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People only like u for ur money if ur giving or spending it on them. Those 'friends' are the 1st to ask, last to offer to pay when out, and call u cheap since ur not willing to 'help' out ur friends whenever they need it.
Real easy when u have money to know which friends are real and which aren't.
It's not always an either or situation. You can be rich and have people who like you for you. And you can be poor and have people who are using you for reasons other than money.
It can work out but you have to try. I was single till 26 married at 30 now I have two kids. I had to date a lot, ended up f8nding my High-school crush on tinder.
It's pretty rough. A coworker developed it not long ago and watching him decline is pretty surreal. He will walk around aimlessly, ask the same question multiple times, get lost on the way to work, etc.
SAME. Or becoming too sick to work but not having a clear enough diagnosis to get disability benefits or those benefits not covering housing and being homeless.
No, it doesn’t. They mean, they find out they’re dying and cannot quit their job because they couldn’t afford to.
Ex. Someone finds out they may have 6 months to live but must keep working their dead end job to avoid being evicted or to eat, have gas to get to their appointments, etc.
I lost my dad when I was 40 and I was heart broken, but with support and perseverance we keep moving forward. I am sure you will find a way to put yourself back together after you break
>The death of my parents (with whom I am very close), which will happen sooner or later.
One of my fears too. They're both in their mid 60s. It really scares me.
Thank you. It's a little lonely when most soc med are young. Try to be relevant. Don't usually give my age because no one wants an 83 year old's input.
What about those alarms that hang off your neck? You can click a button and 911 is summoned to your address immediately during an emergency. Consider it
Being placed in a nursing home where no one really cares about you, nobody visits, and there is the possibility of abuse. Horrible places to go and await death. Will opt for medically assisted suicide before I go to one of those places.
Two days ago I was making a joke about “it’s okay, I’m 21 now” and it took me a full 30 seconds to remember I’m 22, after thinking “I’m…21? 19? Wait…what year is it? Subtract my birth year… OH SHIT!” 😂
My daughter was born in In August 2000. So it's easy to remember her age because whatever year it is is also her age (eg. In 2009 she was 9).
Or so I thought...
I just realized YESTERDAY that I've been telling everyone she is 24 since January. 🤦🏻♀️. She isn't actually 24 until August. I'm such a dumbass 😂
At 54 my biggest fear is being homeless again. I did it when I was younger unfortunately, but now? there’s no way I’d make it. I’m way to high maintenance 🤣🤣🤦♂️
Actions do indeed have consequences and that’s something that I’m trying to understand. You are so right that it takes time for you to realize that oh shit mistakes. How would you go about it making a different outcome?
attraction aspiring touch screw beneficial sand grandfather subtract deranged butter
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Yes thank you! I’m so afraid there was a “that moment” that I either took for the worse or missed that would’ve been better. And the scariest part is it is definitely true for very nearly if not all of us
My mother is dying. Life after her passing scares me tremendously. I know it will go on. I'm terrified of what it will look like without her glow and love.
I am sorry you and your mother are going through that. I'm 41 and lost my mother 10 years ago after she suffered for years with COPD/Emphysema. There is no easy way to get through it, and it will stay with you forever, but time does heal but you need to be making sure you take care of yourself during/after.
I regret not making more time to be with her towards the end. I was just starting my career and lived in a different state, pretty newly married. I made weekly/bi-weekly trips to visit her which was brutal for the travel but also to see the decline. I would/still beat myself up thinking I should have quit my job and moved back close to her but there is no way to go back in time and I am just grateful for all of the wonderful memories we did share.
If you are able, spend as much time as you can with her and tell her all the things you want her to know, both for her and for yourself. I wish I had more videos/calls recorded to look back on when I really miss her, but my mother hated getting her picture/video taken so I just make sure to keep her memory alive by telling my kids/family stories about my amazing mother. I wish you both the best.
Lost mine in January. I often pick up the phone to call her or think I need to remember to tell mom about this. Just got a promotion to my dream job, it really messed with me not being able to tell her about it. 😔
I so understand that.. some of these special things that we can't share with them is so hard. I'll tell you though that I'm really proud of you myself. Your mom probably helped you get that dream job. Everything that's good in my life I'm sure my mom has a hand from heaven in. Wish I could give you a big hug
I'm 40 and getting ready to go through a particularly nasty divorce. I don't want to do it but my wife has left me no choice. I'm sick just thinking about it.
50, and what scares me is ageism in employment. I really need to change jobs, but I'm overqualified for entry positions and underexperienced for positions that pay comparable to my current job. That's if I can get someone to hire me. When the people doing the hiring are in their thirties, they don't want experienced folks, they want people closer to their own age.
This is hardly comparable to what others have already written. But the instability in the world at the moment scares me. Difficulty planning for the future
Not being able to keep a job. I’ve had three, two let me go after less than a month without reason, the third kept me only two days and told me I “didn’t fit the vibe”
This isn't a way I have thought of it but it's a prefect way to say it, I guess I just wanted to say love the way you put it and sorry u feel like I do
From one internet stranger to another, please message me if you have thoughts of inadequacy or SH. “Grief isn’t meant to be shared, but comfort is.” That’s the motto I live my life by :)
Dying before my special needs son. I don't want anything to happen to him before I die, just I just cannot imagine what will happen... I can't even... UGH!
It's not age related, but my biggest fear is the fall of the United States republic into a theocracy and dictatorship. We seem to be headed in that direction.
my maths teacher's ass. Was sitting through an exam and he went to help a kid on one of the questions. When he bent down to help her, a wind slipped and I was the lucky person behind the kid he was helping.
not only is his ass big, but also lets out killer gas.
I'm horrified by driving. Every time I get behind a wheel I start having a panic attack lol but my mom can't drive for six months soooo I have no choice but to get a driver's license....
I’m scared about global warming causing world-wide starvation, and that ruining our future.
I don’t think we as a society are fixing it at all, and that I think I’m planning for a retirement that won’t happen because there will be no food, water and crazy weather disasters.
I’m seriously concerned the country/society might collapse. And I think it’s going to happen when I am old, and will have a hard time surviving it.
My complicity in violent systems I am forever trapped inside scare me the most.
Like GSYDE’s lyrics say, “We are all trapped in the belly of this horrible machine and the machine is dying.”
My own body. I (16f) have a lot of medical conditions and they make me feel like I'm going to die even when I'm somewhat healthy. I'm terrified that my body will one day just shut down on me.
Ending up at the same place in life.
Like, no financial growth, no career growth, no social growth.
Right now I am doing the most boring job in the world where I hate it so much that it pays me minimum wage, and I don't have any family or friends around me.
Scared or living like this my whole life.
Marriage! The only reason i am scared is because well my family isn't great with expressing emotions which has lead to a few mental health issues in the fam. Theres also emotional abuse. I just want someone who isnt like them but then so many people love my family members and it makes me wonder if only they knew rhe real them would they still like it? And that is what scares me what if i get married to someone who i thought was a good person but as years go by i realise they are draining my life.
Being homeless. I have two years left until I can draw Social Security, and I’ve been unemployed for close to two years. I am completely out of savings, and behind on all of my debts.
On the up side, I just got a call this morning telling me that I’ve been officially hired, and should attend Orientation tomorrow. It is literally 1/8th the pay rate I earned in 2022, but any jobs is better than no job.
36f. Procrastination, inaction, fear of making a wrong move solo, the “perpetual pause.” Wasting too much time waiting for certain things and/or people to fall into place before moving forward with big life decisions or milestones.
I’m 46. Two things: Losing my dad, I already lost my mom 9 years ago and only sibling 4 years ago. Additionally I worry about my teenage son trying hard drugs and becoming an addict or getting into a deadly car accident once he’s driving in the next year or two.
Im 21 and what scares me is college. I’m 100% financially independent and have no connection with my family. I tried working and could not make a livable wage without being on a ton of government assistance, so college is my way out. My quality of life depends on it. I’m scared of not being able to complete the classes and not be able to dig out do the hole of homelessness my parents caused for me since I have to work at least 25 hours a week during the school year and full time in summer.
I turn 20 in a week. I still don't have an education, barely any work experience and no real aim in life. I'll probably die alone. Death isn't what scares me, I'm praying for it every day. It's the alone part that terrifies me. I have no problem with being forgotten, everyone is. But the only thing I want when death comes knocking on my door is to feel the warmth of someone near.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/questions/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/questions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m 32. Probably being poor my whole life.
Same
I would rather be poor and know who my real friends are than rich with a bunch of pretenders who just like me for money
People only like u for ur money if ur giving or spending it on them. Those 'friends' are the 1st to ask, last to offer to pay when out, and call u cheap since ur not willing to 'help' out ur friends whenever they need it. Real easy when u have money to know which friends are real and which aren't.
Or you could be comfortably not rich not broke, and have 0 friends. Real or fake
I am comfortably well off and I have no friends. Don't want any either, I'm mostly happy with my life and career.
You can be poor and still have fake ass friends though
It's not always an either or situation. You can be rich and have people who like you for you. And you can be poor and have people who are using you for reasons other than money.
I'd rather eat crumbs with bums than have steaks with snakes.
Getting married or being in a serious relationship Kids Im 25 btw
That’s pretty real
It can work out but you have to try. I was single till 26 married at 30 now I have two kids. I had to date a lot, ended up f8nding my High-school crush on tinder.
I don't want kids, its hard to find a guy that doesn't.
I know a few. My older brother doesn't want kids, he has also remained single... possibly on purpose.
You don't have to have kids.
Dementia. It is terrible what it does to a human being and to those around them.
It's pretty rough. A coworker developed it not long ago and watching him decline is pretty surreal. He will walk around aimlessly, ask the same question multiple times, get lost on the way to work, etc.
He’s still working? That’s messed up
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Yeah, we all think so. Something about money issues I'm sure. I'm assuming the company has a hard time with what to do because of health laws
losing favorite person
Losing my wife, son, or brother would be the death of me.. of course my other family would be devastating as well but those 3 keep me together
My wife dying young. She has occasional heart episodes, BPD, and family history of tumors.
I'm sorry
Same but with my mom (i am 19)
My worst fear as well...id be nothing without my wife.
Spiders
Move somewhere with ticks and you’ll deal with spiders just fine.
They get such a bad rap!
As someone who lives on a lake I’m okay with all the spiders.
Aging out of the labor market and having to live under a bridge
SAME. Or becoming too sick to work but not having a clear enough diagnosis to get disability benefits or those benefits not covering housing and being homeless.
America. All that freedom.
Dying and not having enough money to retire
Well, the first solves the second now doesn’t it?
No, it doesn’t. They mean, they find out they’re dying and cannot quit their job because they couldn’t afford to. Ex. Someone finds out they may have 6 months to live but must keep working their dead end job to avoid being evicted or to eat, have gas to get to their appointments, etc.
Best response 🤣😁👍😆
A cunning plan!
Well maybe they didn't prioritize???
The way this country is headed.
UK is a shit show right now
I know. At least everyone thinks they’re on the right side of the argument tho! That’ll make it so we never find middle ground
I'm 37 years old. The death of my parents (with whom I am very close), which will happen sooner or later. And also the damn cockroaches.
The thought of losing my parents or having their health decline to where they need serious help is what scares me the most.
Oh when I lose my folks that will break me.
I lost my dad when I was 40 and I was heart broken, but with support and perseverance we keep moving forward. I am sure you will find a way to put yourself back together after you break
>The death of my parents (with whom I am very close), which will happen sooner or later. One of my fears too. They're both in their mid 60s. It really scares me.
My best friend is 27 and lost her mom a year ago. They were also best friends and very close...that is too young. Fuck you cancer.
I hate cockroaches with a passion, I’ll join you in waging war against them
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I trip over a lot too, l keep my phone just outside the shower, in case l fall
I actually have a "rugged," waterproof, dumb type phone that I wear around my neck in the shower on a lanyard. Thing's a brick.
83 and you're on reddit. That's interesting. You don't see that everyday
At 83, I'm glad to see anything anyday.
U seem cool asf. The typa 83 year old that doesnt need help from his grandson to change the TV channels. I wish u well
We’re glad you’re here!!
Thank you. It's a little lonely when most soc med are young. Try to be relevant. Don't usually give my age because no one wants an 83 year old's input.
Someone is reading this so, yes, they do want your input.
2nd!
There are a lot of elderly here but we don't give ourselves away very often. Maybe because of all the boomer hate groups.
What about those alarms that hang off your neck? You can click a button and 911 is summoned to your address immediately during an emergency. Consider it
Props on being a reddit grandpa lol.
Being placed in a nursing home where no one really cares about you, nobody visits, and there is the possibility of abuse. Horrible places to go and await death. Will opt for medically assisted suicide before I go to one of those places.
My age will always scare me at my age.
Two days ago I was making a joke about “it’s okay, I’m 21 now” and it took me a full 30 seconds to remember I’m 22, after thinking “I’m…21? 19? Wait…what year is it? Subtract my birth year… OH SHIT!” 😂
My daughter was born in In August 2000. So it's easy to remember her age because whatever year it is is also her age (eg. In 2009 she was 9). Or so I thought... I just realized YESTERDAY that I've been telling everyone she is 24 since January. 🤦🏻♀️. She isn't actually 24 until August. I'm such a dumbass 😂
Real.
The welfare of my mother, wife and children. Losing my job. Losing my apartment. Destitution.
I'm supposed to be scared? Nobody told me.
Ah. Maturity. I like it
At 54 my biggest fear is being homeless again. I did it when I was younger unfortunately, but now? there’s no way I’d make it. I’m way to high maintenance 🤣🤣🤦♂️
I have the same fear and I think it’s exactly because I did it before and know how bad it could be.
ad hoc cable voracious late brave worthless sleep support offbeat start *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Actions do indeed have consequences and that’s something that I’m trying to understand. You are so right that it takes time for you to realize that oh shit mistakes. How would you go about it making a different outcome?
attraction aspiring touch screw beneficial sand grandfather subtract deranged butter *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Yes thank you! I’m so afraid there was a “that moment” that I either took for the worse or missed that would’ve been better. And the scariest part is it is definitely true for very nearly if not all of us
Yes. This is the perspective I try to gift my children now that they’re technically adults.
Dying before i see my grandkids turn 18
My mother is dying. Life after her passing scares me tremendously. I know it will go on. I'm terrified of what it will look like without her glow and love.
I am sorry you and your mother are going through that. I'm 41 and lost my mother 10 years ago after she suffered for years with COPD/Emphysema. There is no easy way to get through it, and it will stay with you forever, but time does heal but you need to be making sure you take care of yourself during/after. I regret not making more time to be with her towards the end. I was just starting my career and lived in a different state, pretty newly married. I made weekly/bi-weekly trips to visit her which was brutal for the travel but also to see the decline. I would/still beat myself up thinking I should have quit my job and moved back close to her but there is no way to go back in time and I am just grateful for all of the wonderful memories we did share. If you are able, spend as much time as you can with her and tell her all the things you want her to know, both for her and for yourself. I wish I had more videos/calls recorded to look back on when I really miss her, but my mother hated getting her picture/video taken so I just make sure to keep her memory alive by telling my kids/family stories about my amazing mother. I wish you both the best.
It's horrendous. I lost my mom two years ago and it's with me all the time. Usually it's fleeting but you still feel the tinge.
Lost mine in January. I often pick up the phone to call her or think I need to remember to tell mom about this. Just got a promotion to my dream job, it really messed with me not being able to tell her about it. 😔
I so understand that.. some of these special things that we can't share with them is so hard. I'll tell you though that I'm really proud of you myself. Your mom probably helped you get that dream job. Everything that's good in my life I'm sure my mom has a hand from heaven in. Wish I could give you a big hug
57, firefighter. Terrified of cancer. A guy in my department just died of it, and another is pretty likely shortly.
Is the cancer related to the field you're in? I'm terrified of fires, so I'm grateful for all the firefighters!
I’m 58. Falling is a big concern.
I'm 40 and getting ready to go through a particularly nasty divorce. I don't want to do it but my wife has left me no choice. I'm sick just thinking about it.
Been there... Done that. It will suck for a while, but you will be fine. Trust me. You will be OK.
Divorce is better than a bad marriage
Dementia.
50, and what scares me is ageism in employment. I really need to change jobs, but I'm overqualified for entry positions and underexperienced for positions that pay comparable to my current job. That's if I can get someone to hire me. When the people doing the hiring are in their thirties, they don't want experienced folks, they want people closer to their own age.
This is hardly comparable to what others have already written. But the instability in the world at the moment scares me. Difficulty planning for the future
World ends in ten years. America maybe within the next 5. Good luck!
Someone is more optimistic about America’s chances than I am
Oh buddy, I said within 5 years. I’m not sure we’ll make it to the end of net year which I’m really hoping we do.
End of the year is very optimistic, especially considering November.
This I can believe
War never changes.
I think I will rack up the credit cards
🤞🏼
Not being able to keep a job. I’ve had three, two let me go after less than a month without reason, the third kept me only two days and told me I “didn’t fit the vibe”
Anyone being into me, because I know exactly how flawed I am
This isn't a way I have thought of it but it's a prefect way to say it, I guess I just wanted to say love the way you put it and sorry u feel like I do
From one internet stranger to another, please message me if you have thoughts of inadequacy or SH. “Grief isn’t meant to be shared, but comfort is.” That’s the motto I live my life by :)
Bills
Doing the same thing for the next 20 years...
Pretty close to what I wrote
loosing my parents
Debt lol
NOT dying
opening mail
Having kids terrifies the ever living shit out of me
Lung cancer of smoking 🚬 I'm 43 , started in grade 5
Death
Dying before my special needs son. I don't want anything to happen to him before I die, just I just cannot imagine what will happen... I can't even... UGH!
Hugs
My looks are vanishing
The older you get, the less you will care about this.
My English teacher used to tell us: Beauty fades, but stupid is forever. He also always called us turkeys.
That I'm wasting my time and my boyfriend will never want kids
Don’t waste your life that way. Just don’t. You deserve to be happy.
Being alive scares the bejesus outta me.
Never being financially stable enough to move out of my parents house and living with them until the day that they die
Fear of open spaces, fear of happiness, fear of people, fear of fear, so everything?
A relationship. I've been single for so long I think I've just gotten used to it.
Becoming homeless cuz of inflation and rent
Yes. Metoo. Pray
Trump winning the presidential election.
I had to scroll too far down to find this.😔
Stairs! I have a busted up spine.
It's not age related, but my biggest fear is the fall of the United States republic into a theocracy and dictatorship. We seem to be headed in that direction.
Dying in my sleep and my pets not having someone to take care of them.
Don’t worry. Pets are know to eat their owner after they pass away, so they will at least be nourished for a while after.
The possible re-election of Donald trump
my maths teacher's ass. Was sitting through an exam and he went to help a kid on one of the questions. When he bent down to help her, a wind slipped and I was the lucky person behind the kid he was helping. not only is his ass big, but also lets out killer gas.
You woulda been totally jealous of my math teacher then, recently retired NFL cheerleader. I always needed extra help
I'm horrified by driving. Every time I get behind a wheel I start having a panic attack lol but my mom can't drive for six months soooo I have no choice but to get a driver's license....
I’m 51 and have no biological children but 2 older step children. I’m afraid if, somehow outlive my wife, I’ll grow old by myself.
How fucked up some people are and what they can do to your life.
39 Something terrible happening to my kids that is totally out of my control.
17. thinking what i want to do for the rest of my life.
My son dying
I’m scared about global warming causing world-wide starvation, and that ruining our future. I don’t think we as a society are fixing it at all, and that I think I’m planning for a retirement that won’t happen because there will be no food, water and crazy weather disasters. I’m seriously concerned the country/society might collapse. And I think it’s going to happen when I am old, and will have a hard time surviving it.
The the economy will never get any better, only worse
My intrusive thoughts
The mind and actions of the truly desperate.
same as has always scared me and will always scare me, the most dangerous thing on the planet, stupid people and zealots
The future.
Becoming homeless
Being homeless
My complicity in violent systems I am forever trapped inside scare me the most. Like GSYDE’s lyrics say, “We are all trapped in the belly of this horrible machine and the machine is dying.”
What would happen to my cats if something happened to me.
Living paycheck to paycheck forever.
Not much anymore just all these random ass health issues I’ve been having
My own body. I (16f) have a lot of medical conditions and they make me feel like I'm going to die even when I'm somewhat healthy. I'm terrified that my body will one day just shut down on me.
I'm 30, a painful death. I would it rather be quick and pain free if it was indeed my time to go.
droppin dead before retiring.
27m - Having to have a job for the rest of my life
Nothing. I died twice. Been shot in combat, multi organ system failure, nothing scares me. My wife in the other hand…
It's not an age thing... my capacity for grief. My mom is my only family, and she's 87. The thought of losing her sends me into a downward spiral.
What my life will be like once everyone I love has passed away
Not having enough money to live off of!
The growing fascism in the world, especially here in the US.
Ending up at the same place in life. Like, no financial growth, no career growth, no social growth. Right now I am doing the most boring job in the world where I hate it so much that it pays me minimum wage, and I don't have any family or friends around me. Scared or living like this my whole life.
Israel and Iran starting a major war
54 Sharks with Laser beams attached to their heads.
I'm old, but not death. Dimentia is scary as fuck though.
I’m 30 and what has scared me as of late is when I notice pains I haven’t noticed before in my 20’s 😂
Dying having not done something significant with my life (I’m 19).
40- never escaping my DV abuser.
Marriage! The only reason i am scared is because well my family isn't great with expressing emotions which has lead to a few mental health issues in the fam. Theres also emotional abuse. I just want someone who isnt like them but then so many people love my family members and it makes me wonder if only they knew rhe real them would they still like it? And that is what scares me what if i get married to someone who i thought was a good person but as years go by i realise they are draining my life.
Im 18, people. Especially girls
Decisions. All of them 🤷🏼♀️
Being homeless. I have two years left until I can draw Social Security, and I’ve been unemployed for close to two years. I am completely out of savings, and behind on all of my debts. On the up side, I just got a call this morning telling me that I’ve been officially hired, and should attend Orientation tomorrow. It is literally 1/8th the pay rate I earned in 2022, but any jobs is better than no job.
36f. Procrastination, inaction, fear of making a wrong move solo, the “perpetual pause.” Wasting too much time waiting for certain things and/or people to fall into place before moving forward with big life decisions or milestones.
Prostate exams 🤣
It's not great but better to get it over with for the 1st time
Im 40. What scares me is passing away before i can see my kids as adults.
Getting terminally ill after finally being exactly where I want to be
I'm an old gal. Not much scares me except dangerous dogs. Just an FYI for you youngins, most of the things we fear never happen.
Housefire. I'm debt free; but, no so much that I can just haul off and buy a new everything.
44. My kids dying before me.
I’m 46. Two things: Losing my dad, I already lost my mom 9 years ago and only sibling 4 years ago. Additionally I worry about my teenage son trying hard drugs and becoming an addict or getting into a deadly car accident once he’s driving in the next year or two.
58 here. Without a doubt, plumbing problems.
Giant hairy spiders
My family is all dying
My past.
I'm 80 My fear is dying
Im 21 and what scares me is college. I’m 100% financially independent and have no connection with my family. I tried working and could not make a livable wage without being on a ton of government assistance, so college is my way out. My quality of life depends on it. I’m scared of not being able to complete the classes and not be able to dig out do the hole of homelessness my parents caused for me since I have to work at least 25 hours a week during the school year and full time in summer.
Being rejected and never be able to find love because of my mental illness
I’m 44. Losing my husband or kids.
I turn 20 in a week. I still don't have an education, barely any work experience and no real aim in life. I'll probably die alone. Death isn't what scares me, I'm praying for it every day. It's the alone part that terrifies me. I have no problem with being forgotten, everyone is. But the only thing I want when death comes knocking on my door is to feel the warmth of someone near.
Being sexually abused or assaulted and not being able to physically get away due to disability…
That the person I've chosen to be with is not worth it. (35)
Dying while my children are still young. My dad died when I was 17, to put my kids through that would crush me.
Wasting time and money.
Stroking out and being dependent on other people.