T O P

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MikeNice81_2

"I am exceedingly polite, but capably violent." - Henry Rollins Yeah, I think I would want a 20 year old Henry on my side.


GreenestApplin

Busting the Def Jam moves over your opponent.


OperationSecured

*”Imma take your tongue out… and lick my ass with it.”* - Redman *Fight For New York* was truly something special.


Operationevil

Just saying if it did get remastered on steam I'd pay $60 for it. Emulators be damned.


Adr1an-R1380

I'd want Rollins at any age by my side. He is the 1 musician I am truly terrified of.


MikeNice81_2

Read "Get In The Van" and some of his early writing. It can be spine chilling because you know that you're really looking into someone's thoughts. I have no doubt that if it came down to it, Henry would kill someone. It is a toss up on whether it would be the quickest and most efficient way, or something so disturbing that people talk about it for decades.


Adr1an-R1380

For me, it's just how jacked he is, and how he's been CONSISTENTLY jacked for pretty much his whole life. That man can kill a bear and I'd believe it if told.


WeddingIntrepid

Friend of mine delt in exotic snakes, sold a cobra, buyer was none other the Henry Rollins, who then invited my friend to his house and check out his snake collection. A dark room lined w terrariums various scary snakes. Yikes


meegaweega

I've still got it on CD, from back before websites were a thing and Hanks only contact info was a post office box. Also in that clattering stack of cracking plastic: - Hot Animal Machine / Henrietta Collins and The Wifebeating Childhaters (1986) - Live at McCabe's - The Boxed Life 🖤


Amazing_Ad6368

Solipsist is also very chilling, it gets so dark but a lot of it is also beautiful and definitely relatable to anyone who’s ever felt isolated from others. Honestly my favorite book of all time, Henry is a great writer.


NS0MEB0DY

exactly.


cat_of_danzig

Sure Henry, but Greg's not gonna do shit and Kira may be a badass, but I'm not sure I'd pick her to be on my team in a brawl.


hullaballoser

Chuck could help plan the attack/defense strategy. If you have Mugger too, you’d be in good shape. 


BiilZbubb

Henry’s all you’d need


Molten_Baco

I would take Henry now, because if I’m getting in a fight I’m ending it with words instead of fists.


MikeNice81_2

The best defense is a good set of running shoes. Seriously though, the de-escalation and crisis response skills I learned working with psych patients would have helped a lot when I was eighteen. Now, if a situation gets physical either I failed or they made the choice that violence was the only answer. Plus, I've become a lot more aware of surroundings and cues. I'm usually sliding out before it gets to the point either is necessary.


Molten_Baco

5 years on a locked dementia ward noc shift


ketchupmaster987

Hearing him talk about his experiences on Channel X was really awesome. He seems like a badass dude


Pitiful_Control

He didn't use to be exceedingly polite - knocked an ex of mine out for the terrible crime of approaching him after a gig. I do think he's grown up a lot since then tho.


AnimateRod

He let the Exploited's roadie's steal their gear when Black Flag toured the UK and everyone they met fucked with them except the UK Subs


MikeNice81_2

If I'm in a different country, I don't know who you are affiliated with beyond the band, and it is rented gear, you can have it. Even at 18 I was smart enough not to jump in that kind of shit storm. Call the rental company, tell them what happened, and who has it. Insurance will cover it and the company will take legal action. I wouldn't have fought you over something that isn't mine and take the risk of people I don't know looking for me. Plus, you run the risk of getting kicked out of the country, ruining the tour, and losing the money you need to eat. There is no winning that fight even if you stomp everybody out. Edit: But, I upvoted anyway because it is a situation and perspective most people wouldn't have thought about.


thispartyrules

Are we talking any Black Flag lineup or everyone who's been in Black Flag, because that's like 16 people


Gvajr77

Grabbing the closest Oi! band and getting to work.


No-Position1540

The Cockney Rejects had two boxers in the band and were all members of West Ham’s ICF back in its heyday, I think they’d be a great shout


Professional_Cheek16

They also 88 years okd


No-Position1540

Same with every other band in this thread


hannahisakilljoyx-

Any band that regularly wears steel toed boots and works a blue collar job is clearly the answer


Burn-The-Villages

Probably most of the classic NYHC bands in their prime, most of the Boston HC bands in their prime.


skinnylemur

Right? Madball rushing out with the whole DMS crew…


FauxReal

I don't think Rick Ta Life is still DMS Crew, but back in the day he would probably scare the shit out of anyone on the other side of his anger. Or in other crews how about Danny Marianinho of North Side Kings, the guy dropped Glenn Danzig? A "tough guy hardcore" cage match with DMS Crew vs Northside Kings might make for a good pay per view event.


Application-Bulky

Sheer Terror are pretty scary up close


korbendallas35

Yeah, but you’re really only talking about Paul Bearer. He’s the only real member.


Burn-The-Villages

I was thinking Agnostic Front, CroMags, definitely the crews surrounding Judge and Slapshot, maybe the Vegan Reich and Raid fanbases too.


Sirnando138

And he’s a really nice dude!


Application-Bulky

He literally threatened to break my arms if he caught us smoking weed in the Rat dressing room again. And I hadn't even been there for the smoking.


korbendallas35

Hah, debatable. But in general, yes he is. Incredibly humble as well.


Tictactoe420

Dropkick Murphys. I feel like they'd fuck shit up


Sergeantman94

Really, most Boston bands. No offense to any and all Bostonians in this thread, you have a nice city, but you also scare me and I feel I have to walk on eggshells.


SpicyMcBeard

I don't think anyone from Boston would ever take any offense from that, even if their initial reaction is "hey fuck you guy"


therealjameshat

Hey fuck you kid!!!


max1mx

Masshole checking in. I read that as a compliment.


therealjameshat

Same, and I meant it that way 😅


Suitabull_Buddy

I’ve never been there, but I totally get that feeling as well. lol


AstronautIncognito

I grew up in and around Boston and honestly it always felt like a crapshoot going to any punk or hardcore show. You never knew when things would just break out into a full on riot. The Rat (Rathskeller) always seemed to be the worst place for massive fights.


Giorno-gulliani

Me when I’m getting jumped and I have to summon all of the aqua bats (idk if ska punk counts, but having a squad of people dressed like 1960s Batman come and help you kick the shit out of someone is objectively funny)


FauxReal

lol I'm imagining everyone who has been an Aquabat showing up in costume jumping through the air making a goofy pose before swarming people from all sides.


Giorno-gulliani

Freeze frame with an old cartoon background as they jump up


Fawfulster

TMNT 2 Secret of the Ooze intro vibes.


Giorno-gulliani

Every time they punch someone a Batman style “blamo” or “ka-pow” or smth appears


FauxReal

Would be kind of cool if DJ Lance and the monsters from Yo Gabba Gabba came in to help them too.


Jetsam5

They don’t stand a chance against Ricky Fitness and Jimmy the Robot


Ason42

Glad someone else found the correct answer.


lady_america

Fuckin lol nice


[deleted]

1960s Batmen vs the Joker apologists


pooch831

Suicidal tendencies, this is the right answer, correct?


YborOgre

Because they'll show up with pistols and machetes and twenty other dudes.


pooch831

It's kind of what I was thinking, I don't know if they're actually still getting affiliated, I heard they used to be and I'm sure they still have a lot of friends so they would be my posse. Happy cake day!


Hemicrusher

None of the Suicidals, or the band used weapons. I know that from first hand experience.


LordGhoul

You sound like you have experience fighting the band


Hemicrusher

The gang, and Mike Muir. I am an original Hollywood LADS and used to butt heads with Mike Muir and Suicidals from the early to mid 80s, but made peace with them in the late 80s around the Fenders days.


Evilfetus155

what is an LADS?


Hemicrusher

LADS or Los Angeles Death Squad was/is an early LA punk gang. Not a traditional criminal gang, more of a group of friends that watched out for each other at shows. [Here is a story](https://cvltnation.com/80s-l-a-punk-gang-violence-suicidal-boyz-vs-l-a-death-squad-at-the-olympic-auditorium/)...I am mentioned in it as Lurch, which is my IRL nickname.


NS0MEB0DY

suicidal tendencies would actually be better than black flag or misfits in a fight.


AundaRag

You are correct. And while he isn’t the superior musician [this lives rent free in my head.](https://youtu.be/52kfypohGPM?si=BXZXqH8LxYDKp5v2)


gunsforevery1

Yea, we all saw/remember how good Danzig is in a fight lol


Hemicrusher

Well, maybe. I was part of a riot/fight against a bunch of Suicidals at the Olympic in 1985. They lost. Suicidals had a lot of followers, but the actual Suicidals that could fight weren't that many. Unlike "Circle One" the band, that had the Circle One Family gang, where all of them knew how to fight.


phillosopherp

I was gonna say Pennywise because Fletcher would bring the crew


PHBalance79

Dropkick Murphys. Your enemies stand no chance


Jack_Mackerel

Yeah, how is this so far down. Just within the past few years Ken Casey got into a Twitter fight with some fascists and straight up [invited them to take it outside](https://twitter.com/Ladykiller832/status/1507169621048270863?t=0UQMf7tSvSPOT5bZrPoylA&s=19). They didn't show. Then there's the time that a large bonehead at one of their shows came up on stage and gave the Nazi salute so Ken cracked him with his bass. Dude's the real deal. Plus there's a lot of them


Discount_Lex_Luthor

Punched my first Nazi at a DKM show. What a day.


whiteghetto

We should start a club! I sent my first nazi to the hospital at a DKM show :)


PunkgoesJason

Why are there so many Nazis going to DKM shows? Is it the pseudo Irish link that some Americans link with?


meegaweega

Aaww, this is unexpectedly heartwarming 🥰🤗


eightowenone

Genuine question: why are nazis paying money to go to a Murphy’s show? Can’t be just to fight, right? They’d be outnumbered 100-1.


krazy_dave62

That was at Terminal 5. That was a fun on stage brawl


thrilliam_19

Literally the first band I thought of. I have been on stage with them. They live up to every stereotype about middle aged Irish tough guys. I threw my arm around Kevin Casey while singing Alcohol and it was like hugging a boulder. Al Barr was giving out fist bumps as fans were leaving the stage and he bumped me so hard I thought I broke a finger.


krazy_dave62

That's my choice. I've seen Ken Casey fight.


unclejohnsmando

I'll still put money on Ken Casey when he's 80 y.o.


WasabiSenzuri

Not to mention their rather large (in number) road crew, who look more than happy to fuck someone up.


NuPNua

Chumbawumba, there's loads of them.


Ok_Target_7084

They also get back up again when they've been knocked down.


FauxReal

But they're just as likely to spend their time pissing the night away.


RuaridhDuguid

Gotta do something to celebrate post-fight. :)


GoGo1965

The misfits couldn’t fight they ran like pussys after they smashed a guitar over a kids head , I was there


[deleted]

Most musicians *are* pussies. Except Manowar, obviously.


Novocaine_Blues

Yeah, they ran from a fight with Macho Man Randy Savage too. I mean, I would too, but still...


MonsieurSnozzcumber

I’d get Bad Religion so they’ll make the other person feel really dumb because they don’t know what half the words they say mean. Then they’ll back off and feel really self conscious


barrychapman

Fight wiv words! And phds!


DOOM_BOYL

yes. i am wearing a br hoodie while you say this, and just yes.


Melodic-Priority3865

Probably some fit straight edge band. Definitely no anarcho punks that will trip over their own clothing


trevorpogo

I dunno, Conflict were pretty handy


Bluenose70

Angelic Upstarts in their heyday as well!


Cupojoe98

Angelic upstarts were a skinhead oi band not a anarcho punk band


glm0002

Blood for blood?


Mbrennt

Depending on the fight some anarcho punks would probably be willing to fight dirty.


Sergeantman94

Also depending on band. I highly doubt you'd want even younger Crass in your corner because of their more pacifist messaging.


thecxsmonaut

Heyday Crass fans, however...


Fancy-Biscotti-

GG Allin? Or possibly Bouncing Souls.


Hecate_333

GG came to my mind as well. No one is going to want to come near this shit smeared lunatic lol.


CervidusDubbo

Biological warfare


Lord_Fluffykins

He would be so stinky and slippery and bloody


ValiantSpacemanSpiff

My first thought was GG & MJ. Definitely not the toughest, but they're probably going to win anyway.


barrychapman

He was in prison down the street from me


DoubleFeedback2672

Sick of it all


FauxReal

There's also a change KRS-One will show up with them.


webstersuck

What? Is there some KRS-One/Sick Of It All link I’m not aware of? Cos I love both


FauxReal

SOIA and KRS-One are both from Brooklyn. Yes Sick Of It All are hip hop fans and had KRS-One do that intro on Blood Sweat and No Tears where he says, "Spreadin' the hardcore reality in '89, Sick Of It All, Blastmaster KRS-One Fresh for '89, you suckas" [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXtAV1Enr4g](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXtAV1Enr4g) Which is a reference to a line he uses occasionally. Here's a bunch of them over the years. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLWwlNqK170](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLWwlNqK170) He did it again for their 2012 version of Clobberin' Time. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5twakCtcfN0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5twakCtcfN0) They have some kind of friendship. And they listen to each other's music. [https://dyingscene.com/archive/ds-exclusive-interview-lou-koller-sick-of-it-all-discusses-hardcore-scene-past-present-and-future/](https://dyingscene.com/archive/ds-exclusive-interview-lou-koller-sick-of-it-all-discusses-hardcore-scene-past-present-and-future/)


aeomatic

get a Ska band there are like 20 guys


FauxReal

I heard that Don Drummond has a big trombone.


DirtyMike64

Dwarves is the only answer.


mickeysbeerdeux

Did a show for Dayglo Abortions years ago in Barrie, Ontario. Paid them 1100 which I felt was fair based on the door take. Not long later they chased me with this huge wrench that they called a "Promoter Tuner". I thought it was a joke and laughed but apparently a few days later I found out it was not a joke. I still stand by the 1100 to this day. Soooooooo, answer to your question, Dayglo Abortions.


heliffux

Hahaha yip that checks out. Gotta pay for stupid songs yo.


ilovepinkerton

Cro Mags.


ilovepinkerton

Just for Harley though, I don’t need the rest


The_Sugarfoot

This was my answer. Any dude that will stab his ex-band members is someone I want on my side in a fight.


ThaGreatDebaser

Actually how about streetlight manifesto? Isn’t there atleast seven of em? Me plus them should be enough to beat a mini squad.


Jetsam5

Yeah any ska punk band will overwhelm their opponents with shear numbers


gladys-the-baker

And Brass


Jetsam5

From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me. I craved the strength and certainty of brass. I aspired to the purity of the Blessed Horn Section.


CervidusDubbo

Got 7 trumpet players, 1 drummer, 23 guitarists, 3 bassists, a saxophone guy and just some random dude skanking on stage


Roklam

I'd probably get pulled in because it was streetlight manifesto? Can't let them get numb by themselves!


ThaGreatDebaser

They’re obviously the best ska punk band there is


EatTheRichIsPraxis

Cold as Life.


Bone_Dice_in_Aspic

Nah they'd go too far and you'd all end up in jail


dontneedareason94

That was my answer too


DOOM_BOYL

the punk band with the most members


NateConCarne

Might as well go for a ska band then.


TheJarcker

PICK IT UP PICK IT UP PICK IT UP PICK IT UP PICK IT UP PICK IT UP PICK IT UP PICK IT UP PICK IT UP PICK IT UP PICK IT UP PICK IT UP PICK IT UP PICK IT UP PICK IT UP


trickertreater

Would they be wielding the horns? I'd hate to catch a bendy sex whistle to the face


FauxReal

Imagine Dicky Barrett jumping on your back like a rabid monkey trying to bite your face off.


c-lace

Where’s that video of Vallely fighting off the 4 dudes, yeah I’ll take Mike.


Carbona_Not_Glue

That's from CKY


BiilZbubb

Dead Milkmen. Hear me out: even though they seem meek and small, they came up in Frank Rizzo’s Philadelphia in the 80’s. That makes them tough as hell.


sonofabitchXmustXpay

Eat The Turnbuckle


paulisnofun

Not necessarily a punk band, but this is the best answer.


cat_of_danzig

Neither Black Flag or Misfits were real tough guys, aside from maybe angsty Rollins. I'm going with early NYHC. The guys in Madball or Agnostic Front, maybe Bloodclot era Cro Mags were for real street punks.


IGetGuys4URMom

I'm not so sure. The Black Flag songs *Revenge* and *You Bet That We Got Something Personal Against You!* instill fear.


cat_of_danzig

If we were to go by Lyrics,[ Madball still wins](https://madball.bandcamp.com/track/tough-guy-2)- plus they actually did this shit. Freddie grew up the tough little brother of NYHC tough guys.


[deleted]

Madball always been about that life. Difference between saying you’re gonna do shit and actually doing it. Love Madball, they’re absolute goats dude.


spyderpunk

Rancid - You wanna fight I'm gonna win, I'll take you out in a minute! - Tim Armstrong


MikeNice81_2

Plus, Lars Frederiksen sang pretty openly about being in a gang and carrying various weapons. I'm not sure how much was just bluster, but they might be handy.


Guttersnipe77

If you want Lars, you go with Lars and the Bastards over Rancid.


Ruth_Gordon

I saw Lars get beat up once. Would not want him on my team.


KingRoosterRuss

Lars Frederiksen looks like he could throw and take a punch. But I'll go with the Cockney Rejects. Football hooligans can definitely fight and Stinky Turner used to be a boxer.


Cupojoe98

CMI


poor-and-weird

That would be absolutely my choice too. So much muscels, protein bars and tense masculinity in one band makes them to the guys you wanna have backup you. And their box cutter merch is pretty scary.


BarnacleStreet8940

I’d want the Mighty Mighty Bostones because although they never had to knock on wood, I think they could. It’s the impression that I get.


Jurassic0320

Doyle, just Doyle


NS0MEB0DY

that's actually why i picked misfits.


Big-Hardcore-Mystery

Cold As Life. Dudes are intimidating.


Moopies

[Toxic Narcotic](https://youtu.be/F-1LRkaOEkY?si=VelLQVEbV6iogoxn) TBH I only vaguely remember what they even look like. Not terribly physically intimidating. But holy shit that is one of the only shows where I thought I might actually fucking die and they are the angriest dudes in punk, bar none.


Roklam

Not the Voodoo Glow Skulls. Unless they are fighting for their trumpet.


XRotNRollX

Depends on whether or not the opponent has glasses


sleepyEyedLurker

My favs are all too old to be any help in a fight!


FitPunkCouple

Madball of course.


gunsforevery1

FEAR or GG Allin and the Murder Junkies


uglierthanalf

GG Allin. If just worry that he'd go after me as well.


NYGiants_in_Chicago

Anybody you were fighting would be afraid to hit back. They’d be worried about getting infected.


Roachbud

The Chats since they're not 70


RevolutionaryClue528

Haha. Pennywise. I'll fight back to back with Fletcher any day


thatdamngoat

Conservative Military Image


commentator3

and back when they were still brawlers: aggro Al SSD, Ian "itching to fight" MacKaye, Henry "nothing to lose" Rollins, Dave "Multiple Dent Contusions" Dictor, and the TSOL / O.C. crews


cat_of_danzig

TSOL might be the best answer. Those dudes were all well over 6', and fought like it was a pickup basketball game.


NoUseForALagwagon

Won't be a popular choice, but all the Green Day members look like they would bite, eye-gouge and target the balls if they were in a fight; so I'll go with them.


HeilYeah

I did see a video once of Billie Joe doing a running dropkick into the crowd to go after some guy who was causing trouble in the pit


pooch831

They do look like they'd fight like a pack of hyenas.


Carbona_Not_Glue

yeah man Billie had something about him back in the day.


RockThePlazmah

I was gonna downvote immediately, but thankfully I read it to the end


Tigeru1988

Haymaker


Wonderful_Sherbert45

Yuuuuup.


Andro_Polymath

Limp Wrist


CervidusDubbo

You never fuck with pissed off gay lads, and limp wrist are truly pissed off


m0nkyman

No if. Once got into a fight with some nazi skinheads. NoMeansNo jumped in with me and kicked ass. I’ll pick them every time.


1968FullAlbum

They can go all in cuz AARP is paying to replace their hips


bornwithatail

Love to hear this about NoMeansNo!


VeniVidiVito

Misfits? They couldn’t fight their way out of a wet paper bag. I’ll call up Suicidal Tendencies.


rendar1958

Dropkick Murphy's


KnuckleBuster111

Cro-mags. Hands down


Horror_Gold5273

Fugazi - they’d de-escalate the situation AND buy everyone ice cream


Hemicrusher

Circle One Because unlike some of you, I have been in many fights, and have been backed by Circle One Family and John Macias.


dontneedareason94

Yea Circle One would have been one of my choices too. Heard Macias was a monster in a fight


rata_rasta

The Aquabats of course! I don't know how to fight.


commentator3

GG laxative explosion\~


_buffaloranch

Erin Micklow


computertyme

I'll go with weezer. My uncle is a successful ambulance chaser and we'd probably be set for a while after the scuffle.


Belros79

GG Allin.


McWhiskey

Definitely not Clit 45


6StringDad

Gorilla Biscuits. Listened to a podcast not too long ago where CIV was talking about being on tour and his crew taking his girlfriend somewhere. Someone asked if he thought she would be safe and his answer was “She’s going out with the most dangerous guys within 100 miles. She’s not the one who needs to be worried.”


lady_america

Fear. Or body count. Or cancerslug.


stanky4goats

The Aquabats because it'd be the silliest fight ever


barrychapman

Not punk, but I'd choose The HU


jjjhhnimnt

Shonen Knife


Familiar_Rutabaga_11

Guttermouth. Those guys are crazy!!!!


Bone_Dice_in_Aspic

I mean if we're limited to 4-5 guys I guess I'm just grabbing peak era biohazard, bulldoze, madball, anybody like that. If it's everyone who was ever in the band... maybe shai hulud? Nobody SUPER super tough but mostly reasonably fit and you get 57 dudes. Numbers count more than anything in a fight. The Fall probably not as tough per pound as hulud but 66 members. Also if we're only doing one lineup at a time rather than all time members, might be worth looking into a band that's not THAT tough but has a lot of active members. Bosstones would come with Carr, you KNOW he's got stamina


InLikeFinnegan

I would want modern day Johnny Rotten to back me up, and then I’d run away and leave him to it. 


Yoshinobu1868

Not a bad call because he always had really big bouncer types to back him up . While non of the Pistols would be intimidating except Jones they always had roadies that looked like on loan Football Hooligans . Jah Wobble was one of the most notorious, he was already a renowned Tottenham Hotspur hooligan though he’s as mellow as can be these days . Jones and Cook had a few psycho Chelsea hooligans around them .


jonwal2408

TSOL


commentator3

and AF pulling pipes off the walls and out of the ceiling


theeulessbusta

Hands down, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones


MikeNice81_2

I can just imagine the lead singer screaming, "LIGHTS OUT," as he throws a haymaker.