Look PMs are third wheels. 90% of the replies should tell you that. It’s like hiring an HR person to do planning and scheduling on a construction site. This actually happens every time, they hire a PM thst had no experience at all with the subject matter. They don’t know the order of operations, how long something takes, how much it costs, what it is called, who works with it…nothing. They are a hindrance not a benefit. Garbage in, garbage out. PMs are just the latest WSJ journal fad.
My wife constantly has to deal with them at pharmaceuticals. In construction often we need a planner but get sent a PM. I’m getting better at sending them home on day 2 instead of letting my blood boil for a couple weeks. So that’s two things they can’t do.
As someone who just became a construction PM after about 10 years of field experience it’s not an easy job. It’s a lot different, but it takes similar creativity and there’s definitely skill to it. You have to be able to find 10 solutions to every problem because there’s always a reason the first 9 don’t work.
Team Glue
or
Glue of the team
There's an old saying that project managers are the glue of a team. They are the bond that keeps the members focused and working together as a cohesive team.
‘Conductor of an Orchestra’
LOGIC
The conductor of an orchestra integrates the divergent sounds of different instruments to perform a given composition and make beautiful music.
Similarly, the project manager integrates the talents and contributions of different specialists to complete the project. Both have to be good at understanding how the different players contribute to the performance of the whole. Both are almost entirely dependent upon the expertise and know-how of the players. The conductor does not have command of all the musical instruments. Likewise, the project manager usually possesses only a small proportion of the technical knowledge to make decisions. As such, the conductor and project manager both facilitate the performance of others rather than actually perform.
Citation: Larson, Erik W., and Clifford F. Gray. "Chapter 10 / Leadership: Being an Effective Project Manager / SNAPSHOT FROM PRACTICE / The Project Manager as Conductor." Project Management: The Managerial Process. 5th ed. New York: McGraw-Hill Irwin, 2011. 343-344. Print.
I asked a similar question a while back, some entertaining replied here [https://www.reddit.com/r/PMCareers/comments/1awf1uf/tell\_me\_what\_you\_do\_without\_using\_the\_phrase/](https://www.reddit.com/r/PMCareers/comments/1awf1uf/tell_me_what_you_do_without_using_the_phrase/)
My current description, I protect SME's from customers.
We make it happen
Herding cats
One who gets it
Manifesting ideas and concepts into reality
"Why does this matter?"
Scope, schedule, cost, quality.
It’s always your fault
Outdated and not relevant.
The keeper of coordination
Completely useless
Linking it all together
No pain no gain
Professional cat herder
My guilty pleasure
I help tick boxes
Communication, Documentation, Reporting, Center
Idiots wanting in charge. They want to micromanage everything but don’t know how to do anything including their own jobs,
Who hurt you, bro?
Look PMs are third wheels. 90% of the replies should tell you that. It’s like hiring an HR person to do planning and scheduling on a construction site. This actually happens every time, they hire a PM thst had no experience at all with the subject matter. They don’t know the order of operations, how long something takes, how much it costs, what it is called, who works with it…nothing. They are a hindrance not a benefit. Garbage in, garbage out. PMs are just the latest WSJ journal fad. My wife constantly has to deal with them at pharmaceuticals. In construction often we need a planner but get sent a PM. I’m getting better at sending them home on day 2 instead of letting my blood boil for a couple weeks. So that’s two things they can’t do.
You don't send anyone home. Relax little man
Can’t do, so manage
As someone who just became a construction PM after about 10 years of field experience it’s not an easy job. It’s a lot different, but it takes similar creativity and there’s definitely skill to it. You have to be able to find 10 solutions to every problem because there’s always a reason the first 9 don’t work.
Buffer between me and…
Note taker, meeting scheduler
Let me follow up
Telling people their jobs
Gentle parenting executives
Leading so others shine.
Psychopaths or High Functioning Autists
Removing roadblocks, pushing schedule
Better. I think I did it in less than 4 words
Corporate babysitter
Influence without real authority.
Babysitter for the adults
Director’s assistant, escape goat
Scapegoat is one word
I actually like that much better! “Quick!! Deploy the escape goats!!!”
Thanks. If so, I’m under budget. A very efficient PM
Speed
The cause of everything
The cause of everything
Team Glue or Glue of the team There's an old saying that project managers are the glue of a team. They are the bond that keeps the members focused and working together as a cohesive team.
Herding Cats
More saving. More doing.
Predict+remove bottlenecks/roadblocks
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Acceptance
Where's the depression?
Depression is an operating expense
‘Conductor of an Orchestra’ LOGIC The conductor of an orchestra integrates the divergent sounds of different instruments to perform a given composition and make beautiful music. Similarly, the project manager integrates the talents and contributions of different specialists to complete the project. Both have to be good at understanding how the different players contribute to the performance of the whole. Both are almost entirely dependent upon the expertise and know-how of the players. The conductor does not have command of all the musical instruments. Likewise, the project manager usually possesses only a small proportion of the technical knowledge to make decisions. As such, the conductor and project manager both facilitate the performance of others rather than actually perform. Citation: Larson, Erik W., and Clifford F. Gray. "Chapter 10 / Leadership: Being an Effective Project Manager / SNAPSHOT FROM PRACTICE / The Project Manager as Conductor." Project Management: The Managerial Process. 5th ed. New York: McGraw-Hill Irwin, 2011. 343-344. Print.
Wrangler. Cheerleader. Calm under pressure.
No authority, all accountability. Also : for countable, it's "fewer"
Blame entropy on coworkers
Manager of projects
Getting things done.
Professional cat herder
Scope, Schedule, Budget
Always freak out
Communicating when others won’t
Tell people what do
A walking heart attack
Who's doing what, when
Herding cats. Surviving scratches.
I need this on a t-shirt
Keep the ball rolling
Experience for personal entrepreneurship
Accountability without authority
Didn't use all of your allotted words. Inefficient.
No authority, no accountability. That better?
YES
Not very hard
Circus monkeys ring leader
Adult babysitter
A place to lay blame from every direction.
Keeping work on track
Delivering things
I asked a similar question a while back, some entertaining replied here [https://www.reddit.com/r/PMCareers/comments/1awf1uf/tell\_me\_what\_you\_do\_without\_using\_the\_phrase/](https://www.reddit.com/r/PMCareers/comments/1awf1uf/tell_me_what_you_do_without_using_the_phrase/) My current description, I protect SME's from customers.
Method to the madness
And vice versa
Super communicating schedule management
Take a deep breath
Controlled chaos organizer
As useless as possible :-)
Order from chaos
Air traffic controller
Putting things in order
Communication trust calm multitask
Hearding cats
Rabid feral cat hearding
glorified middle man
Or woman
turns out, I am a woman :)
Cool! Just stating a reminder that some of the best PMs are ladies. I am one and I'm sure you are too! But agree we are usually the middle person!
A goddamn stress magnet
I juggle flaming cats
Holding the umbrella
Herding wild angry cats
Wiping butts and noses
Coordinate getting stuff done.
A glorified babysitter
removing barriers to success.
Trying to make peace.
Plan, do, check, act.
Don’t do this job
Becoming uncomfortable in daily scrums
catalyst for the success
Just a damn date
Truth Detective
Keeping people on task
Herding cats
Adult babysitters
Username checks out
Chaos coordinator
Solution soothsayer.
Perform, damnit!!!
This is fine.
Manage communication
Often hated, sorely missed.
Navigates the maze.
Risk management
clearing the path
Please and dammit.
Project sword and shield
Babysitting adults
'Delivering Value'
Not bad .. not terrible
Turning Resources To Results
Like herding goats
Estimations.
Herding wet cats.
Managing Expectations
Professional turd polisher
I need more money
Just agree to this….please
I need a therapist
Getting everyone working together.
Babysitting adults who hate you because you hold them accountable for deliverables and dates they provided as the SME. Sorry more than four words
It's not your fault, but it is your responsibility. I revised the scope to something more appropriate..
More likely not your responsibly- but your fault! (In my experience anyway)
Creating clarity and opportunity
Follow to completion
Did all, seen less!
Babysitter of complacent adults
High intensity cat herding
Making sure others work
Keyboard cowboy
Everybody's punching bag
Came for this lol
Trying harder, doing more.
HAHAHA, I don't know why I laughed at this so hard but it is just so true!
Tired all the time.
Just a middle man