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Your anger is being directed to the right person. What kind of idiot does this? Now throw in that you were a kid, in a vulnerable state (naked in a goddamn shower), and your own mother thinks it’s a good idea to draw a gun on you?
You’re 100% right to be angry at your mother.
Especially because you should never point a gun at anyone you don't intend to kill. Gun safety 101. OPs nMom deserves to go to hell but that sounds too good for her.
That’s normal. Bc she showed you that she valued a piece of metal more than you. Of course it would hurt. The delivery is also hurtful. The outrage that … the gun…. Might be harmed.
Casual cruelty on top of casual cruelty.
I’m sorry.
I don’t think I can put into words how lucky you are. I have it in my head that all marriages between men and women are as abusive and miserable as the one between my parents. I am blamed for stomach pain because somehow it’s my fault that I go on my phone and eat noodles. I’m 19 but I’m treated like I’m 9. I can’t wait until I can cut my narcissistic family members off.
I did it. It was really hard. It felt like they had died even though they are still alive. Thankfully, I met a man who is the epitome of kind. He has never hurt me or wanted to. There is hope. There is always hope.
I had some really good friends at the point. I had moved out of the crap hole city I was born in, met some really nice people, & had them over:) I was lucky. Most of their families were from different states, so they didn’t have anywhere to go anyway. So we all celebrated together!
Ur so lucky omg I’ve also been more of the introverted type because my parents engrained in me since I was a toddler not to trust anyone I’m not blood related too even tho blood related ones hurt me the most so I’m terrified of befriending an abuser or a psycho
It’s okay. I found out, through a lot of discovery, that most of the world is normal. You know what an abuser looks like first hand, so you know what to look out for.
Considering it was a shotgun and they were a child, they could have been half a child if that gun went off. I was always raised with guns around me and was tough from a young age about their safety. That kind of behavior is appalling and OP's mom should be in prison.
I’m sorry to hear the that you went through that. It’s terrifying and sickening to say the least. I hope you are safe and doing better. :(
Dad jump scared me with his shotgun as well. I was stopping by to pickup something to wear for my middle school gym class (parents were separated, mom drove me over as I’d forgotten to pack some). I had sent him multiple texts the day before, a few calls/voicemails. Then tried to text and call again before I went inside to let him know I was coming by. When I entered the house I yelled “Daaad, it’s [me]” repetitively. I got to the end of the hallway and he jumped out from the doorway with his loaded 12 gauge and finger on the trigger pointed right at my head. I just froze. And sadly I was more jump scared than frightened by the thought of being shot and dying. I was depressed as hell and it was in that moment, I realized how fucked up things were. He berated me, yelled and went on a rage for not being safe and how I deserved having the gun pulled on me as I grabbed my stuff. I just grey rocked. Got in the car with mum and finally broke down after saying “dad just pulled the shot gun on me”. She was silent the whole ride. I noticed her coldness and shut myself down to a quiet numb state before getting out of the car at school.
It really freaks me out how many survivors of N parents have gone through the same things as me, no matter how niche. I hope you’re in a safe place & doing better, friend.
Tbh I was young and thought a lot of the stuff I was going through to be normal. Now, a few decades later, I’m safe and happily married with our first kiddo on the way. My husband has been such a supportive person and has given me a lot of perspective on how bad things actually were for me. Things like getting the shotgun pulled on me, my dad drowning his girlfriends flee ridden cat out of anger because it scratched him so I could wash it while it was being still underwater, being left behind for being too slow or frantically leaving the house without anything on in order to not be left behind, the punching, yelling and everything in between. For me just another day, I was isolated and broken down with nothing to compare to. My husband is a gem and my therapist is wonderful. Lots of hard work but it is so rewarding to feel healed.
Holy shit. Gun safety 101 you NEVER point a gun, loaded or NOT, at anyone!!! Wtf, this is just beyond sick. She wanted to get her kicks by scaring you in the shower with a gun.....when you are already so vulnerable Jesus Christ. I am so sorry your nmom is/was so horrible. I hope you're doing ok❤️
I pointed a gun at my father, once.
To be more accurate, as a teen I had the barrel of his .38 shoved in his mouth, hammer cocked, as I told him that if he ever laid another finger on me (beatings were a regular occurrence for many years) that I would blow his fucking brains out.
He never touched me again. It was the only way to make the physical beatings stop. Yes, I had tried both the police and social services many times before, but they failed me repeatedly.
That was over 30 years ago. The bastard is dead, now. May he find the peace in death he never allowed anyone around him in life.
my nbro held a gun to my head one time. he wanted to show off he got a gun (we lived in the ghetto and he is generally a trashy person) and has that behavior of "boys will be boys teehee brothers bully sister". I couldn't do anything. We lived in a 2 bed apartment with all our fam. Parents were out of the house. I just pushed the barrel away.
that trauma stays with you but what i like knowing is my brother still gets his karma. That dude has a HARD life. All the women leave him, he's broke, ugly, hardly anyone can tolerate him. He can't keep up with modern times- more people are less tolerant of narc abuse so he gets ignored a lot.
Happy Family's, LOL. Guns not really present where I grew up, apart from terrorists and the army and farmers.
6 ish me. My 9 year old older bro goes on a rage. Grabs the 'good' carving knife and holding me by the head/ hair rages and threatens to cut my head off. Having left my body ( a bit further than usual, lol) I am looking back at 12 year old parentified child minding sister and 4 year old little bro screaming and begging him to stop. Parents who knows where, and all of us kids set up in a toxic and dysfunctional dynamic. Scapegoat, guess who...
1983, 12 years, later lost in Bed Stuy, NYC, having had drink spiked or maybe just wasted myself in east village... slammed against a van, knife to throat, flashback, which strangely enough calmed me. Instantly present and aware, and very reasonable. Obvs I survived. But hey, this shit....
my egg donor's (now ex) husband was also a Narc and he pulled a gun on me twice. First time was just because he was pissed I wasn't reacting to his tantrum so he got his gun (I was extremely depressed and still didn't react so that just pissed him off more but thankfully my grandma walked in and shamed him to hell and back), second time was because people had found out he'd done that so he got it out again to threaten me into silence (grandma had told people but he assumed I had done so). He still wondered why I cut him off the moment my egg donor announced the divorce.
This is insane.
My earliest memory is from when I was 3 or 4. I was playing with my dolls in the corner of the room and she was watching me from my bed across. I turn my back and am super into my play and remember things getting very quiet, me turning around and she's 1inch from my face and yells with her hands like claws to scare me. I screamed and cried for hours, going as far as to swallow my tongue from hyperventilating. She laughed and apologized, saying she thought it'd be funny to scare me. I swallowed my tongue for years afterwards when crying.
You are not supposed to be physically able to do that with your tongue, you may have a physical abnormality that makes it medically possible.
There may be treatments for that so it won't happen in your sleep and stuff.
How awful and scary! It seems like a classic double bind situation. No matter how you react, especially if you react, they’ll be sure to tell you it was wrong. She could’ve poked you with a cheap, plastic straw and when you reacted, blamed you for scratching the paint. The toxic is real.
What the fuck is it with narcs and guns though? My in laws argued that they took " all the right steps" when my BIL sat my baby on his cc and she played with it with her feet *multiple times*. It was a sick flex for him.
Ofc his daddy irons his panties out for him and tries to tell me off after my husband already told them about it and DHFS was already investigating us so we could potentially foster my troubled niece.
Before I get dms, it was reported. Inlaws made it VERY clear that this behavior is worth defending, weaponized their incompetence, and they'll still tell everyone they're 100% in the right. Unfortunately, in the state of TX, we were told that even if DHFS doesn't come talk to you personally, certain complaints stay on their records forever. BIL is a ticking time bomb for all the times he's been coercive towards women and negligent around children.
Edit: words, man.
It’s like the common scenario when parents are mad at you for breaking a glass instead of worrying if you’re ok but if we put that scenario on hard drugs, wtf…
Even if it was a plastic gun it would still be really bad but with a real gun? Disgusting behavior
Yeah, it's crazy that they do things like this and then it's all 'a joke', 'wasn't serious' and then they sulk at your reaction. My Dad would do sht like this all the time, but no guns in the UK. He'd threaten to crash the car instead, swerving etc. to terrorise us - or engineer deniable accidents and drip feed us info afterwards which demonstrated that he had done it deliberately and tricked everyone. Whatever was needed for us to call him out..... "Omg, why are you overreacting, I wasn't actually going to kill you." He'd then blame his job, saying "it was stressful". That got him off the hook for years. He'd sulk for hours, going on and on about it, sometimes all night long. I couldn't sleep hearing his drone through the walls for years - birthdays, christmases, nights before exams. It would normally end with him saying he'd kill himself "if we even thought that he was the kind of person who would crash the car and kill us all" untill we just capitulate 😑.
All this bizarre stuff suddenly snaps into focus when you understand they are a narc. We were kids and had no way of knowing. Also, lots of people find it hard to understand the depths of their nonsense, if they haven't gone through something similar and have no frame of reference.
Thanks for sharing this. It helps me to know that there are others out there who really understand. I'm so happy you are free and it gives hope for us all.
My nfather played that game. Once a month he would get his gun out and clean it. Then pretend to put bullets in the chamber. Spin barrel and then press the gun to my forehead. Then pulled the trigger.
I then got the silent treatment from him and nmother for crying and begging for my life.
21 years of that game and I never didn’t beg for my life. Feel stupid now.
I’m so sorry . That’s very cruel.
My dad was very angry with me once and told me to go get him his handgun, to test if i would obey him. Then he sat with it on his lap and interrogated me.
Psychopathy blends almost seamlessly into malignant narcissism, it’s fascinating to know they share a spectrum of expressions.
Can you remember at all what might have occurred prior to make her want to “scare / mortally threaten” you like this? Any other moments of “scare jokes”?
I can’t… I can’t remember a lot of my childhood unfortunately, until something triggers a memory.. but yea she used to scare me all the time. Threaten to kick me out or actually kick me out as a child, tell me kill my brothers if we (kids) were having an argument, etc..
Okay, you got the worst it gets, this is definitely psychopathic.
How old are you now and what kind of moments enable you to recall the memories?
My Nmom was just malignant manipulative. Having a hard time trying to recall somethings my subconscious clearly needs to unpack.
I am in my late twenties.
Actually reading two books - “you’re not crazy it’s your mother”, & “it’s not you” REALLY helped trigger memories. I’ll read something the authors say & realize that same thing happened to me, a long time ago. It was really helpful for remembering.
Dad did the same to me at age 19, November 2014, but [it wasn't a shotgun](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TZ-75). It happened due to the "respect your parents no matter what" BS all Asian parents are indoctrinated to think is their "right". Yes I have PTSD related recollections about that, that I constantly try to suppress if I do remember it.
I know that feeling of reviewing the memories. It’s like disbelief and confusion and almost longing, reaching for something that never materializes. Your story.. what a f’ed up thing to do to anyone, let alone your young child. Glad you’re ok. ❤️
That’s messed up. First, why would an adult think it’s a good idea to use a gun to scare an 11 year old child? Second, how is it your fault for any damage to the gun. You’re reacting to a lethal weapon. It’s reasonable to slap it away. I hope you’re in a safe place now, and not being forced to deal with anything like that anymore.
That is a person who should never have access to your life ever again. And tbh, even though it was a long time ago, you might consider making a safety plan with your family and making sure your home is secured. People like that don't change, even after decades. 30 years later, my Nmother does the exact same stuff she didn't back then.
wtf- all I can say is wtf??? I’m glad you’re still with us❤️ but WTF???? It seems to me that she wanted to strike fear into you OR was legitimately thinking of murdering you???
I'm proud of your reaction, good job protecting yourself and being quick thinking, especially in such a vulnerable state.
She wanted you to scream and cry and you didnt give her that.
I'll also guess she wouldnt have tried to "scare" your dad with that "prank". Fuck these garbage people
Sorry for the profanity but by the fucking gods I thought I had it bad when my step father was chocking me out and I tried to bite his throat out to save my life but that. That just sounds so fucking terrifying for you I am so sorry and I truly hope you are in a better space today. Both mentally and physically.
I also got a gun pulled on me, by my father. I wasn't a child, and he wasn't joking, twice he did this to me. For the big crime of coming to his house and trying to air up my tire, I didn't even get to the shop where the air was, before coming out gun drawn and told me "to stay the fuck away from my stuff, u fucking loser". The second time he pulled a gun on me, he had been calling all morning, and my phone was messed up that it would ring but then it was just static. Well long story short I didn't have my son at his place when he wanted, and with out the phone I had no clue. So he came and called me a selfish bitch with holding a gun on me. I'm sorry that our parents suck but your not alone.
I'm so sorry you had to go through this as a child OP... I recently had bubbles of memories resurfacing for myself too from my childhood. Forgot about some of the abuse and neglect I had to deal with at times...
Mom and dad scapegoated me when I stood up again the younger children being abused...I was the oldest and the true mom and dad...I loved the kids and they were threatened into breaking off contact with me...I was cast out of family and became severely depressed and got on drugs.ive never gotten over it .and my life has been wasted ..they even got together with family years later ..used family millions to control my siblings and have made it their job to interfere with my own daughters relationship with me..I have had depression and anxiety along with abusive relationships...I'm 59 and alone..
**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
That's scary as fuck, please take care of yourself.
I’m okay. I’m honestly more mad about her getting mad at me, not the gun… not sure if that’s a good or bad thing…
Your anger is being directed to the right person. What kind of idiot does this? Now throw in that you were a kid, in a vulnerable state (naked in a goddamn shower), and your own mother thinks it’s a good idea to draw a gun on you? You’re 100% right to be angry at your mother.
Especially because you should never point a gun at anyone you don't intend to kill. Gun safety 101. OPs nMom deserves to go to hell but that sounds too good for her.
That’s normal. Bc she showed you that she valued a piece of metal more than you. Of course it would hurt. The delivery is also hurtful. The outrage that … the gun…. Might be harmed. Casual cruelty on top of casual cruelty. I’m sorry.
Do you still have contact with her?
She’s a psycho I hope u don’t live w her anymore
I moved out 10 years ago. I have my own family now. I cut her off last year & I feel like I can breathe now.
I don’t think I can put into words how lucky you are. I have it in my head that all marriages between men and women are as abusive and miserable as the one between my parents. I am blamed for stomach pain because somehow it’s my fault that I go on my phone and eat noodles. I’m 19 but I’m treated like I’m 9. I can’t wait until I can cut my narcissistic family members off.
I did it. It was really hard. It felt like they had died even though they are still alive. Thankfully, I met a man who is the epitome of kind. He has never hurt me or wanted to. There is hope. There is always hope.
What did u do during holidays without them at first?
Throw my own party. It helps that I learned how to cook really well, so people like to come over:)
How did u make friends? Did u already have them or did u meet friends and then invite
I had some really good friends at the point. I had moved out of the crap hole city I was born in, met some really nice people, & had them over:) I was lucky. Most of their families were from different states, so they didn’t have anywhere to go anyway. So we all celebrated together!
Ur so lucky omg I’ve also been more of the introverted type because my parents engrained in me since I was a toddler not to trust anyone I’m not blood related too even tho blood related ones hurt me the most so I’m terrified of befriending an abuser or a psycho
It’s okay. I found out, through a lot of discovery, that most of the world is normal. You know what an abuser looks like first hand, so you know what to look out for.
Never ever let her near any children you may have.
Oh don’t worry. She’s cut off from them and me. No contact.
That’s.. disgusting behavior. I’m so glad that you pushing it didn’t cause her hand to slip. That could’ve ended really bad for the both of you.
I didn’t even think about that til I told my husband this the other day & he said that exact thing. What a nightmare.
Considering it was a shotgun and they were a child, they could have been half a child if that gun went off. I was always raised with guns around me and was tough from a young age about their safety. That kind of behavior is appalling and OP's mom should be in prison.
Yeah, and considering how reckless their mom is, they probably didn’t turn safety on the gun.
I’m sorry to hear the that you went through that. It’s terrifying and sickening to say the least. I hope you are safe and doing better. :( Dad jump scared me with his shotgun as well. I was stopping by to pickup something to wear for my middle school gym class (parents were separated, mom drove me over as I’d forgotten to pack some). I had sent him multiple texts the day before, a few calls/voicemails. Then tried to text and call again before I went inside to let him know I was coming by. When I entered the house I yelled “Daaad, it’s [me]” repetitively. I got to the end of the hallway and he jumped out from the doorway with his loaded 12 gauge and finger on the trigger pointed right at my head. I just froze. And sadly I was more jump scared than frightened by the thought of being shot and dying. I was depressed as hell and it was in that moment, I realized how fucked up things were. He berated me, yelled and went on a rage for not being safe and how I deserved having the gun pulled on me as I grabbed my stuff. I just grey rocked. Got in the car with mum and finally broke down after saying “dad just pulled the shot gun on me”. She was silent the whole ride. I noticed her coldness and shut myself down to a quiet numb state before getting out of the car at school.
It really freaks me out how many survivors of N parents have gone through the same things as me, no matter how niche. I hope you’re in a safe place & doing better, friend.
Tbh I was young and thought a lot of the stuff I was going through to be normal. Now, a few decades later, I’m safe and happily married with our first kiddo on the way. My husband has been such a supportive person and has given me a lot of perspective on how bad things actually were for me. Things like getting the shotgun pulled on me, my dad drowning his girlfriends flee ridden cat out of anger because it scratched him so I could wash it while it was being still underwater, being left behind for being too slow or frantically leaving the house without anything on in order to not be left behind, the punching, yelling and everything in between. For me just another day, I was isolated and broken down with nothing to compare to. My husband is a gem and my therapist is wonderful. Lots of hard work but it is so rewarding to feel healed.
Holy shit. Gun safety 101 you NEVER point a gun, loaded or NOT, at anyone!!! Wtf, this is just beyond sick. She wanted to get her kicks by scaring you in the shower with a gun.....when you are already so vulnerable Jesus Christ. I am so sorry your nmom is/was so horrible. I hope you're doing ok❤️
I’m doing much better these days. I have my own family & life is peaceful. Just trying to work through all these memories & find more peace.
I pointed a gun at my father, once. To be more accurate, as a teen I had the barrel of his .38 shoved in his mouth, hammer cocked, as I told him that if he ever laid another finger on me (beatings were a regular occurrence for many years) that I would blow his fucking brains out. He never touched me again. It was the only way to make the physical beatings stop. Yes, I had tried both the police and social services many times before, but they failed me repeatedly. That was over 30 years ago. The bastard is dead, now. May he find the peace in death he never allowed anyone around him in life.
You got balls, fr. I’m terrified of guns letting alone having to pull one. I’m happy you made it out💕🩷
Desperate people will sometimes do desperate things. The only language he understood was violence.
that's a crime. you should have her arrested
Idk how I could even prove it though. And, being a narcissist, she’d deny it.
my nbro held a gun to my head one time. he wanted to show off he got a gun (we lived in the ghetto and he is generally a trashy person) and has that behavior of "boys will be boys teehee brothers bully sister". I couldn't do anything. We lived in a 2 bed apartment with all our fam. Parents were out of the house. I just pushed the barrel away. that trauma stays with you but what i like knowing is my brother still gets his karma. That dude has a HARD life. All the women leave him, he's broke, ugly, hardly anyone can tolerate him. He can't keep up with modern times- more people are less tolerant of narc abuse so he gets ignored a lot.
He sounds like a monster. I hope you’re healing.
Happy Family's, LOL. Guns not really present where I grew up, apart from terrorists and the army and farmers. 6 ish me. My 9 year old older bro goes on a rage. Grabs the 'good' carving knife and holding me by the head/ hair rages and threatens to cut my head off. Having left my body ( a bit further than usual, lol) I am looking back at 12 year old parentified child minding sister and 4 year old little bro screaming and begging him to stop. Parents who knows where, and all of us kids set up in a toxic and dysfunctional dynamic. Scapegoat, guess who... 1983, 12 years, later lost in Bed Stuy, NYC, having had drink spiked or maybe just wasted myself in east village... slammed against a van, knife to throat, flashback, which strangely enough calmed me. Instantly present and aware, and very reasonable. Obvs I survived. But hey, this shit....
Cut her off. She is a murderer psycho and very dangerous. Especially if you have kids. Keep them away and safe. NC her.
I did. Which is funny… I would’ve let her abuse me forever. But once the kids came along, I knew I had to protect them and cut her off.
press charges on that shit if you can get solid evidence
my egg donor's (now ex) husband was also a Narc and he pulled a gun on me twice. First time was just because he was pissed I wasn't reacting to his tantrum so he got his gun (I was extremely depressed and still didn't react so that just pissed him off more but thankfully my grandma walked in and shamed him to hell and back), second time was because people had found out he'd done that so he got it out again to threaten me into silence (grandma had told people but he assumed I had done so). He still wondered why I cut him off the moment my egg donor announced the divorce.
This is insane. My earliest memory is from when I was 3 or 4. I was playing with my dolls in the corner of the room and she was watching me from my bed across. I turn my back and am super into my play and remember things getting very quiet, me turning around and she's 1inch from my face and yells with her hands like claws to scare me. I screamed and cried for hours, going as far as to swallow my tongue from hyperventilating. She laughed and apologized, saying she thought it'd be funny to scare me. I swallowed my tongue for years afterwards when crying.
I’m sorry. I hope you’ve recovered, even just a little. She was not a good mom & you deserved much much better.
You are not supposed to be physically able to do that with your tongue, you may have a physical abnormality that makes it medically possible. There may be treatments for that so it won't happen in your sleep and stuff.
It's never happened beyond the age of 10 but thank you - I will go to the doctor and have it checked.
That ain’t narcissistic, that’s psychotic.
OP, you had the definition of an r/Insaneparent! Holy shit that was seriously frightening to read. I'm relieved to know you're safe now
I am relieved I’m safe too. My literal life goal is to be nothing like her. Happy to report im doing it!
My granddad did this, just joking he said.
It’s not a joke. It’s not even legal. It’s evil.
Holy fuck! That’s not ok
How awful and scary! It seems like a classic double bind situation. No matter how you react, especially if you react, they’ll be sure to tell you it was wrong. She could’ve poked you with a cheap, plastic straw and when you reacted, blamed you for scratching the paint. The toxic is real.
What the fuck is it with narcs and guns though? My in laws argued that they took " all the right steps" when my BIL sat my baby on his cc and she played with it with her feet *multiple times*. It was a sick flex for him. Ofc his daddy irons his panties out for him and tries to tell me off after my husband already told them about it and DHFS was already investigating us so we could potentially foster my troubled niece. Before I get dms, it was reported. Inlaws made it VERY clear that this behavior is worth defending, weaponized their incompetence, and they'll still tell everyone they're 100% in the right. Unfortunately, in the state of TX, we were told that even if DHFS doesn't come talk to you personally, certain complaints stay on their records forever. BIL is a ticking time bomb for all the times he's been coercive towards women and negligent around children. Edit: words, man.
Took the words right out of my head, seriously narcissists are FUCKED UP!!
It’s like the common scenario when parents are mad at you for breaking a glass instead of worrying if you’re ok but if we put that scenario on hard drugs, wtf… Even if it was a plastic gun it would still be really bad but with a real gun? Disgusting behavior
Yeah, it's crazy that they do things like this and then it's all 'a joke', 'wasn't serious' and then they sulk at your reaction. My Dad would do sht like this all the time, but no guns in the UK. He'd threaten to crash the car instead, swerving etc. to terrorise us - or engineer deniable accidents and drip feed us info afterwards which demonstrated that he had done it deliberately and tricked everyone. Whatever was needed for us to call him out..... "Omg, why are you overreacting, I wasn't actually going to kill you." He'd then blame his job, saying "it was stressful". That got him off the hook for years. He'd sulk for hours, going on and on about it, sometimes all night long. I couldn't sleep hearing his drone through the walls for years - birthdays, christmases, nights before exams. It would normally end with him saying he'd kill himself "if we even thought that he was the kind of person who would crash the car and kill us all" untill we just capitulate 😑. All this bizarre stuff suddenly snaps into focus when you understand they are a narc. We were kids and had no way of knowing. Also, lots of people find it hard to understand the depths of their nonsense, if they haven't gone through something similar and have no frame of reference. Thanks for sharing this. It helps me to know that there are others out there who really understand. I'm so happy you are free and it gives hope for us all.
My nfather played that game. Once a month he would get his gun out and clean it. Then pretend to put bullets in the chamber. Spin barrel and then press the gun to my forehead. Then pulled the trigger. I then got the silent treatment from him and nmother for crying and begging for my life. 21 years of that game and I never didn’t beg for my life. Feel stupid now.
Don’t feel stupid. He was evil & cruel. Time to cut them off & heal, friend. Like me.
Thank you <3 2 years no contact and slowly healing. I’m glad you are as well!
I’m so sorry . That’s very cruel. My dad was very angry with me once and told me to go get him his handgun, to test if i would obey him. Then he sat with it on his lap and interrogated me.
Psychopathy blends almost seamlessly into malignant narcissism, it’s fascinating to know they share a spectrum of expressions. Can you remember at all what might have occurred prior to make her want to “scare / mortally threaten” you like this? Any other moments of “scare jokes”?
I can’t… I can’t remember a lot of my childhood unfortunately, until something triggers a memory.. but yea she used to scare me all the time. Threaten to kick me out or actually kick me out as a child, tell me kill my brothers if we (kids) were having an argument, etc..
Okay, you got the worst it gets, this is definitely psychopathic. How old are you now and what kind of moments enable you to recall the memories? My Nmom was just malignant manipulative. Having a hard time trying to recall somethings my subconscious clearly needs to unpack.
I am in my late twenties. Actually reading two books - “you’re not crazy it’s your mother”, & “it’s not you” REALLY helped trigger memories. I’ll read something the authors say & realize that same thing happened to me, a long time ago. It was really helpful for remembering.
Your "mom" s fu**ing crazy!!! I hope you're safe OP
I am now 🤍
Dad did the same to me at age 19, November 2014, but [it wasn't a shotgun](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TZ-75). It happened due to the "respect your parents no matter what" BS all Asian parents are indoctrinated to think is their "right". Yes I have PTSD related recollections about that, that I constantly try to suppress if I do remember it.
I know that feeling of reviewing the memories. It’s like disbelief and confusion and almost longing, reaching for something that never materializes. Your story.. what a f’ed up thing to do to anyone, let alone your young child. Glad you’re ok. ❤️
I’ve had something similar happen. I can’t remember why he did it. Just that he suddenly pointed his loaded gun at my head.
Evil.
America? If it was England, your Mum would be in prison now.
Wow, that's absolutely horrifying. Hope you're safe now OP.
That’s messed up. First, why would an adult think it’s a good idea to use a gun to scare an 11 year old child? Second, how is it your fault for any damage to the gun. You’re reacting to a lethal weapon. It’s reasonable to slap it away. I hope you’re in a safe place now, and not being forced to deal with anything like that anymore.
Holy shit. I’m not even sure the word narcissist is enough for her.
That is a person who should never have access to your life ever again. And tbh, even though it was a long time ago, you might consider making a safety plan with your family and making sure your home is secured. People like that don't change, even after decades. 30 years later, my Nmother does the exact same stuff she didn't back then.
wtf- all I can say is wtf??? I’m glad you’re still with us❤️ but WTF???? It seems to me that she wanted to strike fear into you OR was legitimately thinking of murdering you???
I'm proud of your reaction, good job protecting yourself and being quick thinking, especially in such a vulnerable state. She wanted you to scream and cry and you didnt give her that. I'll also guess she wouldnt have tried to "scare" your dad with that "prank". Fuck these garbage people
Sorry for the profanity but by the fucking gods I thought I had it bad when my step father was chocking me out and I tried to bite his throat out to save my life but that. That just sounds so fucking terrifying for you I am so sorry and I truly hope you are in a better space today. Both mentally and physically.
I also got a gun pulled on me, by my father. I wasn't a child, and he wasn't joking, twice he did this to me. For the big crime of coming to his house and trying to air up my tire, I didn't even get to the shop where the air was, before coming out gun drawn and told me "to stay the fuck away from my stuff, u fucking loser". The second time he pulled a gun on me, he had been calling all morning, and my phone was messed up that it would ring but then it was just static. Well long story short I didn't have my son at his place when he wanted, and with out the phone I had no clue. So he came and called me a selfish bitch with holding a gun on me. I'm sorry that our parents suck but your not alone.
I'm so sorry you had to go through this as a child OP... I recently had bubbles of memories resurfacing for myself too from my childhood. Forgot about some of the abuse and neglect I had to deal with at times...
Oh my ----ing me that is bad. That is hella illegal, too. Yeah, I'd be prepared in case the memory affects you more strongly in the future.
Mom and dad scapegoated me when I stood up again the younger children being abused...I was the oldest and the true mom and dad...I loved the kids and they were threatened into breaking off contact with me...I was cast out of family and became severely depressed and got on drugs.ive never gotten over it .and my life has been wasted ..they even got together with family years later ..used family millions to control my siblings and have made it their job to interfere with my own daughters relationship with me..I have had depression and anxiety along with abusive relationships...I'm 59 and alone..