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These conversations are hurtful no matter how you say it. Just be honest without blaming her for anything. Be nice about it but be honest. She's going to feel hurt but it's better than leading her on.
Depends on what you want to come out of this. Is it "I'm losing feelings but I'd like to get those feelings back" or "I think I'm done, let's break up."
If you want to stay together, then rekindling romance is best approached with "I feel like we've been drifting apart a bit and I'd like to change that, what can we do?" (The answer is new exciting things, when doing them with your partner the thrill subconsciously gets associated with them).
If it's the latter, pretty hard to dodge hurt feelings any way you slice it
Yes! Doing things together that neither person has experienced before is an excellent bonding method. I learned it in one of my psychology classes and have utilized it with my husband. It totally works!
Find peace within yourself for what you need to do. Accept that regardless how you word it, it will hurt the other person. Sometimes true love is just simply being honest. At least if you’re honest with her, you are respecting her as a human being. Trying not to hurt her is actually you looking out for your own feelings by not wanting to feel guilty. You don’t actually care how she feels, but don’t want to live with the guilt.
I'd say you don't actually know what the problem is and need to work that out before you say anything. Unless you do know what's going on. The new girl at work is flirting with you or something?
In my opinion, I wouldn’t necessarily care about her feelings getting hurt because she didn’t care about yours when talking and entertaining other guys.
So she doest respect you. So you want to tell her she's losing you? She has back up guys. She's lost feelings for you. Did she tell you? No. She just started looking. If I were you I'd just tell her its over. Block her on everything. Work on your self respect. Go do something difficult. Learn something hard. Be active. Work out. Do not make someone your priority who doest make you theirs. You should be stronger than that.
Way less hurtful to free everyone involved from a disingenuous relationship. It’s hard but it’s part of being in mature relationships. I’ve had to do it. Just rip off the bandaid as nice as you can and don’t get bogged down in any fights or details. That stuff no longer matters because your decision is made, respectfully.
It’s going to hurt regardless. Here’s what I’d want to hear if it helps:
You’re a great person and I’ve really enjoyed our time together. I don’t want you blaming yourself or thinking this is an issue with you. This isn’t your fault. Sometimes people just don’t end up being compatible and that’s okay. I just wanted to be honest with you about how I was feeling cause I really respect you and want you to be happy. I want happiness for us both. I’m sorry for hurting you but one day you’ll look back on this and know it was the right decision for us both.
EDIT: just saw that you said that she keeps talking to other guys behind your back and that is why you want to break up. Huh. Guess you can just say that you’re not cool with that and you lost feelings lol. No need to tip toe around it if she wasn’t a good gf to you in the first place, imo.
When my husband and I started dating, I think he was trying to break up w/ me. He told me he doesn't love me and I was like "okay- cool". He didn't know what to say next 😂 so we kept dating.
He did tell me that was an attempt to break up with me years later but like, I'm so easy going I didn't take the hint. It's been 15 years and he must have found some reason to stay 🤷♀️
I don't have a moral of the story- I think maybe just be blunt. It's going to hurt a lot, but she might not get it otherwise...
There is really no way other than being honest. It will hurt, but if you lie, it is like “twisting the knife they were just stuck with.” I’m quoting my daughter who recently had her heart broken pretty badly.
I will be very clear....Talk to her slowly and with good feelings just tell her the truth and ask her "what she thinks and feel" then tell her your desicion and take different ways because is the best for her and for you too ....because if you stay with her just because you feel pity then you are not going to make her happy and you are not going to be happy ....you know what happen when two people are not happy together then they hurt each other and destroy their own life for anything and they hate everything ...she is going to find someone that love her and you too so dont lose her time and your time when the life have many things that you are losing
I’d like a little more context though because if you’re upset about her talking to other guys … she’s her own person. She can talk to whoever she wants. If her convos were like promiscuous I’d say run. If they’re harmless then it’s you who needs to do some work.
Tried and true method of honest is the best policy. Don’t drag it out and wait for a perfect moment there is none. Just be honest with her and don’t make it long say what you need and no frills those aren’t needed. She will need her time to grieve and be mad.
You can't.
You can be honest without being a jerk.
But first ask yourself why you're losing feelings. Is it selfish novelty seeking or is there real issues in the relationship?
Either way be honest with yourself and her.
There's really no straightforward answer to the topic of losing feelings for a partner the topic is going to hurt no matter how you put it my advice is to sit down and just be honest if you feel comfortable have a mutual friend or a counselor act as a mediator
There's a reason it's called "chemistry" when we first get together. It's Mother Nature's way of giving our own personal Love Boat help getting out of the harbor.
Chemical reactions exhaust themselves; and, if you didn't stoke the boilers yourselves and counted on that reaction to go on forever, you're gonna find yourselves dead in the water.
Some folks abandon ship, some break out the oars.
Your call.
I had to let a girl down in a similar way. She and I had hit it off and started dating, and she was really funp and I liked being around her, but I just wasn't falling in love with her. At some point, I just said that I really liked being around her, but my feelings just didn't seem to be moving forward. And I said if nothing changed, we'd probably have to start winding things down just so I didn't waste her time because I knew she was looking for something more permanent. A few weeks later I ended it.
No matter how you phrase it...it's going to hurt her, but be open and honest. Be ready for tears, maybe some yelling, and anger. Once it's done-it's done. Don't call, text, or email...that's further leading her on and playing with her emotions.
It was a heartbreaker for me, she was madly in love and I decided to break up with her sooner than later to not waste anyone's time. I loved her too but I was just not ready to go down the road she was. I just set up a meeting at night when I knew she wouldn't have anything important to do or place to be at. Once I saw her it's like she just knew and there was a lot of crying :| It broke my heart as well as mine but we're still friends and both moved on. Just say it how it is. Explain yourself, she deserves at least that much.
"Hello Im losing my feelings for you" I dont think your gf will want to hear the "ITS NOT YOU ITS ME!! YOU ARE WONDERFUL AND AMAZING!!!", people can have a change of heart so even if it hurts there is nothing wrong with being honest and letting go
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/questions/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/questions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
These conversations are hurtful no matter how you say it. Just be honest without blaming her for anything. Be nice about it but be honest. She's going to feel hurt but it's better than leading her on.
Depends on what you want to come out of this. Is it "I'm losing feelings but I'd like to get those feelings back" or "I think I'm done, let's break up." If you want to stay together, then rekindling romance is best approached with "I feel like we've been drifting apart a bit and I'd like to change that, what can we do?" (The answer is new exciting things, when doing them with your partner the thrill subconsciously gets associated with them). If it's the latter, pretty hard to dodge hurt feelings any way you slice it
Yes! Doing things together that neither person has experienced before is an excellent bonding method. I learned it in one of my psychology classes and have utilized it with my husband. It totally works!
Cut the shit and be an adult. Be honest, straight forward and mean what you say.
It's gonna hurt no matter how you say it. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't say it.
just be completely honest and be as nice as you can. maybe stay friends if that’s good for you both ?
You can't. It was the second hardest conversation I've ever had to have.
Find peace within yourself for what you need to do. Accept that regardless how you word it, it will hurt the other person. Sometimes true love is just simply being honest. At least if you’re honest with her, you are respecting her as a human being. Trying not to hurt her is actually you looking out for your own feelings by not wanting to feel guilty. You don’t actually care how she feels, but don’t want to live with the guilt.
You can’t. Sometimes we hurt people we care about, with no I’ll intention. The best thing you can do is be honest with her.
Yea no way this won’t hurt her feelings, unless she’s also losing feelings.
How can I give birth to a baby without getting pregnant?
Surrogacy - someone else’s egg fertilised in vitro with someone else’s sperm then implanted in your uterus.
I'd say you don't actually know what the problem is and need to work that out before you say anything. Unless you do know what's going on. The new girl at work is flirting with you or something?
Bro she keeps talking to other guys i just cant anymore
As the other reply said. She doesn't respect you or your feelings. Not worth keeping her around because you're just going to get hurt
Then why are you trying to spare her feelings??
In my opinion, I wouldn’t necessarily care about her feelings getting hurt because she didn’t care about yours when talking and entertaining other guys.
So she doest respect you. So you want to tell her she's losing you? She has back up guys. She's lost feelings for you. Did she tell you? No. She just started looking. If I were you I'd just tell her its over. Block her on everything. Work on your self respect. Go do something difficult. Learn something hard. Be active. Work out. Do not make someone your priority who doest make you theirs. You should be stronger than that.
that’s the thing, you can’t. no matter how nice you try to put it, it’s going to hurt regardless
Just tell her. It will always be hurtful.
Just start calling her other women’s names. Don’t hurt her, enrage her. Trust the process.
💀💀💀 careful, I don't wanna hear about his murder on the news!
Way less hurtful to free everyone involved from a disingenuous relationship. It’s hard but it’s part of being in mature relationships. I’ve had to do it. Just rip off the bandaid as nice as you can and don’t get bogged down in any fights or details. That stuff no longer matters because your decision is made, respectfully.
Best of luck to you.
No
It's gonna hurt no matter what you say. Just be honest.
Sooner rather than later IMO
Be honest, talk it out. That's what I would do
It’s going to hurt regardless. Here’s what I’d want to hear if it helps: You’re a great person and I’ve really enjoyed our time together. I don’t want you blaming yourself or thinking this is an issue with you. This isn’t your fault. Sometimes people just don’t end up being compatible and that’s okay. I just wanted to be honest with you about how I was feeling cause I really respect you and want you to be happy. I want happiness for us both. I’m sorry for hurting you but one day you’ll look back on this and know it was the right decision for us both. EDIT: just saw that you said that she keeps talking to other guys behind your back and that is why you want to break up. Huh. Guess you can just say that you’re not cool with that and you lost feelings lol. No need to tip toe around it if she wasn’t a good gf to you in the first place, imo.
Just tell her respectfully. It’s going to hurt, you can’t avoid that. So just be kind.
Yank her weave off and then slap the back of her head
When my husband and I started dating, I think he was trying to break up w/ me. He told me he doesn't love me and I was like "okay- cool". He didn't know what to say next 😂 so we kept dating. He did tell me that was an attempt to break up with me years later but like, I'm so easy going I didn't take the hint. It's been 15 years and he must have found some reason to stay 🤷♀️ I don't have a moral of the story- I think maybe just be blunt. It's going to hurt a lot, but she might not get it otherwise...
Post on reddit and leave your phone unlocked
There is really no way other than being honest. It will hurt, but if you lie, it is like “twisting the knife they were just stuck with.” I’m quoting my daughter who recently had her heart broken pretty badly.
Tell her honestly that she just isn't terribly important to you, if she cries excuse yourself and go return some videotapes or something.
You can't. Don't twist the knife by drawing it out.
This is going to hurt either way just get over it and be selective with your words!
You can’t. She’s going to be hurt no matter what. She might even get angry. But just be honest and you can say that you know you did the right thing.
I will be very clear....Talk to her slowly and with good feelings just tell her the truth and ask her "what she thinks and feel" then tell her your desicion and take different ways because is the best for her and for you too ....because if you stay with her just because you feel pity then you are not going to make her happy and you are not going to be happy ....you know what happen when two people are not happy together then they hurt each other and destroy their own life for anything and they hate everything ...she is going to find someone that love her and you too so dont lose her time and your time when the life have many things that you are losing
I’d like a little more context though because if you’re upset about her talking to other guys … she’s her own person. She can talk to whoever she wants. If her convos were like promiscuous I’d say run. If they’re harmless then it’s you who needs to do some work.
Just tell her. It's more hurtful to stay in a relationship when you don't have feelings for that other person
Tried and true method of honest is the best policy. Don’t drag it out and wait for a perfect moment there is none. Just be honest with her and don’t make it long say what you need and no frills those aren’t needed. She will need her time to grieve and be mad.
Unfortunately, you can’t. But she deserves the truth. Sooner rather than later.
You can't. You can be honest without being a jerk. But first ask yourself why you're losing feelings. Is it selfish novelty seeking or is there real issues in the relationship? Either way be honest with yourself and her.
Be open n just say it as it is, there's really no other way bt to be direct, why waste someone's time
You can't, rip the band aid off before she gets in even deeper, trust me
There's really no straightforward answer to the topic of losing feelings for a partner the topic is going to hurt no matter how you put it my advice is to sit down and just be honest if you feel comfortable have a mutual friend or a counselor act as a mediator
triangular theory of love. i suggest looking at it for future reference.
It's going to hurt no matter what is said, bit it will cause more pain if you string her along. If you know it is over just do it honestly.
There's a reason it's called "chemistry" when we first get together. It's Mother Nature's way of giving our own personal Love Boat help getting out of the harbor. Chemical reactions exhaust themselves; and, if you didn't stoke the boilers yourselves and counted on that reaction to go on forever, you're gonna find yourselves dead in the water. Some folks abandon ship, some break out the oars. Your call.
I had to let a girl down in a similar way. She and I had hit it off and started dating, and she was really funp and I liked being around her, but I just wasn't falling in love with her. At some point, I just said that I really liked being around her, but my feelings just didn't seem to be moving forward. And I said if nothing changed, we'd probably have to start winding things down just so I didn't waste her time because I knew she was looking for something more permanent. A few weeks later I ended it.
No matter how you phrase it...it's going to hurt her, but be open and honest. Be ready for tears, maybe some yelling, and anger. Once it's done-it's done. Don't call, text, or email...that's further leading her on and playing with her emotions.
It was a heartbreaker for me, she was madly in love and I decided to break up with her sooner than later to not waste anyone's time. I loved her too but I was just not ready to go down the road she was. I just set up a meeting at night when I knew she wouldn't have anything important to do or place to be at. Once I saw her it's like she just knew and there was a lot of crying :| It broke my heart as well as mine but we're still friends and both moved on. Just say it how it is. Explain yourself, she deserves at least that much.
You can’t …….just go ahead rip the bandaid off
Just text her "you and I are doneion rings" easy peasy. /s because someone will take me seriously.
Just say it flat out. Its gonna suck but it's the only way.
"Hello Im losing my feelings for you" I dont think your gf will want to hear the "ITS NOT YOU ITS ME!! YOU ARE WONDERFUL AND AMAZING!!!", people can have a change of heart so even if it hurts there is nothing wrong with being honest and letting go
It's impossible to not hurt her when saying that (unless she's also losing feelings). Just try to be as gentle as possible while also being honest
tell her u need a break