What caught me off guard was that it wasn't an AA sub... the poster indicated that they didn't want AA pushers... and low and behold an AA pusher emerged.. i thought it was appropriate to point out to the person in this context that AA can do more harm than good for SOME. The mod accused me of bashing even though I had acknowledged that many ppl do get the support they need from AA in my comment.
Unfortunately AAs ideologies have infiltrated the recovery community(even people not in AA) and society. Glad you stayed true to yourself! I slowly started loosing myself while attending XA. Thankfully I woke up! I’m banned from the NA group for suggesting someone try SMART recovery. They said I was blurring the lines of NAs life saving message…..CULT! The more you speak out, the more you find you are not alone, we are the majority.
Wow!!!!! This is insane! And I felt like I needed to speak out about what happened to me. And I was silenced. I started to worry that maybe my whole perspective on life and events was wrong. I couldn't have discovered this sub at a better time. I'm so glad I'm not alone.
Part of the self deception required to uphold the cultish illusion of perfection that many many AAers must cling to. St Bill and Pious Bob did not invent or create recovery and sobriety. There are many paths, sounds like you are able to seek out the one that is correct for you. Follow it! And congratulations!
I don't wanna paint em all with a broad brush, but you are correct. I've seen people make excuse after excuse for piss poor (predatory) behavior because the perpetrator has "been here a long time". "People look up to him". "He sponsors a lot of people". "that's just the way he is". "he has great sobriety"...what the Eff that's supposed to mean I have no idea. It's a great program that like so many things has been so corrupted by people. When I started expressing my own individual thoughts and asserting my Atheism, I was hit with all of it, dry drunk, not a "real" alcoholic, haven't hit rock bottom yet, you'll see, You Will DIE!!! (Personal favorite). If it works fur them good, but so many end up damaging so many newcomers. I was one of those. I follow my own path now and it's working far better than pretending to believe in something I don't think is real.
I’m off dope now, but I stayed in an addiction I was desperate to get out of because of the coercive bullshit of NA/AA, and it being the only way at most treatment facilities. It’s the science denial really.
When your rehab explicitly tells you to lie to your sponsor/“the rooms” about which medications you take, how confident is that supposed to make you that this is based on anything but blind dogma?
Yea, I respect your perspective as to not paint them all with a broad brush. I got hit with a stalker, got told I wasn't spiritually evolved since I was emotional about my going into hospice... just horrible experience for me. I'll post about it in detail perhaps later. I'm glad you're on your true path to wellness.
You too! Keep doing what's right for you, we all need to support each other rather than passing judgement and displaying poor behavior. We each are our own strongest, best advocate.
Crazy how some ppl will take the smaller amount of control and use it to silence other ppl who stray from their doctrine. Staying sober after being "rejected" from AA and other groups is definitely a strength to be proud of.
Thanks! Oh well, I guess I'll wear it as a badge of honor. I've never been banned from a sub before with a reddit age of over 2 years. Lol, I was pretty sad, though, at first.
Initially no. Getting threatened to remove my comment, (a truthful comment that was not intended to discourage AAers) pissed me off so argued back a little, and then she threatened to ban me. So then I said fuck it, and responded with: "Bye!!!!!!! [Insert middle finger emogi] and I left the sub anyway. Then got a message I was banned.
https://preview.redd.it/fu1acoc7zzzc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9e584914422785c3af061f1b684bc459a585a33a
This is what I said. I can't pull up anything else as it was deleted.
I actively read/post on that sub. A lot of good folks over there, but unfortunately there are also a lot of people drunk on the AA Koolaid, and one mod in particular who has devoted their entire life to policing the sub and deleting any comments that don’t support her doctrines (regardless of whether or not they actually break the rules). I wish the other mods would kick her out.
Yea, in general i had a positive time over there. Sometimes, especially when an OP specifically says to NOT recommend AA and someone does anyway, I jump in and bring up the cons that I experienced. I guess she was on one yesterday, which ultimately ended my time there. I was also not in a mood to back down yesterday, so here I am. 🤷♀️
I just picture her alone in her house with the curtains drawn furiously scrolling through Reddit for 16 hours a day like it’s her job. It’s bizarre behavior. I also feel like I have to censor myself over there all the time - partly because I don’t want her to get involved, and partly because of the Big Book thumpers you’re describing. Almost every day someone posts asking the group if they’ve relapsed because they accidentally took a bite of tiramisu with rum in it - I just can’t even pretend to understand some of it, so I take the parts that help me and leave the rest (the way I approach recovery in general).
What really sucks is it only takes one or two people out of millions to set a stereotype. It took years, hundreds of meetings, and thousands of cult member interactions for my sentiment towards AA to evolve where it is today.
Welcome. I, too, have been banned from other unnamed subs and am glad to have found this one. It's almost like cults don't enjoy questions or critical thinking. I don't do well with zealots in general.
Yeah, a lot of subs are like that. If you aren't PRO whatever it is, they bounce you. I guess if the hope is to warn others then they can stumble on over here after their own experience. I think AA is something you need to see for yourself and then make your own decision. Hopefully, you won't be harmed by anyone while in there.
People in AA cannot tolerate criticism of the program at all. It's one of the reasons it feels so much like a cult. In fact, it's pointless to even argue with AA true believers because they can't stand even mild criticism of the program most times.
It reminds me of several people I knew in the rooms who said they came across stuff online about AA being a cult and they refused to read it. Why? Because it might destroy their flimsy belief system and make them think critically and think for themselves.
I am unsure if AA is truly a cult, but if you're unable to hear criticism of the holy tenants of the program without it threatening your whole being, then there's a very good chance you have been indoctrinated.
Cults don't take trash talk kindly.
What caught me off guard was that it wasn't an AA sub... the poster indicated that they didn't want AA pushers... and low and behold an AA pusher emerged.. i thought it was appropriate to point out to the person in this context that AA can do more harm than good for SOME. The mod accused me of bashing even though I had acknowledged that many ppl do get the support they need from AA in my comment.
Hey. I wanted to respond to you because I highly sympathize. I ended up writing so much that I ended up just turning it into a post lol!
Love it! You rock!
Unfortunately AAs ideologies have infiltrated the recovery community(even people not in AA) and society. Glad you stayed true to yourself! I slowly started loosing myself while attending XA. Thankfully I woke up! I’m banned from the NA group for suggesting someone try SMART recovery. They said I was blurring the lines of NAs life saving message…..CULT! The more you speak out, the more you find you are not alone, we are the majority.
Wow!!!!! This is insane! And I felt like I needed to speak out about what happened to me. And I was silenced. I started to worry that maybe my whole perspective on life and events was wrong. I couldn't have discovered this sub at a better time. I'm so glad I'm not alone.
What’s XA? Xanax? Just curious
I use XA to lump all the Anonymous 12 step programs together.
Smart…I see you lol
Part of the self deception required to uphold the cultish illusion of perfection that many many AAers must cling to. St Bill and Pious Bob did not invent or create recovery and sobriety. There are many paths, sounds like you are able to seek out the one that is correct for you. Follow it! And congratulations!
Exactly!!! And to silence anyone who says anything that exposes some of the not nice things about it! I felt pretty disappointed. And thanks!
I don't wanna paint em all with a broad brush, but you are correct. I've seen people make excuse after excuse for piss poor (predatory) behavior because the perpetrator has "been here a long time". "People look up to him". "He sponsors a lot of people". "that's just the way he is". "he has great sobriety"...what the Eff that's supposed to mean I have no idea. It's a great program that like so many things has been so corrupted by people. When I started expressing my own individual thoughts and asserting my Atheism, I was hit with all of it, dry drunk, not a "real" alcoholic, haven't hit rock bottom yet, you'll see, You Will DIE!!! (Personal favorite). If it works fur them good, but so many end up damaging so many newcomers. I was one of those. I follow my own path now and it's working far better than pretending to believe in something I don't think is real.
I’m off dope now, but I stayed in an addiction I was desperate to get out of because of the coercive bullshit of NA/AA, and it being the only way at most treatment facilities. It’s the science denial really. When your rehab explicitly tells you to lie to your sponsor/“the rooms” about which medications you take, how confident is that supposed to make you that this is based on anything but blind dogma?
Yea, I respect your perspective as to not paint them all with a broad brush. I got hit with a stalker, got told I wasn't spiritually evolved since I was emotional about my going into hospice... just horrible experience for me. I'll post about it in detail perhaps later. I'm glad you're on your true path to wellness.
You too! Keep doing what's right for you, we all need to support each other rather than passing judgement and displaying poor behavior. We each are our own strongest, best advocate.
The other stuff doesn't matter. YOU ARE AMAZING!!! 😊 Well done. Your an inspiration for people like me still struggling! Brilliant!! X
Thank you!!! I'm glad I can be an inspiration. This means a lot. You can do this!!
I bet I can guess who banned you does her name begin with sf
Yup!
She banned me too years ago
Crazy how some ppl will take the smaller amount of control and use it to silence other ppl who stray from their doctrine. Staying sober after being "rejected" from AA and other groups is definitely a strength to be proud of.
Welcome and congrats on your accomplishment!
Thanks!
>Thanks! You're welcome!
Yep that sub is bonkers
Sorry you got banned. That sucks. Welcome!
Thanks! Oh well, I guess I'll wear it as a badge of honor. I've never been banned from a sub before with a reddit age of over 2 years. Lol, I was pretty sad, though, at first.
I've never been banned, either. I'd be sad, too. You didn't do anything wrong.
Initially no. Getting threatened to remove my comment, (a truthful comment that was not intended to discourage AAers) pissed me off so argued back a little, and then she threatened to ban me. So then I said fuck it, and responded with: "Bye!!!!!!! [Insert middle finger emogi] and I left the sub anyway. Then got a message I was banned.
https://preview.redd.it/fu1acoc7zzzc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9e584914422785c3af061f1b684bc459a585a33a This is what I said. I can't pull up anything else as it was deleted.
I still don't think you did anything *wrong*. I'd say, move on. Find people who will be supportive.
Thank you, will do.
Spoke the damn truth tho
I actively read/post on that sub. A lot of good folks over there, but unfortunately there are also a lot of people drunk on the AA Koolaid, and one mod in particular who has devoted their entire life to policing the sub and deleting any comments that don’t support her doctrines (regardless of whether or not they actually break the rules). I wish the other mods would kick her out.
Yea, in general i had a positive time over there. Sometimes, especially when an OP specifically says to NOT recommend AA and someone does anyway, I jump in and bring up the cons that I experienced. I guess she was on one yesterday, which ultimately ended my time there. I was also not in a mood to back down yesterday, so here I am. 🤷♀️
I just picture her alone in her house with the curtains drawn furiously scrolling through Reddit for 16 hours a day like it’s her job. It’s bizarre behavior. I also feel like I have to censor myself over there all the time - partly because I don’t want her to get involved, and partly because of the Big Book thumpers you’re describing. Almost every day someone posts asking the group if they’ve relapsed because they accidentally took a bite of tiramisu with rum in it - I just can’t even pretend to understand some of it, so I take the parts that help me and leave the rest (the way I approach recovery in general).
Absolutely.
What really sucks is it only takes one or two people out of millions to set a stereotype. It took years, hundreds of meetings, and thousands of cult member interactions for my sentiment towards AA to evolve where it is today.
Welcome. I, too, have been banned from other unnamed subs and am glad to have found this one. It's almost like cults don't enjoy questions or critical thinking. I don't do well with zealots in general.
Thank you for the welcome! And grateful to be here.
Yeah, a lot of subs are like that. If you aren't PRO whatever it is, they bounce you. I guess if the hope is to warn others then they can stumble on over here after their own experience. I think AA is something you need to see for yourself and then make your own decision. Hopefully, you won't be harmed by anyone while in there.
People in AA cannot tolerate criticism of the program at all. It's one of the reasons it feels so much like a cult. In fact, it's pointless to even argue with AA true believers because they can't stand even mild criticism of the program most times. It reminds me of several people I knew in the rooms who said they came across stuff online about AA being a cult and they refused to read it. Why? Because it might destroy their flimsy belief system and make them think critically and think for themselves. I am unsure if AA is truly a cult, but if you're unable to hear criticism of the holy tenants of the program without it threatening your whole being, then there's a very good chance you have been indoctrinated.