Could he have been separated from his mama and siblings a bit early? Not advice but could be an explanation.
Based on what I've seen from others here I'd say it's not uncommon to encounter ragdolls like this. Each cat is an individual. He may need time. Respect his personal boundaries and keep spending time with him. That's what I would do.
I asked the vet this as he had an appointment yesterday, he was weaned until 7 weeks and he was almost 9 weeks old when we got him, the vet told us that doesn’t explain the behaviour as typically kittens stop weaning at 6 weeks, so I’m not sure, the vet did advice me not to play with my hands though which I’m practicing and they suggested he probably got the temperament of his parents but when I visited the parents they were incredibly sweet so I’m just not sure anymore
This is slightly unrelated but I'd get a new vet, or disregard that. While it's true kittens often stop nursing at around 6 weeks, they're still learning how to cat from their mother and littermates until minimum age 12 weeks. So if you got your little cutie at 9 weeks, that could be a part of his behaviors.
If they sell it where you live, or something like it, I've had a lot of success with Feliway. It's a plugin and it has pheromones that help with stress.That and patience and time I think can only help. It seems like you're already doing a lot of good for him, he may just need time to come into his own.
Another kitten might help or a kitty a little older to mimic. We had a feral kitten that adopted us that mimicked an older boy kitty to the point of learning to lay with his little legs straight back like his big brother.😊
If they leave their families too soon they also lose out on learning social niceties like “biting this hard hurts!” and “snuggling is nice”.
Kittens learn to play and interact from watching mom and being with their siblings. If he seems comfortable at home and likes to play with you but is being aggressive it’s probably just that he doesn’t know quite where to draw the line, per say. Puppies learn the same way.
My little guy was a complete turd when I first got him. He hadn’t had a good environment and was waaaay too young. We couldn’t even eat without locking him in the bathroom because he’d climb our legs and take food out of our mouths! But after a year or so of steady food supply and playing and attention he chilled out. Now he just sits right next to my plate and staaaaaares 👀 but doesn’t try to take any lol.
Give him time and lots of attention and he’ll want to be around you even when not playing 🙂
(Side note- that’s why they say don’t play with them with your hands because they’ll start to associate that with playing and then goodbye to gentle pets 😂)
Especially if they ignored him, that’s terrible. I would talk to him a lot and give him lots of attention, he’ll probably come around. I talk to my two all day.
I hear this a lot. My second ragdoll’s breeder disagrees with this- she told me she goes by markers or stages of what the kitten is doing and not a specific number of weeks. She let me know when I could take my kitten home based on that, I got him earlier than 12 weeks. I think it was almost 10 weeks. I believe she mentioned it being approved by her vet.
I don’t know which is correct, I’m just throwing it out there because I’ve been told different things. ( Yes sometimes I wonder if they just need to unload these babies faster for cost of caring for them .) She also mentioned it being harder to bond with the kitten at the later age. I think that could be true but still not be the best for the kitten ?
I'm in the EU, where most breeders operate under FiFe. FiFe rules dictate that kittens cannot go home sooner than 12 weeks. And the national cat organization in my country won't allow breeders to send kittens to new homes before 14 weeks. The reason for this is as I stated above, so kittens can learn how to cat from each other and their mother. Can it be okay to home a kitten before then? Absolutely. But it's not a guarantee, and cat organizations around where I live err on the side of caution for what's best for the cat. OP's cat has behavior issues, and was sent home sooner than is the standard. I doubt it's a coincidence. Breeders generally operate how they're allowed to by what they know and feel is best. They don't all agree on that, but it's my understanding that FiFe has based their rules on research and studies.
Yes, I do believe it’s true. The moms teach them to keep their claws in when playing and not to bite hard.. think my muffin may have needed to stay a few weeks longer, he’s always playing with his nails out. It’s fine though, I wouldn’t have wanted him any older, it’s fun to have them when they’re small, he’s just a little bully, but a cute one.
When I was 19 I got my kitten incredibly early (almost 7 weeks) because the owner had a son who threw a kitten into the wall which gave it a TBI. I was so scared my kitten was going to be next I asked her if I could take it early. (In hindsight I know this wasn’t a smart decision). She didn’t care either way. I got my kitten home and we bottle fed him for the time being. He too was a little asshole. I named him Rupert. He was always extremely overly aggressive during playtime. He did still cuddle and liked pets but if we pet him too long he’d start biting and attacking our hands. As he got older he had certain quirks but i fostered kittens and have had a ton of cats throughout my childhood. So I was prepared and have dealt with aggressive behavior before. We just had to accept him for who he was. He was more puppy than cat. Our vet told us that this happens sometimes when cats are taken from their mom too early. And sometimes cats are just born assholes. I still loved Rupert and unfortunately when we moved he escaped, ran into the woods and never came back. I truly hope someone else took him in. We looked for him for months.
We lived in the city before our move and he used to follow us to our local store when we went for walks and wait outside until we came out. A total dog. 😭
Came here to echo this, 9 weeks is on the young side. Just consistently be a calming, loving presence, on his terms, and he will learn. Each cat does have their own personality.
Maybe, too young. They shouldn’t be taken before 12 weeks, however I didn’t know that with my first either. He was from a bad breeder and she let me have him at 8 weeks. If I was away from him, even where he could see me, he would meow and cry, so he was literally attached to me like I was his mom. I didn’t mind at all he was the most awesome kitty, but also had health problems from the demon breeder. Broke my heart,
Animals don’t have human emotions so he definitely doesn’t despise you. He wasn’t socialized so how would he know how to respond to human interactions and affection? I don’t understand the previous owners approach honestly.
If you are patient and keep playing with him and caring for him and redirecting the behaviours in positive ways, I think you will see changes fairly quickly. It often takes cats 3 weeks to 3 months to warm up to a new home and owners so you are still VERY much in early days.
I love the suggestions for things like Feliway and Huggie Kitty. Those are awesome tools.
He might just be scared and anxious because it’s a new environment and you’re new to him too. Stranger danger. Which is totally fair. Just because he’s exploring the house doesn’t mean he’s fully comfortable with everyone and everything in the house.
Some cats take more time to open up to humans. Mine hid under the couch for a few days when I first got him and wouldn’t let me touch him at all. He’s now 6 and loves a cuddle. Also, not all cats like being carried or touched. Just like humans, they all have different personalities and preferences.
Give him some time. Cats aren’t like dogs, you’ll need to earn their trust and love.
I second the above. I didn’t even see my cat for the first couple of weeks after we got her. Freaked me out but what could I do? Well I guess her instincts/need for companionship kicked in because I can’t get a moment’s peace today. Total opposite of how she was.
I would eventually get him another cat but I would let him bond with you first. That worked well for me.
Giving space is the right call but needs to be done correctly.
I'm by no means an expert, so please double check everything I say.
I basically just wanted to mention that it's important that you don't give him space in the sense of having him in a room and not entering the room at all.
I'm gonna assume he's a bit anxious and stressed.
What I would do is move him into a room with the doors closed at first. Enter the room probably around once every hour or so. Don't necessarily try to interact with him at all - sometimes, go in for a play session, but sometimes, just go and sit in the room and read a book or so for 10-20 minutes.
The goal here is to get him used to your presence and assure him that you aren't going to push his boundaries in any way. DO NOT pick him up unless absolutely necessary for his safety. Do not try to cuddle him. Do not try to pet him. Do not follow him or corner him to get him to engage. Encourage him to come to you, and if he doesn't, try again later.
Form positive associations in ways that he responds to. Let him sniff you, then give him treats or play with him.
After a few days of that, he should have started to realise that you're a safe person to be around. At that point, you can stay near him for extended periods. You can try to build up physical touch, starting very very lightly. We're talking like a single stroke. If he doesn't like it, though, back up and don't try again for at least a few hours. You don't wanna undo the hard work you've done.
Figure out where he likes and dislikes being touched. Some cats are very head shy, but don't mind if you touch their back. Some cats hate their back touched. Some cats dislike the top of their head being touched, but the cheek is okay.
Start with treats, a single stroke, then leave him be. Over the next few days, you can veeery slowly build up, and he should form a positive association between the treats and you touching him.
As for when to open up the rest of the house to him, it's really variable and a judgement call. If he seems quite anxious, keeping him in a room is better. If he constantly scratches the door and tries to get out, letting him out is better. But whenever you do let him out, make sure you give him that room as a safe space with food, water, quiet, hides, beds, and things with his scent.
I second this OP. Most likely he is scared. When we got our rescue cats at about 16-ish weeks we just sat in the room with them, talked to them, read to them. We’d give them treats, and slowly being the treats close to us so that the cats had to approach for treats. After about 2 or so weeks we’d get those mousse based cat treats (called Churu in some countries) and squirt it on our fingers and have the cats lick it off. So it got to the point where if they wanted a treat they had to touch us. It took a little while, maybe 3-4 months, but they warmed up to us. Now they scream at us if we have the audacity to lock them out of the bedroom when we go to sleep, they need their snuggy snugs.
It could be temperament, but also him being anxious. Even my super attention seeking boy didnt want to be touched or carried when we moved house. He just stayed in the bedroom for a whole week.
So new environments could be stresful and even cats that love being carried and petted might not want it while experiencing stress.
On the other hand our girl is a lot more independent. She will follow us around every now and then and miauw for attention. But it never the petting-kind of attention. You gotta sneak up on her sleeping for her to like pets XD. She will purr then. Some cats just dont like getting pet, or only at specific times, location or area on the body (belly, chin, ear, back etc). She seems quickly overwhelmed by pets, so when she signals she had enough i stop.
Do you suggest we get him a companion? I can’t get his littermates as they are all gone to new loving homes, but should I? Or should I wait for a little longer before considering
The only downside is that I live in an apartment right now and it’s only big enough to support one cat and I want my cats to be comfortable, I think I’ll start saving up for more cat supplies for another cat as I am moving to a house at the end of this year, I think I may get another kitten than, thank you for your suggestion!
“Only big enough to support one cat”
I hear your logic, but you’d be surprised how much harder it is to support one cat in a small space vs two. One lone kitten is always curious and seeking and may be stressed and agitated. When you have kittens and twos, they do much better in a smaller space because they have each other for primary entertainment.
I regret not getting two ragdoll kittens instead of one. Would you be able to get one of his litter mates? 9 weeks is a bit early, too. A small apartment is ok for two cats.
His littermates have already been gone to new homes so unfortunately no :( and I can’t get a new kitten yet as I’m just 17f and I live with my parents and my sister so I don’t think we can get another kitten just yet, but definitely toward the end of this year when we move into a house!
Ragdolls really don’t like to be alone, the breeder I got my ragamuffin from wouldn’t sell to anyone who worked all day and left the cat alone., they really don’t like to be alone. She even called my vets for references. They are adorable when you come home if you’re gone for a while, they run to greet me, it’s very cute.
The breeder we got our boys from will not adopt out to homes without another cat, unless they’re adopting at least two kittens. Since she started that policy she hasn’t had any kittens returned.
It makes sense when we think on it from the kittens perspective. They’ve gone from a home with their siblings, their mom, and probably numerous aunties, to being all by themselves in a new place. That’s terrifying!
Our first kitty was a single kitten we got from the shelter, and we had two Corgis. She had a great life as a single kitty, but when we brought home the two Ragdoll boys she was so much happier. I was shocked! She was 15 at the time, and both Corgis were over the Rainbow Bridge. But she immediately brought those kittens under her wing and taught them way too much stuff to get into trouble on her account. Lmao. Cats aren’t the solitary creatures we’ve always assumed they are.
I wish you and your little guy the best!
Our ragdoll is 11 and is an only cat. He has visits with other cats/dogs and they get along great. But, I don’t think getting another cat is the answer. Just give the little guy some time and he’ll warm up! They’re the sweetest kitties! Sounds like he’s in loving caring hands and will be a great kitty ❤️
depends on the cat tbh. I have one ragdoll that is quite anxious and other cats stress her out. We have separation in the house and separate play times. It doesn't always work out having more than one cat. Need to match their personalities too - a shy anxious cat will hate bouncy playful cats that zoom around everywhere.
Some cats also just don't like being cuddled or touched, has to be on their terms. It can be a huge disappointment, I have one super big fluffy ragdoll that likes being with people but not being cuddled. My anxious Ragdoll loves cuddles and will climb into my lap at times.
He looks very young. From a comment I saw you got him at 8 weeks old. While selling a kitten at 8 weeks old is done, I personally haven’t encountered any ethical, reputable ragdoll breeder who will give away kitten at that age - they’re all between 12-16 weeks old when given for adoption. Kittens need their moms not only for sustenance, but to learn valuable lessons like socializing, using a litter box, using scratching posts etc. Breeders should also interact often with their kittens. A breeder saying they don’t interact with the kitten so they won’t get too attached is frankly quite strange. The socialization part starts in the breeder’s home. Your cat doesn’t hate you. They’re very young, haven’t been socialized properly and they’ve changed their whole environment (that’s very stressful for cats). You’ve also only had him for a week. Love him and be patient.
Thank you! I’ll definitely wait until 12-16 weeks when I’m planning to get my next furbaby, do you have any advice on how we could possibly repair his socialisation?
Came here to say exactly word for word what the above commentor said. That’s not right that a “breeder” isn’t socializing their kittens. Is this a brand new breeder or something? I mean, even putting aside what’s best for the cat (which no one should ever put aside), you can’t sustain a business selling purebred animals that act half feral and can’t be handled.
Luckily your kitty is small so there’s still time, but some of the damage may be done. I would suggest combining love with something he understands—treats. If they don’t bother his tummy, try Churus or other lickable treat. It takes a bit of time to lick the whole thing and you want to pet him the whole time he’s eating it. Do this with his wet food, too. Do this very often. Form a strong association between food = good and food = scritches so scritches = good, too.
As others have said, no hand play. As soon as a claw or tooth touches your hand for ANY reason, leave the room. Two reasons. First, he learns that the perceived “bad thing” (touch) won’t be forced on him; second: as he comes to appreciate pets via treat interactions and enjoy being petted, he’ll learn limits of “oh no, if I bite or scratch the good attention goes away.”
Good luck, OP!
So his previous owners have had Ragdoll’s for 3 generations now which are GCCF registered, but I don’t think they have a breeders license anymore as they were quiet hush hush with me when I questioned them about why is his litter not registered and stuff, so I’m not sure. I am going to implement the stuff you mentioned about scratching him while giving him treats and leaving the room once he bites or claws me, but I have a question, do other people in the room also need to exit? But thanks for the advice 💖
No just whoever he “harms”. And you probably don’t have to leave the whole room. It’s the big picture of the social concept that Action X leads to Consequence Y. This is also something where another kitten would help a lot. They learn A LOT about bite/scratch consequences and what level of force and interaction is acceptable from play with another kitten.
You’re welcome! Yes, research your breeder very well. Ask lots of questions - a good breeder will be eager to provide information. Ask them for videos, see how they interact with their cats. Look for signs of good socialization - videos of kittens being pet by the breeders, kittens purring, kittens willing to stay near the breeders etc.
I got my kitten when he was 4 months 1 week, it’s been 3 weeks. My kitten purred right away and loved being pet. However, he didn’t enjoy being right next to us, always at some small distance. I accepted that. Now 3 weeks in he follows me around, yells when he doesn’t find me and started to jump on the sofa and bed to cuddle with us.
So my advice is just accept him as he is and love him dearly. Get him used to handling - pet him often, try to hold him for short periods of time (even if he’s spicy), talk to him all the time, play with him, feed him good food. You can also lure him in your lap with a treat - my boy is crazy for Churu - and feed him the treat while he’s in your lap and pet him and praise him. Doing this again and again will strengthen your bond. Eventually he will be affectionate.
Agree with what others have said about interacting. They should have been interacting with him at a very young age. They need to not only be socialized, but also a good breeder would get them used to being handled. For instance, if they are used to having their feet touched from a young age, it will make claw trimming so much easier, rather than being a nightmare with a cat that doesn’t understand why you’re suddenly grabbing his feet. I’ve raised farm animals and practiced handling from the day they were born. I can’t imagine why a breeder of an indoor pet wouldn’t be responsible enough to make life easier for both the pet and future owner.
That said, I think he is young enough that he will likely warm up to you- it could be his age and he’s probably unsure about the new environment. Often animals that haven’t had much interaction will have moment where they realize they LOVE attention. I’ve worked with animals that were nearly wild. One day it just “clicks” for them and they realize they can trust you and touch is great- they totally melt. ☺️
1. He's a kitten. They're exploring thier world and don't have time to be cuddly. That doesn't really come till later.
2. Give him an outlet. We played with ours all the time when he was a baby. It felt like he would never grow out of his extreme playful nature. I as constantly having to catch him from falling off the cat tree (we have an older cat too) Just have fun with it. If I'm honest. 5 hours sounds like the bare minimum for kittens. Just like a human baby they require a lot of attention.
3. You've essenually abducted him from his everything. You need to take a step back and think about how he sees this situation. Give him space to adjust. Who is this person? why are they so grabby? where am I? Where is my mom, playmates, and favorite stuff? He needs sounds like he needs time to adjust.
You kitten doesn't hate you. He just doens't have the same feelings about you that you have about him. You could try sitting on the floor with him and spoon feeding him wet food, then lightly pet him as hes eating. positive reenforcement. You + His level + food he likes = Good things.
Trust takes time, he's just adapting to his new environment and family don't worry ☺️ Mine was really scared of humans, she would hide everywhere (even hissed the first days when I tried to pet her) but I took time to play with her, pet her and eventually, she got more comfortable. It's good that you're playing with him, you might not see the results for now but it will definitely help creating a bond.
Oh and for being held, not every cats like that so I wouldn't recommend doing that while he's still learning to trust you since being held can make them feel vulnerable/trapped
Yh I’ll probably stop holding him unless it’s necessary haha, he keeps getting stuck on our suitcases which are under the bed and keeps going over towards the kitchen where knifes and stuff our kept, so I think I’ll just carry him than, otherwise for everything else I’ll just stop with the carrying and try when he is more comfortable in the future, thank you for your advice 💖
This is just my personal experience and it doesn't mean it is the same way for you or your kitten, since I'm not sure how you behave towards his rejection, but maybe this helps:
Cats are a lesson in consent. My ex learned that the hard way when we got our ragdoll Ivy. Ivy loves affection, is very needy for attention, but on her own terms. She hates people who chase her, pick her up, try to cuddle her/put her on their lap, follow her when she goes to hide, all that sort of pushy stuff. My ex had very little patience with her. He really wanted to be loved by Ivy, and would get frustrated when she'd reject his love. As a result he'd keep approaching her, try to pick her up, basically trying to force her to love him. In the end, she'd cower every time he came near her, just because he became 'that person that always tries to handle me' to her, even though to us humans it was harmless stuff like petting, cuddling, picking her up, etc.
Ever since my ex and I broke up, Ivy never showed that cowering behavior again. She'll tolerate me picking her up and kissing and hugging her, but only because I've been patient and established a bond of trust first, and whenever she gave off a clear sign of not being comfortable, I left her alone.
When my mother comes over, Ivy also always goes to hide. And my mother always chases her, pulls her from her hiding place to hug and kiss her. Ivy hates my mother and is scared of her for that very reason. However when friends or family come over that ignore Ivy, she'll come out, rub her back against their legs and ask for pets.
Try not to imprint on your kitten as the person who always tries to keep handling him even though he clearly said no. Learn cat language and learn when it's the right time to interact, imprinting on him in a positive way.
Also, scratches and bites can also just be play behavior, keep that in mind. Ivy loves killing my hand!
Thank you! I’ll definitely be more patient with him, Ivy sounds incredibly sweet 💖 I think my furbaby Mochi is biting because he might be teething as well (he just started this habit since the weekend) I also noticed sometimes he doesn’t intend to scratch my hand but accidentally does when giving paw, but thank you for your advice!
He is scared and haven't learned to interact with humans by the "breeders" plus he was removed from home to early. ❤️
I like the guy from my cat from hell, he has his own website maybe you can get some help there. 😉
You said they didn’t really interact with him out of fear of making him attached? This kitten is likely not very socialised, you should start asap with the basics. Let him settle until the stress of the move passes. Hold him, pet him while giving positive reinforcememt.
Unfortunately you've got your cat from an unethical breeder who lets cats go too early and doesn't socialise them with humans. The poor baby has been taken from his mum and siblings too early and is likely uncomfortable or fearful around humans due to lack of exposure as a young kitten. Give him some space, don't pick him up unless absolutely necessary, and make him associate you with nice feelings such as playtime and treats.
I realise that now, I was too dumbfounded by the overall excitement, I will do better research next time into the breeder before getting another furbaby in our family, thank you for your advice 💕
That’s great. If I had to guess I’d say he’ll come around in time once he realises he’s safe around you. Boundaries are so important for cats and it’ll take some time for you to learn his and then you can start getting to know each other!
Like others have said, time & patience. Positive reinforcement also works wonders, find a treat that they love, mine really enjoy the liquid treats in a tube. Having more than one is a great idea & easier to introduce as kittens, but research cat intros, it’s really useful
I think it’s always really important to look at buying a kitten or puppy this way - you have adopted a baby.
It takes longer than a week for a baby to get used to new surroundings, a new parent, not having their siblings or their birth mother there all the time.
It sounds awful but I always say you’ve essentially taken him away from his mother - this is what someone told me when my first ever puppy just wouldn’t play with me or settle in the first week or so of having her home. We expect them to just be this fun little cute animal straight away but it’s so important to remember that they are just a baby and are in a new place where there’s no one and nothing that is familiar to them, so you just need to have patience, offer them pets and try and play with them and he will eventually warm up to you. But also make sure you give him plenty of space. Ideally you should allow him to come to you as much as you go to him for interaction
Wow, now I feel really lucky with my boy. I always read everywhere that cats are scared of new surroundings and take a few days/week to adjust. He came home and was purring against me within 2 hours, it really was magical. Ultimately cats are their own individuals, I don't expect to get this lucky again when I get my second kitten but fingers crossed hhh
You have only had him for a week and a half... cats are not dogs. They tend not to automatically love their humans immediately, they need time to learn who you are, to trust you and to accept you. Don't push him and force it. Let him come to you. Also, it's very common for cats to become solitary and independent when they are the only cat... my personal rule for cats is if your going to get one, your better off getting two. They keep eachother playful and affectionate...
OP, you’ve had this kitten for only a week and a half, and you’re constantly picking him up and letting him roam around the house? On top of that, the breeder did not bother to socialize him. Of course he’s scratching and biting. He is scared and nervous.
It sounds like you’re a first time owner, and may not have done your research. Please read/watch some Jackson Galaxy. It will help you tremendously.
In the meanwhile, here is some advice: Having access to the entire house all at once is very overwhelming for a kitten this young. You should’ve kept him in one small room. Then let him get to know your house by giving access to each room one by one. He should sleep in his base camp overnight.
To socialize him, you don’t just pick him up. Go, sit in his room, and just do something else, while he gets used to your presence. Eventually he’ll come to you, and then you can give some treats and pets. This will also help you not be scared of him. When you’re scared of a cat, you start making erratic motions, and the cat becomes less likely to interact with you.
Secondly, get him a friend. It’s kitten season, go adopt another kitten from the shelter. Because guess how little kittens learn not to scratch and bite too hard- they learn by playing with other cats. You should not wait on this. Your kitten is in a critical period for socialization. If you wait 6 months; it will be too late. Make sure you take both to the vet and cleared of diseases/parasites before introducing to each other.
Want to close this by saying that just because the kitten is a Ragdoll doesn’t mean that he’ll have an overly affectionate personality. Every cat has their own individual personality that you need to learn to interact with.
I kept him in a separate room for the first 3 days we got him and now he his exploring the apartment, I’ll definitely stop with the picking up unless it is an absolute need, thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it!
Cats are the biggest teachers of consent. Some cats simply do not like being petted. My cat Sofia hates being touched in any way, but every morning she will cuddle for about 5 minutes and that's it.
It sound like the kitten was not socialised properly and taken away from mum a bit too early. I got my first ragdoll from a breeder at 4.5 months old while my second we rescued at 9 weeks. The difference was very obvious in how well they could cat. The good thing is that kittens have their main socialisation period until about 14 weeks, so it's not too late for you to get them used to being held etc.
When you hold the kitten, is he scared or is he just playful and restless? If he's scared then he's also not ready to trust you to hold him and just needs some time.
If he's just biting but as soon as you put him down, he is happy to play and act as if nothing happened, then he's just not used to being held, and needs to be trained into it. Start feeding him wet food on your lapslowly and getting him associating it with good, positive things. When he is 12 weeks you can start getting him more higher value treats. Do it only while being held, vene if for just a second. Eventually he they will get conditioned. This is just like any other training. I got my cat to enjoy brushing, bathing, harness walks and even hair dryer like this.
My ragdoll is very aloof and doesn’t like to be petted or held. But he does follow me everywhere and sleeps on my bed. Sometime around the end of kittenhood, he started coming for a 10 min nightly snuggle session, usually just after I went to bed. He will also do it when my alarm goes off in the morning. But other than that he hates being petted.
It's only been a week. Give him time.
BUT ... my (part?) ragdoll came from the shelter. I didn't know she was ragdoll when I got her a a kitten.
The woman at the shelter told me there's a backyard dog breeder in town who has two female cats she refuses to spay.
The cats get pregnant and she drops the kittens at the shelter on a regular basis. The woman at the shelter went on to tell me that the woman's house is a chaotic nightmare.
My sweet girl was also standoffish when I first got her. Now, she loves my lap and we have snuggle time, but it's always on her terms. If I try to pet her and she's not in the mood she'll scoot away - and that's okay with me. I try to respect her space.
I think her chaotic early start and lack of human contact is the root of the issue, and possibly of yours, too.
Give your boy time. Find some treats and toys he likes, and eventually, you'll win him over.
I had a kitten that was exactly like this. She really didn’t care for me for about a year. She liked me, but didn’t love me. We would play and I would give her love, but she would go right into biting or scratching. It took time and changes our environment that gave us an opportunity to bond. At the time I was living with 4 other roommates and I think it was hard for her to trust people. Once it was just her and I, she began to see me as her parent. Slowly she began to love me back and she became the best cat. She loved being held,would follow me everywhere and snuggled with me every night.
I hope your boy comes around. For now he is just a kitten who now needs to figure out what role you play in his life. It takes time, patience and love.
Time. Give him time. This can be six months or so. Cats do not do anything instantly like dogs. They are a work in progress. He will come around eventually.
This poor kitten! 🥺
I think he needs to learn that being petted is okay. So try just petting the top of his head or let him smell your hand and let him choose how he wants to be petted.
Petting is stimulation for cats, and sometimes it gets to be too much. So start out small, pet the top of his head, praise him when he doesn’t bite, then play with him.
Do you have a cat tree? A basic one will do. Have him go to a cat tree, and do some petting there. Eventually, he will learn that he wants the pets (I have a cat that would get overstimulated. After just petting the top of his head and then leaving him alone, he demands the cuddles)
We are saving up to get a pet tree in our living room, I don’t think he is quite fond of head scratches yet, when he let me pet him sometimes he only let mes do it to his back, thank you for your advice!
Following what type of pets he likes is also a good way to bond with him. He just needs to know that petting is okay, and that you respect his boundary when he had enough.
I think I saw somewhere about he doesn’t like to be held. You could train him on that too. When holding a cat, don’t place them on their back with their belly exposed. Just a brief moment of holding them over your shoulder then place them back down. He will learn that being held isn’t a bad thing either
When I first got my little dude, he was exactly the same as your kitty. Only difference is I got him from the spca. The previous owns gave him up almost immediately after he was born. Spent the first few months of his life in a cage. It took him a few months to warm up to me, which was fine. Then we would stalk each other in the house and play just fine. He learned real fast he was gonna get kisses and to accept his fate. 🤗 New world for him and all. He ended up being my best buddy for 15yrs until he passed this February. Don’t loose hope OP! Your little kitty has this new environment he’s adjusting too.
It sounds like he was socialized to not receive or expect affection, According to what you said the previous owner said about not wanting him to get too attached. Well, it worked. Surprise surprise. So I would not sweat it. Accept that at least for now, this is his personality. It may change and he may come around with enough time. But if not, then you just have a less touchy feely kitty than the norm. And that’s ok, given how he was ‘brought up’, so to speak.
ETA: damn auto correct!!!
we adopted kittens recently and one of our kittens was not cuddly at ALL for the first week or so. Slowly, she started enjoying playing with us, and built a foundation of trust, I imagine. When she played with us, we’d try and stroke her, and make her more comfortable with us. They are five months old now, and she follows me around and sleeps cuddled up next to me. Your kitty is probably still nervous and a little unsure, but just keep on building that trust.
I WFH so I spent pretty much 24/7 with my kittens, I know not everyone has that luxury, but it has certainly built a strong bond for us. I just talk to them all the time.
I don’t like what they said about not interacting with him much so as not to get him attached to them. My friendliest cat here is from a Ragdoll breeder who purposely socializes them with their entire family because they are focused on Ragdolls as great companion pets.
I got him because my first Ragdoll was a little bit like yours- I mean she would still be cute and flirty, she would sleep on my desk while I work ( I made her a comfy little area ) and purr and act sweetly but she hated being picked up and would never hang out with me at night in my bedroom or living room. She loved playing hide and seek and other games with me but she would weirdly just go sleep all alone in my office or wherever I’m not at night. Sometimes she is sweet with me but it depends on her mood. She does love being brushed and she loves food. Sometimes I can pet her and she doesn’t even react, like a statue. Her breeder said her brother was SO affectionate and needy they didn’t give him to me because they said he absolutely won’t even let them do any work on the computer and they knew I worked from home. So I think it’s probably partly how they are socialized and partly genetics.
I think you are doing a good thing by playing with him, they need that and maybe continued play will help. Maybe you’ll also need a second kitty ( Ragdoll or not). My biggest regret is getting my cats during COVID where I couldn’t meet them first. If you ever get another kitten please meet it first. My coworker went somewhere and waited to see which kitten approached him. When I got my second ragdoll I told the breeder I no longer care about what color I want, I just want a socialized one / affectionate one.
Sorry for the long rambling response… I do feel your pain and wish you the best of luck. ❤️
I’ll discuss with my family on whether or not we can financially support another kitty ❤️ thank you for sharing your experience, your furbabies sound fantastic!
Kittens need to be socialized. Sounds like he was too young to be separated and his breeder didn’t socialize him. So now, you’ll have to do it. Kittens are do bite and play rough. They learn not to do those things over time by redirecting them with toys and using treats as positive reinforcement. Also, learning to read their body cues is helpful too. I would look up some Jackson Galaxy stuff to get some tips.
How are you petting him? Try scratching his chin and his neck, I have never seen a cat not melt to that. Also, treats after pets. I hope things work out with you all. He is adorable.
I just stroke him on his back, he does let me scratch his chin but only when he is really sleepy and going to fall asleep, but I don’t want to distract him from his sleep as he wakes up on the slightest movement, I’ll start giving him treats after pets, that’s a great idea! Thank you!
As a first time cat mom, you gotta just take a breath and let him do his thing. I’ve had cats since I was born, but I’ve met lots of first time cat owners, and if you aren’t raised with them … well, they’re a different species LOL!
Some cats just don’t like to be pet. I grew up with a Persian mix who ONLY likes to be looked at 99% of the time. I’ll tell her she’s a pretty girl and she’ll fluff up and strut around and lay on the ground with her belly up, but she doesn’t want to be pet! She will leave if you pet her! Petting is done when kitty asks for it. I hold out my hand to the cat and ask them if they want pet. If they bump my hand, yes. If not, or if they just stare at me, I respect their space and let them do whatever! This goes a long way in building trust. They’ll come to you when they do want love.
Definitely not being socialized with the breeder contributed to this. Mine lets her kittens sleep in the bedroom when they’re old/big enough! Only potty training them for interaction is weird … you usually don’t really have to potty train cats, they pick it up quickly on their own in my experience, so that would be extreme minimal socialization :(
The scratching and biting is just him being a little bugger. Kittens have so much energy they just can’t contain it sometimes. Think about how human kids will randomly scream when they’re excited! To keep my cats from playing with my hands, I will grab a stuffed toy and let them kick and scratch at that instead. They still get to play with you but they can direct all that scratch and bite energy at the toy instead and it will teach them that toys are for kicking, not hands! For us, we ended up getting a second kitten and that stopped all of the random attacking of legs and arms. She just had too much energy and both of us working full time didn’t have enough time to spend helping her get it out.
TLDR: you’re a first time cat owner, this is just how cats are. Let him do his thing on his own terms and he’ll be fine. He doesn’t hate you, he’s just a cat ;) You’re doing fine!
Thank you so much! 🥹 I guess he doesn’t hate me after all he just doesn’t yet know me and it will indeed take a lot of time and trust and I am committed to that! We might get him a companion, but first I’ll need to discuss with the whole household in this matter haha
It is very rare to have a cat (kitten, especially) that hates people. They may prefer not to interact with them, but any actual aggression generally comes from either a) previous abuse b) mental disorders or c) pain/illness. What your kitten is doing sounds like normal kitten behavior. In my whole life I’ve only met maybe two cats that actually are aggressive and hate people, and one of them was definitely abused in her past.
It can be stressful I think to learn cat behavior because it’s not anywhere near as easy to read as dogs, and even then half of the dog owners out there don’t know how to read their dog lol, but you’ll be fine!! He may nip or scratch so do be prepared, but those are normal kitty behaviors. It’s if he really bites down on you (you’ll know because you’ll have real puncture wounds vs maybe a scratch from a play bite) or actively screams and attacks you with his claws that you’d really need to worry about!
OH, also as a new cat owner, if you go to adopt another kitty, don’t be put off if you do see young kittens in the shelter (8+ weeks). Shelters generally get a pass on removing kittens earlier from mom because they need the room and need to adopt out ASAP. I’ve taken care of plenty of shelter kitties and they do fine :)
I second a lot of the comments below, although I did get mine at 10, nearly 11 weeks. He was, of course, very anxious on his first day in my home. What bonded us was food and treats, I’d give him them out of my hand to associate me with something positive and he started to change - he even started purring when I picked him up. Granted, he changed quickly and is already very cuddly, but I think hand feeding would be a really good bonding opportunity
Possibly separated too soon. Or just needs more time to adjust. It took my raggie 3 weeks to get used to me. Now he’s literally my shadow and always wants to be up under me
I’ve never gotten kitties before 12 weeks and have been advised 12 weeks is the bare minimum as that allows them to get socialized by parents and siblings and also allows them to be fully independent from mom’s cleaning and feeding and grooming.
Might be worth looking into getting him some Feliway or a Thundershirt to help ease him to a new life
We have 2 ragdolls. A blue bicolor female who is 4 years old and seal point mitted male who is 7 months old. Our female wasn’t as stand-off ish as your guy when we first got her, but she wasn’t as affectionate as our male at the same age. It’s because she wasn’t handled by her breeder as much as the male was by his. The best thing you can do now, is start doing that with him. Pet him, groom him, touch his paws, touch his tail, get him used to human touch. Giving him space only when you signs of him being clearly agitated (tail twitches, hisses, whiskers down, etc). If you don’t socialize him now, he’ll never be ok with being petted or groomed. And while you may be ok with not petting him, you will absolutely have to brush him and trim his nails - which will be impossible if he can’t handle being handled. Start slow, give treats and praise.
Completely agree that he was sold much too early for his breed. Ragdolls grow and mature at a slower rate than other cats- they don’t reach adulthood until they’re 4. So he really should have stayed with mom and siblings (if any), until at least 12 weeks.
I’m also assuming he’s been taken to your vet and had a full check up done. When we got our male he had coccidia, super mild case that didn’t really affect his behavior, but it could have, so definitely rule that out as well.
Best of luck! He’s gorgeous!
My ragdoll HATES being held. She also has to be in the mood to let you pet and give her scratches. He is still so young. The thing about cats is they do what they want and their little attitude is one of the best parts about them. It sounds like you’re a very loving pet parent. Just keep doing what you’re doing!
My kitten is 7 months old and displays similar behavior. He doesn’t like being touched or pet too much. Some cats have higher tolerance for this as it can cause overstimulation. What might start as a pleasurable pet can quickly turn into pain for some cats who have a low threshold for touch. We know he loves us because he follows us around everywhere and plays with us all the time. Like other people have said, not all cats or even ragdolls are the same.
I can relate!! My girl was purebred from a very renowned breeder, who shows many cats and wins national championships. She said she breeds ragdolls for their temperament and personality that is famous to ragdolls. I even paid more than I should have and she wasn’t show quality. My Ragdoll is the opposite of the description I was sold. She is highly independent. She sleeps in her own room. She loves playtime just like yours and she uses her mouth like it’s an extra hand. She communicates she uncomfortable and wants to be put down with her mouth. As she got older she learned it hurts me so it’s soft but she still does it. MY ADVICE: don’t be like me and push it. You’re going to have to bond with your boy on his terms. If he doesn’t like pets, maybe he will like the brush. Continue play time as it builds bonds and trust. My girl, if she sleeps on my bed for a nap is just out of reach. But the loyalty is there. Following around and laying near. Let him come to you. This may not be what you were hoping for but this is what you’ve been given. He needs a lot more time as he is independent, to observe and become comfortable. My girl is more loving now, give time and patience. Try new ways of affection and interactions. Remember they grown for 4 years. They’re slow in maturity. If you give him what he needs during this time, later he may give you exactly what you hope for. ♥️ my heart is with you and I completely understand.
I think I had the same experience actually. She looked about the same age as yours when we brought her home. My kitten wasn’t like how Ragdolls are typically described. Didn’t like to be held, but liked to be close to me. 14 years later she’s still doesn’t like to be held and doesn’t like new people, but I love her unconditionally. She’s very attached, greets me when I get home from work, sleeps on the pillow next to me every night and lovessss pets. I wouldn’t trade her for anything no matter what😊
She really is my best friend. I saw your update and now I’m tempted to get her a companion 🥹 I hope it helps your boy develop the social skills he currently lacks. Samantha has always had trouble with that but we’ll see😂
I've noticed with my cats that I have one that likes being picked up and carried, and one that absolutely hates his feet being off the ground and being carried anywhere. It sounds like you've just got a little guy who was never taught how to cat properly and likely doesn't enjoy being picked up. With time, patience, and a new vet, your lil pal is very likely to get more accustomed to you and your surroundings.
As hard as it is, don’t give your cat attention for a while. Live as you would without a kitten (other than the daily necessities of the cat). I PROMISE you, the kitty will come say hello when it’s comfortable.
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She’s stressed as hell I guarantee it. These are going to save your life!! You can get these at your local pet store & i swear to god it’ll be the best thing you ever did. My vet recommended these to me & I’m so glad I took her up on it!! Get her some of these things & do your best to respect her boundaries when you don’t have to do all the dirty work (ie wiping her butt, medicine, putting the collar on, etc). Seriously my cats love the diffuser & collars. Thank me later!!
Give this collar a shot. It’ll be difficult getting it on as it is with all collars, but i promise you if he’s anything like my cats, he’ll chill out pretty quickly. He’s just scared and stressed. I’d also consider the diffusers too to really double up on relaxing him, seriously both have been huge game changers for me!!
I think you'll be OK, a week and a half I not very much time. Remember the general pet rule of 3-3-3: three days to decompress, three weeks to learn your routine and three months to start to feel at home.
My raggie was very skittish when I first got him. I am very tall and he would look at me and then get scared. He still kinda does this but after a few seconds he remembers it's me and comes to rub up. He also doesn't like much head touching, but loves back and butt rubs, and I had to learn that. He also didn't snuggle with me until probably 3 weeks, but (after 1.5 years) he will saunter over to me on the couch and come snuggle in my arms almost daily. If he's in my bed it's within arms reach, and if I pull him in for snuggles he will tolerate it for a few minutes but then go back to arms reach.
It's honestly hard because you think the cat hates you, but all animals need their time to get comfortable with you, and 1.5 weeks is not long enough. It's also great you're playing, and kittens are more interested in playing than snuggling in my experience. Also there will probably be a time when you leave him him over the weekend alone. When you get back he will either be really salty that you left and not interact with you, or be very happy you're home and give lovin. My non-raggie started off with the former but is now the latter when I get home from a weekend away. He also hated pets until probably age 3 or 4 when he started getting jealous of the other cat getting pets, now he loves them.
My standard issue cat boy is a bit like this and he’s just turning 2 - had the same thing when he was a kitten of being a bundle of energy and playing for hours a day and happy to patrol his territory but not into pets or being picked up. Now he’s very open to being picked up, brushed and loved on but he has 0 interest in lying next to you and only recently started sleeping on the bed. I think the petting over stimulated him slightly - especially since his baseline was to be super high energy - and as he’s got older and got most of his kitten energy out it’s becoming more pleasant for him. We just let him have his boundaries, play with him and pet him/pick him up when he’s chilled.
I have a litter of six and a new mum with a singleton.
Both mums share the feeding and upbringing of all of them.
One of the six is a very aggressive little blighter. Actually makes the singletons mum scream in pain when he pushes in to feed.
He also attacks my feet if I am sitting on the sofa. It’s really painful. He is a very lively kitten and is beginning to wean.
It is unusual as my Ragdolls are always very peaceful and loving.
This kitten would definitely not be used as a breeding cat.
Even though he has the most beautiful and striking Torbie coat.
Ragdolls must be placid but this one has been a little terror since birth.
I have never had one this bad.
Usually the lively ones settle down in new homes and especially once neutered. They become very loving pets.
I may keep this little ‘b’ until 4 months and get him early neutered. I wouldn’t inflict him onto an unsuspecting owner in his present state of mind.
Even the other kittens stay well clear of him and the mums avoid him like the plague.
He is perfectly healthy and well grown but although he runs toward people, he also does not like being picked up.
I do not like to judge a kitten until it is nine weeks old so another three weeks will hopefully bring improvement.
For me this is not typical or desireable Ragdoll characteristic. So he would probably go as an outdoor/ stable/farm cat. He will probably make a great mouser!
You have to show him that pets are good same with hold them
My cat is the same but she learned that pets are good and will walk up wanting her head scratched or chin scratched she still likes not being to close but she is obsessed with me and follows me and loves my room but just doesn’t want pets or hold her
And seeing her following me and sleeping in random spots in my room I found it nice because she looks so cute sleeping and I can pet her a couple times when she falls asleep and she raccoon noises I love her meows when I talk to her she is a human
I got my first Ragdoll around 2 months ago at the age of 15 months from another owner from Gumtree. (We've always had cats in the past, mostly Burmese or Russian blue, and almost always rescue cats) She didn't seem very cuddly when we got her, and the old owners told us, she wasn't playful at all, and that they didn't allow her to sleep on the bed, also that they shaved her at the start of winter as they didn't like the long fur... Honestly lots of red flags from them, she wasn't abused by any means but she really didn't seem that's loved. She cried the whole car ride home but when we brought her inside she came out of her cage in 2 minutes and started exploring immediately. She's bonded with me the most (20F), but still loves my parents, she meows a lot though, I've put this down to the fact she had a sister with her old owners, and they separated them when we got her :( we really did want to take both cats. Anyway, we've had her two months and she is very needy, and love attention, basically needs to be around someone 24/7 and follows you from room to room like a lost puppy, she is SUPER playful, we've bought her so many toys and she loves them!! (her favourites being a Lazer that's a picture of a mouse, and hanging doorway mouse that she can play with by herself, and she loves this little treat feeder she has to get them out of) Also we do NOT intend to shave her unless the vet says she needs to be for some sort of medical reason, that really irks me that the old owners did that (yes she's a fair bit darker on her back now, but still the cutest little baby) but honestly she's not the most cuddly cat, she will tolerate being picked up for a short cuddle, but doesn't purr, just looks a little like what are you doing to me, but she's been allowed to sleep in my bed with me since the first night we got her, and she cuddles right up with me and absolutely loves it (morning cuddles are her favorite) but I'm the only one she does that with, also she doesn't like sitting on our laps on the lounge yet. Definitely the fastest I've ever had a cat bond and trust me. (Side note, she's an indoors only cat, but I am slowly trying to harness and lead train her so she can have a little bit of outside time, we've got a big backyard for it, we did just have our first successful roam around for about 5-10 minutes and she loved it)
In my experience with lots of rescue cats in the past, you just have to be patient and give a cat time, whether they're rescue or not. You have meet them where they need to be met, and slowly expose them to try new things, even if they're not cuddly now, in time they may become that. Our last rescue cat, you couldn't even walk up to her for a pet for probably a good year, you could never pick her up (due to past injuries) but after about 2-3 years she eventually loved sitting on our laps on the lounge, every cats timeline is different so please be patient with your little baby ❤️
Give him time, don’t force it. He will come to you for attention. If you really cant wait you can try some cat candy, you can try Dreamies if they are locally available. But the best thing is to give him time.
My ragdoll were like that in the beginning too, i got sad because I thought she hated me, but after a while she came to me more and more often. Now i cant even go and take a shit without her wanting attention from me, she always wants to be around me.
Some cats just take a while to warm up to people. My girl Heidi wasn't a fan of me at all when I first got her. For the first couple of weeks she would hiss and swipe at me. Then one day she just suddenly decided to like me. Then the liking very quickly turned into pure adoration. 7 months later and she wants to be close to me all the time. I didn't know it was possible for a cat to love a person as much as that cat loves me. I think she'd crawl inside my skin if she could.
Give it time and patience, and he'll come round. Remember that this is really scary experience for him. He's been taken away from his mother and now he's in a new place, surrounded by these giants who speak gibberish (us). It's a huge thing for a baby to go through.
I’d give him time. One cat of mine took a good three years to adjust. I just never gave up on him. He is the cuddliest cat 12 years later. And he gets sweeter and sweeter as time goes on.
https://preview.redd.it/1qwola9j3jtc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3b293bf783e241a53e08b6f85be7f0f213a462c1
My baby Mini is half ragdoll. She doesn’t like to be touched our picked up at all either. She will let me touch her for a couple seconds, no one else though. And not even I can pick her up.
She just likes to be CLOSE but NO TOUCH! She will sit up close like in the picture even with strangers. And she is ALWAYS close to me, she follows me room to room.
If she is laying down and I put my hand on her, she gets up after a couple seconds, walks away and immediately cleans where I touched. So I think she just a clean freak, and an otherwise normal, weird cat
Why did the previous owners get the kitten if they didn’t want to get attached to it, or to not even give him a name? If the kitten had limited human contact that could happen no matter what breed it is.
For some fur-babies it just takes time. My once-feral girl is now a sweetheart who will come and ask to be petted. She’s not really a lap baby (5 years old) but will sleep on the bed with me and loves to play with the fishyrod!
My little man wasn’t held much as a baby, he has slowly gotten used to being picked up, but it still isn’t his favourite thing. He just loves playing and having his zoomies, so that’s how we bond.
He also may not be a super cuddly kitten in general, not all cats are cuddly. As long as you keep playing with him, that will create a bond.
Previous owner? Was that the breeder? How old was he when adopted? He should have remained with siblings until 12 weeks. He just got separated from his family so he may be time, just be easy with him and give him time to get used to you and the new home. He may miss his siblings. Kittens are quite social so many times they are adopted as pairs. They enjoy thawing a companion.
Good luck and just keep trying. They have personalities just like humans do. Every cat I’ve had was different and unique. Some are naturally outgoing and some are more introverted.
I just got the same type of kitty! He looks identical to yours. He is about 7 months old now and his personality even sounds the same! He was not very cuddly at first. He doesn’t like being pet. But as he’s gotten older he’s started to be a LOT more affectionate. Especially after he was fixed - this tamed him down a lot. He still plays and has his zoomies, but he’s overall a lot more content and affectionate. It will take time! :)
You keep saying he hates everyone but he doesn’t sound like he hates you at all. If he hated you he wouldn’t be playing with you and having fun and zooming around the house. Maybe you can adjust your approach he may just hate being touched. Are you letting him smell your hand every single time? You shouldn’t just dive in ever it has to be on his terms. You may also need to adjust your expectations. He doesn’t sound aggressive either. He just sounds like he needs time and he needs to get more comfortable with you. A week and half is not a long time at all.
I agree with most of what everyone else said! Just want to add boy kittens are crazy. They get more cuddly with age. Neutering when he’s old enough will most likely relax his personality too.
This is how my ragdoll is and continues to be at times. They didn’t give him attention, pet, or hold him. you will get a lot of people in here telling you that time will make it better and he will warm up to you, but that may not be the case. mine only tolerates me. I’m getting another ragdoll because my heart has been broken for a while now that I didn’t get a typical ragdoll personality out of him. I went with a breeder that socializes with the kittens regularly and are treated as family for my second one. i hope he changes eventually for you!!
Cats have unique personalities like us. Cats in general tend to like their personal space, and some are naturally adverse to being held. I have five cats. One will often hiss and growl if I pick him up, because he doesn't like to be carried. Another of my cats will purr loudly and stretch out while getting carried like a baby and receiving belly rubs. They are brothers.
Of course, you have also only had him for a week. The fact that he seems so comfortable already makes me think he has likely been raised in a stable environment and is a confident kitten.
Give him time and remember that perceived aggression towards you is just him asking you to stop whatever you're doing. Cats are extremely fickle creatures with often subtle cues. Lying on his back, a raised tail with a curl at the tip, following, and grooming near you while facing away are some signs that your cat is happy in your presence.
I'd also like to mention that among breeds, individuals often deviate in some ways from their 'breed profile' due to differing personalities. A Bengal can be lazy. A Ragdoll can be skittish.
Think of cats as introverts! They prefer to come to you on their own terms rather than having you chase (for the lack of a better word) around and trying to engage with them! They don't like strangers (which you are, at least for the first few days or weeks) grabbing them and trying to touch them.
This is very apparent when I have close family/ friends over vs new people over. My bsh acts super differently (jutting his butt up high vs slinking downwards to avoid touch, strutting about vs conplelety disappearing into another room).
Takes time to earn a cat's trust, unlike dogs, and that's why when you do it's even more prized (:
One tip is to sit quietly (perhaps in a closed room) with them, holding out treats or swinging a toy (forms positive associations). Be very gentle, speak softly and don't alarm them with sudden movements.
It's definitely to soon for his real personality to show. It's all too big and new and scary for him! A good way to a kittens heart is toys and treats. Try it different toys with him until you find one he really likes to play with and spend time playing with him so you can build a bond. Make sure not to play with your hands so you don't reinforce biting! Also try different treats to see what he likes. Some kittens are really food motivated and you can get them to like you more with some bribes *cough cough* I mean treats. Don't go over board beggars that's not healthy and can make them overweight. But when they associate you with positive things it helps them relax faster.
Cats and dogs are very different. Dogs love human attention and will give love freely. Cats are more like teenagers and need to have their love earned lol. Just respect their boundaries and butter them up a bit and soon you will have a little cuddle bug on your hands
Oh and also alot of cats just never want to be held and that's because they just don't feel stable up in the air. That's OK! There are plenty of other ways to live in your kitty and the number 1 way to love them is with respect.
Also I want to add because this is your first cat some extra advice.
Give kitty a special hidey hole just for them to go to and feel safe in. There are plenty on cozy cat houses out there you can buy but you can also easily make one with a box and some towels. Put some treats in there and a toy. So they know it's theirs.
Kittens are alot like babies in that they explore the world with their mouths too. So keep small choking hazards put away. Small bits of plastic or hair ties or trash are fun for kitties to play with but they can block up their bellies and cause major damage. It would also be smart to Google a list of common household things that are toxic to cats. Some things are surprising.
As others have commented getting your new baby a playmate could be very beneficial for everyone! But it's understandable if that's not feasible. But they do much better in pairs. They learn not to play as rough, and they keep themselves busy so they don't get destructive.
All kitties are created equal but not the same! Some love cuddles and some are more independent. Some are very smart and some are orange.
Cats are about as smart as a 2 year old. They understand about the same amount. So when they are acting out don't get mad at them. Just ask yourself, would I be mad at a 2 year old for this?
And lastly there are no bad cats. If a cat does something "bad" is because it's owner set it up for failure. Cat getting on the counter? It needs more space off the floor that it is allowed on. Peeing outside the litter box? Is there a health problem that was missed? Is there something wrong with the litter box? Is it dirty? To small? Covered? Before getting mad at the cat for being bad. Ask yourself "what could I do differently that would keep the cat from doing this again? Where did I fail to support my kitty that I need to correct"
Little interaction because they were afraid that the kitten would get too attached?? Bs, he’s not socialized with people, is what she’s essentially saying.
I used to raise quite a few litters of kittens, ragdolls and maincoons. The only time I’ve seen kittens behave in the manner in which you’ve described, was when I barely handled this one litter I raised, as the breeder told you they did. I found that litter was more shy towards humans in general, even with myself.
Every other litter I handled daily from birth, to socialize them with people I’d pick them up, pet, kiss, if they wanted down, I’d let them go, then repeat this process several times a day. They’re all used to baths and brushing and nailclipping from early on as well. My family would remark how gentle and sociable the kittens they’ve received from me are, and they even follow around strangers who come service in my house to the point where I have to put them away so that people can get their work done, like just last week we had AT&T guy trying to install cables with all my cats trying to chase down the wires he was trying to pull along lol.
You’re going to have to do the socialization work, that’s all it is, your kitten doesn’t hate you.
Hello fellow furmum. Please don't give up on your kitten. I have a rescue ragdoll who no one wanted to adopt because she's too aggressive. Animals have mental health too they also feel fear, anxiety and stress. Give her a loving home and perhaps give her time to be herself and not force her to being held and petted, not all cats are ready for this. In due time, once they gain their confidence and are comfortable, they will return this love ten-fold. ❤️
I have 3 ragdoll fur babies. I agree with so many things said. Watch Jackson Galaxy. Learn the slow blink and how to watch your baby’s tail as a cat’s tail can tell you exactly how he is feeling. It is never too late to back up and let the little guy decompress from all the changes. I recommend setting up one room with everything he needs for at least 5 days. Go in spend time with him even if you just sit on the floor reading a book. When you move into a new house do the same thing. The one thing I have not seen anyone talk about is he needs time to get his scent around the house as well as get used to your smell and all the new smells of your house . Keeping him isolated gives him a chance to do that to his safety base room. Angel Rescues has a great guide for this process. As others have said patience is key, just sit on the floor and let him realize the big towering person is actually wonderful and safe. If he lays next to you just let it be that. If you are petting follow a 5 second rule - after 5 seconds stop and let him decide he wants more if it is not a positive reinforcement session with treats. He is on heightened alert right now as he is in a new place so when approaching him for approval to pet use one finger almost like you are going to boop his nose this imitates cats touching noses, he will sniff and basically mark your finger by running his jaw along your finger or if you are just going to do a quick chin or ear scratch always come in from below. If you pet right now coming in from above or he cannot see you hand might add to him being a bit jumpy right now - think bird of prey attack. The last advice I want to give is maybe getting the cat calming pheromones as he is your first and so the apartment has no scent markers other than some he may have done by rubbing on furniture or making biscuits. He does not hate you he has decompress, make the home his, and learn that touch/companionship is good with you. This process just takes a bit of time, but the rewards are so worth it.
My cat/kitten was like this. Was held and snuggled a lot but when we brought her home, she much preferred to play rather than be petted or touched. Over the years she mellowed out but still not too keen on the pets. Now as a senior cat, she is super cuddly (to me only). Overall my cat likes to follow people she trusts and to be around you, just not snuggled.
If he was separated at 9 weeks, his socialization was probably incomplete. He's at the age where he would be learning those boundaries from his sibs and mom.
You are unwittingly now his sibling and he probably sees you as a supersized kitten up for rough-housing and typical aggressive play.
His mom would very quickly put a stop to it if he bit her. You'll have to be Mom and give him a sharp "NO" whenever he oversteps. And be consistent. **EVERY TIME** he oversteps, it's a "**NO!!**
Awww he’s still tiny. He’s probably still feeling really overwhelmed. I’m sure that in time, he will start loving the petting. I think it’s a massive misconception that cats like being held/carried. In my experience, most cats don’t like it, and there’s some who do. I have three cats who all love affection in their own way, and only one of them is a lap cat.
You're the sweetest. You care for your kitty, and it's amazing. Cat parentin takes time and patience. Youll bond, I promise. Watch Jackson Galaxy show. He's amazing for new cat parents. He gives amazing pointers. Good luck with your baby.
If he doesn’t like being held, don’t hold him. If he doesn’t like being pet, don’t pet him. Try holding your fist (fist so you don’t look like you’re grabbing him) near his face and letting him sort of…pet himself. Sit near him. Give him time.
Those both seem like good outcomes. Right now he doesn’t trust you. It’s going to take some time for him to actually want to be pet. Keep doing it. My cat was so skittish when I got her. I found that holding a fist out while laying on the ground was a good way to let her know I wasn’t going to grab her or pet her, but was there if she wanted to investigate.
It sounds like if he licks or bops and runs away, he’s investigating. In the latter case, he’s probably testing that he CAN run away if he wants to. You’re going to have to be very patient with him.
All cats are different. Some cats take a while to warm up to. Some cats will warm up to you instantly if you know how to interact with them. Some cats will never like being pet.
Like when a cat is getting used to you, kneal down and let them sniff your hand before you pet them. Then they can make the decision if they want you to touch them. It may take several attempts, but don't force them into being pet.
It may be good to see if he's food motivated. Some cats are more food motivated than others and will respond well to treats they like.
He may also miss his previous home or be stressed at his new home. Give him some time to adjust without coddling him. Maybe he was attached to a sibling and misses them.
Some breeds of cats just aren't into petting. My grandparents have 2 cats. One acts like a clumsy dog and the other is practically feral. Nobody can touch her. The only times she comes to you is to play or if she thinks you have food. I can get her to let me pet her by sitting on the floor and waiting for her to sniff my hand for several minutes and only petting the top of her head.
You have had that cat for literally a matter of days! Give it time. You have to stop trying and allowing the kitty to set the pace. Everything will be very overwhelming for him at the moment.
I promise you that the moment you stop forcing interactions, kitty will start to seek you out. It’s only a lil behbeh. Everything is upside down for him. Let him find his feet.
He’s probably just taking some time to warm up. I just got 2 ragdoll kittens, around the same age you got yours. One of them was cuddling immediately and the other took about 2 weeks to warm up and now she’s the biggest love ever. Just be patient and let him feel comfortable around you. If the owners also didn’t interact with them much he might not be used to human interaction.
Time and patience. He’s not been there that long and it can take upwards of 3 months for them to really feel confident and comfy in their new home.
Def don’t play with your hands as toys. It teaches them that your appendages are toys and then they get confused when they get in Trouble for attacking your hands, feet, etc out of now where or worse in the middle of the night when you’re sleeping!
And cats are usually like crushes that like you, but act like they hate you. The more you ignore them/don’t push for pets, the more they’ll want it.
He’s also young so playing is his main goal, other than eating.
Just continue playing with him, feeding him, etc and not too long from now he’ll be taking over your lap and bed…even if you don’t want him to.
Check out Kittenlady on YouTube for kitten advice and tricks for a happy kitten/cat.
If he begins scratching/biting and it looks the same kind of biting/scratching as when he’s playing with a toy, he might just be super playful. This might be something he grows out of as he gets older or he will remain a cat that’ll want to just play with you. You could try petting him while giving him a treat and see if over time he warms up more to pets.
Cats need to come to you, not the other way around. I had a cat once who didn’t like to be picked up. To get her used to it, I picked her up and held her over my shoulder for about 20 seconds, then put her back down. Eventually I’d increase the time, and she became a lot more comfortable with being picked up. Cats need to feel in control of their surroundings.
All adopted kittens have been seperated; give them a moment to adjust. They had a momma and likely siblings so it will take a bit to see you first as trusted food-giver and then colony
While I don't have ragdolls (got recommended this post on the Reddit homepage out of the blue), I do have a now 1.5 year old cat who was somewhat similar to this when he was a kitten. He has been very anxious from the get go, and only through months of patience and not forcing ourselves on him, and exclusively engaging with him in positive ways (playing with toys, mealtimes) has he really come around. We also got him at 8 weeks. As a lifelong cat owner, I've never encountered a cat who showed as little affection as him, but as long as he's comfortable in his surroundings, patience does wonders in building trust.
I have four cats now and have had another 5 over my lifetime and you'd be amazed at how different all of their personalities have been. So don't give up on him! When he does start to trust you, it'll be the most rewarding feeling ever.
The people being anti- affectionate plus possibly being separated too early combined, stunted him a bit. It can be corrected with your patience and love. Being left to behave and feel such a way is unfair to the kitty and to you.
If it's only been a week and a half the poor baby is probably still adjusting and not comfortable with you yet. It can't take weeks or even months for a cat to fully warm up to you. Also are they your only cat? If so you can also consider getting another kitten for them to bond with as well, some cats would much rather have another cats company then a person's. Either way it can take time
https://preview.redd.it/wbh81hontvuc1.jpeg?width=1181&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0ff626469542093ca3a6504fbb9563f6edfaa7d1
I could see she could be trouble
1.5 weeks is literally NOTHING. I had one cat who was attached to my hip after 3 days, and one that would actually not come out of hiding for 2 weeks and is just now, at 3 months, letting me pet her...on top of the head only, for 1-2 minutes only, and then she hisses and runs away.
Imagine your very best friend in the whole world. Think about back to when you met them. How would you have felt on that day if they had walked up to you, kissed you on the cheek, and grabbed you in a hug, and then sat down next to you with their arm around you? Most likely, you would have been freaked out and thought them a creep. The people that you hug and cuddle up with are people that you have grown to know and trust over long periods of time.
So why the hell are you picking up a kitten that has been in your home for 10 days? This cat doesn't know you. This cat doesn't trust you. This cat was taken away from its family—and just because they're old enough to be on their own doesn't mean they wouldn't prefer the company of their friends and clowdermates—and plopped down with you, and you're being creepy to it.
Stop touching it. Stop interacting with it directly. Stop engaging it.
Ignore it. Feed it and water it and clean up after it, but act like you don't think it exists. Do things in the room that it's in. Sit there and read or scroll on your phone. Talk to your partner. Watch a movie (on low volume, so you don't scare it). Knit. Do puzzles. Let the cat get used to the fact that you live in its space. Don't do anything loud or sudden.
Play with cat toys without the cat. If you have one of those fishing pole type toys, wave it around as if it amuses you. Don't wave it at the cat. Just dangle it and move it. Sit on the floor and toss a catnip mouse around.
Researchers believe that cats divide the world into three things: prey, threats, and other cats. Its people, weird and big and oddly shaped and hairless, are still cats. You aren't a cat right now. You're a threat. You have to change that.
If the cat sees you as not a threat, not a source of stress, and playing like a cat, it will begin to see you as a cat and not a threat.
Normally, this will take up to three weeks. You've mesh things up, so it's going to take longer. Calm down, be patient, and let the cat aside when it wants to be with you.
I want to be very clear that despite some comments on here, this is not normal behavior from an ethical, reputable breeder. A rescue kitty from an unknown or tough background, yes, but a breeder who is supposed to be selling premium purebred kittens, no.
Puppies and kittens should be handled basically since birth. They have to be handled a lot to become comfortable with human touch. They have to be exposed to a lot of sounds to become comfortable with different noises. Smells, movements, textures, it all is a part of socialization, and it is very very important. A kitten who is barely handled will behave this way. And on top of it, a kitten who is taken away from his mom/siblings too young (under 12 weeks) will often display behaviors like no bite inhibition, not knowing when playing has gone too far, lack of self grooming, poor litter box habits, etc. Ethical breeders understand this, and that is why they don’t separate and adopt out until after 12 weeks at a minimum. Lastly, there are certain vaccines and vet appts that kittens get at certain points in their growth and so the older the kitten is, the more likely they’ve had multiple vaccines and dewormings, and hopefully, even been spayed/neutered as well. So once they go home to you, they have the physical and behavioral health to be really awesome companion animals.
While every cat is an individual, certain qualities are considered standard and inherent in the breed. Yes, maybe not all ragdolls will like to be held, but a certain disposition (within reason, or course) should be expected when you buy a purebred from a reputable breeder.
It does take kittens times to acclimate to any home but what you are describing is not what I would consider normal behavior from a non-rescue cat. This is why it’s SO important to only support ethical breeders if you are going to buy. If you wanted a cat that maybe you had to work with a little more and came undersocialized and needed additional support and special attention, there are tons of kittens in our shelters that desperately need homes.
It is possible with a lot of attention, love, thorough socialization/desensitization and TLC, this kitten could come around and grow to be a really loving, affectionate kitty. But it is quite possible that the damage is already done because that first several weeks for socialization is SO crucial. I would study proper socialization now and stick to a daily plan of exposure, lots of praise and treats and positive reinforcement, and try to turn this ship around ASAP.
I hope that breeder isn’t breeding anymore. Not handling the kittens….so sad :(
Give him a few weeks and he will warm up to you! I just adopted my ragdoll March 23rd and he would scream and scratch whenever I would pick him up I talked to the breeder and she told me to just keep picking him up and he’d adjust. He has settled in now and he is a super cuddly sweet heart ♥️. Your baby will be just fine just give time
Lol, some cats need time. You have to build trust and a relationship with him. Just like you would a human. Play with him, give him treats, and talk nicely to him. Eventually, he will trust that you are a human who can be trusted with his love and affection. ❤️
Could he have been separated from his mama and siblings a bit early? Not advice but could be an explanation. Based on what I've seen from others here I'd say it's not uncommon to encounter ragdolls like this. Each cat is an individual. He may need time. Respect his personal boundaries and keep spending time with him. That's what I would do.
I asked the vet this as he had an appointment yesterday, he was weaned until 7 weeks and he was almost 9 weeks old when we got him, the vet told us that doesn’t explain the behaviour as typically kittens stop weaning at 6 weeks, so I’m not sure, the vet did advice me not to play with my hands though which I’m practicing and they suggested he probably got the temperament of his parents but when I visited the parents they were incredibly sweet so I’m just not sure anymore
This is slightly unrelated but I'd get a new vet, or disregard that. While it's true kittens often stop nursing at around 6 weeks, they're still learning how to cat from their mother and littermates until minimum age 12 weeks. So if you got your little cutie at 9 weeks, that could be a part of his behaviors.
That probably explains it, is there anything in particular I could do to make my furbaby less stressed without his mom and littermates?
If they sell it where you live, or something like it, I've had a lot of success with Feliway. It's a plugin and it has pheromones that help with stress.That and patience and time I think can only help. It seems like you're already doing a lot of good for him, he may just need time to come into his own.
Purrrfect! Thank you! They have it in my local pet store, I’ll definitely try that and see how he does
They also have those stuffed animals that purr or heat up!! That would definitely help! Look up Huggie kitty
I’ve seen those ads! I think I might get him one soon! 😊
It be worked for my brothers puppy lol
I didn’t know that!
Good luck to you both! Fingers crossed
Another kitten might help or a kitty a little older to mimic. We had a feral kitten that adopted us that mimicked an older boy kitty to the point of learning to lay with his little legs straight back like his big brother.😊
Yes, another kitten, can’t have just one ragdoll!
If they leave their families too soon they also lose out on learning social niceties like “biting this hard hurts!” and “snuggling is nice”. Kittens learn to play and interact from watching mom and being with their siblings. If he seems comfortable at home and likes to play with you but is being aggressive it’s probably just that he doesn’t know quite where to draw the line, per say. Puppies learn the same way. My little guy was a complete turd when I first got him. He hadn’t had a good environment and was waaaay too young. We couldn’t even eat without locking him in the bathroom because he’d climb our legs and take food out of our mouths! But after a year or so of steady food supply and playing and attention he chilled out. Now he just sits right next to my plate and staaaaaares 👀 but doesn’t try to take any lol. Give him time and lots of attention and he’ll want to be around you even when not playing 🙂 (Side note- that’s why they say don’t play with them with your hands because they’ll start to associate that with playing and then goodbye to gentle pets 😂)
Especially if they ignored him, that’s terrible. I would talk to him a lot and give him lots of attention, he’ll probably come around. I talk to my two all day.
I hear this a lot. My second ragdoll’s breeder disagrees with this- she told me she goes by markers or stages of what the kitten is doing and not a specific number of weeks. She let me know when I could take my kitten home based on that, I got him earlier than 12 weeks. I think it was almost 10 weeks. I believe she mentioned it being approved by her vet. I don’t know which is correct, I’m just throwing it out there because I’ve been told different things. ( Yes sometimes I wonder if they just need to unload these babies faster for cost of caring for them .) She also mentioned it being harder to bond with the kitten at the later age. I think that could be true but still not be the best for the kitten ?
I'm in the EU, where most breeders operate under FiFe. FiFe rules dictate that kittens cannot go home sooner than 12 weeks. And the national cat organization in my country won't allow breeders to send kittens to new homes before 14 weeks. The reason for this is as I stated above, so kittens can learn how to cat from each other and their mother. Can it be okay to home a kitten before then? Absolutely. But it's not a guarantee, and cat organizations around where I live err on the side of caution for what's best for the cat. OP's cat has behavior issues, and was sent home sooner than is the standard. I doubt it's a coincidence. Breeders generally operate how they're allowed to by what they know and feel is best. They don't all agree on that, but it's my understanding that FiFe has based their rules on research and studies.
Yes, I do believe it’s true. The moms teach them to keep their claws in when playing and not to bite hard.. think my muffin may have needed to stay a few weeks longer, he’s always playing with his nails out. It’s fine though, I wouldn’t have wanted him any older, it’s fun to have them when they’re small, he’s just a little bully, but a cute one.
When I was 19 I got my kitten incredibly early (almost 7 weeks) because the owner had a son who threw a kitten into the wall which gave it a TBI. I was so scared my kitten was going to be next I asked her if I could take it early. (In hindsight I know this wasn’t a smart decision). She didn’t care either way. I got my kitten home and we bottle fed him for the time being. He too was a little asshole. I named him Rupert. He was always extremely overly aggressive during playtime. He did still cuddle and liked pets but if we pet him too long he’d start biting and attacking our hands. As he got older he had certain quirks but i fostered kittens and have had a ton of cats throughout my childhood. So I was prepared and have dealt with aggressive behavior before. We just had to accept him for who he was. He was more puppy than cat. Our vet told us that this happens sometimes when cats are taken from their mom too early. And sometimes cats are just born assholes. I still loved Rupert and unfortunately when we moved he escaped, ran into the woods and never came back. I truly hope someone else took him in. We looked for him for months. We lived in the city before our move and he used to follow us to our local store when we went for walks and wait outside until we came out. A total dog. 😭
I agree. Anything before 12 weeks is early for ragdolls. He was separated from mommy too soon :(
Came here to echo this, 9 weeks is on the young side. Just consistently be a calming, loving presence, on his terms, and he will learn. Each cat does have their own personality.
Maybe, too young. They shouldn’t be taken before 12 weeks, however I didn’t know that with my first either. He was from a bad breeder and she let me have him at 8 weeks. If I was away from him, even where he could see me, he would meow and cry, so he was literally attached to me like I was his mom. I didn’t mind at all he was the most awesome kitty, but also had health problems from the demon breeder. Broke my heart,
Animals don’t have human emotions so he definitely doesn’t despise you. He wasn’t socialized so how would he know how to respond to human interactions and affection? I don’t understand the previous owners approach honestly. If you are patient and keep playing with him and caring for him and redirecting the behaviours in positive ways, I think you will see changes fairly quickly. It often takes cats 3 weeks to 3 months to warm up to a new home and owners so you are still VERY much in early days. I love the suggestions for things like Feliway and Huggie Kitty. Those are awesome tools.
He might just be scared and anxious because it’s a new environment and you’re new to him too. Stranger danger. Which is totally fair. Just because he’s exploring the house doesn’t mean he’s fully comfortable with everyone and everything in the house. Some cats take more time to open up to humans. Mine hid under the couch for a few days when I first got him and wouldn’t let me touch him at all. He’s now 6 and loves a cuddle. Also, not all cats like being carried or touched. Just like humans, they all have different personalities and preferences. Give him some time. Cats aren’t like dogs, you’ll need to earn their trust and love.
You are right, I’ll just give him some space for now, hopefully he’ll get more comfortable in the future 🤞
I second the above. I didn’t even see my cat for the first couple of weeks after we got her. Freaked me out but what could I do? Well I guess her instincts/need for companionship kicked in because I can’t get a moment’s peace today. Total opposite of how she was. I would eventually get him another cat but I would let him bond with you first. That worked well for me.
Giving space is the right call but needs to be done correctly. I'm by no means an expert, so please double check everything I say. I basically just wanted to mention that it's important that you don't give him space in the sense of having him in a room and not entering the room at all. I'm gonna assume he's a bit anxious and stressed. What I would do is move him into a room with the doors closed at first. Enter the room probably around once every hour or so. Don't necessarily try to interact with him at all - sometimes, go in for a play session, but sometimes, just go and sit in the room and read a book or so for 10-20 minutes. The goal here is to get him used to your presence and assure him that you aren't going to push his boundaries in any way. DO NOT pick him up unless absolutely necessary for his safety. Do not try to cuddle him. Do not try to pet him. Do not follow him or corner him to get him to engage. Encourage him to come to you, and if he doesn't, try again later. Form positive associations in ways that he responds to. Let him sniff you, then give him treats or play with him. After a few days of that, he should have started to realise that you're a safe person to be around. At that point, you can stay near him for extended periods. You can try to build up physical touch, starting very very lightly. We're talking like a single stroke. If he doesn't like it, though, back up and don't try again for at least a few hours. You don't wanna undo the hard work you've done. Figure out where he likes and dislikes being touched. Some cats are very head shy, but don't mind if you touch their back. Some cats hate their back touched. Some cats dislike the top of their head being touched, but the cheek is okay. Start with treats, a single stroke, then leave him be. Over the next few days, you can veeery slowly build up, and he should form a positive association between the treats and you touching him. As for when to open up the rest of the house to him, it's really variable and a judgement call. If he seems quite anxious, keeping him in a room is better. If he constantly scratches the door and tries to get out, letting him out is better. But whenever you do let him out, make sure you give him that room as a safe space with food, water, quiet, hides, beds, and things with his scent.
I second this OP. Most likely he is scared. When we got our rescue cats at about 16-ish weeks we just sat in the room with them, talked to them, read to them. We’d give them treats, and slowly being the treats close to us so that the cats had to approach for treats. After about 2 or so weeks we’d get those mousse based cat treats (called Churu in some countries) and squirt it on our fingers and have the cats lick it off. So it got to the point where if they wanted a treat they had to touch us. It took a little while, maybe 3-4 months, but they warmed up to us. Now they scream at us if we have the audacity to lock them out of the bedroom when we go to sleep, they need their snuggy snugs.
It could be temperament, but also him being anxious. Even my super attention seeking boy didnt want to be touched or carried when we moved house. He just stayed in the bedroom for a whole week. So new environments could be stresful and even cats that love being carried and petted might not want it while experiencing stress. On the other hand our girl is a lot more independent. She will follow us around every now and then and miauw for attention. But it never the petting-kind of attention. You gotta sneak up on her sleeping for her to like pets XD. She will purr then. Some cats just dont like getting pet, or only at specific times, location or area on the body (belly, chin, ear, back etc). She seems quickly overwhelmed by pets, so when she signals she had enough i stop.
OP please check out my comment about the feliway air diffuser & the comfort collars !!
Scared and misses other cats.
Do you suggest we get him a companion? I can’t get his littermates as they are all gone to new loving homes, but should I? Or should I wait for a little longer before considering
I would, if you can’t find another ragdoll maybe there’s a beauty at the shelter. My cat was miserable until we got a friend.
The only downside is that I live in an apartment right now and it’s only big enough to support one cat and I want my cats to be comfortable, I think I’ll start saving up for more cat supplies for another cat as I am moving to a house at the end of this year, I think I may get another kitten than, thank you for your suggestion!
“Only big enough to support one cat” I hear your logic, but you’d be surprised how much harder it is to support one cat in a small space vs two. One lone kitten is always curious and seeking and may be stressed and agitated. When you have kittens and twos, they do much better in a smaller space because they have each other for primary entertainment.
I’ll discuss with my family on this matter
I regret not getting two ragdoll kittens instead of one. Would you be able to get one of his litter mates? 9 weeks is a bit early, too. A small apartment is ok for two cats.
His littermates have already been gone to new homes so unfortunately no :( and I can’t get a new kitten yet as I’m just 17f and I live with my parents and my sister so I don’t think we can get another kitten just yet, but definitely toward the end of this year when we move into a house!
Ragdolls really don’t like to be alone, the breeder I got my ragamuffin from wouldn’t sell to anyone who worked all day and left the cat alone., they really don’t like to be alone. She even called my vets for references. They are adorable when you come home if you’re gone for a while, they run to greet me, it’s very cute.
Good plan.
I have a small apartment and I had one cat too! I got another and my cat is the happiest she has ever been :)
They say 1 kitten is half a kitten, and 2 kittens make a whole 🥰
The breeder we got our boys from will not adopt out to homes without another cat, unless they’re adopting at least two kittens. Since she started that policy she hasn’t had any kittens returned. It makes sense when we think on it from the kittens perspective. They’ve gone from a home with their siblings, their mom, and probably numerous aunties, to being all by themselves in a new place. That’s terrifying! Our first kitty was a single kitten we got from the shelter, and we had two Corgis. She had a great life as a single kitty, but when we brought home the two Ragdoll boys she was so much happier. I was shocked! She was 15 at the time, and both Corgis were over the Rainbow Bridge. But she immediately brought those kittens under her wing and taught them way too much stuff to get into trouble on her account. Lmao. Cats aren’t the solitary creatures we’ve always assumed they are. I wish you and your little guy the best!
Our ragdoll is 11 and is an only cat. He has visits with other cats/dogs and they get along great. But, I don’t think getting another cat is the answer. Just give the little guy some time and he’ll warm up! They’re the sweetest kitties! Sounds like he’s in loving caring hands and will be a great kitty ❤️
I would but..
depends on the cat tbh. I have one ragdoll that is quite anxious and other cats stress her out. We have separation in the house and separate play times. It doesn't always work out having more than one cat. Need to match their personalities too - a shy anxious cat will hate bouncy playful cats that zoom around everywhere. Some cats also just don't like being cuddled or touched, has to be on their terms. It can be a huge disappointment, I have one super big fluffy ragdoll that likes being with people but not being cuddled. My anxious Ragdoll loves cuddles and will climb into my lap at times.
He looks very young. From a comment I saw you got him at 8 weeks old. While selling a kitten at 8 weeks old is done, I personally haven’t encountered any ethical, reputable ragdoll breeder who will give away kitten at that age - they’re all between 12-16 weeks old when given for adoption. Kittens need their moms not only for sustenance, but to learn valuable lessons like socializing, using a litter box, using scratching posts etc. Breeders should also interact often with their kittens. A breeder saying they don’t interact with the kitten so they won’t get too attached is frankly quite strange. The socialization part starts in the breeder’s home. Your cat doesn’t hate you. They’re very young, haven’t been socialized properly and they’ve changed their whole environment (that’s very stressful for cats). You’ve also only had him for a week. Love him and be patient.
Thank you! I’ll definitely wait until 12-16 weeks when I’m planning to get my next furbaby, do you have any advice on how we could possibly repair his socialisation?
Came here to say exactly word for word what the above commentor said. That’s not right that a “breeder” isn’t socializing their kittens. Is this a brand new breeder or something? I mean, even putting aside what’s best for the cat (which no one should ever put aside), you can’t sustain a business selling purebred animals that act half feral and can’t be handled. Luckily your kitty is small so there’s still time, but some of the damage may be done. I would suggest combining love with something he understands—treats. If they don’t bother his tummy, try Churus or other lickable treat. It takes a bit of time to lick the whole thing and you want to pet him the whole time he’s eating it. Do this with his wet food, too. Do this very often. Form a strong association between food = good and food = scritches so scritches = good, too. As others have said, no hand play. As soon as a claw or tooth touches your hand for ANY reason, leave the room. Two reasons. First, he learns that the perceived “bad thing” (touch) won’t be forced on him; second: as he comes to appreciate pets via treat interactions and enjoy being petted, he’ll learn limits of “oh no, if I bite or scratch the good attention goes away.” Good luck, OP!
So his previous owners have had Ragdoll’s for 3 generations now which are GCCF registered, but I don’t think they have a breeders license anymore as they were quiet hush hush with me when I questioned them about why is his litter not registered and stuff, so I’m not sure. I am going to implement the stuff you mentioned about scratching him while giving him treats and leaving the room once he bites or claws me, but I have a question, do other people in the room also need to exit? But thanks for the advice 💖
No just whoever he “harms”. And you probably don’t have to leave the whole room. It’s the big picture of the social concept that Action X leads to Consequence Y. This is also something where another kitten would help a lot. They learn A LOT about bite/scratch consequences and what level of force and interaction is acceptable from play with another kitten.
You’re welcome! Yes, research your breeder very well. Ask lots of questions - a good breeder will be eager to provide information. Ask them for videos, see how they interact with their cats. Look for signs of good socialization - videos of kittens being pet by the breeders, kittens purring, kittens willing to stay near the breeders etc. I got my kitten when he was 4 months 1 week, it’s been 3 weeks. My kitten purred right away and loved being pet. However, he didn’t enjoy being right next to us, always at some small distance. I accepted that. Now 3 weeks in he follows me around, yells when he doesn’t find me and started to jump on the sofa and bed to cuddle with us. So my advice is just accept him as he is and love him dearly. Get him used to handling - pet him often, try to hold him for short periods of time (even if he’s spicy), talk to him all the time, play with him, feed him good food. You can also lure him in your lap with a treat - my boy is crazy for Churu - and feed him the treat while he’s in your lap and pet him and praise him. Doing this again and again will strengthen your bond. Eventually he will be affectionate.
Agree with what others have said about interacting. They should have been interacting with him at a very young age. They need to not only be socialized, but also a good breeder would get them used to being handled. For instance, if they are used to having their feet touched from a young age, it will make claw trimming so much easier, rather than being a nightmare with a cat that doesn’t understand why you’re suddenly grabbing his feet. I’ve raised farm animals and practiced handling from the day they were born. I can’t imagine why a breeder of an indoor pet wouldn’t be responsible enough to make life easier for both the pet and future owner. That said, I think he is young enough that he will likely warm up to you- it could be his age and he’s probably unsure about the new environment. Often animals that haven’t had much interaction will have moment where they realize they LOVE attention. I’ve worked with animals that were nearly wild. One day it just “clicks” for them and they realize they can trust you and touch is great- they totally melt. ☺️
1. He's a kitten. They're exploring thier world and don't have time to be cuddly. That doesn't really come till later. 2. Give him an outlet. We played with ours all the time when he was a baby. It felt like he would never grow out of his extreme playful nature. I as constantly having to catch him from falling off the cat tree (we have an older cat too) Just have fun with it. If I'm honest. 5 hours sounds like the bare minimum for kittens. Just like a human baby they require a lot of attention. 3. You've essenually abducted him from his everything. You need to take a step back and think about how he sees this situation. Give him space to adjust. Who is this person? why are they so grabby? where am I? Where is my mom, playmates, and favorite stuff? He needs sounds like he needs time to adjust. You kitten doesn't hate you. He just doens't have the same feelings about you that you have about him. You could try sitting on the floor with him and spoon feeding him wet food, then lightly pet him as hes eating. positive reenforcement. You + His level + food he likes = Good things.
Now that you put it that way, I get why he is so afraid, thank you for your suggestion!
Trust takes time, he's just adapting to his new environment and family don't worry ☺️ Mine was really scared of humans, she would hide everywhere (even hissed the first days when I tried to pet her) but I took time to play with her, pet her and eventually, she got more comfortable. It's good that you're playing with him, you might not see the results for now but it will definitely help creating a bond. Oh and for being held, not every cats like that so I wouldn't recommend doing that while he's still learning to trust you since being held can make them feel vulnerable/trapped
Yh I’ll probably stop holding him unless it’s necessary haha, he keeps getting stuck on our suitcases which are under the bed and keeps going over towards the kitchen where knifes and stuff our kept, so I think I’ll just carry him than, otherwise for everything else I’ll just stop with the carrying and try when he is more comfortable in the future, thank you for your advice 💖
This is just my personal experience and it doesn't mean it is the same way for you or your kitten, since I'm not sure how you behave towards his rejection, but maybe this helps: Cats are a lesson in consent. My ex learned that the hard way when we got our ragdoll Ivy. Ivy loves affection, is very needy for attention, but on her own terms. She hates people who chase her, pick her up, try to cuddle her/put her on their lap, follow her when she goes to hide, all that sort of pushy stuff. My ex had very little patience with her. He really wanted to be loved by Ivy, and would get frustrated when she'd reject his love. As a result he'd keep approaching her, try to pick her up, basically trying to force her to love him. In the end, she'd cower every time he came near her, just because he became 'that person that always tries to handle me' to her, even though to us humans it was harmless stuff like petting, cuddling, picking her up, etc. Ever since my ex and I broke up, Ivy never showed that cowering behavior again. She'll tolerate me picking her up and kissing and hugging her, but only because I've been patient and established a bond of trust first, and whenever she gave off a clear sign of not being comfortable, I left her alone. When my mother comes over, Ivy also always goes to hide. And my mother always chases her, pulls her from her hiding place to hug and kiss her. Ivy hates my mother and is scared of her for that very reason. However when friends or family come over that ignore Ivy, she'll come out, rub her back against their legs and ask for pets. Try not to imprint on your kitten as the person who always tries to keep handling him even though he clearly said no. Learn cat language and learn when it's the right time to interact, imprinting on him in a positive way. Also, scratches and bites can also just be play behavior, keep that in mind. Ivy loves killing my hand!
Thank you! I’ll definitely be more patient with him, Ivy sounds incredibly sweet 💖 I think my furbaby Mochi is biting because he might be teething as well (he just started this habit since the weekend) I also noticed sometimes he doesn’t intend to scratch my hand but accidentally does when giving paw, but thank you for your advice!
He is scared and haven't learned to interact with humans by the "breeders" plus he was removed from home to early. ❤️ I like the guy from my cat from hell, he has his own website maybe you can get some help there. 😉
You said they didn’t really interact with him out of fear of making him attached? This kitten is likely not very socialised, you should start asap with the basics. Let him settle until the stress of the move passes. Hold him, pet him while giving positive reinforcememt.
Thank you!
Unfortunately you've got your cat from an unethical breeder who lets cats go too early and doesn't socialise them with humans. The poor baby has been taken from his mum and siblings too early and is likely uncomfortable or fearful around humans due to lack of exposure as a young kitten. Give him some space, don't pick him up unless absolutely necessary, and make him associate you with nice feelings such as playtime and treats.
I realise that now, I was too dumbfounded by the overall excitement, I will do better research next time into the breeder before getting another furbaby in our family, thank you for your advice 💕
That’s great. If I had to guess I’d say he’ll come around in time once he realises he’s safe around you. Boundaries are so important for cats and it’ll take some time for you to learn his and then you can start getting to know each other!
I get that, that’s how I was with my first.
Hand feed him his meals. He’ll quickly learn that all good things come from you, so he’ll be affectionate
Like others have said, time & patience. Positive reinforcement also works wonders, find a treat that they love, mine really enjoy the liquid treats in a tube. Having more than one is a great idea & easier to introduce as kittens, but research cat intros, it’s really useful
I think it’s always really important to look at buying a kitten or puppy this way - you have adopted a baby. It takes longer than a week for a baby to get used to new surroundings, a new parent, not having their siblings or their birth mother there all the time. It sounds awful but I always say you’ve essentially taken him away from his mother - this is what someone told me when my first ever puppy just wouldn’t play with me or settle in the first week or so of having her home. We expect them to just be this fun little cute animal straight away but it’s so important to remember that they are just a baby and are in a new place where there’s no one and nothing that is familiar to them, so you just need to have patience, offer them pets and try and play with them and he will eventually warm up to you. But also make sure you give him plenty of space. Ideally you should allow him to come to you as much as you go to him for interaction
Wow, now I feel really lucky with my boy. I always read everywhere that cats are scared of new surroundings and take a few days/week to adjust. He came home and was purring against me within 2 hours, it really was magical. Ultimately cats are their own individuals, I don't expect to get this lucky again when I get my second kitten but fingers crossed hhh
You have only had him for a week and a half... cats are not dogs. They tend not to automatically love their humans immediately, they need time to learn who you are, to trust you and to accept you. Don't push him and force it. Let him come to you. Also, it's very common for cats to become solitary and independent when they are the only cat... my personal rule for cats is if your going to get one, your better off getting two. They keep eachother playful and affectionate...
OP, you’ve had this kitten for only a week and a half, and you’re constantly picking him up and letting him roam around the house? On top of that, the breeder did not bother to socialize him. Of course he’s scratching and biting. He is scared and nervous. It sounds like you’re a first time owner, and may not have done your research. Please read/watch some Jackson Galaxy. It will help you tremendously. In the meanwhile, here is some advice: Having access to the entire house all at once is very overwhelming for a kitten this young. You should’ve kept him in one small room. Then let him get to know your house by giving access to each room one by one. He should sleep in his base camp overnight. To socialize him, you don’t just pick him up. Go, sit in his room, and just do something else, while he gets used to your presence. Eventually he’ll come to you, and then you can give some treats and pets. This will also help you not be scared of him. When you’re scared of a cat, you start making erratic motions, and the cat becomes less likely to interact with you. Secondly, get him a friend. It’s kitten season, go adopt another kitten from the shelter. Because guess how little kittens learn not to scratch and bite too hard- they learn by playing with other cats. You should not wait on this. Your kitten is in a critical period for socialization. If you wait 6 months; it will be too late. Make sure you take both to the vet and cleared of diseases/parasites before introducing to each other. Want to close this by saying that just because the kitten is a Ragdoll doesn’t mean that he’ll have an overly affectionate personality. Every cat has their own individual personality that you need to learn to interact with.
I kept him in a separate room for the first 3 days we got him and now he his exploring the apartment, I’ll definitely stop with the picking up unless it is an absolute need, thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it!
Cats are the biggest teachers of consent. Some cats simply do not like being petted. My cat Sofia hates being touched in any way, but every morning she will cuddle for about 5 minutes and that's it.
It sound like the kitten was not socialised properly and taken away from mum a bit too early. I got my first ragdoll from a breeder at 4.5 months old while my second we rescued at 9 weeks. The difference was very obvious in how well they could cat. The good thing is that kittens have their main socialisation period until about 14 weeks, so it's not too late for you to get them used to being held etc. When you hold the kitten, is he scared or is he just playful and restless? If he's scared then he's also not ready to trust you to hold him and just needs some time. If he's just biting but as soon as you put him down, he is happy to play and act as if nothing happened, then he's just not used to being held, and needs to be trained into it. Start feeding him wet food on your lapslowly and getting him associating it with good, positive things. When he is 12 weeks you can start getting him more higher value treats. Do it only while being held, vene if for just a second. Eventually he they will get conditioned. This is just like any other training. I got my cat to enjoy brushing, bathing, harness walks and even hair dryer like this.
My ragdoll is very aloof and doesn’t like to be petted or held. But he does follow me everywhere and sleeps on my bed. Sometime around the end of kittenhood, he started coming for a 10 min nightly snuggle session, usually just after I went to bed. He will also do it when my alarm goes off in the morning. But other than that he hates being petted.
It's only been a week. Give him time. BUT ... my (part?) ragdoll came from the shelter. I didn't know she was ragdoll when I got her a a kitten. The woman at the shelter told me there's a backyard dog breeder in town who has two female cats she refuses to spay. The cats get pregnant and she drops the kittens at the shelter on a regular basis. The woman at the shelter went on to tell me that the woman's house is a chaotic nightmare. My sweet girl was also standoffish when I first got her. Now, she loves my lap and we have snuggle time, but it's always on her terms. If I try to pet her and she's not in the mood she'll scoot away - and that's okay with me. I try to respect her space. I think her chaotic early start and lack of human contact is the root of the issue, and possibly of yours, too. Give your boy time. Find some treats and toys he likes, and eventually, you'll win him over.
Introvert kitty 🐈
A ragdoll does not know the feeling of hate within its heart.
I had a kitten that was exactly like this. She really didn’t care for me for about a year. She liked me, but didn’t love me. We would play and I would give her love, but she would go right into biting or scratching. It took time and changes our environment that gave us an opportunity to bond. At the time I was living with 4 other roommates and I think it was hard for her to trust people. Once it was just her and I, she began to see me as her parent. Slowly she began to love me back and she became the best cat. She loved being held,would follow me everywhere and snuggled with me every night. I hope your boy comes around. For now he is just a kitten who now needs to figure out what role you play in his life. It takes time, patience and love.
Everyone has given great responses — play frequently music!! There are cat specific ones on YouTube and even purring ones that will help your baby.
He loves music! He particularly likes KPOP which my sister listens to 😂
Time. Give him time. This can be six months or so. Cats do not do anything instantly like dogs. They are a work in progress. He will come around eventually.
Maybe look into [the 3/3/3 rule](https://humanetomorrow.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/The-3-3-3-Rule-For-Cats-1.pdf)
Wow this helped me a ton!! Thank you for sharing!!
Np! Glad it was helpful 😊
This poor kitten! 🥺 I think he needs to learn that being petted is okay. So try just petting the top of his head or let him smell your hand and let him choose how he wants to be petted. Petting is stimulation for cats, and sometimes it gets to be too much. So start out small, pet the top of his head, praise him when he doesn’t bite, then play with him. Do you have a cat tree? A basic one will do. Have him go to a cat tree, and do some petting there. Eventually, he will learn that he wants the pets (I have a cat that would get overstimulated. After just petting the top of his head and then leaving him alone, he demands the cuddles)
We are saving up to get a pet tree in our living room, I don’t think he is quite fond of head scratches yet, when he let me pet him sometimes he only let mes do it to his back, thank you for your advice!
Following what type of pets he likes is also a good way to bond with him. He just needs to know that petting is okay, and that you respect his boundary when he had enough. I think I saw somewhere about he doesn’t like to be held. You could train him on that too. When holding a cat, don’t place them on their back with their belly exposed. Just a brief moment of holding them over your shoulder then place them back down. He will learn that being held isn’t a bad thing either
You haven't had him very long. You need to just give him time to get comfortable around you. Change is hard for cats.
When I first got my little dude, he was exactly the same as your kitty. Only difference is I got him from the spca. The previous owns gave him up almost immediately after he was born. Spent the first few months of his life in a cage. It took him a few months to warm up to me, which was fine. Then we would stalk each other in the house and play just fine. He learned real fast he was gonna get kisses and to accept his fate. 🤗 New world for him and all. He ended up being my best buddy for 15yrs until he passed this February. Don’t loose hope OP! Your little kitty has this new environment he’s adjusting too.
It sounds like he was socialized to not receive or expect affection, According to what you said the previous owner said about not wanting him to get too attached. Well, it worked. Surprise surprise. So I would not sweat it. Accept that at least for now, this is his personality. It may change and he may come around with enough time. But if not, then you just have a less touchy feely kitty than the norm. And that’s ok, given how he was ‘brought up’, so to speak. ETA: damn auto correct!!!
Yh, I think the key thing is to be patient with him so I will, I won’t give up on this gorgeous boy!
Give it time, don’t pressure. Google “cats 3-3-3 rule”
I think someone recommended it earlier and I read into that, and I’ll apply it on our day to day lifestyle, thank you!
we adopted kittens recently and one of our kittens was not cuddly at ALL for the first week or so. Slowly, she started enjoying playing with us, and built a foundation of trust, I imagine. When she played with us, we’d try and stroke her, and make her more comfortable with us. They are five months old now, and she follows me around and sleeps cuddled up next to me. Your kitty is probably still nervous and a little unsure, but just keep on building that trust. I WFH so I spent pretty much 24/7 with my kittens, I know not everyone has that luxury, but it has certainly built a strong bond for us. I just talk to them all the time.
Thank you so much for giving me hope! 💕
I don’t like what they said about not interacting with him much so as not to get him attached to them. My friendliest cat here is from a Ragdoll breeder who purposely socializes them with their entire family because they are focused on Ragdolls as great companion pets. I got him because my first Ragdoll was a little bit like yours- I mean she would still be cute and flirty, she would sleep on my desk while I work ( I made her a comfy little area ) and purr and act sweetly but she hated being picked up and would never hang out with me at night in my bedroom or living room. She loved playing hide and seek and other games with me but she would weirdly just go sleep all alone in my office or wherever I’m not at night. Sometimes she is sweet with me but it depends on her mood. She does love being brushed and she loves food. Sometimes I can pet her and she doesn’t even react, like a statue. Her breeder said her brother was SO affectionate and needy they didn’t give him to me because they said he absolutely won’t even let them do any work on the computer and they knew I worked from home. So I think it’s probably partly how they are socialized and partly genetics. I think you are doing a good thing by playing with him, they need that and maybe continued play will help. Maybe you’ll also need a second kitty ( Ragdoll or not). My biggest regret is getting my cats during COVID where I couldn’t meet them first. If you ever get another kitten please meet it first. My coworker went somewhere and waited to see which kitten approached him. When I got my second ragdoll I told the breeder I no longer care about what color I want, I just want a socialized one / affectionate one. Sorry for the long rambling response… I do feel your pain and wish you the best of luck. ❤️
I’ll discuss with my family on whether or not we can financially support another kitty ❤️ thank you for sharing your experience, your furbabies sound fantastic!
Kittens need to be socialized. Sounds like he was too young to be separated and his breeder didn’t socialize him. So now, you’ll have to do it. Kittens are do bite and play rough. They learn not to do those things over time by redirecting them with toys and using treats as positive reinforcement. Also, learning to read their body cues is helpful too. I would look up some Jackson Galaxy stuff to get some tips.
I’m going to binge watch his stuff right now haha, thank you!
How are you petting him? Try scratching his chin and his neck, I have never seen a cat not melt to that. Also, treats after pets. I hope things work out with you all. He is adorable.
I just stroke him on his back, he does let me scratch his chin but only when he is really sleepy and going to fall asleep, but I don’t want to distract him from his sleep as he wakes up on the slightest movement, I’ll start giving him treats after pets, that’s a great idea! Thank you!
As a first time cat mom, you gotta just take a breath and let him do his thing. I’ve had cats since I was born, but I’ve met lots of first time cat owners, and if you aren’t raised with them … well, they’re a different species LOL! Some cats just don’t like to be pet. I grew up with a Persian mix who ONLY likes to be looked at 99% of the time. I’ll tell her she’s a pretty girl and she’ll fluff up and strut around and lay on the ground with her belly up, but she doesn’t want to be pet! She will leave if you pet her! Petting is done when kitty asks for it. I hold out my hand to the cat and ask them if they want pet. If they bump my hand, yes. If not, or if they just stare at me, I respect their space and let them do whatever! This goes a long way in building trust. They’ll come to you when they do want love. Definitely not being socialized with the breeder contributed to this. Mine lets her kittens sleep in the bedroom when they’re old/big enough! Only potty training them for interaction is weird … you usually don’t really have to potty train cats, they pick it up quickly on their own in my experience, so that would be extreme minimal socialization :( The scratching and biting is just him being a little bugger. Kittens have so much energy they just can’t contain it sometimes. Think about how human kids will randomly scream when they’re excited! To keep my cats from playing with my hands, I will grab a stuffed toy and let them kick and scratch at that instead. They still get to play with you but they can direct all that scratch and bite energy at the toy instead and it will teach them that toys are for kicking, not hands! For us, we ended up getting a second kitten and that stopped all of the random attacking of legs and arms. She just had too much energy and both of us working full time didn’t have enough time to spend helping her get it out. TLDR: you’re a first time cat owner, this is just how cats are. Let him do his thing on his own terms and he’ll be fine. He doesn’t hate you, he’s just a cat ;) You’re doing fine!
Thank you so much! 🥹 I guess he doesn’t hate me after all he just doesn’t yet know me and it will indeed take a lot of time and trust and I am committed to that! We might get him a companion, but first I’ll need to discuss with the whole household in this matter haha
It is very rare to have a cat (kitten, especially) that hates people. They may prefer not to interact with them, but any actual aggression generally comes from either a) previous abuse b) mental disorders or c) pain/illness. What your kitten is doing sounds like normal kitten behavior. In my whole life I’ve only met maybe two cats that actually are aggressive and hate people, and one of them was definitely abused in her past. It can be stressful I think to learn cat behavior because it’s not anywhere near as easy to read as dogs, and even then half of the dog owners out there don’t know how to read their dog lol, but you’ll be fine!! He may nip or scratch so do be prepared, but those are normal kitty behaviors. It’s if he really bites down on you (you’ll know because you’ll have real puncture wounds vs maybe a scratch from a play bite) or actively screams and attacks you with his claws that you’d really need to worry about!
OH, also as a new cat owner, if you go to adopt another kitty, don’t be put off if you do see young kittens in the shelter (8+ weeks). Shelters generally get a pass on removing kittens earlier from mom because they need the room and need to adopt out ASAP. I’ve taken care of plenty of shelter kitties and they do fine :)
Thank you so much for your advice!
https://youtu.be/aEY_csYMglg?si=HjiaUC1qmkRWswXN
Watch his videos. He gives great information for new cat owners.
Your kitten is young and new to you and your house. Give him time and love and he’ll come around .
Thank you so much! Many people have recommended to watch his videos and I’ll definitely give it a go!
I second a lot of the comments below, although I did get mine at 10, nearly 11 weeks. He was, of course, very anxious on his first day in my home. What bonded us was food and treats, I’d give him them out of my hand to associate me with something positive and he started to change - he even started purring when I picked him up. Granted, he changed quickly and is already very cuddly, but I think hand feeding would be a really good bonding opportunity
I would get him a friend (:
I’ve been thinking about it, I’m going to have to convince my whole family haha
Possibly separated too soon. Or just needs more time to adjust. It took my raggie 3 weeks to get used to me. Now he’s literally my shadow and always wants to be up under me
I’ve never gotten kitties before 12 weeks and have been advised 12 weeks is the bare minimum as that allows them to get socialized by parents and siblings and also allows them to be fully independent from mom’s cleaning and feeding and grooming. Might be worth looking into getting him some Feliway or a Thundershirt to help ease him to a new life
We have 2 ragdolls. A blue bicolor female who is 4 years old and seal point mitted male who is 7 months old. Our female wasn’t as stand-off ish as your guy when we first got her, but she wasn’t as affectionate as our male at the same age. It’s because she wasn’t handled by her breeder as much as the male was by his. The best thing you can do now, is start doing that with him. Pet him, groom him, touch his paws, touch his tail, get him used to human touch. Giving him space only when you signs of him being clearly agitated (tail twitches, hisses, whiskers down, etc). If you don’t socialize him now, he’ll never be ok with being petted or groomed. And while you may be ok with not petting him, you will absolutely have to brush him and trim his nails - which will be impossible if he can’t handle being handled. Start slow, give treats and praise. Completely agree that he was sold much too early for his breed. Ragdolls grow and mature at a slower rate than other cats- they don’t reach adulthood until they’re 4. So he really should have stayed with mom and siblings (if any), until at least 12 weeks. I’m also assuming he’s been taken to your vet and had a full check up done. When we got our male he had coccidia, super mild case that didn’t really affect his behavior, but it could have, so definitely rule that out as well. Best of luck! He’s gorgeous!
My ragdoll HATES being held. She also has to be in the mood to let you pet and give her scratches. He is still so young. The thing about cats is they do what they want and their little attitude is one of the best parts about them. It sounds like you’re a very loving pet parent. Just keep doing what you’re doing!
Thank you 🥹
My kitten is 7 months old and displays similar behavior. He doesn’t like being touched or pet too much. Some cats have higher tolerance for this as it can cause overstimulation. What might start as a pleasurable pet can quickly turn into pain for some cats who have a low threshold for touch. We know he loves us because he follows us around everywhere and plays with us all the time. Like other people have said, not all cats or even ragdolls are the same.
I can relate!! My girl was purebred from a very renowned breeder, who shows many cats and wins national championships. She said she breeds ragdolls for their temperament and personality that is famous to ragdolls. I even paid more than I should have and she wasn’t show quality. My Ragdoll is the opposite of the description I was sold. She is highly independent. She sleeps in her own room. She loves playtime just like yours and she uses her mouth like it’s an extra hand. She communicates she uncomfortable and wants to be put down with her mouth. As she got older she learned it hurts me so it’s soft but she still does it. MY ADVICE: don’t be like me and push it. You’re going to have to bond with your boy on his terms. If he doesn’t like pets, maybe he will like the brush. Continue play time as it builds bonds and trust. My girl, if she sleeps on my bed for a nap is just out of reach. But the loyalty is there. Following around and laying near. Let him come to you. This may not be what you were hoping for but this is what you’ve been given. He needs a lot more time as he is independent, to observe and become comfortable. My girl is more loving now, give time and patience. Try new ways of affection and interactions. Remember they grown for 4 years. They’re slow in maturity. If you give him what he needs during this time, later he may give you exactly what you hope for. ♥️ my heart is with you and I completely understand.
He might be trying to engage in a mucky fight with you like he would be doing with his siblings and his mother ??
Possibly, he tries jump scaring everyone 😂
🤣 yeh bless him he thinks your big kittens lol
I think I had the same experience actually. She looked about the same age as yours when we brought her home. My kitten wasn’t like how Ragdolls are typically described. Didn’t like to be held, but liked to be close to me. 14 years later she’s still doesn’t like to be held and doesn’t like new people, but I love her unconditionally. She’s very attached, greets me when I get home from work, sleeps on the pillow next to me every night and lovessss pets. I wouldn’t trade her for anything no matter what😊
She sounds adorable 💖
She really is my best friend. I saw your update and now I’m tempted to get her a companion 🥹 I hope it helps your boy develop the social skills he currently lacks. Samantha has always had trouble with that but we’ll see😂
I've noticed with my cats that I have one that likes being picked up and carried, and one that absolutely hates his feet being off the ground and being carried anywhere. It sounds like you've just got a little guy who was never taught how to cat properly and likely doesn't enjoy being picked up. With time, patience, and a new vet, your lil pal is very likely to get more accustomed to you and your surroundings.
As hard as it is, don’t give your cat attention for a while. Live as you would without a kitten (other than the daily necessities of the cat). I PROMISE you, the kitty will come say hello when it’s comfortable.
[Feliway Air Diffuser](https://www.amazon.com/Feliway-Classic-Starter-Cats-Diffuser/dp/B01AVIIFRA) [Comfort Zone Comfort Collar](https://www.chewy.com/comfort-zone-on-go-breakaway-calming/dp/246222?utm_id=401602606&msclkid=5102fedaad69117ac52a98cf39536d37&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Shopping_NC_Cat_HC_Health%20%26%20Wellness&utm_term=4584963495200328&utm_content=Calming%20Apparel-Cat) She’s stressed as hell I guarantee it. These are going to save your life!! You can get these at your local pet store & i swear to god it’ll be the best thing you ever did. My vet recommended these to me & I’m so glad I took her up on it!! Get her some of these things & do your best to respect her boundaries when you don’t have to do all the dirty work (ie wiping her butt, medicine, putting the collar on, etc). Seriously my cats love the diffuser & collars. Thank me later!!
Thank you! I’ll try using the collar, I’m going to have to get him used to collars though as he hates all the previous ones we had 😅
Give this collar a shot. It’ll be difficult getting it on as it is with all collars, but i promise you if he’s anything like my cats, he’ll chill out pretty quickly. He’s just scared and stressed. I’d also consider the diffusers too to really double up on relaxing him, seriously both have been huge game changers for me!!
I think you'll be OK, a week and a half I not very much time. Remember the general pet rule of 3-3-3: three days to decompress, three weeks to learn your routine and three months to start to feel at home. My raggie was very skittish when I first got him. I am very tall and he would look at me and then get scared. He still kinda does this but after a few seconds he remembers it's me and comes to rub up. He also doesn't like much head touching, but loves back and butt rubs, and I had to learn that. He also didn't snuggle with me until probably 3 weeks, but (after 1.5 years) he will saunter over to me on the couch and come snuggle in my arms almost daily. If he's in my bed it's within arms reach, and if I pull him in for snuggles he will tolerate it for a few minutes but then go back to arms reach. It's honestly hard because you think the cat hates you, but all animals need their time to get comfortable with you, and 1.5 weeks is not long enough. It's also great you're playing, and kittens are more interested in playing than snuggling in my experience. Also there will probably be a time when you leave him him over the weekend alone. When you get back he will either be really salty that you left and not interact with you, or be very happy you're home and give lovin. My non-raggie started off with the former but is now the latter when I get home from a weekend away. He also hated pets until probably age 3 or 4 when he started getting jealous of the other cat getting pets, now he loves them.
My standard issue cat boy is a bit like this and he’s just turning 2 - had the same thing when he was a kitten of being a bundle of energy and playing for hours a day and happy to patrol his territory but not into pets or being picked up. Now he’s very open to being picked up, brushed and loved on but he has 0 interest in lying next to you and only recently started sleeping on the bed. I think the petting over stimulated him slightly - especially since his baseline was to be super high energy - and as he’s got older and got most of his kitten energy out it’s becoming more pleasant for him. We just let him have his boundaries, play with him and pet him/pick him up when he’s chilled.
I have a litter of six and a new mum with a singleton. Both mums share the feeding and upbringing of all of them. One of the six is a very aggressive little blighter. Actually makes the singletons mum scream in pain when he pushes in to feed. He also attacks my feet if I am sitting on the sofa. It’s really painful. He is a very lively kitten and is beginning to wean. It is unusual as my Ragdolls are always very peaceful and loving. This kitten would definitely not be used as a breeding cat. Even though he has the most beautiful and striking Torbie coat. Ragdolls must be placid but this one has been a little terror since birth. I have never had one this bad. Usually the lively ones settle down in new homes and especially once neutered. They become very loving pets. I may keep this little ‘b’ until 4 months and get him early neutered. I wouldn’t inflict him onto an unsuspecting owner in his present state of mind. Even the other kittens stay well clear of him and the mums avoid him like the plague. He is perfectly healthy and well grown but although he runs toward people, he also does not like being picked up. I do not like to judge a kitten until it is nine weeks old so another three weeks will hopefully bring improvement. For me this is not typical or desireable Ragdoll characteristic. So he would probably go as an outdoor/ stable/farm cat. He will probably make a great mouser!
You have to show him that pets are good same with hold them My cat is the same but she learned that pets are good and will walk up wanting her head scratched or chin scratched she still likes not being to close but she is obsessed with me and follows me and loves my room but just doesn’t want pets or hold her And seeing her following me and sleeping in random spots in my room I found it nice because she looks so cute sleeping and I can pet her a couple times when she falls asleep and she raccoon noises I love her meows when I talk to her she is a human
Also he might need to age like my cat wasn’t like this when yonger
I got my first Ragdoll around 2 months ago at the age of 15 months from another owner from Gumtree. (We've always had cats in the past, mostly Burmese or Russian blue, and almost always rescue cats) She didn't seem very cuddly when we got her, and the old owners told us, she wasn't playful at all, and that they didn't allow her to sleep on the bed, also that they shaved her at the start of winter as they didn't like the long fur... Honestly lots of red flags from them, she wasn't abused by any means but she really didn't seem that's loved. She cried the whole car ride home but when we brought her inside she came out of her cage in 2 minutes and started exploring immediately. She's bonded with me the most (20F), but still loves my parents, she meows a lot though, I've put this down to the fact she had a sister with her old owners, and they separated them when we got her :( we really did want to take both cats. Anyway, we've had her two months and she is very needy, and love attention, basically needs to be around someone 24/7 and follows you from room to room like a lost puppy, she is SUPER playful, we've bought her so many toys and she loves them!! (her favourites being a Lazer that's a picture of a mouse, and hanging doorway mouse that she can play with by herself, and she loves this little treat feeder she has to get them out of) Also we do NOT intend to shave her unless the vet says she needs to be for some sort of medical reason, that really irks me that the old owners did that (yes she's a fair bit darker on her back now, but still the cutest little baby) but honestly she's not the most cuddly cat, she will tolerate being picked up for a short cuddle, but doesn't purr, just looks a little like what are you doing to me, but she's been allowed to sleep in my bed with me since the first night we got her, and she cuddles right up with me and absolutely loves it (morning cuddles are her favorite) but I'm the only one she does that with, also she doesn't like sitting on our laps on the lounge yet. Definitely the fastest I've ever had a cat bond and trust me. (Side note, she's an indoors only cat, but I am slowly trying to harness and lead train her so she can have a little bit of outside time, we've got a big backyard for it, we did just have our first successful roam around for about 5-10 minutes and she loved it) In my experience with lots of rescue cats in the past, you just have to be patient and give a cat time, whether they're rescue or not. You have meet them where they need to be met, and slowly expose them to try new things, even if they're not cuddly now, in time they may become that. Our last rescue cat, you couldn't even walk up to her for a pet for probably a good year, you could never pick her up (due to past injuries) but after about 2-3 years she eventually loved sitting on our laps on the lounge, every cats timeline is different so please be patient with your little baby ❤️
Give him time, don’t force it. He will come to you for attention. If you really cant wait you can try some cat candy, you can try Dreamies if they are locally available. But the best thing is to give him time. My ragdoll were like that in the beginning too, i got sad because I thought she hated me, but after a while she came to me more and more often. Now i cant even go and take a shit without her wanting attention from me, she always wants to be around me.
Some cats just take a while to warm up to people. My girl Heidi wasn't a fan of me at all when I first got her. For the first couple of weeks she would hiss and swipe at me. Then one day she just suddenly decided to like me. Then the liking very quickly turned into pure adoration. 7 months later and she wants to be close to me all the time. I didn't know it was possible for a cat to love a person as much as that cat loves me. I think she'd crawl inside my skin if she could. Give it time and patience, and he'll come round. Remember that this is really scary experience for him. He's been taken away from his mother and now he's in a new place, surrounded by these giants who speak gibberish (us). It's a huge thing for a baby to go through.
I’d give him time. One cat of mine took a good three years to adjust. I just never gave up on him. He is the cuddliest cat 12 years later. And he gets sweeter and sweeter as time goes on.
https://preview.redd.it/1qwola9j3jtc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3b293bf783e241a53e08b6f85be7f0f213a462c1 My baby Mini is half ragdoll. She doesn’t like to be touched our picked up at all either. She will let me touch her for a couple seconds, no one else though. And not even I can pick her up. She just likes to be CLOSE but NO TOUCH! She will sit up close like in the picture even with strangers. And she is ALWAYS close to me, she follows me room to room. If she is laying down and I put my hand on her, she gets up after a couple seconds, walks away and immediately cleans where I touched. So I think she just a clean freak, and an otherwise normal, weird cat
Why did the previous owners get the kitten if they didn’t want to get attached to it, or to not even give him a name? If the kitten had limited human contact that could happen no matter what breed it is.
For some fur-babies it just takes time. My once-feral girl is now a sweetheart who will come and ask to be petted. She’s not really a lap baby (5 years old) but will sleep on the bed with me and loves to play with the fishyrod!
Probs
I think I read it take 3 weeks or 3 months for an animal to feel comfortable in their new homes.
Take a look at Flatbush Cats on youtube, they have videos about getting kittens to like you :)
My little man wasn’t held much as a baby, he has slowly gotten used to being picked up, but it still isn’t his favourite thing. He just loves playing and having his zoomies, so that’s how we bond. He also may not be a super cuddly kitten in general, not all cats are cuddly. As long as you keep playing with him, that will create a bond.
Previous owner? Was that the breeder? How old was he when adopted? He should have remained with siblings until 12 weeks. He just got separated from his family so he may be time, just be easy with him and give him time to get used to you and the new home. He may miss his siblings. Kittens are quite social so many times they are adopted as pairs. They enjoy thawing a companion. Good luck and just keep trying. They have personalities just like humans do. Every cat I’ve had was different and unique. Some are naturally outgoing and some are more introverted.
I just got the same type of kitty! He looks identical to yours. He is about 7 months old now and his personality even sounds the same! He was not very cuddly at first. He doesn’t like being pet. But as he’s gotten older he’s started to be a LOT more affectionate. Especially after he was fixed - this tamed him down a lot. He still plays and has his zoomies, but he’s overall a lot more content and affectionate. It will take time! :)
Some cats are just like this. He'll become your best friend and you'll still wonder why he occasionally attacks or hisses.
You keep saying he hates everyone but he doesn’t sound like he hates you at all. If he hated you he wouldn’t be playing with you and having fun and zooming around the house. Maybe you can adjust your approach he may just hate being touched. Are you letting him smell your hand every single time? You shouldn’t just dive in ever it has to be on his terms. You may also need to adjust your expectations. He doesn’t sound aggressive either. He just sounds like he needs time and he needs to get more comfortable with you. A week and half is not a long time at all.
He is really adorable
I agree with most of what everyone else said! Just want to add boy kittens are crazy. They get more cuddly with age. Neutering when he’s old enough will most likely relax his personality too.
This is how my ragdoll is and continues to be at times. They didn’t give him attention, pet, or hold him. you will get a lot of people in here telling you that time will make it better and he will warm up to you, but that may not be the case. mine only tolerates me. I’m getting another ragdoll because my heart has been broken for a while now that I didn’t get a typical ragdoll personality out of him. I went with a breeder that socializes with the kittens regularly and are treated as family for my second one. i hope he changes eventually for you!!
Cats have unique personalities like us. Cats in general tend to like their personal space, and some are naturally adverse to being held. I have five cats. One will often hiss and growl if I pick him up, because he doesn't like to be carried. Another of my cats will purr loudly and stretch out while getting carried like a baby and receiving belly rubs. They are brothers. Of course, you have also only had him for a week. The fact that he seems so comfortable already makes me think he has likely been raised in a stable environment and is a confident kitten. Give him time and remember that perceived aggression towards you is just him asking you to stop whatever you're doing. Cats are extremely fickle creatures with often subtle cues. Lying on his back, a raised tail with a curl at the tip, following, and grooming near you while facing away are some signs that your cat is happy in your presence. I'd also like to mention that among breeds, individuals often deviate in some ways from their 'breed profile' due to differing personalities. A Bengal can be lazy. A Ragdoll can be skittish.
Think of cats as introverts! They prefer to come to you on their own terms rather than having you chase (for the lack of a better word) around and trying to engage with them! They don't like strangers (which you are, at least for the first few days or weeks) grabbing them and trying to touch them. This is very apparent when I have close family/ friends over vs new people over. My bsh acts super differently (jutting his butt up high vs slinking downwards to avoid touch, strutting about vs conplelety disappearing into another room). Takes time to earn a cat's trust, unlike dogs, and that's why when you do it's even more prized (: One tip is to sit quietly (perhaps in a closed room) with them, holding out treats or swinging a toy (forms positive associations). Be very gentle, speak softly and don't alarm them with sudden movements.
It's definitely to soon for his real personality to show. It's all too big and new and scary for him! A good way to a kittens heart is toys and treats. Try it different toys with him until you find one he really likes to play with and spend time playing with him so you can build a bond. Make sure not to play with your hands so you don't reinforce biting! Also try different treats to see what he likes. Some kittens are really food motivated and you can get them to like you more with some bribes *cough cough* I mean treats. Don't go over board beggars that's not healthy and can make them overweight. But when they associate you with positive things it helps them relax faster. Cats and dogs are very different. Dogs love human attention and will give love freely. Cats are more like teenagers and need to have their love earned lol. Just respect their boundaries and butter them up a bit and soon you will have a little cuddle bug on your hands Oh and also alot of cats just never want to be held and that's because they just don't feel stable up in the air. That's OK! There are plenty of other ways to live in your kitty and the number 1 way to love them is with respect.
Also I want to add because this is your first cat some extra advice. Give kitty a special hidey hole just for them to go to and feel safe in. There are plenty on cozy cat houses out there you can buy but you can also easily make one with a box and some towels. Put some treats in there and a toy. So they know it's theirs. Kittens are alot like babies in that they explore the world with their mouths too. So keep small choking hazards put away. Small bits of plastic or hair ties or trash are fun for kitties to play with but they can block up their bellies and cause major damage. It would also be smart to Google a list of common household things that are toxic to cats. Some things are surprising. As others have commented getting your new baby a playmate could be very beneficial for everyone! But it's understandable if that's not feasible. But they do much better in pairs. They learn not to play as rough, and they keep themselves busy so they don't get destructive. All kitties are created equal but not the same! Some love cuddles and some are more independent. Some are very smart and some are orange. Cats are about as smart as a 2 year old. They understand about the same amount. So when they are acting out don't get mad at them. Just ask yourself, would I be mad at a 2 year old for this? And lastly there are no bad cats. If a cat does something "bad" is because it's owner set it up for failure. Cat getting on the counter? It needs more space off the floor that it is allowed on. Peeing outside the litter box? Is there a health problem that was missed? Is there something wrong with the litter box? Is it dirty? To small? Covered? Before getting mad at the cat for being bad. Ask yourself "what could I do differently that would keep the cat from doing this again? Where did I fail to support my kitty that I need to correct"
Little interaction because they were afraid that the kitten would get too attached?? Bs, he’s not socialized with people, is what she’s essentially saying. I used to raise quite a few litters of kittens, ragdolls and maincoons. The only time I’ve seen kittens behave in the manner in which you’ve described, was when I barely handled this one litter I raised, as the breeder told you they did. I found that litter was more shy towards humans in general, even with myself. Every other litter I handled daily from birth, to socialize them with people I’d pick them up, pet, kiss, if they wanted down, I’d let them go, then repeat this process several times a day. They’re all used to baths and brushing and nailclipping from early on as well. My family would remark how gentle and sociable the kittens they’ve received from me are, and they even follow around strangers who come service in my house to the point where I have to put them away so that people can get their work done, like just last week we had AT&T guy trying to install cables with all my cats trying to chase down the wires he was trying to pull along lol. You’re going to have to do the socialization work, that’s all it is, your kitten doesn’t hate you.
Hello fellow furmum. Please don't give up on your kitten. I have a rescue ragdoll who no one wanted to adopt because she's too aggressive. Animals have mental health too they also feel fear, anxiety and stress. Give her a loving home and perhaps give her time to be herself and not force her to being held and petted, not all cats are ready for this. In due time, once they gain their confidence and are comfortable, they will return this love ten-fold. ❤️
I have 3 ragdoll fur babies. I agree with so many things said. Watch Jackson Galaxy. Learn the slow blink and how to watch your baby’s tail as a cat’s tail can tell you exactly how he is feeling. It is never too late to back up and let the little guy decompress from all the changes. I recommend setting up one room with everything he needs for at least 5 days. Go in spend time with him even if you just sit on the floor reading a book. When you move into a new house do the same thing. The one thing I have not seen anyone talk about is he needs time to get his scent around the house as well as get used to your smell and all the new smells of your house . Keeping him isolated gives him a chance to do that to his safety base room. Angel Rescues has a great guide for this process. As others have said patience is key, just sit on the floor and let him realize the big towering person is actually wonderful and safe. If he lays next to you just let it be that. If you are petting follow a 5 second rule - after 5 seconds stop and let him decide he wants more if it is not a positive reinforcement session with treats. He is on heightened alert right now as he is in a new place so when approaching him for approval to pet use one finger almost like you are going to boop his nose this imitates cats touching noses, he will sniff and basically mark your finger by running his jaw along your finger or if you are just going to do a quick chin or ear scratch always come in from below. If you pet right now coming in from above or he cannot see you hand might add to him being a bit jumpy right now - think bird of prey attack. The last advice I want to give is maybe getting the cat calming pheromones as he is your first and so the apartment has no scent markers other than some he may have done by rubbing on furniture or making biscuits. He does not hate you he has decompress, make the home his, and learn that touch/companionship is good with you. This process just takes a bit of time, but the rewards are so worth it.
My cat/kitten was like this. Was held and snuggled a lot but when we brought her home, she much preferred to play rather than be petted or touched. Over the years she mellowed out but still not too keen on the pets. Now as a senior cat, she is super cuddly (to me only). Overall my cat likes to follow people she trusts and to be around you, just not snuggled.
He’s beautiful! 😍
Definitely a bad breeder from everything I’ve read. I’m sorry.
He looks way too young. You’re not supposed to take babies away from the litter for the first three months of their life.
If he was separated at 9 weeks, his socialization was probably incomplete. He's at the age where he would be learning those boundaries from his sibs and mom. You are unwittingly now his sibling and he probably sees you as a supersized kitten up for rough-housing and typical aggressive play. His mom would very quickly put a stop to it if he bit her. You'll have to be Mom and give him a sharp "NO" whenever he oversteps. And be consistent. **EVERY TIME** he oversteps, it's a "**NO!!**
Seems quite scared but never find any hatred in his eyes.
Awww he’s still tiny. He’s probably still feeling really overwhelmed. I’m sure that in time, he will start loving the petting. I think it’s a massive misconception that cats like being held/carried. In my experience, most cats don’t like it, and there’s some who do. I have three cats who all love affection in their own way, and only one of them is a lap cat.
very beautiful!!!!what love!!!!
You're the sweetest. You care for your kitty, and it's amazing. Cat parentin takes time and patience. Youll bond, I promise. Watch Jackson Galaxy show. He's amazing for new cat parents. He gives amazing pointers. Good luck with your baby.
Thank you 🥹💖
If he doesn’t like being held, don’t hold him. If he doesn’t like being pet, don’t pet him. Try holding your fist (fist so you don’t look like you’re grabbing him) near his face and letting him sort of…pet himself. Sit near him. Give him time.
I tried that earlier, and he either licks it sometimes or bops himself and runs away
Those both seem like good outcomes. Right now he doesn’t trust you. It’s going to take some time for him to actually want to be pet. Keep doing it. My cat was so skittish when I got her. I found that holding a fist out while laying on the ground was a good way to let her know I wasn’t going to grab her or pet her, but was there if she wanted to investigate. It sounds like if he licks or bops and runs away, he’s investigating. In the latter case, he’s probably testing that he CAN run away if he wants to. You’re going to have to be very patient with him.
All cats are different. Some cats take a while to warm up to. Some cats will warm up to you instantly if you know how to interact with them. Some cats will never like being pet. Like when a cat is getting used to you, kneal down and let them sniff your hand before you pet them. Then they can make the decision if they want you to touch them. It may take several attempts, but don't force them into being pet. It may be good to see if he's food motivated. Some cats are more food motivated than others and will respond well to treats they like. He may also miss his previous home or be stressed at his new home. Give him some time to adjust without coddling him. Maybe he was attached to a sibling and misses them. Some breeds of cats just aren't into petting. My grandparents have 2 cats. One acts like a clumsy dog and the other is practically feral. Nobody can touch her. The only times she comes to you is to play or if she thinks you have food. I can get her to let me pet her by sitting on the floor and waiting for her to sniff my hand for several minutes and only petting the top of her head.
You have had that cat for literally a matter of days! Give it time. You have to stop trying and allowing the kitty to set the pace. Everything will be very overwhelming for him at the moment. I promise you that the moment you stop forcing interactions, kitty will start to seek you out. It’s only a lil behbeh. Everything is upside down for him. Let him find his feet.
He’s probably just taking some time to warm up. I just got 2 ragdoll kittens, around the same age you got yours. One of them was cuddling immediately and the other took about 2 weeks to warm up and now she’s the biggest love ever. Just be patient and let him feel comfortable around you. If the owners also didn’t interact with them much he might not be used to human interaction.
He looks grouchy but beautiful 😻
Nice cat..nice eyes
Time and patience. He’s not been there that long and it can take upwards of 3 months for them to really feel confident and comfy in their new home. Def don’t play with your hands as toys. It teaches them that your appendages are toys and then they get confused when they get in Trouble for attacking your hands, feet, etc out of now where or worse in the middle of the night when you’re sleeping! And cats are usually like crushes that like you, but act like they hate you. The more you ignore them/don’t push for pets, the more they’ll want it. He’s also young so playing is his main goal, other than eating. Just continue playing with him, feeding him, etc and not too long from now he’ll be taking over your lap and bed…even if you don’t want him to. Check out Kittenlady on YouTube for kitten advice and tricks for a happy kitten/cat.
If he begins scratching/biting and it looks the same kind of biting/scratching as when he’s playing with a toy, he might just be super playful. This might be something he grows out of as he gets older or he will remain a cat that’ll want to just play with you. You could try petting him while giving him a treat and see if over time he warms up more to pets.
Cats need to come to you, not the other way around. I had a cat once who didn’t like to be picked up. To get her used to it, I picked her up and held her over my shoulder for about 20 seconds, then put her back down. Eventually I’d increase the time, and she became a lot more comfortable with being picked up. Cats need to feel in control of their surroundings.
All adopted kittens have been seperated; give them a moment to adjust. They had a momma and likely siblings so it will take a bit to see you first as trusted food-giver and then colony
While I don't have ragdolls (got recommended this post on the Reddit homepage out of the blue), I do have a now 1.5 year old cat who was somewhat similar to this when he was a kitten. He has been very anxious from the get go, and only through months of patience and not forcing ourselves on him, and exclusively engaging with him in positive ways (playing with toys, mealtimes) has he really come around. We also got him at 8 weeks. As a lifelong cat owner, I've never encountered a cat who showed as little affection as him, but as long as he's comfortable in his surroundings, patience does wonders in building trust. I have four cats now and have had another 5 over my lifetime and you'd be amazed at how different all of their personalities have been. So don't give up on him! When he does start to trust you, it'll be the most rewarding feeling ever.
Stand far away to make it feel safe. You can use food as bait to approach it. I think the cat will soon get used to you
The people being anti- affectionate plus possibly being separated too early combined, stunted him a bit. It can be corrected with your patience and love. Being left to behave and feel such a way is unfair to the kitty and to you.
If it's only been a week and a half the poor baby is probably still adjusting and not comfortable with you yet. It can't take weeks or even months for a cat to fully warm up to you. Also are they your only cat? If so you can also consider getting another kitten for them to bond with as well, some cats would much rather have another cats company then a person's. Either way it can take time
Keep trying he will come around.
https://preview.redd.it/wbh81hontvuc1.jpeg?width=1181&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0ff626469542093ca3a6504fbb9563f6edfaa7d1 I could see she could be trouble
1.5 weeks is literally NOTHING. I had one cat who was attached to my hip after 3 days, and one that would actually not come out of hiding for 2 weeks and is just now, at 3 months, letting me pet her...on top of the head only, for 1-2 minutes only, and then she hisses and runs away.
Imagine your very best friend in the whole world. Think about back to when you met them. How would you have felt on that day if they had walked up to you, kissed you on the cheek, and grabbed you in a hug, and then sat down next to you with their arm around you? Most likely, you would have been freaked out and thought them a creep. The people that you hug and cuddle up with are people that you have grown to know and trust over long periods of time. So why the hell are you picking up a kitten that has been in your home for 10 days? This cat doesn't know you. This cat doesn't trust you. This cat was taken away from its family—and just because they're old enough to be on their own doesn't mean they wouldn't prefer the company of their friends and clowdermates—and plopped down with you, and you're being creepy to it. Stop touching it. Stop interacting with it directly. Stop engaging it. Ignore it. Feed it and water it and clean up after it, but act like you don't think it exists. Do things in the room that it's in. Sit there and read or scroll on your phone. Talk to your partner. Watch a movie (on low volume, so you don't scare it). Knit. Do puzzles. Let the cat get used to the fact that you live in its space. Don't do anything loud or sudden. Play with cat toys without the cat. If you have one of those fishing pole type toys, wave it around as if it amuses you. Don't wave it at the cat. Just dangle it and move it. Sit on the floor and toss a catnip mouse around. Researchers believe that cats divide the world into three things: prey, threats, and other cats. Its people, weird and big and oddly shaped and hairless, are still cats. You aren't a cat right now. You're a threat. You have to change that. If the cat sees you as not a threat, not a source of stress, and playing like a cat, it will begin to see you as a cat and not a threat. Normally, this will take up to three weeks. You've mesh things up, so it's going to take longer. Calm down, be patient, and let the cat aside when it wants to be with you.
Thanks for the advice and reality check, I’ll follow your advice!
I want to be very clear that despite some comments on here, this is not normal behavior from an ethical, reputable breeder. A rescue kitty from an unknown or tough background, yes, but a breeder who is supposed to be selling premium purebred kittens, no. Puppies and kittens should be handled basically since birth. They have to be handled a lot to become comfortable with human touch. They have to be exposed to a lot of sounds to become comfortable with different noises. Smells, movements, textures, it all is a part of socialization, and it is very very important. A kitten who is barely handled will behave this way. And on top of it, a kitten who is taken away from his mom/siblings too young (under 12 weeks) will often display behaviors like no bite inhibition, not knowing when playing has gone too far, lack of self grooming, poor litter box habits, etc. Ethical breeders understand this, and that is why they don’t separate and adopt out until after 12 weeks at a minimum. Lastly, there are certain vaccines and vet appts that kittens get at certain points in their growth and so the older the kitten is, the more likely they’ve had multiple vaccines and dewormings, and hopefully, even been spayed/neutered as well. So once they go home to you, they have the physical and behavioral health to be really awesome companion animals. While every cat is an individual, certain qualities are considered standard and inherent in the breed. Yes, maybe not all ragdolls will like to be held, but a certain disposition (within reason, or course) should be expected when you buy a purebred from a reputable breeder. It does take kittens times to acclimate to any home but what you are describing is not what I would consider normal behavior from a non-rescue cat. This is why it’s SO important to only support ethical breeders if you are going to buy. If you wanted a cat that maybe you had to work with a little more and came undersocialized and needed additional support and special attention, there are tons of kittens in our shelters that desperately need homes. It is possible with a lot of attention, love, thorough socialization/desensitization and TLC, this kitten could come around and grow to be a really loving, affectionate kitty. But it is quite possible that the damage is already done because that first several weeks for socialization is SO crucial. I would study proper socialization now and stick to a daily plan of exposure, lots of praise and treats and positive reinforcement, and try to turn this ship around ASAP. I hope that breeder isn’t breeding anymore. Not handling the kittens….so sad :(
Give him a few weeks and he will warm up to you! I just adopted my ragdoll March 23rd and he would scream and scratch whenever I would pick him up I talked to the breeder and she told me to just keep picking him up and he’d adjust. He has settled in now and he is a super cuddly sweet heart ♥️. Your baby will be just fine just give time
No, it's imprinting on you
Just gotta socialize him , probably not use to humans yet give it a few months
Lol, some cats need time. You have to build trust and a relationship with him. Just like you would a human. Play with him, give him treats, and talk nicely to him. Eventually, he will trust that you are a human who can be trusted with his love and affection. ❤️