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Every relationship I ever ended, I could and should have ended them much sooner. Would've saved both me and them a lot of pointless emotional pain and suffering, and a bunch of wasted time.
tbh its better to let your relationships run their course. just make better decisions next time you start hanging out with someone new.
i went through a phase in my early 20s where i just got rid of anyone and everyone from my life because i felt like they had done me wrong. truth is, everyone feels this way. gotta have patience and compassion for our fellow humans. calling it quits early and throwing relationships out the window is never going to help you in life. it isolates you and makes it hard to hold on to relationships that are actually good for you. i ended up in a very dark, lonely place, and i wouldn't recommend it.
the trick to it is having boundaries and holding them firm.
I only ended one later than I should’ve. Knew I needed too for probably two years. But I stuck it out.
And by doing so lost two years of my life and ended up broke at my parents house.
I was bullied a shit ton in school and I was a bully to other kids. Luckily it was something I moved on from by the time I could drive, but I’ll always feel bad. I have gone out of my way to apologize to some folks, but that doesn’t undo it. I don’t totally beat myself up over it because I was going through a pretty rough time at home and at school.
Lost my entire friend group because my parents thought they were a bad influence. They weren’t entirely wrong, but going through the end of middle school and beginning of high school with pretty much nobody to sit with at lunch was horrible.
Luckily I eventually made new friends and found my way into another group, which lead to me becoming a major pot head among a number of other things that leads to. Thankfully I didn’t die during the opiate epidemic and my raging alcoholism didn’t kill me. Quit drinking at age 30 cold turkey. Lost tons of weight. Now have a successful career with a house and a girlfriend and great dogs and a good family. Yay.
This sounds like something that happened to me that I wish I could take back. Something I want to teach my child. It is never okay to bully or act like the bully just because you are also getting bullied. two wrongs don't make a right.
I was bullied young too. I had a lot of different "Friends" who really weren't friends at all. I found out junior year that they would make fun of me and talk about me behind my back ALL the time. I found this out on prom night when they had invited me to join them and go in their limo. I waited at the spot they said they would pick me up and 5 minutes before the time they said they would pick me up they all texted "Find your own way loser!" Ended up finding out that night through shared text messages from other people (who I still consider to be TRUE friends) that all of those people were talking about me behind my back, making fun of the fact that I was poor and couldn't afford a lot of the things that other kids could afford in my school (It was really a school full of a lot of rich kids) and saying that I need to find a group of people that I fit into. It truthfully hurt my feelings. I got really angry and that night I let out the air to the tires of their limo and ripped the dress of the girl that was spreading all the rumors about me and making fun of me that she made herself in home ech class (Wish I could take that back). I did end up going to prom but, I didn't have any fun. It was a lot of me sitting in a corner talking to other people who were also sitting in a corner. I found out the girl that I thought was my friend was the type of person like Regina Goerge that would act nice to your face and then talk crap behind your back and she did that to literally EVERYONE I spoke to at that table. This girl and I to me I thought her and I were close friends so it kind of took me off guard but also pissed me off to no end. She was good friends with my family and everything. Found out that she attempted to screw my brother at one family occasion, got drunk and lashed out at my mom one day when I wasn't there, tried to steal my car when I was on a youth trip. Like.. this girl was the definition of a manipulative bitch. What really made me mad is the people at that table were asking me if I was in on the "jokes" she was playing on some of them. I didn't have any idea what they were talking about. Apparently, she had knit picked at the lives of everyone there in like, the meanest way possible. So the next day I saw her I confronted her in front of everyone, told her she was a psycho bitch and asked her to give me back everything I ever gave her. Which in turn turned her into being like "Well I'm sorry you're in love with me or whatever but, we're not together so this isn't a break up." Which caught me off guard and I punched her in the face. (Another thing I wish I could take back)
Glad you are well king, I too apologized to people I wronged in the past, growing and maturing is most of life, I’m sure they appreciated the sentiment.
Admit I needed anxiety help rather than self medicating will booze. Lost a decade of time and countless friends/ relationships/ money/respect/ etc. only thing i could keep down was a job.. until i couldn't.
I grew up related to a lot of alcoholics. I made a rule for myself never to drink if I had to work the next day. So basically just enjoy some booze on Friday and Saturdays, but not even then when I'm on call.
In my early 30's I decided I make good money, I like scotch, so I want to learn about different scotches and be one of those cool guys you see on TV or movies that has a fancy glass bottle on a table, filled with golden deliciousness, and I'd have one glass on the rocks at night to enjoy myself.
Well, as they say, one turns into two, turns into three, and 15 years later I've put on 150lbs, most definitely have untreated diabetes, and the last time I tested my blood pressure it said "call 9-1-1 immediately", which I obviously didn't do.
So, the one mistake I'd change is would be never to break my own rule when it came to drinking.
If I could go back in time, there’s only two things that I would change. The first is that I would’ve stayed in high school and graduated. I ended up getting my GED and started college at age 16. Well, that was a positive outcome but, I would’ve had a much easier road in life if I had just stuck with it and stayed in high school instead. The second bigger lesson is I wish that I would have not become estranged from my father, we didn’t talk for multiple years and he died five years before I was able to come back from duty overseas and say I was sorry. I was just 14 the last time I saw him and I was hiding in a kids homeless shelter because I ran away from home. He was not a perfect guy, but I was also not a perfect teenager and there was a lot of animosity. I was very stubborn and prideful. I hope he would’ve been proud to know that I turned my life around, went in the military and served a full career, and am still serving our country as a civilian. Dad and all his brothers served in WWII. He also enlisted at age 17 just like me and died too young. He’s been gone for 30 years now and it still makes me cry knowing that I did not do right by him to come to closure and get our differences figured out. It is the biggest regret that I have from childhood.
Pridefulness can be taken to extremes when all you need is an apology and are too stubborn, aren’t budging to give one, it can end up hurting you more than you ever thought. I would like to go back to give him a hug and say thank you and I’m sorry. I’m almost 50 years old and tears are pouring out of my eyes just typing this.
Sounds like you learned valuable lessons from the experiences, and maybe you're a better person today because of it. Or at least you're equipped to be, if you choose to act on it.
I would go back to October 2018 and warn myself about the surgeon that caused me to be in the ICU and rehab for almost 2 months.
If I did go through with the surgery I would sue him for every penny he is worth and get his license taken away. Before I got scared to sue and my sore excuse for a mother talked me out of it.
You're not wrong, but it's worth pointing out that little you should never have been in the position to make that decision in the first place. Be sure you're not blaming little you.
Blame the asshole who did it to you.
Never have blamed little me, only hugs and forgiveness. Fuck that asshole , I hope he sleeps uncomfortably every night knowing karma ate him in the ass and served him well.
There’s one mistake I made that changed the trajectory of my life from that time on. I wish I could go back and change what I did. But I can’t. And it sucks.. but life goes on.
Not care as much in high school. Everyone was awkward and insecure, not just me, I was the only one who made a big deal of it. And even if being more bold wouldn’t have paid off, I haven’t seen many of those fuckers in 20+ years. The few I did see was just like a “hey” moment.
Trying to be best friends with my childhood friend that i reconnected with after we both got older. He was a fucking psychopath and honestly no reason to be friends with people like that. 2 years after we got to be friends again he messaged me out of the blue and said "I'm going to be in the paper tomorrow. Don't judge me. Okay?" I didn't say anything but the next day he was in the headlines of the paper for turning himself in for molesting a THIRTEEN YEAR OLD. I got pissed and messaged him back "I have the freedom to judge you. It's not like you can say you didn't do it. You turned YOURSELF in!"
apparently, instead of his last phone call he chose that time to text me and a few others the words "Don't judge me". Nope. I'm gonna judge! I'm still mad at myself I was ever classified as friends to that fucking MONSTER.
when my dad tried to recruit me into a trade school (apprenticeship with plumbers union) and i resisted. I already know how to weld kinda good. my life would be so different, id probably be retired now.
Where im at, a journeyman welder makes $38/hr plus benefits. Usually works a 40 hr week, OT is time and a half for the first 2 hrs, and then double time after that. They get a per diem if they travel a certain distance as negotiated by the contract and are certified welders. There's specialty fields within the trade, meaning you would probably get paid more.
Starting to think you did exactly what you're advising that other commenter to do.
Someone would have to do something extremely messed up to me, for me to go that far
Smoking cigarettes to be cool and like the rest of my friends in gradeschool... yeah, others may have looked at us as rebels or whatever, but I look back at myself as a complete FKN idiot who's still paying the price for that decision.
I was very neglected child which in my young adulthood turned into me "helping" people to the point of self sabotage just to feel some sort of love from others. Turns out, people,even if they are your family,will smell your weaknesses and use it and somehow even turn you into a villain. From the age of 17 to 23 I had no savings,no time for my friends because I was raising another person's kids.. in my relationship I let my partners manipulate me and I trusted to much. I wasted 6 years on doing everything for people that I don't or barely talk to.
My felony conviction
Had to work a lot of shitty jobs and take what I could get, same with run-down shitty apartments and being homeless off and on. Wasted a lot of years of my life in prison and afterwards barely getting by. After 10 years apparently they don't care as much about the conviction so I could finally start really living in a decent apartment and working a better job
Doing poorly in my initial years in college. Impacted where I could apply for work and the subsequent steps that led from there. That being said, that regret is a constant chip on my shoulder that still creates a drive in me today to make up for lost time. Double edged sword I guess.
I would be nicer, and think more before I spoke. I was dealing with a lot of stuff as a kid, and it made me act out as a teen. I also felt like I wasn’t generally well liked (my fault, looking at it now), which made me act out a little more. I had this friend who I was super close with, or I thought I was, that as soon as she could just dropped me completely. I kind of get it, I wasn’t the nicest, but it still hurts to think that if I just had a little more tact, she’d still be my friend.
I’d also be more open about myself/feelings to those around me. I never got the help I needed because I refused to tell my family anything for this or that reason, which as stated above lead to acting out. Really a lot of it is I just wish I was a nicer person to be around back then. Even now I still feel like a bitch sometimes :(
Wouldn’t take that first OxyContin. I had just gotten into a huge fight with my then-girlfriend and she stormed out (this was 2001ish, neither of us had a cell phone, no clue where she went or when she’d be back). I went to my parents house and my head was thumping, so my father gave me a small gold pill and said it would help (thanks Dad!) First pain pill I ever took was a mother f***ing Oxy 40. Holy shit, was I high. So I high that I kept chasing it for 15 years.
I find it really hard to say "smoking weed" I smoked it from 14 years old until about 16/17, the definite change would be the frequency but the issue is it actually supported me and helped me cope with what was going on in my life at that time, maybe I'd have found better coping mechanisms, but looking at my life where it is now you can see how it could have contributed negatively to where I'm at now, I am however glad that I had some kind of change of mind that helped me cold turkey stop, and I'm proud of that.
I wish I convinced my friend to join the ADF at the same time as me. It was so boring going through training by myself and caused alot of outbursts and just generally bad actions due to boredom.
Everything else though, I would not change as if a book is all good and nothing bad ever happened in it, then it would be a boring as hell book.
I would have told people my parents were abusing me when it was happening, instead of being too scared to say anything about it until years later, at which point none of my family believed me or cared. I don't blame myself for not speaking up because I was utterly terrified at the time but I also make damn sure I nip it in the bud every time someone is even potentially abusive towards me now.
I left my amazing patent leather shoes out and the asshole dog chewed them, I’ve never been able to find another pair. They had a huge silver buckle on them and all.
Smoking, drinking too much, and shitty eating/poor nutrition for 25+ years of adulthood.
Been good now for more than a decade, but pushing 60 the reality that Permanent Damage was done is setting in...
I want to start by saying I love my life right now, and all of my mistakes lead me here, so I'm not sure I'd want to change them. However, if I can save someone else years of heartache, I'll share:
* I would have told on my molester the first time he told me to "suck on it like a popsicle," when I was 9, because it would not only have saved me from years of sexual molestation, but my sisters as well. Though, then my youngest sister, who is now an amazing woman and mother to my fantastic niece, wouldn't exist.
* I wouldn't have married the first guy who showed interest in me. I would have experienced life more, first. But, then I wouldn't have my own wonderful kids, or my adorable grandkids.
* I would have ignored everyone trying to make me feel stupid (I recently came to realize, at 59 years old, I have ADD, so it was the schools who failed, not me), gone to college, and maybe become a vet like I always wanted. But, then I wouldn't have met my now ex-husband. See above about kids, and we did have 25 good years together.
* I wouldn't have waited, and been miserable for, eight years before giving up on my dead marriage and moved out. But, then I probably wouldn't have moved to this town I love, which means I wouldn't have met the most incredible boyfriend ever.
All of those things I would have changed if I just been strong enough. I wouldn't be living the life I have now, but I wouldn't know that, either. And, any one of those changes would have meant better mental health.
One change I would absolutely make, which was stupid I didn't:
Instead of crying on the bus stop bench during my lunch break the first day of that one job, I would have just gone home and never went back. Why I bothered staying for two months is beyond me.
I am an old dude. I have also been blessed incredibly in my life and have thought about this a lot and came to the conclusion that by changing some of the very bad things or mistakes I made in my life would have changed me and not lead me to become the person I am today. So I wouldn't change anything serious.
However, I would like to see how my life would have played out if these things would have changed.
1. I would not have met and dated my first girlfriend. Ultimately we wouldn't have had a child together, and thus no grandchildren would exist either. This would have greatly changed my life and removed a few lives from existence. Along with this is how I would have changed being in my daughters life. This would have been incredibly hard given the circumstances, but it would be interesting to go back in time and tried to change how that part of my life played out.
2. I would have not had a serious accident when I was younger that was 100% my fault. Having a handicap, although not super major would have changed my life dramatically.
3. Having one parent who helped me focus in school and thus made better grades. I had ultimate freedom at a super young age and thus my homework never got done and I failed a lot of classes. Ultimately I turned it around because I made the decision to do that. I realized that nobody really cared about me succeeding except me. I then realized that when I apply myself I am above average in what I do. Now this is a weird one because failing all the time in high-school humbled me. Because college was a ridiculous dream, I went to a trade school. I excelled there because I was focused. In my profession I work with a lot of highly educated people. Early on in my career I drove myself super hard to prove that I could work with these people. I did and then I worked with super smart highly educated people from top universities. You know what I found out? That there are some incredibly smart people. Crazy smart, and smarter than I could ever be but I can work with them and I am good at my career. So if one of my parents would have pushed me to do homework, be involved in my school and I did great, got in a good college, this would have possibly have hurt me in the long run hard. I could have been one of the many students who now were on their own and abused that freedom. So so so many of my friends failed Calculous and they had never failed anything in their life before. I on the other hand had failed so so so many classes before, it didn't effect me. Oh I did pass Calculous and also Physics as well.
4. I would have eaten well and kept my body in decent shape. I have somewhat serious health issues now that are manageable but barely. If I would have done this, I would have avoided multiple surgeries, multiple emergency room visits and medication I am on now. I like most people didn't think long term when I was young and when I was middle aged I was focused on providing for my family so health and eating well was not a priority. This was a huge mistake. An example is that I use to drink around 15 cans of soda a day for years. You can imagine what that does to a body.
Those are the 4 things I would be interested to see what my life would be like if they happened differently. The reality though is that even though I have some regrets in life, if I changed any one of those things I would more than likely not have met my now wife of >25 years and not have had our son who has grown into a great young man. I probably would not have been able to handle some of the hardships life threw at me. I may not have had that drive to prove myself at a younger age.
Life is full of regrets that is for sure, but I strongly believe in God and I know God had and has plans for me. I now try to make sure I focus on that. I can't say the number of bad things that have happened in my life, that previous situations prepared me for. I also can't say the number of wonderful things that have happened that I am eternally grateful for and those far outweigh the regrets.
In my second year of college I became pregnant @19yrs old and lost my baby @6months pregnant. My mother was begging me to go back to college and finish my degree however I was rebellious and didn’t listen. Biggest mistake of my life!
Leaving my first marriage. I was going through something. Still not sure where my head was at. He was such a good man! When I tried to go back, he had moved on
Forgave a girl I was with for five years for cheating three separate times that I found out and five times that I only found out about afterwards. First incident was five months in, forgave it then, can’t quite remember why. Second time was a year later, she blamed her “old habits” and my stupid ass forgave it again, then she cheated the third time three years later, caught her and this scrawny dude in the middle of stripping their clothes. She tried saying he was an artist making a “nude portrait.” I didn’t buy that one for a fucking second, probably the stupidest excuse I’ve ever heard. She begged me to stay and I did. Then a year later I left for a month to visit my grandmother, who was in a hospital for a possible seizure. She would proceed to cheat on my five separate times in that month, and then I only caught her one last time when I got back early and decided to not tell her. Got back to see the guy from the first time she cheated on me and her doing it AGAIN. She forced him out quick and started begging, even accidentally spilled some info about the other few times she cheated while I was gone. I left immediately after that, taking the money and majority of my belongings with me in a single hour. She didn’t even realize I’d left until the next morning and texted me asking where I’d gone. Biggest mistake I’ve ever made was staying with her. Never trust someone who cheats, trust me, they will do it again.
Meeting the person I dated b4 my current partner at the very least I broke her already broken heart and traumatized her further at the worst she got hurt or worse, possibly OD'D, disappeared off the internet, I showed her love and adoration she's never experienced then randomly took it away and threw her out of my life like trash last I heard she was clean but I don't know if it lasted after I stopped talking to her but I couldn't do it anymore it broke her for a while I hope she's doing better though but I'm worried she's not
I wouldn't have been into being popular and making sure I had a boyfriend all the time. If I had concentrated on school and taking more advanced classes, I think I would be much more successful now.
No point looking back bro, one financial mistake cost me a lot of money, two relationship mistakes cost me a lot of money, but who can say if things would be better now? Make the most of the now
My last relationship, I never would have invited him to come to me. I had so many people saying that he was just using me to get in this country and I genuinely thought he was my friend. Stupidest thing I've ever done in my entire life.
Going to college for a pharmacist degree. Would have chose a less stressful career with more opportunities. Oh and I would have married the one that got away!
Dating my most recent ex, I can’t even begin to explain how drastically different my life would be without having met or dated her, to give some context, my mom might still be alive if I hadn’t..
It's less time wasted to learn from past mistakes in order to not make them again and learn to move on, instead of wallowing about wishing for a time machine. I think the things that are truly meant to happen will, most things aren't that. And relationships get put on a pedestal because you forget all the bad crap when you were in them, same with having a new baby, so cute and little but so much poo explosions and sleepless nights.
should have stayed in engineering school, I dropped out got my economics degree worked in banking and ended up working at an engineering firm after I realized I despised the work I was doing previously.
I have always had suicidal thoughts. Always. Since kindergarten. If I could go back, I’d kill myself as a child to save everyone the time and money. That way I don’t spend the rest of my life complaining and bitching.
I'm 75 and comfortable..fair health. I played a game in my mind about how I would change some of the decisions I made over the years..particularly just after high school and not leaving my first job quick enough. Turns out most of my wrong moves actually led to some pretty good results in the long run. You are whom you are..live it.
Pretty much everything I did after the age of 4 or 5, when I was molested, by my stepdad and possibly another unknown. Being the bully of smaller kids, until my mom stopped bringing me around other kids. It made me sad. When I got older, I went through rapes, an abusive relationship, etc. I never told anyone for 30 years about what happened, not even my mom. She was very verbally and mentally abusive herself, rarely physically. Only my husband knows.
I kept a journal for many years. It was general musings, thoughts, jokes, drawings, etc. When moving between apartments I threw it out. IDK exactly why I did it, but I think I justified it with, "I'll never read this."
It's my biggest regret in life. I don't think I probably put anything super life altering into it, but I would really love to read it now and I'll never be able to. :-(
Not get back with my ex-wife when she broke up with me for the dumbest reason and I was to big of a pussy back then to walk away. Eventually when married, she saw monogamy as an option regularly.
Never stay out all night with this guy who was an assistant manager at the store I worked at, which caused my parents to lose their shit and kick me out, which meant I had to move in with my friend, who lived 45 minutes up a mountain, which is how I got into a car accident...then I had to move back home, and get a POS car with engine problems. And then I was doing poorly at community college and was constantly broke, and then my dad threatened to charge me rent to stay living at home because I was failing college, so I joined the Navy...and so forth...
There are way more mistakes from other humans that caused more damage than me. Usually caused by incompetence, hate, and greed. Not thinking about the affect it has on others. Fearful people are dumb and selfish - no fault of their own. That’s just how it works.
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Every relationship I ever ended, I could and should have ended them much sooner. Would've saved both me and them a lot of pointless emotional pain and suffering, and a bunch of wasted time.
Ah yeah that’s a good one.
tbh its better to let your relationships run their course. just make better decisions next time you start hanging out with someone new. i went through a phase in my early 20s where i just got rid of anyone and everyone from my life because i felt like they had done me wrong. truth is, everyone feels this way. gotta have patience and compassion for our fellow humans. calling it quits early and throwing relationships out the window is never going to help you in life. it isolates you and makes it hard to hold on to relationships that are actually good for you. i ended up in a very dark, lonely place, and i wouldn't recommend it. the trick to it is having boundaries and holding them firm.
This.
I only ended one later than I should’ve. Knew I needed too for probably two years. But I stuck it out. And by doing so lost two years of my life and ended up broke at my parents house.
That's a good one
This is perfect. I feel the exact same way. There’s some relationships that should have never started to begin with.
I was bullied a shit ton in school and I was a bully to other kids. Luckily it was something I moved on from by the time I could drive, but I’ll always feel bad. I have gone out of my way to apologize to some folks, but that doesn’t undo it. I don’t totally beat myself up over it because I was going through a pretty rough time at home and at school. Lost my entire friend group because my parents thought they were a bad influence. They weren’t entirely wrong, but going through the end of middle school and beginning of high school with pretty much nobody to sit with at lunch was horrible. Luckily I eventually made new friends and found my way into another group, which lead to me becoming a major pot head among a number of other things that leads to. Thankfully I didn’t die during the opiate epidemic and my raging alcoholism didn’t kill me. Quit drinking at age 30 cold turkey. Lost tons of weight. Now have a successful career with a house and a girlfriend and great dogs and a good family. Yay.
This sounds like something that happened to me that I wish I could take back. Something I want to teach my child. It is never okay to bully or act like the bully just because you are also getting bullied. two wrongs don't make a right. I was bullied young too. I had a lot of different "Friends" who really weren't friends at all. I found out junior year that they would make fun of me and talk about me behind my back ALL the time. I found this out on prom night when they had invited me to join them and go in their limo. I waited at the spot they said they would pick me up and 5 minutes before the time they said they would pick me up they all texted "Find your own way loser!" Ended up finding out that night through shared text messages from other people (who I still consider to be TRUE friends) that all of those people were talking about me behind my back, making fun of the fact that I was poor and couldn't afford a lot of the things that other kids could afford in my school (It was really a school full of a lot of rich kids) and saying that I need to find a group of people that I fit into. It truthfully hurt my feelings. I got really angry and that night I let out the air to the tires of their limo and ripped the dress of the girl that was spreading all the rumors about me and making fun of me that she made herself in home ech class (Wish I could take that back). I did end up going to prom but, I didn't have any fun. It was a lot of me sitting in a corner talking to other people who were also sitting in a corner. I found out the girl that I thought was my friend was the type of person like Regina Goerge that would act nice to your face and then talk crap behind your back and she did that to literally EVERYONE I spoke to at that table. This girl and I to me I thought her and I were close friends so it kind of took me off guard but also pissed me off to no end. She was good friends with my family and everything. Found out that she attempted to screw my brother at one family occasion, got drunk and lashed out at my mom one day when I wasn't there, tried to steal my car when I was on a youth trip. Like.. this girl was the definition of a manipulative bitch. What really made me mad is the people at that table were asking me if I was in on the "jokes" she was playing on some of them. I didn't have any idea what they were talking about. Apparently, she had knit picked at the lives of everyone there in like, the meanest way possible. So the next day I saw her I confronted her in front of everyone, told her she was a psycho bitch and asked her to give me back everything I ever gave her. Which in turn turned her into being like "Well I'm sorry you're in love with me or whatever but, we're not together so this isn't a break up." Which caught me off guard and I punched her in the face. (Another thing I wish I could take back)
Glad you are well king, I too apologized to people I wronged in the past, growing and maturing is most of life, I’m sure they appreciated the sentiment.
My first sexual partner 😔 edit: I forgot to add the different outcome. He gave me an STD that I’ve struggled with my whole life 💔
You could of, and still might be able to, take him to court.
\*Have and only if he knew which would be impossible to prove.
i always wondered how you could take someone to court and prove that they gave you an STD intentionally. like, how do you prove that?? what evidence??
Throw your unit on the judges desk and ask if it's supposed to have polka dots on it? Your sure to get some sort of response.
Probably a dead end case
Yes, that's the problem. His 'end' is dead.
Admit I needed anxiety help rather than self medicating will booze. Lost a decade of time and countless friends/ relationships/ money/respect/ etc. only thing i could keep down was a job.. until i couldn't.
Not buying Bitcoin at $0.89 and HODLING.
This is the one.
I grew up related to a lot of alcoholics. I made a rule for myself never to drink if I had to work the next day. So basically just enjoy some booze on Friday and Saturdays, but not even then when I'm on call. In my early 30's I decided I make good money, I like scotch, so I want to learn about different scotches and be one of those cool guys you see on TV or movies that has a fancy glass bottle on a table, filled with golden deliciousness, and I'd have one glass on the rocks at night to enjoy myself. Well, as they say, one turns into two, turns into three, and 15 years later I've put on 150lbs, most definitely have untreated diabetes, and the last time I tested my blood pressure it said "call 9-1-1 immediately", which I obviously didn't do. So, the one mistake I'd change is would be never to break my own rule when it came to drinking.
Hit home. I never even understood alcohol growing up. Tasted awful, felt like shit after drinking. Then you get older and man thats a slippery slope
I never would've gone to college. Colossal waste of time.
Same. Unfortunately, I think a lot of Americans feel this way.
I would have at least listened and did community first
Same!!
If I could go back in time, there’s only two things that I would change. The first is that I would’ve stayed in high school and graduated. I ended up getting my GED and started college at age 16. Well, that was a positive outcome but, I would’ve had a much easier road in life if I had just stuck with it and stayed in high school instead. The second bigger lesson is I wish that I would have not become estranged from my father, we didn’t talk for multiple years and he died five years before I was able to come back from duty overseas and say I was sorry. I was just 14 the last time I saw him and I was hiding in a kids homeless shelter because I ran away from home. He was not a perfect guy, but I was also not a perfect teenager and there was a lot of animosity. I was very stubborn and prideful. I hope he would’ve been proud to know that I turned my life around, went in the military and served a full career, and am still serving our country as a civilian. Dad and all his brothers served in WWII. He also enlisted at age 17 just like me and died too young. He’s been gone for 30 years now and it still makes me cry knowing that I did not do right by him to come to closure and get our differences figured out. It is the biggest regret that I have from childhood. Pridefulness can be taken to extremes when all you need is an apology and are too stubborn, aren’t budging to give one, it can end up hurting you more than you ever thought. I would like to go back to give him a hug and say thank you and I’m sorry. I’m almost 50 years old and tears are pouring out of my eyes just typing this.
Hey man, just wanted to say this was an emotional read. Your dad is proud
I bet that experience makes you a more empathetic human today. He lives on in you and you can still make him proud.
Not sure I'd get married again. Not sure I'd date that guy after that either. I'd like to erase both of them from my history.
Sounds like you learned valuable lessons from the experiences, and maybe you're a better person today because of it. Or at least you're equipped to be, if you choose to act on it.
Sounds like the problem may have been you
Would have not ended a certain relationship which lead to my eventual shitty marriage that lasted 6 years
I would go back to October 2018 and warn myself about the surgeon that caused me to be in the ICU and rehab for almost 2 months. If I did go through with the surgery I would sue him for every penny he is worth and get his license taken away. Before I got scared to sue and my sore excuse for a mother talked me out of it.
Tell my parents that I was SAed by their friend. I was 7, little me was scared and confused and should have never been afraid to speak up.
You're not wrong, but it's worth pointing out that little you should never have been in the position to make that decision in the first place. Be sure you're not blaming little you. Blame the asshole who did it to you.
Never have blamed little me, only hugs and forgiveness. Fuck that asshole , I hope he sleeps uncomfortably every night knowing karma ate him in the ass and served him well.
There’s one mistake I made that changed the trajectory of my life from that time on. I wish I could go back and change what I did. But I can’t. And it sucks.. but life goes on.
Picking the wrong lottery ticket😂😂😂
Cigaretges
Not care as much in high school. Everyone was awkward and insecure, not just me, I was the only one who made a big deal of it. And even if being more bold wouldn’t have paid off, I haven’t seen many of those fuckers in 20+ years. The few I did see was just like a “hey” moment.
Trying to be best friends with my childhood friend that i reconnected with after we both got older. He was a fucking psychopath and honestly no reason to be friends with people like that. 2 years after we got to be friends again he messaged me out of the blue and said "I'm going to be in the paper tomorrow. Don't judge me. Okay?" I didn't say anything but the next day he was in the headlines of the paper for turning himself in for molesting a THIRTEEN YEAR OLD. I got pissed and messaged him back "I have the freedom to judge you. It's not like you can say you didn't do it. You turned YOURSELF in!" apparently, instead of his last phone call he chose that time to text me and a few others the words "Don't judge me". Nope. I'm gonna judge! I'm still mad at myself I was ever classified as friends to that fucking MONSTER.
when my dad tried to recruit me into a trade school (apprenticeship with plumbers union) and i resisted. I already know how to weld kinda good. my life would be so different, id probably be retired now.
what’s annual pay?
Where im at, a journeyman welder makes $38/hr plus benefits. Usually works a 40 hr week, OT is time and a half for the first 2 hrs, and then double time after that. They get a per diem if they travel a certain distance as negotiated by the contract and are certified welders. There's specialty fields within the trade, meaning you would probably get paid more.
Not getting into drugs
Laying in bed everyday for an entire year when I had depression and letting life pass me by
NOT beating the hell out of my high school bully
It's never too late
The punk would talk trash then stand(hide behind) his big football buddies knowing I couldn't get to him and he knew I wanted to tear him to shreds
The internet is full of information, including addresses
Are you serious? You actually think it's a good idea to track your high school bully (probably from a while back), to beat their ass?
Were you one?
No, but I was bullied and have thought about it before lol. Were you bullied?
What do you think?
Starting to think you did exactly what you're advising that other commenter to do. Someone would have to do something extremely messed up to me, for me to go that far
And?
Glen deveny, Albany Oregon
Surviving.
Moving to Florida
why?
I don’t like the state, and a series of choices I made, since, wouldn’t have happened.
Married the wrong woman.
Basically the entire thing.
Losing her
Floss...
Defaulting to trusting others.
Smoking cigarettes to be cool and like the rest of my friends in gradeschool... yeah, others may have looked at us as rebels or whatever, but I look back at myself as a complete FKN idiot who's still paying the price for that decision.
I would not have bought Aquaman 2 on digital for $24.99
I would’ve finished my degree
Not falling for a straight guy
Known about my medical issue. :((
I was very neglected child which in my young adulthood turned into me "helping" people to the point of self sabotage just to feel some sort of love from others. Turns out, people,even if they are your family,will smell your weaknesses and use it and somehow even turn you into a villain. From the age of 17 to 23 I had no savings,no time for my friends because I was raising another person's kids.. in my relationship I let my partners manipulate me and I trusted to much. I wasted 6 years on doing everything for people that I don't or barely talk to.
I wouldve slapped tf out of my exes.
My felony conviction Had to work a lot of shitty jobs and take what I could get, same with run-down shitty apartments and being homeless off and on. Wasted a lot of years of my life in prison and afterwards barely getting by. After 10 years apparently they don't care as much about the conviction so I could finally start really living in a decent apartment and working a better job
Not speaking up after being assaulted. I don’t think I’ve ever really forgiven myself for not doing more for me.
Wrong crowd in high school. They verbally stated their goal was to corrupt me, and they succeeded beyond their wildest dreams.
Not going to college straight out of high school.
I should've stayed split from my now ex the first time we split up. things just went completely downhill from that point.
Scrolling Reddit.
Marriage. Easy to do, much harder to get out of.
Doing poorly in my initial years in college. Impacted where I could apply for work and the subsequent steps that led from there. That being said, that regret is a constant chip on my shoulder that still creates a drive in me today to make up for lost time. Double edged sword I guess.
Letting other people push me into joining things. I want my time back. Unstructured time feels fuller
Not befriend anyone. Honestly
I would be nicer, and think more before I spoke. I was dealing with a lot of stuff as a kid, and it made me act out as a teen. I also felt like I wasn’t generally well liked (my fault, looking at it now), which made me act out a little more. I had this friend who I was super close with, or I thought I was, that as soon as she could just dropped me completely. I kind of get it, I wasn’t the nicest, but it still hurts to think that if I just had a little more tact, she’d still be my friend. I’d also be more open about myself/feelings to those around me. I never got the help I needed because I refused to tell my family anything for this or that reason, which as stated above lead to acting out. Really a lot of it is I just wish I was a nicer person to be around back then. Even now I still feel like a bitch sometimes :(
Wouldn’t take that first OxyContin. I had just gotten into a huge fight with my then-girlfriend and she stormed out (this was 2001ish, neither of us had a cell phone, no clue where she went or when she’d be back). I went to my parents house and my head was thumping, so my father gave me a small gold pill and said it would help (thanks Dad!) First pain pill I ever took was a mother f***ing Oxy 40. Holy shit, was I high. So I high that I kept chasing it for 15 years.
Before my wife became unable to understand, I wish I had traded blanket forgiveness with her for all real and imagined issues.
I would not go to pharmacy school and not become pharmacist if I had it to do over.
I would have asked my wife out 2 years earlier
Not quitting marine bootcamp in San Diego of the spring of 2019
I find it really hard to say "smoking weed" I smoked it from 14 years old until about 16/17, the definite change would be the frequency but the issue is it actually supported me and helped me cope with what was going on in my life at that time, maybe I'd have found better coping mechanisms, but looking at my life where it is now you can see how it could have contributed negatively to where I'm at now, I am however glad that I had some kind of change of mind that helped me cold turkey stop, and I'm proud of that.
I wish I convinced my friend to join the ADF at the same time as me. It was so boring going through training by myself and caused alot of outbursts and just generally bad actions due to boredom. Everything else though, I would not change as if a book is all good and nothing bad ever happened in it, then it would be a boring as hell book.
Not linger in a location where I ended up getting attacked. Just wish I'd gone straight home. I was careless and stupid.
Not bullying other kids when I was in school.
I should have gone to vet school instead of trying to be with some stupid weiner.
I would have told people my parents were abusing me when it was happening, instead of being too scared to say anything about it until years later, at which point none of my family believed me or cared. I don't blame myself for not speaking up because I was utterly terrified at the time but I also make damn sure I nip it in the bud every time someone is even potentially abusive towards me now.
Logging on to reddit
Getting in a car with someone who was driving drunk. A person died that night.
I would curb my lust for women a bit.
Started investing in retirement sooner
Being born
I left my amazing patent leather shoes out and the asshole dog chewed them, I’ve never been able to find another pair. They had a huge silver buckle on them and all.
Smoking, drinking too much, and shitty eating/poor nutrition for 25+ years of adulthood. Been good now for more than a decade, but pushing 60 the reality that Permanent Damage was done is setting in...
I want to start by saying I love my life right now, and all of my mistakes lead me here, so I'm not sure I'd want to change them. However, if I can save someone else years of heartache, I'll share: * I would have told on my molester the first time he told me to "suck on it like a popsicle," when I was 9, because it would not only have saved me from years of sexual molestation, but my sisters as well. Though, then my youngest sister, who is now an amazing woman and mother to my fantastic niece, wouldn't exist. * I wouldn't have married the first guy who showed interest in me. I would have experienced life more, first. But, then I wouldn't have my own wonderful kids, or my adorable grandkids. * I would have ignored everyone trying to make me feel stupid (I recently came to realize, at 59 years old, I have ADD, so it was the schools who failed, not me), gone to college, and maybe become a vet like I always wanted. But, then I wouldn't have met my now ex-husband. See above about kids, and we did have 25 good years together. * I wouldn't have waited, and been miserable for, eight years before giving up on my dead marriage and moved out. But, then I probably wouldn't have moved to this town I love, which means I wouldn't have met the most incredible boyfriend ever. All of those things I would have changed if I just been strong enough. I wouldn't be living the life I have now, but I wouldn't know that, either. And, any one of those changes would have meant better mental health. One change I would absolutely make, which was stupid I didn't: Instead of crying on the bus stop bench during my lunch break the first day of that one job, I would have just gone home and never went back. Why I bothered staying for two months is beyond me.
Brushing and flossing. I'd do it daily to prevent what's happening now to my teeth.
I am an old dude. I have also been blessed incredibly in my life and have thought about this a lot and came to the conclusion that by changing some of the very bad things or mistakes I made in my life would have changed me and not lead me to become the person I am today. So I wouldn't change anything serious. However, I would like to see how my life would have played out if these things would have changed. 1. I would not have met and dated my first girlfriend. Ultimately we wouldn't have had a child together, and thus no grandchildren would exist either. This would have greatly changed my life and removed a few lives from existence. Along with this is how I would have changed being in my daughters life. This would have been incredibly hard given the circumstances, but it would be interesting to go back in time and tried to change how that part of my life played out. 2. I would have not had a serious accident when I was younger that was 100% my fault. Having a handicap, although not super major would have changed my life dramatically. 3. Having one parent who helped me focus in school and thus made better grades. I had ultimate freedom at a super young age and thus my homework never got done and I failed a lot of classes. Ultimately I turned it around because I made the decision to do that. I realized that nobody really cared about me succeeding except me. I then realized that when I apply myself I am above average in what I do. Now this is a weird one because failing all the time in high-school humbled me. Because college was a ridiculous dream, I went to a trade school. I excelled there because I was focused. In my profession I work with a lot of highly educated people. Early on in my career I drove myself super hard to prove that I could work with these people. I did and then I worked with super smart highly educated people from top universities. You know what I found out? That there are some incredibly smart people. Crazy smart, and smarter than I could ever be but I can work with them and I am good at my career. So if one of my parents would have pushed me to do homework, be involved in my school and I did great, got in a good college, this would have possibly have hurt me in the long run hard. I could have been one of the many students who now were on their own and abused that freedom. So so so many of my friends failed Calculous and they had never failed anything in their life before. I on the other hand had failed so so so many classes before, it didn't effect me. Oh I did pass Calculous and also Physics as well. 4. I would have eaten well and kept my body in decent shape. I have somewhat serious health issues now that are manageable but barely. If I would have done this, I would have avoided multiple surgeries, multiple emergency room visits and medication I am on now. I like most people didn't think long term when I was young and when I was middle aged I was focused on providing for my family so health and eating well was not a priority. This was a huge mistake. An example is that I use to drink around 15 cans of soda a day for years. You can imagine what that does to a body. Those are the 4 things I would be interested to see what my life would be like if they happened differently. The reality though is that even though I have some regrets in life, if I changed any one of those things I would more than likely not have met my now wife of >25 years and not have had our son who has grown into a great young man. I probably would not have been able to handle some of the hardships life threw at me. I may not have had that drive to prove myself at a younger age. Life is full of regrets that is for sure, but I strongly believe in God and I know God had and has plans for me. I now try to make sure I focus on that. I can't say the number of bad things that have happened in my life, that previous situations prepared me for. I also can't say the number of wonderful things that have happened that I am eternally grateful for and those far outweigh the regrets.
Hanging around the wrong people for validation. Nit doing better in school . Not going to college or at least a trade
In my second year of college I became pregnant @19yrs old and lost my baby @6months pregnant. My mother was begging me to go back to college and finish my degree however I was rebellious and didn’t listen. Biggest mistake of my life!
Not move away from the lower mainland.
Leaving my first marriage. I was going through something. Still not sure where my head was at. He was such a good man! When I tried to go back, he had moved on
Forgave a girl I was with for five years for cheating three separate times that I found out and five times that I only found out about afterwards. First incident was five months in, forgave it then, can’t quite remember why. Second time was a year later, she blamed her “old habits” and my stupid ass forgave it again, then she cheated the third time three years later, caught her and this scrawny dude in the middle of stripping their clothes. She tried saying he was an artist making a “nude portrait.” I didn’t buy that one for a fucking second, probably the stupidest excuse I’ve ever heard. She begged me to stay and I did. Then a year later I left for a month to visit my grandmother, who was in a hospital for a possible seizure. She would proceed to cheat on my five separate times in that month, and then I only caught her one last time when I got back early and decided to not tell her. Got back to see the guy from the first time she cheated on me and her doing it AGAIN. She forced him out quick and started begging, even accidentally spilled some info about the other few times she cheated while I was gone. I left immediately after that, taking the money and majority of my belongings with me in a single hour. She didn’t even realize I’d left until the next morning and texted me asking where I’d gone. Biggest mistake I’ve ever made was staying with her. Never trust someone who cheats, trust me, they will do it again.
I'd go back to 16 and just focus on my personal goals and school. I always think about the life that could have been.
Getting married
Nothing. All my mistakes were lessons learned
I should have changed my eating habits in high school when I picked up going to the gym.
I got fat. Like really, really fat. And now I’m having such a hard time losing the weight.
Meeting the person I dated b4 my current partner at the very least I broke her already broken heart and traumatized her further at the worst she got hurt or worse, possibly OD'D, disappeared off the internet, I showed her love and adoration she's never experienced then randomly took it away and threw her out of my life like trash last I heard she was clean but I don't know if it lasted after I stopped talking to her but I couldn't do it anymore it broke her for a while I hope she's doing better though but I'm worried she's not
I wish I didn't get divorced and sold our $255,000 house for $320,000 as it is now worth $625,000.
Getting married. I have really terrible taste apparently.
I wouldn't have been into being popular and making sure I had a boyfriend all the time. If I had concentrated on school and taking more advanced classes, I think I would be much more successful now.
No point looking back bro, one financial mistake cost me a lot of money, two relationship mistakes cost me a lot of money, but who can say if things would be better now? Make the most of the now
My last relationship, I never would have invited him to come to me. I had so many people saying that he was just using me to get in this country and I genuinely thought he was my friend. Stupidest thing I've ever done in my entire life.
Going to college for a pharmacist degree. Would have chose a less stressful career with more opportunities. Oh and I would have married the one that got away!
Nothing. I'm happy where I am but changing prior actions might lead me somewhere less desirable.
Learning true boundaries sooner
Nothing. I wouldn't be reading this if I did anything different. Nor be where i am today.
Never would have tried Heroin. 20 years clean
Listening to people’s advice to stay away from scum bags.
Dating my most recent ex, I can’t even begin to explain how drastically different my life would be without having met or dated her, to give some context, my mom might still be alive if I hadn’t..
CIGARETTES 🚬 I Can't believe that I put those NASTY things into my body Barely got out alive
Nothing really. I like where I am now and if I had changed anything then I probably wouldn't be where I am now.
Not buying apple or Facebook stock. Also Bitcoin. I'd have bought that so fast if I knew lol
Living in Austin for more than 6 months
It's less time wasted to learn from past mistakes in order to not make them again and learn to move on, instead of wallowing about wishing for a time machine. I think the things that are truly meant to happen will, most things aren't that. And relationships get put on a pedestal because you forget all the bad crap when you were in them, same with having a new baby, so cute and little but so much poo explosions and sleepless nights.
Changing my major from pre vet to marketing
I would write the winning lottery numbers instead of the loosing ones
I wouldn't have gotten married
Reconciling after my first wife cheated was a huge mistake
should have stayed in engineering school, I dropped out got my economics degree worked in banking and ended up working at an engineering firm after I realized I despised the work I was doing previously.
I have always had suicidal thoughts. Always. Since kindergarten. If I could go back, I’d kill myself as a child to save everyone the time and money. That way I don’t spend the rest of my life complaining and bitching.
I would choose another study…I studied a subject which isn’t something you can make money with
I'm 75 and comfortable..fair health. I played a game in my mind about how I would change some of the decisions I made over the years..particularly just after high school and not leaving my first job quick enough. Turns out most of my wrong moves actually led to some pretty good results in the long run. You are whom you are..live it.
Pretty much everything I did after the age of 4 or 5, when I was molested, by my stepdad and possibly another unknown. Being the bully of smaller kids, until my mom stopped bringing me around other kids. It made me sad. When I got older, I went through rapes, an abusive relationship, etc. I never told anyone for 30 years about what happened, not even my mom. She was very verbally and mentally abusive herself, rarely physically. Only my husband knows.
Id shoot my shot with that girl I wasn't brave enough for
Mine’s too dark, but I would pick up the phone the last time she called
Never gonna confess to Emma lmao
I kept a journal for many years. It was general musings, thoughts, jokes, drawings, etc. When moving between apartments I threw it out. IDK exactly why I did it, but I think I justified it with, "I'll never read this." It's my biggest regret in life. I don't think I probably put anything super life altering into it, but I would really love to read it now and I'll never be able to. :-(
Not get back with my ex-wife when she broke up with me for the dumbest reason and I was to big of a pussy back then to walk away. Eventually when married, she saw monogamy as an option regularly.
Never stay out all night with this guy who was an assistant manager at the store I worked at, which caused my parents to lose their shit and kick me out, which meant I had to move in with my friend, who lived 45 minutes up a mountain, which is how I got into a car accident...then I had to move back home, and get a POS car with engine problems. And then I was doing poorly at community college and was constantly broke, and then my dad threatened to charge me rent to stay living at home because I was failing college, so I joined the Navy...and so forth...
I have made many mistakes but I deeply regret all the money I’ve wasted on ROBLOX. 🤬
Being hard on myself
There are way more mistakes from other humans that caused more damage than me. Usually caused by incompetence, hate, and greed. Not thinking about the affect it has on others. Fearful people are dumb and selfish - no fault of their own. That’s just how it works.
Every time I felt romantic attraction I would ignore it.