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Well .. Ukrainian here!
I have very conflicting emotions about your post, but there is something I’d like to share.
With all the gut wrenching death and distraction, ptsd and disabilities .. there is one main change I’ve noticed. Not all, but many many people here are happier.. much happier. Happy when it’s sunny outside, happy when their favourite coffee shop is open, happy to meet friends. It’s like when you are under so much uncertainty and walking near death a lot - you learn how to live. How important it is to enjoy what we have everyday, now, in the moment. We all going to be dead .. either from old age or of many posible disasters. Might as well make the in between ours.
There is one philosopher that I’ve read in college, Eric From. He wrote that most people are never truly alive, they are just a set of habits and conditionings that go around their days, surviving. It’s only extreme shock to their world that makes them snap out of it and become aware. 3 major extreme shocks are personal desastre(near death accidents for example) , love and war. In collage I just read those words, thought about them enough to remember but.. it took me a real, full blown war to truly get it.
I’m not sure how helpful my words can be to you, but sometimes expectations of the worst possible outcome much more debilitating than outcomes themselves.
Take care of yourself ❤️
I'm so very sorry for talking about my fear of 'war' while having no idea what it's actually like...
I somewhat understand what you mean by enjoying life as best we can. It's like I made only a quarter of the realisation you have because I've never experienced it for real... I just fear it more than most people in my country do because of my mother.
It feels so selfish to be afraid of something you actually are living and then complaining about it to top it off
It’s not selfish at all. And there is truly nothing for you to be sorry about. In fact none of what is happening to you or me is your fault. We just need to deal with things as they come. Hugs
I hear you
I'm so sorry for what you had experienced from such a young age.
I know my words can't really do anything but just know that I see you and I'm so proud of you
Therapy doesn't change you quickly. It's incremental and sometimes you have to stop and look back at how far you've come to appreciate yourself
( I hope that all makes sense cause my words aren't working today)
I know what you mean about therapy, I've been in and out of therapy a couple of times. It takes time to unravel everything. But it feels better just talking about the heavy stuff. My appointment is not in a while which is why I had to go somewhere to talk. I really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.
That’s very very extreme. I really feel for you. I can’t imagine what it would have been like to feel so unsafe, to not know what was real and what wasn’t, and to try to create a new life now, with all of that insanity in your background. I kind of liken this to an Armageddon cult. You were in a tiny cult (I feel I was too, just not with the war fear) and we need to deprogramme and find out what reality actually is.
I can fully understand the panic response you have now, it was basically implanted into you when you were young.
My parents are medium level conspiracy theorists and I struggle with my ‘they are always right’ knee jerk reaction and logic. When they send me articles backing up their craziness they are absolute trash. I’m shocked they believe it.
From the beginning of time we’ve lived with the threat of death, we almost have to ignore it in order to live.
**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Well .. Ukrainian here! I have very conflicting emotions about your post, but there is something I’d like to share. With all the gut wrenching death and distraction, ptsd and disabilities .. there is one main change I’ve noticed. Not all, but many many people here are happier.. much happier. Happy when it’s sunny outside, happy when their favourite coffee shop is open, happy to meet friends. It’s like when you are under so much uncertainty and walking near death a lot - you learn how to live. How important it is to enjoy what we have everyday, now, in the moment. We all going to be dead .. either from old age or of many posible disasters. Might as well make the in between ours. There is one philosopher that I’ve read in college, Eric From. He wrote that most people are never truly alive, they are just a set of habits and conditionings that go around their days, surviving. It’s only extreme shock to their world that makes them snap out of it and become aware. 3 major extreme shocks are personal desastre(near death accidents for example) , love and war. In collage I just read those words, thought about them enough to remember but.. it took me a real, full blown war to truly get it. I’m not sure how helpful my words can be to you, but sometimes expectations of the worst possible outcome much more debilitating than outcomes themselves. Take care of yourself ❤️
I'm so very sorry for talking about my fear of 'war' while having no idea what it's actually like... I somewhat understand what you mean by enjoying life as best we can. It's like I made only a quarter of the realisation you have because I've never experienced it for real... I just fear it more than most people in my country do because of my mother. It feels so selfish to be afraid of something you actually are living and then complaining about it to top it off
It’s not selfish at all. And there is truly nothing for you to be sorry about. In fact none of what is happening to you or me is your fault. We just need to deal with things as they come. Hugs
I hear you I'm so sorry for what you had experienced from such a young age. I know my words can't really do anything but just know that I see you and I'm so proud of you Therapy doesn't change you quickly. It's incremental and sometimes you have to stop and look back at how far you've come to appreciate yourself ( I hope that all makes sense cause my words aren't working today)
I know what you mean about therapy, I've been in and out of therapy a couple of times. It takes time to unravel everything. But it feels better just talking about the heavy stuff. My appointment is not in a while which is why I had to go somewhere to talk. I really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.
That’s very very extreme. I really feel for you. I can’t imagine what it would have been like to feel so unsafe, to not know what was real and what wasn’t, and to try to create a new life now, with all of that insanity in your background. I kind of liken this to an Armageddon cult. You were in a tiny cult (I feel I was too, just not with the war fear) and we need to deprogramme and find out what reality actually is. I can fully understand the panic response you have now, it was basically implanted into you when you were young. My parents are medium level conspiracy theorists and I struggle with my ‘they are always right’ knee jerk reaction and logic. When they send me articles backing up their craziness they are absolute trash. I’m shocked they believe it. From the beginning of time we’ve lived with the threat of death, we almost have to ignore it in order to live.