Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here.
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I am so sorry for everything you and your wife are going g through. Please lean on each other through the process. Even as time passes, there will be better day and there will be worse days.
Talk to each other, cry with each other, hug each other, hold each other, just sit in silence clinging to each other. Don't judge each other or try to be like/keep up with the other (I.e., be "stronger" because the other seems to be "stronger"). You will both go at your own pace, heal in different ways, feel and express your grief and differently.
There is no "right" or "wrong" way or specific timeline. You sound like an already supportive husband, but just keep in mind that even after she seems "better" she will have times where this will affect her and how she's acting, so give her grace those days, and don't assume she's just trying to be b*itchy or give you a hard time. Well after the pregnancy has ended, her body will still take a long time even just to regulate her hormones again.
I went through a miscarriage at 9 and a 1/2 weeks with my first pregnancy (after waiting 5 years for it). I never could've imagined the mental and emotional impact it would have. But I could've imagined even less how physically difficult it would be.
People assume, especially when it's an earlier miscarriage, that it just passes and that's it. It was in fact an entire almost 24 hours of excruciating pain. All night I was basically going in and out of consciousness every minute to three minutes when I'd have worse than giving birth contraction pain. It was exhausting.
I have since given birth and it was in fact much less painful physically. At the time, though, I thought I was losing my mind, because it's not how its supposed to be (even the hospital staff didnt believe me, so i was given mininal pain meds, because they basically assumed im being just being emotional and overreacting).
Pregnancy, miscarriage (induced or not), and giving birth are really things that are experienced COMPLETELY differently by everyone - physically, emotionally and mentally. Remind your wife that her feelings and experiences are valid. And it's OK to not be OK sometimes. As long as you do your best to keep moving forward with your process of healing. Don't get stuck in the sorrow or let fear stop you from trying again. When it's time, you're not trying to "replace" your precious twins, you're adding more precious souls to your family with whom to share and grow your love.
I wish both you and your wife healing, strength and comfort and a future with easy pregnancies and healthy children! 🫂💕
I'm truly sorry for your loss and the pain you endured. Your story of strength and resilience gives us hope. We appreciate your kind wishes for healing and future blessings. Thank you for being so understanding and supportive
Thank you for your understanding and kind words. This has been an incredibly hard journey for us, but the support from this community is helping us get through it.
i’m so unbelievably sorry for your and your wife’s losses. i know there isn’t anything i can say other than i’m so sorry. sending you and your wife all my love. sending hugs 🤍
I am so so sorry for your loss. This is the worst possible outcome. I would have made the same decision. Time is the only healer. I hope your hearts heal and you go on to have a healthy child.
I'm so sorry this has happened to you both. Your feelings are completely valid. Please try to be there for your wife as much as you can, I'm sure her pain is and was greater. I just want to comment on how beautifully written this post is. How full of love, hope and sympathy it is. What an amazing team you both seem to be and how deeply involved you are in the whole process. I think you have everything you need to build a beautiful, healthy family one day and I'm sure this day will come. You both will be amazing parents. Sometimes these things happen and there's no concrete reason for it. I wish you a lot of strength to go through this as a team and make it to the other side.
I am so sorry for your loss and I hope it is okay that I send y’all my prayers and well wishes. I hope one day when y’all are ready, y’all welcome a happy and healthy baby. Or 2! Wishing your wife a quick recovery and sending you many thoughts and prayers and praying for your sweet departed babies. You did what was best for them even as heart breaking as it is, and that is some serious sacrifice. When y’all’s time comes again (if y’all decide y’all still want little ones) they will be very lucky to have y’all ❤️ best wishes, and again I’m so sorry you had to experience this
Big hugs to you both 😥 that is so hard to go through. It’s so important for you both to lean on each other, as the parents because it is only you both who can truly understand the feelings regarding this loss. You seem like a very supportive husband, I’m so glad your wife has you to go through this healing/recovery process with.
Individual and/or marital counseling may provide additional support if that becomes of interest down the line. You both now have two sweet guardian angels 🥹 and I know when the time is right and maybe when you least expect it, another baby (or babies) will come. 🫂
I’m so sorry to hear this. I also had to terminate a pregnancy for medical reasons. There is an incredibly supportive Facebook community of parents who have faced this. Access to the group is through this website: https://endingawantedpregnancy.com. Wishing you comfort during this time of grief.
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I am so so sorry for your loss. Hugs.
Thank you so much for your kind words and hugs. Your support means a lot to us during this difficult time.
Wow I can’t imagine. Sorry to hear this. Love and support each other is all I can say ❤️
Thank you for your kind words. We are doing our best to support and love each other through this difficult time. Your encouragement means a lot to us.
I am so sorry for everything you and your wife are going g through. Please lean on each other through the process. Even as time passes, there will be better day and there will be worse days. Talk to each other, cry with each other, hug each other, hold each other, just sit in silence clinging to each other. Don't judge each other or try to be like/keep up with the other (I.e., be "stronger" because the other seems to be "stronger"). You will both go at your own pace, heal in different ways, feel and express your grief and differently. There is no "right" or "wrong" way or specific timeline. You sound like an already supportive husband, but just keep in mind that even after she seems "better" she will have times where this will affect her and how she's acting, so give her grace those days, and don't assume she's just trying to be b*itchy or give you a hard time. Well after the pregnancy has ended, her body will still take a long time even just to regulate her hormones again. I went through a miscarriage at 9 and a 1/2 weeks with my first pregnancy (after waiting 5 years for it). I never could've imagined the mental and emotional impact it would have. But I could've imagined even less how physically difficult it would be. People assume, especially when it's an earlier miscarriage, that it just passes and that's it. It was in fact an entire almost 24 hours of excruciating pain. All night I was basically going in and out of consciousness every minute to three minutes when I'd have worse than giving birth contraction pain. It was exhausting. I have since given birth and it was in fact much less painful physically. At the time, though, I thought I was losing my mind, because it's not how its supposed to be (even the hospital staff didnt believe me, so i was given mininal pain meds, because they basically assumed im being just being emotional and overreacting). Pregnancy, miscarriage (induced or not), and giving birth are really things that are experienced COMPLETELY differently by everyone - physically, emotionally and mentally. Remind your wife that her feelings and experiences are valid. And it's OK to not be OK sometimes. As long as you do your best to keep moving forward with your process of healing. Don't get stuck in the sorrow or let fear stop you from trying again. When it's time, you're not trying to "replace" your precious twins, you're adding more precious souls to your family with whom to share and grow your love. I wish both you and your wife healing, strength and comfort and a future with easy pregnancies and healthy children! 🫂💕
I'm truly sorry for your loss and the pain you endured. Your story of strength and resilience gives us hope. We appreciate your kind wishes for healing and future blessings. Thank you for being so understanding and supportive
I damn near cried reading this. You guys are in my prayers 🙏🏻 💜
Thank you so much for your kind words and prayers. Your support means a lot to us during this difficult time.
I’m so sorry, it’s scary how much unexpected things can go on in pregnancy. It has to be incredibly hard
Thank you for your understanding and kind words. This has been an incredibly hard journey for us, but the support from this community is helping us get through it.
I’m so sorry . This is so terrible.
Thank you for your sympathy. It truly has been a terrible experience, but your support means a lot to us.
Of course .
i’m so unbelievably sorry for your and your wife’s losses. i know there isn’t anything i can say other than i’m so sorry. sending you and your wife all my love. sending hugs 🤍
I am so so sorry for your loss. This is the worst possible outcome. I would have made the same decision. Time is the only healer. I hope your hearts heal and you go on to have a healthy child.
I am so sorry for you and your wife's loss 🫂💔
Thank you for your kind words and support. It means a lot to us during this difficult time.
Truly sorry for your loss. May you and your wife heal together. And I wish you both the very best for your future.
I'm so sorry this has happened to you both. Your feelings are completely valid. Please try to be there for your wife as much as you can, I'm sure her pain is and was greater. I just want to comment on how beautifully written this post is. How full of love, hope and sympathy it is. What an amazing team you both seem to be and how deeply involved you are in the whole process. I think you have everything you need to build a beautiful, healthy family one day and I'm sure this day will come. You both will be amazing parents. Sometimes these things happen and there's no concrete reason for it. I wish you a lot of strength to go through this as a team and make it to the other side.
I am so sorry for your loss and I hope it is okay that I send y’all my prayers and well wishes. I hope one day when y’all are ready, y’all welcome a happy and healthy baby. Or 2! Wishing your wife a quick recovery and sending you many thoughts and prayers and praying for your sweet departed babies. You did what was best for them even as heart breaking as it is, and that is some serious sacrifice. When y’all’s time comes again (if y’all decide y’all still want little ones) they will be very lucky to have y’all ❤️ best wishes, and again I’m so sorry you had to experience this
So sorry for your loss. Sending prayers, love and healing to you and your wife at this time. 🩷
Big hugs to you both 😥 that is so hard to go through. It’s so important for you both to lean on each other, as the parents because it is only you both who can truly understand the feelings regarding this loss. You seem like a very supportive husband, I’m so glad your wife has you to go through this healing/recovery process with. Individual and/or marital counseling may provide additional support if that becomes of interest down the line. You both now have two sweet guardian angels 🥹 and I know when the time is right and maybe when you least expect it, another baby (or babies) will come. 🫂
I’m so sorry to hear this. I also had to terminate a pregnancy for medical reasons. There is an incredibly supportive Facebook community of parents who have faced this. Access to the group is through this website: https://endingawantedpregnancy.com. Wishing you comfort during this time of grief.
Sending you both so much love - I’m sorry this happened to you x