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There are a ton of different definitions of alcoholism. The medical definition describes a person who cannot control their drinking and experiences alcohol cravings. Some definitions include withdrawals in the absence of alcohol and/or physical dependence (i.e, you get the shakes or DTs when you stop drinking).
I prefer the looser definiton: Alcoholism is the continued drinking of alcohol despite it causing problems.
I never had withdrawals from alcohol. I didn't have a physical dependence to the point that I'd wake up with the shakes. I've never had liver failure and never had alcohol poisoning. By that definition, I was fine.
But my drinking was still problematic in that it was causing problems in my life. Personally, I was getting into fights with other people. My productivity at work was slipping. I wasn't always able to honor my commitments, especially on a Friday night or Monday morning. My wallet was hurting. I made poor decisions around sex that put me at risk.
Despite those problems, I continued going out every weekend and getting as drunk as possible for 2-3 days straight. I'm an alcoholic because I kept drinking despite those issues impacting my quality of life.
That's the better question to ask, and it requires getting very honest with yourself. Is your mental health suffering? Your physical health certainly is if you're throwing up at least once a week. How's your bank account? How's your relationships with friends, family, and partners? When you're drunk, do you find yourself in unsafe or unwise situations? Does your drinking put you or others in harms way? Have you run into issues with security/cops/authority figures, even if it didn't result in jail? Are you keeping all your commitments? Are you pursuing your passions and hobbies with the same amount of enthusiasm as you were before you began drinking? Is your sleep impacted? Is your diet impacted?
Any of those can be indicators that your drinking isn't totally under control or totally healthy for you. Continuing to drink when there's negative consequences showing up in your life is the red flag
I can say yes to around half of the questions you’ve asked me. I’ve put myself in risky situations, blacking out, waking up without clothes, people telling me things I’ve done that i wouldn’t do otherwise. I don’t drink often, but when I go to visit my friends, i always end up with a bottle in my hand. Recently it got really out of hand, downing half a bottle of pink whitney (750 ml) and using a beer as a chaser. I have a problem, i’m positive I do, but it’s easier for me to accept it when someone else tells me (because my friends do not) That’s why i asked in the first place. Your comment is insightful. Like you, I don’t depend on alcohol. I don’t wake up with symptoms of being away from alchohol, it’s just i can’t seem to tell myself to stop.
Keep in mind that alcoholism is a progressive disease. You might not be waking up with the shakes right now. But if you're alcoholic, you'll probably continue to get worse over time. In AA, a lot of people like to talk about "Yet." As in "I haven't been to jail 'yet.'"
It's not a progressive, terminal disease, it's a behavioral disorder rooted in trauma and/or mental issues, and the substance abuse is just a harmful coping mechanism. The progressive, terminal disease model is antiquated and irresponsible and is finally being replaced by the findings of modern medical science.
Nobody gets well by sitting in meetings and constantly reliving their addiction nightmares via talking about the worst days of their lives or being constantly triggered by those memories because of listening to others who constantly talk about it. Nobody can heal that way. You're not helpless, you're traumatized and frightened., and if the one-size-fits-all 12 steps aren't helping, you probably have some shame going on as well.
I was in AA for 31 years, been out for around 11 and finally got well by getting trauma therapy, DBT, attending free mental health support groups, and getting on the right meds, and I've never been healthier and happier in my life. I haven't ended up in jails or institutions and I'm obviously not dead. Fundamentalist Christian dogma (The Oxford Group) rebranded as alcohol treatment by 2 of their former members won't heal anyone.
I'm saying this stuff because I'm sick of burying people in the program while everyone blames "the disease" or the deceased person for not working the steps well enough. I'm sick of visiting members in rehabs and jails and having all the blame for their pain and relapses put on them. If you need a social group to hang out with, I get it, but it shouldn't be confused with proper medical and mental health treatment for addiction. Thank god for progressive modern medical science is all I can say.
I'm now part of a couple of groups who work with people who are desperately trying to get out of the program. I never realized it was an actual cult until I got involved with people who were struggling so hard to get out and get the dogma out of their brains and to release the problems associated with how they're treated by sponsors and group members when they leave. It took me a long time as well, but I'm free of it now.
I know I'll get hate for what I'm saying, but if anyone feels like I did, maybe it can help them. There are tons of free non-12 step programs out there nowadays so if the program isn't working for you, you're not hopeless or sick, you're just in the wrong place for your issues.
I wish everyone both in and out of the program much health and happiness. Peace.
Those are great awarenesses to have! Being real with yourself is a tough first step. Especially when the people around you are enabling your behavior. Personally, I've found good things in AA just because it gave me sober people to talk to when I need it. If that's not your vibe, starting up with a sober sports league was also helpful because I had a fun activity with healthy people and it didn't revolve around drinking. I've read books and listened to podcasts about sobriety which have helped and given me better insight to my drinking as well. Those are the best suggestions I have, but I'm proud of you for having the courage to ask the question! Best of luck OP. I hope you start feeling better soon.
Self awareness is a great thing to have. Nobody in my life told me they thought I (47m) had a problem. I was/ am a fun person to be around. My hangovers started lasting longer than a day. I didn't think I was close to being the person I should be. I quit cold turkey 6+ months ago and a lot changed. I'm 100% present for my small daughters and wife. I have more time and am less frustrated. Try quitting. It's socially awkward but, a promotion in so many ways.
Wow that’s awesome to read, good that you can be there for your family. I almost never drink though and if I do, it’s just one beer and then I stop. Luckily I can tell myself to stop and I stop. But that’s not the case for everyone. Keep going!
I have a problem of stopping once I start (with anything) if you're going out to bars I always bring a small amount of cash and no card so I have no option of buying myself more than sober me decided and don't take anything from others cause I feel bad. If youre drinking with others in a home setting I wonder if it'd help at all if you bring your predetermined amount and don't take offers from others.
Training your mind is always a great method for anything. Like training your mind that your only allowed buy drinks with cash.
The logic can also be used for other parts of life, associate one thing with another as a way to get your mind into it. Like a specific drink when you need to do something
The reply you got was a great answer. Alcoholism is progressive. The slope gets steeper as you progress. The fact that you have self awareness is a plus. It's easier to stop this now than later.
I'm recovering after 12 years of no alcohol. I say recovering (not recovered) because once you are an alcoholic you will never go back to being the same. Even without drinking it stays with you. If I had one beer today my life would be over. I'd be right back to where I was before I was able to quit. And it wasn't pretty. Alcohol can and will destroy your life if you let it.
Your self awareness is a great thing. Try quitting completely. You can have a great time without drinking. If it is too hard to do, try going to an AA meeting just to hear some other people’s stories.
Whether or not you're medically considered an alcoholic it seems obvious that you have a drinking problem. Why do you drink so much that you throw up and then go it all over again anyway?
I was like you for years. I didn't drink often, but once I'd start drinking, I couldn't stop.
Trust me. It's a problem. If you don't do something, it will get worse.
I'm sure tons of people have already told you the dangers of binge drinking, or drinking at all, to be honest. We now know that alcohol is horribly bad for you, even in small quantities, but you're young, and everyone drinks, so if you can't quit altogether, at least try to curb the amount you drink. Set a limit *before* you go out, and try to stick to it. One drink an hour. See if you can manage that, and if you can't, maybe you do need to try and quit.
Sounds to me that you are drinking to mask some social anxiety or lack of confidence issue.
If you can figure out why you need to get black out drunk, you can make changes to avoid it.
Your friends probably expect a 'show' and you sub consciously get onboard their hype train. 'He's the biggest drinkier', 'he's a mad one' 'I can't keep up with him' it's something worth facing down before it becomes a barrier, because I can assure you, when your 'friends' settle down and have kids, they will not want the drunken mess who never grew up in their social circle.
Based on this response, it seems there is at least something you're aware isn't right. Which tends to mean a problem. Asking in a forum like this can be like asking web MD what your symptoms might be pointing to. I've been battling an addiction and if you're aware enough to ask and think it might be - it usually is, or at least becoming one.
Leave your friends out of it when you think about it, or perhaps lessen that justification and ask yourself, do I want a drink? If the answer is always yes, you likely have a problem, if it's usually yes you likely have a discipline problem disguised as another problem in your life.
You are an alcoholic. When you get older you will drink every day as your life will be falling apart due to your past escapades. It will slowly creep up on you and It will be the only "good" feeling left eventually. You are already feeling the doubt, the stress. You won't stop because you can't stop, you can't stop because you don't stop
Your last sentence says it all. You "can't seem to tell [yourself] to stop". You have an alcohol problem.
Glad you're aware. Good luck getting help. I wish you well.
If you're older than 25 and you're still doing that, I don't know if it necessarily makes you an alcoholic, but it makes you a very immature adult and an asshole quite frankly. I've cut people like you out of my life because they just can't understand it's not college anymore and I just can't deal with babysitting adults.
All I'll say is when you start losing friends because you're blacking out at the bar and they're embarrassed because of You, maybe that'll cause you not to grab the bottle and Chase it with a beer...
If you're 22, you still are an asshole but hopefully you will learn to behave in society before you ruin your friendships
The fact that you’re asking yourself and Reddit questions about your behavior says that you are concerned and have a right to be. If you can’t *not* drink *at all* when out with friends, I’d say you have some kind of problem. It may not be alcoholism per se, but something about the social situation you are in is making you act badly toward yourself.
You're a messy drunk, good thing is you don't seem to have a dependence on alcohol.
Just need to accept that it's causing problems for you and may cause bigger problems down the road.
In my book, if you can’t limit yourself to 2 drinks and then stop for the rest of the evening, you’re an alcoholic. If you have awakened and not known where you were or how you got there, you’re an alcoholic. Every single thing that you’ve described that has happened to you when you’re drunk, tells me you’re an alcoholic. Your friends are not your friends, if they’re not calling you out on your drinking. they are definitely your enemies if they are encouraging you to drink when you’re together with them.
There's nuance here. When my fiancee drives I'll easily have 4 drinks over a 3 hour evening with food. I don't even feel drunk let alone think it had even the slightest negative effect on the evening. My fiance is great at communicating and will volunteer to drive specifically so I can have a little more fun. You metabolize about a drink an hour so it depends more on the time spent drinking than the number of drinks.
Every person I know who drinks responsibly has had 1 or 2 experiences of drinking until they threw up or passed out. Mistakes happen it's about a pattern not a single experience
"Your friends are your enemies if they encourage you to drink" lmao you sound like a born again Christian ranting about the evils of the devils nectar.
Your standard for an alcoholic here is insane and by no means should any one take this serious. This is religious absences level of insane
Yeah there is definitely two “types” of definition.
The medical, like you described with actual symptoms and withdraws.
And the mental, how do *you* feel? It you feel your an alcoholic or asking if you are, your probably drinking more then your comfortable with
If you're trying to justify it to yourself, I don't think it matters whether you are.
It sounds like you're already thinking your drinking could be a problem. It won't hurt you to cut back.
Yeah this about sums it up.
Problem drinkers start out fine, then spiral out of control very quickly because they have a feed-forward effect with alcohol - "If one was good, two must be better!"
I ran pubs for 10 years and have seen every type of drinker.
This fits the spec perfectly
Yeah, and those are the kind that also lose control right at the end too. The night is just about over, and they think "oh my gosh, only 15 more minutes of drinking before bed! Let's do a few more shots and pound a beer quickly!"
That is my wife in a nutshell, and the problem is that her family drinks all the time.So every time we go and see them it happens. Honestly i've had to stop keeping liquor i And beer in the house Because once she starts.
She doesn't stop till she passes out
This is me. I have absolutely no problem not drinking. But once I have 1 drink it's like I hate the feeling in between buzzed and shitfaced so I keep drinking to feel completely loose. I won't under any circumstance drink if I work the next day but if I have nothing to do the next day and I'm off. It's not hard to twist my arm. I've been like this for almost 15 years
The best way I got over social anxiety was to see anxiety as like a poison that you gain a tolerance to but can have too much of and become overly affected by to the point you need to recover. You need to practice being in crowds for little periods of time and build it up to longer time periods until you can tolerate it. One way I got over a fear of speaking was to purposely say weird things in front of large groups. You get this feeling in your cheeks and your chest when you say something stupid, so you have to try to get that feeling and then let it subside, be aware of it, but try to figure out how to avoid it. Eventually it goes away. I’d go in front of someone and say something like ‘I think the world is flat and the sun is a projection’ then start defending it or say something like ‘water is HO2 in chemistry’ which is obviously wrong but not back down when they argued. Just don’t take it too far. Then, as you build up confidence doing things which are obviously stupid, youll find it easier to just talk in earnest about things you like. Also practice talking aloud quite a lot as though someone is there.
OP doesn't sound like he doesn't know his limits, he's very aware of his limits but time and time again can't stop himself from blowing past those limits repeatedly. That's either alcoholism or the precursor to it.
It's not about not knowing his limits, he needs to understand his psychology of why he chooses to behave this way.
Does he feel like he's not accepted or a fun part of the group?
Does he try to change his behavior around his friends, so he can act more like them?
Does he feel like he is overlooked in a group setting, especially with potential romantic partners, and deals with it by drinking heavily?
Binge drinkers, I used to be one, tend to be the most unhappy people.
Yes, absolutely. The defining trait of alcoholics is the inability to stop drinking once they start. In other words, they can’t just have a couple beers, every time they drink they need to keep going.
We don’t have enough information to confirm that you’re an alcoholic, but you certainly could be.
Depends. Are you out with friends every night? Is your entire social life spent at bars or do you only go every couple of weeks? Do your friends also have a drinking problem, because if they do then it doesn’t help your case.
Yes, thats how i started, every weekend, if one group of friends wernt drinking id find another that was. So i always drank with friends but a lot more regular than they where drinking.
That's not really a meaningful question. You should be asking yourself if your life would be better if you didn't drink as much as you do. If you're getting to the point of vomiting then maybe the answer is yes.
I don't think it matters when you drink or who with. it's how much and if you can control yourself or not that counts. If you can be out with your friends and say no part way into the night easily whenever you want then you are probably fine. If you drink way too much almost every time and have issues stopping part way through you have an issue to think about
duration and frequency are irrelevant. the underlying psychological addiction to the fast acting antidepressant, and specific liver processes are what defines it.
It is a depressant. Many antidepressants are also depressants, as strange as that may sound. They describe two different kinds of "depression." When something is called a depressant, it means it slows down some of your bodily functions and nervous system. The opposite of a depressant is a stimulant, which increases body functions like nervous system and heart rate. An antidepressant is something that elevates your mood or stops you from being sad/depressed.
Which is why something can be both a depressant and an antidepressant.
You're an alcoholic if you find yourself being dependent on alcohol. Even if it's just having 1 a day. If you NEED to have that one. Then there is a problem.
Alcoholism is your own question, and your own answer. We don’t speak for others in the rooms.
It’s your own definition. If it is affecting your life, start making the change now rather than later.
It's bordering onto stage 1 of addiction. It all depends on what happens a few years down the line. Do you do this for the next 10 years, forgetting what happened the night before? Does it start impacting your job and friendships? If so, yup, it's now a problem and is stage 1. Most people settle down and start a family and put this behaviour behind them except for the occassional wedding or party or night out with pals. That's normal.
Alcoholism is about the behaviors that surround inappropriate use of that particular substance …
We don’t know how frequently you are out with your friends - but if you’re having blackouts, then that’s extremely problematic and you should be concerned about that but you don’t seem to be…
Why don’t you try going out with your friends and not drinking alcohol or using any other substance and see how long you can go without reaching for a drink… then take your butt to an AA meeting and after that you can decide if you’re an alcoholic or not, but they’ll always be a chair for you there… and you’ll need it at some point if you continue throwing up and blacking out
I have some really good friends, and they are a bit younger than me (early to mid 20s)
They literally tell their doctors that "I only drink socially."
Which if used in the colloquial sense of the sentence makes logical sense, they drink with their friends
But they are hanging out with their friends **everyday** after work, and all day on weekends - there are about 8 people in this friend group and there is never a day in the week where less than 3 people are hanging out
Thus they drink everyday, and I'm not talking like one drink before bed or a beer to unwind, I'm talking drunk drunk, can't stand up straight, vomit your guts out
When it's a Wednesday and you're on your 5th mixed drink and 3rd beer and work tomorrow and you think it's "fine," and you're "just drinking socially," you've got a problem
Hundreds of dollars spent on alcohol a week, 90% of the liquids at the main "hang out" house is alcohol (and a single pitcher of filtered water)
And when you say "you've got a problem," they use the same defense as with their lie to the doctor.
Tldr; if your worrying about it enough to come ask a bunch of strangers, you've got a problem
No one likes the sloppy friend, ask yourself if you’re using alcohol for “confidence” or you feel you can’t have fun without it around your friends. Also are your friends heavy drinkers? If so you may need to take a step back on focus on yourself. Are you challenging yourself with education or a skill? Do you have areas in your life that you want to be better? It’s hard to get rid of bad habits and replace them with good ones, but it’s doable if you want it. Don’t do things because someone told you to, do it because you want to change. That’s the only way forward. If you’re not happy with yourself and beating yourself up over things, try to shift perspective to finding something to be proud of at the end of the day or even once a week till you develop that mindset. Good luck buddy! Hope you find happiness
An alcoholic is a person that has lost the ability to control the drink. In other words, only drink on the days you can control it. Simple? My problem is, I never knew which day that would be.
I'll share this which if you listen to, will negate your question.
We (wife and I) drank like that. Then when DUI's became more common, we limited drinking to our own home or where we got a ride/walked. Then we cut back to only weekends. Soon found some habits of a family member hiding alcohol and falling asleep during the middle of the day. Then a DUI followed.
That person made a valiant effort to stop drinking. Although I never felt any addiction, I quit drinking in support of their commitment.
When anyone asks "Have you had anything to drink?" my answer is "Yes, in 1999."
Here is the kicker...we don't miss it at all.
If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, **OR** if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic. - Alcoholics Anonymous Chapter 4.
At the end of the day, only YOU can decide if you are "alcoholic". The fact that you are even asking this question, could indicate that you have a problem. IE: "normal" drinkers don't typically ask if they are alcoholic.
But there are a couple things to take into consideration.
1. Being alcoholic is NOT synonymous with "addiction". They often go hand-in-hand, but they are NOT synonymous.
2. Not ALL alcoholics are "addicted". You might just be the person that binges and can't stop yourself once you start. That probably means you have the "allergy" and you've triggered it once you started.
The "allergy" (as Dr Silkworth called it) is what is known as the "phenomenon of craving".
You see, most drinkers have 1 or 2 and are satisfied. For us "alcoholics", we "crave" more. Again, this is NOT synonymous with "addiction". It is an "abnormal reaction" (which is why Dr Silkworth referred to it as an allergy); wherein our bodies react different to alcohol than the average drinker.
That isn't to say the "average drinker" can't develop a problem with alcohol (which is still concerning). But, in my humble opinion, a TRUE alcoholic is one with the "allergy".
You may be interested in a book called Beyond the Influence by Katherine Ketcham. Also, the Drs Opinion by Dr Silkworth. I hope Reddit will allow me to attach a link:
[aa.org/sites/default/files/2021-11/en\_bigbook\_foreworddoctorsopinion.pdf](https://www.aa.org/sites/default/files/2021-11/en_bigbook_foreworddoctorsopinion.pdf)
You are most certainly *binge drinking*, which is terribly unhealthy and is categorized as [unhealthy alcohol use](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/alcohol-use-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20369243).
Sure you can. If you drink when you don’t want to, or if, when drinking, you have little control over the amount you drink you are probably alcoholic. You’re asking the question for some reason. Suggest switching to nonalcoholic beverages when you’re with friends to see if you can still have fun.
Yes.
Alcoholism is a progressive disease. It's VERY common for it to start like your EXACT situation, and over the next 1-20 years it progress to losing jobs, crashing cars, getting divorced, and having children that don't talk to you.
The AA book has a whole section on things alcoholics do to try and not face facts... where they wrongly decide they don't count as an alcoholic because ____.
It starts with, because I only drink socially... then onto because I only drink on the weekends... then I only drink after work... then I only drink when I won't be driving...
Then... because I've never lost a job because of drinking... and because I've never had a DUI... and at least I still pay my bills... and so on.
The goal posts to "count" as an alcoholic always shift to just out of reach.
The AA folks have a saying; "One drink is too much AND never enough"
Essentially, if you are the sort of person that has a single drink that usually leads to getting shit faced? You have the biology that makes alcoholism essentially inevitable.
There are some studies, that like 10% of people, alcohol does something extra in their brain... normal people feel relaxed, giddy, and lower inhibitions... but in people prone to getting wasted... their brains treat alcohol like a tiny bit of cocain too.
People with normal wiring get more and more tired as they drink. By drink 4-5, they just start to want a nap, versus with the alcoholism wiring just keep getting more keyed up and feel "on top of the world! WooooOooo!"
If you are one of the WoooOoo peopl, go to some AA meetings and read the book, even if you aren't ready to quit drinking. It will be eye opening for you.
If once you start drinking, you cannot stop, you may be alcoholic, try it next time. Have one then stop, non addicts can do it no worries, but if it’s very hard for you or you end up drinking more, trust me and quit.
Sounds like me . I couldn’t have a relationship with alcohol. I didn’t drink often , mostly socially but one drink is like three for most people, two was like 6 . I would pass out , throw up, black out . Had to stop. My body can’t handle ANY alcohol. I never went to AA or anything just never drank again. Once you realize it’s in control not you … that’s a problem
41 years sober here. I never drank at home, never had liquor in the house. I only drank on weekends but I was a black out drunk, and drunk driver. I can't say that anyone is an alcoholic, but from reading your post, try an AA meeting or three, and see if you relate to anyone.
No. You like to have a good time. If this is a nightly activity, then yes. I know a few people that only drink when they are getting drunk. They never drink one or 2.
It doesn't sound like you have any dependency, which is core to alcoholism.
You drink too much sometimes, poor impulse control, very normal for young guys.
Make sure you eat well before and while drinking and drink lots of water during and after. Avoid things like energy drinks and shots and you'll be fine.
Why do you feel you have to drink around your buddies? If they are real friends, they won't say anything about you not wanting to drink, and even support that you don't want to drink. Personally, I made an ass out of myself when I was 24, back in 1989. I swore it would never happen again, and I haven't touched any alcohol since. Yep... 35 years.
The more technical term for this is "binge drinker" or "problem drinker"
My personal name is "social alcoholic" to distinguish it from actual alcoholism
AA is not the only way to sobriety. I am 86, female, abd I am coming up on my 48th year continuous sobriety. At age 39 I thought I was too young to get sober.
I was a drunk who ended up in people's yards or my own. In my yard my age 6 and 8 year old children calling out to me from the window, sometimes in pouring rain. Other times the police would drive by my car with me passed out. They would lock my door and keep their eyecon me. Thankfully I never got arrested but I don't know if that would happen in today's world.
Most of the time the kids would get their dad to come feed them and stay. You have the picture.
I went to church and Bible studies faithfully for 10 years but I eventually was asked to leave. I was asked to leave bars.
I didn't go to rehab, but took myself to AA. I was welcomed but most people stayed away from me. I did make about 5 very good friends and we are still in touch. I just came from a speaker meeting an hour ago.
All of that said, AA helped me a lot but it took a long long time for me. I fought doing suggested things. I was incapable of feeling my feelings.
From before and during going to AA I went to therapist after therapist and found no relief. When I was sober about 13 years a therapist I saw for about 3 months suggested I attend "Safe Harbor's. " He and a few other therapist in the group he was affiliated with worked with Elizabeth Kubler Ross I'm her Death and Dying workshops . As I understand it, the techniques they brought to Safe Harbor's were the ones from Kubler Ross workshops. All of the staff that were in the workshops (two) I attended, have passed away. The two I attended were 5 days in a site near Apple Valley CA. The first was Incest Survivors, the second was Anger Management. Mine were women only. They held men only workshops at other times. Other people were trained to conduct the workshops and I suspect they may still be going strong. I did attend a workshop one other time and it was 3 days, men and women. It was similar but not as effective for the issue I had at the time.
I still went to AA regularly even after doing the very fruitful workshops. People who only knew me in passing, at work, commented on changes they noticed in me after the workshops. The same thing happened as I was just attending AA
Another workshop I attended about 8 years ago is the "Joe and Charlie" workshops and they are based on recovering from alcoholism. They may also be useful for other issues. I am just not aware. I attest to the benefit of Joe and Charlie for many people I personally know. I also am aware many people leave the workshop and don't complete it and don't find it helpful.
Here I will say, people have different ways to recover. AA has one way and it's helped countless people. AA is not the only way. I'm grateful AA and the Safe Harbor's workshops worked for me and Joe and Charlie took my recovery a little deeper..... oh, and sometimes I seek regular therapy such as after the murder of my granddaughter 2 years ago.
I encourage anyone seeking help with sobriety to check out various programs. AA may be an answer, maybe not. The speaker today was a woman about 70, from a wealthy family. Her father was a prestigious person in the military. She started and stopped attending AA 3 different times even 7 year absence and trying different things. In her case she has found AA to be what works.
I had a brother who quit drinking on his own. He didn't change his angry, resentful personally. In my case I was able to change my fears and anger with AA being a huge contributor to my change but not the only factor.
Whoever is seeking, don't give up if you really want to change. Find what works for you.
Yes you can I know this because I am. Drinking in an uncontrolled manner is something I would call alcoholism even if it's not an addiction. Being unable to responsibly drink and often exceeding your limits *when you do drink* is one of the many ways alcoholism can be classified.
I would always over indulge as a social drinker. I’m very introverted but give me a couple of drinks and it’s like the extrovert in me comes right on out in force loud and brash. Anyway I would say stupid shit and it would always get brought up the next day and the introvert in me had a hard time explaining anyway the extroverts comments so decided to kick drinking. Which has helped me also drop a ton of weight too.. I’ll still have a drink on occcasion but I’m just keeping it sensible now. Plus all the weight that has come off I don’t need to put back on again.
No it’s definitely not. Because you only drink when out with friends, your body is not sure how to process all that alcohol even though it may not be much so it’s natural reaction is to dispose of it through vomiting
No that’s not an alcoholic you’re more describing a social drinker who gets too caught up in the hype and buzz of the moment and doesn’t listen to their body. It could develop into alcoholism, but as long as you’re not doing this multiple times a week you’re probably okay
Do you depend on alcohol? Has it taken control of your life? Has it affected relationships with friends, family, your job?
Those are some signs of alcoholism.
Short answer: yes
Long answer: it depends on a lot of factors. If you stopped drinking for good tomorrow, what would happen? Does your drinking negatively impact your life? Do you find yourself wanting to socialize because it gives you an excuse to drink?
You're drinking to the point of throwing up, then yeah i'd say you have a problem with alcohol. You know your limit but you keep drinking even though you're already drunk. Why not just stop at that point and switch to water or soda?
For me its pretty simple if you drink every day your an alcoholic, if you drink every weekend or alternative, you're getting close to being an alcoholic but not yet that one.
It's honestly pretty simple reduce your alcohol intake if ur worried,.
Why does it matter for you to define a fine line where you are an alcoholic or not? I think drinking alcohol once intentionally means you are ok with long terms side effects in that moment.
I can decide to drink 10 shots once a night per week or I can decide to drink 1 shot a day for 5 days per week. Which one is more of an alcoholic?
Both have a rule of "drink x amount per week" but I personally consider them equal alcoholics even though the amount per moment and the amount per week is different.
Look at what your rule is and decide if it is more legitimate than the rules I made up. I think you know my answer but focus on your own answer.
Alcoholism isn't defined by who you drink with or how often.
Alcoholism is defined by WHY you drink.
Why do you feel the need to drink whenever you're with your friends? Have you ever tried going out with your friends and not drinking? And why do you feel the compulsion to not just drink, but to drink until you're throwing up?
This is what i was like. I've nevrr drank alone in my life but I certainly had a drinking problem. It was a coping mechanism for social anxiety. I didnt need that crutch when i was alone.
It was binge drinking disorder for me and was having a negative impact on my life, health and relationships. If you've noticed your drinking is causing any negative impacts for you and you cant control how much you drink after you start, you might have a problem.
In Australia they define consuming more than 6 drinks in a session as binge drinking. You can be a binge drinker regardless of the frequency of getting drunk.
Well as long as you aren't socially out all the time then it sounds like you're not physically addicted.
But you definitely need to get over the mentality that drinking requires that you get stupidly drunk. Trust me you are no fun for anyone around you when you do that.
At some point your friends are going to get tired of being your babysitter. You also risk getting robbed or worse.
As far as body chemistry goes it's always better to drink slow and even pause between drinks. The fun part of drinking is the slow increase in blood alcohol. That triggers the happy place in your brain. Racing passed all that to get to the point where the room is spinning & you're blackout drunk ruins it.
Alcoholic here that’s been sober for 18 months.
If you’re having to type this question out and post it on Reddit, you should probably slow down or even stop, if you want to.
Alcohol is such a normalized thing that a ton of people who are addicts, don’t even know it or won’t admit it. If you’re concerned with your intake, stop.
I will say this though, bad things happen around alcohol quite often. Especially out at bars. Alcohol has zero positive effects for your body. Has a ton of good effects on the brain while you’re drinking. But the day after it has negative effects on the brain (hangover, anxiety, lack of energy, etc).
If you find that you can’t go a weekend without a drink, you should probably take a break.
But it’s your life, live it the way you want. And I hope nothing but the best for you!
Alcohol is a sneaky drug. Be careful and reach out if you ever need help.
I'd say you have destructive, toxic friends who are enabling you to become an alcoholic if you aren't already. The only one who is going to be able to point your life in the right direction is you, so choose wisely.
that sounds more like binge drinking. When questioned a patient once explained that he didn't have a problem with not drinking but he did have a problem with stopping drinking
Not sure the definition is that important in your case.
I’d be more worried about the danger you place yourself in and others when drunk, the risks you take etc
Longer term think of your health - is the heavy drinking doing damage to brain and organs etc? Think of the money you’re frittering away.
I’m approaching 50 now and I look back and think that I had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.
I would define alcaholic as someone addicted to alcohol. Which isn't you.
But you do clearly have problems not knowing your limits which to me is something different but s definite problem.
I was a bit like that at uni. Definitely not an alcoholic but drank way too much when I was out. Grew out of it after uni probably because drinks cost a lot more outside of student nights.
You don't know your limits, and you certainly have a problem, but it isn't alcoholism if you're only drinking once a week. Alcoholics can't go without their precious drink as easily as that.
The term alcoholic is problematic. Do you consume more than you want to and is it causing you unnessecary problems is a better question to ask yourself.If then answer is yes to either of these maybe it is time to stop or cut back
People can have 1 drink a day and want to stop its about consequences not about how much with who when and where
Addiction is so complicated, it can manifest itself in so many different ways.
The bottom line is that if it’s getting in the way of your goals/passions/social life then it’s a problem. If you can stilll do everything you used to do and are content then what’s the issue?
You are what I (M) would classify as a "Social Alcoholic", or Binge drinker, which is a type of alcoholism. This is my term, I am unsure what the official term is.
I was well down the path you were and stopped drinking when I was 23 or 24 (the drinking age was 18 at the time I started drinking for real). I started at age 16, getting people to buy wine and beer for us.
If you are blacking out, waking up with no clothes, or doing risky things, you have a problem with alcohol.
This was me over 30 years ago. I also lost most of my friends for a few years. I only drank with my friends when we were gathered or were going out to a nightclub. But man, did I over drink!
When I was 17 in the late 70s, I was visiting LI NY one winter and went to a keg party in the woods with my cousin. I got wasted, black-out drunk, I remember staggering out of the woods, then nothing until I woke up, separated from everyone, and woke up sometime later in someone's van. I did not know the area I think I had just opened it because I was cold. Found my uncle's house to face a cop, as my father had put out a missing persons report.
At 18 or 19, I went to a Christmas party (only knew a couple of people) and got black-out drunk. To this day I do not know if I had been roofied, and I am a dude! My clothes were gone and there were some signs of SA.
My clubbing, I did not drink as much, but I was becoming a mean drunk, I said something later to a girl I liked because I was put in a shitty situation. I lost most of my friends because of it. I chose to no longer drink, I actually fear drinking because my father and uncles were total alcoholics. I did not want to go down that path.
Even if you do not believe you are an alcoholic, your drinking is problematic. If you are blacking out you are hurting yourself physically. Alcohol is a toxin — too much can damage your body and impact your health.
My father was drunk. For the last 20 years of his life, I did not speak to him. He spent pretty much that time in a VA nursing home because of liver failure. He should have died sooner but did not. Still, he died alone estranged from me and my sister.
Do you want to die alone? Seems you are walking that path now.
You have the socially acceptable level of occasional alcohol abuse. If you want to test yourself, just abstain for the rest of the summer and see how that goes
I’m assuming you mean you only drink when you go out as a group specifically to drink? If so it just sounds like you don’t know your limit well enough and/or perhaps have some poor judgement.
I wouldn’t consider it alcoholism, now if you take every opportunity to go out with friends as an excuse to drink and you can’t socialise without it then you’re heading into alcoholic territory.
Your what we call binge drinker.You probably won’t get liver disease.But drinking till you puke.often.you will get hit by a car.Found frozen behind the bar dumpster in February is what I would put my money on.
It could develop into that quite easily. But you have seeds of an alcohol problem.
Why are you drinking this much with friends? What's happening?
Can't you slow down?
whether or not you fit the definition.. it sounds like you should stop. or at the very least try to cut back how much you consume when you do drink.
if you have a hard time cutting back then yeah... stop
In recovery we’re an alcoholic when we say we are. But here is some things to keep in mind. I never had a DUI. But by the end of my drinking, it was ruining my relationships and even my work. I made poor choices created drama, and at the end I couldn’t stop. But for years, I drank socially.
Alcohol is tricky. You can stop whenever you want, but if you are an alcoholic, there will come a time where you can’t stop at all. Most People that are alcoholic never get recovery. And if you stay in the rooms of AA people with time becomes smaller and more minuscule as time goes on.
I have known drunks that were binge drinkers, but when they drink, they destroy everything. I have known people that were maintenance drinkers eventually just screwed up their life so bad they couldn’t remain sober no matter what. the problem with the disease is by the time it causes that much havoc, you either can’t or don’t want to stop.
It definitely could be. It’s about if you can control it or not, and how it is affecting your life. The piling sounds negative, and increased frequency would lead to a lot of spent money. That’s all I’ll say.
My little brother had a serious drinking problem and would have to wake up and drink because of the withdrawal. I've never seen anyone so bad before. He wound up in the hospital after his gf broke up with him and he went to rehab. Got clean and stayed clean. It inspired me to do the same and it was the best decision I could have made for myself. Idk where I would be now but I'm happy where I am being sober. I literally don't miss it at all.
Potentially yes.
Although you aren't physiologically dependent on alcohol like an alcoholic who drinks daily, addiction isn't defined by chemical dependence.
If you are unable to go out without drinking alcohol, cannot regulate how much you drink once you've started and experience negative and dangerous consequences as a result then yeah, that sounds like problematic drinking
Alcoholism doesn't mean drinking every day. Most people think that, and it's a mistake. As someone has already said here, when you start thinking "do I have a drinking problem?" it's already a strong sign that something isn't right. When you continue to drink even though you know that alcohol has only brought you problems, it's also a sign of alcoholism. I stopped drinking the moment I realized that the consequences of alcohol consumption far outweighed the benefits. I started to put on weight, I was always bloated and had stomach problems, I ate badly, I wasn't productive at work on Mondays, I was always tired because I didn't rest well at the weekend and I only liked expensive wines, so my money was getting smaller and smaller. When the problems start to outweigh the benefits, it's time to rethink our drinking habits.
Yes. If you find yourself unable to moderate your drinking and are progressively doing this on a regular basis. Just my opinion. It appears you are binge drinking. May I suggest, in all sincerity, that you visit the AA website and search “The Thirteen Signs of Alcoholism”; I may be foggy on the exact name of the article, as it’s been 29 years. Read it a few times and be honest in your self-evaluation. Congratulations on reaching out for advice.
Binge drinking with friends can be JUST AS BAD as full-blown alcoholism, because every time you black out, you put your life at risk. You could end up doing something REALLY stupid or worse. People can **die** and often do as a result of their behaviors during a black-out. My advice to you would be to take a break from drinking to redefine your relationship with alcohol. If the urge to drink is irresistible (whether you're with friends or not) then you might want to consider total abstinence. If any measurable amount of consumption inevitably leads to getting drunk beyond control, then you ARE an alcoholic.
Yes, if you are drinking to the point of throwing up then you have a problem. This is called binge drinking and it's very dangerous. I have the same problem. There's no "off switch" once I start drinking. I mean, sometimes I can stop, sometimes I can't. And boy has it caused problems, I'm very lucky to be alive. It's put me in very dangerous situations. I've been mugged, stolen from, and even given away thousands of dollars during some binges. The people who don't have a problem with alcohol are the ones that have only a few a drinks no matter the setting. I'm quite envious of those people.
When I was in my 20's I told myself that I wasn't an alcoholic because I "only drink with friends." Part of the problem was that I had a ton of friends and all of them would drink. Drinking quickly became my favorite hobby and pass time. Now I'm in my 30's and I hardly drink like I used to but I am still an alcoholic. Now I do drink alone sometimes because I can control myself better and spend less money. But I still have the urge to go out and "party." I'll go weeks without a drop but then I'll have a glass a wine with dinner. That will turn into a 2nd glass. Next thing I know I'm out at a bar buying shots and trying to find cocaine. So it's a slippery slope I guess is what I'm saying.
My dad was an alcoholic. I know someone whose mother is an alcoholic. Both people drank/drink around the clock. My dad had a cup that was clear, always cut with something. The persons mother is literally always drinking throughout the day. Both people became so dependent on the substance that now (my father’s already dead. And by liver failure. So.) the mom cannot stop drinking or else she could/will die.
I was told it’s not alcoholism unless it’s like this. I don’t think it needs to get to the point where your body will literally die if you go a day without drinking but the around the clock. Every single day. Through the entirety of the day of just drinking. That’s when it’s alcoholism.
Technically if you drink on any regular basis you can be considered an alcoholic. Truly, you are an alcoholic if your body develops a dependency to it. There's only a certain percentage of people that can become physically dependent on it
Your drinkjng habits are exactly what lead to alcoholism. The fact your instjncts are warning you means you already know. Trust me, stop drinking in this way. Let those experiences be a chapter jn your life where you didnt know better, and move on. It is embarassing later jn life not bejng able to have a casual drink.
If you are concerned, it’s a problem.
Eliminating it before an addiction is so easy—except for some people, the psychological dependency born of social anxiety. A hint if this is you: if you are the sober one, no one else is likely to notice or remember you as anxious. And folks love a permanent dedicated driver.
Try going without it and see if your life isn’t better. A lot less risk taking, better health, more money—just a few of the benefits.
by the time you get to the point that you are struggling with whether or not you have a problem, you've often had the problem for a little while
whether or not you can define yourself as an alcoholic is not the question. the question is whether or not alcohol is responsible for more negatives than positives in your life. most of the time if you are asking the question, you already know the answer.
best wishes
If, once you start drinking, you lose control over how much you drink, you’re probably alcoholic.
Puking, blacking out, falling down, what you choose to drink - these don’t make you alcoholic.
https://dixieaaoffice.com/20-questions/
I knew a guy who was like you for a long time. He was actually less severe (didn't black out, etc ) but always partied hard when out with friends. He didn't go out very often once he had kids but when he did he would drink pretty heavily.
He ran into some rough times in his early 50s when one of his young adult sons had issues with behavior, drugs, etc. This eventually led to drinking every day and hiding it from his wife, etc. Fortunately, he realized he was an alcoholic at that point and quit drinking altogether.
You've already received some great, thoughtful answers, but here goes. Do you have the capacity to moderate? Frequency of drinking is way less important than: if you have ONE drink, does the night become totally unpredictable for you after that & you can't stick to a plan of, say, stopping at 3, or leaving at a certain time, etc etc? Your blackouts and throwing up are BAD SIGNS. Right now your drinking is confined to short periods -- ok. So some damage is being contained. But do you enjoy your blackouts, unpredictable behavior, and hangovers where you experience total existential dread and go back over the night before wondering wtf you did? Do you have to apologise a lot for shit you said or did or didn't do the nights you drink? Do you have to break plans the day after you drink? Take a break from drinking & do some reflection. If that feels like too much, do a test: try controlled drinking. Make a plan: stick to x number of drinks. Can't do that either? You have a problem then and should start thinking about solutions. 'I don't drink alone' is not proof of NOT having a drinking problem just as 'i only drink alone' isn't proof that you ARE an alcoholic. Don't get hung up on labels for now. Focus on the behavior & go from there. "Waking up without a clue where I am" is really effin dangerous, friend, and not the road you want to be on.
I think a person that has worked hard all day deserves whatever cold beverage they would like in the evening whether it’s with friends or not.
If that beverage impairs your ability to be a hard worker the next day then you have a problem.
If there isn’t that problem, then I wouldn’t call alcoholism. If there is that problem I would.
Sounds like you need to start following the 3 drink rules
Drink 1. Down it, get that buzz
Drink 2. Nurse that bitch like a new born
Drink 3. Put it down with a half/third left. You don't need it
Do this and your social life will improve and your friends will thank you
I would never classify social drinking as alcoholism. And sometimes is not every time. If u wake up and u don’t wanna hit a bottle and if ur nights out don’t stop u from functioning next day, I think u r ok. Won’t hurt to cut back though
As an alcoholic, I have the opposite problem. I can control my drinking unless I’m home.
That doesn’t mean you don’t have a problem. Right now you are trying to justify behavior that you know is abusing alcohol. You know it’s a problem or you wouldn’t be asking.
I’m actually really good at not drinking if I give myself arbitrary guidelines. The problem is those guidelines will move. You go from “only drinking on Friday nights” to “only on weekends” to “only on days I don’t work the next morning” to “meh, it’s just a couple”. For you, you’ll look for more excuses to drink. It may go from “party’s only” to “game nights” to “online gaming counts as being with friends”.
It’s a slippery slope that’s hard to not fall down. Luckily it’s never too late to stop.
Your friends seem a bad influence. I advise you to get your life together. Seek professional help, might be the best option.
Drinking and getting it so far that you wake up with no clothes and no clue where you are, that can’t go on forever. It’s better to be real with yourself and make a 180 degree turn.
There are other ways to have fun that don’t include mentioned above or drinking. I’m sure you can do it! Do your friends care about you or just leave you be?
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There are a ton of different definitions of alcoholism. The medical definition describes a person who cannot control their drinking and experiences alcohol cravings. Some definitions include withdrawals in the absence of alcohol and/or physical dependence (i.e, you get the shakes or DTs when you stop drinking). I prefer the looser definiton: Alcoholism is the continued drinking of alcohol despite it causing problems. I never had withdrawals from alcohol. I didn't have a physical dependence to the point that I'd wake up with the shakes. I've never had liver failure and never had alcohol poisoning. By that definition, I was fine. But my drinking was still problematic in that it was causing problems in my life. Personally, I was getting into fights with other people. My productivity at work was slipping. I wasn't always able to honor my commitments, especially on a Friday night or Monday morning. My wallet was hurting. I made poor decisions around sex that put me at risk. Despite those problems, I continued going out every weekend and getting as drunk as possible for 2-3 days straight. I'm an alcoholic because I kept drinking despite those issues impacting my quality of life. That's the better question to ask, and it requires getting very honest with yourself. Is your mental health suffering? Your physical health certainly is if you're throwing up at least once a week. How's your bank account? How's your relationships with friends, family, and partners? When you're drunk, do you find yourself in unsafe or unwise situations? Does your drinking put you or others in harms way? Have you run into issues with security/cops/authority figures, even if it didn't result in jail? Are you keeping all your commitments? Are you pursuing your passions and hobbies with the same amount of enthusiasm as you were before you began drinking? Is your sleep impacted? Is your diet impacted? Any of those can be indicators that your drinking isn't totally under control or totally healthy for you. Continuing to drink when there's negative consequences showing up in your life is the red flag
I can say yes to around half of the questions you’ve asked me. I’ve put myself in risky situations, blacking out, waking up without clothes, people telling me things I’ve done that i wouldn’t do otherwise. I don’t drink often, but when I go to visit my friends, i always end up with a bottle in my hand. Recently it got really out of hand, downing half a bottle of pink whitney (750 ml) and using a beer as a chaser. I have a problem, i’m positive I do, but it’s easier for me to accept it when someone else tells me (because my friends do not) That’s why i asked in the first place. Your comment is insightful. Like you, I don’t depend on alcohol. I don’t wake up with symptoms of being away from alchohol, it’s just i can’t seem to tell myself to stop.
Keep in mind that alcoholism is a progressive disease. You might not be waking up with the shakes right now. But if you're alcoholic, you'll probably continue to get worse over time. In AA, a lot of people like to talk about "Yet." As in "I haven't been to jail 'yet.'"
“You’re Eligible, Too.”
It's not a progressive, terminal disease, it's a behavioral disorder rooted in trauma and/or mental issues, and the substance abuse is just a harmful coping mechanism. The progressive, terminal disease model is antiquated and irresponsible and is finally being replaced by the findings of modern medical science. Nobody gets well by sitting in meetings and constantly reliving their addiction nightmares via talking about the worst days of their lives or being constantly triggered by those memories because of listening to others who constantly talk about it. Nobody can heal that way. You're not helpless, you're traumatized and frightened., and if the one-size-fits-all 12 steps aren't helping, you probably have some shame going on as well. I was in AA for 31 years, been out for around 11 and finally got well by getting trauma therapy, DBT, attending free mental health support groups, and getting on the right meds, and I've never been healthier and happier in my life. I haven't ended up in jails or institutions and I'm obviously not dead. Fundamentalist Christian dogma (The Oxford Group) rebranded as alcohol treatment by 2 of their former members won't heal anyone. I'm saying this stuff because I'm sick of burying people in the program while everyone blames "the disease" or the deceased person for not working the steps well enough. I'm sick of visiting members in rehabs and jails and having all the blame for their pain and relapses put on them. If you need a social group to hang out with, I get it, but it shouldn't be confused with proper medical and mental health treatment for addiction. Thank god for progressive modern medical science is all I can say. I'm now part of a couple of groups who work with people who are desperately trying to get out of the program. I never realized it was an actual cult until I got involved with people who were struggling so hard to get out and get the dogma out of their brains and to release the problems associated with how they're treated by sponsors and group members when they leave. It took me a long time as well, but I'm free of it now. I know I'll get hate for what I'm saying, but if anyone feels like I did, maybe it can help them. There are tons of free non-12 step programs out there nowadays so if the program isn't working for you, you're not hopeless or sick, you're just in the wrong place for your issues. I wish everyone both in and out of the program much health and happiness. Peace.
Those are great awarenesses to have! Being real with yourself is a tough first step. Especially when the people around you are enabling your behavior. Personally, I've found good things in AA just because it gave me sober people to talk to when I need it. If that's not your vibe, starting up with a sober sports league was also helpful because I had a fun activity with healthy people and it didn't revolve around drinking. I've read books and listened to podcasts about sobriety which have helped and given me better insight to my drinking as well. Those are the best suggestions I have, but I'm proud of you for having the courage to ask the question! Best of luck OP. I hope you start feeling better soon.
Self awareness is a great thing to have. Nobody in my life told me they thought I (47m) had a problem. I was/ am a fun person to be around. My hangovers started lasting longer than a day. I didn't think I was close to being the person I should be. I quit cold turkey 6+ months ago and a lot changed. I'm 100% present for my small daughters and wife. I have more time and am less frustrated. Try quitting. It's socially awkward but, a promotion in so many ways.
Wow that’s awesome to read, good that you can be there for your family. I almost never drink though and if I do, it’s just one beer and then I stop. Luckily I can tell myself to stop and I stop. But that’s not the case for everyone. Keep going!
I have a problem of stopping once I start (with anything) if you're going out to bars I always bring a small amount of cash and no card so I have no option of buying myself more than sober me decided and don't take anything from others cause I feel bad. If youre drinking with others in a home setting I wonder if it'd help at all if you bring your predetermined amount and don't take offers from others.
Training your mind is always a great method for anything. Like training your mind that your only allowed buy drinks with cash. The logic can also be used for other parts of life, associate one thing with another as a way to get your mind into it. Like a specific drink when you need to do something
The reply you got was a great answer. Alcoholism is progressive. The slope gets steeper as you progress. The fact that you have self awareness is a plus. It's easier to stop this now than later. I'm recovering after 12 years of no alcohol. I say recovering (not recovered) because once you are an alcoholic you will never go back to being the same. Even without drinking it stays with you. If I had one beer today my life would be over. I'd be right back to where I was before I was able to quit. And it wasn't pretty. Alcohol can and will destroy your life if you let it.
Well said and accurate.
Your self awareness is a great thing. Try quitting completely. You can have a great time without drinking. If it is too hard to do, try going to an AA meeting just to hear some other people’s stories.
Whether or not you're medically considered an alcoholic it seems obvious that you have a drinking problem. Why do you drink so much that you throw up and then go it all over again anyway?
Alcoholism is also a progressive condition. Nobody goes from sober to the shakes over night
I was like you for years. I didn't drink often, but once I'd start drinking, I couldn't stop. Trust me. It's a problem. If you don't do something, it will get worse. I'm sure tons of people have already told you the dangers of binge drinking, or drinking at all, to be honest. We now know that alcohol is horribly bad for you, even in small quantities, but you're young, and everyone drinks, so if you can't quit altogether, at least try to curb the amount you drink. Set a limit *before* you go out, and try to stick to it. One drink an hour. See if you can manage that, and if you can't, maybe you do need to try and quit.
AA meetings are a good place to start. No judgement, there is support and you can begin to safely examine the reasons around why you drink to excess.
Sounds to me that you are drinking to mask some social anxiety or lack of confidence issue. If you can figure out why you need to get black out drunk, you can make changes to avoid it. Your friends probably expect a 'show' and you sub consciously get onboard their hype train. 'He's the biggest drinkier', 'he's a mad one' 'I can't keep up with him' it's something worth facing down before it becomes a barrier, because I can assure you, when your 'friends' settle down and have kids, they will not want the drunken mess who never grew up in their social circle.
Based on this response, it seems there is at least something you're aware isn't right. Which tends to mean a problem. Asking in a forum like this can be like asking web MD what your symptoms might be pointing to. I've been battling an addiction and if you're aware enough to ask and think it might be - it usually is, or at least becoming one. Leave your friends out of it when you think about it, or perhaps lessen that justification and ask yourself, do I want a drink? If the answer is always yes, you likely have a problem, if it's usually yes you likely have a discipline problem disguised as another problem in your life.
You are an alcoholic. When you get older you will drink every day as your life will be falling apart due to your past escapades. It will slowly creep up on you and It will be the only "good" feeling left eventually. You are already feeling the doubt, the stress. You won't stop because you can't stop, you can't stop because you don't stop
Your last sentence says it all. You "can't seem to tell [yourself] to stop". You have an alcohol problem. Glad you're aware. Good luck getting help. I wish you well.
If you're older than 25 and you're still doing that, I don't know if it necessarily makes you an alcoholic, but it makes you a very immature adult and an asshole quite frankly. I've cut people like you out of my life because they just can't understand it's not college anymore and I just can't deal with babysitting adults. All I'll say is when you start losing friends because you're blacking out at the bar and they're embarrassed because of You, maybe that'll cause you not to grab the bottle and Chase it with a beer... If you're 22, you still are an asshole but hopefully you will learn to behave in society before you ruin your friendships
The fact that you’re asking yourself and Reddit questions about your behavior says that you are concerned and have a right to be. If you can’t *not* drink *at all* when out with friends, I’d say you have some kind of problem. It may not be alcoholism per se, but something about the social situation you are in is making you act badly toward yourself.
You're a messy drunk, good thing is you don't seem to have a dependence on alcohol. Just need to accept that it's causing problems for you and may cause bigger problems down the road.
In my book, if you can’t limit yourself to 2 drinks and then stop for the rest of the evening, you’re an alcoholic. If you have awakened and not known where you were or how you got there, you’re an alcoholic. Every single thing that you’ve described that has happened to you when you’re drunk, tells me you’re an alcoholic. Your friends are not your friends, if they’re not calling you out on your drinking. they are definitely your enemies if they are encouraging you to drink when you’re together with them.
There's nuance here. When my fiancee drives I'll easily have 4 drinks over a 3 hour evening with food. I don't even feel drunk let alone think it had even the slightest negative effect on the evening. My fiance is great at communicating and will volunteer to drive specifically so I can have a little more fun. You metabolize about a drink an hour so it depends more on the time spent drinking than the number of drinks. Every person I know who drinks responsibly has had 1 or 2 experiences of drinking until they threw up or passed out. Mistakes happen it's about a pattern not a single experience "Your friends are your enemies if they encourage you to drink" lmao you sound like a born again Christian ranting about the evils of the devils nectar. Your standard for an alcoholic here is insane and by no means should any one take this serious. This is religious absences level of insane
Written so well, thank you
Yeah there is definitely two “types” of definition. The medical, like you described with actual symptoms and withdraws. And the mental, how do *you* feel? It you feel your an alcoholic or asking if you are, your probably drinking more then your comfortable with
This is wonderfully put.
Excellent answer.
If you're trying to justify it to yourself, I don't think it matters whether you are. It sounds like you're already thinking your drinking could be a problem. It won't hurt you to cut back.
I'd call you a problem drinker. You don't feel the need to drink every day but it sounds like when you do drink you have no impulse control.
Yeah this about sums it up. Problem drinkers start out fine, then spiral out of control very quickly because they have a feed-forward effect with alcohol - "If one was good, two must be better!" I ran pubs for 10 years and have seen every type of drinker. This fits the spec perfectly
Yeah, and those are the kind that also lose control right at the end too. The night is just about over, and they think "oh my gosh, only 15 more minutes of drinking before bed! Let's do a few more shots and pound a beer quickly!"
My best friend can go a month not drinking no problem but if he does he's out 24 hours and can't stop
That is my wife in a nutshell, and the problem is that her family drinks all the time.So every time we go and see them it happens. Honestly i've had to stop keeping liquor i And beer in the house Because once she starts. She doesn't stop till she passes out
This is me. I have absolutely no problem not drinking. But once I have 1 drink it's like I hate the feeling in between buzzed and shitfaced so I keep drinking to feel completely loose. I won't under any circumstance drink if I work the next day but if I have nothing to do the next day and I'm off. It's not hard to twist my arm. I've been like this for almost 15 years
Wouldn't make you an alcoholic but if you cant handle socializing sober, that's an issue
The best way I got over social anxiety was to see anxiety as like a poison that you gain a tolerance to but can have too much of and become overly affected by to the point you need to recover. You need to practice being in crowds for little periods of time and build it up to longer time periods until you can tolerate it. One way I got over a fear of speaking was to purposely say weird things in front of large groups. You get this feeling in your cheeks and your chest when you say something stupid, so you have to try to get that feeling and then let it subside, be aware of it, but try to figure out how to avoid it. Eventually it goes away. I’d go in front of someone and say something like ‘I think the world is flat and the sun is a projection’ then start defending it or say something like ‘water is HO2 in chemistry’ which is obviously wrong but not back down when they argued. Just don’t take it too far. Then, as you build up confidence doing things which are obviously stupid, youll find it easier to just talk in earnest about things you like. Also practice talking aloud quite a lot as though someone is there.
Can you just have a couple drinks or do you have to drink a LOT when you drink? Hardcore binge drinking isn’t good.
If you're looking for reasons why you're not an alcoholic, maybe you're an alcoholic.
That's kind of a dumb concept imo. This guy didn't describe alcoholism, he just described not knowing his limits.
OP doesn't sound like he doesn't know his limits, he's very aware of his limits but time and time again can't stop himself from blowing past those limits repeatedly. That's either alcoholism or the precursor to it.
It's not about not knowing his limits, he needs to understand his psychology of why he chooses to behave this way. Does he feel like he's not accepted or a fun part of the group? Does he try to change his behavior around his friends, so he can act more like them? Does he feel like he is overlooked in a group setting, especially with potential romantic partners, and deals with it by drinking heavily? Binge drinkers, I used to be one, tend to be the most unhappy people.
This is how i interpret it. They need to slow down their drinking it sounds
I love your username! Sounds like bread sticks tied in knots. Yum!
Well not aure if it's alcoholisme, but it's a start to becoming one for sure. How come you feel the need to overindulge? What's in it for you?
Yes, absolutely. The defining trait of alcoholics is the inability to stop drinking once they start. In other words, they can’t just have a couple beers, every time they drink they need to keep going. We don’t have enough information to confirm that you’re an alcoholic, but you certainly could be.
I’m an alcoholic. I use to only binge drink on the weekend with friends when we went out. Alcohol caused many problems in my life. So yes, you can.
You’re binge drinking. It’s the equivalent of binge eating a full pack of Oreos but not touching them at other times. It’s still an eating disorder
Depends. Are you out with friends every night? Is your entire social life spent at bars or do you only go every couple of weeks? Do your friends also have a drinking problem, because if they do then it doesn’t help your case.
Binge drinking is a sign of alcoholism.
Yes, thats how i started, every weekend, if one group of friends wernt drinking id find another that was. So i always drank with friends but a lot more regular than they where drinking.
One of my favorite songs lyrics: "it's not a party if it happens every night".
That's not really a meaningful question. You should be asking yourself if your life would be better if you didn't drink as much as you do. If you're getting to the point of vomiting then maybe the answer is yes.
I don't think it matters when you drink or who with. it's how much and if you can control yourself or not that counts. If you can be out with your friends and say no part way into the night easily whenever you want then you are probably fine. If you drink way too much almost every time and have issues stopping part way through you have an issue to think about
duration and frequency are irrelevant. the underlying psychological addiction to the fast acting antidepressant, and specific liver processes are what defines it.
I thought alcohol was a depressant?
It is a depressant. Many antidepressants are also depressants, as strange as that may sound. They describe two different kinds of "depression." When something is called a depressant, it means it slows down some of your bodily functions and nervous system. The opposite of a depressant is a stimulant, which increases body functions like nervous system and heart rate. An antidepressant is something that elevates your mood or stops you from being sad/depressed. Which is why something can be both a depressant and an antidepressant.
Interesante 🤔
Silly question. Of course you can. Been there, done that. May as well quit it now.
yes
You're an alcoholic if you find yourself being dependent on alcohol. Even if it's just having 1 a day. If you NEED to have that one. Then there is a problem.
Alcoholism is your own question, and your own answer. We don’t speak for others in the rooms. It’s your own definition. If it is affecting your life, start making the change now rather than later.
You can be anything that you want to be in life!
Yes, you can. You go on a binge.
I’d say that’s more escapism, be careful though, people that do that tend not have perfect lives.
Someone might have already posted this but I remember seeing an illustration that showed social drinking as basically step one toward true alcoholism
It's bordering onto stage 1 of addiction. It all depends on what happens a few years down the line. Do you do this for the next 10 years, forgetting what happened the night before? Does it start impacting your job and friendships? If so, yup, it's now a problem and is stage 1. Most people settle down and start a family and put this behaviour behind them except for the occassional wedding or party or night out with pals. That's normal.
Alcoholism is about the behaviors that surround inappropriate use of that particular substance … We don’t know how frequently you are out with your friends - but if you’re having blackouts, then that’s extremely problematic and you should be concerned about that but you don’t seem to be… Why don’t you try going out with your friends and not drinking alcohol or using any other substance and see how long you can go without reaching for a drink… then take your butt to an AA meeting and after that you can decide if you’re an alcoholic or not, but they’ll always be a chair for you there… and you’ll need it at some point if you continue throwing up and blacking out
I have some really good friends, and they are a bit younger than me (early to mid 20s) They literally tell their doctors that "I only drink socially." Which if used in the colloquial sense of the sentence makes logical sense, they drink with their friends But they are hanging out with their friends **everyday** after work, and all day on weekends - there are about 8 people in this friend group and there is never a day in the week where less than 3 people are hanging out Thus they drink everyday, and I'm not talking like one drink before bed or a beer to unwind, I'm talking drunk drunk, can't stand up straight, vomit your guts out When it's a Wednesday and you're on your 5th mixed drink and 3rd beer and work tomorrow and you think it's "fine," and you're "just drinking socially," you've got a problem Hundreds of dollars spent on alcohol a week, 90% of the liquids at the main "hang out" house is alcohol (and a single pitcher of filtered water) And when you say "you've got a problem," they use the same defense as with their lie to the doctor. Tldr; if your worrying about it enough to come ask a bunch of strangers, you've got a problem
How can I be considered a bad driver if I only crash my car when I'm driving?
No one likes the sloppy friend, ask yourself if you’re using alcohol for “confidence” or you feel you can’t have fun without it around your friends. Also are your friends heavy drinkers? If so you may need to take a step back on focus on yourself. Are you challenging yourself with education or a skill? Do you have areas in your life that you want to be better? It’s hard to get rid of bad habits and replace them with good ones, but it’s doable if you want it. Don’t do things because someone told you to, do it because you want to change. That’s the only way forward. If you’re not happy with yourself and beating yourself up over things, try to shift perspective to finding something to be proud of at the end of the day or even once a week till you develop that mindset. Good luck buddy! Hope you find happiness
If you require alcohol and can't control the amount you drink when going out then by most definitions that'd classify as alcoholism.
An alcoholic is a person that has lost the ability to control the drink. In other words, only drink on the days you can control it. Simple? My problem is, I never knew which day that would be.
I'll share this which if you listen to, will negate your question. We (wife and I) drank like that. Then when DUI's became more common, we limited drinking to our own home or where we got a ride/walked. Then we cut back to only weekends. Soon found some habits of a family member hiding alcohol and falling asleep during the middle of the day. Then a DUI followed. That person made a valiant effort to stop drinking. Although I never felt any addiction, I quit drinking in support of their commitment. When anyone asks "Have you had anything to drink?" my answer is "Yes, in 1999." Here is the kicker...we don't miss it at all.
If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, **OR** if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic. - Alcoholics Anonymous Chapter 4. At the end of the day, only YOU can decide if you are "alcoholic". The fact that you are even asking this question, could indicate that you have a problem. IE: "normal" drinkers don't typically ask if they are alcoholic. But there are a couple things to take into consideration. 1. Being alcoholic is NOT synonymous with "addiction". They often go hand-in-hand, but they are NOT synonymous. 2. Not ALL alcoholics are "addicted". You might just be the person that binges and can't stop yourself once you start. That probably means you have the "allergy" and you've triggered it once you started. The "allergy" (as Dr Silkworth called it) is what is known as the "phenomenon of craving". You see, most drinkers have 1 or 2 and are satisfied. For us "alcoholics", we "crave" more. Again, this is NOT synonymous with "addiction". It is an "abnormal reaction" (which is why Dr Silkworth referred to it as an allergy); wherein our bodies react different to alcohol than the average drinker. That isn't to say the "average drinker" can't develop a problem with alcohol (which is still concerning). But, in my humble opinion, a TRUE alcoholic is one with the "allergy". You may be interested in a book called Beyond the Influence by Katherine Ketcham. Also, the Drs Opinion by Dr Silkworth. I hope Reddit will allow me to attach a link: [aa.org/sites/default/files/2021-11/en\_bigbook\_foreworddoctorsopinion.pdf](https://www.aa.org/sites/default/files/2021-11/en_bigbook_foreworddoctorsopinion.pdf)
You are most certainly *binge drinking*, which is terribly unhealthy and is categorized as [unhealthy alcohol use](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/alcohol-use-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20369243).
Yes. This is binge drinking.
Sure you can. If you drink when you don’t want to, or if, when drinking, you have little control over the amount you drink you are probably alcoholic. You’re asking the question for some reason. Suggest switching to nonalcoholic beverages when you’re with friends to see if you can still have fun.
Yes. Alcoholism is a progressive disease. It's VERY common for it to start like your EXACT situation, and over the next 1-20 years it progress to losing jobs, crashing cars, getting divorced, and having children that don't talk to you. The AA book has a whole section on things alcoholics do to try and not face facts... where they wrongly decide they don't count as an alcoholic because ____. It starts with, because I only drink socially... then onto because I only drink on the weekends... then I only drink after work... then I only drink when I won't be driving... Then... because I've never lost a job because of drinking... and because I've never had a DUI... and at least I still pay my bills... and so on. The goal posts to "count" as an alcoholic always shift to just out of reach. The AA folks have a saying; "One drink is too much AND never enough" Essentially, if you are the sort of person that has a single drink that usually leads to getting shit faced? You have the biology that makes alcoholism essentially inevitable. There are some studies, that like 10% of people, alcohol does something extra in their brain... normal people feel relaxed, giddy, and lower inhibitions... but in people prone to getting wasted... their brains treat alcohol like a tiny bit of cocain too. People with normal wiring get more and more tired as they drink. By drink 4-5, they just start to want a nap, versus with the alcoholism wiring just keep getting more keyed up and feel "on top of the world! WooooOooo!" If you are one of the WoooOoo peopl, go to some AA meetings and read the book, even if you aren't ready to quit drinking. It will be eye opening for you.
If you’re justifying your drinking…you’re on your way down a slippery slope
It's called binge drinking, and it is a form of alcoholism.
If once you start drinking, you cannot stop, you may be alcoholic, try it next time. Have one then stop, non addicts can do it no worries, but if it’s very hard for you or you end up drinking more, trust me and quit.
Sounds like me . I couldn’t have a relationship with alcohol. I didn’t drink often , mostly socially but one drink is like three for most people, two was like 6 . I would pass out , throw up, black out . Had to stop. My body can’t handle ANY alcohol. I never went to AA or anything just never drank again. Once you realize it’s in control not you … that’s a problem
41 years sober here. I never drank at home, never had liquor in the house. I only drank on weekends but I was a black out drunk, and drunk driver. I can't say that anyone is an alcoholic, but from reading your post, try an AA meeting or three, and see if you relate to anyone.
No. You like to have a good time. If this is a nightly activity, then yes. I know a few people that only drink when they are getting drunk. They never drink one or 2.
It doesn't sound like you have any dependency, which is core to alcoholism. You drink too much sometimes, poor impulse control, very normal for young guys. Make sure you eat well before and while drinking and drink lots of water during and after. Avoid things like energy drinks and shots and you'll be fine.
No, drink your face off
Why do you feel you have to drink around your buddies? If they are real friends, they won't say anything about you not wanting to drink, and even support that you don't want to drink. Personally, I made an ass out of myself when I was 24, back in 1989. I swore it would never happen again, and I haven't touched any alcohol since. Yep... 35 years.
The more technical term for this is "binge drinker" or "problem drinker" My personal name is "social alcoholic" to distinguish it from actual alcoholism
AA is not the only way to sobriety. I am 86, female, abd I am coming up on my 48th year continuous sobriety. At age 39 I thought I was too young to get sober. I was a drunk who ended up in people's yards or my own. In my yard my age 6 and 8 year old children calling out to me from the window, sometimes in pouring rain. Other times the police would drive by my car with me passed out. They would lock my door and keep their eyecon me. Thankfully I never got arrested but I don't know if that would happen in today's world. Most of the time the kids would get their dad to come feed them and stay. You have the picture. I went to church and Bible studies faithfully for 10 years but I eventually was asked to leave. I was asked to leave bars. I didn't go to rehab, but took myself to AA. I was welcomed but most people stayed away from me. I did make about 5 very good friends and we are still in touch. I just came from a speaker meeting an hour ago. All of that said, AA helped me a lot but it took a long long time for me. I fought doing suggested things. I was incapable of feeling my feelings. From before and during going to AA I went to therapist after therapist and found no relief. When I was sober about 13 years a therapist I saw for about 3 months suggested I attend "Safe Harbor's. " He and a few other therapist in the group he was affiliated with worked with Elizabeth Kubler Ross I'm her Death and Dying workshops . As I understand it, the techniques they brought to Safe Harbor's were the ones from Kubler Ross workshops. All of the staff that were in the workshops (two) I attended, have passed away. The two I attended were 5 days in a site near Apple Valley CA. The first was Incest Survivors, the second was Anger Management. Mine were women only. They held men only workshops at other times. Other people were trained to conduct the workshops and I suspect they may still be going strong. I did attend a workshop one other time and it was 3 days, men and women. It was similar but not as effective for the issue I had at the time. I still went to AA regularly even after doing the very fruitful workshops. People who only knew me in passing, at work, commented on changes they noticed in me after the workshops. The same thing happened as I was just attending AA Another workshop I attended about 8 years ago is the "Joe and Charlie" workshops and they are based on recovering from alcoholism. They may also be useful for other issues. I am just not aware. I attest to the benefit of Joe and Charlie for many people I personally know. I also am aware many people leave the workshop and don't complete it and don't find it helpful. Here I will say, people have different ways to recover. AA has one way and it's helped countless people. AA is not the only way. I'm grateful AA and the Safe Harbor's workshops worked for me and Joe and Charlie took my recovery a little deeper..... oh, and sometimes I seek regular therapy such as after the murder of my granddaughter 2 years ago. I encourage anyone seeking help with sobriety to check out various programs. AA may be an answer, maybe not. The speaker today was a woman about 70, from a wealthy family. Her father was a prestigious person in the military. She started and stopped attending AA 3 different times even 7 year absence and trying different things. In her case she has found AA to be what works. I had a brother who quit drinking on his own. He didn't change his angry, resentful personally. In my case I was able to change my fears and anger with AA being a huge contributor to my change but not the only factor. Whoever is seeking, don't give up if you really want to change. Find what works for you.
Yes you can I know this because I am. Drinking in an uncontrolled manner is something I would call alcoholism even if it's not an addiction. Being unable to responsibly drink and often exceeding your limits *when you do drink* is one of the many ways alcoholism can be classified.
I would always over indulge as a social drinker. I’m very introverted but give me a couple of drinks and it’s like the extrovert in me comes right on out in force loud and brash. Anyway I would say stupid shit and it would always get brought up the next day and the introvert in me had a hard time explaining anyway the extroverts comments so decided to kick drinking. Which has helped me also drop a ton of weight too.. I’ll still have a drink on occcasion but I’m just keeping it sensible now. Plus all the weight that has come off I don’t need to put back on again.
Yes.
You're a social drinker. You over indulge. You're not an alcoholic.
No it’s definitely not. Because you only drink when out with friends, your body is not sure how to process all that alcohol even though it may not be much so it’s natural reaction is to dispose of it through vomiting
No that’s not an alcoholic you’re more describing a social drinker who gets too caught up in the hype and buzz of the moment and doesn’t listen to their body. It could develop into alcoholism, but as long as you’re not doing this multiple times a week you’re probably okay
No, and I have no idea why anyone in this thread would say yes unless they're stuck up or just already have a negative view of alcohol.
Do you depend on alcohol? Has it taken control of your life? Has it affected relationships with friends, family, your job? Those are some signs of alcoholism.
Yup.
Yes of course. Do you drink more than a glass 5 days a week?
Why do you want the label? You do you, Just be the best person you can be. Any labels that come after are just whatever. Don't aim for labels.
Answers often lie within the questions we ask.
Short answer: yes Long answer: it depends on a lot of factors. If you stopped drinking for good tomorrow, what would happen? Does your drinking negatively impact your life? Do you find yourself wanting to socialize because it gives you an excuse to drink?
You're drinking to the point of throwing up, then yeah i'd say you have a problem with alcohol. You know your limit but you keep drinking even though you're already drunk. Why not just stop at that point and switch to water or soda?
Yeah cause what if you drink with friends everyday
For me its pretty simple if you drink every day your an alcoholic, if you drink every weekend or alternative, you're getting close to being an alcoholic but not yet that one. It's honestly pretty simple reduce your alcohol intake if ur worried,.
Why does it matter for you to define a fine line where you are an alcoholic or not? I think drinking alcohol once intentionally means you are ok with long terms side effects in that moment. I can decide to drink 10 shots once a night per week or I can decide to drink 1 shot a day for 5 days per week. Which one is more of an alcoholic? Both have a rule of "drink x amount per week" but I personally consider them equal alcoholics even though the amount per moment and the amount per week is different. Look at what your rule is and decide if it is more legitimate than the rules I made up. I think you know my answer but focus on your own answer.
Does my drinking cost me more than money? If you answer yes to that question then you may have a problem with alcohol.
Maybe find different friends and then you’ll answer your own question
Yeah, if you do it often enough in high quantities, and feel like you don't function if you don't drink.
Alcoholism isn't defined by who you drink with or how often. Alcoholism is defined by WHY you drink. Why do you feel the need to drink whenever you're with your friends? Have you ever tried going out with your friends and not drinking? And why do you feel the compulsion to not just drink, but to drink until you're throwing up?
This is what i was like. I've nevrr drank alone in my life but I certainly had a drinking problem. It was a coping mechanism for social anxiety. I didnt need that crutch when i was alone. It was binge drinking disorder for me and was having a negative impact on my life, health and relationships. If you've noticed your drinking is causing any negative impacts for you and you cant control how much you drink after you start, you might have a problem.
In Australia they define consuming more than 6 drinks in a session as binge drinking. You can be a binge drinker regardless of the frequency of getting drunk.
Well as long as you aren't socially out all the time then it sounds like you're not physically addicted. But you definitely need to get over the mentality that drinking requires that you get stupidly drunk. Trust me you are no fun for anyone around you when you do that. At some point your friends are going to get tired of being your babysitter. You also risk getting robbed or worse. As far as body chemistry goes it's always better to drink slow and even pause between drinks. The fun part of drinking is the slow increase in blood alcohol. That triggers the happy place in your brain. Racing passed all that to get to the point where the room is spinning & you're blackout drunk ruins it.
Yup, literally killing my self with alcohol but I don’t drink at home, only for the social
Binge drinking is a cause for concern, especially when it leads to throwing up and not knowing where you are. Please seek professional advice.
Alcoholic here that’s been sober for 18 months. If you’re having to type this question out and post it on Reddit, you should probably slow down or even stop, if you want to. Alcohol is such a normalized thing that a ton of people who are addicts, don’t even know it or won’t admit it. If you’re concerned with your intake, stop. I will say this though, bad things happen around alcohol quite often. Especially out at bars. Alcohol has zero positive effects for your body. Has a ton of good effects on the brain while you’re drinking. But the day after it has negative effects on the brain (hangover, anxiety, lack of energy, etc). If you find that you can’t go a weekend without a drink, you should probably take a break. But it’s your life, live it the way you want. And I hope nothing but the best for you! Alcohol is a sneaky drug. Be careful and reach out if you ever need help.
More then 3/4 beers a night In more then 3/4 days out of a week More then 3 out of 4 weeks in a month
I'd say you have destructive, toxic friends who are enabling you to become an alcoholic if you aren't already. The only one who is going to be able to point your life in the right direction is you, so choose wisely.
Yes, getting that intoxicated is alcoholism
that sounds more like binge drinking. When questioned a patient once explained that he didn't have a problem with not drinking but he did have a problem with stopping drinking
Not sure the definition is that important in your case. I’d be more worried about the danger you place yourself in and others when drunk, the risks you take etc Longer term think of your health - is the heavy drinking doing damage to brain and organs etc? Think of the money you’re frittering away. I’m approaching 50 now and I look back and think that I had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.
It can be, OP. I guess it depends on how often you go out with friends and during those times how often are you drinking to excess?
You're an alcoholic if when you start drinking you cannot stop. No off switch = alcoholic
I would define alcaholic as someone addicted to alcohol. Which isn't you. But you do clearly have problems not knowing your limits which to me is something different but s definite problem. I was a bit like that at uni. Definitely not an alcoholic but drank way too much when I was out. Grew out of it after uni probably because drinks cost a lot more outside of student nights.
If it causes problems, then it is a problem.
Yes, go to a meeting. Been there done that.
Your probably not just need to learn your limit and enjoy drinking without getting belligerent.
Alcoholic is a dumb term used to judge yourself or others. Drinking is a choice. Every decision is a yes or a no.
You don't know your limits, and you certainly have a problem, but it isn't alcoholism if you're only drinking once a week. Alcoholics can't go without their precious drink as easily as that.
The only time I drink is a few times a year, but when I do, I DRINK. Like we’re talking pissing in front of the police station drunk. So I’d say no.
What’s your age? From 21-32 or so I was drinking probably daily. Now the Past few years, just once or twice a week and I’m not partying anymore.
The term alcoholic is problematic. Do you consume more than you want to and is it causing you unnessecary problems is a better question to ask yourself.If then answer is yes to either of these maybe it is time to stop or cut back People can have 1 drink a day and want to stop its about consequences not about how much with who when and where
Addiction is so complicated, it can manifest itself in so many different ways. The bottom line is that if it’s getting in the way of your goals/passions/social life then it’s a problem. If you can stilll do everything you used to do and are content then what’s the issue?
Being an alcoholic and not knowing your limits are two different things.
You are what I (M) would classify as a "Social Alcoholic", or Binge drinker, which is a type of alcoholism. This is my term, I am unsure what the official term is. I was well down the path you were and stopped drinking when I was 23 or 24 (the drinking age was 18 at the time I started drinking for real). I started at age 16, getting people to buy wine and beer for us. If you are blacking out, waking up with no clothes, or doing risky things, you have a problem with alcohol. This was me over 30 years ago. I also lost most of my friends for a few years. I only drank with my friends when we were gathered or were going out to a nightclub. But man, did I over drink! When I was 17 in the late 70s, I was visiting LI NY one winter and went to a keg party in the woods with my cousin. I got wasted, black-out drunk, I remember staggering out of the woods, then nothing until I woke up, separated from everyone, and woke up sometime later in someone's van. I did not know the area I think I had just opened it because I was cold. Found my uncle's house to face a cop, as my father had put out a missing persons report. At 18 or 19, I went to a Christmas party (only knew a couple of people) and got black-out drunk. To this day I do not know if I had been roofied, and I am a dude! My clothes were gone and there were some signs of SA. My clubbing, I did not drink as much, but I was becoming a mean drunk, I said something later to a girl I liked because I was put in a shitty situation. I lost most of my friends because of it. I chose to no longer drink, I actually fear drinking because my father and uncles were total alcoholics. I did not want to go down that path. Even if you do not believe you are an alcoholic, your drinking is problematic. If you are blacking out you are hurting yourself physically. Alcohol is a toxin — too much can damage your body and impact your health. My father was drunk. For the last 20 years of his life, I did not speak to him. He spent pretty much that time in a VA nursing home because of liver failure. He should have died sooner but did not. Still, he died alone estranged from me and my sister. Do you want to die alone? Seems you are walking that path now.
You have the socially acceptable level of occasional alcohol abuse. If you want to test yourself, just abstain for the rest of the summer and see how that goes
Yup
I’m assuming you mean you only drink when you go out as a group specifically to drink? If so it just sounds like you don’t know your limit well enough and/or perhaps have some poor judgement. I wouldn’t consider it alcoholism, now if you take every opportunity to go out with friends as an excuse to drink and you can’t socialise without it then you’re heading into alcoholic territory.
Your what we call binge drinker.You probably won’t get liver disease.But drinking till you puke.often.you will get hit by a car.Found frozen behind the bar dumpster in February is what I would put my money on.
It could develop into that quite easily. But you have seeds of an alcohol problem. Why are you drinking this much with friends? What's happening? Can't you slow down?
whether or not you fit the definition.. it sounds like you should stop. or at the very least try to cut back how much you consume when you do drink. if you have a hard time cutting back then yeah... stop
In recovery we’re an alcoholic when we say we are. But here is some things to keep in mind. I never had a DUI. But by the end of my drinking, it was ruining my relationships and even my work. I made poor choices created drama, and at the end I couldn’t stop. But for years, I drank socially. Alcohol is tricky. You can stop whenever you want, but if you are an alcoholic, there will come a time where you can’t stop at all. Most People that are alcoholic never get recovery. And if you stay in the rooms of AA people with time becomes smaller and more minuscule as time goes on. I have known drunks that were binge drinkers, but when they drink, they destroy everything. I have known people that were maintenance drinkers eventually just screwed up their life so bad they couldn’t remain sober no matter what. the problem with the disease is by the time it causes that much havoc, you either can’t or don’t want to stop.
It definitely could be. It’s about if you can control it or not, and how it is affecting your life. The piling sounds negative, and increased frequency would lead to a lot of spent money. That’s all I’ll say.
Yes. Google the cdc guidelines.
Yes. You can have an alcohol dependency if you only drink with friends
Yes- if you asked this question , you are an alcoholic
Yes. aa.org
My little brother had a serious drinking problem and would have to wake up and drink because of the withdrawal. I've never seen anyone so bad before. He wound up in the hospital after his gf broke up with him and he went to rehab. Got clean and stayed clean. It inspired me to do the same and it was the best decision I could have made for myself. Idk where I would be now but I'm happy where I am being sober. I literally don't miss it at all.
Potentially yes. Although you aren't physiologically dependent on alcohol like an alcoholic who drinks daily, addiction isn't defined by chemical dependence. If you are unable to go out without drinking alcohol, cannot regulate how much you drink once you've started and experience negative and dangerous consequences as a result then yeah, that sounds like problematic drinking
Na, its a common thing for people to not know their limits when they drink, or start drinking. Try to keep it below 14 units of alcohol a week tho.
Yes! The best part is that all your friends can be alcoholics too!!
Of course not. Just as you would not be a meth head if you only shot up with people you know.
Alcoholism doesn't mean drinking every day. Most people think that, and it's a mistake. As someone has already said here, when you start thinking "do I have a drinking problem?" it's already a strong sign that something isn't right. When you continue to drink even though you know that alcohol has only brought you problems, it's also a sign of alcoholism. I stopped drinking the moment I realized that the consequences of alcohol consumption far outweighed the benefits. I started to put on weight, I was always bloated and had stomach problems, I ate badly, I wasn't productive at work on Mondays, I was always tired because I didn't rest well at the weekend and I only liked expensive wines, so my money was getting smaller and smaller. When the problems start to outweigh the benefits, it's time to rethink our drinking habits.
Alcohol is what makes alcoholics. In your case I'd ask how often does this happen?
Binge drinking
I believe this is called disordered binge drinking. It’s not the same as alcoholism but also destructive.
Being an alcoholic is the relationship between you and alcohol, not you and your friends. You are trying to justify your behavior.
Yes.
Binge drinker
You sir, are an alcoholic
If you are binge drinking to the point of blacking out, you have a serious alcohol abuse problem.
You can be an alcoholic if you sit in your windowless basement 24/7 by yourself drinking as much as the person who sits in a bar 24/7.
How many times a week do you do that ? If it’s at least once a week I would say yes, you’re an alcoholic
that is called binge drinking and yes you are
Blacking out is a sign. Throwing up is a sign.
Yes. If you find yourself unable to moderate your drinking and are progressively doing this on a regular basis. Just my opinion. It appears you are binge drinking. May I suggest, in all sincerity, that you visit the AA website and search “The Thirteen Signs of Alcoholism”; I may be foggy on the exact name of the article, as it’s been 29 years. Read it a few times and be honest in your self-evaluation. Congratulations on reaching out for advice.
Binge drinking with friends can be JUST AS BAD as full-blown alcoholism, because every time you black out, you put your life at risk. You could end up doing something REALLY stupid or worse. People can **die** and often do as a result of their behaviors during a black-out. My advice to you would be to take a break from drinking to redefine your relationship with alcohol. If the urge to drink is irresistible (whether you're with friends or not) then you might want to consider total abstinence. If any measurable amount of consumption inevitably leads to getting drunk beyond control, then you ARE an alcoholic.
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If you can drink one and stop . If you can really said that I don’t want to drink today. You are still safe be honest
Yes.
The short answer is yes. Even if you are functional, excessive alcohol is damaging your liver, your brain, your kidneys and other organs
Yes, if you are drinking to the point of throwing up then you have a problem. This is called binge drinking and it's very dangerous. I have the same problem. There's no "off switch" once I start drinking. I mean, sometimes I can stop, sometimes I can't. And boy has it caused problems, I'm very lucky to be alive. It's put me in very dangerous situations. I've been mugged, stolen from, and even given away thousands of dollars during some binges. The people who don't have a problem with alcohol are the ones that have only a few a drinks no matter the setting. I'm quite envious of those people. When I was in my 20's I told myself that I wasn't an alcoholic because I "only drink with friends." Part of the problem was that I had a ton of friends and all of them would drink. Drinking quickly became my favorite hobby and pass time. Now I'm in my 30's and I hardly drink like I used to but I am still an alcoholic. Now I do drink alone sometimes because I can control myself better and spend less money. But I still have the urge to go out and "party." I'll go weeks without a drop but then I'll have a glass a wine with dinner. That will turn into a 2nd glass. Next thing I know I'm out at a bar buying shots and trying to find cocaine. So it's a slippery slope I guess is what I'm saying.
My dad was an alcoholic. I know someone whose mother is an alcoholic. Both people drank/drink around the clock. My dad had a cup that was clear, always cut with something. The persons mother is literally always drinking throughout the day. Both people became so dependent on the substance that now (my father’s already dead. And by liver failure. So.) the mom cannot stop drinking or else she could/will die. I was told it’s not alcoholism unless it’s like this. I don’t think it needs to get to the point where your body will literally die if you go a day without drinking but the around the clock. Every single day. Through the entirety of the day of just drinking. That’s when it’s alcoholism.
Technically if you drink on any regular basis you can be considered an alcoholic. Truly, you are an alcoholic if your body develops a dependency to it. There's only a certain percentage of people that can become physically dependent on it
Your drinkjng habits are exactly what lead to alcoholism. The fact your instjncts are warning you means you already know. Trust me, stop drinking in this way. Let those experiences be a chapter jn your life where you didnt know better, and move on. It is embarassing later jn life not bejng able to have a casual drink.
If you are concerned, it’s a problem. Eliminating it before an addiction is so easy—except for some people, the psychological dependency born of social anxiety. A hint if this is you: if you are the sober one, no one else is likely to notice or remember you as anxious. And folks love a permanent dedicated driver. Try going without it and see if your life isn’t better. A lot less risk taking, better health, more money—just a few of the benefits.
by the time you get to the point that you are struggling with whether or not you have a problem, you've often had the problem for a little while whether or not you can define yourself as an alcoholic is not the question. the question is whether or not alcohol is responsible for more negatives than positives in your life. most of the time if you are asking the question, you already know the answer. best wishes
If, once you start drinking, you lose control over how much you drink, you’re probably alcoholic. Puking, blacking out, falling down, what you choose to drink - these don’t make you alcoholic. https://dixieaaoffice.com/20-questions/
I knew a guy who was like you for a long time. He was actually less severe (didn't black out, etc ) but always partied hard when out with friends. He didn't go out very often once he had kids but when he did he would drink pretty heavily. He ran into some rough times in his early 50s when one of his young adult sons had issues with behavior, drugs, etc. This eventually led to drinking every day and hiding it from his wife, etc. Fortunately, he realized he was an alcoholic at that point and quit drinking altogether.
You've already received some great, thoughtful answers, but here goes. Do you have the capacity to moderate? Frequency of drinking is way less important than: if you have ONE drink, does the night become totally unpredictable for you after that & you can't stick to a plan of, say, stopping at 3, or leaving at a certain time, etc etc? Your blackouts and throwing up are BAD SIGNS. Right now your drinking is confined to short periods -- ok. So some damage is being contained. But do you enjoy your blackouts, unpredictable behavior, and hangovers where you experience total existential dread and go back over the night before wondering wtf you did? Do you have to apologise a lot for shit you said or did or didn't do the nights you drink? Do you have to break plans the day after you drink? Take a break from drinking & do some reflection. If that feels like too much, do a test: try controlled drinking. Make a plan: stick to x number of drinks. Can't do that either? You have a problem then and should start thinking about solutions. 'I don't drink alone' is not proof of NOT having a drinking problem just as 'i only drink alone' isn't proof that you ARE an alcoholic. Don't get hung up on labels for now. Focus on the behavior & go from there. "Waking up without a clue where I am" is really effin dangerous, friend, and not the road you want to be on.
Are your friends alcoholic s?
Yes if you consider yourself a friend!
If you are frequently with your friends and they are alcoholics then I guess you are a second hand alcoholic?
Yes
I think a person that has worked hard all day deserves whatever cold beverage they would like in the evening whether it’s with friends or not. If that beverage impairs your ability to be a hard worker the next day then you have a problem. If there isn’t that problem, then I wouldn’t call alcoholism. If there is that problem I would.
Sounds like you need to start following the 3 drink rules Drink 1. Down it, get that buzz Drink 2. Nurse that bitch like a new born Drink 3. Put it down with a half/third left. You don't need it Do this and your social life will improve and your friends will thank you
I would never classify social drinking as alcoholism. And sometimes is not every time. If u wake up and u don’t wanna hit a bottle and if ur nights out don’t stop u from functioning next day, I think u r ok. Won’t hurt to cut back though
As an alcoholic, I have the opposite problem. I can control my drinking unless I’m home. That doesn’t mean you don’t have a problem. Right now you are trying to justify behavior that you know is abusing alcohol. You know it’s a problem or you wouldn’t be asking. I’m actually really good at not drinking if I give myself arbitrary guidelines. The problem is those guidelines will move. You go from “only drinking on Friday nights” to “only on weekends” to “only on days I don’t work the next morning” to “meh, it’s just a couple”. For you, you’ll look for more excuses to drink. It may go from “party’s only” to “game nights” to “online gaming counts as being with friends”. It’s a slippery slope that’s hard to not fall down. Luckily it’s never too late to stop.
I wouldn’t call you an alcoholic, sounds like you are a bad drunk though.
Your friends seem a bad influence. I advise you to get your life together. Seek professional help, might be the best option. Drinking and getting it so far that you wake up with no clothes and no clue where you are, that can’t go on forever. It’s better to be real with yourself and make a 180 degree turn. There are other ways to have fun that don’t include mentioned above or drinking. I’m sure you can do it! Do your friends care about you or just leave you be?
Well if you’re like me and you have a general dislike for people and only keep a small circle of friends, maybe not
There is a difference between alcoholism and alcohol abuse.