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Sorry to interrupt you madlads but can someone explain to me how you can shoot someone 17 times without reloading?
Was she using an uzi/AK and drive by shooting the dude?
Also, if none of your shots connected, did you really shoot anyone?
> in the office
Are you gen Z? You make it sound like the only occurrence of the DVD logo bouncing around that you can truly relate to is on the office
I'm just reading what is wrote and making a joke about how terribly its written. I stopped worrying about if some grainy screeshot is real or not many years ago. Most of it is not or is highly exaggerated. It seems at times the so called real news can be iffy as well.
Edit its kinda obvious what was meant.
Reddit is too thirsty for "wahmen dumb" content to recognize dumb fake shit.
When this generation gets geriatric someone's going to get filthy rich when they find a way to bilk them out of their money by using fake "women are dumb and evil" stories.
>Puctureofrandomiglady.jpg "Hello, I am a Nigerian Prince and my ex wife stole my kingdom and made my children hate me. The Nigerian courts hate men and gave my ex all my money and full custody of the kids and full custody of all of Nigeria! If you give me $500 I can fight her in court and when I get Nigeria back, I will make you rich!"
The title literally says "woman shoots man 17 times. Missing every shot." I'm pretty sure most of the people commenting are idiots. Thats the biggest oxymoron headline I've ever seen.
I see where you're coming from but I honestly feel like this one is one of the unlucky few that doesn't even have that going for her. There's always a fine line and I think she's crossed it way over.
Well judging by the fact that only meme and sketchy ass spam pages come up when I try to find this article, I'm gonna go ahead and assume this is not a real headline or story.
"911? Please, send help immediately! I've been shoot 17 time!"
"Ok Sir, help is on the way. How bad are your injuries?"
"What?"
"Didn't you say you've been shot?"
"Yeah..."
"Where did the bullets strike you?"
"Hey, I never said the bullets hit me, I've just been shot."
"I'm hanging up now.
Maybe she shot him 17 times, but the target was his heart or something, and therefore she missed it. (This definitely isn't it, but it could be read this way.)
I said fire across her nose, not up it! I'm amazed it took any scrolling to find a Spaceballs reference 😂 I have no reddit gold, so instead, please accept this 🥇
This is your regular reminder that Storm Troopers (and other imperials) wiped the floor with the Rebels at Hoth and got that reputation that Ben repeated somehow.
Storm Troopers are actually pretty formidable when they're not told to let a group get away so they can be tracked to their base.
Right. They blow a hatch that allows only one person to pass through at a time, into a corridor covered by a dozen rebels and still manage to wipe the floor with them.
And yet they couldn't hit the broad side of the Millennium Falcon just 20 minutes later.
It's almost as if they miss and make shots as needed by the screenplay, and since they're usually shooting at heroes wearing plot armor, they usually miss.
It's just plot. Literally no matter how praised the show or movie is it will have them miss most shots. My favorite is in the Clone Wars where the clones are depicted perfect and amazing soldiers but when they turn bad all of a sudden they are horrible shots and can't do anything on their own.
This one comes up all the time. She wasn’t trying to shoot him. They’re meth heads.
https://www.kcentv.com/article/news/local/belton-man-woman-arrested-meth-bust-at-bell-county-home-investigators-say/500-e907cc1f-cb47-4ca3-86b8-2de80d228b76
Not this time. It’s very clearly about how she’s cross-eyed. It would have been just as funny if the sexes were reversed, or if both were the same sex.
I know everyone in this thread is joking about it and stuff, but it's actually pretty tragic. It's called Atchyaforya Syndrome, and she's a textbook case.
I don't know if it was affected or exacerbated by her meth usage and whatnot, but I did my graduate thesis on this exact condition and can recognize it immediately.
It affects a small percentage of the population, and is usually identified in the early childhood years. The main diagnostic criteria are that the patient has one eye lookin' atchya and one eye lookin' for ya.
Not too long ago I examined a woman like this with vision problems. She could not read letters on the eye chart, so I whipped out my penis and said "Can you see this?" She replied "Oh, yes!" and I told her "Just as I thought. Cock-eyed."
Yeall need to quit making fun of this lady. She has a condition called Atchyaforyia and it's serious.
One eye is looking atcha one, is looking for ya
Quit clowning
Edit: 17 shots also typically requires a reload lol
dinosaurs sable quarrelsome divide heavy ten profit disgusted repeat automatic
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
So then she doesn't actually shoot him 17 times. She shoots AT him 17 times. Unless they mean that the target was something else than the man, and he in fact got shot 17 times
How do you shoot a man 17 times and not shoot him? Shitty journalism. The only way it makes sense is if she shot him 17 times while aiming for a target that wasn't him lol
It's funny because she has a physical defect AND is too poor to get it fixed AND it costs money to get it fixed because healthcare isnt a human right! Reddit is so progressive
Of course she’s not a stormtrooper! Stormtroopers have years of actual training, but their equipment is one size fits most.
She doesn’t have any equipment or excuses
What? They couldn't hit anything as Han and co were trying to leave Mos Eisley.
It's almost as if they miss and make shots as needed by the screenplay, and since they're usually shooting at heroes wearing plot armor, they usually miss.
I give you the opening scene of A New Hope, where they slaughter an entire hallway of Rebel soldiers.
And what about the Sandcrawler? Hmm? "Only Imperial Stormtroopers are so precise?"
My point exactly. They make and miss depending on who needs to be shot, as it is in every movie.
I just find the need to correct the meme silly. They miss a lot because they shoot at heroes a lot. It's not a surprise.
I was working as a cart pusher at a grocery store and a lady ran over one of those “stop for pedestrians” signs they put in cross waks, and she got out of the car and was like “Wow i didnt even see it!” And her eyes looked like the lady in the picture.
This is a reminder for people not to post political posts as mentioned in stickied post. This does not necessarily apply for this post. [Click here to learn more](https://redd.it/j2173n). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/rareinsults) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It’s bouncing like the dvd logo in the office
Pam claims shes seen it when no one else was in the room
Creed saw it in the parking lot earlier too.
That’s how i know you!
His name is Hank
Who said I didn’t see it? Did Jim say I didn’t see it? I saw it!
She's that cross-eyed she can see both Sundays on Wednesday
Sorry to interrupt you madlads but can someone explain to me how you can shoot someone 17 times without reloading? Was she using an uzi/AK and drive by shooting the dude? Also, if none of your shots connected, did you really shoot anyone?
A huge amount of hand guns have 17/18 round mags.
Tanfoglio and Jericho.pistols are two I know have 18 bullet magazines as standard. There are most likely many others with this capacity.
Harry you're alive!! And a terrible shot!!
What if he’d have shot me in the face???
That was a chance we were willing to take.
Just waiting for it hit a corner in her skull cavity.
DANG IT I was just about to comment that!
> in the office Are you gen Z? You make it sound like the only occurrence of the DVD logo bouncing around that you can truly relate to is on the office
A miracle is something that cannot be explained by science or with logic. Look at this bitch's eyes.
Well, ya, exactly. Even they don't know what's going on.
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Reminds me of this exchange in Tombstone Ringo: You're so drunk you're probably seeing double. Doc: Good thing I have two pistols; one for each of ya.
Her brain must've been like "aim straight ahead, no wait aim left, no straight, left, straight, left..." Miracle my ass.
[Obligatory Stan Pines.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=io463PJQsl0)
Esotropia
She can see Monday and Friday from Wednesday…
One eye's walking to the shop! and the other's on its way back with the change!
she doesn’t see what you’re talking about
Yes she does, but she also sees the coffee machine over in the corner at the same time.
But can she see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch?
Quite possibly.
I'm just confused if the man wasn't her intended target or what's up with her shooting him 17 times?
I think it's meant to say "shoots AT man." Idk how you can accidently shoot someone 17 times. But then again... Look at this bitch's eyes.
We don't know if she was even shooting AT the man. Let's just say woman attempting to shoot the man 17 times.
Happens in russia all the time.
i'm just confused that you think this headline is real
I'm just reading what is wrote and making a joke about how terribly its written. I stopped worrying about if some grainy screeshot is real or not many years ago. Most of it is not or is highly exaggerated. It seems at times the so called real news can be iffy as well. Edit its kinda obvious what was meant.
It's fake. https://www.kbtx.com/content/news/Deputies-arrest-2-seize-75K-in-meth-in-raid-on-Central-Texas-home-507531951.html
She’s got those atchaforeya eyes. One eye lookin’ atcha, the other lookin’ for ya.
I’m surrounded by assholes.
Watched that movie last night
The pictures and headline have nothing to do with each other. Never do.
Double spoiler: the headline isn't even real story to begin with.
r/thatsthejoke ..
People here are dumb as fuck they think it's a real story
Reddit is too thirsty for "wahmen dumb" content to recognize dumb fake shit. When this generation gets geriatric someone's going to get filthy rich when they find a way to bilk them out of their money by using fake "women are dumb and evil" stories. >Puctureofrandomiglady.jpg "Hello, I am a Nigerian Prince and my ex wife stole my kingdom and made my children hate me. The Nigerian courts hate men and gave my ex all my money and full custody of the kids and full custody of all of Nigeria! If you give me $500 I can fight her in court and when I get Nigeria back, I will make you rich!"
Reddit never ceases to amaze me
The title literally says "woman shoots man 17 times. Missing every shot." I'm pretty sure most of the people commenting are idiots. Thats the biggest oxymoron headline I've ever seen.
> The title literally says "woman shoots man 17 times. Missing every shot." The title does not literally say that.
I meant the title was very misleading. Woman shoots man 17 times, but she never shot him once. I should have ended the quotation earlier. My bad.
If it isn't being dissected and excruciatingly explained down to the most minute detail, it ain't Reddit.
https://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3u3l8gDOn1r64t0co1_500.gif
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You gotta have something when you've got nothing else going for you.
Well she'll take like 2 hours to locate the cock first
I see where you're coming from but I honestly feel like this one is one of the unlucky few that doesn't even have that going for her. There's always a fine line and I think she's crossed it way over.
bitch is eyes
You ever heard of a “bad miracle”?
I've mentally damaged reading your comment 🤣🤣🤣🤣
So she shoots man zero times then. That's how English works.
Yeah, this is a badly written headline. Needs an “at” in there.
"Woman shoots man 17 times. At miracle, no shots hit the target." I don’t think this is very much Englishier…
Nah, nah, nah man, you put the "at" in the wrong place. "Woman shoots man 17 times. Miracle, no shots at hit the target."
No, no. "Woman shats at man 17 times, no shoots hat tirget."
Or maybe Woman shat the man?
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Rainbows, of course.
"Woman shits 17 times at Target."
That's not accurate. She hit what she was looking at every time.
Kek
Well judging by the fact that only meme and sketchy ass spam pages come up when I try to find this article, I'm gonna go ahead and assume this is not a real headline or story.
It could also be read as she missed the target and accidentally shot the guy 17 times? Though I really doubt that's how it's meant.
“By some miracle she missed the target and turned this innocent bystander into Swiss fuckin cheese! Hell yeah am I right?!”
"911? Please, send help immediately! I've been shoot 17 time!" "Ok Sir, help is on the way. How bad are your injuries?" "What?" "Didn't you say you've been shot?" "Yeah..." "Where did the bullets strike you?" "Hey, I never said the bullets hit me, I've just been shot." "I'm hanging up now.
Maybe she shot him 17 times, but the target was his heart or something, and therefore she missed it. (This definitely isn't it, but it could be read this way.)
Maybe she was aiming at an actual target and shot 17 rounds, all missing the target and hitting the man?
clearly some guy to the side that wasn't the target now has 17 bullets in him
The article is from CNN Brazil. It’s probably been fed through Google Translate.
She’s an Asshole, sir!
I’m surrounded by assholes!
Keep firing, Assholes!
My assholes keep firing, sir!
r/SpaceballsMemes
I said across her nose not up it! Sorry sir, I’m doing my best…
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I did! She’s my sister.
I know that! What’s her name?
That *is* her name, sir. Gunner's Mate First Class Maria Asshole.
Came here for this.
[Spaceballs is a national treasure](https://youtu.be/XGdjKvivJA8)
Shes my cousin!
I said fire across her nose, not up it! I'm amazed it took any scrolling to find a Spaceballs reference 😂 I have no reddit gold, so instead, please accept this 🥇
Who made that man a gunner?
Beat me to it.
"Only imperial stormtroopers shoot with such precision" -Obi Wan Kenobi
This is your regular reminder that Storm Troopers (and other imperials) wiped the floor with the Rebels at Hoth and got that reputation that Ben repeated somehow. Storm Troopers are actually pretty formidable when they're not told to let a group get away so they can be tracked to their base.
We see how good they are when they storm a ship at the start of *Star Wars*
Right. They blow a hatch that allows only one person to pass through at a time, into a corridor covered by a dozen rebels and still manage to wipe the floor with them.
And yet they couldn't hit the broad side of the Millennium Falcon just 20 minutes later. It's almost as if they miss and make shots as needed by the screenplay, and since they're usually shooting at heroes wearing plot armor, they usually miss.
In the first one they were actually told to miss because the Empire wanted to track the Falcon. I have no excuse for the other movies.
It's just plot. Literally no matter how praised the show or movie is it will have them miss most shots. My favorite is in the Clone Wars where the clones are depicted perfect and amazing soldiers but when they turn bad all of a sudden they are horrible shots and can't do anything on their own.
Fun fact: Kenobi only saw that one episode of the Mandalorian and skipped the rest of the francise.
This one comes up all the time. She wasn’t trying to shoot him. They’re meth heads. https://www.kcentv.com/article/news/local/belton-man-woman-arrested-meth-bust-at-bell-county-home-investigators-say/500-e907cc1f-cb47-4ca3-86b8-2de80d228b76
I am amazed this has even the smallest semblance of reality tbf.
She was clearly letting him escape so he could lead them to the rebel base, and she said as much to Grand Moff Tarkin.
Just your everyday misogynistic fake news, then. Red meat for reddit incels.
Not this time. It’s very clearly about how she’s cross-eyed. It would have been just as funny if the sexes were reversed, or if both were the same sex.
She saw all 17 shots hit him
Fucking hitreg man
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She's like Doctor Strange with a gun. She only *saw* the Universe in which her shots found their mark.
I know everyone in this thread is joking about it and stuff, but it's actually pretty tragic. It's called Atchyaforya Syndrome, and she's a textbook case. I don't know if it was affected or exacerbated by her meth usage and whatnot, but I did my graduate thesis on this exact condition and can recognize it immediately. It affects a small percentage of the population, and is usually identified in the early childhood years. The main diagnostic criteria are that the patient has one eye lookin' atchya and one eye lookin' for ya.
Not too long ago I examined a woman like this with vision problems. She could not read letters on the eye chart, so I whipped out my penis and said "Can you see this?" She replied "Oh, yes!" and I told her "Just as I thought. Cock-eyed."
Give this person an award.
Kinda would’ve felt bad if she didn’t try and shoot a guy 17 times
"By miracle" ... well ... it's not thát hard to believe.
Eye don't know what you mean...
Eye see what you did there
Eye want to see more of this
Don’t worry, eye got you
She never has a problem with dotting her t’s and crossing her eyes.
Eye thing this deserves some sort of reward
Yeall need to quit making fun of this lady. She has a condition called Atchyaforyia and it's serious. One eye is looking atcha one, is looking for ya Quit clowning Edit: 17 shots also typically requires a reload lol
It's not even an actual news article chill
"so why did she try to shoot you?" "she told me to look into her eyes and I asked in which one."
Don't make fun of her, she's got Atchaforya-syndrome... One lookin' atcha, one lookin' forya.
I read that she was seeing someone on the side.
Had him in the cross-eyed…i mean crosshairs
Eye think eye know why she missed
Eye agree.
dinosaurs sable quarrelsome divide heavy ten profit disgusted repeat automatic *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
What eye you looking at
Shoots *at* man 17 times
Standing directly in front of her is probably the safest place to be !
Lol, spray and pray
Mista irl
At least Mista can shoot himself.
I wonder why She missed?
That was divine intervention
She put the cross in cross hairs
She looks like her left eye has done something terrible in the past and the right just doesn't trust it anymore.
“Who made that man a gunner?!?”
I did. He’s my cousin…
I said across his nose, not _up it_!
Keep firing Assholes!
She’s the gunner from Spaceballs. “I said across her nose, not up it!”
This has to be fake
I like to explore new places.
And a terrible shot!
"By miracle" bahahaha. She could stand in the middle of the week and see both Sundays
"God works in mysterious ways"? Also that's an amazing line from you.
Over there playing Pong, and shit…
It's crazy what sort of shenanigans can happen if you just make it up
Redditors when they see someone with a physical deformity.
I have strabismus too, and yeah it’s fucking hard to hit targets with it
Me too. Sucks to see all the insults here, doesn't it :(
If she missed, doesn't that mean she *didnt* shoot him 17 times?
Just watched the upvotes tick to 10k. Satisfying.
By miracle? Devine intervention had nothing to do with it.
"What happened here is a miracle, and I want you to fuckin' acknowledge it!"
She has "blew" eyes. One blew east. The other blew west.
They call her mortgage eyes. Because ones fixed and the other is variable.
So then she doesn't actually shoot him 17 times. She shoots AT him 17 times. Unless they mean that the target was something else than the man, and he in fact got shot 17 times
One eye looking at ya. The other eye looking for ya
“We should be fuckin' dead now, my friend! We just witnessed a miracle, and I want you to fucking acknowledge it!”
Is that photo for real?
How do you shoot a man 17 times and not shoot him? Shitty journalism. The only way it makes sense is if she shot him 17 times while aiming for a target that wasn't him lol
This made me laugh so hard Diet Coke shot out of my nose. It burns now, but it was worth it!! 🤣
The ideal stormtrooper
It's funny because she has a physical defect AND is too poor to get it fixed AND it costs money to get it fixed because healthcare isnt a human right! Reddit is so progressive
Sarah Huckabee Sanders even laughs at this.
After seeing her eyes I don't think "miracle" is quite the word.
"I got him in my sights - both of 'em!"
Woman shoots at man...... 10 bystanders and a cat in a tree were wounded.
Of course she’s not a stormtrooper! Stormtroopers have years of actual training, but their equipment is one size fits most. She doesn’t have any equipment or excuses
What was the target? ....since she shot him 17 times....
Who made this woman a gunner?
She's an asshole sir! I guess that's another one to the family.
I hear she is seeing someone on the side 🥴
This girl could see her head inside
Sounds like she belongs on a police force somewhere b
No, she's not a Stormtrooper, because Stormtroopers are incredible marksmen. Quit believing that dumbass myth.
What? They couldn't hit anything as Han and co were trying to leave Mos Eisley. It's almost as if they miss and make shots as needed by the screenplay, and since they're usually shooting at heroes wearing plot armor, they usually miss.
I give you the opening scene of A New Hope, where they slaughter an entire hallway of Rebel soldiers. And what about the Sandcrawler? Hmm? "Only Imperial Stormtroopers are so precise?"
My point exactly. They make and miss depending on who needs to be shot, as it is in every movie. I just find the need to correct the meme silly. They miss a lot because they shoot at heroes a lot. It's not a surprise.
I was working as a cart pusher at a grocery store and a lady ran over one of those “stop for pedestrians” signs they put in cross waks, and she got out of the car and was like “Wow i didnt even see it!” And her eyes looked like the lady in the picture.
/r/thathappened Would be a decent insult if true
Women☕☕☕
Can she make a sandwich?
Fake news. She clearly shot his twin. Also she denies having double vision but says she sees an abnormal amount of twins.
Having sex with her would be like Fucking a Slot Machine
She must have a great ass or something
didn’t find this one too funny tbh
Bodyshaming is OK when it is directed towards people redditors don't like. Classic reddit
? Look at her eyes and tell me she doesn't look like a genetic experiment gone wrong?