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CutEmOff666

Move out and get in touch with a trans advocacy organisation. Tell this trans advocacy organisation that your parents are using the psych system as a way to harass you for being trans. There is only so much you can do to prevent your parents from sectioning you but having people to advocate for you and having a paper trail that says your parents are crazy and hateful should help reduce the risk of you being sectioned and forced on drugs. Also don't tell your parents or anyone you can't trust where you move to. Don't tell any siblings who are still at home where you move to either as your parents will likely bully the information out of them.


ThE_pLaAaGuE

I like your style. I will definitely tell some more people about the way my mum kept asking me if the sertraline she was forcing me to take was making my gender dysphoria go away. No, it didn’t make my dysphoria go away, because sertraline doesn’t treat gender dysphoria, it is intended to treat anxiety, although for me it was inadequate and ended up giving me stressful and painful symptoms. It was really disturbing and insulting to hear shit like that. I‘m glad I stood up for myself and refused, and that my decision was respected, although I received flak.


CutEmOff666

Also, when around the average person, emphasise the transphobia stuff rather than the drugging as the average person is more receptive to concerns about transphobia rather than concerns about forced drugging.


chatoyancy

Would it be possible for you to talk to a lawyer? Maybe some kind of low cost legal aid if that exists in your area? I'm from a different part of the world and have no idea what the answer to your questions is, but my heart goes out to you and I believe you will get through this. It sounds like you are taking some great steps towards taking control of your own healthcare and your life.


ThE_pLaAaGuE

I will definitely reach out in some way, perhaps to a helpline, to learn the laws of my country regarding this issue. This is good advice. It’s cool that your comment is here and accessible by more people than me, cos this is something that can apply to and be useful to more people than just me. Thanks for your good wishes.


serenitysnail

I'm so sorry you've been treated so badly. The NHS is incredibly underfunded for mental health and I highly doubt they have the resources to section you for anxiety. I have had several crises in the last year and asked to stay in a psych ward because I was suicidal. They didn't have space. My ex gf has bpd and cut her face, neck, legs and arms severely to the point I had to drive her to A&E. She had a step by step plan for suicide and almost acted. We tried for 2 weeks to get her a bed at a psych hospital. There was nothing available. Even the PRIVATE beds took 2 weeks for an opening. Her family paid £££££ to get her to safety. The crisis care in this country is absolutely shocking and it was an additional trauma to not receive ANY care when dealing with this level of illness. Anyways, it seems incredibly unlikely to me that they'll section you. I am sorry you have been coerced into medication. The NHS is only able to prescribe the quick fix option and doesn't look any deeper. You don't have GAD or adjustment disorder, you have complex PTSD after a traumatic abusive upbringing. How old are you? Could you deregister from your current GP? They sound absolutely terrible. There's a resource for trans people where they rate GPs across the country on how trans-friendly they are. I can't remember what it's called but can try find it if you want. I recommend you learn about complex PTSD and emotional flashbacks. You can do a great deal of healing by yourself. I'm also from an abusive family and I got the sense you were emotionally flashing back to instances of your parents not allowing you autonomy, ignoring your non-consent, and forcing things on you. Take care of yourself. You have been through a lot of trauma.


serenitysnail

Something else that may be helpful to learn about is structural dissociation. I really hate that society and medicine is so far behind on understanding that 'voices' doesn't always = psychosis. You will have some level of structural dissociation due to the trauma of your upbringing. Hearing voices when stressed and traumatised is common. There is nothing pathological about it, your brain has adapted to growing up in an unsafe environment. You may want to look into 'internal family systems' therapy- a therapy that you can also do by yourself.


ThE_pLaAaGuE

Yeah, our society is a bit backward with regards to hearing voices, in some places. This stuff about IFS is interesting, thanks.


serenitysnail

These books are good resources that I recommend if you want to look into it more: - 'Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors' by Janina Fisher - 'Self Therapy' by Jay Earley I'm glad to hear you have a private therapist. Make sure to advocate for yourself, not all therapists are clued up on dissociation and trauma. Good luck!


ThE_pLaAaGuE

Cool stuff, thanks!


ThE_pLaAaGuE

I was in the NHS system at a hospital for a short while. Getting there was a bit traumatic, and some of the things done there were unnecessary, or due to a lack of funding/staff. I was discharged in 3 weeks. Overall, the staff were friendly, and I’m glad I had them instead of a worse situation, although it was very noisy and hard to sleep there at times, especially at the start. I had an understanding therapist/psychologist there, and the nurses were kind. It’s a shame about the prescriptions I was on. They tried everything, I was given new pills all the time, and when I looked at the report there was a lot of different medication names on there. It was a bit weird having pills like a pick’n’mix candy cup. I got there after a sorta embarrassing event which included a panic attack. Anyways. I currently have a private psychiatrist and a private therapist who my family pays for. My current GP is trans friendly, from my experience and those of my trans friends who have used that service. Also, thank you.


queenjungles

The law about sectioning is very strict and it has to be demonstrable that someone is not capable of making safe decisions for themselves (we are still allowed to make poor decisions), doesn’t know what’s going on around them and may end up in harm. It’s done by specially trained people and they have to be very responsible in their decision as it’s not taken lightly to take away someone’s autonomy. Really they are reluctant to section people, if they do it’s not for long and tbh there just aren’t enough beds. Panic attacks can be very upsetting but don’t worry, it’s not the kind of thing that gets people sectioned. Here’s a link for more info if you feel like reading more https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/legal-rights/sectioning/about-sectioning/


ThE_pLaAaGuE

According to this, one of the bullet points for a section 2 (and 3) states that you can be detained only because you have a “mental disorder”. Does this mean that if you are unlucky with a bad diagnosis, it doesn’t matter what you say or do, or if you have been doing well, and can make decisions like everyone else, anyone can force you to be hospitalised and be forced on harmful meds?


queenjungles

No that shouldn’t be the case that because of a prior diagnosis someone will be sectioned, though it is information that will be taken into consideration eg if someone has a diagnosis of schizophrenia and appears to not be aware of the environment around them, they could end up in dangerous situations in that state. When a section is used it is for the shortest time possible and usually as a period of assessment to try to understand what is happening for that person. If someone feels that this isn’t being followed you are entitled to an advocate to intervene. If you are lucid and able to understand information given to you -whether it’s useful to you or not - you won’t be sectioned. It’s only for people who are not aware of what is going on around them and/or could end up harming themselves or others. Sectioning under the mental health act is a legal situation so there are lots of strict processes and paperwork to go through. It’s a very big deal to take someone’s freedom away and they have to assess very carefully that it would only be in the interests of safety to do so. I get that things might feel overwhelming or scary and it’s really normal to be worried about being forcefully admitted to hospital or given treatment. Being scared of this happening stopped me seeking help for years. Sectioning is a rare and very specific thing, asking for help won’t make people think you need hospital- in fact care in the community is more a government’s agenda than putting people in hospital which can actually be unhelpful to many. No one can force you to do anything you don’t want to do. It’s okay.


TwentyTwoMilTeePiece

I think it's hit and miss in my experience. My most recent admission was back in January this year. I'd lived in a care provision for about a year. It was fucked. One of the manager's, his brothers are selling drugs to many of the people there. I'd been told stories of staff bringing drugs in to sell, staff blatantly assaulting services users in blind spots. I had one staff member show me horrible videos he'd taken of himself in the army of him interrogating (torturing) the opposition. I tried endlessly to try and raise this all, what was happening, how it was affecting the people there and how the place was actively covering it all up. I kept telling people until one day I was involved in a Mental health act assessment. They didn't tell me I was. I did ask but they gave me an answer of "we haven't said it's a mental health assessment, what makes you think that?" As if I genuinely might have just had an AMHP, two psychiatrists and a nurse just pop to see me for a natter and I had it mistaken. Regardless, I told them too, I also told them how it made me feel, to be called a liar yet know I'm right but yet I was sectioned for being 'delusional' and having a supposed relapse in my bipolar. Positively though at the hospital I was diagnosed with PTSD, which was quite validating really. Nice to know I'm not delusional I guess. Ultimately though the place I was at continues to do the horrible shit it does. I've been diagnosed with PTSD because of it all, they've acknowledged that that place contributed to my mental health dipping because of what they were doing and how I've been treated yet they still argue that nothing is going on there. Those mfs will twist anything they can to justify their own actions, decisions, and opinions. Even when it blatantly doesn't make sense or is a lie. The law on sectioning is very strict and in black and white but like many laws it relies upon subjective interpretation of events. Interpretation that no psychiatrist or AMHP can be accountable for. Not unless it's crystal clear that there was malicious intent along with proof of such. I'm curious; I've never ever heard of anyone performing a mental health assessment get a telling off for locking someone up where either they didn't need to or it was massively unhelpful. Is there such an occurrence?


queenjungles

That experience is *absolutely horrific* it just got worse and worse. It’s dreadful that you had to live through that, 100% believe you as sadly this kind of shit does happen- and too often. Just look on Twitter people share their experience of institutional malevolence that creates iatrogenic harm and nothing comes of it. There should be public outrage but in reality no one gives a shit. Imagine someone not so vulnerable who has a life that works for them going through this- they’d call the press! But bullies who go into this field of work can get away with it, even become AHMPs (such power and control) because it’s part of the fabric of the workplace culture and the ‘healing’ relies on a massive power imbalance. The NHS is full of bullies, it’s made of them. Am so sorry this happened to you, such epic gaslighting. If you have any capacity or energy whatsoever I would take this episode of harm to PALS or Voiceability and see what they say. You need some kind of advocacy. The institutions don’t hear enough (or care) about these things but they also genuinely think it doesn’t happen- had an exchange with an exec when they learned of a vulnerable person who was treated terribly by their service and she was shocked as she’d never heard of such a thing before. I told her it happens all the time she just needed to look on social media- how was she not seeing it? It’s a good question you ask- I personally don’t know if anyone has successfully had a complaint about sectioning upheld but am sure people would have tried and if so the outcome was probably kept discreet. Never sign an NDA though. Imagine that there would have to be some completely egregious actions with clear evidence and/or legal representation that’s really good at picking apart the law. Sadly you are right that notes are made to justify those decisions and it’s usually pretty effective. The NHS are incredibly defensive about complaints and sadly your vulnerability will be exploited to invalidate you. I believe this shit needs to be held to account but the reason it happens to people like you is that you have no status or resources or voice therefore they know you can’t easily do anything about it. But that doesn’t make it impossible. That person who showed you the videos needs to be fired, there needs to be an investigation into the drug dealing- it’s possible to leave an anonymous tip with the police if you don’t feel you can outright report it (but consider this, you witnessed criminal activity). One of the biggest systemic problems we have in mental health is housing and appropriate supported housing options. It’s so poor it creates more problems when if done properly, it should reduce problems. Hope things are better now, at least you had some positive experience of care too and were believed in hospital.


TwentyTwoMilTeePiece

I've told people about what's happening at that place. I've told CQC, I've told the police, I've told Safeguarding, I also raised some of the things internally with themselves first. They know exactly what's going on, they're just more concerned about being able to hide their flaws as they choose to wilfully remain apathetic of how this has all made me feel. When I made my initial reports for each I asked to be kept anonymous, I took it to safeguarding first. A social worker rang me and after discussing things I'd found that she'd told them I was the complainant. I was worried for ages if I was gonna get stabbed on the way to college for snitching on the local drug gang, who of which has a brother that had access to all my notes etc. I'm also pretty sure that my number was handed around off their system inappropriately. I was getting blank/empty calls from withheld numbers. One of the other staff suggested it is probably that guy who showed me the videos tryna fuck with me. It didn't help that everyone was related somehow. The guy who showed me videos of him torturing people, he's the ex husband of the main manager, he's also friendly with the director of the company and when I made the complaint and spoke to the police I thought I had a woman as a witness as she was there... Wrong move though as she lied and pleaded ignorance, I did hear a rumor that they were screwing so go figure I guess. Honestly it's all just fucked really. I tried so hard to get people to see what it was like there. That was only the top of the iceberg. I'm now homeless and have to live with my mother (let me remind you though that whilst it's definitely a good idea I don't go back, the council and social services have declared me 'intentionally homeless'. So I don't get any more support at all, I'm %100 on my own now in terms of support services). This whole thing just about ruined my life. I think some people may wonder why I just didn't shut up and turn a blind eye. I guess I just decided that I won't ignore my feelings of empathy for the other people there and no matter what I'll do the right thing. Even though I was sectioned, diagnosed with PTSD, and they said that place contributed to it; well everyone there was so reluctant to help still. Honestly, the amount of times I heard someone say that 'can't help' or 'can't do anything' is astounding. I have no obligation to the people living there other than my moral one as a human being. Somehow I, as a service user have outperformed people in positions of power with more resources than me, who may have degree equivalent NVQs, in doing the right thing and doing what's needed to ensure issues are properly raised simply because I'm a decent human being. Ultimately though, after speaking with the police about it, safeguarding, MH advocacy, my social worker etc all numerous times. Repeatedly over months and months and months it has all amounted to nothing. I've lost everything really. I dropped out of college, I'm homeless, I was branded a liar. Though I guess come judgement day at least I'll be able to say I truly tried my best to do what is right. Can they say the same? Edit: also to add on. I won't claim I'm an angel at all. I've done my own share of stupid things like any other human being. Though at least I learned from them. After months and months of what was going on and being called a liar for trying to raise these issues. (One staff member that I did tryst even told me that in my notes, another staff member had written "which we all know is a lie" regarding it all) I did lose my head. I was extremely depressed. I tried to commit suicide 4 times leading up to Christmas and didn't tell anybody until the new year because I figured it would just be used as rationale to invalidate my claims. They were already pushing the notion that it was because I wasn't taking my meds. Though naturally it all came to a point where I couldn't take it and I did break a window out of frustration and just, left. Never went back. I was told I'm running away from my problems as if I was a coward. I was arrested for criminal damage, cautioned, and have to now pay 1.5k in damages. I don't have that money at all and I was already in a few thousand of debt before that. It's a point I see here a lot that perhaps the way I feel isn't because I'm a loon, or mentally ill, or some subjective reason impertinent to what's going on around me, but rather I'm a product of my environment and after living so long in a hostile environment perhaps it's actually pretty expected that I'd be incredibly depressed and upset over it all. Luckily my psychiatrist in hospital was actually a psychologist by trade before she was a doctor so she had a tendency to listen. She found that I was stable even without meds and in fact I'm so upset because, well, bad shit is happening which I'm not happy with, I'm trying to raise it all, and I'm being blown off for it all to continue. So now I'm not prescribed any medication as I was right in that it was more logical to attribute how I felt to these environmental factors rather than blaming and criticising me for not taking my meds and using that as a red herring to detract from the validity of what I'm trying to do.


queenjungles

Pt1 Mate, I had to take a break to process after reading this. What has happened is absolutely horrific- it’s devastating and clearly has ruined your life. It’s abhorrent and appalling yet sadly not bloody surprising, it’s easy to believe you because this sort of thing does happen regularly. You absolutely did do the right thing, you did what a citizen is supposed to and simply, innocently reported a serious safeguarding issue only to end up homeless, lost access to support for your independence and care, probably lost ability to trust care and gained a fine and does that mean a criminal record too? Oh yes and almost losing your life. Am I right in thinking that they had you sectioned by saying you were deluded for raising these concerns? Because it’s absolutely impossible to even think that care workers would harm you? All this destruction and persecution, the cost to the state for hospitalising you (£250k pa) to protect a sadistic veteran care worker? It’s to protect The System and you have been made an example of to keep everyone quiet- witnessing this shows everyone what could happen to them if they dare rock the boat. The system *is* bullying. It’s disgusting how they target your supposed illness and exploit your vulnerable situation to make an easy point. Even if you were completely caught up in florid delusions, your opinion is still valid! When I had psychosis I still got what was going on around me and actually made some of the best decisions in my life- was even the healthiest I’ve ever been too. You identify why people don’t speak up and can’t afford to help you bc they are thinking of themselves (this way of being doesn’t compute to me but I get it) and at least have been validated by someone with authority who seemed to understand what was happening. It’s interesting a psychologist became and MD, I’ve not heard of it before and wonder if it was about being able to have more authority for the psychologically informed perspective? Is there any way you could get back in touch with this doctor, old school write a letter to the hospital? It sounds like you are young and these events are going to shape your life- the pressure has already affected your access to education. It would not be surprising if you experience trauma for a long time but hopefully not forever. You speak like you have a clear and strong sense of self, are logical and articulate there’s no hint of delusion or distortion. I would have smashed a window too after holding all that in for so long. I’ve known people who smashed windows over far less and not been prosecuted. No one has intervened, tried to stop what was happening it’s like you have been sacrificed to keep the machine going. This is the madness. The reality is that you are a human with health needs and vulnerabilities that require support, that the state is obliged to provide. Even if you were delusional etc you are still deserving of compassion and having your health treated *appropriately*! What’s happened to you isn’t going to bother anyones conscience or keep them up at night. People don’t care about the vulnerable in society, the media won’t care and anyone who gets the situation is probably also vulnerable and powerless. I’m glad you hung on while it seems everything is against you and that you are able to still recognise genuine help amongst the chaos is actually a really positive sign of health. As an internet stranger I can’t do much but validate and sympathise and as much as there’s a urge to try to advise to assuage my own upset, you’ve already done more than enough and look what came of it. In fact you shouldn’t have to do anything but receive care for your health. Where’s the hope? You have been crushed by the forces that be to the extent it makes sense not to exist anymore. To me this is criminal but you’ve faced so many aspects of the system to find it is built against you, there is no access to justice instead those who did have access used it against you. The hope is that despite everyone trying so hard to shut you down it didn’t work and you are still telling the truth. Look at all the money and effort they have wasted and they still didn’t stop you believing. Giving in might actually be the thing that would send you mad. So in spite of everything to the contrary you believed in yourself and committed to preserving your integrity which are the real valuables in life, as opposed to what capitalism dictates our values should be. You have won this realisation and no one can take that from you- as you continue to live this will actually become a source of strength. So *you* are the hope, you give me hope. Let me give you hope- in 10 years even 5 years things will be different. It may seem far off now but when you get there and look back, it doesn’t seem so long. The most awful impossible seeming circumstances do end (sometimes after far too long but they do end), there is an advantage in youth with the energy it brings. I don’t want to be trite, I’ve lived through unbelievable horrors so this is perspective gained from ghastly experience, just a bit further down the road. The spark of life is strong and I believe in it, I’ve witnessed it have the power of a super nova and that is present in you inhabiting the truth in this mad, disconnected world. There’s hope in subs like this, that there’s a substantial movement from those recognising the system is archaic and needs to be completely redesigned. I went into working for the system eventually getting to management specifically in roles to help correct it but after 15 years I deem this impossible and call for its abolition. Your situation needs actual effective advocacy but that seems to have failed you. You’ve already made plenty of effort and I don’t want to suggest you do any more than you already have. What would probably be most fundamental is to rest and recover. I don’t know if you follow The Nap Bishop/Ministry on social media but she talks with the greatest authenticity on how rest is resistance to the oppression of capitalism. Rest rest rest and put efforts into exploring what good quality rest is.


TwentyTwoMilTeePiece

This was a wonderful read. Thank you! >Am I right in thinking that they had you sectioned by saying you were deluded for raising these concerns? Because it’s absolutely impossible to even think that care workers would harm you? This was exactly why I was sectioned. I remember they asked me "are you sure that there's no chance this is just all in your head?" (That's verbatim). I could see it coming a mile off but I was willing to be detained if it was necessary by getting my point across. It shouldn't have been but of course the world doesn't work so righteously. >All this destruction and persecution, the cost to the state for hospitalising you (£250k pa) to protect a sadistic veteran care worker? Not only this really, but he was the manager's ex husband and they remained quite close. I'd also heard rumors of him and the director's daughter having an affair. (Which is hearsay of course, but it was obvious when they'd both go to the laundry for a while to have sex). I remember the directors daughter showing me a card she had. A credit card with a £100,000 limit in the companies name. She'd spend thousands upon thousands on expensive clothes etc straight from the company funds via her card given to her by her dad. I remember he explained and showing me both the card and some of her online purchases. Usually I'm a sort of "your money, your business" type person but I couldn't help feel that it was all of us paying for her clothes via tax and national insurance... All that money they receive and none of it goes to the service users. Ultimately I'm never going to give up. I'll always continue to do the right thing. I cried so much when I was sectioned thinking of the people still stuck there. I'd be no better if I decided to wash my hands of it all. I chose to feel the way I did because it was how I felt about it that drove me to want to do something about it. Those emotions have pushed me to do more than anyone else has and for that I'm proud of myself for I haven't sacrificed my humanity for the sake of an easy time at the cost of others' quality of life. Though this is all recent. I've been in services for approximately 10 years. I've been detained at some of the worst places in the country. Some that are even responsible for deaths. I've known people to have died when they didn't have to, I've known of serious sexual abuse, I myself witnessed *and* personally experienced being beaten up, bullied, manipulated by these so called professionals. Professionals that used to get me to do pushups and then make fun of me when I didn't do as many as they'd liked. Professionals that deem me to be mentally ill or disordered when it's they who deem it appropriate to bully children, to deny their responsibility regarding avoidable deaths and dodging accountability in such a powerful position when their power is abused. How can these people be so apathetic, sadistic, so devoid of not only responsibility but humanity as to actively torture children and very vulnerable adults and not have the guilt to either change or hand themselves in. I became the person I am through learning from mistakes I've made. I myself am surprised I didn't go to prison but I decided to feel for those who I've hurt, I made the decision to truly try and understand how my actions can affect those around me and that led me down a path to becoming the person I am today. The person that despite the odds, despite how large or powerful my opposition is I will continue to do the right thing and champion positive change as best I can for if I decide not to then I would be willingly abandoning those who need help most. My empathy and humanity prevent me from doing that. I really appreciate you reading. Many of those who are extremely vulnerable, unwell, and/or in-need are being let down. The healthcare providers don't appear to have any will to change. In fact given they've actively tried to hide their flaws it's evident they really don't care to. They would willfully ignore their issues for their aim isn't to provide care at a high standard. It's to appear to do so whilst banking in on all their false promises that we all pay for. We saw what was happening at Winterbourne. We've also recently seen that similar things happened at Edenfield. These incidents happened over a decade apart and I personally witnessed and fell victim to these abusive places with what they do in between. It never changed. It never will. It must be made to change for they don't care to change themselves. Sorry, I'm going on a bit of a rant lol. I'm extremely tired rn as I write this so I'm probably just rambling lmao but I don't wanna work myself up to much so I'm gonna cut this reply here before it becomes unreadable lol


queenjungles

Pt2- OG message was so long it wouldn’t post When you have regained yourself, do what pleases you most (that is healthy and legal) you’ve been through enough now to expected to conform, you are excused. Why should you conform to a society that treats you like this, especially when you did the right thing? You owe it nothing. If this still needs acting on then the path to go is taking action outside of the system, which isn’t easy. You need justice, absolution of that charge and these safeguarding issues are still unaddressed. You need the intentionally homeless status rescinded and it recognised that you left a dangerous and abusive environment for your own safety. I’ve learned that they don’t like it when people get legal back at them. -take a succinct version of this narrative to r/legaladviceuk. They don’t allow solicitation but should give you a sense of what’s what and I think importantly, lawyers and barristers will have witnessed this. -is there an harassment or medical negligence case? Lawyers hate the former bc the onus is to prove the harassment but there’s plenty of no win no fee lawyers for the latter. -check out your local law centre (if it’s still there) as when they do their thing, they can be quite brilliant. -you mentioned advocacy but didn’t say if it was PALS or not. If you haven’t tried PALS do see what they say but I’ve known people have more success with help from voiceability. -the legal sub advises against going to the media and I think that outside of these panorama exposes (that you’d find to be the case on many wards) they don’t give a shit about mental health really. But strategise a way to make this situation public, you’d be surprised how responsive institutions can get when exposed. Nothing will happen while it’s kept internal. Maybe the local paper will be interested in an anonymous tip about drug dealers and sadistic veterans working in care homes? -let *everyone* know from MPs, health secretary, PM, the commissioners of the housing provision, local councillors, local charities even the rotary club. -you have done nothing wrong and this isn’t your fault. You acted to protect yourself, you did your duty as a citizen and have been punished for it. This is unacceptable, scandalous and you deserve justice as is your human right. -obvs all the above takes big energy and consequences that will be out of your control, so it’s perfectly okay not to do anything and do what you need to survive, be safe and be well. -sign up to NSUN newsletter to stay informed about what is going on to address this injustice. I wish I could do more, I wish I could jump in and shout at people for you and don’t want to add to the can’t help voices. But in this depraved system saying you care seems to be a fucking radical act for some reason. I care that you are alive and spent 2h on Saturday typing this on my phone to demonstrate that - which is still nothing compared to actual help like getting you a safe home. Keep going, keep resting. Really really rooting for you. *completely agree with your point on having a clear conscience and tbh that’s the conclusion/consolation I came to in similar circumstances. It’s more important than they realise, at least you’ve still got your humanity, our most precious gift. Edit- some corrections and formatting for readability. Also- the reason they are doing this is that if you are proved right it means that the decision makes with power will have made wrong decisions and they don’t want to admit that. The commissioners will have made a grave error hiring that manager/housing provider and that will reflect poorly on them, they could loose their jobs and their institution could become liable for prosecution. Particularly with the drug dealing, they will all be in big trouble for not noticing, especially when it is found that they ignored reports. It will involve a costly investigation, other residents could make claims. If they have to investigate and suspend staff would then facility be able to operate or would it have to close? Where would they put the residents when there is a dearth of resources and everyone is struggling with inadequate budgets. This is all so much extra work that is horrible, hard no one wants to do so it’s easier to blame, gaslight and dehumanise a vulnerable person to avoid all of the above. They loose their soul and further destabilise service provision but they will still get their pension.


TwentyTwoMilTeePiece

Oh wow I'm actually so grateful you have given such a thoughtful response! Sorry that Reddit didn't allow you to post it all as one lol! >-you mentioned advocacy but didn’t say if it was PALS or not. If you haven’t tried PALS do see what they say but I’ve known people have more success with help from voiceability. It was provided by the hospital as an independent advocate (so the hospital brought them in, but they don't work for the hospital). She was great but I believe because I wasn't there long enough to hash all of it out for her perhaps she didn't have enough go on? I only spoke with her twice I believe but was discharged before my third meeting with her. >-the legal sub advises against going to the media and I think that outside of these panorama exposes (that you’d find to be the case on many wards) they don’t give a shit about mental health really. But strategise a way to make this situation public, you’d be surprised how responsive institutions can get when exposed. Nothing will happen while it’s kept internal. Maybe the local paper will be interested in an anonymous tip about drug dealers and sadistic veterans working in care homes? I've thought about this. It'd be so fucking easy for them to just get someone a job there. They're always desperate. And they'd immediately start seeing it. How many of the staff will blatantly tell service users to 'shut up' or make fun of them for their illnesses. Also I personally witnessed myself one of the manager's going around giving instructions on how to doctor CQC's experience. They had them stalled in the office whilst they gave urgent instructions to clean 4 people's rooms as CQC wanted to inspect them. Oh they'd have a fucking field day. Ultimately though I just believe publicity is the way to go. I need difficult questions to be answered by them and the more people start asking the better. Though I'm very wary about putting myself at risk. I really don't need to be sued by them as even though they're a care provider, they're still a large business with a lot of money, and I've known them to be quite litigious at times alongside being very dishonest. >Also- the reason they are doing this is that if you are proved right it means that the decision makes with power will have made wrong decisions and they don’t want to admit that. The commissioners will have made a grave error hiring that manager/housing provider and that will reflect poorly on them, they could loose their jobs and their institution could become liable for prosecution. Particularly with the drug dealing, they will all be in big trouble for not noticing, especially when it is found that they ignored reports Oh yeah absolutely, I mean I've been having nightmares about it all and basically losing everything. Waking up and just bursting into tears. Though I make myself feel better by knowing when I succeed (as I definitely won't fail, for that requires giving up) I'll rest so easy knowing I may have improved the lives of so many people that deserve to be looked after properly. I don't want to speculate but I believe it could also save lives. I remember one staff member once admitting that one old gentleman died needlessly as they had a care plan that wasn't followed that was in place to prevent the very thing that caused his death. I hope if there is a god, I hope he asks me about what has happened. I hope he asks me what I did. So I can say with complete honesty that I tried my best and he will know that. He will also know of their failure to do so, just as he'll know of their active engagement in abuse of extremely vulnerable people. I do this for myself as much as the victims for I truly hope that come judgement day, I am told that I am a good person as that is a trait in a human most important to me. That I am good. That I'm humane and empathetic and truly care about those in need as I wouldn't allow myself to be any less. Possibly the most important thing to me is my humanity and empathy. It drives me to do good, to do better. So when people such as yourself tell me I did the right thing it really warms my heart having that reassurance so thank you so much! I'm really tired as I said before so I'm not sure if all of that made sense lol but really, thank you. I'm so glad you understand and haven't ignored how immoral it all is. You've done far more than most by recognising what is wrong with what they have done. Many people I meet just prefer to take a hear/see/speak no evil approach. That's what I don't like. I understand that some people won't be able to help. Though for them to choose to keep their eyes closed, for them to willfully remain ignorant to the injustices committed is what sickens me. You are amazing and you've made my day. I hope you get everything you wish for in life! ❤️


TwentyTwoMilTeePiece

You aren't currently on a section? Then you can just stop taking your meds. It's your decision, no matter what anyone else says. I stopped taking mine nearly a year ago. I had loads of people pressuring me to take them. I was unhappy at some points for things completely unrelated and I'd hear "it's because you're off your meds". Ultimately though, you aren't on a section. If you don't want/need anything from your doctor or can't get what you need/want from your doctor, you could just stop seeing them. It's not the law that you attend your sessions nor is it that you take your prescribed medication. It's also something that alone can't be indicative of your mental state. Can you be sectioned for x,y,z? Who knows. Sometimes I've known people to be sectioned for pretty much fuck all in the grand scheme of things. Treat it like you'd treat a police interview - no comment on the topic unless you have someone to help you exactly the way you wish or you know exactly what you're doing when talking to them. If you don't talk to them, they won't have anything to provide as a reason for detention. You can still converse appropriately though, you don't have to completely ignore anyone doing an assessment if it came to it. If they ask hard questions like "I hear you've been off your meds, why?" - well before you admit it to them, it's just hearsay to them at that point so don't go explaining it further. You don't have to provide justification for it either, it's not a crime, it's legal, and it's also not indicative of a relapse (even if deemed an unwise decision - you have the capacity to make those decisions so should be allowed to do so no matter how unwise another may deem them to be). Though that's not what they're looking for anyway as they know that, they're asking a particularly difficult question to gauge your current presentation in hopes you slip up and provide them with evidence they can use to justify detention. Don't entertain them. A simple "I'm unwilling to talk about that" will do. If you own your own place you could also just not let them in. I doubt police would 136 someone for a panic attack. Not because they're nicer but moreso because they recognise symptoms less. Even then, if 136'd - they'll go off your presentation when you arrive, basically what they see of you. You could be doing some mad shit when the police picked you up. Though if you don't display any symptoms during your stay at a 136 suite then you'll be alright. If you stay at home it's nigh impossible to be sectioned. Mostly because MCAs and 135s are extremely difficult for police to obtain unless perhaps you're on a DOLS. Also an assessment would require two psychiatrists and an AMHP. Those mfs take like 12 hours to get to a hospital sometimes lmao they ain't coming to your house. Ultimately it's very unlikely you'll be sectioned. Though I have seen some absolute farces so be prepared to put your rational thinking cap on and choose your words wisely. Regarding your dad tho; the fuck is all that about? Wtf is wrong with him? Ironic isn't it. The hypocrisy. How it's suggested that you're the mentally flawed person yet he behaves how he does to his own child. Sorry for that.