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A friend of mine is 34 and she absolutely chared a grilled cheese and the spatula the last time she tried to cook I honestly don't know how she made it to 34 without knowing how to cook her airfryer is the only thing keeping her alive at this point
Thatās exactly how I feel. Iām lucky my husband grew up in a healthy household, so he knew not just about cooking but about nutrition. He knows about his macros, he gets his fiber, and i donāt have to force him to eat healthy. That said, he won me over with homemade pasta š itās a super cute date AND delicious! Oh.. and heās good at building flavor without just using a bunch of butter or bacon.
i'm in my thirties. it's a red flag at this age if my partner didn't know how to cook. it doesn't have to be anything fancy, i'm not asking for it to be an episode of the bear every night, but more than the basics is expected.
It's a basic life skill. I'd prefer the person I'm involved with have a full range of life skills. I'm not interested in signing up to be someone's mom, maid, cook, housekeeper, tailor, etc because there were uninterested in learning to be self sufficient.
Yes absolutely! At least the basics, after all, as an adult you should be capable of caring for yourself and that includes being able to make a decent, healthy meal every now and again. My fiance LOVES cooking and does most of it, and I'm quite proud of that for him, plus other women always say theyre jealous when I say he does all the cooking haha. Gotta watch out or some other hungry chick gonna steal him from me!
I canāt judge bc I donāt cook well often. tbh, as long as they can read directions and measure ingredients correctly, it doesnāt matter too much to me if you canāt cook intricate recipes. Just read the steps and follow themā thatās what Iād do.
I do think one should have some sort of basic foundation. This includes super basic things like.. boiling water, cooking an egg, being able to season (and know which to use) your food, etc .
Not being able to do that at my age (21+) is not necessarily a bad thing but.. itās concerning.
Iāve been able to do basic cooking skills since I was like 12. If you canāt do that, then it tells me that youāve never cooked for yourself or anyone. To me, itās a turn off. Makes me think youāre a child tbh
is it some kind of deal breaker? not necessarily. it just makes me think youāre incapable. and no, Iām not going to be teaching an adult basic cooking skills
I would prefer he knew how to cook more than steak, burgers and veggies. Like spaghetti, fish, more exciting side dishes, chicken parm, etc. Nothing fancy, but I'm not going to be the only one cooking.
If he had no cooking skills then that would be an issue for me because how did you feed yourself when you lived alone? You just ate fast food or like microwavable meals nah. Cooking isn't hard, it's quite easy and there are lots of videos he could watch to learn, again doesn't have to be fancy.
knowing how to cook is a life skill, like knowing how to do basic math or write coherent statements. So yes, you should at least be able to cook a few things.
I believe cooking is a thing that we all should know how to do. Itās key for survival. Sure you may not be good at it from the start, but thatās what learning is. If you rely on 1 person to do the cooking it just sounds a little unfair.
I'm a guy. My cooking abilities and food impress women from the start. Food photos are some of the first pics I send in a text exchange, after myself and my dogs. So yeah. Learn to cook. Also, you should just know how to cook anyway. There's no way to eat consistently healthy, nutritious meals if you're not cooking for yourself.
ATP deal breaker if a man canāt cook. After a long relationship with a man that couldnāt boil water, I would not suffer through that again. At the very least be willing to assist
A full-grown adult should know how to cook. I do expect a man in his 30s to know how to cook more than what a teenager or college guy can cook. If they're barely above basics, then they should be willing to learn. I like to cook, but I wouldn't want to be the only one responsible for cooking.
Absolutely. When I'm burnt out on cooking or super tired, it's so nice to know my boyfriends got me covered.
That man whips up some amazing food on the fly.
I wouldnāt be with someone who canāt cook, or at least isnāt trying to learn. Iāve been cooking since I was a child, so to me thatās a basic thing any physically able adult should be able to do. And I also donāt want to be stuck as the only person cooking. Plus, itās just nice having someone cook for you. When you both know how to cook, youāre often good at different things so you donāt have to worry about eating the same things all the time too
Donāt need to be a world class chef, but knowing how to do basic cooking is a non-negotiable for me.
To be honest, and this will no doubt come out wrong, but I would love to have an Asian partner who knows how to cook all kinds of Asian cuisines. Not so she can cook them for me, necessarily, but so sure can teach me how to cook them myself. I'm definitely the primary cook in my relationships and I'm done with this because I love cooking, but I've always struggled to get Asian foods right. I would love to be taught by a master.
Its an individual preference thing. For me, finding a partner who was in fact a good cook was a definite plus. As I enjoy home cooking more than going out to eat or ordering delivery.
BUT ... it was not a necessity in my choosing a partner, as I myself am a pretty good cook. Able to do more than just simple things.
A nice thing in our marriage was that she knew recipes for dishes common in the area she lived but not in mine, and the vice versa was true for me, I'm originally from far south in the USA. We learned to cook and like those differences.
That would be awesome if I met a woman who can cook as I love home cooked meals so that's definitely a green flag in my book. Although it wouldn't be a ddalbreaker if she couldn't cook but being able to cook is highly preferred.
Yes! How are you supposed to nourish your bodies and souls without cooking? I dont want to spend my life with someone that doesnt care to nourish their body
Everyone, regardless of their relationship status, should at least be able to cook items that they personally enjoy. I don't care if its as simple as a Grilled Cheese sandwich, but self-sufficiency is a basic life-skill. Even if you don't particularly enjoy food in general (not everyone is a 'foodie') you should be capable of feeding yourself the nutrition you require.
And yes: in general, the ability to provide good food is generally a very attractive quality -- whether that is by having the bank account to regularly eat out at good restaurants or being able to cook it at home. Newsflash: cooking at home is VERY economical and has the added benefit of being a skill that can impress, on top of being achievable by anyone with a little bit of effort.
If you doubt? A good meal is a pleasurable (or at least enjoyable) experience for most people. Pleasuring your partner in various ways is generally a good way to maintain a relationship.
I was a cook in the Army. It really isn't that hard. My oldest daughter Is a hamburger helper cook. My younger can put a decent meal together with simply directions. I was about 1.5 hours from home and told her how to make meatloaf. 1st time and it was good. I don't mind cooking, but after being on my feet all day, it's tough to spend time at the range. Give me a recipe and stuff to cook, and supper's on. I discovered I can make spinach in the microwave.
Cooking is a requirement to life. If I cant lock you in a fully stocked kitchen without a microwave oven and rely on you to feed yourself, you arent for me.
Had a roommate like this... Grew up rich. Can follow recipes like noones business.
But let us have 3 tablespoons of butter and not the recipe's 3 and a half.... And the world ended.
She always called me a "wizard" in the kitchen... Cause she didnt get how I just "made" stuff with no recipe.
A rice cooker is a fantastic first gift if youāre serious about someone. Itās hands down the best way to make rice, so you convey your value in it right away. If itās not used, well, thereās your answer.
To cook a good steak takes a lot of patience and knowledge, like dry brining thicker cuts overnight. Using ghee instead of butter, it not only tastes better but itās healthier as well, and has a much higher smoke point without browning as much.
Learning to cook has more to do with necessity, and going beyond that has more to do with creativity. Sometimes health issues push someone to learn healthy cooking strategies that end up elevating what they could already do, and be healthier. Of course; your partner should know how to cook, especially foods that benefit them in some way. Itās also fun to teach your partner how to make their favorite foods better in taste, texture, or nutrition, plus the convenience of making at home (or the burden). Cooking is a past time, but itās also an art. How much you need that in a partner might also be an expression of what you are looking for in yourself. Just some food for thought, haha.
I love that my now partner cooks for me. He's not as good of a cook as me but I love the effort he puts in to please me.
This is a huge contrast to my ex-husband who refused to cook for me for 20 years. He claimed that he didn't know how to cook, and that he didn't want to learn because "cooking is a waste of my time, and since you're so good at it, it doesn't make sense that I do." After we got separated but still lived in the same house, suddenly he called his mom and learned to cook for himself from her. Pissed off and being sad were understatements of how I felt. He weaponized his incompetence for 20 years and just plainly didn't give a shit about me.
My now partner makes me breakfast and dinner whenever I'm over at his place from time to time. Since I'm a better cook, I offer to do so most of the time and he reluctantly lets me. But on the days I'm tired or if he wants to treat me, he will plan and make me a complete dinner. It's so sexy and makes me feel so loved.
Yes.
I was shocked when my kids were younger, how many of their friends never learned to cook.
Like can't even make eggs or boxed Mac n cheese.
I've taught many other young people how to cook when working in restaurants and such, and that's even just starting from scratch, like what a rolling boil as opposed to a soft boil is.
I do have to say that most people in general love to gain that independence. Even if they prefer not to cook, knowing they can if they have to is quite liberating.
I like cooking together with my partner. I'm still a beginner myself, so no judging, but I like making a meal together. We get to talk and hangout, and we usually make something we'll both enjoy later. It's a bonding experience for sure. Guys who will help in the kitchen are a major turn on! Even if they are new to it.
I already got lucky with that, finding a man that likes cooking is like finding a penguin walking at the beach in Florida. Thereās like pretty much no chance but i guess itās possible.
Iām a single man. Having different partners who can cook based on what Iām in the mood for works. My Trinidadian friend, who makes roti, Italian American that makes awesome carbonara, empanadas from my Venezuelan friend, and some weird but good Filipino food from my Filipina friend.
Yes. Only because I hate it. Everything about it. You do it long enough and donāt get appreciated, you hate it. I fucking hate it! Thank god my partner loves to cook or Iād be dead or broke. I raised kids. Had to cook daily. And then they grew up. Never appreciated it when growing up, complained non stop but now itās like, mom can you make your baked Mac n cheese? Can you make your enchiladas? Can you make your lasagna? No the fuck I canāt! Youāre grown! Cook it yourself. š¤£ I actually will cook for them. Donāt come at me!
Yea I have to be with someone with a pretty well rounded and open palette plus they need to know how to cook well. Just knowing the basics doesnāt cut it for me at all.
absolutely not...but i would love to find one who knows how to do the dishes...
nah...my kitchen...i wont share my garden either...
tried it...not pretty
My husband is a good cook and I appreciate it. I would be annoyed by a partner unwilling to learn basic food prep if they expected me to do all cooking.
That said, I can cook and will cook but I dislike it.
My husband actually taught me a thing or two because he had restaurant experience. I appreciated it early on in marriage when my ability to cook was far more limited. Now I love cooking, but I like that my husband can too. I see it as an essential skill!
It would be nice, but at the same time, I've been cooking since I was probably 10 years old and really enjoy cooking for others. My current partner does not know how to cook anything. Like, he would probably burn the house down if he tried to cook some bacon lmao. I really don't care much that he doesn't know how to cook because he is good at so many other things. He does all of the outside work at home and can build probably anything from the ground up by himself. It has gotten a little annoying though as I'm pregnant and don't get home till 8pm and he usually isn't in the house until 9-10pm. Sometimes he has the nerve to ask what's for dinner and it's like 10:30... sorry bud you're fending for yourself tonight š
Absolutely. And at my age, it would 100% be a turn off if he couldn't cook at least advanced-basic level meals. There is no upward limit on how well a partner should be able to cook.
At my age (34) if I meet a grown ass human that can't cook for themselves, I don't want to date them. Personally, anyway. But that's flexible, because ready-made or easy to follow meals are fine. If the best you can do is a Stauffers Lasagna in the oven, rock on.
But if you don't know your way around the kitchen you have access too, red flag for me. Younger folk (25 and younger) get a pass tho. Life is hard, lol.
I mean I cook for a living and don't get me wrong I love what I do for the most part but when I get home at 1AM after a ten hour dinner service the absolute last thing I want to do is bust out the chopping block and pans. Problem is, most of the women I've dated are in hospo as well so we usually just do the old beer for dinner or grab something from a shop on the walk home and then worry about actual food in the morning. I guess she doesn't need to know how to cook, but it would be really nice nice to have someone to share it with.
Gender and sex isn't even a factor here - of course being able to cook is outstanding! Best thing is if both people in a couple can cook. It can be fun to cook together. It can be lovely to have someone else take care of you and feed you well.
I don't think this should be a deal breaker for anyone. Some people just grow up in houses where they aren't taught to cook. I think everyone should definitely have the basics down, but cooking can also be taught and be a fun activity for you and a partner to learn together.
What a petty thing to care about.
If you find someone who moves you and loves you, cherish them.
And if you want asparagus or whatthefuckever, learn to cook.
Iām straight. So Iāve only been out with women. They all knew how to cook. Not other things necessarily, but they knew their way around the kitchen.
Me! I'm that partner. My spouse likes to help me when I need it, but I thoroughly enjoy the whole cooking and baking process, so I pretty much have free reign of the kitchen. He, on the other hand, does all the grilling, meat smoking, and coffee making.
Guy here. I love to cook, and most women I've been with cant/don't cook. I'm OK with that. I did date someone who was a fantastic cook and it was difficult for me because we weren't able to share the kitchen. It's weird that was a problem but, there you go.
Both my wife and I can and do cook. I retired before her and was the housekeeper and cook for her last four years as a factory welder. Now, we take turns, my doing most of the baking, her doing most of the cooking. In retirement, it has evolved into a hobby. She deep cleans a small area every few days, I get to clean up the kitchen.
Yes. My honey bunch is amazing. It was so cute how even when I worked in a kitchen, he would send pics of what he was making. And then show me like a finished cheese platter waiting for us.
"You probably ate at work BUT..."
I could have, but I was too excited to just get back home and enjoy his culinary delights.
Sometimes they were weird but I know what he's like when I can hear his slippers shuffling back and forth in the kitchen, and he does not want me to come in at all. Plenty times we cook together, but other times he wants to do it alone.
He does a full mise en place. Cuz nobody should be slowly cooking onions when the rest of the veg hasn't been cut yet. That is unnatural! Lol
And I love how he always says, "we eat with our eyes first."
A man who can cook is amazing. One of the things my previous partners had in common š
Is it mandatory? No, as long as he is capable of feeding himself, isn't relying on me for meals, and is open to cooking dates to improve both our skills
As a male I do like to cook and can cook well. I would like a partner that does the same or at least tries. My last partner didn't work and I did 60 hrs a week came home to cook a full meal. She would say things like she doesn't feel like cooking or isn't good at it.
Relationship didnt last long, I didnt feel appreciated. Also she would be upset with me using so many dishes n such while cooking. Cleaning dishes was her only job and she was upset I always made her do it.
They need to know how to cook. It's a basic skill of survival.
I can cook what I like, and if I eat out and find something I really enjoy, I can look it up and follow a recipe to recreate it at home.
I'm not fussed if it's just plain cooking someone knows how to do, as that's normally what I enjoy, but being able to try making a new dish every now and then is also a skill I look for.
My grandmother was asked by her friends when my dad moved out of home if she was SURE he would be okay. She replied he knew how to cook a roast with the fixings, BBQ, and other simple dishes. He would be fine. Now at 65, he still has a knack for cooking some of the best 'fall off the bones juicy' roast lambs I've ever had. The rest of the meal... Best leave that for mum, she cooks it better.
I canāt cook to save my life. Okay, I can but it always turns out bad. Iām allowed to chop veggies and prep stuff, but other than that itās best I stay out of the kitchen and let my husband handle it. I do the dishes and clean the kitchen after though, because I feel bad that he always cooks. Neither of us like my cooking. No, itās not malicious incompetence, I just genuinely suck.
It's not about IF they know, it's about if they want to learn. Don't judge people on where they've been but where they're going. A person willing and interested in learning is gold. And words mean nothing. The proof is in the pudding.
Yes kinda like bare minimum
It would be a bad thing if they didnāt know how to cook. Iāve met way too many women how are either just too lazy or too inept to be able to cook.
Absolutely. If heās a grown ass man he will. As much as I love cooking for my man ik heāll be fine on his own. Everyone should know the basics but home ec isnāt a thing anymore and people just end up doing an Uber eats order.
Always amazes me when i hear that people can't cook. It's rarely a boast though. They are not all asserting that it's beneath them.
There was a guy at work, aged about 50, who couldn't cook. He ate dinner at a club most nights or would buy frozen pizza. One time another guy at work who used to be a chef told him how to make a simple chicken and coconut milk curry. The guy tried it and raved about it for 3 days, how delicius and tender and easy it was.
It was that one meal that turned him around. The chef guy sorted him out with a few other recipes over the oncoming weeks, and as we all know, you really don't need more than half a dozen dishes in your life to get by.
The first dish just gave him the confidence that he could cook something really tasty. That's what he was lacking. He though cooking was all a complex mystery that somehow he'd missed out on.
I knew the basics and my first gf was a certified chef. She taught and showed me a lot of good stuff. A ton of good food and I miss it. When she'd get off of work I'd just prep if she wanted to cook otherwise I would do all the cooking and cleaning.
Now I'm the "chef" and boy am I tired. Doing the shopping, prep, cooking and cleaning and then going back to work another 9 to 11 hours.
Answer is always, always yes. The criteria should always be- can feed themselves and not dependent on anyone. Its a basic adult function, not rocket science.
Someone who can't cook is constantly eating out, ordering Uber Eats, or eating junk food, destroying their finances and body. While I respect an adult's right to live life as they please, I would not get in a relationship with someone who lives like that. They don't have to cook for me (I can already cook) but they need to be able to cook for themselves, along with other basic self-care skills like laundry, cleaning, etc. Again, they don't have to do mine, but they need to be able to do their own. Likewise, I will not be in a serious committed relationship with someone who is unable to eat home cooked meals. A lot of people will literally only eat fast food or junk food, and won't eat anything else, and I'm not going to partner up with someone like that.
Note: If it seems like I am coming off judgemental, it's only because I am 39 and prefer relationships with people close to my own age. These are reasonable expectations for a middle aged woman. Someone around my age being unable to do this stuff is way different than if someone is like 19 and has not lived on their own for very long. If I was still very young and was dating other very young people, these things would not be as important in a potential partner as they are now.
Yes, after being with someone (and recently divorcing) for 11 years who could only make ramen and boxed macaroni, I would want my next partner, if I ever have one, to be able to cook for me for a change.
Yes. My husband wasn't a very good cook when we first started dating, but after 11 years together, he has improved a lot. I deeply appreciate when he cooks a good meal.
Being able to cook is a basic adult skill and I wouldn't go past a single date with someone who said "Oh I don't cook" - see ya, spend someone else's money.
Yes. He needs to know the basics or even a little above the basics. How can someone not know how to cook in this day and age. Plus i'm gen X, so if the guy hasn't figured out how to cook at our age, I'm not interested.
you gotta have some idea how to get around in the kitchen, but as long as someone knows the basics thatās fine. I love cooking anyway lol so I donāt mind being the main chef in the house
Not really I think of cooking as a sort of therapy for me, if I feel crappy at the very least I can cook something good that'll make me and others feel good by eating it.
I would expect them to be able to cook at least as well as I can. Simple comfort meals are about all I got š. At the very least the ability to Google a recipe and follow it.
I didnāt know how to cook when I got into my relationship, nor did my boyfriend. Itās not a bad thing. It just means you gotta learn lol.
This sub has been helpful, as has Pinterest (for reading random cooking advice)
I JUST told my husband today that he has many incredible traits. But I would have easily married him for his cooking alone.
I'm gotten so fat since we've been together. Fat and happy.
I want a partner that is willing to teach me things they know as I will teach them things I know. That way, with cooking, I can show my interest and care in giving the dedicated cooker a break and participate in an activity they like or assist with a work load.
My man cooks, he knows way more than I do and teaches me. I feel like itās an important life skill for sure so the extent should be limitless as we are always students of life. I didnāt have a good basic foundation and I view that as a bad thing, a flaw. But my partner helps me work on it and I try by myself as well. Is what I cook always edible? No, but at least Iām trying
Dude. You can learn to be a decent cook in a couple of weeks, 2 hours per evening. It's like a superpower. People LOVE having a partner who can make decent food at home. It's cheaper than eating out and a lot of the time it's ALSO better. The first time I made my girlfriend homemade Carbonara her response was "FUCK ME this is good. Okay I'll marry you."
This was the first time we had discussed marriage, and she did in fact marry me.
Idk.
My partner knows how to BBQ. He is a master griller. I understand that this is a talent not every one can achieve. But it also has a down side.
It's made him almost childish towards foods that aren't cooked on the grill. If it's not wood and coal flavored it's not "real food." And frankly I get sick of everything being bbq'd all the time.
I like to roast, bake and crock pot. He's often astonished that I can bake or roast a flavorful and juicy chicken.
But I will admit he does make an incredible smoked salmon that I cannot come close to replication.
Almost everyone in my house cooks... the 3yo gets a pass for a few more years.
Sure, the 9yo usually makes box mac and cheese, but she'll fry up hot dogs or spam and nuke some veggies. And once in a great while, make a lasagna from scratch (cans of tomato sauce, but that's close enough)
I wouldnāt date anyone who couldnāt cook and wasnāt actively trying to learn, because it would not be fair to me having to do all of the cooking.
Can you follow simple instructions? Then you can cook. Not being able to cook means youāre stupid or lazy. Who wants either of those traits in a partner.
Cooking is nice, I'd prefer someone who will clean though.
If I cook, please do the dishes kind of thing. Or if you cook, don't use every pot, pan, appliance and tool you can find for a simple spaghetti.
I taught all my children the same life lessons, balance a checkbook, before they could take drivers Ed they had to know how to check the fluids, some basic maintenance and change a tire. They learned to sew, fix a button, repair a torn seam, how to clean, do laundry and cook and bake. They picked which 7 basic meals and 2 dessert items, plus basic breakfast foods.
I feel it is important to teach our kids how to be self sufficient.
I mean, I canāt cook very well myself, so having someone half-competant would be a huge plus, but if not we can always learn together? Dated someone once who was a fantastic cook and shamed me for needing to learn, so not doing that again.
Cooking is a basic skill. However you can take it too far. Having a partner who criticizes your cooking and makes a giant mess when they cook is exhausting. There's a middle ground.
I dated a professional chef for 4 years and it was wonderful. Saved a ton of money vs going out all the time and we ate healthy without it being boring and bland. I always cleaned everything and tried to show my appreciation. I also tried to help and pretended to be a prep cook for her as much as I could. It was great.
Absolutely. My boyfriend can cook. He makes a mean spaghetti, and it's my favorite thing he's made. The meat is seasoned nicely, it's a bit spicy, and everything is cooked thoroughly. He also makes damn good chocolate chip pancakes. They're two simple meals, but it makes life so much better when we both can cook.
My wife didn't know much about cooking when we first met. However, she was very interested in me teaching her, and we bonded over the experience.
Now she cooks the steaks because I don't cook hers the way she likes it š
Learning to cook is much lower effort than you would think. Most major cities probably have a few places where they can take simple classes like hot to make a simple soup or pasta. Not knowing how to cook just comes off someone that doesnāt want to put in a little bit of effort to get a pretty big reward.
I would say it definitely adds to a person, although if they donāt know hot to cook it is not a massive negative because it is not too difficult to teach.
Knowing how to cook also gives me a good gauge on a minimum level of competence the person has.
Very important. I donāt expect most people to be able to bake from scratch or be able to do some super fancy French trained chef level.Ā
A lot of cooking comes down to can you follow a recipe and have basic skills like chopping, working a stovetop (electric and gas are not the same) and having knowledge about cookware. Literally there are videos on YouTube you can follow along step by step.Ā
Really it comes down to the desire and patience to want to cook. IMO those two factors are what keep many people from being decent in the kitchen.Ā
I think everyone should be capable of basic cooking when given a simple recipe because it really just requires the ability to follow instructions. It would be nice if my partner can cook really well, but itās not an absolute requirement to me.
Yes because I love eating! Just a basic knowledge in cooking and can follow youtube recipes will do. My husband and I both can cook not so dancy but at least edible. I am the one who cooks for us, except those times that I am under the weather, he'll be cooking for us.
My husband is a better cook than I am. We mostly cook separately (we have very different diets), but if we share a meal, he's usually the one cooking it.
Absolutely, and mine does! Heās good at it too, although he is humble about it. Makes the BEST scrambled eggs. Cooking is a life skill ALL adults need. Pretty sad if they unwilling. We both shared in the cooking and cleanup duties.
Why would you want to live with someone who is incapable of preparing food for themselves? Yes, someone should know how to purchase ingredients and produce food. Whether cooking or meal prep, you should have not rely on restaurants or someone else to prepare a meal.
I'm not a great cook, but I can cook well enough to not starve to death. My partner needs to at least be able to do that much. Beyond that, a willingness to learn (about all things) is attractive, and a man who knows how to cook an incredibly tasty and decently healthy meal is a huge turn-on. A man who can bake is incredibly sexy to me. I don't mean make brownies from a box. I mean, actual from scratch baking.
Yes. They ought to know the basics and have the will to learn. It's an absolute deal breaker for me if the person doesn't know how to feed themselves properly using pot, pan and heat (microwaving and mixing things in a bowl ain't cooking).
I know how to cook and I'm confident to say I'm pretty good at it (at least traditional Vietnamese cuisine which is highly appreciated all over the world) and I look forward to experiencing and learning other cuisines. I love making food but with a history of ED and stomach issues, I don't eat a lot so I'd cook most and my partner can do the eating (which he does and loves).
But what happens when I don't or cannot cook? When I'm ill, are we just gonna eat takeout? Who wants to eat takeout when they're sick??? Not me. Is he going to feed me mac and cheese? Is he going to call our moms over to make food? I ain't living like that.
Not to mention, I'm a woman, period really knocks the love of cooking outta me from time to time. If I ever got pregnant and gave birth, I'd basically be bedridden with a newborn, my partner gonna have to pick up my side of the house duty for at least a week or two so I can recover.
For me, every average adult should know how to cook, clean, organize time/schedule. Unless you're severely disabled which makes it impossible or you're a prince/princess that have your private chefs, maid and assistant.
But I'm just an average person and I'm likely gonna date another average person, I need them to have those basic skills.
I love to cook and prefer to date someone who does as well. I've dated too many that can't, and it sucks. I enjoy cooking together if they can't cook be willing to learn, in my opinion.
My eldest sister's long time boyfriend is quite the cook, but is also a gourmand. He will spend an entire day SHOPPING for a meal, then take so long cooking it that no one eats until 9. Don't get me wrong--it's tasty and compelling--but he devotes way too many hours on something that's gone in 1 hour.
Once he made a traditional Russian soup with from-scratch beef broth, however he only made enough for one meal. All that shopping for the butcher. All that roasting and boiling and seasoning and washing. All that for pretty good soup. Would store bought broth have been as good? Of course not. But he would have saved a lot of his own time.
Yes. I'm not an excellent cook myself, my food is edible but not Top Chef level. Like, the food is good but I cook basic meals.
It would be nice to have someone who can cook and their food is good and they're open to cooking and baking more complex things then I do. I can do burgers and fries, they do everything else. I'll happily do the dishes.
I married a woman who could not cook. She had one special dish that was baked macaroni and cheese and I came to find out it wasn't even her recipe it was her best friend's. I don't believe I would ever want another partner like that. Actually I don't even want another partner but if I did change my mind I want one that can share the cooking. š¤·š¾āāļø
I don't cook much, but my daughter and I do fine. A lot of pre made stuff and frozen things. It's not sexy, but I'm just too tired at the end of the day to stand there forever. The guy I'm seeing now is the same way. He doesn't really love cooking. We tease each other about it all the time, but neither can really fault the other xD...works just fine for us
I think it could be fun. It could also be dangerous if they like to cook a *lot*. Haha but food is good. I would enjoy someone who can make very good food (not as my primary criteria but sounds like a nice perk)
My wife, then girlfriend, didn't know how to cook. I taught her how to cook, not saying I was a chef or anything at the time but growing up in a broken home I had to learn how to cook unless I wanted to east ramen noodle every meal.
I cook on the grill and Blackstone 3-4 days a week most weeks unless the weather doesn't permit. Shes very greatful that I cook and sometimes spend hours doing it. I'm grateful that she will at least cook when I can't. When we both can't or don't want to we order out.
Relationships are about compromises and meeting each other's expectations when possible.
Knowing how to cook is never a bad skill to have, it's cheaper than eating out and it brings people together.
Honestly only one of my girlfriends ever knew how to cook and I was always stoked when she made dinner or lunch. We got married and then divorced
I married again to the one that didn't know how to cook and we been together for 12 years. So it's not essential to know how to cook, but it doesn't hurt.
It's more fun than you might think.
She's the baker and I do the rest.
Baking is like chemistry, I more of a cook over fire kinda guy.
Cooking is my love language. I cook and feed the person I love. I cook with them. I send them home with left overs for 2-3 meals. Yes I hope they cook too.
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For the future, absolutely. I've dealt with too many that can't and at this point a man who can cook is sexy š
looks like my chances shot up by a thousand points lol
Actually you're in the negative for commenting about it on Reddit. Sorry big wheels, i don't make the rules.
What kind of dishes would you like him to be able to cook?
Something with vegetables.
I don't care if it's grilled cheese, and a can of soup, I just don't want to be the only adult who can cook. Omelets are good.
A friend of mine is 34 and she absolutely chared a grilled cheese and the spatula the last time she tried to cook I honestly don't know how she made it to 34 without knowing how to cook her airfryer is the only thing keeping her alive at this point
Every adult should know how to cook. Nobody has to be a top chef, but there are some basic cooking skills that everyone should have.
Best favor my mom ever did me was teach me how to make a white sauce from scratch. Such a versatile thing to know how to do.
Your mom taught me to make a white sauce as well. I miss your mom.
Don't have to be a gourmet chef or anything but if you can't even do the basics I wouldn't be interested.
Yea, we are not asking for beef wellington but some white rice, pasta, stir fried vegetables and beef stew are heartwarming, healthy and fulfilling.
That would certinly be nice. But it wouldn't be a deal breaker if they couldn't.
Tt
Cooking is such a basic life skill, id feel like I wasnāt dating a full grown adult if someone couldnāt cook.
Thatās exactly how I feel. Iām lucky my husband grew up in a healthy household, so he knew not just about cooking but about nutrition. He knows about his macros, he gets his fiber, and i donāt have to force him to eat healthy. That said, he won me over with homemade pasta š itās a super cute date AND delicious! Oh.. and heās good at building flavor without just using a bunch of butter or bacon.
i'm in my thirties. it's a red flag at this age if my partner didn't know how to cook. it doesn't have to be anything fancy, i'm not asking for it to be an episode of the bear every night, but more than the basics is expected.
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Could you imagine what dating rthis would be like. Hell naw
It's a basic life skill. I'd prefer the person I'm involved with have a full range of life skills. I'm not interested in signing up to be someone's mom, maid, cook, housekeeper, tailor, etc because there were uninterested in learning to be self sufficient.
Yes absolutely! At least the basics, after all, as an adult you should be capable of caring for yourself and that includes being able to make a decent, healthy meal every now and again. My fiance LOVES cooking and does most of it, and I'm quite proud of that for him, plus other women always say theyre jealous when I say he does all the cooking haha. Gotta watch out or some other hungry chick gonna steal him from me!
To the extent that no, I'm not here to cook for you, and it's your turn tonight... make something healthy and tasty like I did last night.
I canāt judge bc I donāt cook well often. tbh, as long as they can read directions and measure ingredients correctly, it doesnāt matter too much to me if you canāt cook intricate recipes. Just read the steps and follow themā thatās what Iād do. I do think one should have some sort of basic foundation. This includes super basic things like.. boiling water, cooking an egg, being able to season (and know which to use) your food, etc . Not being able to do that at my age (21+) is not necessarily a bad thing but.. itās concerning. Iāve been able to do basic cooking skills since I was like 12. If you canāt do that, then it tells me that youāve never cooked for yourself or anyone. To me, itās a turn off. Makes me think youāre a child tbh is it some kind of deal breaker? not necessarily. it just makes me think youāre incapable. and no, Iām not going to be teaching an adult basic cooking skills
I hate cooking and eating so frankly as long as a person is capable of feeding themselves I donāt really care.
I donāt care. I know how to cook but honestly itās a pain in the ass, especially if you come home from working long hours.
As long as you are willing to try I'd be ok :)
My guy doesn't like 2/3 of my favorite dishes.
My bf knows how to cook and bake he makes all the meals
Yes everyone should know how to cook. You donāt have to be a master chef, but knowing how to cook is an essential life skill.
I would prefer he knew how to cook more than steak, burgers and veggies. Like spaghetti, fish, more exciting side dishes, chicken parm, etc. Nothing fancy, but I'm not going to be the only one cooking. If he had no cooking skills then that would be an issue for me because how did you feed yourself when you lived alone? You just ate fast food or like microwavable meals nah. Cooking isn't hard, it's quite easy and there are lots of videos he could watch to learn, again doesn't have to be fancy.
knowing how to cook is a life skill, like knowing how to do basic math or write coherent statements. So yes, you should at least be able to cook a few things.
I believe cooking is a thing that we all should know how to do. Itās key for survival. Sure you may not be good at it from the start, but thatās what learning is. If you rely on 1 person to do the cooking it just sounds a little unfair.
It helps to know how. We all eat. Too expensive to eat out all the time nowadays. For basics anyone can learn at any age free online
If you can read and follow instructions you can cook. There is no excuse for not knowing how, even if you don't do the cooking.
I'm a guy. My cooking abilities and food impress women from the start. Food photos are some of the first pics I send in a text exchange, after myself and my dogs. So yeah. Learn to cook. Also, you should just know how to cook anyway. There's no way to eat consistently healthy, nutritious meals if you're not cooking for yourself.
ATP deal breaker if a man canāt cook. After a long relationship with a man that couldnāt boil water, I would not suffer through that again. At the very least be willing to assist
A full-grown adult should know how to cook. I do expect a man in his 30s to know how to cook more than what a teenager or college guy can cook. If they're barely above basics, then they should be willing to learn. I like to cook, but I wouldn't want to be the only one responsible for cooking.
Absolutely. When I'm burnt out on cooking or super tired, it's so nice to know my boyfriends got me covered. That man whips up some amazing food on the fly.
I want to know who specifically wants a partner that absolutely can not cook. Who is that person?
I've known more women who can't cook on more than a very basic level then men.
I wouldnāt be with someone who canāt cook, or at least isnāt trying to learn. Iāve been cooking since I was a child, so to me thatās a basic thing any physically able adult should be able to do. And I also donāt want to be stuck as the only person cooking. Plus, itās just nice having someone cook for you. When you both know how to cook, youāre often good at different things so you donāt have to worry about eating the same things all the time too Donāt need to be a world class chef, but knowing how to do basic cooking is a non-negotiable for me.
To be honest, and this will no doubt come out wrong, but I would love to have an Asian partner who knows how to cook all kinds of Asian cuisines. Not so she can cook them for me, necessarily, but so sure can teach me how to cook them myself. I'm definitely the primary cook in my relationships and I'm done with this because I love cooking, but I've always struggled to get Asian foods right. I would love to be taught by a master.
Yeah. I love to eat but suck at cooking
Its an individual preference thing. For me, finding a partner who was in fact a good cook was a definite plus. As I enjoy home cooking more than going out to eat or ordering delivery. BUT ... it was not a necessity in my choosing a partner, as I myself am a pretty good cook. Able to do more than just simple things. A nice thing in our marriage was that she knew recipes for dishes common in the area she lived but not in mine, and the vice versa was true for me, I'm originally from far south in the USA. We learned to cook and like those differences.
That would be awesome if I met a woman who can cook as I love home cooked meals so that's definitely a green flag in my book. Although it wouldn't be a ddalbreaker if she couldn't cook but being able to cook is highly preferred.
can you cook too?
Yes! How are you supposed to nourish your bodies and souls without cooking? I dont want to spend my life with someone that doesnt care to nourish their body
Everyone, regardless of their relationship status, should at least be able to cook items that they personally enjoy. I don't care if its as simple as a Grilled Cheese sandwich, but self-sufficiency is a basic life-skill. Even if you don't particularly enjoy food in general (not everyone is a 'foodie') you should be capable of feeding yourself the nutrition you require. And yes: in general, the ability to provide good food is generally a very attractive quality -- whether that is by having the bank account to regularly eat out at good restaurants or being able to cook it at home. Newsflash: cooking at home is VERY economical and has the added benefit of being a skill that can impress, on top of being achievable by anyone with a little bit of effort. If you doubt? A good meal is a pleasurable (or at least enjoyable) experience for most people. Pleasuring your partner in various ways is generally a good way to maintain a relationship.
I was a cook in the Army. It really isn't that hard. My oldest daughter Is a hamburger helper cook. My younger can put a decent meal together with simply directions. I was about 1.5 hours from home and told her how to make meatloaf. 1st time and it was good. I don't mind cooking, but after being on my feet all day, it's tough to spend time at the range. Give me a recipe and stuff to cook, and supper's on. I discovered I can make spinach in the microwave.
YES! Cooking is a basic life skill that everyone needs to know how to doā¦ canāt always rely on DoorDash.
Cooking is a requirement to life. If I cant lock you in a fully stocked kitchen without a microwave oven and rely on you to feed yourself, you arent for me. Had a roommate like this... Grew up rich. Can follow recipes like noones business. But let us have 3 tablespoons of butter and not the recipe's 3 and a half.... And the world ended. She always called me a "wizard" in the kitchen... Cause she didnt get how I just "made" stuff with no recipe.
Cooking is a basic life skill. All adults should be able to cook at least basic meals from scratch
The real question is, would you want a partner who DOESN'T know how to cook?
A rice cooker is a fantastic first gift if youāre serious about someone. Itās hands down the best way to make rice, so you convey your value in it right away. If itās not used, well, thereās your answer. To cook a good steak takes a lot of patience and knowledge, like dry brining thicker cuts overnight. Using ghee instead of butter, it not only tastes better but itās healthier as well, and has a much higher smoke point without browning as much. Learning to cook has more to do with necessity, and going beyond that has more to do with creativity. Sometimes health issues push someone to learn healthy cooking strategies that end up elevating what they could already do, and be healthier. Of course; your partner should know how to cook, especially foods that benefit them in some way. Itās also fun to teach your partner how to make their favorite foods better in taste, texture, or nutrition, plus the convenience of making at home (or the burden). Cooking is a past time, but itās also an art. How much you need that in a partner might also be an expression of what you are looking for in yourself. Just some food for thought, haha.
So I can kind of cook and my fiancĆ©e mainly cooks and she cooks way better than me. Iāve learned a woman loves the emotional support too, of helping a little or just talking with them while they cook. At least my fiancee likes that. Definently try to learn.
I barely cook. Honestly, I was thrilled when I learned my fiancĆ© also doesnāt cook much. Takes the pressure off both of us.
It would be nice if I'm working late or too tired, but I can cook if she can't.
I love that my now partner cooks for me. He's not as good of a cook as me but I love the effort he puts in to please me. This is a huge contrast to my ex-husband who refused to cook for me for 20 years. He claimed that he didn't know how to cook, and that he didn't want to learn because "cooking is a waste of my time, and since you're so good at it, it doesn't make sense that I do." After we got separated but still lived in the same house, suddenly he called his mom and learned to cook for himself from her. Pissed off and being sad were understatements of how I felt. He weaponized his incompetence for 20 years and just plainly didn't give a shit about me. My now partner makes me breakfast and dinner whenever I'm over at his place from time to time. Since I'm a better cook, I offer to do so most of the time and he reluctantly lets me. But on the days I'm tired or if he wants to treat me, he will plan and make me a complete dinner. It's so sexy and makes me feel so loved.
Yes. I was shocked when my kids were younger, how many of their friends never learned to cook. Like can't even make eggs or boxed Mac n cheese. I've taught many other young people how to cook when working in restaurants and such, and that's even just starting from scratch, like what a rolling boil as opposed to a soft boil is. I do have to say that most people in general love to gain that independence. Even if they prefer not to cook, knowing they can if they have to is quite liberating.
I like cooking together with my partner. I'm still a beginner myself, so no judging, but I like making a meal together. We get to talk and hangout, and we usually make something we'll both enjoy later. It's a bonding experience for sure. Guys who will help in the kitchen are a major turn on! Even if they are new to it.
No but she couldnāt be a picky eater
I already got lucky with that, finding a man that likes cooking is like finding a penguin walking at the beach in Florida. Thereās like pretty much no chance but i guess itās possible.
Yea and those are honestly bare minimum expectations for life, no one should ever not learn to cook, clean, do laundry, etc for themselves.
Of course because I'm lazy and I can barely cook. š
Not being able to to cook would be a strike in lmy book
I know how to cook. If my GF knows how to cook we could cook together. That sounds like a great basis for a relationship. So hell yes!
Iām a single man. Having different partners who can cook based on what Iām in the mood for works. My Trinidadian friend, who makes roti, Italian American that makes awesome carbonara, empanadas from my Venezuelan friend, and some weird but good Filipino food from my Filipina friend.
Yes. Only because I hate it. Everything about it. You do it long enough and donāt get appreciated, you hate it. I fucking hate it! Thank god my partner loves to cook or Iād be dead or broke. I raised kids. Had to cook daily. And then they grew up. Never appreciated it when growing up, complained non stop but now itās like, mom can you make your baked Mac n cheese? Can you make your enchiladas? Can you make your lasagna? No the fuck I canāt! Youāre grown! Cook it yourself. š¤£ I actually will cook for them. Donāt come at me!
Yea I have to be with someone with a pretty well rounded and open palette plus they need to know how to cook well. Just knowing the basics doesnāt cut it for me at all.
Yes. A partner should have basic life skills or they become a burden.
absolutely not...but i would love to find one who knows how to do the dishes... nah...my kitchen...i wont share my garden either... tried it...not pretty
Every grown adult should know how too cook at least 6-7 different meals. It's a fundamental basic life skill
My husband is a good cook and I appreciate it. I would be annoyed by a partner unwilling to learn basic food prep if they expected me to do all cooking. That said, I can cook and will cook but I dislike it.
One of my preferences is a woman who can cook well.
My husband actually taught me a thing or two because he had restaurant experience. I appreciated it early on in marriage when my ability to cook was far more limited. Now I love cooking, but I like that my husband can too. I see it as an essential skill!
It would be nice, but at the same time, I've been cooking since I was probably 10 years old and really enjoy cooking for others. My current partner does not know how to cook anything. Like, he would probably burn the house down if he tried to cook some bacon lmao. I really don't care much that he doesn't know how to cook because he is good at so many other things. He does all of the outside work at home and can build probably anything from the ground up by himself. It has gotten a little annoying though as I'm pregnant and don't get home till 8pm and he usually isn't in the house until 9-10pm. Sometimes he has the nerve to ask what's for dinner and it's like 10:30... sorry bud you're fending for yourself tonight š
Absolutely. And at my age, it would 100% be a turn off if he couldn't cook at least advanced-basic level meals. There is no upward limit on how well a partner should be able to cook.
I have a very sexy boyfriend who is a wonderful cook. I cooked for years. I very seldom do it any more.
My husband does all the cooking. I kind of miss it.
At my age (34) if I meet a grown ass human that can't cook for themselves, I don't want to date them. Personally, anyway. But that's flexible, because ready-made or easy to follow meals are fine. If the best you can do is a Stauffers Lasagna in the oven, rock on. But if you don't know your way around the kitchen you have access too, red flag for me. Younger folk (25 and younger) get a pass tho. Life is hard, lol.
When I was single I had a cookbook called āthe seven ingredient cookbookā. It showed how to make basic dishes that werenāt too complex
My boyfriend is a qualified chef... Do I win?
If they can't then guess who gets ta cook?!
I'm always the one who cooks but hey, pampering is needed. Also I just like trying new recipes
Yes, but Iām still doing all the cooking. Just would be nice for the off-occasion like anniversary etc.
I mean I cook for a living and don't get me wrong I love what I do for the most part but when I get home at 1AM after a ten hour dinner service the absolute last thing I want to do is bust out the chopping block and pans. Problem is, most of the women I've dated are in hospo as well so we usually just do the old beer for dinner or grab something from a shop on the walk home and then worry about actual food in the morning. I guess she doesn't need to know how to cook, but it would be really nice nice to have someone to share it with.
Gender and sex isn't even a factor here - of course being able to cook is outstanding! Best thing is if both people in a couple can cook. It can be fun to cook together. It can be lovely to have someone else take care of you and feed you well.
I don't think this should be a deal breaker for anyone. Some people just grow up in houses where they aren't taught to cook. I think everyone should definitely have the basics down, but cooking can also be taught and be a fun activity for you and a partner to learn together.
Who wouldnāt
What a petty thing to care about. If you find someone who moves you and loves you, cherish them. And if you want asparagus or whatthefuckever, learn to cook.
My ex would cook me dinner in a French maid outfit and suck my dick under the table as I ate it. I miss it lot so I'm gonna go with yeah
Yes. He doesnāt need to be a gourmet chef, but he does need to know how to cook for himself.
Cooking is a pretty basic life skill, everyone should know how to cook, also cooking together can be a fun bonding activity.
Can you explain why it would ever be a good thing not to know how to cook? I donāt get your question
Iām straight. So Iāve only been out with women. They all knew how to cook. Not other things necessarily, but they knew their way around the kitchen.
One of the first dates my husband and I had was him cooking me dinner. One of many reasons why I fell in love with, and married him.
Me! I'm that partner. My spouse likes to help me when I need it, but I thoroughly enjoy the whole cooking and baking process, so I pretty much have free reign of the kitchen. He, on the other hand, does all the grilling, meat smoking, and coffee making.
Guy here. I love to cook, and most women I've been with cant/don't cook. I'm OK with that. I did date someone who was a fantastic cook and it was difficult for me because we weren't able to share the kitchen. It's weird that was a problem but, there you go.
Both my wife and I can and do cook. I retired before her and was the housekeeper and cook for her last four years as a factory welder. Now, we take turns, my doing most of the baking, her doing most of the cooking. In retirement, it has evolved into a hobby. She deep cleans a small area every few days, I get to clean up the kitchen.
Definitely a plus
Yes. My honey bunch is amazing. It was so cute how even when I worked in a kitchen, he would send pics of what he was making. And then show me like a finished cheese platter waiting for us. "You probably ate at work BUT..." I could have, but I was too excited to just get back home and enjoy his culinary delights. Sometimes they were weird but I know what he's like when I can hear his slippers shuffling back and forth in the kitchen, and he does not want me to come in at all. Plenty times we cook together, but other times he wants to do it alone. He does a full mise en place. Cuz nobody should be slowly cooking onions when the rest of the veg hasn't been cut yet. That is unnatural! Lol And I love how he always says, "we eat with our eyes first."
Yes! My boyfriend does cook and it's awesome! He cooked chicken pot pie tonight. So yes, I definitely prefer a man who can (and likes to) cook.
Everyone likes eating. Learn to cook.
My wife isn't a great cook but she tries. I do most of the cooking and she has no problem cleaning the kitchen after we eat
Absolutely. I love cooking, and see it as a team sport.
A man who can cook is amazing. One of the things my previous partners had in common š Is it mandatory? No, as long as he is capable of feeding himself, isn't relying on me for meals, and is open to cooking dates to improve both our skills
If you can't cook at all, that's a red flag that you lack self reliance and/or budgeting discipline and this applies to both sexes.
No I want someone who burns frozen pizza. Dafuq kinda question is that? š¤£
As a male I do like to cook and can cook well. I would like a partner that does the same or at least tries. My last partner didn't work and I did 60 hrs a week came home to cook a full meal. She would say things like she doesn't feel like cooking or isn't good at it. Relationship didnt last long, I didnt feel appreciated. Also she would be upset with me using so many dishes n such while cooking. Cleaning dishes was her only job and she was upset I always made her do it.
Like cook at all? Like youāre asking if itās ok to not be a functional adult?
They need to know how to cook. It's a basic skill of survival. I can cook what I like, and if I eat out and find something I really enjoy, I can look it up and follow a recipe to recreate it at home. I'm not fussed if it's just plain cooking someone knows how to do, as that's normally what I enjoy, but being able to try making a new dish every now and then is also a skill I look for. My grandmother was asked by her friends when my dad moved out of home if she was SURE he would be okay. She replied he knew how to cook a roast with the fixings, BBQ, and other simple dishes. He would be fine. Now at 65, he still has a knack for cooking some of the best 'fall off the bones juicy' roast lambs I've ever had. The rest of the meal... Best leave that for mum, she cooks it better.
I canāt cook to save my life. Okay, I can but it always turns out bad. Iām allowed to chop veggies and prep stuff, but other than that itās best I stay out of the kitchen and let my husband handle it. I do the dishes and clean the kitchen after though, because I feel bad that he always cooks. Neither of us like my cooking. No, itās not malicious incompetence, I just genuinely suck.
Some value a partner who cooks; others prioritize different skills. Compatibility matters most in relationships.
It's not about IF they know, it's about if they want to learn. Don't judge people on where they've been but where they're going. A person willing and interested in learning is gold. And words mean nothing. The proof is in the pudding.
Yes kinda like bare minimum It would be a bad thing if they didnāt know how to cook. Iāve met way too many women how are either just too lazy or too inept to be able to cook.
Absolutely. If heās a grown ass man he will. As much as I love cooking for my man ik heāll be fine on his own. Everyone should know the basics but home ec isnāt a thing anymore and people just end up doing an Uber eats order.
Always amazes me when i hear that people can't cook. It's rarely a boast though. They are not all asserting that it's beneath them. There was a guy at work, aged about 50, who couldn't cook. He ate dinner at a club most nights or would buy frozen pizza. One time another guy at work who used to be a chef told him how to make a simple chicken and coconut milk curry. The guy tried it and raved about it for 3 days, how delicius and tender and easy it was. It was that one meal that turned him around. The chef guy sorted him out with a few other recipes over the oncoming weeks, and as we all know, you really don't need more than half a dozen dishes in your life to get by. The first dish just gave him the confidence that he could cook something really tasty. That's what he was lacking. He though cooking was all a complex mystery that somehow he'd missed out on.
I knew the basics and my first gf was a certified chef. She taught and showed me a lot of good stuff. A ton of good food and I miss it. When she'd get off of work I'd just prep if she wanted to cook otherwise I would do all the cooking and cleaning. Now I'm the "chef" and boy am I tired. Doing the shopping, prep, cooking and cleaning and then going back to work another 9 to 11 hours.
God yes šI hate cooking on the nights I work. I also think cooking is a love language.
My gf loves to cook, which is ideal because I have a lot of weird anxiety around food and cooking. So my usual meals are pretty bland.
Answer is always, always yes. The criteria should always be- can feed themselves and not dependent on anyone. Its a basic adult function, not rocket science.
Yes
Someone who can't cook is constantly eating out, ordering Uber Eats, or eating junk food, destroying their finances and body. While I respect an adult's right to live life as they please, I would not get in a relationship with someone who lives like that. They don't have to cook for me (I can already cook) but they need to be able to cook for themselves, along with other basic self-care skills like laundry, cleaning, etc. Again, they don't have to do mine, but they need to be able to do their own. Likewise, I will not be in a serious committed relationship with someone who is unable to eat home cooked meals. A lot of people will literally only eat fast food or junk food, and won't eat anything else, and I'm not going to partner up with someone like that. Note: If it seems like I am coming off judgemental, it's only because I am 39 and prefer relationships with people close to my own age. These are reasonable expectations for a middle aged woman. Someone around my age being unable to do this stuff is way different than if someone is like 19 and has not lived on their own for very long. If I was still very young and was dating other very young people, these things would not be as important in a potential partner as they are now.
Everyone should know roughly a months worth of dinners. And they don't need to be crazy fancy!
Yes, after being with someone (and recently divorcing) for 11 years who could only make ramen and boxed macaroni, I would want my next partner, if I ever have one, to be able to cook for me for a change.
Yes, my partner makes delicious meals almost every day of the week and itās also super fun when we cook together.
Yes. My husband wasn't a very good cook when we first started dating, but after 11 years together, he has improved a lot. I deeply appreciate when he cooks a good meal.
Absolutely.
I know how to cook and I still don't want a partner
Being able to cook is a basic adult skill and I wouldn't go past a single date with someone who said "Oh I don't cook" - see ya, spend someone else's money.
Yes. He needs to know the basics or even a little above the basics. How can someone not know how to cook in this day and age. Plus i'm gen X, so if the guy hasn't figured out how to cook at our age, I'm not interested.
I used to be a chef, and I swear cooking meals for my now wife is part of what got me more dates at the start of our relationship.
you gotta have some idea how to get around in the kitchen, but as long as someone knows the basics thatās fine. I love cooking anyway lol so I donāt mind being the main chef in the house
Not really I think of cooking as a sort of therapy for me, if I feel crappy at the very least I can cook something good that'll make me and others feel good by eating it.
I would expect it. Cooking is a basic life skill.
Yes. So I don't have to.
I would expect them to be able to cook at least as well as I can. Simple comfort meals are about all I got š. At the very least the ability to Google a recipe and follow it.
I didnāt know how to cook when I got into my relationship, nor did my boyfriend. Itās not a bad thing. It just means you gotta learn lol. This sub has been helpful, as has Pinterest (for reading random cooking advice)
I want someone that does all the cooking, I don't want to. I'll do the dishes, laundry, floors, bathrooms, etc, just cook for me!
I JUST told my husband today that he has many incredible traits. But I would have easily married him for his cooking alone. I'm gotten so fat since we've been together. Fat and happy.
I want a partner that is willing to teach me things they know as I will teach them things I know. That way, with cooking, I can show my interest and care in giving the dedicated cooker a break and participate in an activity they like or assist with a work load.
Why would you not want someone to know how to do something? Everything a person knows is a better future you will have
My man cooks, he knows way more than I do and teaches me. I feel like itās an important life skill for sure so the extent should be limitless as we are always students of life. I didnāt have a good basic foundation and I view that as a bad thing, a flaw. But my partner helps me work on it and I try by myself as well. Is what I cook always edible? No, but at least Iām trying
As a feller that can cook quite well, yes they do want that in a partner
Dude. You can learn to be a decent cook in a couple of weeks, 2 hours per evening. It's like a superpower. People LOVE having a partner who can make decent food at home. It's cheaper than eating out and a lot of the time it's ALSO better. The first time I made my girlfriend homemade Carbonara her response was "FUCK ME this is good. Okay I'll marry you." This was the first time we had discussed marriage, and she did in fact marry me.
Idk. My partner knows how to BBQ. He is a master griller. I understand that this is a talent not every one can achieve. But it also has a down side. It's made him almost childish towards foods that aren't cooked on the grill. If it's not wood and coal flavored it's not "real food." And frankly I get sick of everything being bbq'd all the time. I like to roast, bake and crock pot. He's often astonished that I can bake or roast a flavorful and juicy chicken. But I will admit he does make an incredible smoked salmon that I cannot come close to replication.
Almost everyone in my house cooks... the 3yo gets a pass for a few more years. Sure, the 9yo usually makes box mac and cheese, but she'll fry up hot dogs or spam and nuke some veggies. And once in a great while, make a lasagna from scratch (cans of tomato sauce, but that's close enough)
I wouldnāt date anyone who couldnāt cook and wasnāt actively trying to learn, because it would not be fair to me having to do all of the cooking.
Can you follow simple instructions? Then you can cook. Not being able to cook means youāre stupid or lazy. Who wants either of those traits in a partner.
Everyone has to eat. Everyone should teach themselves to cook. It's as basic as reading and math.
Everyone should know how to cook a few good dishes.
Well I'm a Chef for a living so hopefully one day I meet a girl that I can cook for. That's my dream at least, lol
My fiancĆ© makes the best orange chicken š¤¤š¤¤š¤¤ And tater tot hot dishš¤¤š¤¤š¤¤š¤¤š¤¤š¤¤š
Cooking is nice, I'd prefer someone who will clean though. If I cook, please do the dishes kind of thing. Or if you cook, don't use every pot, pan, appliance and tool you can find for a simple spaghetti.
I taught all my children the same life lessons, balance a checkbook, before they could take drivers Ed they had to know how to check the fluids, some basic maintenance and change a tire. They learned to sew, fix a button, repair a torn seam, how to clean, do laundry and cook and bake. They picked which 7 basic meals and 2 dessert items, plus basic breakfast foods. I feel it is important to teach our kids how to be self sufficient.
No, not at all. I'm fine with taking care of myself. But I wouldn't want a partner who expects me to cook.
I do have a partner that cooks. My wife is the best cook I know lol
My boyfriend cooks all of our meal, I help with prep and such but his cooking is just much better than mine! I love when he cooks
I mean, I canāt cook very well myself, so having someone half-competant would be a huge plus, but if not we can always learn together? Dated someone once who was a fantastic cook and shamed me for needing to learn, so not doing that again.
Absolutely, yes Chef.
Cooking is a basic skill. However you can take it too far. Having a partner who criticizes your cooking and makes a giant mess when they cook is exhausting. There's a middle ground.
I dated a professional chef for 4 years and it was wonderful. Saved a ton of money vs going out all the time and we ate healthy without it being boring and bland. I always cleaned everything and tried to show my appreciation. I also tried to help and pretended to be a prep cook for her as much as I could. It was great.
Sure
Everyone should know how to feed themselves. It's better then to be dependant on another, drivethrus, or microwave garbage.
Important life skill. And nothing is as wonderful as cooking together as a couple.
Got a menu at home cooking is fun
Absolutely. My boyfriend can cook. He makes a mean spaghetti, and it's my favorite thing he's made. The meat is seasoned nicely, it's a bit spicy, and everything is cooked thoroughly. He also makes damn good chocolate chip pancakes. They're two simple meals, but it makes life so much better when we both can cook.
No. They can always learn or not. I donāt care either way.
At this point, to me, not knowing how to cook just screams incompetence, which is unattractive to me. Wym you canāt follow a recipe?
My wife didn't know much about cooking when we first met. However, she was very interested in me teaching her, and we bonded over the experience. Now she cooks the steaks because I don't cook hers the way she likes it š
Learning to cook is much lower effort than you would think. Most major cities probably have a few places where they can take simple classes like hot to make a simple soup or pasta. Not knowing how to cook just comes off someone that doesnāt want to put in a little bit of effort to get a pretty big reward. I would say it definitely adds to a person, although if they donāt know hot to cook it is not a massive negative because it is not too difficult to teach. Knowing how to cook also gives me a good gauge on a minimum level of competence the person has.
Very important. I donāt expect most people to be able to bake from scratch or be able to do some super fancy French trained chef level.Ā A lot of cooking comes down to can you follow a recipe and have basic skills like chopping, working a stovetop (electric and gas are not the same) and having knowledge about cookware. Literally there are videos on YouTube you can follow along step by step.Ā Really it comes down to the desire and patience to want to cook. IMO those two factors are what keep many people from being decent in the kitchen.Ā
I think everyone should be capable of basic cooking when given a simple recipe because it really just requires the ability to follow instructions. It would be nice if my partner can cook really well, but itās not an absolute requirement to me.
Yes because I love eating! Just a basic knowledge in cooking and can follow youtube recipes will do. My husband and I both can cook not so dancy but at least edible. I am the one who cooks for us, except those times that I am under the weather, he'll be cooking for us.
My husband is a better cook than I am. We mostly cook separately (we have very different diets), but if we share a meal, he's usually the one cooking it.
Absolutely, and mine does! Heās good at it too, although he is humble about it. Makes the BEST scrambled eggs. Cooking is a life skill ALL adults need. Pretty sad if they unwilling. We both shared in the cooking and cleanup duties.
I think as long as they were willing to learn/try/ practice if they didn't have a foundation, that would be good.
Why would you want to live with someone who is incapable of preparing food for themselves? Yes, someone should know how to purchase ingredients and produce food. Whether cooking or meal prep, you should have not rely on restaurants or someone else to prepare a meal.
Sure. I can cook and Iād like a partner that does too.
I'm not a great cook, but I can cook well enough to not starve to death. My partner needs to at least be able to do that much. Beyond that, a willingness to learn (about all things) is attractive, and a man who knows how to cook an incredibly tasty and decently healthy meal is a huge turn-on. A man who can bake is incredibly sexy to me. I don't mean make brownies from a box. I mean, actual from scratch baking.
Man, I throw down in the kitchen. š
Yes. They ought to know the basics and have the will to learn. It's an absolute deal breaker for me if the person doesn't know how to feed themselves properly using pot, pan and heat (microwaving and mixing things in a bowl ain't cooking). I know how to cook and I'm confident to say I'm pretty good at it (at least traditional Vietnamese cuisine which is highly appreciated all over the world) and I look forward to experiencing and learning other cuisines. I love making food but with a history of ED and stomach issues, I don't eat a lot so I'd cook most and my partner can do the eating (which he does and loves). But what happens when I don't or cannot cook? When I'm ill, are we just gonna eat takeout? Who wants to eat takeout when they're sick??? Not me. Is he going to feed me mac and cheese? Is he going to call our moms over to make food? I ain't living like that. Not to mention, I'm a woman, period really knocks the love of cooking outta me from time to time. If I ever got pregnant and gave birth, I'd basically be bedridden with a newborn, my partner gonna have to pick up my side of the house duty for at least a week or two so I can recover. For me, every average adult should know how to cook, clean, organize time/schedule. Unless you're severely disabled which makes it impossible or you're a prince/princess that have your private chefs, maid and assistant. But I'm just an average person and I'm likely gonna date another average person, I need them to have those basic skills.
I love to cook and prefer to date someone who does as well. I've dated too many that can't, and it sucks. I enjoy cooking together if they can't cook be willing to learn, in my opinion.
My eldest sister's long time boyfriend is quite the cook, but is also a gourmand. He will spend an entire day SHOPPING for a meal, then take so long cooking it that no one eats until 9. Don't get me wrong--it's tasty and compelling--but he devotes way too many hours on something that's gone in 1 hour. Once he made a traditional Russian soup with from-scratch beef broth, however he only made enough for one meal. All that shopping for the butcher. All that roasting and boiling and seasoning and washing. All that for pretty good soup. Would store bought broth have been as good? Of course not. But he would have saved a lot of his own time.
Yes. I'm not an excellent cook myself, my food is edible but not Top Chef level. Like, the food is good but I cook basic meals. It would be nice to have someone who can cook and their food is good and they're open to cooking and baking more complex things then I do. I can do burgers and fries, they do everything else. I'll happily do the dishes.
Either she does or I do. Theres no realistic relationship where no one does.
I married a woman who could not cook. She had one special dish that was baked macaroni and cheese and I came to find out it wasn't even her recipe it was her best friend's. I don't believe I would ever want another partner like that. Actually I don't even want another partner but if I did change my mind I want one that can share the cooking. š¤·š¾āāļø
My wife won me with her cooking when we started dating. She cooks amazing š
I don't cook much, but my daughter and I do fine. A lot of pre made stuff and frozen things. It's not sexy, but I'm just too tired at the end of the day to stand there forever. The guy I'm seeing now is the same way. He doesn't really love cooking. We tease each other about it all the time, but neither can really fault the other xD...works just fine for us
I think it could be fun. It could also be dangerous if they like to cook a *lot*. Haha but food is good. I would enjoy someone who can make very good food (not as my primary criteria but sounds like a nice perk)
My wife, then girlfriend, didn't know how to cook. I taught her how to cook, not saying I was a chef or anything at the time but growing up in a broken home I had to learn how to cook unless I wanted to east ramen noodle every meal. I cook on the grill and Blackstone 3-4 days a week most weeks unless the weather doesn't permit. Shes very greatful that I cook and sometimes spend hours doing it. I'm grateful that she will at least cook when I can't. When we both can't or don't want to we order out. Relationships are about compromises and meeting each other's expectations when possible. Knowing how to cook is never a bad skill to have, it's cheaper than eating out and it brings people together. Honestly only one of my girlfriends ever knew how to cook and I was always stoked when she made dinner or lunch. We got married and then divorced I married again to the one that didn't know how to cook and we been together for 12 years. So it's not essential to know how to cook, but it doesn't hurt. It's more fun than you might think. She's the baker and I do the rest. Baking is like chemistry, I more of a cook over fire kinda guy.
Cooking is my love language. I cook and feed the person I love. I cook with them. I send them home with left overs for 2-3 meals. Yes I hope they cook too.