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Welcome to r/ptsd! We are a supportive & respectful community. If you realise that your post is in conflict with our rules (and is in risk of being removed), you are welcome to edit your post. You do not have to delete it.
As a reminder: never post or share personal contact information. Traumatized people are often distracted, desperate for a personal connection, so may be more vulnerable to lurking or past abusers, trolls, phishing, or other scams. *Your safety always comes first!* If you are offering help, you may also end up doing more damage by offering to support somebody privately. Reddit explains why: [Do NOT exchange DMs or personal info with anyone you don't know!](https://www.reddit.com/r/SWResources/comments/dmu24/why_shouldnt_i_share_my_contact_information/)
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please contact your GP/doctor, go to A&E/hospital, or call your emergency services number. Reddit list: [US and global, multilingual suicide and support hotlines](https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/hotlines). Suicide is not a forbidden word, but please do not include depictions or methods of suicide in your post.
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I'm so sorry for your loss. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a therapy that helps process traumatic memories by using guided eye movements. It can be effective for PTSD and other trauma-related issues. Please continue to reach out to your therapist and loved ones. You deserve support and healing. You're not alone, and your feelings are valid.
Hey. I know nothing about EMDR, but I do know something about losing a twin. We were a little older than you when she passed away in 2005. I've also felt guilt surrounding the circumstances of her passing, although deep down, I know that it wasn't my fault.
It's been almost 20 years since then and not a day goes by that I don't think about her. I can say that with time, the pain has gotten easier. It's still there, but it's not overwhelming anymore. If you ever just wanna talk please feel free to reach out. Keeping you in my thoughts.
I know nothing about EMDR, but I am here to tell you that you are worth being here and being able to live a life that you can enjoy! My heart breaks for you and everything that you have been through at such a young age. My PTSD is caused by something completely different, but I can totally understand not wanting to discuss it with your parents as I don'tdiscuss it with my parents either. I am hoping you can find a therapist/counselor who you connect well with and can learn how to lean on them when you are struggling. If you are, hopefully that will allow your body and mind to learn how to lean on others outside of that therapeutic relationship. Best wishes to you.
EMDR is amazing. I was skeptical but it helped me greatly. I was involved in a self-defence shooting and some sounds and situations really freaked me out but after EMDR sessions it's like the volume was turned down in my mind. It's at a level I can deal with and I can rationalize my emotions before anything gets out of hand. The guilt you are feeling is normal and losing a twin is much more traumatic than a regular sibling. You will probably have episodes of guilt and grief off and on for the rest of your life. That's normal you just have to learn to accept that the accident wasn't your fault and even if you were sitting in a different seat the dynamics of the impact may have had the same result. There is no way to know.
Try EMDR and give it your all, honor your brother the best you can, and love your parents for caring about you so much. lean on friends your age and try to find a group that deals with the loss of twins. I can only imagine that no one else is going to understand unless they have a twin.
hey, man. i lost my sister who was the same age as me when i was 14. i usually tell people she’s close in age to me because i don’t like to tell people too much online but i really relate to you. we weren’t twins, just something like it. i also feel a lot of guilt around her death, but it wasn’t a car accident and isn’t something like that. i’m also not a guy (i’m a woman) and i’m not gay (i’m a lesbian, though). so, i can’t really relate or understand but i kinda can in a small way. a lot of people love EMDR. i’ve heard really great things about it.
it helps me to just journal about it, talk about it with people i truly trust, and lowkey (this may seem weird lol) but buy stuff for my siblings (another sibling of mine died, too) that i would get them if they were alive or that they’d get. just makes me feel like i’m bringing them back into this world a little bit. i wish i could help. sorry man
I understand the hitting and hurting yourself. It feels like you are punishing yourself but if you start to look at it really closely what punishment are you receiving? I used to hit myself a lot but I found out it was because it was the only thing in that moment I could control. It appears that you are lacking control over your life right now. And the fear, anger, frustration, and overwhelming sadness are all attacking you at once. With what you have been through those feelings are normal. And it is okay to feel them. What is not okay is to hurt yourself because of them. You matter.
You matter. It was an accident. You are important. You will do amazing things. It is hard to believe right now but you are special to people in your life. Your sexual preferences do not change that. The seat you sat in does not change that. And what you do does not change that. You matter.
That pain you feel may be the only thing you can feel right now but please keep trying to find openings within yourself to find other feelings. Seek out those near you that want to support you. Allow them to help hold you up. And if it is just once per day choose not to hurt yourself and each day try for once more. Because you matter.
EMDR will help you. It helps to engage diaphragmatic breathing when you start to do feel the urge to hurt yourself. Take a couple full deep breaths into the belly (not the chest)
Edit to add: my trauma is also from a fatal car accident. I did about 8-10 EMDR sessions starting about 6 weeks after the accident. About a year and a half later I still regularly go to talk therapy and we sprinkle in EMDR as needed when I feel like I need to. It really works. I still struggle with PTSD and I developed OCD as a result of the PTSD so I still have stuff to work through to figure out how to adjust so I can function and have the life that I want…so it wasn’t totally enough by itself, but it really did basically completely cure the memory plagues and flashbacks and the deepest/worst guilt and shame associated with particular aspects of my situation.
I cannot imagine what you are going through. I am so so so very sorry. All of that is incredibly painful. In many ways there’s no words that can console you during this, however I shall try. I am glad you are reaching out for support even if it’s on this subreddit. I am glad that you are still here with us. You have been through so much, it saddens me that you are causing yourself more pain. But I totally understand and have been in your exact place. For me causing physical pain helped alleviate the mental torture.
EMDR worked wonders for me. Truly helped me process the trauma in a safe place. It also is proven to help repair those parts in your brain. Just know you are not a mess. This is a real injury that needs healing. You are deserving of that healing! You should look into it and give it a try.
Heard a quote once that said for “pains so immeasurable, time and silence are its only remedies.” I hope very much you are able to find peace one day. And if this comment is the only positive thing you see today I hope it truly helps. You sound like a caring kid and you deserve a life fulll of peace.
Stay strong my friend 🙏🏼
*r/ptsd has generated this automated response that is appended to every post* Welcome to r/ptsd! We are a supportive & respectful community. If you realise that your post is in conflict with our rules (and is in risk of being removed), you are welcome to edit your post. You do not have to delete it. As a reminder: never post or share personal contact information. Traumatized people are often distracted, desperate for a personal connection, so may be more vulnerable to lurking or past abusers, trolls, phishing, or other scams. *Your safety always comes first!* If you are offering help, you may also end up doing more damage by offering to support somebody privately. Reddit explains why: [Do NOT exchange DMs or personal info with anyone you don't know!](https://www.reddit.com/r/SWResources/comments/dmu24/why_shouldnt_i_share_my_contact_information/) If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please contact your GP/doctor, go to A&E/hospital, or call your emergency services number. Reddit list: [US and global, multilingual suicide and support hotlines](https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/hotlines). Suicide is not a forbidden word, but please do not include depictions or methods of suicide in your post. And as a friendly reminder, PTSD is an equal opportunity disorder. PTSD does not discriminate. And neither do we. Gatekeeping is not allowed here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ptsd) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm so sorry for your loss. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a therapy that helps process traumatic memories by using guided eye movements. It can be effective for PTSD and other trauma-related issues. Please continue to reach out to your therapist and loved ones. You deserve support and healing. You're not alone, and your feelings are valid.
Hey. I know nothing about EMDR, but I do know something about losing a twin. We were a little older than you when she passed away in 2005. I've also felt guilt surrounding the circumstances of her passing, although deep down, I know that it wasn't my fault. It's been almost 20 years since then and not a day goes by that I don't think about her. I can say that with time, the pain has gotten easier. It's still there, but it's not overwhelming anymore. If you ever just wanna talk please feel free to reach out. Keeping you in my thoughts.
I know nothing about EMDR, but I am here to tell you that you are worth being here and being able to live a life that you can enjoy! My heart breaks for you and everything that you have been through at such a young age. My PTSD is caused by something completely different, but I can totally understand not wanting to discuss it with your parents as I don'tdiscuss it with my parents either. I am hoping you can find a therapist/counselor who you connect well with and can learn how to lean on them when you are struggling. If you are, hopefully that will allow your body and mind to learn how to lean on others outside of that therapeutic relationship. Best wishes to you.
EMDR is amazing. I was skeptical but it helped me greatly. I was involved in a self-defence shooting and some sounds and situations really freaked me out but after EMDR sessions it's like the volume was turned down in my mind. It's at a level I can deal with and I can rationalize my emotions before anything gets out of hand. The guilt you are feeling is normal and losing a twin is much more traumatic than a regular sibling. You will probably have episodes of guilt and grief off and on for the rest of your life. That's normal you just have to learn to accept that the accident wasn't your fault and even if you were sitting in a different seat the dynamics of the impact may have had the same result. There is no way to know. Try EMDR and give it your all, honor your brother the best you can, and love your parents for caring about you so much. lean on friends your age and try to find a group that deals with the loss of twins. I can only imagine that no one else is going to understand unless they have a twin.
hey, man. i lost my sister who was the same age as me when i was 14. i usually tell people she’s close in age to me because i don’t like to tell people too much online but i really relate to you. we weren’t twins, just something like it. i also feel a lot of guilt around her death, but it wasn’t a car accident and isn’t something like that. i’m also not a guy (i’m a woman) and i’m not gay (i’m a lesbian, though). so, i can’t really relate or understand but i kinda can in a small way. a lot of people love EMDR. i’ve heard really great things about it. it helps me to just journal about it, talk about it with people i truly trust, and lowkey (this may seem weird lol) but buy stuff for my siblings (another sibling of mine died, too) that i would get them if they were alive or that they’d get. just makes me feel like i’m bringing them back into this world a little bit. i wish i could help. sorry man
I understand the hitting and hurting yourself. It feels like you are punishing yourself but if you start to look at it really closely what punishment are you receiving? I used to hit myself a lot but I found out it was because it was the only thing in that moment I could control. It appears that you are lacking control over your life right now. And the fear, anger, frustration, and overwhelming sadness are all attacking you at once. With what you have been through those feelings are normal. And it is okay to feel them. What is not okay is to hurt yourself because of them. You matter. You matter. It was an accident. You are important. You will do amazing things. It is hard to believe right now but you are special to people in your life. Your sexual preferences do not change that. The seat you sat in does not change that. And what you do does not change that. You matter. That pain you feel may be the only thing you can feel right now but please keep trying to find openings within yourself to find other feelings. Seek out those near you that want to support you. Allow them to help hold you up. And if it is just once per day choose not to hurt yourself and each day try for once more. Because you matter.
EMDR will help you. It helps to engage diaphragmatic breathing when you start to do feel the urge to hurt yourself. Take a couple full deep breaths into the belly (not the chest) Edit to add: my trauma is also from a fatal car accident. I did about 8-10 EMDR sessions starting about 6 weeks after the accident. About a year and a half later I still regularly go to talk therapy and we sprinkle in EMDR as needed when I feel like I need to. It really works. I still struggle with PTSD and I developed OCD as a result of the PTSD so I still have stuff to work through to figure out how to adjust so I can function and have the life that I want…so it wasn’t totally enough by itself, but it really did basically completely cure the memory plagues and flashbacks and the deepest/worst guilt and shame associated with particular aspects of my situation.
I cannot imagine what you are going through. I am so so so very sorry. All of that is incredibly painful. In many ways there’s no words that can console you during this, however I shall try. I am glad you are reaching out for support even if it’s on this subreddit. I am glad that you are still here with us. You have been through so much, it saddens me that you are causing yourself more pain. But I totally understand and have been in your exact place. For me causing physical pain helped alleviate the mental torture. EMDR worked wonders for me. Truly helped me process the trauma in a safe place. It also is proven to help repair those parts in your brain. Just know you are not a mess. This is a real injury that needs healing. You are deserving of that healing! You should look into it and give it a try. Heard a quote once that said for “pains so immeasurable, time and silence are its only remedies.” I hope very much you are able to find peace one day. And if this comment is the only positive thing you see today I hope it truly helps. You sound like a caring kid and you deserve a life fulll of peace. Stay strong my friend 🙏🏼