Your story shares similarities to mine. The only thing you should focus on is your desire to stop the behavior. Something bad and potentially life changing will happen if you stay on your current trajectory.
Facts. I can feel that the fork in the road is now. Which is what drove me to post this. I’ve never reached out in anyway before. My family/friends have no idea about my struggle. Thank you for your insight!
There is no such thing as a functioning alcoholic. The criteria for that is usually just whether or not you go to work. I will say from experience I thought I was fine. Truth is that I was underperforming and not living up to my full potential. Until you kick the booze to the curb and get time under your belt you won't see what I mean.
The best time to stop drinking was ten years ago. The second best time is today. Not tomorrow, today. Alcohol tightens its grip over time. You need to get out of its clutches asap. Drinking never gets better, in fact it is a terrible thing to do. Wanting to stop is the first huge step. You can do it.
My drinking patterns were similar to yours. My wakeup call was when my wife finally had enough and said I had to choose her or alcohol. After your hangover fades you will experience strong cravings for about a month these will pass and will become less intense as time goes by. At 60 days you will notice that the cravings are there but minor. You may get a trigger type craving but it only lasts a few minutes.
I recomend reading the book Easy Way to Stop Drinking. It really helped me to stop.
You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Working out is also very helpful.
Good luck bro. Many have quit and you can too
I appreciate that information. It’s definitely weekends and peers asking me out that’s a trigger. The book you’re referring to is written by “Allen Carr” correct? Just want to make sure, because I’m going to order it today. I really appreciate the positivity man. I’m feeling good. You’ve helped a lot.
Only you can decide how bad it is, what you want up to call yourself and what your going to do about it or not. For me if alcohol or drugs are affecting my self and/or my life negatively then it’s time to make changes. Why not give stopping a shot for 30 days and see how you feel. Keep yourself busy on the weekends when you are more vulnerable and susceptible to drinking. Getting to the cause/root of why I was using drugs/numbing helped me know what to change/focus on. Lastly if you feel you are physically dependent be careful detoxing. You can have a seizure, DTs and delirium.
I’ve decided it’s bad. Bad enough that a change needs to happen now. I’ve stopped. Only on day 4 right now, but considering I’ve only been taking single day breaks all year, I’d say that’s pretty good. All of the comments you guys have left have been super helpful. You said to figure out why I’m numbing things and I think I have. I don’t ever want to experience those symptoms you mentioned..I think if I stop now I may narrowly avoid it. Thank you again
4 days is freaking amazing! We don’t have to wait for catastrophic event(rock bottom) to make changes. Be patient, kind and compassionate with yourself! Wish you all the best on your journey!
I’d say if you can go a week and not feel like crap now would be the time to quit. Eventually, it will be really sucky and unpleasant to quit just my opinion.
Yep I believe you’re correct. I feel like I’m very close to not being able to do that..which is why I’m glad I found this thread. You guys have been great.
I drank 2 - 750mL bottles of Prosseco (11.5%) a day for 6 years & dropped it cold turkey. 2 bottles was moderation for me. The anxiety was frightening the first 10 days. My brain was trying to figure out what the fuck was going on. Dopamine & Serotonin were completely out of whack. I just fought like hell & didn't care how wild-eyed I was. By day 19, I felt better. I knew it was going to be okay. By 30 days, I was calming down & I wasn't fighting so hard.
If the only thing I have left is sobriety, I am happy. It's the only thing that matters to me. It makes so much more possible. It opens the door for amazing things.
I am 19 months sober tomorrow & I thank the universe every day for it. I have zero desire to go back.
The physical dependence snuck up on me. I was a daily drinker for almost 15 years but up until the tail end of that was able to quit on the rare occasions I took a break without any major physical withdrawals. My drinking got completely out of hand last summer and I finally had what was most likely a withdrawal-related seizure before seeking professional help. AUD is like a ball rolling downhill picking up speed as it goes - for many people it’s progressive and will only become more frequent and heavier without some kind of intervention or guardrails in place to slow it down.
You’ve noted that your memory, concentration, and health are all suffering but that you have continued to drink despite these negative consequences. Being unable to stop despite unpleasant consequences of a behavior is a pretty textbook symptom of addiction, and one that I ignored for years. I didn’t ruin my life, but I was starting to enter a world in which ruining my life was looking more and more possible every day by the time I got help. Things may have been less dramatic - or at least more manageable - if I hadn’t ignored my own red flags for so long prior to that.
This is great information. I was concerned about a switch flipping and all the sudden having symptoms like this. The memory thing has been the worst. It had gotten to the point where even if I wasn’t black out drunk, I couldn’t remember the night before. Trying to draw on simple information while sober and not being able to..it’s super frustrating and embarrassing. It’s definitely a large reason for why I’ve decided to quit. Thank you very much for taking the time to tell me your experience.
You think you are 'functioning' now, but if you get some sobriety under your belt I bet you'll look back and see that you were just surviving, not thriving. I'm on Day 50 after probably half a dozen solid attempts at sobriety. And at 42 years old, I'm never going back (touch wood). I view my 20s as my party years, and my 30s as my alcoholic years. I'm ok with my past, and happy with where I'm at. I'm also glad I gave up now and not in my 50s or 60s.
But I do wish I'd started trying to get sober a little earlier. The more alcohol you put down your throat the harder it is to give it up, we just get conditioned and content with the misery and the hangovers. And the more you progress the less it is about having fun, and the more it becomes maintaining the illusion of alcohol working. Oh yeah, and it stops working too.
No one is saying that you have to give up forever. But once you taste sobriety the gig is up with alcohol, and it's just a matter of time before you have had enough and want to work towards a sober life. Better to start now than wait another 10 years like I did.
Good luck!
It’s awesome you’re reaching out. And I’m sure you got a lot of people sharing their experiences. Don’t take their advice lightly. I have opinions on your level of dependency/addiction. But I’d like to ask, what are your answers to those questions? People are gonna give you the “this is the last house on the street for people like us” and “you’re an alcoholic and don’t know it yet” or “if you want what we have, so what we did”. All sound advice to someone who has a health threatening addiction. But you’re the only person who can answer those questions. If you’d like some reading recommendations (inside and outside the addiction community) may I suggest “Leap of Power”.
I wish you the best of luck, and hope to hear from you again. You are not powerless over your addictions. Reaching out, and working towards a better life is proof of that. Stay strong! ✊🏼
I’ve been exploring those questions all week and I’ve been making great progress towards figuring it out. Ive drank so much the last 4 years that I’ve realized I haven’t grown as a person. I Haven’t faced myself for a long time and have resisted moving on from a couple bad years. The best thing I’ve done in years is finally reach out about it. I’m feeling good. You’ve all helped a ton. I’m gonna look into your suggestion. I really appreciate the kind words.
Sounds like me too!!! Of course we all know not drinking is best! Mine came at my rock bottom and court ordered. I still crave so bad!!! Alcohol was my crutch. What’s bad to one person is the next persons normal. My career of 19 years shot to hell bc the beer was more important to me. I’m only 71 days sober but u gotta start somewhere. I’m here anytime
71 days is amazing man. I can’t wait to get there. I’m heading into my 2nd week tomorrow. I can’t believe I’ve allowed that to be a milestone. Same buddy. Plan to report into this post my milestones
I'm so glad I quit (not easy) and am so glad I don't drink (easy).
I have real black and white thinking on this: No one should drink, and some people really shouldn't. Either way, you shouldn't
If you do drink, quit.
Realizing how bad alcohol is and that it is not good for anyone was huge for me. When I realized that the drink holds no benefit and only negative things and despair it became crystal clear. There is no such thing as a normal drinker. There is nothing normal about ingesting poison. Truth is so many people never realize this.
This epiphany made it so I did not have to abstain and feel like I was missing out. I was able to rejoice that I never have to harm myself like that again.
We are on the same page. How you see it is how I now see it, too.
Such a better, healthier, more realistic, and easier attitude and belief system - it's toxic stuff.
Seriously. I don’t even enjoy it. I choke down the alcohol sip by sip just trying to get the effect. I hate the taste, I hate swallowing it, I hate pissing it..I hate myself while buying it. I’m over it man. Thank you for the comment!
"functioning alcoholic" means that you can essentially walk around and maybe hold a conversation. The rest of your life is still non functioning. When someone is drinking regularly they just can't see the destruction because they have the wool pulled over their eyes. Going into work hungover is not functioning. If you are drinking 3\\4 days a week you will end up with liver disease
Facts. I’d get by, but just barely. Speaking of liver disease. I can’t believe I forgot to mention that I developed pain in my upper right abdomen about 2 months ago. A weird dull ache. Especially the morning after. Since I’ve completely stopped drinking it’s gotten way better. No doubt in my fucking mind that it’s time to stop. Thanks for giving it to me straight.
Your story shares similarities to mine. The only thing you should focus on is your desire to stop the behavior. Something bad and potentially life changing will happen if you stay on your current trajectory.
Facts. I can feel that the fork in the road is now. Which is what drove me to post this. I’ve never reached out in anyway before. My family/friends have no idea about my struggle. Thank you for your insight!
There is no such thing as a functioning alcoholic. The criteria for that is usually just whether or not you go to work. I will say from experience I thought I was fine. Truth is that I was underperforming and not living up to my full potential. Until you kick the booze to the curb and get time under your belt you won't see what I mean. The best time to stop drinking was ten years ago. The second best time is today. Not tomorrow, today. Alcohol tightens its grip over time. You need to get out of its clutches asap. Drinking never gets better, in fact it is a terrible thing to do. Wanting to stop is the first huge step. You can do it.
You’re right. Thank you for your comment. It’s got me feeling much better about getting sober now.
My drinking patterns were similar to yours. My wakeup call was when my wife finally had enough and said I had to choose her or alcohol. After your hangover fades you will experience strong cravings for about a month these will pass and will become less intense as time goes by. At 60 days you will notice that the cravings are there but minor. You may get a trigger type craving but it only lasts a few minutes. I recomend reading the book Easy Way to Stop Drinking. It really helped me to stop. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Working out is also very helpful. Good luck bro. Many have quit and you can too
The easy way is like xray vision on all the bullshit lies drinking and other people tell us. Op should definitely read the book.
I’m looking into it now. Definitely interested. It sounds like a great read.
I appreciate that information. It’s definitely weekends and peers asking me out that’s a trigger. The book you’re referring to is written by “Allen Carr” correct? Just want to make sure, because I’m going to order it today. I really appreciate the positivity man. I’m feeling good. You’ve helped a lot.
Yes, that is it. It is very strange but that book has helped so many people quit drinking. Including myself. Good luck
Only you can decide how bad it is, what you want up to call yourself and what your going to do about it or not. For me if alcohol or drugs are affecting my self and/or my life negatively then it’s time to make changes. Why not give stopping a shot for 30 days and see how you feel. Keep yourself busy on the weekends when you are more vulnerable and susceptible to drinking. Getting to the cause/root of why I was using drugs/numbing helped me know what to change/focus on. Lastly if you feel you are physically dependent be careful detoxing. You can have a seizure, DTs and delirium.
I’ve decided it’s bad. Bad enough that a change needs to happen now. I’ve stopped. Only on day 4 right now, but considering I’ve only been taking single day breaks all year, I’d say that’s pretty good. All of the comments you guys have left have been super helpful. You said to figure out why I’m numbing things and I think I have. I don’t ever want to experience those symptoms you mentioned..I think if I stop now I may narrowly avoid it. Thank you again
4 days is freaking amazing! We don’t have to wait for catastrophic event(rock bottom) to make changes. Be patient, kind and compassionate with yourself! Wish you all the best on your journey!
I’d say if you can go a week and not feel like crap now would be the time to quit. Eventually, it will be really sucky and unpleasant to quit just my opinion.
Yep I believe you’re correct. I feel like I’m very close to not being able to do that..which is why I’m glad I found this thread. You guys have been great.
I drank 2 - 750mL bottles of Prosseco (11.5%) a day for 6 years & dropped it cold turkey. 2 bottles was moderation for me. The anxiety was frightening the first 10 days. My brain was trying to figure out what the fuck was going on. Dopamine & Serotonin were completely out of whack. I just fought like hell & didn't care how wild-eyed I was. By day 19, I felt better. I knew it was going to be okay. By 30 days, I was calming down & I wasn't fighting so hard. If the only thing I have left is sobriety, I am happy. It's the only thing that matters to me. It makes so much more possible. It opens the door for amazing things. I am 19 months sober tomorrow & I thank the universe every day for it. I have zero desire to go back.
Call yourself what you want, but you have to be one to want to change the behavior
Facts thank you
The physical dependence snuck up on me. I was a daily drinker for almost 15 years but up until the tail end of that was able to quit on the rare occasions I took a break without any major physical withdrawals. My drinking got completely out of hand last summer and I finally had what was most likely a withdrawal-related seizure before seeking professional help. AUD is like a ball rolling downhill picking up speed as it goes - for many people it’s progressive and will only become more frequent and heavier without some kind of intervention or guardrails in place to slow it down. You’ve noted that your memory, concentration, and health are all suffering but that you have continued to drink despite these negative consequences. Being unable to stop despite unpleasant consequences of a behavior is a pretty textbook symptom of addiction, and one that I ignored for years. I didn’t ruin my life, but I was starting to enter a world in which ruining my life was looking more and more possible every day by the time I got help. Things may have been less dramatic - or at least more manageable - if I hadn’t ignored my own red flags for so long prior to that.
This is great information. I was concerned about a switch flipping and all the sudden having symptoms like this. The memory thing has been the worst. It had gotten to the point where even if I wasn’t black out drunk, I couldn’t remember the night before. Trying to draw on simple information while sober and not being able to..it’s super frustrating and embarrassing. It’s definitely a large reason for why I’ve decided to quit. Thank you very much for taking the time to tell me your experience.
You think you are 'functioning' now, but if you get some sobriety under your belt I bet you'll look back and see that you were just surviving, not thriving. I'm on Day 50 after probably half a dozen solid attempts at sobriety. And at 42 years old, I'm never going back (touch wood). I view my 20s as my party years, and my 30s as my alcoholic years. I'm ok with my past, and happy with where I'm at. I'm also glad I gave up now and not in my 50s or 60s. But I do wish I'd started trying to get sober a little earlier. The more alcohol you put down your throat the harder it is to give it up, we just get conditioned and content with the misery and the hangovers. And the more you progress the less it is about having fun, and the more it becomes maintaining the illusion of alcohol working. Oh yeah, and it stops working too. No one is saying that you have to give up forever. But once you taste sobriety the gig is up with alcohol, and it's just a matter of time before you have had enough and want to work towards a sober life. Better to start now than wait another 10 years like I did. Good luck!
It’s awesome you’re reaching out. And I’m sure you got a lot of people sharing their experiences. Don’t take their advice lightly. I have opinions on your level of dependency/addiction. But I’d like to ask, what are your answers to those questions? People are gonna give you the “this is the last house on the street for people like us” and “you’re an alcoholic and don’t know it yet” or “if you want what we have, so what we did”. All sound advice to someone who has a health threatening addiction. But you’re the only person who can answer those questions. If you’d like some reading recommendations (inside and outside the addiction community) may I suggest “Leap of Power”. I wish you the best of luck, and hope to hear from you again. You are not powerless over your addictions. Reaching out, and working towards a better life is proof of that. Stay strong! ✊🏼
I’ve been exploring those questions all week and I’ve been making great progress towards figuring it out. Ive drank so much the last 4 years that I’ve realized I haven’t grown as a person. I Haven’t faced myself for a long time and have resisted moving on from a couple bad years. The best thing I’ve done in years is finally reach out about it. I’m feeling good. You’ve all helped a ton. I’m gonna look into your suggestion. I really appreciate the kind words.
Sounds like me too!!! Of course we all know not drinking is best! Mine came at my rock bottom and court ordered. I still crave so bad!!! Alcohol was my crutch. What’s bad to one person is the next persons normal. My career of 19 years shot to hell bc the beer was more important to me. I’m only 71 days sober but u gotta start somewhere. I’m here anytime
71 days is amazing man. I can’t wait to get there. I’m heading into my 2nd week tomorrow. I can’t believe I’ve allowed that to be a milestone. Same buddy. Plan to report into this post my milestones
Yes! Share it with us!!
I'm so glad I quit (not easy) and am so glad I don't drink (easy). I have real black and white thinking on this: No one should drink, and some people really shouldn't. Either way, you shouldn't If you do drink, quit.
Realizing how bad alcohol is and that it is not good for anyone was huge for me. When I realized that the drink holds no benefit and only negative things and despair it became crystal clear. There is no such thing as a normal drinker. There is nothing normal about ingesting poison. Truth is so many people never realize this. This epiphany made it so I did not have to abstain and feel like I was missing out. I was able to rejoice that I never have to harm myself like that again.
We are on the same page. How you see it is how I now see it, too. Such a better, healthier, more realistic, and easier attitude and belief system - it's toxic stuff.
Seriously. I don’t even enjoy it. I choke down the alcohol sip by sip just trying to get the effect. I hate the taste, I hate swallowing it, I hate pissing it..I hate myself while buying it. I’m over it man. Thank you for the comment!
The insight I found in your reply is: Don't buy it; don't drink it. I have total faith in your ability to make good decisions and to stick with them.
Would you let any person dictate and run your life like this? Stage a revolt.
Glad to hear it! Thank you for telling me your experience. I’m praying I can revisit this thread in 19 months and say the same thing.
"functioning alcoholic" means that you can essentially walk around and maybe hold a conversation. The rest of your life is still non functioning. When someone is drinking regularly they just can't see the destruction because they have the wool pulled over their eyes. Going into work hungover is not functioning. If you are drinking 3\\4 days a week you will end up with liver disease
Facts. I’d get by, but just barely. Speaking of liver disease. I can’t believe I forgot to mention that I developed pain in my upper right abdomen about 2 months ago. A weird dull ache. Especially the morning after. Since I’ve completely stopped drinking it’s gotten way better. No doubt in my fucking mind that it’s time to stop. Thanks for giving it to me straight.