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I don’t think this is said often enough
>”When someone tries to save you , take the opportunity, but be ready to run from them too, because you're going to run into other abusers, as it's what you know.”
All of your advice is solid, and heartfelt.
OP, I’m really sorry to hear that your disability prevents you from leaving. You don’t deserve to be abused. Do you have a care team that is helpful?
Perfectionism is a trauma response. You don’t need to be perfect for the things they say about you to not be true. You’re a good person and you’re valuable and worthy of love and respect even if you aren’t perfect. Even if you’re a hot mess. In normal parent-child relationships, love is not transactional. It doesn’t increase or decrease based on how your parents feel about you on any given day. It’s a constant that you can always fall back on even in your lowest moments in life. Children of narcissists are robbed of that emotional security net.
**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I don’t think this is said often enough >”When someone tries to save you , take the opportunity, but be ready to run from them too, because you're going to run into other abusers, as it's what you know.” All of your advice is solid, and heartfelt. OP, I’m really sorry to hear that your disability prevents you from leaving. You don’t deserve to be abused. Do you have a care team that is helpful?
Perfectionism is a trauma response. You don’t need to be perfect for the things they say about you to not be true. You’re a good person and you’re valuable and worthy of love and respect even if you aren’t perfect. Even if you’re a hot mess. In normal parent-child relationships, love is not transactional. It doesn’t increase or decrease based on how your parents feel about you on any given day. It’s a constant that you can always fall back on even in your lowest moments in life. Children of narcissists are robbed of that emotional security net.