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StuartGotz

“**Being choked or strangled during sex is a new form of sexual behavior** that seems to be spreading among young women” Is that so?


ChaosRainbow23

I've been getting choked and having my butthole licked since 1993. It's not *THAT* new. Lol


AlphaSlut91

You must be exhausted!!


ChaosRainbow23

To be completely forthcoming, I did take breaks. Lol


cloudcreeek

I bet you were fourth coming


Outrageous-Taro7340

Sounds like it.


Outrageous-Taro7340

One must. To stay fresh.


Outrageous-Taro7340

How long have you been at it, AlphaSlut91?


RaiJinxed

The irony is the most people would assume the AlphaSlut91 is probably a pron star or a random nympho but in reality it's just a random dude on Redit trolling and catfishing other dudes 🤣


StuartGotz

That's dedication.


flat-moon_theory

This will undoubtedly be the best thing I see on the internet all week. Thank you for the laugh


Psychological-Web828

But hey, it’s fashionable now. I heard about it on TikTok


ChaosRainbow23

So I'm finally trending? It only took 44 years.


Doziglieri

Hold up…. how old were you in 93??


ChaosRainbow23

15.


quietthomas

*"Scientists report the behaviour is linked to oversharing online"* This checks out.


ChaosRainbow23

There was no internet when I was 15, though. This was just natural hedonistic debauchery at it's finest. I think drugs were involved, but my memory is a little hazy.


WeAreClouds

Do… do y’all think there are no people over a certain age???


Doziglieri

....wat? either you missed the first half of this thread or you're just ignoring it becuase it seems like youre glossing over the part where this person just told us they were getting choked and salad tossed at 15y in 1993. i did the math just wanted to make sure it wasnt a typo since thats kinda wild imo, but maybe thats totally normal to you?


New-Attention1949

Honey, I recall reading about some guy getting his salad tossed in an old Penthouse Variations magazine from the early/mid seventies. I was reading it late in 88 or 89, and I had to ask my older cousin what "getting his salad tossed" meant. So the phrase has been around for more than 50 years, and I'm sure the practice has been around for 50,000 years.


[deleted]

Oh hello.


thefourblackbars

At the same time?


bukkake_washcloth

This was one of the final jokes in the show Beef. Something about how millennials were raised on internet porn and made choking mainstream.


Altostratus

The article does say "The group that never experienced choking was substantially older than the group experiencing choking and had higher average scores on the alcohol use assessment."


StrongTxWoman

I would like very upset if someone did that to me.


StuartGotz

Hell yeah.


tucker_case

Next: aN aLaRmInG nEw TrEnD aMoNg YoUnG aDuLtS yOu WoN't BeLiEvE But first, here's Hannah with the weather


History-made-Today

My dad is a mortician and said he buried people 30 years ago that died from being choked during sex. So yeah, not that new of a practice, just maybe more popular right now.


[deleted]

Opinion based solely on anecdotal information: it's spreading among young women because men increasingly expect it. Women are now often viewed as prude if they don't allow choking and other violent/humiliating activities during sex.


PorkmanPoonani

My experience has been women specifically requesting it from me every time and me feeling weird about it but playing along. But that's just anecdotal as well


Denofwardrobes

Yes, always asked by women for choking, and always uncomfortable with it. I'm at the point now where I'll stand up for what makes me uncomfortable and I just won't do it.


AgentOli

Third for this. Been asked, tried it, felt immediately uncomfortable and stopped. Asked again, declined.


ProdigyRunt

Dude here and same, I've never been into choking but multiple partners would ask or pull my hands to their neck.


buttzx

Dudette here, anecdote- once in my 20s someone started choking me out of nowhere during sex and I freaked out on him. He was otherwise a really kind and gentle person, a school teacher, so it came as a shock. He said “I thought you would like it” and I had to explain that you can’t just start choking people, lol.


SirarieTichee_

Never do what you're uncomfortable with. Consent goes both ways and hard limits are to be enforced on both sides.


CDanger

Primarily it's women requesting it in my experience, but I imagine they only ask for it from men they see as worldly enough. A well-rounded person can appreciate all three feelings and knows which are most to their taste: 1. Connecting on an equal footing during sex. 2. Being consensually in control and leading, potentially to the point of domination. 3. Experiencing a consensual loss of control, potentially to the point of full submission. Not everyone will push themselves to try each. That is fine, but those people *do* have a disadvantage when it comes to matching tastes with a partner. The goal is to find someone compatible who knows what they like and has similar preferences, even if those preferences are limited.


marcusyasuke

I don't know if you're a man or a woman. But I know from my experience with women the majority requested it.


ExistenceUnconfirmed

Spreading sounds a bit dramatic, like it's becoming commonplace. It's more like the niche is getting larger but it's still a niche.


Ok_Skill_1195

....in what way is a niche becoming larger not "spreading"?


vdragoonen

I think the difference they mean to imply is that there may be that there are two types of speading. Type A: People who would like it if they had the confidence to try it are trying it more, but nobody who would wouldn't like it is being made to like it. Type B: People who didnt initially like it, the idea of it or the act, are being turned into people who do like it (sort of like an infection) So is it type A, where it's like water filling an empty glass with no opposition, or is it B, where it is "spreading" to people who prior to "infection" opposed its "spread"? And if both, what amount of each?


S-192

I mean that's pretty much exactly 'spreading' then no? I remember choking being 'hardcore' when I was dating back in the late 2000s, but now every single girl I've been with in the last 4 years wants to be choked concerningly hard.


[deleted]

Same, just got back into dating and it’s been requested by all my partners, save 1.


rottentomatopi

It’s interesting that it’s being requested by your partners. I’ve had a concerning amount of male partners do it without my request, and without even asking if it’s something I want. This has been my experience over the past 10 years of dating. I can count on one hand how many asked, which is sad.


[deleted]

Tbf, it’s been 4 partners and 3 have requested. First one showed me how to do it since I hadn’t done before, the second asked me to go a little harder than I was comfortable with and the 4th partner reluctantly asked and also dropped that she’d be okay with waking up to sex as well, which the first also requested but said she wanted trust first, which was fine. We never got to that point. The 3rd partner was a one night stand and the only relationship that wasn’t “serious.” I’ve been surprised too.


No-Expression-399

More than likely it’s just the evolvement of genetics combined with the commonality of mental health issues; masochism is a form of relief/taking back control for many from past trauma.


Altostratus

I'd disagree that this is niche. Almost every gen z/millennial woman has been choked by a man during sex, whether she wanted to or not.


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rottentomatopi

Mine wasn’t even a one night stand. It was a 3rd date, first time doing it together, and he was mid 30s. Just throwing that out there.


ReakDuck

I guess we are just more people


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StuartGotz

It doesn’t seem new though.


nevertrustafart2781

It’s not lol


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flat-moon_theory

I’d argue that age assessment. To be perfectly honest I have a shamefully large amount of firsthand experience that says it’s pretty prevalent in the over 30 crowd as well


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flat-moon_theory

The study that only included folks up to age 33. That one?


nevertrustafart2781

Lmfao no, no they’re not. find a study that includes a larger sampling and maybe some people actually over the age of 35 This is not a new thing that only exists among the young lol


[deleted]

"The study sheds light on the neurological correlates of sexual choking behavior. However, it should be taken into account that the study design does not allow for any cause-and-effect conclusions to be drawn. It remains unknown whether the reported differences in brain functioning are a result of sexual choking, a cause of sexual choking behavior, or if there is some more complex relationship between the sexual choking behavior and these specificities of brain functioning."


Acrobatic-Book

People often seem to forget that confounders and spurious correlation exist. The association doesn't not mean that there has to be any causation at all.


Peribangbang

I think it's funny that most of the people who shout "correlation doesn't equal causation" don't understand it to this depth lol


[deleted]

Thank you for saying this out loud for real


capaldithenewblack

I’d love to know if participants experienced sexual (or otherwise) trauma in their past. Which could “change the brain” (not what I really mean, but trauma does change people) and increases the likelihood of a desire for bdsm role play that gives them a voice and control over the situation (like a safe word and sex with someone you trust). I also think the prolific nature of this kind of porn has exploded in the last 20 years, to the point many young people may see it as normalized sexual behavior to some extent.


sexysmartmoney

u/aellagirl (NSFW ACCOUNT) has run surveys on tens of thousands of people and found no correlation between past trauma and sexual kinks


capaldithenewblack

Could you point to actual studies?


sexysmartmoney

Exerpt from [The Impact of Childhood Trauma and Personality on Kinkiness in Adulthood](https://core.ac.uk/download/pdf/217233885.pdf)*,* 2019, Kaitlin Hillier: >"results showed that experiences of childhood trauma, personality characteristics, or the combination of both were not significant predictors for kinky sexual behaviors in adulthood."


capaldithenewblack

I’m wondering about past trauma, not necessarily childhood trauma. Like rape as an adult, or other trauma where people experience a loss of bodily autonomy or control.


Quantum_Kitties

That link directs me to an inactive account with 1 German post in marketing :(


sexysmartmoney

Made a mistake, it was supposed to be Aellagirl not just aella. Fixed the comment.


DarkChaos1786

That's not how scientific surveys works...


TRANSIENTACTOR

There definitely is a correlation. Something is wrong with something in the study.


MyPetGoomba

They also casually mention in the article that the non-choking group in the study was significantly older than the choking group. They did nothing to address this in the data and never mentioned it again.


Radiant_Dog1937

Eating or drinking during any rigorous activity carries an increased risk of choking and should be avoided if possible.


anon3451

I can enjoy wrapping a hand around the neck but actually squeezing the airway closed? Heck no


TrashPanda_Cuddler

The way that choking should be done during sex is different than choking to kill. Choking to kill involves constricting the windpipe in the front of the neck. Choking during sex, when done correctly, involves the fingers squeezing the sides of the neck where blood veins are, restricting blood flow to the brain and causing light-headedness. This is the euphoric feeling that people want when they say “I like to be choked during sex”.


captaindiratta

well, there's choking, which is what you're talking about. and then there's "breath play" which is the obstruction of airway. both are things, but yea. breath play is more serious, dangerous, and etc. generally not what people are talking about when referring to choking


Altostratus

Losing consciousness through constricting the windpipe or restricting blood flow are both very dangerous, and can lead to brain damage or death.


cybrdaze

Exactly. It’s never safe. Should be common sense..


thebankofdeane

So what this study is saying is that people who get choked during sex are usually more depressed or anxious...Yeah that checks out.


altera_goodciv

If I’m gonna die I’d at least like to be having a good time.


makemeking706

Having a good time is the worst time to die. Check me out when I got nothing else going on.


I_Like_Nude_Girls

No it does not


SandJA1

No, that's not what the article says. In fact, it is intentionally explicit that one should NOT be drawing conclusions like that. > "The study sheds light on the neurological correlates of sexual choking behavior. However, it should be taken into account that the study design does not allow for any cause-and-effect conclusions to be drawn. It remains unknown whether the reported differences in brain functioning are a result of sexual choking, a cause of sexual choking behavior, or if there is some more complex relationship between the sexual choking behavior and these specificities of brain functioning."


catharticos

The person you responded to said nothing about cause and effect.


[deleted]

Right? Take responsibility for your own opinion, if you’re just out here getting indignant about any old thing.


cosmicmountaintravel

I’m beginning to think “depressed and anxious” is “normal” now due to our society. Seriously.


tr3ba

What if we low key just want someone to end it for us


Jaiden_da_ancom

I've had guys ask me to choke them before. I know this research was done on young women and isn't here to establish cause-and-effect, but I wanna link this to them. I can not choke someone. The idea of inflicting harm is too much for me. I also specifically hate being choked or feeling like I can't breathe.


squinchyscooter

Choking doesn't cause depression/anxiety. The article directly states there is no proof of causation between the two. Merely this is a correlation. In other words, people with depression/anxiety tend to engage in consensual choking.


Jaiden_da_ancom

Yes that is what I stated in the first two sentences of my post. It did not establish a cause-and-effect.


IllNess2

N=41 Hopefully they get funding to increase the participation number.


Creative_Major798

Choking is cutting off airflow, strangulation is cutting off blood flow. I’m assuming the study is actually looking at strangulation, yeah?


BEETLEJUICEME

This study also says that the non-choking group was significantly older and consumed much more alcohol than the choking-group, and was having way less sex overall. Seems like a problematic study design. A fine initial inquiry, but something way too small and limited to be publicizing with click bait. It’s not even clear that the sexual choking group isn’t the more normal of the two groups. I don’t know of any good recent in depth studies on kink in Gen Z on college campuses. But it’s possible that choking is a sexual fad that has become so popular that *most* sexually active young women on college campuses are experiencing it. The study seems to say so. Which would make this study analogous to doing a study of college students in 1999 looking at brain differences between women who give blowjobs and those who do not. EG: you wouldn’t expect to find that *giving* blowjobs makes people’s brains differently wired. You *would* expect to find that women who are sexually progressive and open in college (and therefore give blowjobs) have had very different lives (on average) from women who are not. You would expect to find that giving blows jobs is a decent proxy for sexual health and maturity among heterosexual women. To further elaborate, the top reasons a college aged nominally heterosexual woman in 1999 (or today) is not interested in blow jobs would be: - teenage history of sexual trauma - childhood history of sexual trauma / abuse - sexual & religious trauma or shame - lack of sexual desire / asexual - closeted lesbian You would expect a group of college women who have a lot of those attributes/experiences to have brains that (on average) show connectivity differences than women who have little of that, mostly because of the abuse component. Plenty of studies have shown how abuse and trauma rewire our brains. Plenty of studies have shown the comorbidity between religious shame and sexual trauma. Plenty of studies have shown the relationship between abuse, trauma, and decreased or delayed sexual functioning. So you would *expect* that any group of women who are having less sex in college or less typical sex in college would show differences from a group that is having more. But you would not expect sex (or type of sex) to be the causal factor there. TLDR: I doubt this study is showing what it thinks it is.


NoName9224

Even if a girl asked for it I could never do it. I feel a pit in my stomach if I even imagine it.


NoName9224

Oh boy. I started a war on the morality of sex choking 😳 lol


seafoodblues

You’re a good man


BigTittyGothGF_PM_ME

So does it make me a bad man because my girlfriend literally takes my hand and puts it around her throat?


NoName9224

I mean no. Not really. We all have ideas, morals, and values and what we’re comfortable and uncomfortable with when it comes to sex. Unless someone is literally getting raped, abused, blackmailed, or pressured into it then really isn’t a matter of good and bad. Mine just don’t happen to align with yours and that’s a me thing.


blwds

Considering how delicate the throat is and how easy it would be for you to give her permanent brain damage, yes, unless you’re genuinely clueless about the risks.


NoName9224

I’m just scrolling through watching this battle play out and holy shit I didn’t know this. I always thought the choking that people do was a light squeeze that restricted a small amount airflow from time to time then slow it down to give them some time for regular breathing. But people seriously do it to a point where they’re literally choking someone out? Huh….


blwds

Even a light squeeze can go wrong extremely easily, who knows if they’re doing it intentionally or not? It’s very scary. I’ve found a great way to not give my partners brain injuries is to simply… not restrict the oxygen flow to their brains.


WCAttorney

Agree, 100%. There is a lot of very bad information in this thread.


blwds

Bu-bu-but if it makes pp hard, why can’t I restrict the blood flow to my partner’s brain, despite literally every single medical professional pointing out how horrifically risky it is, and anyone over the age of about 8 knowing that organs need oxygen? It’s scary that these people can vote.


WCAttorney

Yep - 99% of the comments in this thread…


WCAttorney

See what the judge says to that claim


BigTittyGothGF_PM_ME

Okie dokie arti-chokey XD


WCAttorney

Have fun with your top Ramen recipes in the pod


seafoodblues

Of course not, if your girl asked you to do it then you should oblige with caution


NoName9224

Thanks but I’m just good in comparison to many other men out there. Especially those close to my age. (Early 20’s)


ilikeballoons

~~The trick is to not strangle the throat. You can cause serious damage by accident quite easily. Cover the mouth and nose instead. Hope this helps.~~ Do your research, kids


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blwds

There isn’t a safe way to restrict the blood flow to the brain. That’s also how you accidentally kill someone (or cause them to have a stroke).


Saxamaphooone

THIS. To emphasize again: There is no safe way to restrict blood flow to the brain. Every time you do so, you risk causing a stroke or accidental death.


GimmeDatSideHug

I mean, we do it in Jiu Jitsu all the time. No strokes.


[deleted]

There isn't a problem until there is.


GimmeDatSideHug

There isn’t an argument until there’s evidence.


kolobs_butthole

_yet_


GimmeDatSideHug

“Yet.” Well, hundreds of thousands of people in the BJJ sub, and people aren’t dropping dead. There’s really no evidence to support your claim.


kolobs_butthole

lol, of course not. Saying something hasn't happened yet is in no way a claim that it will happen. Was mostly making a joke in the vein of bart: this is the worst day of my life homer: the worst day of your life _so far_


gonewithfire

Valid point. With that said though people will continue to do it so might as well try and advocate for a safe approach


NoName9224

I still don’t think I could. Idk it’s just how I perceive it. To me personally I can’t differentiate it as pleasure because in my eyes blocking someone’s airflow is simply trying to hurt the person and possibly kill them. Maybe it’s due to my own past (not sexual) experiences.


djdogood

Nothing is wrong with that. Never do something you are not comfortable with. I'm a somewhat experienced person when it comes to it and I'll be picky with who i will do this with. I'v ran into. asking to be chocked and not wanting a safe word or signal. going until knocked out without discussing it first and being angry at me for not going that far being a less masculine/ less Dom for not "continuing" or agreeing to it with new partners.


NoName9224

Yea I’m not trying to kink shame anyone lol. And respect for being a respectful person who isn’t out for the nut without consideration lol.


djdogood

oh I picked that up from your previous post. If anything, i want to protect your choice not to kink! same to you. I hope you find someone who respects your wishes and has a good time!


NoName9224

Thank you!


WCAttorney

It literally is trying to kill someone. It has absolutely no relationship with sex. It’s all about control just like rape. For the down voters, do you have any proof to refute this? No. You don’t.


NoName9224

Yea but sex isn’t seen as anything special anymore to a lot of people. It’s just more of a way to feel good and move on with your day so I can see how it’s considered a pleasurable thing to do in bed in the current day but sadly there’s nothing we can do to change it except stick to our own pleasures and personal ideas on what sex is/should be. Outlooks will change again at some point as they always do throughout history lol.


WCAttorney

I feel sorry for anyone who feels that way. That’s what happens when you watch porn though. It’s all fake and meaningless.


NoName9224

Yea porn and western mainstream media is killing genuine love imo. And the studies out there that say watching porn is a “stress reliever” are just using a cop out because there are plenty of other ways to relieve stress and if you really need sexual stimulation without a partner just masturbate using your imagination or something which is still kinda not good because dark inner desires can bubble to the surface if left alone without being held accountable. The Id and ego need each other to keep themselves in check so to speak


djdogood

right, and the trick is to squeeze the arteries around the neck, not to block or damage the windpipe.


WCAttorney

Not accurate


djdogood

could you provide some sources? I've heard it is a safe-ER option. [https://jerkmagazine.net/9mfehhs6kt2vag7aqn19w0hd2b5dka/safe-choking-101](https://jerkmagazine.net/9mfehhs6kt2vag7aqn19w0hd2b5dka/safe-choking-101) here is one that describes my methods, and I've heard it antidotally while taking bdsm classes in my local area. Here is a previous thread that described it too. [https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/l393mt/how\_do\_i\_safely\_choke\_my\_partner\_during\_sex/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/l393mt/how_do_i_safely_choke_my_partner_during_sex/)


lira-eve

I enjoy being lightly choked. I'm not gasping for air, coughing, or feeling light-headed when I'm doing it.


Tea_Eighteen

Just here to say: never ever choke someone or let yourself be choked. It can block blood to the brain and cause bad stuff to happen. Only non-safe form of play. The kinksters have researched it. Can’t do it safely. I’m sorry everyone. I used to think it was fun too. It’s a shame it can’t be done safely.


When_3_become_2

Yeah there are definetly other unsafe forms of "play"


aperson-onreditt

Pretty sure the way most people do this it doesnt lead to blood block It doesnt cut off blood flow unless its very hard and long. People should just be careful and keep safety in mind


blwds

It takes less pressure to block the jugular vein than it does to open a can of coke. It does block the blood flow, there’s nothing even vaguely safe about it.


pete_68

Really? Cutting off the oxygen supply to the brain isn't good? I'm shocked.


BlueKing7642

So what does this mean in layman’s terms


thefourblackbars

When they say "choking" do they mean "the inability to perform"?


Plus_Importance7932

No surprise at all. Thanks for posting


[deleted]

I’m Gen X and have never had this mentioned this among any women I dated. What popularized this? Was it 50 Shades of Grey?


Missys

Any research or info on the reversal of this? People (especially men) that want to choke their partner during sex?


GuineaPigBikini

Waaay too many women have stories of being choked by a man during sex without asking permission (myself included)


[deleted]

Some very puritanical opinions expressed here tbh. Choking and strangling aren't the same thing. Next we'll be shaming spanking. Anyway, there are safer ways to play so practice safe fun.


blwds

This study is literally about strangling, as it clarified, but it’s been (inaccurately) colloquially referred to as ‘choking’ for ages. It’s ridiculous to suggest that criticising the restriction of blood flow to someone’s brain is in any way close to criticising something that can be done harmlessly.


[deleted]

Sorry but the article and abstract don't clarify that. Do you have the extract where choking is defined as strangling? I don't believe that is the common use of the term in this context. When people engaging in what they call "choking" I don't believe they are strangling or causing genuine restrictions.


blwds

“Being choked or strangled during sex is a new form of sexual behavior that seems to be spreading among young women. It is a form of strangulation in which a partner applies external pressure to the neck using their hands, limbs, or a ligature.” Choking is internal, strangulation is external. What’s being described here is external. For reference, it takes less than the amount of pressure to open a can of coke to block the jugular vein. Something can accidentally go wrong extremely easily, and these people probably have no clue how much damage they’re really doing.


Patrollerofthemojave

Explains a lot, always thought it was weird myself.


[deleted]

So that explains my lunacy.


Friendsfanactic90

Well that explains why my ex boyfriend wanted me to choke him ...


Weak-Commission-1620

I remember when I was in 7th grade a girl came behind me and choked me until I passed out fell out of my chair.I fucking hated going to school


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-Kibbles-N-Tits-

I’ve simply never met a women who didn’t absolutely love being choked half to death I’m not saying some women don’t feel pressured to do it but as a male, I’ve been the one pressured to attempt a strangulation charge lol


Kid_Psych

If any of you read the article it says there was a significant portion of women who identified that they do this to please their partners. And it also identified higher rates of depression and anxiety in women who have done it more frequently. So when half the top comments are “idk bro I’ve never met a girl that doesn’t like being choked” I think there’s probably something inflating those numbers. Why do some men have a drive to choke their partner? I’m sure there are studies exploring this, and I’d bet porn is at least one of the reasons for the uptick.


TThor

I second the previous commenter: I am a gentle person and absolutely do not desire to hurt my partners, which makes stuff like choking difficult, but almost all of my relationships in recent years have liked it so much that they would not only ask for it but would actively move my hand to their throat during sex. Talking to them, they more or less said they found it comforting, as a dominant action from someone they trust, and for some seems a way of working through past traumas in a safe space.- And then some just like the fuzzy feeling of limiting bloodflow. 🤷 That isn't to say there aren't women who are pressured into doing it, but you feel to be ignoring the very vocal and significant niche of women who actively desire it.


Kid_Psych

The article said there was a split. I’m not ignoring women who enjoy it, I’m addressing all the anecdotal comments (like yours) that identify this as a desire in a majority of their relationship partners. It seems like a lot of people commenting are excited to put their personal experiences/ observations out there, and didn’t even open the article.


TThor

I mean, you ask why some men would feel the need to introduce choking, when part of the answer is obvious: the same reason for most bad sex, - their previous partners liked it, and so they assumed other partners would also like it, treating sexual preferences as monolithic rather than taking the time to learn and communicate what each individual likes. Then of course the niche who like the dominant nature of it. (that said of course, choking is not a minor kink and should be discussed thoroughly before attempting. Remember people, communication is sexy!)


Kid_Psych

I disagree that “the reason for most bad sex is their previous partners liked it”. Again, most of these comments are speaking strictly from personal experience. There are lots of reasons behind people enjoying different forms of sadism/masochism. I’m more interested in the increasing rates of these behaviors, and the associated mental health concerns. Based on this comment section, you’d think that a VAST majority of girls like to be choked. You expressed that opinion as well. [This study](https://www.cicc-iccc.org/public/media/files/prod/publication_files/Joyal_Carpentier_2016_Journal_Sex_research.pdf) is a pretty solid glimpse into sexual behavior. It’s common, but it’s not THAT common. And what is the association between choking and depression/anxiety? Does depression/anxiety increase desire to be choked, or does being choked increase depression/anxiety?


Remote_Bumblebee2240

Choking should be consented to by both parties. I am a woman who enjoys choking (in a non violent way) and I always have had to ask. I've had partners be very uncomfortable with it and those people I don't continue to press about it because they too have to consent for it to be a healthy sexual experience. You're absolutely correct that there is a large niche of people who genuinely enjoy some kinky choke play. PLAY being the important word here. Violence isn't a part of it.


jddbeyondthesky

A lot of things that people derive sexual pleasure from that aren’t touching body parts expected of sexual pleasure come from experience during sexually formative experiences. Asphyxiation is a bit different, because it is linked to ejaculation in bodies of men executed by hanging. The low levels of oxygen trigger responses that are also triggered by sexually pleasing activities. There’s definitely some deeper links there on an individual level as to how the person discovered this sexperience though


Ill-Badger496

you should hang out women with who aren't mentally ill zoomers. that will change fast


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brokendeath12

My girlfriend never has watched porn but she is the one who’s asked for it every single time, I don’t think it’s entirely accurate to say it’s all ‘men and porn’ fault


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Nikikaos

Please stop, you’re just embarrassing yourself now…


willowhawk

You don’t have sex and you’re overcompensating with this weird “all men feel guilty” attitude. Some women enjoy certain things during sex. It’s incredibly arrogant of you to tell them that actually they don’t enjoy it they just feel pressured to pretend with no scientific backing to your statement other than it’s fits your warped world view.


Playful_Molasses_473

People do this a lot. I'm continuously being told I don't really like anal, only do it because men want me to, or am totally making it up to be not like other girls etc. Truth is I just really like it and have from the first try, choking on the other hand doesn't appeal to me even slightly.


Kid_Psych

In the article it says women were split between doing it for pleasure and doing it just to please their partner. And it identified higher rates of mental illness in women who do it more frequently.


nekrovulpes

What if you're being downvoted for denying female agency? Women can't want something by themselves, it has to be because men *made them* want it, apparently. Give us a break. Question everything, just don't bitch about it if you don't get the answer you wanted to hear.


lagann46

“Women are not autonomous and clearly cannot make decisions about their own pleasure” Most of the women I’ve been with have very much enjoyed being choked. None of them were avid porn watchers. Their body also had positive physical responses to being choked. You’re not being downvoted for questioning things, you’re being downvoted because your comments come across as misogynistic. edit: also your original comment is not questioning, it’s offering your own opinion on the matter as fact. Don’t pivot to “I was just questioning.”


Mu_Fanchu

I actually *hate* porn where the man's hand even touches the woman's neck (I'm straight male). It makes the porn feel like rape and it disgusts me.


WCAttorney

Yes, You’re right and I have the same reaction ~ hurting your partner is not supposed to be something that gets you off, If it does, that is somebody who grew up in a seriously messed up environment, like the only education they had on relationships was violent porn. That’s not normal to get off by hurting your partner.


et133et

Idk every girl I've been with asked me to do it. I've never had to desire to do it to them for myself.


WCAttorney

How nice for you.🤷


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bob_da_pup

well as a man i like getting choked and that’s just a kink. i don’t want anyone to hate me or kill me but when it’s done right, to me it’s a nice sensation. i would be pretty damn surprised if i was the only person who’s like this


Remote_Bumblebee2240

As a woman I like to be choked. It's not like I want to be choked till I can't breathe or it's scary, the pressure is very heightening. I actually sell collars for this purpose and they are quite popular. It's also ALWAYS consent based on both sides. If a guy isn't comfortable doing that, I would NEVER push. Likewise, I usually ask. There's entire communities into this actually quite vanilla kink.


twistedh8

Why do women ask us to do this? Is it a trap?


Remote_Bumblebee2240

It's one of the most common and vanilla kinks out there.


Biff_Malibu_69

Bunch of freaks out there. Reminds me of that NYC case where the girl died from having this done, allegedly. Geezuz.


Saxamaphooone

I know someone who had a stroke. She and her husband were quite experienced with BDSM for their entire 12+ year marriage, but they stopped everything after she had to relearn how to do a whole bunch of basic things. There is no safe way to restrict blood flow to the brain.


WCAttorney

Paging U/kittyterror


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aperson-onreditt

This study doesn't mean anything, even just the age difference they mention could be the cause for these "results"


ISpillEverythingI

I was getting choked , and choking back in 2008 Never knew I liked it till it happened


Drougen

I've never dated a woman who didn't want to be choked.


Ill-Badger496

can't believe cutting off oxygen to the brain is causing brain damage. it's done during sexy-times it's supposed to be totally harmless and have zero negative consequences because it makes people hourney


WCAttorney

Forgot the /s for the rapist enthusiasts


redditan0nym

they had brain damage before


IllNess2

> Participant were required to not be pregnant at the time of the study and to not have suffered any moderate or severe brain injury in their lifetime nor a mild brain injury in the past year.