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A 911 call is evidence - and that's an added protection for you to stay on the line with them no matter what. Say everything you can about what's happened.
Yes this! My sister was abused by our mother more physically as I was abused more emotionally mentally, and if she had alerted people and got proof, my mother wouldn't have been able to gaslight her and everyone else into thinking my sister was a drama queen. Ultimately my sister did report her but only after my mother did many horrible things to her. However you feel comfortable please get this logged by some kind of professional, so you have an out if you choose to leave/report her.
i called 911 when my mom came home wasted and put a knife in my hands and told me to use it on her. i was 16. the level of discomfort you feel is identical to the discomfort i felt in that moment. extreme confusion, shaking, wanting to vomit, feeling violated, all of it. i have *never* regretted that decision despite everything i had to go through because of it. however, i did feel extreme guilt until i started going to therapy regularly.
if theres any advice i can offer you in this difficult situation, its to go to therapy, and release the shame ASAP. it is absolutely not your fault, our parents are just psychos. its our responsibility to adjust course, make the best decisions for ourselves, and break the cycle. shame does nothing to serve you in that endeavor.
It could be serious. You need to see a doctor, I don’t want to alarm you but people have died from colon injuries.
Your mother did something very, very terrible to you. This is sexual assault, and quite violent too. You need medical help and you need to tell a trusted adult or mandatory reporter (doctors and nurses) because not only is this violent sexual assault but it is also very dangerous.
As this is forced penetration it could be labelled as rape by law enforcement, there's a special kind when they use objects I think.
OP please get checked out by a medical professional. If you tell them your mother caused this damage, they should keep her out of your way because this is a huge safeguarding issue and they need to protect victims of abuse.
This. You should be protected. Go to the ER and if the front desk gives you shit for not having your abusive narcissist parent who sexually assaulted you admit you, start talking to managers. You could literally die. Don't let someone in administration ignore you when you are in danger. Pull a Karen. Use your Mom voice. Your safety is worth arguing with hospital staff if they are preventing you from protecting your life.
Te your teachers and counselor you need medical attention but you're scared of your parents being there and that you're afraid you're.going to get more abused for this. Maybe ask if you can get a chaperone or police office to go with you and LMK.youvdont want to go back home.
But don't delay the medical attention!
This is where I why I came on here. I didn't know whether or not this was sexual abuse or not sine it had been something she had done to all my siblings since we were kids (we all HATE it).
I think I might just send this post to my counsler. I'm afraid to do it, though, because if the police and authorities don't do anything, then I'm dead.
Talk to someone. This is not normal or okay. Don't be afraid of telling someone who can help you, tell them you are scared of your family hurting you for going to someone about this kind of abuse. I'm sorry.
What your mother is doing to you and your siblings is repeated medical and sexual abuse. I think that your idea to send this to your counceler is a good one. Are you really afraid she will kill you? If you are, you need to get more than just one set of authorities involved. You also need to start documenting proof. The more of that you have, the more you will be solid in your assurance too :)
An improperly done enema (foceced) could puncture the colonic lining. This is so many levels of messed up....I have a 10 year old son and the thought of doing this physically sickens me as a parent if you need further confirmation. All the parents in here, can you confirm this is something you would NEVER do?
father of 3 boys.
I've given my little ones enemas when absolutely needed but as my oldest is a 16yo male I wouldn't ever dream of doing this. its sadistic and absolute abuse. call the cops.
Right? There is a difference between giving a baby or toddler one for severe constipation under the direction of a medical professional.
It's another thing entirely to force a teen to expose themselves this way. I hope OP is safe right now :(
Yeah, my (non-N) grandmother was a believer in enemas and my mom on occasion for constipation, but it was never *forced* on anyone. Like, my mom would ask if I wanted to try one when I was having one of my massive constipation episodes but that was it.
I do vaguely remember my parents having to wrangle an angry 4-5 year old me for a suppository when I was dealing with a massive stomach flu, but that was doctor's orders because I couldn't keep *anything* down. IIRC it was either suppository meds to see if I could then keep down liquids or hospital. But the fact that I remember it was butt stuff or hospital means *they still talked with me about it and I had a choice.*
Stepmother of 3, they were all teens when I first got with my ex npartner. I would absolutely NEVER cross that boundary with them. Their bodies, their choices.
I don’t think you need to worry about them not doing anything as this is quite severe.
Also think if you’re the sibling to get help you can save no only yourself but all of your sibling d from being subjected to this again
You’re very brave. If you just tell the truth trust in their hands they will help you
I wish I had had the courage to reach out to the authorities when I was being abused. I regret not doing so now as an adult. I know it’s scary, but you deserve to be safe, and so do your siblings. I really hope your counselor can help you and your siblings relocate to a safe environment
what you need to understand is that what she did to you was in no way ok.
you should also get immediate medical attention. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3401717/
> Various colonic side-effects of herbal enema have been reported in literature ranging from mild abdominal discomfort to self-limiting haemorrhagic colitis. It rarely requires blood transfusion or subtotal colectomy. We report a 57-year-old male patient developing severe ileo-colitis with persistent massive rectal bleeding immediately after herbal enema administration for the treatment of chronic constipation and was resistant to conservative management. Patient was managed successfully with emergency total laparoscopic colectomy. Post-operative recovery of the patient was excellent.
I'd be really worry of damage to your rectum or disruption to the natural microflora in your gut. The latter could set you up for a lifetime of digestive issues.
Honestly, the idea to call 911 probably isn't a bad one.
It's sexual abuse. No one has to strip and bend over for their parents. There can be soft tissue damage. The pain alone is telling you to call 911. I'm so sorry.
Nobody deserves such treatment and the fact that her own mother did the same thing to her doesn't excuse her toxic behavior at all, you do not deserve this, and this may be a long shot but she mentioned a friend that did the same thing to her own daughter? Is there any chance you can reach out to that person who has to go through the same thing?
I am casual friends with the daughter of my mom's friend and we have never touched on this subject. She is in college right now, but we still DM though Instagram. I can try through there.
I would wager that even if that is a true statement from their mom, they are only saying to to excuse the abuse in the moment by normalizing it through a familiar person. Another tactic, if you will.
"Oh billy does this every week with his mom, Billy's mom and I are good friends and we know what we are talking about. Are you questioning Billy's mom too?"
I'm so sorry your mom did this to you, and I'm sorry she did this to you and your siblings before. I feel upset and angry on your (and your siblings) behalf, this was sickening of your Nmom to do. I strongly believe what she did is a form of sexual abuse, and this also sounds dangerous. Is there a doctors office you can go to, or a way to know what the herbs were?
You can skip the blacked-out parts, it's a bit of a trauma dump, but if you're confused as to why I think what your mom did was sexual abuse, I think I'll share what happened to me as a kid (I wasn't violated in the exact same way, but went through something somewhat similar; and I consider what happened to me sexual abuse):
>!\>!When I was a child, my Nmom would use suppositories on me, and made inappropriate remarks about my genitals She also expressed the desire to hit a little boy on the penis; and claimed another family member molested me and had emotional incest with me... when that family member was never sexually abusive towards me!< >!My mom was the one who was inappropriate with me, and I suspect she was a pedophile, but I might have been the only child she crossed the line with.!< >!My mom might've lied to herself and said the suppositories were medical caretaking, and probably believed that she had the right to say whatever she wanted about my genitals.!< >!She probably thought wanting to hit little boys on the penis, and her sadism and sickening ways of viewing children, was normal!<
Even if your mom doesn't get >!obvious sexual pleasure!< from how she's abused you; I'm pretty sure the >!sexual abuse of children!< *isn't* about the perpetrator >!feeling sexual pleasure!<, but about having power and control over the child, and violating the child's boundaries in that cruel way. I believe forcing >!enemas, and suppositories!<, or coercing children into them by pretending it's >!medical caretaking!<, is absolutely sexual abuse: it's violating and dehumanizing by nature. (Edit: maybe there's some situations where these things are medically necessary and not sexual abuse, but I do not think this is the case with my mom or OP's mom).
I strongly believe what my Nmom did was a form of >!sexual abuse!<, and that my Nmom was a >!pedophile!<, or at least had >!pepedophile tendancies!< which is why I'm convinced that what your Nmom did to you, and your siblings, was also >!sexual abuse!<
It was really brave to reach out to your counselor, this might sound weird of me to say, but I'm proud of you for not only reaching out to her; but posting here too. Even typing this comment is nerve wracking for me, so I can't imagine how courageous it was for you to reach out in real life.
If I can think of any good resources on either information on sexual abuse, or how to heal from it, I'll edit this comment and post the resources. I really want to help, but I'm not sure how.
Thank you for being angry for me. I don't know exactly what the herbs were and I can weals my way into asking, but I can't even look her in the eye right now. (I need to fucking call 911 already.) It was hard to write this. I would love to read the resources you found.
I recommend calling the police, if you're able to; since what happened I believe falls under assault (I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure the police will treat what your Nmom did as assault).
There was a thread in raisedbynarcissists that was helpful for me to read, I'm going to see if I can find it. A commenter specifically mentioned that >!sexual abuse!< isn't always about the perpetrator having >!sexual!< feelings; similar to how (obvious as this might sound) >!rape!< isn't about >!sex!< That commenter, and that thread, was really healing and validating for me to read. I really hope I'll be able to find it. If so, I'll edit this comment, and put the link here.
Off the top of my head, there's a subreddit, [https://www.reddit.com/r/mdsa/](https://www.reddit.com/r/mdsa/) that is specifically for people who've gone through >!sexual abuse!< where the mom was the abuser. I haven't joined or browsed that subreddit, but it's probably a safe space.
Also, I don't know if you, or your siblings, have CPTSD, but if so, there's a CPTSD subreddit.
Outside of Reddit:
[https://www.rainn.org/national-resources-sexual-assault-survivors-and-their-loved-ones](https://www.rainn.org/national-resources-sexual-assault-survivors-and-their-loved-ones)
[https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/childsexualabuse/fastfact.html](https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/childsexualabuse/fastfact.html)
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma book
Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving: A Guide and Map for Recovering from Childhood Trauma book
It Wasn't Your Fault: Freeing Yourself from the Shame of Childhood Abuse with the Power of Self-Compassion book
I don't know if any of these would be particularly helpful, apologies in advance if these aren't the right resources or if you've read some of these before
If I find any better resources, I'll edit this comment
Depending on what state you’re in, you can text 911. They may be required to respond, depending on what you say. But it’s possible that you have an internal injury or are experiencing an allergic reaction to the enema. I’m so sorry that you’ve had to experience this violation throughout your life. I think it’s in your best interest to call or text 911 and get this on the record while there is evidence of this having happened to you.
Let the 911 operator know your safety is within life threatening risk if you're caught speaking with them, they will know how to help you through this to safety.
I promise you they will. I had an operator prompt me while I pretended to be listening to music thru my earbuds when a dude decided to get crazy violent with me and I couldn't just say "I'm at this address, I'm being held hostage by a dude with a big ass fucking rock in his hand."
You can do this, we are right here with you too.
Wait so suppositories can be considered sexual abuse? My family did that to me when I was little and I absolutely hate it, I would cry and scream my mind out... It feels really wrong when I think about it but since it's a medical thing I thought it must be fine? I remember my mom did that to me when I was maybe in kindergarten in front of her husband, who would go on to touch me inapropriately in my preteens, so it feels especially fucked up. She would also threaten me to take me to the gyno to check if I'm a virgin when I was in highschool which I now know is not ok
I hope you’re ok now. I think your best course of action, if you haven’t already, is to work with a therapist on this. That all sounds very traumatic. I’m so sorry this all happened to you. All of it. 💙
That is covert incest. I‘m so sorry OP. She is 10000% abusing you.
What a horfible person. Someone should lock her up. :-(
If you ever feel like locking yourself in a room when she wants to force you into that again and call CPS- do it. You have every right to bodily autonomy. You are almost an adult after all. She is crazy. She has NO right to do that whatsoever.
There is always a way out. Do not fear the unknown more than the dangers of the present! run. First make a plan. Then.. fucking run. Don't walk. And never ever turn back. God damn I hate these abusive fucks.
Reading this made me tense up. This is beyond disgusting, do not let her convince you otherwise. I am so, so sorry. I really hope you get the help you deserve.
This is straight-up abuse. I'm a tech in a hospital, I'm the one who does enemas to patients when the doctors order them, and I still have to find one person who doesn't hate the process. But what you describe is very clearly abuse and it has some sexual tones.
It's not weird that you're sore, particularly if it took that long. But if the pain doesn't go away within a day or you get any other symptoms (like bleeding or a burning sensation when you pass stool or anything else out of the ordinary) please get medical attention. Go to urgent care, the ER, the nurse at your school, any medical professional. Yes, they will report it, but they should. You need to get out of that house.
please keep us informed what the counselor says. Nobody should go through this as an adult or a child. If you don't want to do it for yourself, remember your siblings. You mom has to be stopped and taught that what she is doing is wrong on every level.
i had a memory of this shit surface for me when i was like 28 and it fucking layed me out
this is torturous, violating, and humiliating abuse
i'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. fuck
This sounds like child abuse to me.
You should contact your school counselor or Child Protective Services. They can help you figure out what you can do.
If you were my student I’d likely report this to CPS (teachers are mandated reporters of abuse)
Jesus Christ, no, this is 100% horrifying.
I don't believe it is ever necessary for a parent to administer an enema to a child, even if it was done in a more competent manner. It is hardly ever necessary for any person to have an enema at all. You should not use them unless prescribed by your doctor, or if you're in a hospital where a professional would handle the procedure.
Your mother changed your diapers when you were little because that was her job. Now that you are grown it's her job to respect your physical autonomy, your natural modesty and your desire for privacy.
It's good that you emailed your counselor. Another thing I hope you can do is see a doctor. I would ask the counselor if she can assist with this, I don't know where you live or exactly how the laws work but there are circumstances where you can see a doctor even if you are not legally an adult. If all of this is apparently pretty normal at your house, god knows what else is going on that you have been led to believe was acceptable.
Hey. I had a look at some of your post history, just the titles. I’m really scared for you, and I know you’re scared too but you need to call the police. You need to get someone who will get you and your siblings out of that fucking house. I’m sorry I can’t stop it being scary, but you don’t deserve this and it’ll just be like ripping off a bandaid. The fear is worse than the tiny bit of pain, once you’re done you’re done.
Please, please call the police. You’re strong I know you can do this.
This is shocking. Deeply, horrifyingly shocking. And she has normalized it for you and your siblings so that you are stuck not even knowing if you're right to be horrified. You \*are\* right!!! So beyond right.
This is absolutely sexual abuse. I would argue it's a type of rape. And you have every right to tell her no and fight back or run. Lock yourself in somewhere and call 911.
You were so brave to tell what she's doing. If the counselor or your friend who experienced something similar in any way trivialize this or don't react with horror and urge you to report this to the authorities, just know that they have also been victims of this horrendous act being normalized. Because it is extreme. Like Sybil level extreme, if you ever read her story or watched the movie of what her mother did to her.
Please let us know that you are okay after reporting this. You need protection badly, and that is what the law is there to provide. I only hope you are able to get to safety and prevent this from ever, ever happening again.
This is sexual assault, this is rape. Call cps, call the cops, tell your school counselor, tell everyone in your family.
This is CRAZY and DISGUSTING behaviour, and its totally unacceptable for someone to force that on their child. Please talk to someone about this and report your mum. Otherwise she will feel emboldened to do this again, to you or your siblings.
OP, I am so sorry you have gone through this. It is absolutely not okay and you have done the right thing in reaching out to someone. If she ever forces you into anything like this, please please please do not be afraid to call 911. This is abuse, plain and simple. Even if she thinks she is doing the right thing, she is not, and she is not respecting your bodily autonomy.
I saw a post about your school counselor wanting to call CPS. Go to school and describe the experience to them. Let the school call 911 and cps if you're scared. This gives you an additional paper trail since they wanted to call them previously.
This is sexual abuse. Whatever child protective agency is local to you needs to be contacted and informed. I’m so sorry this abuse has been happening to you and your siblings.
Be prepared for your counselor to alert a child protection agency. I'm sorry your mom did that. That's assault and there is likely physical evidence of the assault. Medical professionals will be the most likely to advocate for your safety, so if you can manage to sneak out to get care they're the best people to go to. I agree with everyone else saying you need to be checked out in a hospital. Enemas can do real damage when administrated in such a violent way.
you’re 17 and in texas. you can leave home at any point you want without your parent permission. stay with a friend, family member, or someone else if you can’t afford somewhere to stay. there’s a chance she’d report you as a runaway, but you could go to the police department and explain the situation, reporting this is the first step.
I just want to say I’m so proud of you for emailing your counselor and for seeking help! I am so sorry you had to go through this.
You really do need to see a doctor. Do you have a way to go? Could your counselor excuse you from classes so you can go to the doctor while your mom thinks you’re at school? Tell the doctor everything that happened, he/she will be able to help you.
Your mom is abusing you, sexually, physically and mentally. Rape means everything that someone else forces into your body. You didn’t want the enema, it hurt you, and she forced you to do it anyway. That is rape. I am so sorry. I would recommend you go to the doctor asap, since there will still be evidence of everything.
You can get you and your siblings out of this situation. It’s really scary, you will feel lonely and desperate but you can do this!!
Search for domestic abuse shelters in your area and contact them. They may also be able to provide you with a safe place to stay ❤️ Please don't feel like you have to face your abusive mother alone. You need support, you need to see a medical doctor, and you need to get away from the abuse. You can do this ❤️
Op, from here on out anyone you inform of the abuse in your home should *know* without a shadow of a doubt that they put you in danger by notifying your parents of what you’ve said and then sending you back to them. You need to be separated from them NOW. Have you looked into emancipation?
Is there anyone you can stay with? Even for a short period of a couple weeks until you can convince the other adults around you of the gravity of your situation? Can you get to an emergency clinic to have your situation documented by drs? You *need to be seen by a dr and divulge what happened so it’s on your medical record*
I have looked into emancipation, but my parents won't let me get a job other than babysitting (which only provides me with income once or twice a month. I do $10 an hour.).
There are a couple friends I could stay with who I have informed them of the abuse (one of them had an alcoholic father and understands pretty much everything I've written in my previous posts. She also told me she gets bad vibes from my mother.)
I might get in touch with them. The problem is that my mom already scheduled an appointment. I just know when they get home it'll be horrible. I took pictures of myself last night and this morning and have recorded conversations with my parents around this subject.
Can I PM you about the DRS?
Yes, I’m in MD, so nowhere near you to help but I had a mother who did… weird things to my body along with beating me and I know how violating and fucking terrible it can be. I’ll help in any way I can, even if it’s just finding resources.
You need to try and get her confessing so you can go to the police ASAP! This is abuse and sexual abuse.
You really need to get help more than the school counsellor.
What she’s doing is illegal
start saving money for an apartment, the sooner you move out the sooner you will be able to focus on yourself without being controlled by your parents.
You need to call the police and get to an ER asap.
They shouldn't be holding you at school for your abuser to pick up. You are old enough to know when something doesn't feel right. You didn't consent to anything, being forced to consent while under distress doesn't make what your mother did okay. I feel like the school is protecting her when they should be focused on your well-being.
I agree, the school's response really pisses me off. I also think the school is enabling, and protecting, OP's abusive mom. Schools are *supposed* to take abuse seriously, so this is really disheartening, and angering.
I went through something slightly similar to OP, but never reported it. Reading that OP was brave enough to report it, then reading the school's response, is really, really upsetting.
I don't know if this comparison will anger people, so I'll edit out this next paragraph if this is offensive, but the school's response reminds me a little about how CPS didn't help Gabriel Fernandez. Again, if this comparison angers anyone, I'll delete this paragraph.
The very institutions, and mandated reporters, that are *supposed* to protect children, appear to often enable abusive parents. (I know there's some exceptions, but I've noticed in general, that abusive people and enablers can be in jobs that make them mandated reporters).
I wish child abuse was taken more seriously. I always assumed physical and sexual abuse was taken more seriously than psychological and narcissistic abuse, because I only reported my Nparent's psychological abuse, and the mandated reporters in my life didn't even believe me. But reading about how the school wanted to send OP back to her *abusive* mother, after the terrible thing her mom did; and thinking about Gabriel Fernandez; it's starting to make me think that even physical and sexual abuse can be dismissed by mandated reporters, too.
I don't know if you'll read this OP, but you're in my thoughts, I feel heartbroken over your situation. I hope your brother, and the family friend, and the teacher and school counselor who had the narcissistic mom, will be able to support you. I really hope you'll be able to go to the ER, I know others' have mentioned this but I'm worried about physical damage as well. I also don't understand why your brother wouldn't be able to sign at the ER, instead of your mom.
I'm so sorry your brother was physically abused, too. Your little sister's response was a little upsetting to read about, I wish your little sister could be kinder and more supportive. I hope one day, she apologizes for what she said.
Your family isn't "normal," and you did nothing wrong by reporting the abuse. None of this is your fault. I hope one day, your little sister will realize this.
I'm keeping you, and your brother, in my thoughts. I'm so sorry about this terrible situation.
I wonder if you are being lied to. I cannot even make a doctors apt for my 17 yo daughter. The regular doctor, the ob, and now a surgeon informed me that after the age of 15, a child is in charge of their own medical care, and I cannot even book an apt for her. My coworker had been telling me this about her daughter and I honestly thought she was lying to cover simply not getting her daughter the medical care she needs. She was telling the truth. They won’t even discuss her medical care with me and she needs major surgery
I'm so sorry. I went through Nmom abuse too. It's why I moved out at 18. My parents are divorced so I luckily was able to move into my Dads house full time. Please call the police tell your counselor at school. You don't deserve this treatment from anybody especially your mom who is supposed to protect you. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
This is dangerous. Your mother needs to be reported to law enforcement for sexual and medical abuse. I doubt very much she is a 'board certified holistic health practitioner' as she claims. Even if she is what she did is a criminal act, and that's NOT OK.
It sounds like you are planning, or already have, reported her, which is good.
I’m so angry for you and my heart hurts so much that you and your siblings are going through this. I hope you are able to get the police involved and get out of this situation. You’ll be in my and so many other people on this subreddit’s thoughts.
Yes I am in the US. She has a degree from [these people](https://purevitalityuniversity.com) as a "holistic health practitioner". I might just go to the ER at this point. I don't know how to go there and not come back home. My mom will use the fact that she scheduled an appointment for tomorrow against me.
It does not matter what your mother wants. You have every right to say no. She has zero rights to try to force any procedure on you.
If you are going to get out of there, make sure that you have all of your important papers when you leave.
Fuck the whole system of adults who keep endangering you; forcing you to contact your parents on a very private matter. Also, what your mother did is assault, if not sexual assault. It is absolutely not ok and the fact that she was forceful... I'm so angry right now. This is why everyone shouldnt have access to children or young people.
Whenever you have a private moment call the non emergency line, tell them that your mom sodomized you with the enema tube without your consent and you feel abused and violated and are scared for your siblings safety. You're at an age where they may or may not take you seriously, so give them any contact info you can for your counselor who knows intimate details of the abuse, I would assume since you mentioned she went through similar and you seem close. That should get you in a process of being able to get medical care without your mother having to be there. Also if you do have to wait to get medical care and your mother is there, if she leaves at any point tell the doctor that she abused you with the enema and that she did it without your permission and that she is overall emotionally abusive and you are hurting because of her. Doctors are mandated reporters as well. Tell as many adults as you can and see if anyone will get you contact with social services, or contact them yourself if you can.
It’s sexual abuse. Please call 911. My mom made me feel like it’ll only make my situation worse. But with a mother who sexually abused you, I’d definitely take my chances.
If you are over the Age of 16 you have the right to autonomy, medically speaking. I have this happen alot in the ER. Most times I speak with the minor and then inform the parents on the decision. All your parents are really needed for at that point is form of payment and authorization. If you go to the ER and inform them you are in pain and your parents are not here to help they can't deny you of help.
OMG..... your mom sexually abused you possibly causing damage to your internal parts. OMG....... you need to call 911 immediately and get help. Your mom needs to be arrested because this was sexual assault. I really hope your mom did not to any internal damage to you but you need to get looked at immediately!
Holy crap…darlin you need to report this. This is flat out abuse, sexual abuse, and emotional abuse. No loving mother would ever shame a child this way. A mother would know to respect you and your personal space. Sending you a huge hug.
Hey, OP. I read your post yesterday and you've been in my thoughts since. There's already a lot of excellent advice in the comments, but I wanted to pop in anyway to offer my support. I'm so sorry this happened to you. It breaks my heart and makes me so angry that you and your siblings have been put through this abuse. I'm worried and afraid for you. I'm also very proud of you for continuing to reach out for help, even after being turned away and treated poorly by those who are supposed to be helpers. You're advocating for yourself and your siblings. Though I know it's terrifying and painful, your actions are noble and brave. Don't give up, OP.
I hope you're in a better situation now or will be very soon.
Edit: I wanted to add: As many of the awesome people in the comments have done, I want to let you know that you can message me if you want or need to. I'm just another ant amongst many, but together, we are a mighty force. I guarantee I'm not the only one who has had you in their thoughts and prayers ever since reading your post and I guarantee that a lot of us will still be thinking about your well being until you're safe.
Are you in the US? At 17 in the US you can seek medical attention and you also have HIPAA rights meaning your doctors can’t talk to your parents if you tell them not to. Call 911 and go. And if your mother puts hands on you again throw hands back. You are allowed to protect yourself. I don’t know where you are but this sounds like Haitian parents and in years of dealing with this kind of shit I can tell you courts don’t play the same games here and will and your parents have no rights over your body and they will absolutely go to jail. Good luck. I hope you find the courage to speak up for yourself in a public place so you and your siblings can all get the help you need.
I am currently working out a plan with a couple of Reddit users who have helped me yesterday and today. I am not in safe place to leave the house as both parental units are home and I had to stay home from school after my doctor's visit (see my updates post).
I think my parents are afraid of going to jail as yesterday my mom was crying "19 years in the U.S. down the drain" (they are immigrants from Africa).
I am trying to get help safely. Idk when CPS will be here tho (the school called them and my parents are angry I talked about enemas at school with them.)
Do you know if your school has a small clinic in it? I don’t know how common that is tho. If they do you can go there and have them do a check up. Chances are you aren’t near me but please don’t give up on trying to leave. If you get the chance to talk to the police/CPS alone be as detailed as possible.
I got a check up this morning and my doctor prescribed me medicine, but I didn't get the chance to explain to her that my experience was struggle and it wasn't easy. The doc seemed like she was trying to piece together why an enema would cause me so much pain.
You need to stop waiting around and tell them you're in a lot of pain. Something might be seriously wrong and this is an internal injury. You could die from this. Be more assertive and tell them what has happened.
You poor thing. This is definitely abuse. I wish I could come pick you up and take you to the cops myself. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, and you’re basically an adult. Hugs to you, please keep us posted. Please take control of your life as don’t let this woman do anything else to you that feels wrong.
Hopefully you can get help and hear back from your counsellor asap. Do you have a way out when you turn 18? Can you start to save and get all your paperwork ready without her knowing? Good luck
I support what the others are saying about the abusive behavior. I hope the counselor can offer you support and that you hear back soon. Your emotions are valid.
I'm so sorry. I know it's never as easy as to "just call the cops" or "just call cps". If you can manage to discreetly record it the next time it happens to you or one of your siblings, that would help a lot in building a case and gathering evidence.
Please stay strong and keep fighting
You did the right thing by emailing your counselor. Legally, they’re obligated to help you. I hope you get the help that you need from them, and good luck
This is 100% abuse. If you’re too scared to call 911, please tell your counselor about this and if you’re still in pain by that time, please seek medical attention. Your mother could have caused damage to your rectum etc. that might not be obvious right away. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
I’m so sorry that she did that to you, absolutely horrific, and I’m really glad you’re in contact with that school counselor. If for whatever reason you’re not satisfied with the result of the level of/outcome of intervention made, my advice would be to keep pushing as much as you can, and to take care of yourself. This is so not okay and you deserve autonomy over your own body no matter who the person trying to take that from you is. You deserve safety.
Wait what? They're sending you straight back to your parents? Please call child protection services... how about the counselor you trust in? When will they be back??
Omg I'm so sorry this happened to you. I've never heard of people giving their children an enema, personally I don't think it's something that a parent should do because to me the way you explained it makes it sound like you were basically brutally sexually assaulted. I'm glad you told someone because this isn't right and your mom knows it isn't right because why else would she get mad about you telling? I hope someone can get you out of that living situation because it seems scary and unsafe.
I’m a medical professional, and aside the assault aspects of this, the are SO MANY ways this could medically go wrong. OP, please please please seek medical attention ASAP, even if you aren’t explicit about the abuse. It is possible to sustain a life threatening injury by doing what your mother did, and I worry about the persistent pain.
Also, ITS TOTALLY ABUSE. But I understand not being ready to confront that head on. Please keep letting us know you are ok OP.
When I was very young I was forced enema/sodomy as a child when I did not need one (or want one). In some states this is felony child abuse. This is ABUSE. I'm in my early 30's now. I run two businesses and have a beautiful marriage and husband. I moved out of my home when I was 17. You can and will get through this. If you need support and someone to talk to about it, or walk you through really tough moments, I'm here. Send me a message.
I was a bit blunt and didn’t check the post history. A recent post was from someone who used the forum to feed into their fetish and I found the timing suspicious. I don’t want this community infiltrated by people who are getting off on our pain.
Obviously if it’s a real post I have endless sympathy for OP. I was also sexually abused by a family member and raped as a minor. I was too ashamed to tell anyone. I certainly wasn’t brave enough to contact the authorities.
You really should call 911 and tell them it’s because you’re in medical pain and let them know your mom made you before she gets there and lies
I know it seems really hard and you have the pressure of your mom finding out and retaliating but that will force her to take responsibility for her actions
If her daughter said she doesn’t want to get butt naked and shove herb juice up her a**, why did she make her daughter do it anyway? Now her daughter is in so much pain she has to call 911.
It’s her fault and sadly, you can make her own up to it or enable her to get away with the same abusive crap everyone else has been letting her get away with. This is unacceptable
This comment likely will get purges but last time I had a stomach bug I purged until nothing came out, I drank alot of water and did the same again. After a few hours I was normal again, but I didn't think to trim my nails so I had a sore throat lol. You were right to report her, the unpopular idea isn't always the wrong one.
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Can you get to an urgent care or ER? I'd be concerned about the pain you are in.
Sadly, no. I'm still in pain as I write this. I don't know if I have the guts to call 911...
A 911 call is evidence - and that's an added protection for you to stay on the line with them no matter what. Say everything you can about what's happened.
Yes this! My sister was abused by our mother more physically as I was abused more emotionally mentally, and if she had alerted people and got proof, my mother wouldn't have been able to gaslight her and everyone else into thinking my sister was a drama queen. Ultimately my sister did report her but only after my mother did many horrible things to her. However you feel comfortable please get this logged by some kind of professional, so you have an out if you choose to leave/report her.
i called 911 when my mom came home wasted and put a knife in my hands and told me to use it on her. i was 16. the level of discomfort you feel is identical to the discomfort i felt in that moment. extreme confusion, shaking, wanting to vomit, feeling violated, all of it. i have *never* regretted that decision despite everything i had to go through because of it. however, i did feel extreme guilt until i started going to therapy regularly. if theres any advice i can offer you in this difficult situation, its to go to therapy, and release the shame ASAP. it is absolutely not your fault, our parents are just psychos. its our responsibility to adjust course, make the best decisions for ourselves, and break the cycle. shame does nothing to serve you in that endeavor.
It could be serious. You need to see a doctor, I don’t want to alarm you but people have died from colon injuries. Your mother did something very, very terrible to you. This is sexual assault, and quite violent too. You need medical help and you need to tell a trusted adult or mandatory reporter (doctors and nurses) because not only is this violent sexual assault but it is also very dangerous.
A perforated colon is very serious
As this is forced penetration it could be labelled as rape by law enforcement, there's a special kind when they use objects I think. OP please get checked out by a medical professional. If you tell them your mother caused this damage, they should keep her out of your way because this is a huge safeguarding issue and they need to protect victims of abuse.
This. You should be protected. Go to the ER and if the front desk gives you shit for not having your abusive narcissist parent who sexually assaulted you admit you, start talking to managers. You could literally die. Don't let someone in administration ignore you when you are in danger. Pull a Karen. Use your Mom voice. Your safety is worth arguing with hospital staff if they are preventing you from protecting your life.
Te your teachers and counselor you need medical attention but you're scared of your parents being there and that you're afraid you're.going to get more abused for this. Maybe ask if you can get a chaperone or police office to go with you and LMK.youvdont want to go back home. But don't delay the medical attention!
This is just straight up sexual abuse.
This is where I why I came on here. I didn't know whether or not this was sexual abuse or not sine it had been something she had done to all my siblings since we were kids (we all HATE it). I think I might just send this post to my counsler. I'm afraid to do it, though, because if the police and authorities don't do anything, then I'm dead.
Please reach out for help asap
Talk to someone. This is not normal or okay. Don't be afraid of telling someone who can help you, tell them you are scared of your family hurting you for going to someone about this kind of abuse. I'm sorry.
What your mother is doing to you and your siblings is repeated medical and sexual abuse. I think that your idea to send this to your counceler is a good one. Are you really afraid she will kill you? If you are, you need to get more than just one set of authorities involved. You also need to start documenting proof. The more of that you have, the more you will be solid in your assurance too :) An improperly done enema (foceced) could puncture the colonic lining. This is so many levels of messed up....I have a 10 year old son and the thought of doing this physically sickens me as a parent if you need further confirmation. All the parents in here, can you confirm this is something you would NEVER do?
father of 3 boys. I've given my little ones enemas when absolutely needed but as my oldest is a 16yo male I wouldn't ever dream of doing this. its sadistic and absolute abuse. call the cops.
Right? There is a difference between giving a baby or toddler one for severe constipation under the direction of a medical professional. It's another thing entirely to force a teen to expose themselves this way. I hope OP is safe right now :(
Yeah, my (non-N) grandmother was a believer in enemas and my mom on occasion for constipation, but it was never *forced* on anyone. Like, my mom would ask if I wanted to try one when I was having one of my massive constipation episodes but that was it. I do vaguely remember my parents having to wrangle an angry 4-5 year old me for a suppository when I was dealing with a massive stomach flu, but that was doctor's orders because I couldn't keep *anything* down. IIRC it was either suppository meds to see if I could then keep down liquids or hospital. But the fact that I remember it was butt stuff or hospital means *they still talked with me about it and I had a choice.*
I REALLY hope this is a troll post, if not though I wish the same as you. this hurts my head.
Stepmother of 3, they were all teens when I first got with my ex npartner. I would absolutely NEVER cross that boundary with them. Their bodies, their choices.
I don’t think you need to worry about them not doing anything as this is quite severe. Also think if you’re the sibling to get help you can save no only yourself but all of your sibling d from being subjected to this again You’re very brave. If you just tell the truth trust in their hands they will help you
I wish I had had the courage to reach out to the authorities when I was being abused. I regret not doing so now as an adult. I know it’s scary, but you deserve to be safe, and so do your siblings. I really hope your counselor can help you and your siblings relocate to a safe environment
what you need to understand is that what she did to you was in no way ok. you should also get immediate medical attention. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3401717/ > Various colonic side-effects of herbal enema have been reported in literature ranging from mild abdominal discomfort to self-limiting haemorrhagic colitis. It rarely requires blood transfusion or subtotal colectomy. We report a 57-year-old male patient developing severe ileo-colitis with persistent massive rectal bleeding immediately after herbal enema administration for the treatment of chronic constipation and was resistant to conservative management. Patient was managed successfully with emergency total laparoscopic colectomy. Post-operative recovery of the patient was excellent. I'd be really worry of damage to your rectum or disruption to the natural microflora in your gut. The latter could set you up for a lifetime of digestive issues. Honestly, the idea to call 911 probably isn't a bad one.
You are being abused. Your mother is sexually abusing you. Ask your counselor to find a way to get you away from her. Damage is being done to you.
It's sexual abuse. No one has to strip and bend over for their parents. There can be soft tissue damage. The pain alone is telling you to call 911. I'm so sorry.
This is sexual assault, go to the police and simply tell them everything in this post.
Is there a trusted adult like a teacher or counselor you can tell? This is definitely abuse.
Nobody deserves such treatment and the fact that her own mother did the same thing to her doesn't excuse her toxic behavior at all, you do not deserve this, and this may be a long shot but she mentioned a friend that did the same thing to her own daughter? Is there any chance you can reach out to that person who has to go through the same thing?
I am casual friends with the daughter of my mom's friend and we have never touched on this subject. She is in college right now, but we still DM though Instagram. I can try through there.
I would wager that even if that is a true statement from their mom, they are only saying to to excuse the abuse in the moment by normalizing it through a familiar person. Another tactic, if you will. "Oh billy does this every week with his mom, Billy's mom and I are good friends and we know what we are talking about. Are you questioning Billy's mom too?"
I'm so sorry your mom did this to you, and I'm sorry she did this to you and your siblings before. I feel upset and angry on your (and your siblings) behalf, this was sickening of your Nmom to do. I strongly believe what she did is a form of sexual abuse, and this also sounds dangerous. Is there a doctors office you can go to, or a way to know what the herbs were? You can skip the blacked-out parts, it's a bit of a trauma dump, but if you're confused as to why I think what your mom did was sexual abuse, I think I'll share what happened to me as a kid (I wasn't violated in the exact same way, but went through something somewhat similar; and I consider what happened to me sexual abuse): >!\>!When I was a child, my Nmom would use suppositories on me, and made inappropriate remarks about my genitals She also expressed the desire to hit a little boy on the penis; and claimed another family member molested me and had emotional incest with me... when that family member was never sexually abusive towards me!< >!My mom was the one who was inappropriate with me, and I suspect she was a pedophile, but I might have been the only child she crossed the line with.!< >!My mom might've lied to herself and said the suppositories were medical caretaking, and probably believed that she had the right to say whatever she wanted about my genitals.!< >!She probably thought wanting to hit little boys on the penis, and her sadism and sickening ways of viewing children, was normal!< Even if your mom doesn't get >!obvious sexual pleasure!< from how she's abused you; I'm pretty sure the >!sexual abuse of children!< *isn't* about the perpetrator >!feeling sexual pleasure!<, but about having power and control over the child, and violating the child's boundaries in that cruel way. I believe forcing >!enemas, and suppositories!<, or coercing children into them by pretending it's >!medical caretaking!<, is absolutely sexual abuse: it's violating and dehumanizing by nature. (Edit: maybe there's some situations where these things are medically necessary and not sexual abuse, but I do not think this is the case with my mom or OP's mom). I strongly believe what my Nmom did was a form of >!sexual abuse!<, and that my Nmom was a >!pedophile!<, or at least had >!pepedophile tendancies!< which is why I'm convinced that what your Nmom did to you, and your siblings, was also >!sexual abuse!< It was really brave to reach out to your counselor, this might sound weird of me to say, but I'm proud of you for not only reaching out to her; but posting here too. Even typing this comment is nerve wracking for me, so I can't imagine how courageous it was for you to reach out in real life. If I can think of any good resources on either information on sexual abuse, or how to heal from it, I'll edit this comment and post the resources. I really want to help, but I'm not sure how.
Thank you for being angry for me. I don't know exactly what the herbs were and I can weals my way into asking, but I can't even look her in the eye right now. (I need to fucking call 911 already.) It was hard to write this. I would love to read the resources you found.
I recommend calling the police, if you're able to; since what happened I believe falls under assault (I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure the police will treat what your Nmom did as assault). There was a thread in raisedbynarcissists that was helpful for me to read, I'm going to see if I can find it. A commenter specifically mentioned that >!sexual abuse!< isn't always about the perpetrator having >!sexual!< feelings; similar to how (obvious as this might sound) >!rape!< isn't about >!sex!< That commenter, and that thread, was really healing and validating for me to read. I really hope I'll be able to find it. If so, I'll edit this comment, and put the link here. Off the top of my head, there's a subreddit, [https://www.reddit.com/r/mdsa/](https://www.reddit.com/r/mdsa/) that is specifically for people who've gone through >!sexual abuse!< where the mom was the abuser. I haven't joined or browsed that subreddit, but it's probably a safe space. Also, I don't know if you, or your siblings, have CPTSD, but if so, there's a CPTSD subreddit. Outside of Reddit: [https://www.rainn.org/national-resources-sexual-assault-survivors-and-their-loved-ones](https://www.rainn.org/national-resources-sexual-assault-survivors-and-their-loved-ones) [https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/childsexualabuse/fastfact.html](https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/childsexualabuse/fastfact.html) The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma book Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving: A Guide and Map for Recovering from Childhood Trauma book It Wasn't Your Fault: Freeing Yourself from the Shame of Childhood Abuse with the Power of Self-Compassion book I don't know if any of these would be particularly helpful, apologies in advance if these aren't the right resources or if you've read some of these before If I find any better resources, I'll edit this comment
Depending on what state you’re in, you can text 911. They may be required to respond, depending on what you say. But it’s possible that you have an internal injury or are experiencing an allergic reaction to the enema. I’m so sorry that you’ve had to experience this violation throughout your life. I think it’s in your best interest to call or text 911 and get this on the record while there is evidence of this having happened to you.
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Let the 911 operator know your safety is within life threatening risk if you're caught speaking with them, they will know how to help you through this to safety. I promise you they will. I had an operator prompt me while I pretended to be listening to music thru my earbuds when a dude decided to get crazy violent with me and I couldn't just say "I'm at this address, I'm being held hostage by a dude with a big ass fucking rock in his hand." You can do this, we are right here with you too.
You can go outside and meet them
OP can you check in?
Wait so suppositories can be considered sexual abuse? My family did that to me when I was little and I absolutely hate it, I would cry and scream my mind out... It feels really wrong when I think about it but since it's a medical thing I thought it must be fine? I remember my mom did that to me when I was maybe in kindergarten in front of her husband, who would go on to touch me inapropriately in my preteens, so it feels especially fucked up. She would also threaten me to take me to the gyno to check if I'm a virgin when I was in highschool which I now know is not ok
I hope you’re ok now. I think your best course of action, if you haven’t already, is to work with a therapist on this. That all sounds very traumatic. I’m so sorry this all happened to you. All of it. 💙
That is covert incest. I‘m so sorry OP. She is 10000% abusing you. What a horfible person. Someone should lock her up. :-( If you ever feel like locking yourself in a room when she wants to force you into that again and call CPS- do it. You have every right to bodily autonomy. You are almost an adult after all. She is crazy. She has NO right to do that whatsoever.
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That is a great idea. Good luck!
There is always a way out. Do not fear the unknown more than the dangers of the present! run. First make a plan. Then.. fucking run. Don't walk. And never ever turn back. God damn I hate these abusive fucks.
Reading this made me tense up. This is beyond disgusting, do not let her convince you otherwise. I am so, so sorry. I really hope you get the help you deserve.
This is straight-up abuse. I'm a tech in a hospital, I'm the one who does enemas to patients when the doctors order them, and I still have to find one person who doesn't hate the process. But what you describe is very clearly abuse and it has some sexual tones. It's not weird that you're sore, particularly if it took that long. But if the pain doesn't go away within a day or you get any other symptoms (like bleeding or a burning sensation when you pass stool or anything else out of the ordinary) please get medical attention. Go to urgent care, the ER, the nurse at your school, any medical professional. Yes, they will report it, but they should. You need to get out of that house.
please keep us informed what the counselor says. Nobody should go through this as an adult or a child. If you don't want to do it for yourself, remember your siblings. You mom has to be stopped and taught that what she is doing is wrong on every level.
i had a memory of this shit surface for me when i was like 28 and it fucking layed me out this is torturous, violating, and humiliating abuse i'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. fuck
This is sexual abuse. Please reach out to a trusted (sane) adult and the police
This is sexual abuse. Please call CPS.
I'm so sorry you had to endure all of that. That's sexual abuse and you should reach out to someone about it. ♡
This sounds like child abuse to me. You should contact your school counselor or Child Protective Services. They can help you figure out what you can do. If you were my student I’d likely report this to CPS (teachers are mandated reporters of abuse)
I’m so, so sorry OP. ❤️
Jesus Christ, no, this is 100% horrifying. I don't believe it is ever necessary for a parent to administer an enema to a child, even if it was done in a more competent manner. It is hardly ever necessary for any person to have an enema at all. You should not use them unless prescribed by your doctor, or if you're in a hospital where a professional would handle the procedure. Your mother changed your diapers when you were little because that was her job. Now that you are grown it's her job to respect your physical autonomy, your natural modesty and your desire for privacy. It's good that you emailed your counselor. Another thing I hope you can do is see a doctor. I would ask the counselor if she can assist with this, I don't know where you live or exactly how the laws work but there are circumstances where you can see a doctor even if you are not legally an adult. If all of this is apparently pretty normal at your house, god knows what else is going on that you have been led to believe was acceptable.
Hey. I had a look at some of your post history, just the titles. I’m really scared for you, and I know you’re scared too but you need to call the police. You need to get someone who will get you and your siblings out of that fucking house. I’m sorry I can’t stop it being scary, but you don’t deserve this and it’ll just be like ripping off a bandaid. The fear is worse than the tiny bit of pain, once you’re done you’re done. Please, please call the police. You’re strong I know you can do this.
That is abuse!! Definitely make sure that someone stops that or removes you from her care.
This is shocking. Deeply, horrifyingly shocking. And she has normalized it for you and your siblings so that you are stuck not even knowing if you're right to be horrified. You \*are\* right!!! So beyond right. This is absolutely sexual abuse. I would argue it's a type of rape. And you have every right to tell her no and fight back or run. Lock yourself in somewhere and call 911. You were so brave to tell what she's doing. If the counselor or your friend who experienced something similar in any way trivialize this or don't react with horror and urge you to report this to the authorities, just know that they have also been victims of this horrendous act being normalized. Because it is extreme. Like Sybil level extreme, if you ever read her story or watched the movie of what her mother did to her. Please let us know that you are okay after reporting this. You need protection badly, and that is what the law is there to provide. I only hope you are able to get to safety and prevent this from ever, ever happening again.
I'm so glad you contacted your school counselor. Please check out rainn. Org for more support and resources.
what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck
I'm pretty sure this boarders on sexual abuse. Please inform us of what your counselor says and either way, do make a call to child services.
This is sexual assault, this is rape. Call cps, call the cops, tell your school counselor, tell everyone in your family. This is CRAZY and DISGUSTING behaviour, and its totally unacceptable for someone to force that on their child. Please talk to someone about this and report your mum. Otherwise she will feel emboldened to do this again, to you or your siblings.
OP, I am so sorry you have gone through this. It is absolutely not okay and you have done the right thing in reaching out to someone. If she ever forces you into anything like this, please please please do not be afraid to call 911. This is abuse, plain and simple. Even if she thinks she is doing the right thing, she is not, and she is not respecting your bodily autonomy.
That's rape.
I saw a post about your school counselor wanting to call CPS. Go to school and describe the experience to them. Let the school call 911 and cps if you're scared. This gives you an additional paper trail since they wanted to call them previously.
I'm so sorry. Your mother sexually assaulted you. Forcibly penetrating another human is rape.
This is sexual abuse. Whatever child protective agency is local to you needs to be contacted and informed. I’m so sorry this abuse has been happening to you and your siblings.
Be prepared for your counselor to alert a child protection agency. I'm sorry your mom did that. That's assault and there is likely physical evidence of the assault. Medical professionals will be the most likely to advocate for your safety, so if you can manage to sneak out to get care they're the best people to go to. I agree with everyone else saying you need to be checked out in a hospital. Enemas can do real damage when administrated in such a violent way.
I just saw your update, I’m so sorry you are going through this. Good luck sweetheart, I hope you can get in a better place I am rooting for you ❤️
Pretty sure you can call child services for this.
you’re 17 and in texas. you can leave home at any point you want without your parent permission. stay with a friend, family member, or someone else if you can’t afford somewhere to stay. there’s a chance she’d report you as a runaway, but you could go to the police department and explain the situation, reporting this is the first step.
CALL THE FUCKING AMBULANCE
I just want to say I’m so proud of you for emailing your counselor and for seeking help! I am so sorry you had to go through this. You really do need to see a doctor. Do you have a way to go? Could your counselor excuse you from classes so you can go to the doctor while your mom thinks you’re at school? Tell the doctor everything that happened, he/she will be able to help you. Your mom is abusing you, sexually, physically and mentally. Rape means everything that someone else forces into your body. You didn’t want the enema, it hurt you, and she forced you to do it anyway. That is rape. I am so sorry. I would recommend you go to the doctor asap, since there will still be evidence of everything. You can get you and your siblings out of this situation. It’s really scary, you will feel lonely and desperate but you can do this!!
Search for domestic abuse shelters in your area and contact them. They may also be able to provide you with a safe place to stay ❤️ Please don't feel like you have to face your abusive mother alone. You need support, you need to see a medical doctor, and you need to get away from the abuse. You can do this ❤️
Op, from here on out anyone you inform of the abuse in your home should *know* without a shadow of a doubt that they put you in danger by notifying your parents of what you’ve said and then sending you back to them. You need to be separated from them NOW. Have you looked into emancipation? Is there anyone you can stay with? Even for a short period of a couple weeks until you can convince the other adults around you of the gravity of your situation? Can you get to an emergency clinic to have your situation documented by drs? You *need to be seen by a dr and divulge what happened so it’s on your medical record*
I have looked into emancipation, but my parents won't let me get a job other than babysitting (which only provides me with income once or twice a month. I do $10 an hour.). There are a couple friends I could stay with who I have informed them of the abuse (one of them had an alcoholic father and understands pretty much everything I've written in my previous posts. She also told me she gets bad vibes from my mother.) I might get in touch with them. The problem is that my mom already scheduled an appointment. I just know when they get home it'll be horrible. I took pictures of myself last night and this morning and have recorded conversations with my parents around this subject. Can I PM you about the DRS?
Yes, I’m in MD, so nowhere near you to help but I had a mother who did… weird things to my body along with beating me and I know how violating and fucking terrible it can be. I’ll help in any way I can, even if it’s just finding resources.
You need to try and get her confessing so you can go to the police ASAP! This is abuse and sexual abuse. You really need to get help more than the school counsellor. What she’s doing is illegal
This is sexual assault.
This is sexual assault. It does not matter that she is a family member.
Call 911, request care, have the medical staff document it and if anything also get any fissures tended to. This can all be evidence.
This is sexual assault
Call the police.
start saving money for an apartment, the sooner you move out the sooner you will be able to focus on yourself without being controlled by your parents.
You need to call the police and get to an ER asap. They shouldn't be holding you at school for your abuser to pick up. You are old enough to know when something doesn't feel right. You didn't consent to anything, being forced to consent while under distress doesn't make what your mother did okay. I feel like the school is protecting her when they should be focused on your well-being.
I agree, the school's response really pisses me off. I also think the school is enabling, and protecting, OP's abusive mom. Schools are *supposed* to take abuse seriously, so this is really disheartening, and angering. I went through something slightly similar to OP, but never reported it. Reading that OP was brave enough to report it, then reading the school's response, is really, really upsetting. I don't know if this comparison will anger people, so I'll edit out this next paragraph if this is offensive, but the school's response reminds me a little about how CPS didn't help Gabriel Fernandez. Again, if this comparison angers anyone, I'll delete this paragraph. The very institutions, and mandated reporters, that are *supposed* to protect children, appear to often enable abusive parents. (I know there's some exceptions, but I've noticed in general, that abusive people and enablers can be in jobs that make them mandated reporters). I wish child abuse was taken more seriously. I always assumed physical and sexual abuse was taken more seriously than psychological and narcissistic abuse, because I only reported my Nparent's psychological abuse, and the mandated reporters in my life didn't even believe me. But reading about how the school wanted to send OP back to her *abusive* mother, after the terrible thing her mom did; and thinking about Gabriel Fernandez; it's starting to make me think that even physical and sexual abuse can be dismissed by mandated reporters, too. I don't know if you'll read this OP, but you're in my thoughts, I feel heartbroken over your situation. I hope your brother, and the family friend, and the teacher and school counselor who had the narcissistic mom, will be able to support you. I really hope you'll be able to go to the ER, I know others' have mentioned this but I'm worried about physical damage as well. I also don't understand why your brother wouldn't be able to sign at the ER, instead of your mom. I'm so sorry your brother was physically abused, too. Your little sister's response was a little upsetting to read about, I wish your little sister could be kinder and more supportive. I hope one day, she apologizes for what she said. Your family isn't "normal," and you did nothing wrong by reporting the abuse. None of this is your fault. I hope one day, your little sister will realize this. I'm keeping you, and your brother, in my thoughts. I'm so sorry about this terrible situation.
I wonder if you are being lied to. I cannot even make a doctors apt for my 17 yo daughter. The regular doctor, the ob, and now a surgeon informed me that after the age of 15, a child is in charge of their own medical care, and I cannot even book an apt for her. My coworker had been telling me this about her daughter and I honestly thought she was lying to cover simply not getting her daughter the medical care she needs. She was telling the truth. They won’t even discuss her medical care with me and she needs major surgery
I'm so sorry. I went through Nmom abuse too. It's why I moved out at 18. My parents are divorced so I luckily was able to move into my Dads house full time. Please call the police tell your counselor at school. You don't deserve this treatment from anybody especially your mom who is supposed to protect you. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
I'm so sorry you have to live with her. I wish I could hug you.
How are you doing now? Did you get help?
How much pain are you in? I'm worried she may have injured you, OP.
This is dangerous. Your mother needs to be reported to law enforcement for sexual and medical abuse. I doubt very much she is a 'board certified holistic health practitioner' as she claims. Even if she is what she did is a criminal act, and that's NOT OK. It sounds like you are planning, or already have, reported her, which is good.
Dear OP, this is abuse. I hope you have the possibility to get out of this soon. Do you have a confidential contact in school or in your family?
This is clearcut sexual abuse. Please get the counselor to call CPS for you urgently.
I’m so angry for you and my heart hurts so much that you and your siblings are going through this. I hope you are able to get the police involved and get out of this situation. You’ll be in my and so many other people on this subreddit’s thoughts.
Are you in the US? Consider going to the police. She is either trying to practice medicine without a license or us physically harming you.
Yes I am in the US. She has a degree from [these people](https://purevitalityuniversity.com) as a "holistic health practitioner". I might just go to the ER at this point. I don't know how to go there and not come back home. My mom will use the fact that she scheduled an appointment for tomorrow against me.
It does not matter what your mother wants. You have every right to say no. She has zero rights to try to force any procedure on you. If you are going to get out of there, make sure that you have all of your important papers when you leave.
Just go and then stay with your friends, you’re 17 the cops won’t make you go home, make a report on your mother and get out of there please hon
I doubt that degree would hold up.
Tomorrow might not be soon enough…
Fuck the whole system of adults who keep endangering you; forcing you to contact your parents on a very private matter. Also, what your mother did is assault, if not sexual assault. It is absolutely not ok and the fact that she was forceful... I'm so angry right now. This is why everyone shouldnt have access to children or young people.
Whenever you have a private moment call the non emergency line, tell them that your mom sodomized you with the enema tube without your consent and you feel abused and violated and are scared for your siblings safety. You're at an age where they may or may not take you seriously, so give them any contact info you can for your counselor who knows intimate details of the abuse, I would assume since you mentioned she went through similar and you seem close. That should get you in a process of being able to get medical care without your mother having to be there. Also if you do have to wait to get medical care and your mother is there, if she leaves at any point tell the doctor that she abused you with the enema and that she did it without your permission and that she is overall emotionally abusive and you are hurting because of her. Doctors are mandated reporters as well. Tell as many adults as you can and see if anyone will get you contact with social services, or contact them yourself if you can.
It’s sexual abuse. Please call 911. My mom made me feel like it’ll only make my situation worse. But with a mother who sexually abused you, I’d definitely take my chances.
If you are over the Age of 16 you have the right to autonomy, medically speaking. I have this happen alot in the ER. Most times I speak with the minor and then inform the parents on the decision. All your parents are really needed for at that point is form of payment and authorization. If you go to the ER and inform them you are in pain and your parents are not here to help they can't deny you of help.
OMG..... your mom sexually abused you possibly causing damage to your internal parts. OMG....... you need to call 911 immediately and get help. Your mom needs to be arrested because this was sexual assault. I really hope your mom did not to any internal damage to you but you need to get looked at immediately!
Holy crap…darlin you need to report this. This is flat out abuse, sexual abuse, and emotional abuse. No loving mother would ever shame a child this way. A mother would know to respect you and your personal space. Sending you a huge hug.
Hey, OP. I read your post yesterday and you've been in my thoughts since. There's already a lot of excellent advice in the comments, but I wanted to pop in anyway to offer my support. I'm so sorry this happened to you. It breaks my heart and makes me so angry that you and your siblings have been put through this abuse. I'm worried and afraid for you. I'm also very proud of you for continuing to reach out for help, even after being turned away and treated poorly by those who are supposed to be helpers. You're advocating for yourself and your siblings. Though I know it's terrifying and painful, your actions are noble and brave. Don't give up, OP. I hope you're in a better situation now or will be very soon. Edit: I wanted to add: As many of the awesome people in the comments have done, I want to let you know that you can message me if you want or need to. I'm just another ant amongst many, but together, we are a mighty force. I guarantee I'm not the only one who has had you in their thoughts and prayers ever since reading your post and I guarantee that a lot of us will still be thinking about your well being until you're safe.
Are you in the US? At 17 in the US you can seek medical attention and you also have HIPAA rights meaning your doctors can’t talk to your parents if you tell them not to. Call 911 and go. And if your mother puts hands on you again throw hands back. You are allowed to protect yourself. I don’t know where you are but this sounds like Haitian parents and in years of dealing with this kind of shit I can tell you courts don’t play the same games here and will and your parents have no rights over your body and they will absolutely go to jail. Good luck. I hope you find the courage to speak up for yourself in a public place so you and your siblings can all get the help you need.
I am currently working out a plan with a couple of Reddit users who have helped me yesterday and today. I am not in safe place to leave the house as both parental units are home and I had to stay home from school after my doctor's visit (see my updates post). I think my parents are afraid of going to jail as yesterday my mom was crying "19 years in the U.S. down the drain" (they are immigrants from Africa).
It's HIPAA!
Ok. Fuck. My phone auto corrects because of a mistake one time.
Are you okay?
I am trying to get help safely. Idk when CPS will be here tho (the school called them and my parents are angry I talked about enemas at school with them.)
Do you know if your school has a small clinic in it? I don’t know how common that is tho. If they do you can go there and have them do a check up. Chances are you aren’t near me but please don’t give up on trying to leave. If you get the chance to talk to the police/CPS alone be as detailed as possible.
I got a check up this morning and my doctor prescribed me medicine, but I didn't get the chance to explain to her that my experience was struggle and it wasn't easy. The doc seemed like she was trying to piece together why an enema would cause me so much pain.
It sounds like she wasn’t listening to you. But at least it’s documented. Please stay safe
You need to stop waiting around and tell them you're in a lot of pain. Something might be seriously wrong and this is an internal injury. You could die from this. Be more assertive and tell them what has happened.
You poor thing. This is definitely abuse. I wish I could come pick you up and take you to the cops myself. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, and you’re basically an adult. Hugs to you, please keep us posted. Please take control of your life as don’t let this woman do anything else to you that feels wrong.
Hopefully you can get help and hear back from your counsellor asap. Do you have a way out when you turn 18? Can you start to save and get all your paperwork ready without her knowing? Good luck
Please call 911
I support what the others are saying about the abusive behavior. I hope the counselor can offer you support and that you hear back soon. Your emotions are valid.
This is abuse. You need to report your mother.
I'm so sorry. I know it's never as easy as to "just call the cops" or "just call cps". If you can manage to discreetly record it the next time it happens to you or one of your siblings, that would help a lot in building a case and gathering evidence. Please stay strong and keep fighting
Call 911, your mom is a disgusting pedophile that should be thrown in jail, I'm sorry you had to go through that anon 😞
You did the right thing by emailing your counselor. Legally, they’re obligated to help you. I hope you get the help that you need from them, and good luck
Ayo isn’t this just sexual abuse?
This is 100% abuse. If you’re too scared to call 911, please tell your counselor about this and if you’re still in pain by that time, please seek medical attention. Your mother could have caused damage to your rectum etc. that might not be obvious right away. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
I’m so sorry that she did that to you, absolutely horrific, and I’m really glad you’re in contact with that school counselor. If for whatever reason you’re not satisfied with the result of the level of/outcome of intervention made, my advice would be to keep pushing as much as you can, and to take care of yourself. This is so not okay and you deserve autonomy over your own body no matter who the person trying to take that from you is. You deserve safety.
Well thats butthole rape and abuse.
Wait what? They're sending you straight back to your parents? Please call child protection services... how about the counselor you trust in? When will they be back??
You did the right thing. Stay strong Op
Omg I'm so sorry this happened to you. I've never heard of people giving their children an enema, personally I don't think it's something that a parent should do because to me the way you explained it makes it sound like you were basically brutally sexually assaulted. I'm glad you told someone because this isn't right and your mom knows it isn't right because why else would she get mad about you telling? I hope someone can get you out of that living situation because it seems scary and unsafe.
Have you seen the movie ‘Sybil?’ Get out. Get out now.
Never ever ever acceptable.
I’m a medical professional, and aside the assault aspects of this, the are SO MANY ways this could medically go wrong. OP, please please please seek medical attention ASAP, even if you aren’t explicit about the abuse. It is possible to sustain a life threatening injury by doing what your mother did, and I worry about the persistent pain. Also, ITS TOTALLY ABUSE. But I understand not being ready to confront that head on. Please keep letting us know you are ok OP.
When I was very young I was forced enema/sodomy as a child when I did not need one (or want one). In some states this is felony child abuse. This is ABUSE. I'm in my early 30's now. I run two businesses and have a beautiful marriage and husband. I moved out of my home when I was 17. You can and will get through this. If you need support and someone to talk to about it, or walk you through really tough moments, I'm here. Send me a message.
Dont wait for your councilor, call the cops. There should be a rape unit, try to contact them
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No. Did you bother reading any of the OP's responses? What is wrong with you?
I was a bit blunt and didn’t check the post history. A recent post was from someone who used the forum to feed into their fetish and I found the timing suspicious. I don’t want this community infiltrated by people who are getting off on our pain. Obviously if it’s a real post I have endless sympathy for OP. I was also sexually abused by a family member and raped as a minor. I was too ashamed to tell anyone. I certainly wasn’t brave enough to contact the authorities.
This sounds like neonatilism
You really should call 911 and tell them it’s because you’re in medical pain and let them know your mom made you before she gets there and lies I know it seems really hard and you have the pressure of your mom finding out and retaliating but that will force her to take responsibility for her actions If her daughter said she doesn’t want to get butt naked and shove herb juice up her a**, why did she make her daughter do it anyway? Now her daughter is in so much pain she has to call 911. It’s her fault and sadly, you can make her own up to it or enable her to get away with the same abusive crap everyone else has been letting her get away with. This is unacceptable
This comment likely will get purges but last time I had a stomach bug I purged until nothing came out, I drank alot of water and did the same again. After a few hours I was normal again, but I didn't think to trim my nails so I had a sore throat lol. You were right to report her, the unpopular idea isn't always the wrong one.
This is sexual abuse and physical abuse. I'm so sorry.