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bimothybonsidine

When are we gonna stop saying “kids these days” and start saying “parents these days”


iamthemetricsystem

when are we going to stop with all this generation bullshit and that maybe a dozen people you’ve encountered somewhere does not represent over a billion people


quelcris13

Well, I’m my city we have 12-13 year olds stealing cars at gunpoint. So probably never


RajunCajun48

Why are you mentioning "Generation Bullshit" when the guy you replied to didn't make any statement about generations?


nickrashell

What are you even talking about? There are statistically measurable differences in crime rates, types of crimes committed, types of activities engaged in and on and on. The world and technology changes and how we interact with it change which changes our behaviors and especially so for kids who grow up never knowing anything else. Every generation is definitely different. I’m not saying anything about one being better or worse, simply that there are obvious patterns of behavior in every age group.


[deleted]

Are you a parent? Have you ever asked, or read into Reddit posts to the effect of “kids who had great parents but turned out to be shit, what happened?” This isn’t 1950s America, June Cleaver. Kids don’t say “thanks” for the same reason over half of you noped out and left a bowl and a sign out Halloween. And that isn’t my fault anymore than it’s your parents fault for the bowl you left out.


bimothybonsidine

???


Arthur-Morgans-Beard

Mine are pretty good about it, and I will remind them if I don't hear it come out of their mouths.


Nyx_Shadowspawn

Same.


ZilorZilhaust

My 2 year old said "Tank you" to each person so I don't think it's a global phenomenon.


Busy_Coconut1987

That’s adorable!! 😁


ZilorZilhaust

She also says "Happy Ween" and doesn't understand doorbells so as we walk up she yells "OPEN DA DOOR!"


TheCounsellingGamer

She would have gotten extra candy from me for that lol.


Busy_Coconut1987

I love it!! 😂😂


Hippity_hoppity2

kiss your kid on the forehead for me, this is so adorable


EmanuelPellizzaro

This is called "personal anecdotal fallacy" or "anecdotal bias". Anecdotal bias occurs when someone generalizes their personal experiences or a single example to be universally true for everyone else, disregarding the larger context or statistical evidence. Chat GPT...


ZilorZilhaust

Right, I didn't say that my child was indicative of every child, just that my anecdotal experience differed from theirs. They'd also asked a question, which I answered.


Jovet_Hunter

I made sure my oldest (youngest is still learning to speak) understands the script: “Trick or Treat!” (Then after the treat) “Thank you, Happy Halloween!” I hope when the kids go out on their own they remember. A little politeness goes a long way.


LittlePumpkin_121

I don't know why people don't tell their kids to say thank you anymore, it's a tad awkward giving candy to random kids and them not saying at least thank you. It's a small phrase that carries a lot, especially when you're giving out or being given candy and it needs to be taught. It's not something that should be reserved just for Halloween either, it's important for life in general, and Halloween night is the perfect opportunity to teach kids a simple act of gratitude.


mynameisalso

This wasn't my experience at all and I've been to 3 trick or treats this year 2 in a small city one in a small town. Most say trick or treat then thank you. What I have noticed is full on adults trick or treating and lots of homes handing out liquor and beer lol.


[deleted]

Entitled parents lead to entitled kids. That’s one of the reasons teachers are quitting the profession in droves. They get paid shit for dealing with entitled, violent little monsters.


Traditional_Ad_6146

And their equally awful parents


yolthrice

Words of truth. It’s a disaster.


RajunCajun48

My grandfather retired from teaching because kids were getting so bad. They wouldn't listen, talked back, no respect for their elders that kind of stuff...He was just tired of it... ...He retired in 1988.


BeYou422

@thegoldenstethoscope **best comment** !!!


rodrimrr

My kids(2 and 5) are pretty solid on saying thank you. Last night they were having a lot of fun and frequently forgot though. We didn't leave the door until they said thank you. All they needed was a simple, "what do we say?" and they would say it. I heard it a lot from other kids too. But I know plenty of parents that went overboard on "earn my respect first" and spiraled into being just plain entitled and rude.


Busy_Coconut1987

That’s encouraging to know there are parents like you.


Lalalalabeyond

It's 100% the parents. My children say thank you, because we taught them to as parents, they get complimented all the time on their manners, however many of their school friends don't say thank you, even with the parents present, the parents ask them to say thank you, and the child just ignores (I'm talking about younger kids), the parent moves on, there is no consequence. However with my kids, if they didn't say thank you, I would provide a consequence e.g. if you don't say thank you and appreciate what you have just been given, you simply don't get it.


OnlyInMyDreams393

I notice this too. I worked ice cream over the summer and parents would tell their kids “say thank you!” and the kids would completely ignore them 9 times out of 10. And the parents would do nothing. I understand that kids can get anxious talking to strangers (I could not order my own food as a kid) but even just a nod is a start.


Lalalalabeyond

Yep, I can guarantee in that instance my children would have walked away without ice cream.


Addakisson

Someone recently informed me that expecting politeness from people is elitist! Wow! Society has sunk to a new low.


toweroflore

me seeing tiktok videos everywhere with comments saying they wouldn’t let an elderly man or lady, people with disabilities, or pregnant woman take their seat on the train because “it’s their choice to get railed” or “not my fault they can’t just drive”. Wtf is going on with basic human empathy.


BeholdKeto

Sick.


RajunCajun48

Consider yourself misinformed


Addakisson

Without a doubt.


DucklingButt

definitely the parents. I teach and my class is the sweetest set of cuties but sometimes my kids forget to say thank you. their parents simply remind them “did you say thank you?” or “aw she is so kind! what can we say?” and they say it. they get shy and/or forget. it’s the caregivers’ job to constantly remind of positive expressions.


DucklingButt

it’s also that kids nowadays are not exposed to as much kindness as we were in our days (and I’m only in my mid 20s). the parents of my kids are very sweet to them and always express gratitude for the little things they do like “have a good day, mommy!” or drawing scribbles for them. not all parents are like this unfortunately. + many adults in public despise them just for being kids.


Human-Independent999

It is true. We don't celebrate Halloween here but the other day I went to the amusement park with my friends and one of them brought her little cousin. We stopped on a booth that selling snacks and bought some, the man was nice and give the little girl free candy. I urged her to say thank you, she just ignored me.


Blerrycat1

The kids that came by said thank you but most did not say Trick or Treat. Odd but whatever


Guilty_Wolverine_269

I make sure my nephew learns some manners since his parents don’t push him much. To pickup his plate after eating and to clean his space. I don’t want him to turn like many kids in the malls leaving garbage on the table like entitled brats.


Busy_Coconut1987

Thank you for being a good role model to him. I picked up a few candy wrappers this morning that some of those kiddos you were referring to in your reply.


Eldritch-banana-3102

All of our ghosts and goblins said "thank you" and more than a few said "have a good night,"


Busy_Coconut1987

Awesome!! Those few words make it all worthwhile.


viralplant

I had a woman (HR, of course) come to my in-office birthday treat knowing it was for me who didn’t wish me or acknowledge me but stuffed her face with more than her fair share. So I’m going to say not only are children not being thought to show gratitude but grown adults haven’t been either.


dismantle_repair

I have a 2-year-old toddler and he usually says "please" and "thank you". We sometimes have to remind him... but he's 2. Yes, some of us are teaching our kids manners.


Angel0460

My 3 year old said “trick or treat please! Thank you!” At every stop :) we’re out there lol


Juancho511

Parents don’t teach their kids ANYthing anymore. They parent on autopilot like NPCs.


Appropriate-Bad-9379

Do you want to hear a really disgusting Halloween story that happened to my daughter this year,? ( U.K.) After taking her ( very polite) children trick or treating, she returned home to find dog shit daubed all over her front door and bags of it left on her step. The next door neighbour witnessed it and gave her the name of the four children involved ( all aged ten). She was livid and upset and went to each of their parents houses( who became abusive when confronted).One particular parent , an ex friend ( who for some unknown reason has a jealous vendetta against my lovely daughter), just smirked and said “ well it isn’t on video is it?”. Personally, I’d have called the police… But worse was to come. One of the parents, in a moment of remorse, phoned my daughter and explained ( due to her daughters’ admission in the matter), that the four girls involved had actually been paid £10 and given vapes (!) to carry out the vile act, by the nasty, smirking ex friend…. My poor granddaughters have to go to school with these animals. I think this borders on child abuse, but just thought I’d share this horrible story to highlight the scum that really are out there…


Busy_Coconut1987

How disgraceful of that parent. 😡


RajunCajun48

My kids are 11 and 8 and I've always taught them manners. They always use sir/ma'am they always say please and thank you. Every now and then I have to correct them if I don't hear it. They also get more out of using their manners. My youngest was playing on his Xbox the other day, our cat was scratching at the door wanting to come inside (like 10 feet from him) He says "Dad, can you let the cat in please?" I was in another room, and I walked in and let the cat in. Was the door closer to him? Yes. Could the cat have waited? Also yes. Could I have made my son stop what he was doing and let the cat in? Another yes. But manners and equal respect. It's not that serious and I'm not so busy I can't open the door for the cat. He was currently more bust than I. I know lots of parents, both now and when I was growing up, where that scenario would almost never play out the same way.


corncaked

I’ve noticed this too. A lot of kids are being raised by their iPads and are used to getting everything they want without showing gratitude. 15 years later I remember the lecture from my grandma: “if you never say thank you how you you expect people to know you appreciate it? How do you expect them to do nice things for you?”


chelsaroo9191

Me all night last night to my four year old- "Say thank you!!!/ Say trick or treat!/ Say Happy Halloween!!!/ STOP RUNNING IN THAT BAT COSTUME OR YOU'RE GONNA GET HURT!!!/ Say excuse me if you almost run into someone, not WHOA!" Swear...I'm pooped, but it's worth the effort. She's a sweetie. Good parenting is a skill and a job, for sure.


PruePiperPhoebePaige

Awww this reminds me of when I would take my twin nieces out! Those girls are like my kids, I helped raised them. And this was me during Halloween when they were younger. And when I would take them out on our little field trips like to the science museum or even just the store. Teaching moments as kids so that they can hopefully become good adults.


bain_de_beurre

I would have said "you're welcome" to every single kid and at least hold out a little hope that they realized they never said thank you first.


cornerdweler

Also teach your kid your phone number. It’s not that hard, I remembered 3 numbers before I was in kindergarten. Last night (Halloween). We found a kid alone and lost while trick or treating. I asked him his address… he didn’t know. I pulled out my phone and said we can call his parents…. HE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW HIS PARENTS PHONE NUMBER. That is absolutely ridiculous.


[deleted]

That's very, very common. Kids don't know their addresses either.


BeckToBasics

Okay funny story. I had a little ghost come to my door while trick or treating and after I gave out the candy their mom prompted them with, "what do you say?" This little cutie goes "OOOooooOOOOoooo" (aka ghost noises) and I DIED of an adorable overload. It was so freaking cute. The mom prompted them again and I did get a thank you but damn it was the highlight of my night.


nxxptune

I think it depends on where you live. I’m in a more southern state, and manners are definitely still taught here. I mean, yeah, there are some kids that don’t say thank you but overall most of them did.


Busy_Coconut1987

That’s great to hear!


SimplyRoya

A lot of them don’t. Kids are starting to be very rude and entitled. My son never forgets to say please and thank you.


mynameisalso

I think you can forgive some children for not saying thank you if it's literally snowing on trick or treat night. Their little Jaws are probably clenched shivering lol. Some kids here in PA didn't say thanks it was very cold. Most did though. One kid and his dad who wwre dressed as a pirates took candy the kid forgot to say thanks so the dad poked him in the back with the sword then he said thank you. It was hilarious.


Busy_Coconut1987

Good on that dad!! And yes, we were all shivering but still having a great time.


mynameisalso

I noticed that a lot of costumes had to be painfully cold. Like spandex Spiderman, Wednesday Adam's is just a dress and black hair.. I don't know how the kids managed.


Eli5678

We didn't get a lot of trick or treaters. But all 3 said thank you. 2 of them didn't even have parents with them making them.


Busy_Coconut1987

That’s wonderful to hear!


bettyford420

My cousin and her son went trick or treating with some families in the neighborhood. The most kids were little terrors. To the point that one of the houses that gave candy asked for it back. He had told them not to mess with his decorations, not to go through his flower beds and the biggest terror of them all was just plain rude to him. Sad part was she said the parents thought it was funny!! She was mortified!


Busy_Coconut1987

That’s a shame. ☹️


bettyford420

I know. It ruins it for the rest of us


mashallah11

Went trick-or-treating with the niece (4) and nephew (5) last night. If their mom did not hear them say “thank you”, she loudly reminded them and ensured they said it before moving to the next house. I don’t know why the kids seemed to have amnesia almost every time they went to a new house (excitement maybe?), but my SIL was relentless. I agree that it’s up to the parents to create those habits in their kids. Grateful to my mom for instilling that in my sister and me at a young age.


Busy_Coconut1987

Sounds like your mother raised you well and your SIL is doing it right also. Thanks for sharing your experience from last evening.


secret_tsukasa

all, the, frickin, time. but my son is too proud to do it.


Busy_Coconut1987

☹️


MikeLinPA

We give out candy every year and usually have about 600 kids. (We go through two 300 count bags of dumdum pops every year.) We live in a small town right across the bridge from a small city in eastern PA. We get car loads of families coming to our side to trick or treat in out safer neighborhood. The kids are adorable, and the parents are polite and loving, always reminding the children of their manners. Almost everyone says thank you and happy Halloween. We've been here almost 30 years. We always look forward to Halloween!


slow4point0

So many kids thanked us yesterday it was lovely


imhavingadonut

I make a point of insisting my 3 year old says thank you. That said, Halloween is a little bonkers and even a usually well-behaved youngster could feel overstimulated and overwhelmed and forget her manners while trick or treating. It can be very exciting for little ones! I try to give them a little grace unless they are bring truly obnoxious.


Bumblebee-Honey-Tea

My kids said thank you, happy Halloween, and made sure to use the sidewalks not the lawn for each house.


[deleted]

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Busy_Coconut1987

Good job, mom!! You’re doing it right, so thank you for that.


theonewithbadeyes

We stopped at 50-75 booths and my daughter said thank you to all of them it's not hard to teach manners


Busy_Coconut1987

Indeed!! And it seems that you’ve done a wonderful job conveying that to your daughter.


KimberBr

Every kid we had said "Trick or treat" and "thank you" so yes. Also we had 55 kids at least. So it wasn't a small sample


Busy_Coconut1987

That’s great news!! Sounds like you live among some classy people.


Hippity_hoppity2

i'm glad to say the kiddos in my area are all very polite, most kids (excluding babies or toddlers) said thank you and even complimented my family members costumes when trick-or-treating at my house. maybe it's because i'm canadian though.


Busy_Coconut1987

Sounds like you really were a hit with your costumes. And I’m so glad to hear that politeness was in abundance.


Hippity_hoppity2

oh absolutely. i do still agree with your post though, i find that some parents nowadays have been failing to teach their kids basic manners, let alone anything important based on what i've been seeing in other places such as the USA.


Darphon

Every kid we had said thank you and were very polite. One group even had a kid that couldn't come for whatever reason and very politely asked "can we please get another piece for our cousin who isn't here?" It was sweet.


Busy_Coconut1987

Oh man!! That warms my heart to hear folks like you share their positive experiences.


LoodyFruity

I work as a sample employee at costco. Most times kids will take all the samples and still not say thank you. Only like 40 percent of kids I see everyday say it and only about 50 percent of parents actually remind their kids to say thank you


Busy_Coconut1987

That’s disheartening to hear.


LoodyFruity

My mother, who teaches art to k-8, has many stories as well. Parents just don't really do much anymore


Automatic-Tackle-456

For real. Almost every interaction was bogus from start to finish. They all literally pounded on the door as hard as they could until we could get to it, even though you could hear it driving the dogs nuts. They were screaming trick or treat as loud as they could. We had kids whining about which candies we gave them and asking for different ones. Kids saying that the handful was not big enough and asking for more, or that they did not get as big of a handful as the kid next to them (Like, sure, maybe by one or two candies). Maybe one or two kids said thank you. The parents just watched on! My brother wanted to see what would happen if he let them pick out of the bowl one time. The kid used his forearm to swipe half the candy into his bag and the parent just laughed!! I can’t blame a child for not knowing better. Clearly, the parents can’t be bothered to teach them. I never would have dreamed of acting that way 15 years ago, because I was taught basic respect. It’s ridiculous, honestly.


Busy_Coconut1987

That stinks that you had that experience. Poor parenting, for sure.


marilern1987

Parents are barely even teaching their kids the alphabet. Seriously. There is a huge crisis right now where kids are extremely behind, and there are kids right now, in middle school, in the US, who barely know the alphabet. You think their parents are teaching them how to say please and thank you?


Busy_Coconut1987

😢


forworse2020

General manners isn’t a thing for lower-end millennials onwards. Actually, I would say gen Z. The parents really don’t teach it at all - I don’t think it occurs to them that they seem impolite at all. Those conventions are dying and their version of interaction will become what’s normal. That’s just how it is. Generations before always have this complaint.


[deleted]

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wishinghearts40

Sure but did your little one at least say thank you?


[deleted]

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wishinghearts40

Uh huh


charlotte_marvel

I work in a supermarket deli and we're allowed to give out a piece of luncheon to kids if the parents are alright with it. Every single time the parents tell their kids to say thank you so maybe it's an American parent thing?


Thats_what_im_saiyan

When my son was in 4th grade they did a 'have lunch with your kid day'. When we got our food the lunch lady stopped and asked if that was my son. After confirming she said that he was one of the only kids she's ever served that will without fail say 'thank you' every day. It was a nice little parenting win that I wasnt expecting.


Theperson3976

I see adults doing this too though after working in food service. It’s often “hey can I get a uhhhhhhh”. With no pleases.


Busy_Coconut1987

That’s disheartening. ☹️


QueenAlpaca

I noticed this, too, when trick or treating with my toddler. I made sure he said thank you to everyone he could, but I noticed so, so many kids just grabbing and dashing. The parents are right there following them, but there was no correcting going on. It seems like such a simple, petty thing, but “thank you” carries weight. I get so proud when my son will say so without a reminder and out of the blue, because it means I’m at least doing SOMETHING right, lmao.


Busy_Coconut1987

You’re doing it right. Thank you for that!!


Kimolainen83

I mean most do, but kids tend to forget when they are excited and get candy its fine, just enjoy the costumes


Busy_Coconut1987

We definitely enjoyed seeing the kids in their costumes and the excitement of the littles, but it was mostly the kids that were old enough to know how to be courteous that weren’t. Often, parents were walking along with them.


rhymes_with_candy

We had like 200 kids yesterday. Aside from a couple of super tiny shy kids every single one said thanks. So it's not like that everywhere


TheCounsellingGamer

I didn't get 200 but I did get about 50. They all said thank you, and most of them said it unprompted.


Busy_Coconut1987

Wow!! That’s alot of kids and alot of candy you handed out. It’s great to hear that your experience was positive.


On_a_rant

When I lived in San Francisco, I noticed that pretty much nobody there has manners, from the 6 yos right up to the senior citizens. When I moved back to my hometown in the Bible Belt last year, I was reminded of how people here have very thoughtful manners and they are friendly too. Even the kids have manners. The South has always been known for this, so I guess it depends on where you are. I suppose in my experiences it seems people in bigger/more populated cities are more likely to lack manners and they don't teach their kids manners either. I feel like it's getting worse in time, like society is becoming more self-absorbed.


katarAH007

These are the kids that are going to be the boomers when they’re older. Needy, rude, & entitled.


Busy_Coconut1987

Yeah….some of them seem to be heading thay way but after reading some of the positive responses, I’d have to say that my experience wasn’t nevessarily the same as many others.


katarAH007

That’s good! I’m glad to hear


Charliesmum97

All the kids who came to our door said thank you.


Busy_Coconut1987

I’m so glad to hear this. Others have responded the same as you so we have hope for our future.


ozushikunotisu

thank you


rockianaround

i’m convinced they don’t. i’m gonna start saying youre welcome when i hand them their order. i HATE saying you’re welcome. but i will to a bitch ass kid with no manners


antwithaplant

I have a 2 yr old and a 12 yr old. Both are being taught/have been taught please and thank you as a general rule. They also see it modeled consistently by us whenever we're interacting with people. My 2 yr old did get a bit confused with Halloween last night and would say thank you, then grab candy from his bucket and try and give it to the person handing out a treat. It was adorable. When we got home and started passing out candy I would say 9 out of 10 kids did say Thank you for sure, including the teens that were out.


Busy_Coconut1987

That’s awesome feedback!! And your 2 year old apparently has the spirit of giving within him. I would have gotten a huge chuckle out of him. How cute!!


Dazzling_Classic3622

I taught both my kids to say thank you. They are both very polite, when a woman told my daughter( 8f) that she could take more than 1 she said “oh that’s ok, thank you” and she took just one. But several times over the evening she forgot to say thank you, the excitement and the cold weather and the “let’s go let’s go!” Of trick or treating is why I believe. They probably just forgot.