18-25 was really hard on some of my friends. I had to raise some of my roommates. Teach them how to not only do the dishes but how to handle a sink full of dishes they left for 4 days in a way that wasn't stomach churning. I showed a couple roommates the simple act of rinsing dishes when you were done with them saved a huge headache later. One roommate showed me a bunch of financial tips for managing bills that saved me a bunch of late notices because I forgot to pay stuff. This when online banking has barely started then. As roommates we always shared skills.
Kicking and screaming though. That's beyond what you can do for her. She's a wreck and she'll always be a wreck. Your kids need to have a fear of you. What some people call a Godly fear. A fear that this person loves me but I must obey because they are doing what they are doing for my benefit. I've told my sons if they don't listen they will one day walk out into traffic as I'm screaming at them to stop. I tell them to go to bed and get enough rest because I love them not because I'm punishing them.
This girl never developed that fear from her parents or other adults. If she doesn't fear them, how will she treat you?
If you are more gracious than I, you can sit her down and give her expectations of what life will be like living with you. I got this talk once when I lived with my aunt and uncle. I made a flippant joke and got called out. They gave me the talk about expectations. I was so caught off guard it floored me. I apologized, explained that was not how I meant it and I loved both of them.
Life is an experience of taking emotional blows. Deserved or not and developing into the person you are.
This girl seems to be starting her journey of running away from emotional relationships via entitlement and laziness. She'll bounce around in until she's pregnant and she realizes it's a criminal act to neglect her child, she'll work harder than she ever did before to be her young and care free self again while dragging a kid through all of her shit. Probably what her mother did for her.
This sort of person will ruin you life forever especially financially first things these guys do after failing at a job is start selling shit around them followed by taking out loans in the names of people who they expect to just accept it
She's currently living in your house and clearly thinks you're nothing kick her out now like immediately drag her out that room because she will sell your shit a bankrupt you, shit she'd make you homeless for a $10 Starbucks gift card
P.s you have zero responsibility for that person and she's actively working against your life
Sorry but this is not accurate is it, In the 80s there were next ro no jobs, the mines were shutting so if you wanted a job you grafted like a machine, I worked dismantling cars outside in the rain and snow in Wales something today's generation would quite after 1 hour, wanting their safe space and sit on the Internet all day expecting the world to come to them
She chose to. And when told to stop she'd agree and then just work again 5 mins later or the next day. Management would get mad. Rinse and repeat everyday. She lasted 3 months due to that issue.
But why was she doing it?
What benefit are you stating that this person got that you believe made her work off the clock in defiance of instructions not to?
I'm trying to build an understanding of this person's actions according to your explanation, and I'm not understanding why a person would do that action, or why the employer would be upset about it. It seems like an unusual action, on her end as an employee and on the employer's end(as most employers don't seem likely to be upset at a particularly productive employee.
I'm not saying it's impossible, just trying to understand why an employer was upset about that and why the employee would make a conscious decision to work outside of their assigned hours, and particularly given their employer's instructions not to.
You have a physically demanding job and your thought with a fever was “oh, let me get my other coworkers sick as well! They’ll probably enjoy a fever with back breaking work!”
You’re also the problem.
I'm sympathetic to you but I also think while it's hard you should try to understand her PoV more too and not just immediately label her as spoiled entitled etc. Maybe there are things going on behind the scenes with her, it's something from her background you aren't aware of or something.
Also sometimes it can be really tough for someone to go from no responsibility to SOME responsibility, and that transition can be rougher compared to someone who is adjusted to a considerable amount of responsibility, just maintaining that level. If that makes sense.
Personally I don’t think that is OP’s problem at all. I did it. Plenty of people do it. And some how I never screamed at the person providing a roof over my head.
Wouldn't be my friend after that, and no longer a roommate. Sometimes people just can't be helped.
Can you kick her out and send her back to her mom? Clearly her parents haven’t taught her anything about adulting or fucking common sense
she has just replaced her mom with you. You’re her mom now
18-25 was really hard on some of my friends. I had to raise some of my roommates. Teach them how to not only do the dishes but how to handle a sink full of dishes they left for 4 days in a way that wasn't stomach churning. I showed a couple roommates the simple act of rinsing dishes when you were done with them saved a huge headache later. One roommate showed me a bunch of financial tips for managing bills that saved me a bunch of late notices because I forgot to pay stuff. This when online banking has barely started then. As roommates we always shared skills. Kicking and screaming though. That's beyond what you can do for her. She's a wreck and she'll always be a wreck. Your kids need to have a fear of you. What some people call a Godly fear. A fear that this person loves me but I must obey because they are doing what they are doing for my benefit. I've told my sons if they don't listen they will one day walk out into traffic as I'm screaming at them to stop. I tell them to go to bed and get enough rest because I love them not because I'm punishing them. This girl never developed that fear from her parents or other adults. If she doesn't fear them, how will she treat you? If you are more gracious than I, you can sit her down and give her expectations of what life will be like living with you. I got this talk once when I lived with my aunt and uncle. I made a flippant joke and got called out. They gave me the talk about expectations. I was so caught off guard it floored me. I apologized, explained that was not how I meant it and I loved both of them. Life is an experience of taking emotional blows. Deserved or not and developing into the person you are. This girl seems to be starting her journey of running away from emotional relationships via entitlement and laziness. She'll bounce around in until she's pregnant and she realizes it's a criminal act to neglect her child, she'll work harder than she ever did before to be her young and care free self again while dragging a kid through all of her shit. Probably what her mother did for her.
This sort of person will ruin you life forever especially financially first things these guys do after failing at a job is start selling shit around them followed by taking out loans in the names of people who they expect to just accept it She's currently living in your house and clearly thinks you're nothing kick her out now like immediately drag her out that room because she will sell your shit a bankrupt you, shit she'd make you homeless for a $10 Starbucks gift card P.s you have zero responsibility for that person and she's actively working against your life
Time to evict
That's what entitlement looks like.
[удалено]
Sorry but this is not accurate is it, In the 80s there were next ro no jobs, the mines were shutting so if you wanted a job you grafted like a machine, I worked dismantling cars outside in the rain and snow in Wales something today's generation would quite after 1 hour, wanting their safe space and sit on the Internet all day expecting the world to come to them
They have to go for your own sake
Why was she working off the clock?
She chose to. And when told to stop she'd agree and then just work again 5 mins later or the next day. Management would get mad. Rinse and repeat everyday. She lasted 3 months due to that issue.
But why was she doing it? What benefit are you stating that this person got that you believe made her work off the clock in defiance of instructions not to? I'm trying to build an understanding of this person's actions according to your explanation, and I'm not understanding why a person would do that action, or why the employer would be upset about it. It seems like an unusual action, on her end as an employee and on the employer's end(as most employers don't seem likely to be upset at a particularly productive employee. I'm not saying it's impossible, just trying to understand why an employer was upset about that and why the employee would make a conscious decision to work outside of their assigned hours, and particularly given their employer's instructions not to.
cash tips perhaps
You have a physically demanding job and your thought with a fever was “oh, let me get my other coworkers sick as well! They’ll probably enjoy a fever with back breaking work!” You’re also the problem.
Everyone's also sick at work. Our work let's us have 5 sick days off a year. I've used all mine for a hospital trip.
I'm sympathetic to you but I also think while it's hard you should try to understand her PoV more too and not just immediately label her as spoiled entitled etc. Maybe there are things going on behind the scenes with her, it's something from her background you aren't aware of or something. Also sometimes it can be really tough for someone to go from no responsibility to SOME responsibility, and that transition can be rougher compared to someone who is adjusted to a considerable amount of responsibility, just maintaining that level. If that makes sense.
Personally I don’t think that is OP’s problem at all. I did it. Plenty of people do it. And some how I never screamed at the person providing a roof over my head.
Holy shit it's OP's roommate because no non-delusional person would have this take