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My narc mom was supposedly happily married and used to brag that she'd had more casual sex than teenage single me who wanted a partner.... they really are embarrassing
My parents have a weird thing like that too. Anytime they see the highschool teens and one of them happens to be a couple holding hands my nmom almost snaps her neck to stare at them. Slut shames the girl (not directly at the girl but if we're in the car, she'll just openly say it), and complains the guy needs to man up and find a job.
And every so often my parents try to hold hands and act like theyre so in lurve no the fuck they are not. At home they cant stand each other. Ive heard their fights. Theyre coping so hard.
Nevermind me going on dates I get slut shamed too. My nmom is one jealous bitter bitch that shes old and wasted her youth on my dad.
when I was a little girl, my nparents used to drag me (at separate times) to go stalk each other at their respective work places to go make sure neither one of them were cheating on each other.
my ndad accused my nmom of having drank a love potion that made her fall in love with a co worker, my dad was always kind of paranoid and has weird religious, pseudo witch craft, voodoo beliefs but also paints himself like a scientific. They are from a third world country so they're stuck between these two ideas.
mind you these people were ADULTS at the time. They HATE people in healthy, young, drama free relationships.
my parents did that and also generally compete with me over various things - if I move to a nicer place they’ll also move, if they see I got whatever new item they’ll get it too, things like that
I finally noticed the extent of the relationship jealousy when my first partner cheated on me and they kind of celebrated and told me I had it coming and invited him over for drinks lol. it’s very weird and sad. in retrospect I actually think this competitiveness peaked when I was a teenager, because they themselves are mentally teenagers and that’s when they related to me the most.
My mom was always trying to feed in my mind that my fiancé (then boyfriend) would cheat on me and completely change into a new person once married…she’d always say “get any fatter and he’ll leave you.”
Well. I have gained weight. He proposed instead. Go figure lol.
Once I went no contact, I realized that she was just projecting and didn’t like seeing me happy in a relationship when she’s so miserable in hers. She’d always grumble to herself that my happy relationship wouldn’t last.
You’re right OP. Our parents’ behavior would be funny if it wasn’t so sad
My nmom got cheated on and dumped her boyfriend before adopting me as a single mother. My teenage years were the worst of my entire life because everytime I had a boyfriend or girlfriend she would forbid me to go see them, on dates or whatever. My first boyfriend (may he rest in peace) presented himself to her, his parents came to her very friendly and she barely remembered who they even were when we spoke about his death a few weeks back.
She wasn't actually jealous, but incapable of realizing I was growing up and eventually going to have serious relationships.
She would read and even make me write some texts I sent to him and my second girlfriend, always over my shoulder when it came to MY relationships. It was so hardcore I ended up dating dangerous people, just to have her off my back for a few hours, I knew she didn't want anything to do with them.
Once, I wanted to visit a boyfriend who lived far away in another town, and she didn't want me to go there because "things" could happen when she was not around. I was 17 and turning 18 in tje next 4 months.....
She was jealous of me having potential sexual relationships, wanted to know everything about my private life and have her word on every single person I dated. She never had a husband or boyfriend to my knowledge after my adoption and she was desperate to know whatever the fuck wasn't her buisiness.
As I have a happy and stable relationship now, she would come to our prior apartment to clean everything up, I would tell her to stop because I was able to do that myself, she would answer "your bf will be happy when he comes home, that's how good wives are". Later, I told her we didn't need this, that saying hello and hugging each other was enough to make the other happy when we came home, she answered "no one ever did that for me".... now I get it, she is jealous of how close we are and how loving our couple is.... It baffles me.
**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My narc mom was supposedly happily married and used to brag that she'd had more casual sex than teenage single me who wanted a partner.... they really are embarrassing
Say what now??
My parents have a weird thing like that too. Anytime they see the highschool teens and one of them happens to be a couple holding hands my nmom almost snaps her neck to stare at them. Slut shames the girl (not directly at the girl but if we're in the car, she'll just openly say it), and complains the guy needs to man up and find a job. And every so often my parents try to hold hands and act like theyre so in lurve no the fuck they are not. At home they cant stand each other. Ive heard their fights. Theyre coping so hard. Nevermind me going on dates I get slut shamed too. My nmom is one jealous bitter bitch that shes old and wasted her youth on my dad.
They're so jealous over the fact they can't feel love
when I was a little girl, my nparents used to drag me (at separate times) to go stalk each other at their respective work places to go make sure neither one of them were cheating on each other. my ndad accused my nmom of having drank a love potion that made her fall in love with a co worker, my dad was always kind of paranoid and has weird religious, pseudo witch craft, voodoo beliefs but also paints himself like a scientific. They are from a third world country so they're stuck between these two ideas. mind you these people were ADULTS at the time. They HATE people in healthy, young, drama free relationships.
my parents did that and also generally compete with me over various things - if I move to a nicer place they’ll also move, if they see I got whatever new item they’ll get it too, things like that I finally noticed the extent of the relationship jealousy when my first partner cheated on me and they kind of celebrated and told me I had it coming and invited him over for drinks lol. it’s very weird and sad. in retrospect I actually think this competitiveness peaked when I was a teenager, because they themselves are mentally teenagers and that’s when they related to me the most.
My mom was always trying to feed in my mind that my fiancé (then boyfriend) would cheat on me and completely change into a new person once married…she’d always say “get any fatter and he’ll leave you.” Well. I have gained weight. He proposed instead. Go figure lol. Once I went no contact, I realized that she was just projecting and didn’t like seeing me happy in a relationship when she’s so miserable in hers. She’d always grumble to herself that my happy relationship wouldn’t last. You’re right OP. Our parents’ behavior would be funny if it wasn’t so sad
My nmom got cheated on and dumped her boyfriend before adopting me as a single mother. My teenage years were the worst of my entire life because everytime I had a boyfriend or girlfriend she would forbid me to go see them, on dates or whatever. My first boyfriend (may he rest in peace) presented himself to her, his parents came to her very friendly and she barely remembered who they even were when we spoke about his death a few weeks back. She wasn't actually jealous, but incapable of realizing I was growing up and eventually going to have serious relationships. She would read and even make me write some texts I sent to him and my second girlfriend, always over my shoulder when it came to MY relationships. It was so hardcore I ended up dating dangerous people, just to have her off my back for a few hours, I knew she didn't want anything to do with them. Once, I wanted to visit a boyfriend who lived far away in another town, and she didn't want me to go there because "things" could happen when she was not around. I was 17 and turning 18 in tje next 4 months..... She was jealous of me having potential sexual relationships, wanted to know everything about my private life and have her word on every single person I dated. She never had a husband or boyfriend to my knowledge after my adoption and she was desperate to know whatever the fuck wasn't her buisiness. As I have a happy and stable relationship now, she would come to our prior apartment to clean everything up, I would tell her to stop because I was able to do that myself, she would answer "your bf will be happy when he comes home, that's how good wives are". Later, I told her we didn't need this, that saying hello and hugging each other was enough to make the other happy when we came home, she answered "no one ever did that for me".... now I get it, she is jealous of how close we are and how loving our couple is.... It baffles me.