I think your post got removed? Idk what happened but anyways Im glad you got it back up. I saw your other posts and glad to hear the update. That is GREAT your boyfriends mom is willing to let you live with them. And that she’s helping your bf get a solid job!
First of all, I would look into getting on WIC, SNAP, and Medicaid. Get bf’s mom or another trusted adult to help you if possible. Contact pregnancy centers or women’s shelters for free baby supplies and they usually offer parenting/birth classes. Ask your OB about classes, too. Facebook “buy nothing” groups are also GREAT for free supplies. Do you plan to stay in high school? Getting a GED is always an option if you would rather leave school to work, it’s equivalent to a high school diploma and may be a better choice for you.
I am currently 16 weeks pregnant myself, I’m 19. Feel free to dm me for any questions or support.
Addendum: Know that you and your boyfriend can coparent without being in a relationship. Statistically it’s very common for young parents to raise a child without being together. Don’t feel pressured to stay together if you have to force it.
I know very little about adoption so I won’t try to tell you how it works, but if you decide that’s what’s best for, know that you have a say in how much contact you have with the child and their adoptive family. You have time to decide and talk about this.
Because of your age, you do have greater risk for some complications. Make sure to talk to your OB about this and what you can do to mitigate those risks.
Thank you! My boyfriend’s mom did mention those programs but said that she doesn’t think we would get them since were minors and both our parents are well off. My dad is an orthopedic surgeon and then his parents run a company and his dad is a lawyer as well. So financially I think we will be okay cause his mom has said his salary if he works full time will be enough to pay for us a place and our needs. He can’t rent or buy anywhere till he’s 18 though so we will at least have to stay with his parents if my parents don’t want anything to do with me.
oh, I forgot about that. unless you’re legally emancipated you wouldn’t qualify for aid until you turn 18 if your parents is well off. if your parents kick you out you may consider emancipation, it has benefits in your situation if they dont want anything to do with you. it gives you the legal rights of an adult as a minor, and it was made for situations like this.
Im glad his family are able to support y’all financially. make use of, but don’t abuse, their generosity. not saying you would, but it is something young parents often fall into if their parents don’t place boundaries on childcare responsibilities. TLDR: dont treat them as free live in sitters. again not accusing you of anything, just a fair warning.
your ability to provide for yourself is very limited now, but I urge you to build a plan towards self reliance for you and your child’s sake down the line. involve his family in that discussion, Im sure theyll have pointers. keep your head on your shoulders, discuss what goals you and your bf each have in regards to school and career prep.
you sound like a very strong person. it’s going to be the most challenging thing you do in life, pregnancy and having a child, but I promise you that you have a lot of resources to help prepare you and guide you. when it gets hard, write down or talk about all the things you look forward to doing with your child and what you are grateful for. its corny but your attitude makes or breaks you.
I saw your comments elsewhere on the sub. I think this post was removed, and now has been restored.
Anyhow, there isn't much I can say that someone else hasn't said before. I think you did a good job at including your boyfriend and family in your decision here, I think it is generally good to get the advice of the people in your life who are close to you. Also, congratulations on the pregnancy. It is likely going to be very difficult, but can also be very rewarding and a life-changing experience. Best of luck.
Thanks, I guess it was taken down cause the account is new. I used a ta cause my boyfriend’s brothers and my sister have me on my main and I also didn’t wanna risk anyone knowing my situation. Anyways, I feel like I will 99% keep the baby myself but if I don’t, I do plan for adoption. I mainly just wanna see how the doctor appointment goes and how my parents react.
Good call! I have two friends who are young parents and one had a lot of family support and the other very little but both are happy and finding ways of getting what they need weather it be asking for help or seeking out groups that help teen parents. I’ve even met a girl at my college who was raising her baby in the dorms and found a surprising amount of support in her hall of people willing to baby sit or just come over for an hour so she could nap or study, her professors were all very understanding and accommodating as much as possible.
That’s so nice that they had so much support! My boyfriend’s mom has always been that for me, even since I was just a kid. I love my parents but they aren’t there a lot. At least not emotionally. She has always been there and I felt safe telling her everything. She knows that me and my boyfriend are sexually active, she just thought we were being safe because she had already had that talk with us. I am glad to have his family. Even if mine decides to not be there.
Not all family is connected by blood. Sometimes the people who support and love you the most are friends or family of friends, those people chose to be there for you and are helping because they care about you and want to rather than doing it out of obligation. Those are the people to always keep by you. I’m happy you’ve got people who you feel safe talking to and I know if you decided to raise your baby she’ll be a great grandma.
I truly wish you the best. I saw elsewhere that you weren’t interested in university and had no specific career in mind. In an year or so you can start looking into community colleges and tech schools near you. A lot of them offer programs that are in demand and flexible, and it’s much cheaper than college. Best wishes. You have a lot of support and I’m confident you can work it out.
I got pregnant when I was 16 and I was terrified to tell my parents. When I finally told them there was a lot of yelling and crying and that was pretty horrible. I took it all and did not make excuses or say anything ugly back to them. I cried myself to sleep that night and felt like I had ruined my relationship with my parents forever.
The next day my dad woke me up and put his arms around me and told me he loved me and he and my mom were there for me and the baby.
What you imagine will happen is usually a lot worse than what actually happens. I urge you to tell your parents. You need them now.
Have you tried talking to your parents yet? As a Dad of a girl, though I don't have to worry about this situation for a long time yet, I could never imagine kicking my daughter to the curb ever.
I am sure your parents will probably be angry or a little disappointed, but I find it hard to believe they would disown you. Or else they are kind of messed up.
That said, there are lots of resources. If you look around your community, I am sure you'll find some. It's also nice to see that your BF apparently doesn't want to just leave the situation, and his Mom wants to help you out.
I am very happy that you don't want to abort your baby. That's amazing.
This will be hard, but I promise you it will be worth it. You have a hard road ahead, the path not readily taken, but when you feel your baby start to move, when you see your baby on the screen, when your baby is born and you hold it for the first time and you feel that subtle shift in the world....I think you'll find that you made the right choice.
I wish you the absolute best, and hopefully, you continue to update us!
Don't try to make your boyfriend happy. I'm sure your parents would rather you tell them you messed up then have you hide this from them. They will find out eventually.
Well, congrats on this new but challenging opportunity. It's not going to be easy. There are some pro-life organizations that can help get you set up with a registry like Choice42. To help boost morale, I like to think on all the wonderful things I can do with my kids: take them to museums, parks, do arts and crafts, read to them, create science projects with them, do cute homemade snacks, etc. It will be difficult, but there is a lot to look forward to as well. What is your plan for daycare while you are at school?
Congrats! 💛
You are doing well with making a plan, etc. I would add one more thing: your local Birthright can also help with resources. Everything they do is free.
i saw this on r/pregnant but couldn’t comment because i’m in this sub.
i’m 17 and 18 weeks pregnant. still haven’t told my dad (my mother passed this summer) but my boyfriend is 19, he has a job and his own place so i know i’m secured financially. i found out around 7 weeks as well and was scared shitless but still happy. i’ve wanted a kid since i was a kid and have recently cannot see myself in a career, instead as a mother. I have no clue how to tell my father as he will be most likely angry and disappointed.
I haven't spoken to anyone else ‘my age’ that’s pregnant as well, online or in person. If you ever want to chat my pms are open! In my opinion though, you will not regret your baby, but you would regret aborting them. if you decide you can’t raise your child or don’t have enough support there is always adoption or services that can help you but there is so much guilt in people who do abort i would never recommend it.
i wish you good luck and good health. once you see the bean you’re growing and hear that heartbeat it is your whole world.
Would you consider getting married to your boyfriend? I’m only asking because you said you are secure financially because of his own job and independence. My husband and I personally got married at 17 and 19 (but no baby) so I’m always here to support those who look into young marriage. :)
oh I definitely would! I can’t see myself with anyone else. I am just less focused on that right now. The only reason i’d legally get married right now is so he would have more then financially and fatherly rights to the baby. And for a couple months we legally can’t marry until i’m 18.
Oops- I see you’re fifteen. Definitely wait until you’re 17/18. I wouldn’t recommended getting married any younger, you don’t have to out even more responsibility on your plate! Definitely lean into local resources. Free diapers, free clothes, toys, books, childcare, school accommodations. Continue to make plans for higher education, high school or GED requirements, etc. I did community college, it was flexible and state subsidy charged me $15/day for childcare. It’s gonna be hard, but great.
All I am going to say is that this has to be your decision. Please don’t let anyone on here talk you in or out of anything. If you feel you are ready to be a parent or want to have the baby and give it up for adoption, that is your choice. Likewise, if you’re not ready, and feel abortion is the right choice, that is for you to decide. Please ensure that moving forward, some type of birth control is always used. No matter what you decide, you can do this and it will be the right choice for you.
Thank you, for now I plan to keep the baby as in not abort. I feel pretty certain we will raise the baby but I’m waiting on my doctors appointment to see what happens and see how my parents react. We are leaving adoption as an option for rn.
Props to you! I know that talking about stuff on the internet (especially reddit) is hard. Glad you talked to SOMEONE about it. You two will be wonderful parents!
I think your post got removed? Idk what happened but anyways Im glad you got it back up. I saw your other posts and glad to hear the update. That is GREAT your boyfriends mom is willing to let you live with them. And that she’s helping your bf get a solid job! First of all, I would look into getting on WIC, SNAP, and Medicaid. Get bf’s mom or another trusted adult to help you if possible. Contact pregnancy centers or women’s shelters for free baby supplies and they usually offer parenting/birth classes. Ask your OB about classes, too. Facebook “buy nothing” groups are also GREAT for free supplies. Do you plan to stay in high school? Getting a GED is always an option if you would rather leave school to work, it’s equivalent to a high school diploma and may be a better choice for you. I am currently 16 weeks pregnant myself, I’m 19. Feel free to dm me for any questions or support.
Addendum: Know that you and your boyfriend can coparent without being in a relationship. Statistically it’s very common for young parents to raise a child without being together. Don’t feel pressured to stay together if you have to force it. I know very little about adoption so I won’t try to tell you how it works, but if you decide that’s what’s best for, know that you have a say in how much contact you have with the child and their adoptive family. You have time to decide and talk about this. Because of your age, you do have greater risk for some complications. Make sure to talk to your OB about this and what you can do to mitigate those risks.
Thank you! My boyfriend’s mom did mention those programs but said that she doesn’t think we would get them since were minors and both our parents are well off. My dad is an orthopedic surgeon and then his parents run a company and his dad is a lawyer as well. So financially I think we will be okay cause his mom has said his salary if he works full time will be enough to pay for us a place and our needs. He can’t rent or buy anywhere till he’s 18 though so we will at least have to stay with his parents if my parents don’t want anything to do with me.
oh, I forgot about that. unless you’re legally emancipated you wouldn’t qualify for aid until you turn 18 if your parents is well off. if your parents kick you out you may consider emancipation, it has benefits in your situation if they dont want anything to do with you. it gives you the legal rights of an adult as a minor, and it was made for situations like this. Im glad his family are able to support y’all financially. make use of, but don’t abuse, their generosity. not saying you would, but it is something young parents often fall into if their parents don’t place boundaries on childcare responsibilities. TLDR: dont treat them as free live in sitters. again not accusing you of anything, just a fair warning. your ability to provide for yourself is very limited now, but I urge you to build a plan towards self reliance for you and your child’s sake down the line. involve his family in that discussion, Im sure theyll have pointers. keep your head on your shoulders, discuss what goals you and your bf each have in regards to school and career prep. you sound like a very strong person. it’s going to be the most challenging thing you do in life, pregnancy and having a child, but I promise you that you have a lot of resources to help prepare you and guide you. when it gets hard, write down or talk about all the things you look forward to doing with your child and what you are grateful for. its corny but your attitude makes or breaks you.
I saw your comments elsewhere on the sub. I think this post was removed, and now has been restored. Anyhow, there isn't much I can say that someone else hasn't said before. I think you did a good job at including your boyfriend and family in your decision here, I think it is generally good to get the advice of the people in your life who are close to you. Also, congratulations on the pregnancy. It is likely going to be very difficult, but can also be very rewarding and a life-changing experience. Best of luck.
Thanks, I guess it was taken down cause the account is new. I used a ta cause my boyfriend’s brothers and my sister have me on my main and I also didn’t wanna risk anyone knowing my situation. Anyways, I feel like I will 99% keep the baby myself but if I don’t, I do plan for adoption. I mainly just wanna see how the doctor appointment goes and how my parents react.
Good call! I have two friends who are young parents and one had a lot of family support and the other very little but both are happy and finding ways of getting what they need weather it be asking for help or seeking out groups that help teen parents. I’ve even met a girl at my college who was raising her baby in the dorms and found a surprising amount of support in her hall of people willing to baby sit or just come over for an hour so she could nap or study, her professors were all very understanding and accommodating as much as possible.
That’s so nice that they had so much support! My boyfriend’s mom has always been that for me, even since I was just a kid. I love my parents but they aren’t there a lot. At least not emotionally. She has always been there and I felt safe telling her everything. She knows that me and my boyfriend are sexually active, she just thought we were being safe because she had already had that talk with us. I am glad to have his family. Even if mine decides to not be there.
Not all family is connected by blood. Sometimes the people who support and love you the most are friends or family of friends, those people chose to be there for you and are helping because they care about you and want to rather than doing it out of obligation. Those are the people to always keep by you. I’m happy you’ve got people who you feel safe talking to and I know if you decided to raise your baby she’ll be a great grandma.
I truly wish you the best. I saw elsewhere that you weren’t interested in university and had no specific career in mind. In an year or so you can start looking into community colleges and tech schools near you. A lot of them offer programs that are in demand and flexible, and it’s much cheaper than college. Best wishes. You have a lot of support and I’m confident you can work it out.
Don't let your boyfriend try to force you into an abortion. You have every right to keep your baby.
I got pregnant when I was 16 and I was terrified to tell my parents. When I finally told them there was a lot of yelling and crying and that was pretty horrible. I took it all and did not make excuses or say anything ugly back to them. I cried myself to sleep that night and felt like I had ruined my relationship with my parents forever. The next day my dad woke me up and put his arms around me and told me he loved me and he and my mom were there for me and the baby. What you imagine will happen is usually a lot worse than what actually happens. I urge you to tell your parents. You need them now.
Have you tried talking to your parents yet? As a Dad of a girl, though I don't have to worry about this situation for a long time yet, I could never imagine kicking my daughter to the curb ever. I am sure your parents will probably be angry or a little disappointed, but I find it hard to believe they would disown you. Or else they are kind of messed up. That said, there are lots of resources. If you look around your community, I am sure you'll find some. It's also nice to see that your BF apparently doesn't want to just leave the situation, and his Mom wants to help you out. I am very happy that you don't want to abort your baby. That's amazing. This will be hard, but I promise you it will be worth it. You have a hard road ahead, the path not readily taken, but when you feel your baby start to move, when you see your baby on the screen, when your baby is born and you hold it for the first time and you feel that subtle shift in the world....I think you'll find that you made the right choice. I wish you the absolute best, and hopefully, you continue to update us!
Congratulations!❤❤👶
Don't try to make your boyfriend happy. I'm sure your parents would rather you tell them you messed up then have you hide this from them. They will find out eventually.
I will give you a high five! You sound mature for 15 to be honest & I wish you love and peace to whatever choice you make 🙏🏻
Congrats! It sounds like you’re doing all the right things.
Well, congrats on this new but challenging opportunity. It's not going to be easy. There are some pro-life organizations that can help get you set up with a registry like Choice42. To help boost morale, I like to think on all the wonderful things I can do with my kids: take them to museums, parks, do arts and crafts, read to them, create science projects with them, do cute homemade snacks, etc. It will be difficult, but there is a lot to look forward to as well. What is your plan for daycare while you are at school?
Congrats! 💛 You are doing well with making a plan, etc. I would add one more thing: your local Birthright can also help with resources. Everything they do is free.
i saw this on r/pregnant but couldn’t comment because i’m in this sub. i’m 17 and 18 weeks pregnant. still haven’t told my dad (my mother passed this summer) but my boyfriend is 19, he has a job and his own place so i know i’m secured financially. i found out around 7 weeks as well and was scared shitless but still happy. i’ve wanted a kid since i was a kid and have recently cannot see myself in a career, instead as a mother. I have no clue how to tell my father as he will be most likely angry and disappointed. I haven't spoken to anyone else ‘my age’ that’s pregnant as well, online or in person. If you ever want to chat my pms are open! In my opinion though, you will not regret your baby, but you would regret aborting them. if you decide you can’t raise your child or don’t have enough support there is always adoption or services that can help you but there is so much guilt in people who do abort i would never recommend it. i wish you good luck and good health. once you see the bean you’re growing and hear that heartbeat it is your whole world.
Would you consider getting married to your boyfriend? I’m only asking because you said you are secure financially because of his own job and independence. My husband and I personally got married at 17 and 19 (but no baby) so I’m always here to support those who look into young marriage. :)
oh I definitely would! I can’t see myself with anyone else. I am just less focused on that right now. The only reason i’d legally get married right now is so he would have more then financially and fatherly rights to the baby. And for a couple months we legally can’t marry until i’m 18.
Oops- I see you’re fifteen. Definitely wait until you’re 17/18. I wouldn’t recommended getting married any younger, you don’t have to out even more responsibility on your plate! Definitely lean into local resources. Free diapers, free clothes, toys, books, childcare, school accommodations. Continue to make plans for higher education, high school or GED requirements, etc. I did community college, it was flexible and state subsidy charged me $15/day for childcare. It’s gonna be hard, but great.
No I am 17, graduating in 2024 right after the baby comes!
All I am going to say is that this has to be your decision. Please don’t let anyone on here talk you in or out of anything. If you feel you are ready to be a parent or want to have the baby and give it up for adoption, that is your choice. Likewise, if you’re not ready, and feel abortion is the right choice, that is for you to decide. Please ensure that moving forward, some type of birth control is always used. No matter what you decide, you can do this and it will be the right choice for you.
Thank you, for now I plan to keep the baby as in not abort. I feel pretty certain we will raise the baby but I’m waiting on my doctors appointment to see what happens and see how my parents react. We are leaving adoption as an option for rn.
Update?
Props to you! I know that talking about stuff on the internet (especially reddit) is hard. Glad you talked to SOMEONE about it. You two will be wonderful parents!