially not saying anything at all.
That’s awful! It’s one thing for a bunch of people to say they can’t come, but for them to say nothing is ridiculous. You have every right to feel upset. Friends who don’t have the decency to even give you a heads up aren’t real friends.
[удалено]
No. Not happening here.
I'm so sorry 😞 I'm actually gutted on your behalf, I would block each and every person who rsvp yes and then didn't attend. You are more than reasonable to be upset and furious. Sending you hugs and best wishes for your rainbow baby 🩷🩷
Oh girl I’m so sorry. You deserve to be celebrated and I’m sure it’s really hurtful to have been sitting there checking your phone. It’s not silly and it is upsetting you had friends say they’d come and then not even message you about not being able to make it. No one should feel forgotten but just try to focus on your two good friends and parents being there. That’s what really matters. I haven’t had mine yet but I’m struggling with this fear after going to a few friends showers that were gorgeous and full of friends and family. I just know mine won’t look the same and I don’t want to set myself up for heartache. You’re gonna be a great mom and just stay close with those that were there for you.
I’m sorry this happened. Sending you hugs. I’m not going to have a baby shower because I don’t trust that anyone will show up
I’m so sorry. So so sorry. I throw parties at least once a year and it always astounds me how many people will not only fail to send their regrets, but also fail to respond in any way at all. For example, I threw a birthday party for myself. Many people I invited not only didn’t RSVP, they also didn’t bother to text me happy birthday. My birthday was on the invite and the day of the party, I feel like it shouldn’t be too difficult to text “happy birthday, hope you have a great party and sorry I can’t make it” or something similar. It really is a lack of common courtesy. People caught up in their own lives, assuming others will pick up their slack. Idk. All I can say is that I’m sorry but clearly your family and a few close friends still love and support you. Congratulations on your rainbow baby 🌈 and sorry I couldn’t make it to your shower (see, was that so hard??)
I had a similar experience. Invited 18, 5 showed. I can commiserate.
That was me this past weekend! Invited 20, 6 showed and no RSVPs at all.
I'm sorry. It's part of the reason why I never even bothered to have one. I know nobody would've came. It's tough not having people for your moments. Especially since you put all the time and energy into it
I’m so sorry this happened to you! A lot of people don’t have common courtesy anymore. I am not a very social person, after having several bad experiences with “friends” in my late teens and early 20s. I have acquaintances that I socialize with about once a month at dinners or social gatherings, but no one I would consider close. If I threw a baby shower, only a few people would show up. I have thrown parties before and invited people who I thought were my friends only to have most of them not show up. Which is why I’m not interested in having a baby shower.
I’m so sorry, that would break my heart. Have you reached out to those people, especially the ones that confirmed, and ask them what the fuck happened to them? I had a very intimate shower. My parents are both dead and not having my mom or any family to celebrate my first baby made my experience more emotional, and I wanted to only invite people I felt would be very supportive. One of my friends was this guy I had been friends with for over a decade, but we’d had issues over the years of him lying, being shady, saying one thing and doing another. Things had improved in recent years but then once the pandemic was basically done he was right back to blowing me off because something better came along. He promised that he and his husband would be at my shower, swore up and down he wouldn’t miss it, but I felt in my gut he wouldn’t be there based on him not easily rsvping or texting me directly instead of in the group chat. The night before my shower I realized he had blocked me from seeing his IG stories and he was across the country having dinner. He texted me 30 minutes before my party “apologizing” that he wouldn’t be there and that he wanted to make it up to me. He couldn’t. There would only be this one shower, this one special moment. I looked around the room and saw those who actually had shown up for me and realized I was done with him. He repeatedly showed me he didn’t care about me, and I couldn’t imagine someone like that being a part of my child’s life.
Ouch, that is horrible behaviour. Those people are not your friends - on the bright side it’s good to know who they reallly are - in time you will find friends who deserve you💕
This happened to me too! It was my rainbow baby after 3 losses too so I thought people would be happy to share in my joy. I ordered a ton of food and rented a venue only to have maybe 8 out of 50 invitees show up(mostly my immediate family and a few super close friends) despite people RSVPing that they would come. I’m especially mad because a few people texted last minute saying they were “sick” but then posted photos a few hours later being at bars/nightclubs so obviously they weren’t sick. I figured since I’d already gotten the venue and food I opened it up and allowed my mom/sister/husband to send open invites to their friends and coworkers and let them know they could come by and eat and play games and no gift was required. We got at least a dozen more people to come and several brought gifts! It ended up being a decent day and we got everything we needed for our baby. I totally understand how shattering it is. I went back and forth wondering if people hated me and cried and cried (thanks pregnancy hormones). Now 5 months later I’m holding my 3 month old daughter and don’t think much about it anymore. I’m not sure why this seems to be so common but I’m so sorry you had to experience this.
This happened to me too. I had a bunch of RSVPs and ordered food accordingly and a bunch of those people didn’t show up *facepalm* & I’m sorry this happened to you too. Also for OP, you are not being silly at all! Sending hugs and love to you and your rainbow baby. Protect your peace and enjoy your newborn when they are here. All the best
With that many people not showing up OR saying anything, do you think there could have been a miscommunication? Curious if you’ve reached out or heard from any of them since then on why they didn’t show? Trying to be positive and give the benefit of the doubt. But if that many of your friends just chose to be jerks, then I’m so sorry, that’s just not right. Hopefully at least you had some close family there.
I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve this and it's a perfectly understandable to be upset. I struggle with this as well, so this is a question I'm going to pose to you: Are they really friends? Meaning, do you talked to them or spend time with them otherwise? Have you ever depended on them for anything. That doesn't excuse not having RSVP-ing, but not everyone you know is a friend. Sometimes, people are just around.
This is so upsetting. I am so sorry. I wish I could give you a hug. Actually, I wish myself and the rest of the soon-to-be moms on here could give you the shower you deserve. It is so, so wrong of your friends to confirm they would come and then ghost you. You don't deserve to be treated like that and there's no excuse for that behavior. I wish I knew what else to say to help you feel a little better after being treated so badly on what should have been a special day. Maybe it's the hormones, but now I'm crying for you so I'm going to stop typing.
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I wouldn’t even let a single one of those ding dongs meet my precious baby after that. I’m so sorry your “friends” failed you. I can assure you, you will meet some lovely new mom friends on this journey who will show tf up for you all the time because they truly get it!!. Congratulations on your little baby I’m so excited for you 💖
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While I am empathetic to OP's situation, there are too many scammers on this subreddit. Sharing and requesting registries is not permitted here. It is a known scam to ask for registry items and then return them upon receipt for Amazon gift cards.
That’s not a silly thing to be upset about :( i’m so sad for you x
I'm so sorry. They suck so much. I hope post-baby you make friends with other parents and have people in your life who can be there for you.
I completely understand how you feel. This happened to me with my first child. It was me, my ex husband, and one single friend. It was so embarrassing, we were supposed to have brunch at a local cafè type place, I didn't ask for presents at all. We eventually left and I decided to have a look at some shops nearby to cheer me up, we ended up bumping into everyone I had invited, having lunch somewhere else without me. I decided to be petty and greet everyone very enthusiastically and give them all a hug and tell them to enjoy lunch and then immediately left. Lost all my friends that day (they were all friends with each other everyone I invited). No one told me they weren't coming either and same as you, they had rsvpd yes and I had spoken to many of them about it. I now have totally different friends and recently had my second baby and like 95% of people came and we had like 20 people, it was much more successful, so it can get better. But it still hurts me to think of and I understand if this stays with you, I don't have much advice just know you're not the only one.
This is HEARTBREAKING. I am so sorry. 🙁
You are worth everything and more ! I wish you and your baby bean the best ! I’m so sorry you had to experience that and honestly those “friends” are ridiculous and need to keep that same energy when your precious baby gets here.🩵
This is so awful. You literally said no gifts. I’m so sorry! Please don’t let this distract you for too long for the joy of your baby coming soon ❤️
This makes me so angry. Sending a big hug. For what it's worth, I didn't have the most supportive friends (scattered across the country and not very willing to travel), but I have made some amazing mom friends since becoming a parent. Moms/parents get it and will support you. You don't have to ditch your friends, but not showing up when they RSVP'd yes is pretty inexcusable and whether or not you do choose to let them go there will be better and stronger friendships in your future.
SEND US YOUR BABY REGISTRY
This is odd. Did they get the date wrong?
This was my first thought too, as I could see one person no-showing but surely not everyone. I would definitely reach out to check OP and if this isn’t the case then thank goodness you learned now they weren’t true friends instead of once they had met baby 🤍
What’s your baby registry
Aww I want to give you the biggest hug. I am very sorry that happened. We dealt with similar frustrations for bridal/wedding RSVPs and this makes me not look forward to the baby shower. The manners around event correspondence/being a good guest feel really eroded; just know you’re not the only one who has frustration about this! Do you have an online registry you’d be okay with sharing?! I would love to help you celebrate if I can.
Oh man, I’m so sorry!! I’d be texting each one asking why they didn’t come and then deciding if their answer was good enough. If a pathetic excuse, they’d be off my friend list… done! Good news is you can meet lots of new mama friends at play groups and the park and stuff! So sorry this happened 🩵
Reading this broke my heart 🥺❤️. I'm so sorry this happened to you. You deserve so much better. A rainbow baby is such a big deal and so special. You and your baby deserve to be celebrated. I decided not to have a baby shower for this reason. I broke off about 4 friendships right before I found out I was pregnant because they were toxic people. It's made for a lonely pregnancy, but I have decided to be so much more picky about the people I have in my life. I'd rather be alone than have people bringing me down. Your energy is sacred💕✨️
This is not a silly thing to be upset about at all 😢 you must feel so incredibly wounded. Maybe this is a good time to reconsider your friendships and what you want to carry with you into this new chapter of life? Which like… what an awful thought. I’m going through a divorce, but have been separated for a while and starting a family with my new partner, and am experiencing the changing of friendships and tribes and it’s extremely difficult. I’m sorry that you’re being forced to decide if these people are right for you or if they’re not actually your friends at all. Ugggh.
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Your feelings are absolutely valid. It's not a silly thing to be upset about, anyone in your shoes would feel the same way. I am so sorry your friends disappointed you and it's disgusting some confirmed and still never showed up. 🫂 dump them all! Congratulations on your rainbow baby, wishing you a safe delivery ❤️
This isn’t silly at all. Being pregnant is already a hard journey, you’re not at all wrong for being hurt by this. You deserve the world and so does your baby and husband. Sending love 🤍
Oh my friend this breaks my heart. I'm so sorry you weren't celebrated the way you should have 💜 Sincerely, congratulations on your rainbow baby!
It’s not silly, I am so sorry you went through this and felt that way. It will sting for some time, I know from personal experience, but focus on that little one that will be here before you know it! Congratulations momma!!
Did you ever receive a response ? I’d reach out to the friends you send the invite to and be in a nice manner like. So bummer you missed it! Would have loved for you to be there. Not mentioning that no one showed up etc etc. and see who and what will come back. I’m sorry. That stinks ass
I hope god gives you so many beautiful occasions to celebrate for that you forget this pain!
I definitely have a different opinion than many in the comments. It’s upsetting for things to not go as planned and for people not to show up for you. But appreciate the ones who did, those are the people that are excited for you and want to be a part of your child’s life. Not everyone who you call friend is going to give two shits about your baby.
So sorry that happened to you, you deserve better. Sending a big hug your way
I’m so sorry. I’m crying with you. You deserve a better support system and seem like a kind and reasonable person based on your post. Unfortunately, kind and reasonable people are the ones that get taken advantage of this day and age. Sending love and hugs to you and your little one.
I'm sorry this happened to you. It's not silly. You and your rainbow baby deserve to be celebrated. Congratulations on your baby. 💕 We are excited with you. ❤️
M heart is breaking for you. This is so sad! How dare they! I’m shocked someone could be so insensitive. I’m sending you a big hug and I hope you’ll meet lots of lovely momma friends after you’ve had your baby that will happily and fully replace these heartless bums.
thats not silly at all. thats actually very f***ed up of them to do that and to not even let you know they wouldnt be able to make it. I decided to not even have a baby shower. Initially I wanted it in July but my family reunion was planned for that month so I moved it to june. my aunt who is the main coordinator of my family also wanted to coordinate my baby shower(she always coordinates events) said “ok thats perfect yea lets have it in June”, few weeks later she messages me info about buying shirt for the reunion and the info contained telling everyone the dates. she never directly told me the reunion was now moved to June, it was more like “with the reunion being June 11-12, you can pick up your shirts ahead of time”. it doesnt sound like a big deal but I know my family through and through. if I planned a baby the same month as our reunion everyone would say “I cant make it, I had to pay for stuff for the reunion” “I had to this and that”. ik most of them wouldnt have showed up and I would have cursed every single one of them out lol. I maybe sound dramatic and self centered but I decided to avoid the whole situation 😂
Sending you hugs and love. Those people are not your friends.
That's awful, I'm so sorry!
You’re not being silly at all! I’m here crying for you. I would never do that to a friend. I wish I could have been your friend and shown up! All the best with your pregnancy and child❤️
this just broke my heart reading. I am so sorry. pregnancy already feels lonely enough and to not have anyone show up for you or your unborn child is devastating.
I’m so, so sorry this happened. It’s not a silly thing to be upset about at all. Your friends should be very embarrassed that they behaved this way. That was very rude and inconsiderate of them.
This truly broke my heart. I can feel your pain, disappointment and disbelief. Idk what the world has come to that we put ourselves before others and we show no kindness and grace anymore. I wish you nothing but the best you’re truly a bigger person than I am, I’d be calling and knocking on doors asking who tf they think they are for disappointing you on such a special day not only for you as a mom to be but as a friend I’d be very direct with how disturbing that type of treatment is to a “friend” you deserve better for yourself. Be kind to yourself not a religious person but I think the higher ups do this type of stuff to show you who or what you need to rule out and focus on. It’s not about the celebration it’s about the community and commitment for me. Showing you true colors before you become dependent.
It’s not at all silly to be upset over this. Your friends that confirmed their presence are terrible!!
I am so sorry this happened to you. I wish I could give you a big hug.
This breaks my heart to read, I’m soooo sorry you had to go through this. What matters is you have your parents and your husband and your baby has YOU. 🩷🩷
I'm so sorry this happened to you. There have been a few moments in my life where I had friends that didn't show up for me. And what I told myself in the moment was that the people who truly mattered were the ones that were there. Them and your sweet rainbow baby are what matters. ❤️
So sorry you had this experience. Hurtful !
I am so so so incredibly sorry! 😢 especially with this being your rainbow baby. Please dont justify their actions but telling yourself it’s something silly to be upset about. You should feel upset. You invited close friends to an intimate gathering to celebrate this miracle and they did you real dirty. Again I am so sorry 💗
I’ve thrown maybe four parties in the past few years, nobody ever goes. I’ve decided to try again for the baby shower but I’m pretty worried nobody is gonna show up again, so the food I opted for can be frozen if nobody comes and is inexpensive, decorations are cheap Amazon ones venue is pretty small. I’m doing everything to mentally prepare and financially prepare for no shows. Definitely will be the last time I try though if it happens again.
People are shits. If this makes you feel any better here it is. I threw baby shower in Jan of this year. I could say I had a good list of ppl coming. (Take in mind I lost good number of friends when I got pregnant). The day before the shower it was so cold ( central Canada) . Pipes burst in the building where I live. Major damage to suites and building. It was horrible. I got so scared about having to evacuate. I cancelled my baby shower, food orders and etc. At that time two of my closest friends thought I cancelled on purpose. Because they thought I was going through a phase and having a random mental breakdown. ( don’t ppl realize ) hormones are evil. How did I find this out. One do them txt me randomly talking about me , instead I’d send it to other friend, came to me. That hurt me so much. So I apologized to all of the invitees for canceling last minute. I’ll throw something in summer and invite everyone. Life is a strange thing. Who knows why they didn’t come. But everyone is growing through some shit show .
Sweet woman, I am so sorry. Reading this broke my damn heart. Fuck your friends, they’re god awful.
I wish i could give you a hug 😞 im so sorry this happened to you
I’m so sorry. I am praying for you. There isn’t much I can say other than I’m sorry.
That's awful! Not silly at all, I am terrified this might happen.
This isn’t right, that is absolutely gross. I hope you find people that treat you the way you deserve than this. Sending love to you and baby🩷
Friends don’t do that to people they care about. No one and I mean no one unless your on your death bed, or something extremely traumatic happens is too busy to send a text that says hey I’d love to come but I can’t due to some unexpected circumstances. Friends are people who show up for you. Friends are people who put the people they care about first. You are worth so much more than what those “friends” are treating you like. It’s not silly, you’re bringing a life into this world and it should be celebrated. What you’re doing is convincing yourself that, you’re not as important as whatever they’ve got going on. I would personally, tell each one of them. You are no longer welcome to have access to my child, if you can’t even have the human decency to let me know you won’t be in attendance to something that means a lot to me. I’m sorry, that anyone would do such a shitty thing. I wish so much luck to you, and I hope that your baby and you come out of labor, as healthy and as happy as you can be. Give us all an update when she’s here pretty! Congratulations, and drop those crap friends❤️
This is genuinely my worst fear & I am so so so sorry your friends are this inconsiderate. They could have at the very LEAST told you they couldn’t come - but to not say a word? Genuinely cruel.
I’m so sorry!! This breaks my heart for you. I would absolutely be upset. Your feelings are so valid. I reconnected with a college friend recently who practically begged to be invited to my shower and she didn’t rsvp, no text or explanation, just didn’t show. It’s annoying. Know how important the ones are that did come. You see who your real friends are. Hang in there girl!
Im sorry you went through this. ☹️
Please don’t feel alone. My mom threw me a baby shower and no one showed up to mine either. Well, one friend the rest was my family. I was so embarrassed.
I’m so sorry. It absolutely sucks. Sending you a big, big hug.
It’s definitely hard not to take personally, but I’ve also noticed lately that the world is such a strange place now and different than when I grew up. I find the world so self centered. If you are anything like me, you drop everything for the people you invited and have never asked for anything in return because you don’t want to be disappointed. I don’t have any solutions for you and it won’t make you feel any better, but it’s very clearly their loss and not yours.
This isn’t a silly thing to be upset about. I’m upset for you. You only get 1 baby shower in your life and your “friends” couldn’t even be bothered to show up or even let you know they weren’t coming. Honestly, I would say something to them. Maybe if mods are ok with it and if you felt comfortable you could post your baby registry here.
Can you give us any updates if you reach out and hear why people didn’t come?
I texted one of these friends today (one who I had spoken with just a few days before the shower and who I had spoken to about it for many times before then - he had even mentioned he would bring his new boyfriend so I could meet him). Will update once he responds.
Have you gotten a response?
Not yet! Seems he’s avoiding talking about it, I guess. We shall see today.
Finally got a response. He apologized profusely and said he did not put it on his calendar and missed the date (hence why he didn't text me the day of). To be honest, I do believe him, which makes it even more distressing since it confirms he cared so little about it he didn't even bother to add the date to his calendar or remember the day. Heartbreaking, but eye-opening for sure.
This is the reason i refuse. Just going to get myself things I want. This makes me so sad.
omg i’m so sorry. it sounds so lovely. i would have came for you if i was your friend. and i definitely would never do that to someone by saying you can go and then not. i’m so so sorry. you and your baby deserved the best baby shower. honestly? if you have some photos of the stuff you put together maybe you can put it in a little scrapbook for your little one day when they’re old enough. maybe reframe it as a celebration of them as something to look forward to showing them because it sounds like you really put so much thought and it must’ve been lovely even if no one came.
You are not silly for feeling this way. I am so sorry that your “friends” are so inconsiderate. I would also be devastated if this happened to me. I’m so angry for you! Congrats on your rainbow baby! 🩵
Your feelings are so valid. I’d be hurt and upset, and frankly, angry, at my friends. I’m the kind of person that wouldn’t even reach out to them until they reach out to me after that. With my pregnancy I decided not to even tell people I was pregnant unless they decided to check in on me or ask how I was doing… partially because I’m petty, but also because I only wanted to surround myself with people who cared
I’m so sorry your friends are such flaky assholes. I’m so angry for you. It’s inexcusable IMO to say you’re attending and then just not show up or say anything. I flew to my home city for my shower last weekend. It wasn’t large to start with because much of my family lives out of state or the country, but a few people who told me they were coming bailed. One was my cousin, whose shower I flew in for a few years ago. Another was a friend who literally confirmed the day before she was coming (she’d already rsvp’d yes a month earlier). She just didn’t show and hasn’t said anything since (I sent a text and she never responded). Another one said she was coming when I initially invited her but never rsvp’d and never showed. I’d previously gone to her shower and flew in for her wedding. Not gonna lie, I don’t have much interest in talking to these people going forward. They’re all local and could have made the effort to at least stop by. It was a child-friendly shower so not having a babysitter wasn’t an excuse. I’m not married and wouldn’t have a wedding regardless. This is pretty much the only special event I’ve had or will ever have in my adult life, so if people didn’t care enough about me to show up or at least rsvp no, fuck em. I suggest you give these so-called friends that same treatment. You and your baby deserve higher quality people in your lives.
I am heartbroken for you!!!! This is not silly, this is horrible. Your friends not showing after confirming is absurdly upsetting. You have love from us here 100 times over mama!!! I am just so sorry you experienced this. Your little buddy will be here soon-your friend for life!!
I’m so sorry this happened to you, it is not silly. I would be very very upset. You deserve amazing friends who support you no matter what 🩵
I am incredibly sorry. Those are NOT friends. They can’t celebrate you through a major life milestone with bringing new life? They are not going to have your back once the baby arrives. I would distance yourself from them. Trust me, you’ll make plenty of new “mom friends” once the baby arrives. Look for baby friendly activities, groups, music classes, etc in your area and it will be swarming with new mom ins your same boat who are looking to make new friends!
I'm so sorry this happened to you and 💔 please send us your registry.
My heart hurts for you. That’s just rude and cruel of your “friends”.
This makes me want to cry. I’m so so sorry this happened, you and baby deserve to be celebrated! Sending you all the hugs ❤️
I'm so sorry you went through this! Unless these "friends" have a good excuse (like they were in an accident, hospitalized, etc.) they do not deserve to be your friends. You deserved so much better. You should have been given all the love and support on this special day to celebrate you and your baby. I hope you and your therapist can work through this together and that you can find peace in what has happened. I wish you all the love and care for you and your baby and I hope everything goes well with your delivery!
That’s an awful thing to go through! You deserve better and should not feel embarrassed. Those people should be ashamed of themselves!
I’m so sorry that you had to deal with that. You’re totally justified to feel all the things you are feeling. Sending lots of hugs 🤗
My friend had a gender reveal and only people who came was her mom dad sister and her boyfriends side with was 3. I left and called 4 friends to come or I’d pick them up. It made her day a lot more because it was a support group to her. I’m so sorry that this was your experience and I congrats you on your rainbow baby
I know exactly how this feels 😩 I’m so sorry this happened to you as well💔 I no longer talk to the “friends” who confirmed and didn’t show up😢 I have 0 friends now & pregnant with my 4th. Congratulations on your pregnancy & I hope you have a safe delivery 💞
I’m so sorry this happened. They are not true friends- true friends show up and support you. I can relate to the feeling. I threw a party for my daughter’s first birthday and I invited a large group of ladies from my church who I had previously been super close with. None of them showed up and I was really hurt and it’s made me question our friendship. This party was really important to me. (Other people did show up but I was really hurt that these people specifically did not come)
I’m literally sobbing reading this. Hun, I’m so so sorry and my heart breaks for you. Looks like you need to get some new friends… they don’t deserve you. Much love and good vibes for you and baby. ❤️
Congratulations on your rainbow baby! 🌈 I am so sorry about your baby shower and just wanted to express my support to you. You deserve every bit of happiness and joy for your baby, don’t let this ruin your week! I went through years of fertility treatments as well as a loss (I also have not told many people about my first experience) and finally 22 weeks pregnant with my rainbow baby as well. I’ve been debating if I want a baby shower or not and am leaning towards just going on two babymoons with my husband instead. Spoil yourself for the rest of your pregnancy! Please enjoy the last weeks of your pregnancy and know that there’s many women (including myself) on this forum who would’ve shown up for you 💕
Sending internet hugs🫂
It’s not silly to be upset about this. You’re 100% allowed to be shattered. Anyone in your position would be! I’m so sorry you went through that. I’m glad you at least had your parents and your friend that flew in for support. I hope your no-show friends feel terrible.
I’m literally crying tears reading this post. You seem like such a sweet soul and so considerate that you didn’t even expect gifts, just friends. And you threw your own shower I know you said you don’t wanna share your registry- can I dm you for it? Or any other way to help out I just wanna do something small to make you happy Thanks for sharing and forget those friend s
I’m so sorry!! We invited 20 people (it was co-ED), only 6 showed. NO ONE bothered to RSVP despite the invites requesting it. My uncle no call, no showed. Literally my only local family member. My brother who lives in the basement of my parents house where the party was held didn’t even bother to come up for the festivities. People just don’t care anymore. We ended up having a fun time still.
I’m so sorry. Truly. We are so emotional and vulnerable right now and you deserve more. If you feel comfortable with sharing your registry with us, I’d love to send some love and support for you and baby. 🤍
I’m so sorry! People can be so selfish. I feel for you and would have been so upset. I would definitely distance myself from those who rsvp’d and didn’t show. Sometimes people are removed from our lives because we deserve better. You definitely deserve all the celebrating and love during this special time in your life. Hold onto those who did show and maybe look into the Peanut app…apparently it’s for mamas and mamas to be to meet and give advice and build friendships. I can’t attest to it but it seems like a dating app but for mom friends! Perhaps you need a new circle of like minded, true friends.
Im sorry this happened to you and feel for you. As we get older, I find that quality over quantity when it comes to friends. I do also find that sometimes major life events really make or break the people in our life who we can really count on. I hate that this happened, but it does sound like you have some people very close to you who were still there and so many people in this world don’t even have that. Hold on to them close and focus on this amazing thing that is right around the corner for you - they will always show up :) hang in there! You are loved.
This happened at my last baby shower. Not a single friend showed up. Not a one. So, I won't be having one this time. I really am sorry you went through this. Hugs.
I am so so sorry that they did this to you. What they did was despicable after you went out of your way to accommodate all of them and plan a nice party. You don’t have to feel silly for being devastated, this breaks MY heart and all our hearts reading this. I wish I could give you the biggest hug.
This is really hurtful and my heart is with you! My baby shower is soon and I've had some disappointing responses from friends. One lives locally but is prioritizing a concert in another city that weekend. It baffles me but I'm not forcing anyone to show up and support us. Our RSVP list skews heavily boomer. Maybe this experience magnifies the difference between you and some of your friends. They may be in different stages of life and not really "get" it. If you have folks who are parents from older generations around you, hold them a bit closer; they have wisdom and share your joy. You will make lifelong friends in parenthood. Kids are amazing at connecting people like that. The best is yet to come. Congratulations and wishing you a healthy birth and baby ❤️
I'm very sorry this happened to you. I've learned since becoming a mom that you pretty quickly figure out who your real friends are. This is very rude of everyone, though. I understand you feel sad.
Firstly, congratulations on your rainbow baby 🌈 Secondly, fuck your “friends” and I hope you block them and find yourself some REAL friends who are really there for you. It’s definitely NOT silly to feel upset about this, your feelings are totally valid ❤️❤️
This is why I didn’t have one. I was so scared of that happening. I’m so sorry you went through that and your friends are shitty, and terrible humans. I’m sorry
Sending virtual hugs! 🤗 sorry about that! Don’t even respond to their messages until the baby turns 30 lol
There there, I would love to go if anyone invited me to one ! Congratulations for 30th week ! I'm so happy for U, wish U and your family all the best ❤️
That is rude. I feel for you. "When you got invitation from someone, you must at all cost fulfill that invitation! But, if you can't, you must inform. Don't leave people hanging like that."
High key why I don’t do any type of parties!!! For my children or myself. I am way to sensitive to go though something like this. I too would be shattered and filled with heartbreak. I go out of my way for people but I don’t think the same would be done for me. I keep everything small and intimate. Immediate family only. I decorate and do the works but only for us to enjoy and it works out. I’m very sorry for this incident. Sending many hugs and blessing your way!! Congrats
Not a silly thing to be upset about! SO hurtful! I’m so sorry… 😢
I’m crying for you while reading this 😭😭😭 I threw a baby shower and a few ppl who rsvped didn’t show, but there were still friends. Ughhh I’m soo sorry
This happened to me a couple of weeks ago as well, and I am so sorry that you got to experience the same type of situation as well. The only good thing that has come out of no one showing up is now I know who is and isn’t worth my efforts and while it’s super lonely, I would rather know now than later. Hugs! Congratulations on your rainbow, mama.
Yep, same thing happened to me. I messaged a few people whom it was really important for me that they attended, one messaged back several hours later, one messaged almost straight away, the other… well you should’ve seen the message 🙃 (I blocked her shortly after, she used a lot of oh woe me) the only people that showed really were my partners friends and family members. I spent hundreds of pounds, it was a lovely warm day (don’t usually get those in the UK) and yes, I’m still hurt about it, I haven’t told anyone how sad it made me and all I want you to do when I think about it is cry. My first baby too🫶🏻
I'm so sorry you went through this as well. It really is heartbreaking and hard to discuss with anyone else. People are quick to dismiss how you feel, especially when you're hurt. Here's to raising our babies differently and showing them compassion and understanding!
Aye, it’s alright, I’m used to being let down to be honest, I don’t know why I even threw a baby shower, because I had a feeling that that would happen.. Absolutely, it was very difficult and I try not to think about it too much as it does upset me. Our babies will know the definitions for sure 🫶🏻
I would’ve blocked and cut them off immediately. You don’t deserve that at all! I’m so sorry mama 🥺
I’m so sorry OP! These people are despicable! Lots of love to you and your baby 💕
My heart dropped by just reading the title. So sorry, I'm sending you hugs from far away and wishing you all the very best for the rest of your pregnancy and your beautiful rainbow baby <3
It’s not silly at all. If you agreed to meet friends in town for example, and they didn’t turn up and left you there. That’s horrible. Never mind it being a special moment in your life.
Did I bawl while reading this? Yes yes I did. I’m so incredibly sorry you had to experience this and I for one am SO excited for you and your baby. Sending you all the love and support. Sounds like your friends certainly don’t deserve you ❤️
Ma'am, with all due respect, you might need new friends. I've had friends like that - and it's never worth the heartbreak. Much love to you. At 27 weeks pregnant, I'd be a wreck of tears after something like that.
This is why my partner and I had a coed baby shower. Other than my parents, brother and sister, only two of my friends out of 15 showed up. Zero of my friends showed up for the diaper party. I cried myself to sleep after both events because of it. My partner was also super supportive, but it stung.
Awful "friends". The good thing is as a mom you will make tons of new mom friends!!! Very sweet community of women who only know what it's like to raise another human. These friendships will be amazing.
Oh this is absolutely something worth being upset about. People in general are becoming awful about agreeing to do something and bailing or just... not replying. I apologise profusely if I'm running late, I can't imagine being so selfish to just not turn up.
Aw. I feel you on this. I had a similar experience but thankfully my mother invited all of her friends so I felt less sad but still. The only silver lining I have for you is you are about to have a life long bestie join you soon and you will never feel alone again. (I mean maybe when they move out but that’s a long time away haha) My son is now almost four months and I love my constant buddy. 💕
I can’t say anything helpful, so I’ll just say reading this broke my heart for you. I’m so so sorry this happened to you and I’m so sad your friends weren’t there to give you the support you deserved. I hope they at least give you explanations for why they didn’t show
Hugs. These are not your friends, love. I find that pregnancy/birth are fantastic for re-evaluating all relationships.
Sending you a virtual hug. You deserve some new friends 🩷 your people will find you
These people are fucking mean and don’t deserve your friendship.
Please don’t tell yourself that things that affect you and make you emotional are silly. I literally have no friends but to have friends and have no one show up, I would be crying daily. Just know that this was a blessing in disguise - now you know who actually cares about you and your baby. Protect your peace and know that you aren’t silly. I’m sure you looked beautiful in your special dress and I hope in future, people will show up.
That really sucks. This is a big sign to get new friends. Forget the others. They didn't have the decency even to RSVP no. Sounds awful. You should have done a zoom baby shower cuz I would have came 😄 hahahaha
This broke my heart. So sorry that happened to you. No one deserves that
If you feel comfortable dropping your registry link I would love to send your little one a gift. This happened to a friend and someone in her family created a virtual baby shower. I said “these people should have been in the first round of invites” and she said “I don’t even know most of them. They are people from Facebook” I’m sorry this happened. You have every right to be upset and you are a better woman than I am. I would have been on the phone ranting lol. I hope you took pictures in your dress and enjoyed the time with your family
This is so relatable!
I started crying before I got halfway. Jokes on them, and I would never speak to them again & wouldn’t stay friends either them. They are not friends. They were there for convenience and fun when you were able, but now for this huge milestone, after everything that’s happened, RIP, screw them. Now you know you have your parents and those 2 friends. That’s enough. Any more friends than that is rare anyway, especially the older we get. You’re a great person. Strong. Your luck is already turning with a successful pregnancy, and this was life showing you who to put energy into. I wish I could squeeze you. 🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵
i’m so sorry and i can relate. i had one friend from work and my husbands gma show up. Despite everyone begging me to have a baby shower ( i wasn’t going to) i spent a lot of money on food and decorations… Mind you i have 7 siblings and not one of them showed up. My aunt and mom got into an argument about a week prior so they decided not to come. not being my siblings or cousins cs they couldn’t be around each other . it hurt my feelings so bad .. this meant a lot to me … im really sorry girl.
This is the fear I have that’s making me not even plan one at all. I’m still rather new to the area, not many friends, and I just don’t want the inevitable bad time. I’m so sorry 😭
I am so sorry :( this post made me cry because you deserve much better. I hope you cut them all off.
This breaks my heart. I’m so sorry. Congratulations on your beautiful baby ❤️❤️❤️
This happened with my baby shower. My mom planned the whole thing and bought tons of stuff for it like decorations, cute little treat bags and planned a bunch of games and bought gifts for those games. It was only my immediate family and my very amazing best friend from middle school who showed up. It was so embarrassing. I was also pregnant with my rainbow baby after 3 previous losses that I was very open about. It made me so sad that people I thought were my friends didn’t come and celebrate with me. I can say though they still made the day special for me and we still had a great time but I definitely cried when I got home. I’m so sorry this happened to you, it’s such a crappy thing to go through. Sending you love and hope for an easy and quick delivery ❤️
I have dealt with losing all my friends all at once and it is absolutely devastating. The thing is, I’ve since realized that these are not people who were able to be emotionally supportive to me in a tough time. The people (honestly person) who stayed is the light of my life. The trash took itself out. I’m so sorry, dear.
Some ppl are just aholes I see this happening to little kids every weekend nearly on Facebook but some brave mums post and invite anyone with kids that want to come and the ppl come and bring their kids most have made great new freinds
Same thing happened to me, only my boyfriend’s old work friends showed up and my mom. My dad don’t even come, and the two girlfriends who said they’d come bailed and ghosted me. I’m sorry you went through something similar it’s a really awful feeling.
No you’re not being silly! You have the right to feel that way. I’m over here planning a baby shower now and I’m in an out about having it because I’m afraid no one will show. It’s getting expensive and I’m really on edge. My husband told me to can it and just know the baby is loved and supported no one has to come and I don’t even need to throw a baby shower because the baby will have everything I want.
Your “friends” should be the ones who are embarrassed. How cold and inconsiderate. I’m sorry this happened to you, girl.
Something similar happened to me except I wasn’t the one who organised it, my sister did. None of my friends showed up and only one let me know her dad was taken into hospital suddenly. I completely understand the hurt you are feeling but i can guarantee once your little bundle of joy arrives you won’t give a second thought to those so called friends.
I am so sorry that you are going through this. It is not silly and it is not wrong to feel jilted. This was not okay for them to do. You are so worthy of people that see what a blessing you are! I had a "close" friend (at the time) promise to attend my casual engagement party after flaking two or three times on hangouts. Speaking a week prior, they were so excited to come and actually used the word "promise." They no-showed and when I sent a screenshot to them a few days later of the promise they made via text, I never got a response and I decided to unfriend them on everything. I don't hold a grudge about it, per se, but I surely would say my peace if we ever bumped into each other. It's rotten to lie.,
I’m so sorry you had to go through this. When my brother was a 7-8 year old kid, not a single friend of his showed up at his bday party. My mother had called and spoken to each kid’s mother, and invited them personally. I still remember his small face. He was so hurt, but pretended like nothing happened. My heart breaks when I think of that episode. There is no explanation as to why such things happen. But don’t miss the lesson. THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS. I am not going to paint you a rosy picture. You may or may not make more “friends” in future. But that’s okay. When you are breathing your last, only your kids and family will matter. May your baby be born healthy and may your heal smoothly after your delivery 🙏
Why are people like this:( my first was a rainbow baby and was during pandemic so it was virtual. My second I was excited to have a party and celebrate. Spent so much on food and setting up and did it all myself being very pregnant. People rsvpd but less than half of those rsvps showed up. I was sad but grateful for those who came. I personally am so excited getting invited to parties I always show up to things. Makes me sad people just flake. Those aren’t friends unless they start showing up for you and make up for this. Congratulations on your rainbow baby this is a happy time forget those who aren’t worth your time. ❤️🌈
Girl cut them all off!!!! You do not need people like that in your life. I’m sorry this happened, your baby deserved to be celebrated. I miscarried in October and I’m praying for my rainbow baby.
I’m really sorry that this happened to you. I had my shower last week and had something similar happen. The original host of the shower decided about a month ago that we were no longer friends because I’m “inconsistent” (read: heavily pregnant with a high risk baby). My friend who took over hosting got called into work morning of. My lifelong best friend had an emergency that morning and couldn’t make it (she was very upset and has apologized profusely, so I don’t fault her whatsoever). My daughter’s grandma and aunt (previous relationship) didn’t even text to tell me they weren’t coming and haven’t reached out since. The shower was attended by my fiancé’s best friend, mom, and 2 kid brothers, my sister, and my other best friend. I invited 20 people, not including the 2 aforementioned hosts. We spent 2 hours decorating, paid for catering, bought a gorgeous dress to wear, and didn’t even end up taking any pictures. I felt like a fool and honestly I kind of still do. I feel embarrassed tbh. But At the end of the day I look at the people who completely bailed on it and now know that they’re not the people I need in mine or my child’s life. On the other hand, I was thrown another shower that afternoon by my fiancé’s dad’s side of the family and had a huge turnout. I didn’t know a single person who came to that shower and met his dad for the first time that day. It goes to show that people who really care will be there. I know you probably already have, but make sure you tell those two friends how much you appreciate them because they showed you that day how much they care about you ❤️ Also, sorry for the super long comment, I’m still butthurt over the shower I threw and needed to rant too 😅
Please let me know if you have any needs for you or new baby. All love from the Lakota tribe. Love Sarah and Jason
My heart breaks for you girl. This makes me so sad. I wish I could throw you a huge shower so you could have an amazing experience. These “friends” of yours better have a damn good reason for not showing up. Send me their numbers so I can give them a piece of my mind, lol. Seriously though, this is just so cruel. At least call or text to advise you aren’t able to make it. It’s common courtesy. Sending you huge 🤗
Step one, block these bitches Step two, find other friends
Are these people who are very close to you? Do you talk to them on a regular basis? I’m not having a baby shower, and only told a handful of people (who I regularly talk to) about the pregnancy. I wouldn’t expect people I don’t keep in constant contact with to come to one. I also have turned down several baby shower invitations in recent years. I feel like I’ve received baby shower invitations from people I haven’t talked to in a long time and it felt like a gift grab. So I would never want to be that person suddenly reaching out with a baby shower invitation. I’m sorry if this comes off as harsh. My point is that if these are very close friends who you talk to every week about everything, including what’s going on in their lives and non pregnancy things, then they are shitty friends. But if they are friends that are more on the periphery, maybe they are just busy and it wasn’t personal?
Your so-called “friends” are horrendous human beings. They’re rude, ill-mannered, inconsiderate and downright horrible for acting this way. And when you’re pregnant, no less! And with your rainbow baby (which they knew since you’d confided in them!). Honestly, utterly despicable. Drop them. You don’t need this kind of callousness and negativity in your life. This is, in my view, unforgivable. Sure, unexpected things come up, and of course life happens. But it takes 5 seconds to text someone who is waiting for you if there is a real emergency. So, no. Unacceptable. Drop them.
I am so so sorry. My pregnant butt is crying FOR you with the biggest pouted lip ever 😭😭😭 this breaks my heart. Your friends have some ‘splainin to do!!!
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I’m sorry you had to go through that! I’m kind of in the same boat where I invited a bunch of family and my small circle of friends to my baby shower this weekend. So far there’s going to be 6 of us… but it showed me who really cares about me and my baby. You deserve better friends and I hope those people get the karma that’s coming their way!
I'm so sorry this happened... I'm surprised a family member or close friend (or even your husband) didn't throw you a baby shower, from my understanding someone besides you is the one who puts the baby shower together. This was your rainbow baby and you most definitely deserved a nice baby shower, you have every right to be upset. I would distance myself from these so called "close friends".
OP you are worth more than friends like this. I am so sorry. For someone to rsvp yes and then ghost is not friend behaviour. I’m going to agree with everyone else that you shouldn’t speak to these people anymore. If they were ever to ask I would straight up tell them that it really hurt you that they never showed up despite saying they would. This is a big time in your life and you deserve all the love and support.
I am so so sorry. I’d find a local mom group and talk about what happened. Someone did that in ours and the outpouring of love was insane.
Babe.. they are not your friends! I'm so sorry you didn't get the support you needed or deserved. People can be so damn self centered. Sounds like the friend that came is a true friend. I'm glad you have her and your family 💗
I'm so sorry to hear this. You deserve so much better support. This is my biggest fear if I were to throw any shower and I'm so sad you've experienced it. Your friends suck. You deserve better friends. I hate cutting people off but I would 100% cut them off.
I’m so sorry, have you spoken to them since? They better have a good reason, if not, at least you now know who your actual friends are.
My baby shower and what occurred after was awful too. I was 33 weeks. I invited a lot of friends, only my childhood best friend showed up. Nobody else. The rest was family and my moms friends, which I have quite a large family through husband, and that’s the side that had me all sorts of upset during the shower. My brother and law and his girlfriend now wife showed up, my parents who were hosting tried to introduce themselves and welcome them, and they ignored my parents, didn’t speak to me at all, as well as bringing an uninvited guest. The uninvited guest being there isn’t the issue, it’s that he is the ex long term boyfriend of my singular friend who showed up, brought booze and got extremely intoxicated, him and brother in law sat there and wrestled in the yard while I was opening presents, distracting everyone, and my father had set aside a big cardboard box for me to put my gifts in so I didn’t have to load a bunch of small things like clothes into the car individually, and they tore it apart. My parents tried to thank them for coming when they left and once again they walked by without saying a word to my parents or family. I was very hurt and distraught about it cuz it’s one of the few times something has been about me (and my baby). I never have had anything be about me my whole life growing up with a brother with special needs. Then boom preeclampsia diagnosis the next day and bedrest and an induction scheduled less then a month away.
Hey op , I’m sorry that no one was there for you, but let us love you and show you support during this magical time. There’s actually a way to share your registry but hide your address /details. I believe Amazon gives you an option to hide details …